SEAL team - Father and Son
by Mirandaforever
Summary: Clay's new love causes him to become the victim of a physical & emotionally toxic situation. Can he put his pride to one side & ask for help when it becomes more than he can deal with alone. Ash has never been a good father can he rectify that now & ask Jason/Bravo to see what's going on & help his son, or tempted by the past will he let him down again? BIG Clay whump hurt comfort
1. Chapter 1

**Ash Spenser new book.**

"God dammit! Oh yeah, that's just great. Thanks!" she frowns, glaring at the guy who has just knocked her drink all down the front of her top as he shoved past her. "Oh and a sorry would be good!" she calls out even though he's disappeared into the crowd.  
She sighs as she looks at the wet stain "Arrrghh! Thanks a lot, that's just what I needed."

She shakes her head and turns back to the bar  
"God, what an idiot." She stops the barman "Excuse me. Do you have a cloth behind there?"

He nods and hands her a white bar cloth which she uses to wipe the damp patch. She looks around again, still glaring in anger at the guy whose now over the other side of the bar  
"Can't believe he never even bothered to apologize" she sighs again, wiping at her top."Shit!"

She's so annoyed and she holds the material out to examine it more. Clay looks up from his book and smiles."It doesn't look too bad."

She frowns confused by his comment, but nods and smiles to acknowledge him"Sorry what?" 

"The stain, it doesn't look too bad from here. You can hardly notice it" He smiles again

"Oh right! Well thanks for that" she frowns, wondering if he's looking at the same, huge, wet mark that she can see.

"Can I get you another?" He smiles, gesturing towards her, now, empty glass.

"No, it's okay. I'll get my own, but thanks" she smiles back

"Please, let me prove that we're not all like that."

She hands the cloth back to the barman and takes a moment studying Clay. She watches him, sitting at the bar, reading his book. "I can see that" She smiles again, tilting her head looking at the cover on the book that he's reading. "Okay fine! I'll have a beer with you, thanks" she smiles at the barman then looks at Clay "Is it something good?"

"Sorry?" Clay frowns "What did you mean?"

"Your book. Is it something good? You seem engrossed."

"Oh umm...no, nothing special... "

"Oh my god! Is that Ash Spenser's new book?" Before he looks up, she's across from where she was standing, to the stool next to him. Flipping the cover so she can see it better "I didn't even know there was a new one yet."

"No! No, it's not. It's a preview copy"

"What? How the hell did you get that?" she frowns, even more interested in him "Thank you!" she smiles at the barman as he hands her the beer "Do you know him? I mean Ash Spenser" she questions.

Clay feels awkward, unsure how much to tell her "Yeah, kind of. He..."

"Oh my god! Did you read his first book?" she interrupts, even before he can answer her first question. Clay frowns by the fact that she seems genuinely excited by the book

"The last one was so intense as times. You could really feel the passion he had for his job. Oh, and some of the stuff he wrote about, well you just can't imagine what he went through. Well you can, because he writes it so well."

"Yeah, I guess" Clay frowns, but now he also smiles, genuinely confused by her excitement and he puts the book down to look at her. He's never heard anyone mention his Dads' book in this way before, and it surprises him.

"So, tell me, is the second one just as good?"

"It's okay, I suppose. If you like this kind of thing."

"How the hell did you get a copy before it's out on the shelves?"

"Um..." he awkwardly pulls the label off his beer trying to avoid the answer "He's...Ash, he's... he's my father." he says it quickly, trying to casually brush the fact off. Normally being associated to Ash Spenser, is not something he is proud to say.

"Oh my God! No Way! You're kidding me right? I am _such_ a huge fan!"

"No. No I'm not kidding" he sighs "Unfortunately he is my father,"

"Wow! That's so cool. You know ... " she takes a sip from her beer "..my brother was a Navy seal, well training to be one" she takes another sip of her beer

"Really?" he frowns "But he's not one now?"

"No!" she puts her head down "No. He-he never made it." 

Clay nods, slowly "It's tough. Not everyone does, Make it, I mean." he smiles sympathetically "You know,he shouldn't be ashamed though, getting on the course is an achievement, not many even manage that"

"No, um... when I say he didn't make it" she sighs "I mean... he died. There was an accident, at training, at BUDS." she sadly lets out a deep breath, drinking from her beer "Your um... father, he was Daniel's training officer" she smiles awkwardly

"Oh my god!" Clay takes a breath "I'm am so sorry. I didn't know."

She looks away, browsing around the bar, then her eyes stare back at Clay "You weren't to know. And honestly, I'm okay about it now. You know, it's in his first book, initially, that's why I read it. Ash describes, in the book, how he felt about what happened, and how it affected him." She looks at Clay as he stares at her listening then she smiles again "You know I was angry for a long time, blamed the Navy. But, your fathers book, and what he said, it helped me see that it affected everyone, and that they did care."

She sighs "He died doing what he wanted to do. I mean isn't that how we'd all like to go? Doing what makes us happy." she drinks from her beer and smiles again

He's watching her, studying her face. Taking in what she just said. He'd always been ashamed of his father writing a book, about his time in the Teams.  
It was something he'd had to live with every day of his training. The other guys, BRAVO included, saw it as a bad thing to have done. Something that you just didn't do. But what she's just said, has put a different perspective on it, making him think about it in a different way. "Can I get you another drink?"

"Yeah sure." She smiles "Why not, seeing as you're the son of a famous author."

"Well I'm not sure I'd say that, but, I'm sure my dad would agree with you" he laughs

They sit and talk through out the rest of the evening while playing pool and drinking shots but it's getting late when she looks at her watch

"I need to go. But this, it's been nice. Thank you"

"Can I see you again?" Clay blurts it out of the blue

"Um... " she smiles "Okay, I wasn't expecting that." she frowns "I don't know. I mean... I'm not sure if that's a good idea." 

His phone starts to bleep "Oh shit! Sorry, look..."he sighs "I gotta go!"

"Oh!...Of course! Stupid me." She laughs to herself "Why didn't I see it before. You're a SEAL as well aren't you?" She shakes her head " Look, it's been nice, this evening. I mean you're nice. But, I - I don't date seals. I'm sorry."

"What?" he frowns, questioning her "Oh, so just like that you say No! But I thought every girl in here wanted to date a seal?" he smiles, that charming and cute, sexy smile of his.

"Yeah well, I'm sorry, not this girl. I've been there, and done that, and I learned my lesson. I'm not doing it again."

Clay looks down at his phone as it bleeps again, He sighs, frustrated "Look please? I'll prove to you we're not all the same" 

She shakes her head,picks up her jacket from the chair, and kisses him on the cheek "I'm sorry, but it doesn't go anywhere. Even now .." she looks at his phone "that's how it is, It always comes first. The team I mean"

"Yeah!" he sighs "Yeah I guess it does. But that doesn't mean we can't have dinner,right?" He tilts his head on one side, and gives her another cute beaming smile

She closes her eyes to him and laughs at his attempt to charm her "But dinner leads to wanting other things. I know, I've been there too."

"No, I swear, just my heart" he puts his hands across his chest making her laugh.

"Okay, I'll tell you what. You get me a signed copy of Ash's new book, and I'll have dinner with you. Deal?"

He shakes his head thinking about her proposal "No, I tell you what. You have dinner with me first, then I'll get you a signed copy of my Dad's book"

She laughs "That's blackmail or something."

He shrugs " No, that's the deal"

She holds out for a moment and smiles at him. She wants to play harder to get but _he is just too damn cute_ to say no to, and mess up the opportunity  
"Okay, dinner. Just dinner, you have deal"

"Give me your number" he holds out his phone for her to enter the number into her contacts. Then he dials it. "Just checking you didn't give me a fake"

She smiles as her cell bleeps "So when do you want to go?"

"I'll give you a call when I get back, if that's okay?"

She nods "and... I guess, you have no idea when that will be, See ... "she sighs ".. this is why I don't date SEALS."

"But you're not dating me. We're just having dinner"

He cheekily smiles as she smiles in at him. Then he leans in and kisses her cheek, running his hand down her neck. She bites her lip, watching his eyes.  
There's a real feeling of electricity between them as he touches her, and she smiles "You better go."

He nods "Yeah I guess" he holds his phone up "But I have you're number now. I'll call you."

"Clay! You better call! "She smiles " I want my book!"

she laughs as she gives this look that's so flirty and cute and he laughs. He smiles as he backs away, but then before he leaves he heads back to her, and putting his hand on the back of her head, he pulls her forward. Putting his lips to hers, he kissing her properly this time "Sorry, but I couldn't help myself"

She looks away embarrassed "Just go." she looks away embarrassed "Hey, Clay!" She calls him. He frowns as he looks back at her. "Be careful out there!"

"Always am." He nods as he hurries to leave

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Bravo are on board the C17 flight to Yemen, and Clay is so happy, thinking about the date he has planned with the woman he met in the bar. He can't stop looking at her name in his cell contacts  
_"Ann Marie"_ he smiles

Sonny frowns, watching him "Hey Poster boy!" he calls across from the other side of the plane "What the hell are you smiling at?"

"Nothing!"

"Oh No! No, no, see that's not a nothing smile. That's a, _I got a woman on the go, _kinda smile. I can see it right there" he points to Clay's lips "Look, just there at the corners, says I have a woman. What you say Ray, do you see it? You Jace, you see that smile?"

Clay frowns at them "Sonny shut the hell up. " Clay frowns at them as they all stare at him "What?... It's nothing. Stop! Okay, it's dinner"

"Ohhhh! So I was right. There is a woman. Hell, it's about time! So, you get to first base yet?"

"No!" Clay frowns, annoyed by Sonny's comment "No not yet,its early days. I'm just taking her out for dinner."

"Dinner. But no first base. Well then this ones a keeper!" Jason laughs "Is she okay? I mean there's nothing wrong with her?"

"What?" Clay frowns. "What the hell are you talking about. No there's nothing wrong with her."

"Oh, come on. There must be something wrong with her? I mean, she wants to go on a date with you for one" Sonny laughs

"It's not a date. It's just dinner."

Sonny laughs "Since when do you just _'dinner'_ with women? Come on Clay, don't bullshit, what's wrong with her? She look like the back of a bus or something?"

"No, actually she looks great" he frowns, then laughs "Okay, maybe just one thing" he smiles "She's a fan of Ash's. She actually likes his book"

They all pull faces at each other, and Jason laughs "Wow! Perhaps we were right about her taste. Guess we'dbetter check her out make sure she hasn't got any other bad habits. I mean liking Ash's book thats grounds to dump her right there"

They're all laughing as Blackburn stands over them "I hate to break up the chit chat gentlemen .. but get ready. we infil in ten!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

They get back three days later, and as soon as Clay's out of the shower he's on his cell, drafting a text to Ann Marie.

In the down time on the mission he couldn't stop thinking about seeing her again, and as he hits send he hopes for a rapid reply. But he's disappointed. And as he gets dressed, he's still had nothing back. But then just as he pick his bag up, ready to leave, his cell pings.

Okay! So, where are you taking me?

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Outside the restaurant after the dinner, she smiles "Thank you. I had a really nice time, for a date with a SEAL"

"Oh! Oh, so, it's a date now? I thought it was just dinner. Is there a difference?"

"I didn't mean that" she laughs

"But you said you didn't_ date _team guys. Have you changed your mind?"

"I don't, as rule, date team guys" she smiles "but you, you're different to the other ones I've been out with."

Her smile give him a buzz "So you'll see me again?"

She runs her hand, teasingly, through her hair. Playing with the strands round her face "Depends. Maybe I will if ...If you get me my book."

"Oh, I'll get you your book!" he smiles 

She bites her lip "Then I'll see you again! " she smiles  
"Oh, and by the way, Clay... I don't just want an autograph. No, I want it to say 'to Ann Marie, love always. Ash Spenser' Oh, and two kisses " she laughs

"Are you kidding me?" he frowns " I'm not asking my Dad to do that!"

"Fine!" she shrugs "Then I guess, this is goodbye."

"Wait! Are you serious?" he frowns "You can't, I mean... "

"Oh, I can. They are my terms. Take it or leave it! It's up to you."

"That's blackmail!"

"Maybe!" she smiles "But we'll see if you're as good at negotiation, as you should be for a SEAL. The things I don't date!" She's flirting with him now and Clay can't stop looking at her.

Her smile and her beautiful blue her eyes. He's absolutely taken by her "Okay! I'll do it. I'll do whatever if it means I get to see you again" He smiles "I mean, he's gonna think I'm crazy. You know that, right?"

"That's not my problem" she leans in and kisses him fully on the lips.

She's soft and the kiss makes him tingle all over. In the next moment he has his hand on her waist, the other wrapped around her head, pulling her in. His lips are locked on hers, and she closes her eyes, as his mouth covers hers. He grips her waist pulling her towards him caressing her curves

She stops kissing, holding him back "Sorry, I need to go."

"Do you have to?" he frowns "You could um.. come back to mine?"

She shakes her head "No! No, that's not a good idea. Plus...you don't have my book yet!" she laughs

He stands watching her. Watching her eyes sparkle and shine. There's a passion, a tension about her that he really wants. He leans in to kiss her again, and again she responds. "Woah!" she sighs, pulling away, unwrapping herself from his grip. Teasingly biting her lip, her eyes flirting with him "Down boy! I need to go. I have to be up early tomorrow."

"Can I meet you, later, tomorrow?"

"Will you be here? I mean will you get spun up?"

"I hope so. I mean...I can't say for sure, but, but you know that." 

She closes her eyes and shakes her head "See this is why I don't do this." She sighs "It's too unpredictable. You can never make and plans"

"Hey!" he brushes her hair back from her shoulder "I'm sorry. But if I'm here, will you meet me?" he pushes her backwards till she's leaned against the wall, and he starts to kiss her again "Ann Marie, I really like you. I mean, really, really like you."

She laughs "No, you mean you wanna sleep with me? " she sighs "What? Have you got some sort of bet going with the guys?"

"No!" he frowns " No, I would never do that. I told you we're not all the same." He pauses for a moment "But I can't lie" he smiles "I do wanna sleep with you" he laughs "But for now, I'll settle for seeing you again."

She looks down and bites her lip, while she thinks "Okay,I give in. I'll meet you tomorrow. Now..." she kisses him "I really do have to go" She lets out a long sigh "Clay..." she stops and looks at him "I like you to." she smiles "Just so you know"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Clay's glad for a change that he doesn't get spun up and he meets up with her for a late lunch. 

"What?" he frowns as he notices her watching him

She smiles at him, as they sit on the grass, in the sun, eating from the picnic he made. "This-this is not what I expected from a Navy SEAL" She picks up one of the strawberries and puts it seductively in her mouth. Still smiling at him.

"I told ya... we're not all the same."

"I see that!" she sighs "So tell me, why are you a SEAL? I mean, you seem intelligent, you read books, speak languages. Not your typical macho bullshit, and you actually seem to care!" She runs her hand along his cheek, watching his eyes as he watches her.

He shrugs "Always something I wanted to do. Be the best I could."

"I see that. But there's always the danger, that you won't come back. I mean how do you make peace with that?"

He shrugs "It's just something you learn to live with. I can't change it. Not if wanna do this. So, that's the trade-off"

"I get it, I do. It's just .. it's hard to understand what makes someone wanna live their life like this. Put themselves in so much danger for others." She lets out a long sigh, as he continues to stare at her

"Hey, don't worry about it. It's okay. We, my team, keep each other safe We're a team and we look out for each other. I never feel safer than when I'm with BRAVO"

She nods "So ..." She changes the subject "..you speak to your dad, about my book yet?"

"Oh shit! You know, I totally forgot."

"Nope! No, I'm not buying that excuse" she pushes his hand away from the top of her thigh, where he was stroking "Uh uh! I'm not falling for that. You're not getting out of it this easy. You want me to put out, then you need to keep your end of the bargain, and get my book."

He laughs "Seriously?" he frowns at her, trying to put his hand back where it was on the top of her leg "You really still want that book? I can give you mine"

"No! Come on Clay. You promised me a signed copy. If you can't do it, then I'm sorry!" she again removes his hand "You're not getting!"

"Oh, come on you can't leave a guy like this!" he closes his eyes, taking a deep breath, trying to calm his frustrations. She smiles, as she puts her hand on the groin of his jeans, feeling the hard bulge, that's straining against the fabric

"Oh really, why's that?"

"Oh, Ann Marie come on! Geez! You can see how much I want you."

"Yeah!" she smiles teasing him " I can see that, but we had a deal. No book, then no sex"

He grabs her head and starts kissing her. She takes a deep breath, she's enjoying every moment. She can feel her own body getting turned on as he runs his hand up her thigh to the top of her panties. She pulls away from him looking around at the joggers, couples and families sitting around them, all engrossed in their own moments, enjoying the park

"Clay stop! Not here!"

"But you want this? You do. I can see it in your face." he smiles " You want me, as much as I want you."

She leans back supporting herself with her elbows and shrugs "Maybe!" she smiles "Maybe I do."

"So then what's stopping us? If we both want this." 

She holds him back with one hand "Because ... because I don't want you thinking I'm just one of those girls, who puts out just because you're a SEAL!"

He laughs "Hey, I would never think that about you. Anyway you'd have put out way before now if you were."

"Hey!" She punches him.

He pretends to roll, and play hurt "Ohhh... you're killing me now!"

She laughs. And as he lays back in the grass, she lays on top of him. And they start kissing him again until she feels a vibration from his pocket.  
"Oh Shit!" He rubs his head "Dammit! Sorry! " he sighs "It looks like I've gotta go. We're getting spun up. I am so sorry!"

"Yeah, well perhaps I've been saved, by the vibrate" she laughs "I mean it's a bit public here anyway."

He nods "Well we can find somewhere more private next time." He smiles "Come on, I'll drop you off before I go back to the base"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

"So Blondie,she put out yet?"

"Sonny really? You're asking him that?" Jason frowns

"Yeah Sonny, do you have to ask that?"

"Yeah sure I do! What? Clay, you're on the fourth date,yeah? I mean it's been ages. C'mon she gotta have put out by now?"

"For your information, it's the third date. And no, no she hasn't, not yet." 

"_NO!_ Oh man. That's gotta suck. I mean, how frustrating" He laughs

"Third date huh, and she's still not ..." Jason looks at him "Trent, Brock, hand it over boys!" he puts his hand out as both Trent and Brock get a twenty dollar note from their wallets "Thank you!" Jason smiles

"Oh, geez Clay! I was sure by the third!" Trent shakes his head disappointed.

"Yeah me too. That's twenty bucks you cost me now!" 

"Hey what? You're taking money on me getting laid? Oh geez, guys give me a break" he frowns "Sonny, what the hell did you bet?"

"Oh, I'm long gone. I thought she was second dater for sure!" Sonny laughs as Clay shakes his head 

"Hey Clay this is serious now. You gotta get working harder, cos I got my money riding on the fourth!" Jason smiles "So anyway, seriously, why's she holding out so long? This has got to be a record for you. You not making the right moves?"

"No. She um ..." he smiles embarrassed "Would you believe it if I said she wants a signed copy of my Dad's book first?!"

They all sit round and look at him "She wants _what?_" Sonny frowns "Geez Clay, where the hell do you find these women? I can't say I've ever had a woman hold out on me, for a book, before!"

"Are you serious?" Jason pulls a face a him

"Yeah I know its kind of a joke but... " he laughs "she's kinda holding me to it now!"

"So what's the problem? Just ask Ash for the damn book, and get laid."

"Yeah, it's just, well... the book, it's awkward" he sighs "And really I didn't wanna have anything to do with it. Let alone, actually, ask for a copy and him to sign it for her."

"Awkward? What do you mean awkward?" Jason frowns "What the hell's he written this time?"

"Trust me, you don't wanna know! But I do want you to know, that I had nothing to do with it. Nothing has come from me! I swear! Never, it never would. I would never."

Jason frowns more "You're worrying me now. Sounds like I should check this book out for myself"

Clay shakes his head " I don't know if that's such a good idea!" 

"Hey Clay, you know what my advice is" Sonny smiles " Get the book,get laid and you'll feel so much better"

He throws his towel at Sonny "Shut the hell up, Sonny!"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Clay swallows hard as Ash answers the phone "Hey Dad. Um..you wanna meet up? I mean shall I come over, bring a bottle of Merlot. You know, we could hang out, talk."

"Hey son. Yyou just get back from a spin up? You want some company?"

"Um... Yeah!"

"You really wanna come over?" Ash frowns. Part of him wonders what's going on as Clay never wants to talk "Yeah sure son, why not. Clay.." he frowns " can I ask what's brought this on? Oh, and did you finish my book?"

"Yeah I read it!"

"And? What did you think."

"What did I think?!" he sighs "Yeah, yeah it's interesting. Look Ash, I need talk about that book, cos I need a favor."

"Okay, sure. You know if there's something I can do, I will. Why don't we say later this evening?"

"Sure thing, I'll catch up with you then."

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Ash comes to the door in an apron "Clay, come in. You'll just have to give me minute, I have something in the like duck, right?"

"Yeah sure, though I just thought we were just having a drink?"

"Yeah, I- I just thought I'd cook something, new recipe I wanted to try, so thought why not try it on you." he smiles at his son, thinking how nice this is "Seeing as you're making the effort to come over. I mean we don't do this often enough"

"Sure, okay. Duck sounds good." 

Clay sits himself at the table and pours the wine, while Ash serves up dinner. There's an awkwardness about the whole thing. Clay sighs and drinks some of the wine as he eats

"So,what did you think to the book?"

"Yeah it was okay," He sighs "But did you have to mention about the operation in Saudi ? I mean, you know people are gonna think I gave you the intel on that"

"No, no one's gonna know it was you"

"But that's the point, it wasn't me!" Clay frowns annoyed by that statement "But Jason, he's gonna think it was. I mean, the way it reads, that's what he's gonna think."

Ash has mouth full of food "Mmm!...This duck is just right. Did you try it yet?"

"Don't change the subject. You know what people are gonna think."

"Look... " he sips his wine "who cares what Jason thinks? Just tell him it wasn't you."  
He puts his knife down and pours more wine in his glass "Sure, he's your Team leader, but he's gonna believe you Clay. Then that's the end of it. You give your word and he believes it. And... I'll never reveal my source anyway."

He sits looking at Clay and he frowns seeing the look of concern on his face "Look Clay, I know you must worry if it might affect your place in the team, but don't. Just deny it, they can't prove anything!" He takes another sip from his glass "Mmmm! Great choice of wine by the way!"

"Ash, there's something else I need you to do for me!" he frowns " Oh god this awkward" He sighs " Do you have a spare copy of the book?"

"Yeah, yeah sure. I have a box of proofs, from the publisher, before they go out. Why? You lost yours?" he frowns

"No!" he coughs "But... I'm seeing this girl, a woman, and she errr..." he laughs "she likes your book., I'm mean the first one. And well, things are not progressing as quickly as I'd like to, with her "  
He coughs again before he takes another large sip of wine " Oh my god, this is so awkward. I can't believe I'm talking to you about this" he continues "but she wants a signed copy of your book."

Ash laughs "Really? You met a girl with taste at last!" he smiles. "Yeah, well then sure son, no problem! Clay,this .. this is nice. Feels like we should have done this a long time ago"

"Don't push it! It's dinner, doesn't make up for all those missed ones."

**o-o-o-o-o-o**

They finish eating and Ash pushes his plate back, gets up. goes to the box on the dresser and takes a new book out. He grabs a sharpie pen and sits down in front of Clay, then drinks some more of the wine "You want me to open another bottle?"

"No, I'll get it!" Clay gets up and goes to the wine rack on the kitchen countertop and opens another bottle filling both glasses.

"So, this girl..." Ash call out from his study

"Woman!"

"_Woman_! "Ash smiles. "She's a fan of my books?"

"That's how we met." Clay sighs "I was at the bar reading, she saw it and said she'd read the first one, and we got talking"

"Okay! So she hot? This girl... sorry woman!" he quickly corrects his wording as Clay glares at him "Okay!" he puts his hands up " None of my business. I get it. So, what you want me to put?"

"She..." he laughs and drinks his wine ".. she wants you to put it _To Ann Marie, with love always, Ash Spenser _and two kisses" he flushes red in the cheeks with embarrassment.

"Oh right! That's a very specific message." he laughs as he starts writing then stops and frowns " Wait, what? Did you say Ann Marie?"

"Yeah!" Clay frowns "Oh yeah, I think you know her. Her brother was in one of your training teams, he died. You was his training officer. You know after your last tour when you were injured. She did mention that she'd spoken to you, at a book launch, and that your book helped her get over the loss"

"Wow! I didn't know that." Ash gulps, as he finishes writing " I only met her on a couple of occasions. So you... you been dating her long?" he frowns

"Not long, like I said things are not moving quite as fast as I would have liked by now!" He smiles "but she's worth waiting for, and hopefully, this... " he takes the book from Ash's hands " ...this is gonna change that!"

"Sounds a special kinda girl? Worth waiting for."

"Yeah, yeah I like her a lot. I mean I _really_ like her a lot"

"That's good. You know, it proves you're moving on from the injury and Stella. Maybe I should meet her, I mean if she's a fan. Give her a quick check over, see if she's good enough for my boy"

"Please dad don't! " Clay thinks "But yeah, yeah why not" his eyes light up "You know, bringing you along, it might just have the right effect on her.I mean a signed book is one thing, right, but having dinner with the writer. I mean that's gotta get me in her good books"

"Yeah! Yeah I'm sure that would provoke a reaction." Ash sighs

"Okay, well we're meeting in the bar tomorrow so, I'll let you know what we arrange." Clay smiles, thinking how excited she's going to be. "Okay, you gonna pour some more wine?" he frowns watching Ash as he sits there not moving "Hey Ash, you okay?"

Ash sits, quietly thinking "Yeah sure. Sorry, I was just thinking about something!" he smiles."Don't worry I'm fine."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Centre of Attention **

"Hey! What's he doin' here?" Sonny nods to Jason, pointing him in the direction of the entrance, as Ash Spenser walks into the bar

"Who knows?" Jason shrugs as he watches him go to the bar "Clay say anything about meeting him here?"

"Nope but then … " Sonny laughs " .. only thing Clay interested in right now…. is how to get his new little friend into bed" Jason laughs and nods in agreement as Sonny continues "Think she running him round in circles. He gonna be out of energy before he gets there at his rate"

"Hey Sonny, go easy on him man .. it's good that he moving on, getting over Stella and the injury… she seems to be a good distraction don't knock it brother!"

"Yeah .. Ray's right, be nicer to the kid .. he needs this right now!"

"Yes Sir, Ray sir!" he pretends to salute " would I do anything?...I'm leaving him alone as of right now!... Well as much as I can.. I mean depends what she looks like, right?" he laughs "…. Might be a tough call!"

Brock laughs as Ray throws the peanuts at him "Sonny, just shut the hell up!"

"So .. you reckon he'll bring her here? Let us check her over?"

"Nah .. I reckon he'll keep her well away" Brock shakes his head

"Not when you lot behave like kids he won't …I need another beer .. be right back!" Jason puts his empty bottle on the table

"Hey Jace man..while you're there I'll have another!"

"Yeah sure thing…. anyone else?" All hands go up in the air "Yeah thought so .. good one.. just remember next round is not mine!"

As Jason's orders the beers he watches Ash at the other side of the bar. He's so engrossed watching him he doesn't see Clay arrive with Ann Marie until they're stood beside him.

"Hey!" Clay nods to acknowledge Jason. He feels a little awkward he knows the guys are going to be checking Ann Marie out as this is the first time he has introduced them.

"Oh hey!.. so how you doin' ?"

"Hello" she smiles

"Well hello!" he's pleasantly surprised by the pretty blonde woman attached to Clay's arm "you must be Ann Marie?"

She nods and looks at Clay, tucking her hair back behind her ear covering her slight nervousness. Jason is a big presence in front of her, but she wants to appear confident to him. "Been talking about me has he?"

He shakes his head "Not much"

She nods "well that's good then!"

Jason feels awkward he has the beer in his hand looking her up and down. Clay looks at him "Oh sorry errm…. this is Jason"

"Oh, you're the team leader. Pleased to meet you." she nods

"see Clay's been filling you in?" he looks up at Clay and frowns as he sips his beer

"I'll let you get your drink, then why don't you come over. We're only sitting just there. "

Clay pauses unsure "errr .. you wanna go over?... hopefully they'll behave" he smiles as he looks at her

"Sure…" she smiles back " .. no reason not to, right?"

"No!...No if you fine, then I'm fine with it"

She nods "Good.. be nice to meet your friends. They obviously know about me?"

"we'll be over in a minute" he smiles apprehensively.

Jason leans in and whispers in his ear "Just a word of warning .. Ash is at the bar"

Clay looks up and round to the left of him where Jason indicates and sees his Dad sitting there with a beer. Seeing Clay, he puts his hand up  
"Okay thanks I see in him."

He feels awkward now cos he knows Jason has heard about the things in his latest book, and despite the times Clay said he wasn't him that gave the details of the mission, he still has some doubts as to whether Jason truly believes him.

Jason smiles, raising his eyebrows as Sonny looks at him as he sits back at the table

" Well. well … " Sonny smiles as he checks her over "..now we know why poster boy has been keeping _her_ under wraps .._ phewwwwweee!"_  
Sonny lets out a long whistle "He bringing her over?"  
Sonny chews his tooth pick, he keep glancing at Clay at the bar from under the brim his hat, eyeing her up, trying to make his mind up if she's right for Clay.

Ray also looks up from his phone " Look up, man… they're coming over"

They all straighten themselves up in their seats. Sonny takes his hat off brushes his hair back before replacing his cap and pulling it down tight.

"Hey!" Clay nods at them all

"Hey!" Sonny pretends like he didn't see them.

"this… is errm Ann Marie.. a _friend _of mine"

"A friend?" Sonny tries not to laugh as Clay describes her that way "well pleased to make your acquaintance lady friend of Clay's" he bites his lip as he tries to hide his amusement.

She smiles "pleased to meet you… at long last. It's nice to meet some of Clay's friends"

".. better introduce them then" he sighs "that's Sonny. You'll get use to him, we all do!" he frowns

"if she sticks around long enough!" Sonny laughs and Clay glares at him "hey I'm just joking .. he's not like that … I'll go get some beers in"

She frowns wondering what he means by that comment.

"This is Ray, Trent, Brock and … Jason you just met!.. look I'll give Sonny a hand with the beers"

She nods

Hey Ann Marie.. " Ray smiles "you wanna sit down?"

"I'm good thanks!" she feels a bit awkward to sit at the table with them.

As Clay and Sonny bring the beers back Ash heads to the table

"Hey, Dad".. Clay hands Ann Marie her beer "What you doing here?" he frowns at him

"Oh, I don't know…. can't I come and spend time with my favorite son?"

Clay frowns "Yeah sure but… I thought we were gonna meet for dinner later this week?"

"yeah… we can still do that .. just .. fancied a drink with ya….plus wanted to meet this new lady of yours"

Clay's not sure what Ash is playing at and acts cautious with him "I thought you and Ann Marie knew each other?"

Ash shakes his head "Ann Marie.. have we met?"

"Yeah.." she nods watching him " .. at your first book launch?... you remember me?"

"Oh, sorry… I don't recall .. You know it's hard to keep track…so many fans faces …they tend to blur into one. But now I look, maybe I do sort of remember you"

She grits her teeth and smiles through her annoyance "You don't remember .. my brother features in your book.. the accident with green team?… you were his training officer"

Sonny looks up and frowns, then back at Ray who's now listening more interested

"Ah! …yes", he clicks his fingers ".. of course, now I remember …. we had a chat …" he looks at Clay and smiles "I took a bit of artistic license with the characters story. Ann Marie thought it was her brother I was writing about .. it's good how sometimes visualizing a fictional scenario you can imagine it as your own…. it can help with the grief process, from what I'm told"

She frowns and gives him a hard stare, her frown lines giving away her annoyance.  
"Really?" sighs "I don't recall you saying that about _artistic license_ ..in fact … you said It was about your feelings on the accident.. that what you wrote ..was the truth about how you felt"

"Well .." he smiles at her ".. when you're grieving it can be hard to rationalise what people are actually saying, without putting extra meaning on it….. I know I felt for you. And … well.. I didn't wanna make your feelings seem insignificant .. I mean I don't wanna upset you .. I could see how much meaning you put behind my words .. so, if it helped then I'm glad"

She nods "Really?" the frown on her face says she doesn't understand what he's now saying and why is he lying.  
"really… I don't remember thinking that's how you saw it .. must have been my mistake. I thought we had an understanding about the accident?" she sighs annoyed "but… like you say.. I was grieving for my brother, maybe I did get it wrong?"  
She looks at Clay, he can see the look of disappointment and upset in her face "If you'll excuse me, I need the bathroom"

Clay feels a vibe of tension building between them "Ann Marie, shall I get you another drink ?"

"Yeah … whatever!" she's annoyed and from the tone in her answer Clay can tell it.

As he watches her head to the ladies bathroom he stares at Ash "Why the hell did you have to say it like that?"

"Say it like what?...like the truth?... I didn't want her getting the wrong idea! .. that's all.. she was grieving .. maybe I .. didn't explain it fully at the time.. maybe now she'll understand?"

" she thought you honestly wrote about her brother .. you could've just ..I don't know.. lied a bit!"

Clay sighs why does his father have to be so damned annoying  
"Look why don't you just go.… it's …" he looks round at the guys, who are all pretending to look at their phones, and not listening to Clay's spat with his Dad  
"…. its awkward you being here.. this new book of yours .. I mean I've told Jason numerous times it wasn't me who told you about the mission but I'm not sure he really believes me, and now you've upset Ann Marie.. maybe it would be best if you leave"

"Hey look son.. I'm sorry …that probably came out wrong with Ann Marie .. I'll apologise if you want? But the book .. Jason .. don't worry about it .. he can't prove anything"

Clay hushes his voice more as he spits out his words through his gritted teeth "It's not about proving anything .. _arrghh!_ You just don't get it .. It wasn't me…" he takes a breath "look…. Just go!"

"Clay… come on!.… Don't let it be like this between us.. . Jason's fine with it … I'm sure he hasn't even read it"

Jason comes back to the table to pick up his beer. He glares at Ash "Oh I've read it! Don't worry." He nods at Clay as he heads back to the bar.

"See!... Geez" Clay's frustrated and annoyed he turns his back on Ash as he drinks his beer.

Sonny stares hard at Ash from under his cap. He makes his feelings known without saying a word. Then he puts his feet on the only spare chair, making it clear to Ash that he's not welcome. He leans back and smiles, chewing at his toothpick, his whole demeanour telling Ash that, in Sonny's opinion, he's getting what he deserves.

Ash drinks his beer but doesn't move, just gives Sonny a disapproving look in return, which only serves to further annoy Sonny.

Trent and Brock nod and manage a half smile each at him.

Rays the only one who acknowledges him by speaking, just trying to be polite for Clay's sake "Ash how you doing?"

"Good!.. thanks for asking Ray!"

Clay turns and rolling his eyes at Ray as he shakes his head. Once again it feels like his father has let him down.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Jason looks round the bar as he comes back to the table, leaving Clay at the bar ordering drinks.

He sips from his beer and feels like he should say something, but it comes hard to get the words out without his dislike showing "What the hell you doing here Ash!... don't you have another book to be making up or something" he can't resist the dig

"No! .. No, I'm done on that for now… thanks" Ash smiles a disapproving, but annoying smile in reply

Jason drinks his beer, he feels after the little showdown with Clay and his father that he'll have to suck up the feelings he has up for now. He doesn't want to further inflame the situation

"Look …" he turns to round checking Clay's still at the bar as he leans closer speaking more quietly "Why don't you go home. .. you know how it is .. if you can't be nice to his friends then better not to say anything don't you think?"

Ash smiles uncomfortably "His friends?" he sighs "yeah .. well I think he could pick better friends than her!"

"Hey .. I don't know what your beef is with Clay… but he's happy at the moment .. so we're gonna be encouraging that" he raises his eyebrows checking if Ash gets the message "Look Ash, he needs this" he nods towards the bar where Clay now has his arm round Ann Marie giving her kisses, trying to smooth over the upset his dad has caused  
"She's making him happy… after the injury… that's all I need to see.. so, I wouldn't want you go messing that up .. we understand each other?"

Ash laughs " you know your macho bullshit threats .. they don't work on me! I know you're nothing special.. and you fuck up in your team like the rest of us.. so, don't be telling me.. how to be around my son.. you know nothing about this!"

Jason takes a breath. He would like to punch him out right there. Sonny looks up watching them, he's ready if Jason does start to grab him, mainly because he wants to be the one to punch Ash out .

Clay and Ann Marie come back to the table. She frowns at Ash

" So, Ann Marie's your girlfriend then? … its serious" Ash asks while Clay continues to glare at him

"Well… I'm not sure girlfriend, yet" she smiles at Clay "but we're good friends"

"Friends .. that friends with benefits" he laughs

Clay's angry and turns on him and Jason see's it "was that called for?.. what's your problem?"

"Right that's enough!" Jason pushes Ash away "why the hell don't you go take your sorry ass back to the bar"

"Jason it's fine, I'll deal with him"

Ash smiles "No, he's right son .. I'll go have a beer at the bar"

"Geez what's that guys problem?" Sonny shakes his head "What can't he stand for you to be happy or sumthin'?...You want me to sort him .. just say the word and I will!"

"No Sonny, .. No, its fine .. you know what he's like .. when he's not centre of attention .. just leave him. You'll only give him what he wants"

"Hey Ann Marie, you come take a seat here, next to me. I'll tell you some stories about Clay!"

"Okay" she smiles

Clay closes his eyes and laughs "Not sure that's such a good idea?... Don't be believing anything he says!"

"Well the girl needs warning … especially if she gonna be seeing you again!"

They all laugh as she sits down

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Jason stands by himself as he watches Ash at the bar. He sees him keep looking back towards the table, towards Clay and Ann Marie

Something in Jason's gut tell him that Ash has a problem with something but what he doesn't know what.

Lisa arrives at the table.

"Davis!" Sonny stands up "Have my seat .. I was just going to get some beers. You want one?"

"Yeah sure" she laughs as he takes Sonny's from his hand "I'll finish this till you get back" he shakes his head smiling at her 

Clay sees Ann Marie frown "oh by the way ...Ann Marie this is Lisa"

"Oh .." she smiles " ..you have girl on your team.. I mean I thought that was no girls?"

"No girls are in the Navy too!" Lisa smiles at her

"Yeah I know that" she's annoyed thinking that Lisa is making fun of her " but .. I didn't think they were allowed with… you know .. specialist teams" she shrugs

Clay looks awkwardly round at Jason who frowns wondering just what Clay's been saying to her

"Yeah well they've got me!" Lisa picks up one of the other beers that Sonny brings over and starts to drink it "Lucky they do, hey Clay! The number of things he loses on a deployment " she winks

"But like relationships … in teams… it's not allowed right?" Ann Marie is asking this seriously

Lisa gulps "No! .. that's against the rules.. you're right.. it's not allowed!" she looks awkwardly to Sonny

"Suppose it's for good reasons I mean … just would be hard having a relationship with someone in a team?" she looks at Clay and smiles, as she drinks some of her beer

"I don't know I never had the issue arise!" he pushes her hair back off her shoulder and kisses her

"Please!... Clay put her down!" Brock laughs

"Yeah you two need to get a room!" Sonny calls out from the bar "get rid of some of that frustration .. hey Clay"

"Frustration?" she frowns at him

"No.. ignore him.. he's just messing with ya…trying to wind me up!"

"Oh right .. I mean .. I wondered if you'd been talking about us with them?" she lowers her voice "that we haven't… you know"

"NO!... God no!"

"Good! … cos that's private .. between us .. I mean what we do .. I wouldn't like to think they make fun of it,of me .. because I haven'... you know yet"

"No!.. Hey, come on … don't worry about them .. we're fine.. I'll wait you know that .. no pressure" he kisses her again "doesn't mean I don't want to though" he smiles he can see she's still upset

"I just don't like to think people are making fun of me.. that's all!"

"They're not. They like you!" he smiles

She smiles back "I'm glad .. cos .." she looks round and whispers in his ear "cos I like you .. a lot"

He's kissing her in the neck, then he feels something hitting him on his back. As he turns around he sees Sonny throwing peanuts at him

"for god sake Clay" he laughs "put her down"

o-o-o-o-o-o

"Hey Ann Marie, you play pool?" Sonny asks trying to distract the atmosphere Ash has created

"A little"

"Come play with Sonny, I'll show you how to beat Clay .. cos he got this action that's .. well you don't wanna know!"

"Sure, why not" she smiles and leans in and kisses Clay again as they look up they see Ash watching them from where he's now positioned himself at the bar

"Hey about my dad… "

"Shhhh!" She frowns "Don't worry"

"No,….just ignore him . okay .. he's an ass….. he wants to be centre of attention.. hates it when he's not .. so, don't let him worry you, okay?"

She nods "okay!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

They're all chatting. Lisa and Sonny are now playing pool and Ann Marie watches them as she stands by herself drinking her beer

"Hey, you okay?.. You've gone a bit quiet" Clay frowns worried

"Yeah sure… just.. you know the stuff you're talking about.. it's not really stuff I know anything about so… guessing I'm feeling a bit left out"

"Yeah sorry.. I didn't think" he kisses her "You wanna go?"

"No .. no, I'm fine we'll stay a bit longer .. they're your friends .. I wanna get to know them" she sips from the bottle in her hand "So errm .. Lisa.. you and her get on?"

"Yeah!... yeah she' great … really good in the team. We thought we were gonna lose her after OCS.… officer candidate school, but they found a role for her. So, she got to stay with BRAVO"

"She's pretty and I guess she must be pretty sporty? .. into the same things you are?.. she seems kinda flirty with ya .. you never been tempted?"

"With Lisa?" he frowns "No! no way .. no nothing like that. We're friends .. we work together, she takes care of the team.. more like a sister!"

"Oh, just all those long days away .. must get lonely you know.. for company?"

"No ..when I'm with the team that's all I want…don't have time to think about relationships"

She looks down

"Oh, I didn't mean I don't' think about _you_ when I'm away just, .. that it's so busy the time goes .." he's annoyed with himself he doesn't seem to be able to say anything right "look shall I get us another drink?"

"Yeah be good" she smiles and hands him her empty bottle

She stands on her own looking around while Clay's at the bar. The others are all playing pool

"Ann Marie"

She turns around "Ash" she nods to acknowledge him "Why are you still here?"

He drinks from his beer , he's had a few now "Came to check out Clay's new girlfriend"

"Really…. and?"

"And …..and I don't think she's good enough for my son"

"Really that's shame .. cos she thinks your son is great!"

"What you playing at Ann Marie?"

"Why do I have to be paying at anything .. you're the one playing games.. what you said earlier .. that hurt .. after all the things we talked about"

"Hey!.. here's your beer" Clay hands her the bottle then wraps his arms round her from behind "Everything okay here?"

"Yeah everything's fine… your dad was just apologising for the earlier misunderstanding… he's going to the bar, wanted to know if we wanted another drink I said we were fine"

"Yeah … like she said we're fine"

"Good. That's great I'll just get myself a drink then"

She closes her eyes and sighs as she stands the bottle down "You know I'm gonna head off.. I've got an early start again .. I'll leave you to be with your friends .. you can talk more while I'm not here"

"No!... let me take you back"

"Uhmm! .. look I'm tired. I'm not really up for that tonight, sorry"

"Hey, I said I'd wait…there's no pressure. I'll just take you home, that's all .. Okay?"

"Okay!" she nods and smiles

"Come on"

"Don't you wanna say goodbye?" she smiles at him

"No, it's fine"

She sighs and looks over at Ash at the bar, then picks up her bag and jacket before they leave

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Jason watches as they go, then turns his attention back to Ash as he sits drinking at the bar. He frowns watching him down the whiskey shots, it makes Jason wonder what his problem is

"Hey man you okay?" Ray frowns seeing the look on Jason's face

"Yeah!.. Yeah, I'm fine...Just gonna get another beer. You want one?"

"No, I'm heading off too.. see the kids before bed"

"Sure, thing Ray"

"Hey Jace .. you know that Ash is a pain the ass, right .. just ignore him .. for what it's worth I don't think Clay told him about that mission"

"No .. I hope you're right Ray!"

Ray frowns watching him he's worried about Jason "I'll catch you tomorrow!"

Jason nods not really listening, he's lost in his head thinking about Clay and Ash

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

He leans on to the bar next to Ash. He says nothing but there's a tension, an atmosphere, a vibe between them. They both feel it. A mutual dislike of each other but a respect also. A respect that comes between men that have served on the teams.

"Beer"

The barman nods to acknowledge his order "Here… I'll get that. Make it another double whiskey and a beer" Ash looks over as Jason nods his thanks

"You know you need to go easy on Clay.. about my book".

"Really?... I need to go easy .. after the stunt you just pulled with his girlfriend?.. the way you spoke to her .. You know you upset him, right?" he laughs " and you're telling me to go easy?.. You're some piece of work Ash"

Ash drinks his whiskey "You're his team leader Jason.. he respects you"

"Yeah well hellva lot more than he does you, that's for sure"

"Yeah .. you're probably right. I deserve that"

Jason stares at him. There's a look he hasn't seen in Ash before. Its one of crisis, of contemplation, of worry.  
"What's your problem?... I mean with him .. I mean you made it obvious you didn't like her .. so, what's that about? .. You don't want him to be happy? or what?"

"I just think.. he needs some time . .. get his head together after the injury .. not rush into anything…. He hardly knows her" he looks up watching Jason watching him "Come on Jason, you know him he falls hard and fast about everything. He cares too quickly .. I just think...maybe he could do better"

"Do better .. did you look at her? I mean .. I looked at her .. and if I was Clay's age .. hell, I'd be in there like a shot if she gave me the slightest hint…. Hell, even at my age I might be tempted" he laughs. "So that's not the problem "

"Yeah well shouldn't judge all books by their covers …" he stops the barman "...another whiskey when you're ready"

"What the hell's that suppose to mean?"

"I just think Clay doesn't know her very well .. I mean yeah she's pretty enough but… who knows what she's like, inside I mean. He just doesn't need any more hurt. Can she handle him being in the teams? I mean that's his first love… how's she gonna cope with that …Stella couldn't"

"I guess she'll find out .. if she can't, she can't .. I mean as we know that's nothing new.. somethin' he'll just have to get use to"

He watches Ash as he knocks back the whiskey. He puts his hand up to the bar man "another!"

"You know you wanna go easy… You're hitting it pretty hard there. Something on your mind?"

He shakes his head

"You know Ash if there's something I should know.. something that affects Clay.. I'd rather you tell me .. I don't need his head getting mixed up with stuff"

Jason keeps watching him as he takes a large drink from the whiskey

"There is something .. this about that girl?" he frowns

Ash sighs and nods "Yeah! .. yeah there is" he stares as the amber liquid in his glass, shaking it around the sides "I do know her.. we did talk, like she said" he rubs his head "but I don't think she's interested in Clay… I think this is ...about payback!"

"Payback?" Jason frowns. Now he's more worried "Payback for what exactly?"

Ash bites his lip but doesn't answer

"Ash is this to do with her brother, something to do with you and his accident?" He frowns "What the hell happened? I mean I know what they said but was there something more to it?"

Ash shakes his head "No .. No, it's not about that, well not entirely"

"What the hell then? … Ash you better start talking?"

He closes his eyes wondering if he should have even started this conversation. Whether he's right opening up his fears to Jason.

"Look.. you gotta understand .. when you do these book tours and you're on TV… there's these fans they see you as famous .. they follow you around. They brings gifts, ask for autographs .. it's kinda nice .. all the attention .. then some of them .. some offer a bit more .. and even though you say no and you know that you're a little old for them .. they still offer it."

He looks up at Jason who's frowning at him ".. and some of these women well they're ... pretty hot, it gets hard to keep saying no. So you buy them a drink and they hang on your every word"

"So what? You saying you like being famous?"

"Yeah kind of …... it's kinda good for the ego, reminds me what it felt like when I was in the teams, if you know what I mean" he drinks his whiskey "then suddenly after a few drinks .. before you know it … they're in your bed"

"Wait .. what?...What the hell are you talking about?"  
Jason watches him wondering how many whiskey's he's drunk and if he's actually making any sense.

"So, this is an ego thing?... cos she was a fan of your book you think she's trying to get with your son. What cos he's got a famous dad?" Jason frown deepens he can't see the logic in Ash's statement.  
Then his face drops " Oh my god!... No!...No that's not what your 're saying is it! Oh god!… you slept with Ann Marie didn't you?"

Ash sighs and closes his eyes as he nods "Like I said these things happen … they get out of control… then before you know it, it's not just a one-night thing"

Jason looks at him with a look of disgust now. "Geez Ash… she's half your age! What the hell were you thinking?"

"Yeah!..Yeah I know but like I said it's kinda flattering.. Hell, I didn't know her and Clay was gonna get together .. it was months ago .. she kept coming to my book tours to talk about her brother, then she started hanging out at the TV studios, then my hotels .. I offered her a drink one night and we talked about the book. Then next night she turned up at my room…" he laughs as he finishes the whiskey "she was only wearing a coat and her underwear… a girl like that looking at guy like me .. tell me honestly would you say no?"

"Yeah but you could have!"

"Yeah… and should have done and if I knew what I know now I would have done!"

Jason sighs "But it's over with you and her, yeah?"

"Yeah!... yeah … well.."

"Well what?.. Ash please tell me it's over!.. cos Clay can't find out about this!"

He sighs "Thing with Ann Marie .. she's crazy! .. I'm mean like. Jealous, irrational, stalker crazy!"

Jason laughs "yeah right…. fatal attraction type is she?"

"Jason I'm serious.. I was close to getting a restraining order against her."

Jason frowns "What? .. you serious?"

"When I was seeing her...I took my publisher to lunch. She followed us and attacked her in the restaurant.. she followed me everywhere after I told her it was over"

"So, you slept with her then finished it and she went a little crazy … sounds like some women I know!"

"No, she went more than a little crazy!"

He lifts his t shirt and shows Jason a 6-inch scar across his chest. "she did that with a broken wine bottle after I ended it"

"Jesus!... So, what… what're you saying?"

"I'm saying … I think Clay could be in trouble.. Jason, she's dangerous"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Clay's not going to know about this **

"Mmmm! Morning" Clay's laid behind her in the bed. He brushes her hair to the side and kisses her neck "You awake?"

"Mmm!...Hey" she yawns "What time is it?"

"0600"

"What? Are you serious, 6am? .. Oh god! Why are you awake already?"

He smiles watching her laying there with her eyes shut.

She smiles "Stop watching me!" She pulls his arm round her side and pushes herself back into his chest, snuggling in tight against him.

"Did you sleep alright?"

"Yeah!..Great! Look… I'm sorry I fell asleep. I was just so tired after we got back… too many beers, I'm not use to it, I guess"

"Hey… don't worry. The fact that you came back and stayed.. it was nice, and .. well it's still early . so, we could ..you know" he kisses her neck again

She smiles "Let's just stay like this for a bit. It's nice" she holds his hand and kisses it.

"Yeah it is" he sighs holding her tighter

**BLEEP*** BLEEP**

He turns over to pick up his phone and laughs

She opens her eyes "What's so funny?"

"Oh nothing .. just.. Stella. She just text me something about a book I sent her .. don't worry .. it was a joke between us"

She turns over to look at him "Stella?" she frowns "Your ex Stella .. she's texting you at 6am?"

"yeah she probably got up early for a run or laying in bed reading, something like that"

"Let me see… the text let me see it?"

"Why?" he frowns

"I just wanna see what she put… did she put something I shouldn't see?"

"No, no of course not.. sure, you can see" he hands her his phone

"You don't think it's strange your ex is texting you?"

"No" he laughs "we're still friends now… she texts me every now and again about things"

"Really?... and you're okay about that?.. I mean when you split up you kinda move on .. don't you? Put that relationship behind you?"

"I suppose .. but.. I didn't think about really"

"So, what does she text you?... I mean the other times"

"Nothing really just stuff she finds funny.. see if I'm okay… see if I got back safe from a spin up.. stuff like that.. nothing serious"

"She know about me?"

"Yeah ..yeah I did tell her about you"

She looks at the text again.. So, what did you tell her about me?"

"Just that I'd met someone .. someone I liked!" he smiles as he brush the strands of hair off her face "Someone that's nice, sexy and beautiful"

She smiles "You really tell her that?"

"No .. but it's true…. Look forget about Stella" he takes his phone back "Concentrate on me instead .. What I want" he smiles as he puts his hand down under the quilt between her legs

She smiles "_Mmmm!_... Clay! .. I .. Oh god!..… _Mmmmm_! Stop!" she puts her hand on his

"Come on. You know you want to, right?"

"Maybe?" she turns to face him and kisses him

***Bleep***Bleep**

She closes her eyes and frowns "hmmm!...Seems Stella has different ideas!" she pushes his hand away

He looks at his phone "No! … not Stella. Work.. look sorry I gotta go!"

She sighs and bites her lip and kisses him again "Oh that's a shame.. I was just thinking about… you know.. What I was gonna do to you!"

He closes his eyes "Oh man talk about bad timing" he kisses her rolling her on her back " I know I gotta go but….. we could be quick?"

"No! ..No!...I'm serious Clay… I'm doing quick anything ..if we're doing it, it's gonna be perfect with plenty of time" she leans forward and kisses him.

He smiles and kisses her "Look.." he sighs "I'm gonna jump in the shower … you sleep. Stay as long as you like.. make yourself at home"

"At home? In this man cave?..._hmmm_!" she raises her eyes

"Hey...you know what you could bring some girl bits? Make it less of a man cave while I'm gone.. if you want?"

"You know how long that will be?"

"No .. sorry you know I can't tell you that.. I don't know myself.. look I have to go, I'm sorry"

She nods "I know. I'm gonna miss you"

"I'll be back as soon as I can .. promise!" he kisses her one more time before he heads to the shower

"Just go!" she leans on her front in the bed staring at him.

He comes back out to get his T Shirt "So what you gonna do while I'm gone?"

"I've got a couple of things to do .. don't worry about me, I'll find some things to keep me amused"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

3 days later. BRAVO have still not returned

"I'll have a cappuccino to take out .. oh, and a couple of those lemon and raspberry muffins" she smiles and turns to the woman next to her at the counter and smiles "My boyfriend really likes them"

The women's nods to acknowledge her

"'I'm hoping he'll be home today .. He's a Navy Seal.. he's errm... away at the moment"

The woman beside her nods "You know I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to tell people that" she smiles

"Sorry?"

"About… them being away. .. What they do it's kind of a No, no"

"Really?... I didn't know that ..How do you know that?"

"just .. through a friend" she smiles

"Well my boyfriend shares everything with me .. and I'm sure _you_ won't tell anyone, will you?….Sorry, I didn't catch your name?"

The woman beside her gives a slightly confused frown "Stella

"Well Stella… I'm sure I can trust you to keep a confidence right" she smiles at her

"Right…yeah sure, whatever" Stella frowns again she's not sure why this conversation even started

"Well nice to meet you Stella, bye"

"Okay.. errm... Bye!" she turns back to the counter "Yeah an espresso and two of those lemon muffins"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Ann Marie sits on the wall by the shop waiting "Oh.. Hey Stella!"

"Yeah" she turns to be faced with the pretty blonde from the coffee shop "Oh Hey! again" Stella frowns "Can I do something for you?"

"You know .. you seem like a nice person so.. I thought I'd keep it friendly, for now. Please don't take it personally as I have nothing against you, but I want you to stop texting Clay!"

Ann Marie stands and stares at her "I mean you don't need to contact him…he doesn't need to hear from you, he's moved on now." She smiles at her " You split for a reason.. so, please just stay away…. Permanently! You understand? He's with me now!"

"Okay err mm….You're Ann Marie, right?"

"That's right ….Oh! I know he's told you about me but that's as far as it goes now! Your little text the other morning…. they don't happen anymore"

She bites her lip watching her as they stare at each other "You know it's hard enough in a new relationship, let alone one where you have to compete with members of his team for his attention, so the last thing I need is his _EX _sticking her nose in." she's up in Stella's face now " I don't need the competition" she smiles "So, anyway, we had this conversation .. and now it's done!"

Stella laughs "Are you threatening me?"

"Mmmm!" Ann Marie laughs "Threat? ..Hmmm! That's such a nasty word .. so many possibilities to its meaning. I'm just asking you nicely, for now, to leave Clay alone"

"Don't you think Clay can choose his own friends?"

"Yes, yes he can .. but he's man .. and they can get distracted .. I don't want that to happen with me and Clay .. the only person he needs to concentrate on, is me!" She smiles

Stella nods "Fine.. if Clay asks me to stop texting, I will"

Ann Marie's face drops "No see.. Clay doesn't want anything, because Clay's not going to know about this. This is me telling you what's going to happen"

She grabs Stella's hair and pulls it "You contact Clay in anyway .. and I'll come back" she lets go and smiles "by the way… those lemon muffins really are divine .. I see why Clay likes them so much. Oh! enjoy your coffee"

Stella takes a deep breath. "Geez!" she looks around not sure what to do .. her heart is racing. She thinks about texting or calling Clay about what just happened, but she thinks better of it, for now.

_"Phewwww!"_ She takes a breath before heading back to her car.  
When she gets there, she sees the front tyre has been slashed. She looks around to find no one there "Oh my god!" she rubs her head wondering what just happened

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Ann Marie is busy cleaning at Clay's apartment when she looks up at the sound of knocking at the door.

"Just a moment!" she opens the door

"Hey.. oh!... its you" she frowns "Ash! .. What can I do for you?"

"Is Clay here?"

"No.. Clay's .. away with work"

"He's been spun up?"

"Yeah….. look what do you want Ash? I haven't got time for this .. I'm apartment cleaning in case he comes back today"

"Wow!.. I can see that… You've certainly .. changed it?"

"Yeah! Well it needed a few home comforts … You think he'll like it?"

"mmm! Maybe?... Look.. I'll come back when he gets back"

"You can come in .. if you want.. I won't bite"

He stares at her "No I'm good thanks!"

She smiles "I promise, I'll be nice!"

He nods "Ann Marie, what are you up to with Clay?"

"Up to? Nothing…. I like Clay .. he likes me. That's all. Why would I be up to anything?"

"Because I know you … and there's always something behind what you do .. just out of the blue, you happen to meet Clay? My son!"

"Ash.. what are you saying?" she frowns "That I found out where he was and .. some how made him ask me out?... Cos you know that sounds like a crazy thing!" She smiles

"Ann Marie, whatever you're planning.. it needs to stop.. before Clay gets hurt"

She smiles "Before Clay gets hurt? So, no thought about me then? .. as per usual. So, what sob story did you tell everyone after I left you? .. Something how I went a little crazy when _you_ ended it? or did you go for the truth?...You used me for sex and make your ego feel good then tried to dump me when you'd had enough .. when you wanted to move on? Hmmm?...What did you tell everyone Ash?" She sighs and shakes her head

"Look.. I'm gonna go .. I can see I'm just upsetting you .. that's not my intention"

"No! No, you don't you don't just come here and tell me how its gonna be!" she stares at him as he stands there watching her. She's angry now.

Then she softens and put's her hand to his cheek "Ash…. I loved you! But you hurt me when you finished it.. I thought we were gonna be forever"

"Ann Marie don't. We talked about this"

"No! You talked, but you didn't listen to me!"

"I'm going. Okay! I'll catch Clay later"

"Don't you just walk out on me!... Please .. Ash! Don't go!" she pulls him back, holding his face looking him the eyes "Don't go! I'm sorry" she leans in and attempts to kiss him

For a moment, just a fleeting moment, he nearly responds. Then he thinks better of it and pushes her back "Ann Marie you're sleeping with my son.. nothing is going to happen between us"

"But I'm not… I mean we haven't! ... Ash, if there's still a chance for us.. then tell me"

He watches her " No!.. there's no chance for us ..Do you realise what you did before?.. your behaviour"

"My behaviour?!... You were the one…. Oh my god!.. you're still blaming me for what happened? Not that you drove me to it, seeing that woman?"

"Ann Marie, people don't behave the way you did!…. Look .. stop seeing Clay. He doesn't' need this .. he's just getting over an injury that could have cost him his place on the team. He needs to get his head back into that .. anyway, I know you, you'll never cope with him being in the teams"

"I will!.. and if he can't be in the teams if something happens .. I'll be here for him this time"

"If something happens?.. if what happens?"

"If he gets injured or something .. something means he can't be a SEAL then it doesn't matter"

"It matters .. it matters to Clay .. being SEAL .. it's all he's ever wanted to do!"

"Well if there's no hope for us.. then I'm not finishing it with Clay… Do what you want Ash .. but I promise you .. you make trouble for me.. you'll regret it! .. Now you better go in case Clay comes home"

"Please just think about what I said"

"Goodbye Ash"

Ash stands outside the apartment door rubbing his chin "Shit!... Hmmm! What the hell am I going to do!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

BRAVO are back

"Hey, you coming for beers?" Sonny nods towards Clay as he's gathering his bag

"Oh!...I better get back .. Ann Marie's waiting. I haven't seen her in nearly five days"

"Bring her!" Jason looks at him "Call her, tell her to meet us…. oh, come on Clay … that was a shit mission we need to unwind"

"Okay!... I'll call her see what she says"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

She arrives at the bar

"Hey" she smiles awkwardly as he kisses her " I thought you were going to come home first.. I had a surprise for you"

"Surprise?"

"Yeah…" she smiles ".. I kinda did a makeover on the apartment … gave it a bit more a homely feel and I made a special casserole"

Sonny sniggers into his beer trying not to laugh

"Really?.. that's great!" Clay smiles as he also frowns at Sonny

"I moved a few of my things in .. I hope you don't mind?"

"No.. no, I told you to make yourself at home"

"I didn't think you'd mind" she smiles "Do you wanna get me a beer? I'm just going to the ladies' room" she kisses him "I missed you"

He smiles "I missed you to!.. I'll get you a beer"

"So… she moved somethings in?.. That's all moving very fast.. I thought you hadn't even got to first base yet."

"Shhh!...Alright I told you that in confidence .. don't let her hear you .. she hates me talking about her to people"

"Sure… .. but do you need to move so fast? Moving things in, what's the hurry? I mean you hardly know her.. just give it some time"

"Yeah! .. Yeah I will. I guess I did let it move a little fast telling her to do that"

Jason nods "yeah .. no hurry right, I mean for all you know she could be a crazy stalker, right?" he laughs "Get to know her a bit first"

Clay nods. He smiles as she comes back taking her beer from him she frowns wondering what they're talking about.

"Everything okay?" she frowns at Clay

"Sure" Jason smiles

"Why do I get the impression there's something I'm missing"

"No just guys talking it's all good!"

They're all playing pool

"Shall I get some more drinks?" Davis looks at Sonny "Yeah get a tray of shots!"

"Hey..Clay! You want something?"

"Yeah I'll have a beer .. Ann Marie you want something?"

"No, I'm good thanks"

"Oh, Clay ...you can pay up that bet we had now!"

"I still say that was too close to call"

"Just pay up" Lisa smiles at him as he opens his wallet and hands her 20 dollars

"What's that?" Ann Marie frowns as she watches them unsure "What's going on?"

"Oh, it's nothing " he laughs "Just a bet about the mission …Lisa won or so she says" he playfully pushes her "but I think she cheated"

"Cheated? Never!" She laughs "No…No!... I told you I never knew" she laughs again playfully pushing him back

"Yeah! Yeah sure.. I bet it was in his file before we left"

"Hey kids .. " Sonny shouts over " just pay up Clay or you know you gonna end up with wet socks next spin up!"

They all laugh as Clay and Lisa play fight

Ann Marie frowns watching them "I thought you were going for the drinks?" she snaps at Lisa

"Yeah..yeah sure" the tone she uses make her stop. Sonny looks up from the pool table as Lisa raises her eyebrows to him "Beers and shots then?" she smiles back at Clay and nods "Be right back.. Oh, thanks for this !" she waves his twenty dollar note and laughs

Ann Marie kisses Clay and holds him. "You know I think I will get a drink"

"You want me to go?"

"No …it's okay, I'm good. I'll go"

"Hey! Lisa... I'll have another beer to go with that too… changed my mind" she smiles

"Oh…errm sure.. another beer please" she nods to the barman

"So, hey! .. You and Clay .. you get on well? I mean you seem to... all that stuff over there"

"Yeah!" Lisa smiles. She's kind of puzzled by Ann Marie's comment

"You ever thought about something more?..you know than just teammates?"

"No! no never" Lisa's frown deepens but she laughs at the thought

Ann Marie turns back and smiles at Clay, but she now frowns as she spots Ash headed towards him. She frowns watching him wondering "_What's he doing here?_ …So .. just friends then?" she continues questioning Lisa

"Yeah .. yeah that's all it can be"

"But … you'd like there to be more.. if you could.. if you say you could get away with it"

Lisa leans in looking her deep in the face "No!.. No that wasn't what I meant … Sorry is there a problem here?"

Ann Marie shrugs "I don't know .. I mean you say you can't but.. well personally to me.. you seem a little…. flirty with him .. like I don't know ..you hoping for something more?"

Lisa's really confused by this line of questioning "No! .. I told you .. I don't look at Clay like that.. he's more like a brother"

"Why? What you saying you don't find him attractive?"

"No .errr… What is this?... of course, I do .. he is attractive .. but I just .. there's nothing between me and Clay"

She sighs "Well let's make sure it stays that way.. I wouldn't want anyone getting into trouble. You know relationships in your situation… not allowed… you'd lose your job .. if there was even a hint"

"So, what are you trying to say?" Lisa gulps she's worried wondering if maybe she's guessed about her and Sonny or why she's saying this stuff about Clay

"This my beer? .. I'll take one for Clay as well .. you know my boyfriend!" she smiles and walks away

"Wow!" Lisa lets out a long sigh as she frowns confused "_What the hell was that about?"_

She shakes her head and looks over to Sonny.  
He frowns watching her. The look on her face says there's something wrong "You okay?" he mouths to her.

She shrugs as she looks over at Ann Marie and Clay together still wondering what the conversation was about. She sighs and picks up the other drinks wondering if it was just a misunderstanding.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

She hands Clay his beer "Ash" she smiles seeing him standing there with a drink in his hand "Clay is there something wrong?"

Clay smiles "No! he's just asking me for dinner later this week.. way of apology for the other day… I said I'll check our plans first"

"Yeah sure" she frowns as she watches Ash wondering what he playing at

Everyone stands awkwardly round not really saying anything

"So…. what did he think to the apartment…? Your changes?"

She bites her lip "He hasn't seen it, he hasn't been home yet .. but I think he'll approve" she smiles and kisses Clay "well I hope you will?"

"I'm sure it will be fine" Clay frowns "Anyway how do you know, about the apartment?"

"Oh, didn't he mention it? .. Your dad came around earlier .. I forgot to tell you .. you were still away"

"You want something specific?" he frowns at Ash

"No!" Ash smiles awkwardly " just.. gonna ask you about a father and Son catch up later in the week"

"Oh, come on Ash… be honest .. tell Clay why you really came"

"errm.. I … well " he stutters not knowing what to say

"Oh, he wanted to make sure I wanted to be with you. That I could handle you being in the Teams .. He said if I couldn't I should stop seeing you now. That he thought it was best!... oh and I get the impression that he didn't think you would approve to the things I did to the apartment .. but hey .. if you don't you don't. And if you want me to leave.. like your Dad says .. then … just tell me. I don't wanna hurt you Clay, but your dad thinks I will"

she looks at Ash then at Clay "Look I'm gonna go .. perhaps it's best if I do get my stuff from your apartment?"

"Hey, No, no you're not … and _YOU!_.. You stay out of my business.. What the hell gives you the right to go there while I'm away and say stuff like that?"

"Clay .. I didn't…I …"

Ann Marie smiles at him "You didn't' what Ash?.. ask me if I can handle what Clay does?.. God I don't believe you! Why are you doing this?.. Don't you want Clay to be happy? … This is just like before .. twisting what I said"  
she wipes a tear off her cheek "I don't know why you're being like this to me.." she bites her lip "Is it because I knocked you back when you made a pass at me after your book tour?"

"What?.. What the hell? I didn't make a pass at you!... Why are you even saying this?" he gulps and looks at Clay then frowns at her shaking his head "Son… don't listen to her"

"What?" Clay looks confused trying to understand what's going on  
"Wait .. you made a pass at her?... Oh my god! I get it now .. your ego got knocked.. I see … you tried it on, and she knocked you back .. Oh!..oh you're some piece of work" he pushes Ash "Just get the hell out of here!"

"Clay!.. Clay come on.. she's lying.. Clay ...you know me ..don't believe her!"

"You're right .. I do know you! Just go .. get away from us"

Jason puts his beer down and steps between them. Putting his hand on Clay's puffed up chest holding him back  
"Hey! Blondie .. calm down" he turns to Ash as Clay pushes against him " Ash… just go.. I'll handle this!.. I said go!"

Sonny puts the pool cue down and comes over "There a problem here?" he sees Ann Marie now crying

"No, my dad's just leaving" Clay pulls her in and puts his arms round for comfort as he can see how upset she is

"Clay maybe we should just go?" she sniffs "Please?"

"Yeah sure.. I don't wanna be around him anyway!"

"Clay!" Ash tries to get his attention, but he just ignores him as he picks his jacket up and leaves

Ash turns to Jason "You need to put an end to that.. for Clay's sake. You're his team leader, he'll listen to you"

"What the hell you want me to do Ash?" he frowns at him angrily  
"You want me to tell him he's gonna have to dump the girl he's happy with .. because his Dad slept with her? Huh?.. is that what you want?... Cos that's not happening"  
He sighs trying to calm his anger "If there's somethin' going on there I'll deal with it, but my way" he stares Ash hard in the face "but if I find this is some shit you're stirring because she bruised your ego then be warned I'll be coming for ya'! You get me!"

"Oh, I get you Jason.. but I'm not lying.. I told you .. Clay's gonna get hurt! But hey…" he smirks sarcastically, he's well aware what Jason thinks of him "..what do I know! Right!" he smiles and shrugs his shoulders then walks away to the bar.

Sonny's standing beside Jason now. Seeing him and Ash deep in conversation he thought he might be needed to step in. Hell, in some ways he hoped he'd have to step in, that he might need to give Ash what he deserves.  
Sonny watches Jason, the blank, thoughts elsewhere look in his face "You alright there Jace?" he frowns trying to get Jason's full attention "So, you gonna tell me what the hell that was all about?"

Jason sighs "I'm not sure" he looks at Ash watching him as Ash orders a double whiskey at the bar

Sonny keep staring at Jason. "There something going on with you Spenser senior?... Some problem need fixing?"

"No!" Jason grinds his teeth together

"Well sure as hell looks like there is?.. You care to share?.." his worried frown from Jason's avoidance of answers gets deeper "This something to do with Clay?"

"I don't know, Sonny" he sighs " Just he said something and.. I can't put my finger on it but… something's not right"

"Hell Jason, if he told me it was raining I'd have to go outside and check.. I wouldn't believe nothin' he's tellin' ya! You know what he's like spoilin' for attention" He's still frowning as he watches Jason he can see him back deep in thought.

"I'm not so sure Sonny."

"Why?.. You think there somethin' we should be worried about?...Look, Clay don't need no more trouble, right! If there's somethin' we should know"

Jason takes a deep breath "Let's just keep an eye on it Sonny .. for now. Clay's happy .. I don't want to be spoiling that over nothing.. not till we know what's going on"

"Okay.. but I'm tellin' ya Jason.. if it's him causing trouble .. I get first swing at him"

"Yeah Sonny, I hear ya!"

Jason picks his beer up and heads to the bar.

Lisa comes over she frowns at Sonny "What the hell's going on? Is everything okay?"

Sonny frowns " I hope so Lisa. I hope so."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Clay and Ann Marie arrive back at his apartment. She's been quiet most of the way back and Clay's been thinking over what his dad said.

He puts the key in lock door but before he opens it she steps between him and the wooden door

"Clay I'm sorry .. I should have told you before about your Dad, not just come out with it like that .. I didn't think he'd be this much of a problem. I thought he'd just be happy for you….guess he's jealous maybe?"

Clay smiles "Don't worry about him. He's always been an ass" he opens the door and stands there "Oh!...WOW!" he frowns at all the pillows, pictures and plants "Well, errrm… you certainly made it more homely"

She puts her hand to her mouth and starts to cry "You hate it!"

"Hey!.. Hey, it's fine. No!.. It's great….just…It's great!" he smiles at her and kisses her "It's perfect!"

"You like it? Really?" she drops her head leaning her head against this chest running her hands over the muscles on his arms "I'm so annoyed .. Ash doing that .. embarrassing me in front of everyone. You don't need that in front of your team"

"Hey just ignore him … the team know what he's like. You don't need to be embarrassed it's not your fault"

"Oh, shit!" she pushes him back and she wipes her nose on her hand "The casserole I made! Oh No! I forgot to turn it off"

She goes to the oven and takes out the dish and she can see the dried up mess in the bottom

"Oh shit!" she puts it down on the side and rubs her head "I thought you were coming straight back…when you text earlier… I didn't know you were going drinking .. now it's ruined. Oh god!"

she sighs as she stands looking at the contents then lets out another long sigh "I should have turned it off when I left! Damn ..if you'd just come back instead of going to the bar it would have been alright!"

"Hey .. Hey, it's okay. It's my fault. Don't worry I'll order a takeout"

"NO! I made this…. I wanted it to be nice .. so, we could have a nice evening. You know to…make it perfect" she gives a longer, more angrily annoyed, frustrated sigh now that her plans have been spoiled

He puts his hand on her shoulders and rubs them "Hey come on...really, it's okay!"

"No! No, it's not!" with a sudden movement, of some force, that even takes Clay by surprise, she knocks his hand away from her shoulder. As she does she catches him across the side of his face.

"Oww!... Shit!" He holds his face

She quickly turns around to apologise "Oh my god!.. Clay!... I'm so sorry.. that was an accident I never meant…" she holds his face "Clay I'm sorry! You okay?" she closes her eyes "I didn't mean that!"

Seeing the anxious look in her eyes he puts his hand to her cheek "Hey.. it's okay, its nothing .. don't worry .. I've had much worse!"

"Oh god there's a mark.. Clay.. I'm sorry.. just everything. This isn't how I wanted it to be when you got back" she sighs "Ash just got to me." she sighs again "Clay…" she smiles then kisses him "I'm sorry. Does it hurt? Let me get some ice"

"No..I'm fine" he smiles brushing her hair back

"Are you sure?" She smiles "Does it hurt?" she puts her hand to it then kisses his cheek "Here?" she smiles watching him then kisses his other cheek "or maybe here?" then she kisses his lips "or… maybe here?"

"Mmm …maybe that hurts a bit" he smiles and kisses her more taking hold of her and wrapping himself round her.

He's full on kissing her now "So.. you wanna ….go somewhere more comfortable?"

She smiles "Why not! .. we've got time now I ruined dinner"

He unbuttons her blouse and unzips her skirt and drops it to the floor. Then pulls his T-Shirt over his head

"Clay…"

"Shhh!" he kisses her again running his hands over her sides. Pressing himself against her "You are gorgeous. I don't care about dinner. I don't care about Ash. I just care about you" he watches her standing there in her black lace underwear

She laughs as he picks her up sitting her on the worktop as he leans in kissing her, running his hands over her. She smiles as he carries on kissing her, then wraps her legs round him. He lifts her with east and carries her to the bedroom.  
Laying her back on the bed she watches him as he takes his pants off and wriggles her out of her panties. She undoes her bra and takes it off.

Clay smiles before he finally does what he's been holding out for and takes her as she lays there on his bed

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Mmmm! Morning" he presses tight against her naked body under the covers

"Hey you! Morning" she runs her hand through his curls and on to his face. Stopping at the mark which is now a red bruise "You okay? She smiles at him

He leans in and kisses her "I'm fine!" he puts his hand on her hand that's on his face "It's fine"

I have to go to work .. but.. we'll pick up where we left off later"

She smiles "Okay! Don't be late.. I'll be waiting"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

He texts her later that day to tell her they are being spun up again

She texts back

"Really. So soon?... you only just got back a day or two " she sighs as she sends it "Do you have to go"

"Yeah sorry.. can't talk now going to briefing.. I'll see you when I get back. XXX"

"XXX"

"Damn!.. Oh! God!" She throws the cup she had in her hand in the sink  
"Arrrghhhh!" She takes a deep breath as she stares out of the window. Then turns to the TV. She watches the repeat again of Ash talking about his new book she stands and winds it back again, watching it over and over.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

**3 days later**

BRAVO are back from the spin up

Clay's in his cage sorting his clothes. He can't wait to get back and see Ann Marie

"Someone looks happy" Sonny chews his gum watching him smile to himself

"Sonny you not got something better to do than watch me?"

"Hell, yeah but .. winding you up is more fun!"

Blackburn puts his head in the door and looks at them both. Seeing the look on his face they both frown

"Clay you need to come! Now"

"What .. What is it?"

"It's Ash.." Eric looks at Sonny then at Clay "He's in hospital!"

"Hospital? Is he alright?"

"Yeah but …" Blackburn pauses "... he's been stabbed"

"What the .. " Sonny frowns "Stabbed? Stabbed by who?"

"The information I was given… he was involved in a street robbery… as he left the TV studio. I can't tell you more than that. He's in General, you need to get down there!"

"What the hell!" Clay looks at Sonny he's lost the color from his face. As much as his dad is an ass he never would wish this on him

Sonny looks at him worried "I'll come with ya"

Clay nods and gathers his belongings "Thanks" he looks at Blackburn who nods


	4. Chapter 4

Ch**apter 4****: I better check in **

Clay sighs as he sits in the chair beside Ash's bed, watching him sleep. He rubs his head, as the tiredness of the mission starts to catch up with him.

"Here!" Sonny hands him a coffee "It's wet and it's warm is about all you can say!" as he hands the plastic machine cup over "How's he doin?"

"Yeah, they said he gonna be okay" he sighs "He was lucky, it missed anything major. Hit him from the back and caught his shoulder .. The pain reliefs making him sleep"

Sonny nods "any idea what the hell happened?"

"No, not till he wakes up. The police said it happened in the parking garage as he came out of the elevator from the studios … caught him off guard. They think it was an attempted robbery but.. got spooked, didn't get a chance to take anything before they ran away .. they checking if any cctv now!"

"Mmmm!..." Ash groans as he comes around

"Hey! … You awake?... Ash" Clay frowns and calls him again "Dad.. you hear me?"

"Yeah! .. _awww!_" he grimaces in pain "Where the hell am I?" he rubs his head "What happened?"

"You're at the hospital.. you remember what happened?"

He shakes his head frowning "Vaguely. I don't know exactly. Just felt something from behind, then went down"

"It's okay don't worry about it now .. the police are checking the surveillance cameras" Clay looks at his phone as it vibrates in his hand.  
He sighs "Ann Marie again, I need to go tell her what happened. She'll be wondering where I am"

Ash frowns as he looks at his son "What happened to your eye?"

"Oh .. something on spin up I guess. It's nothing …. I'll be right back ..just need to make this call"

Jason comes to the doorway "Everything alright?" he nods at Clay as he's about to leave the room "Sonny let me know what was going on"

"Yeah! .. look I just need to make a call!" he looks back at his Dad then at Jason "I'll be right back"

"Sure. Clay... he'll be okay, you know that!"

"Yeah ...I'm sure he will" Clay feels awkward he spent so long hating on his Dad but now laying here in a hospital bed, he's not sure how he feels. He knows he was worried when Blackburn told him what happened and that takes him by surprise. His phone rings again  
"Look sorry Jason, I need to take this!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

He connects the call from Ann Marie "Hey…look I'm sorry!"

"Where the hell have you been?" she snaps down the phone before he has a chance to explain anything "I've been calling and texting and you've not answered"

"I'm at the hospital"

She pauses a moment her annoyance subsides and changes to a feeling of worry "Oh my god, Clay!... Are you alright?.. What's happened? Did you get hurt..at work?... Do you need me to come?"

"Hey, slow down .. No! You don't need to come.. its not me .. it's .. it's Ash… He got stabbed!"

"Stabbed? What do you mean stabbed?.. What the hell…How? .. " She sighs shocked and takes a moment "Is he gonna be alright?"

"Yeah! Someone attacked him when he left the studio today ... I'm still here.. I don't know how long I'll be .. I'm gonna try and speak to the police, see what they can tell me" 

"Sure…. ermm .. Do you want me to come? I mean to be with you"

"No!...There' no point.. look I'll .. be back later. Don't wait up"

"Okay… well if you want me just call. Clay.. I…I hope he's gonna be alright"

"Yeah they said he's going to be fine ..Look, I call you later" 

He sighs and heads back to the room to find the police there speaking with Ash "Do we know what happened?" Clay frowns as he stands in the doorway 

"Sorry, you are?" the police officer wrinkles his head as she stops his questioning of Ash and looks up from the bed towards Clay. 

"Clay!.. Clay Spenser" he pauses a moment "his son"

"Oh, right! Well .. the err mm.. surveillance cameras don't give us much to go on .. All we got was a hooded figure in black. Catches him as he comes out of the garage elevator"

"So, you think it's a robbery?" Clay frowns

"Yeah most likely .. probably got disturbed and ran off without taking anything. We checking local cams, see if we can pick them up"

"So, you don't think anything to do with him being on TV or his book then?"

The officer frowns looking back at Ash who's shaking his head  
"It's a possibility, we can look into to but my guess just a random .. Could have been anyone not specifically targeting Mr Spenser, unless you can think of anyone you've had a problem or argument with lately?"

Ash shakes his head as looks at Clay "No! No one I can think of"

"You were a Navy seal right?...Oh ... I read your first book.. it was good" The officer smiles as he looks at Clay. He smiles back and rolls his eyes "There nothing in your book that would cause a grievance with someone?"

Jason now sighs and looks away

"No! .. No, it's all above board…_ Awwww!"_ Ash moves in the bed, he's in a lot of discomfort as the painkillers start to wear off "Look, could we do this another time ... I don't really have anything else to say … I didn't see anything that would help and really could do with some rest now"

"Yeah …Yeah sure! We got all we need for now .. think of anything else, then just let us know. I'll leave my card with my number" he hands it to Clay "I'll be in touch if we get anything to go on"

Clay nods "Thanks"

Jason moves out of the doorway to allow him to leave

Clay looks at Jason then back at Ash "Look we'll head off .. let you rest.. You want anything you give me a call"

"Yeah sure.. Hey son, you okay? I mean everything with you and Ann Marie, it's alright now?"

Clay frowns wondering why his dad's asking "Yeah! Yeah it's great. She's great!" he smiles "Look…. I know you gave her hard time but you need to give her another chance ..You need to get to know her, properly"

"Yeah sure son…. You're right!" Ash moves again grimacing with the pain in his shoulder "You think you can ask the nurse for some more pain killers as I'd like to get some rest now"

"Yeah sure … I'll catch up tomorrow!"

Sonny gets up and heads to the door with Clay as does Jason

"Hey Jason, errm... could I have a word, before you go?"

"Yeah sure" He frowns wondering why the hell Ash wants to speak with him. He looks at Sonny and Clay who are both frowning as well.

"Everything okay?" Clay wonders what his Dad could want to speak to Jason about

"Yeah fine son, just a word about my book that's all. Don't worry!"

Jason frowns "It's fine ... I'll catch up with you at the bar"

As they walk down the corridor Clay looks back "What's going on there?" he frowns looking to Sonny for answers

Sonny shrugs. He knows nothing more than Clay  
"Who knows! He'll tell us if we need to know, I'm sure. Come on let's go get a beer. He can catch us up there"

Clay looks at his phone and the texts from Ann Marie asking what's going on again

"I think I should get back"

Sonny shakes his head and smiles "Hey, what are you Man or a Seal?"

Clay laughs "Yeah well one beer can't hurt I suppose and I did say I'd be late"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"So…." Jason frowns at Ash "..What's this about?"

"You keeping an eye on him?"

Jason's puzzled and he watches Ash face trying to search for his why all the sudden concern

"Who Clay?" he frowns as he answers "Should I be?"

"Yeah!...Yeah you need to!"  
He pauses thinking hard about the route he's going down. About opening up with his worries to Jason, someone he doesn't like and who doesn't like him, but he knows he's close to Clay, not only as his Team leader but his friend, and though he hates to admit it, a better father figure than him.

"Did you see that mark on his face? ...Looks like someone hit him"

"Errm..I don't know… " Jason frowns again "..can't say I took too much notice... Something from the spin up, I guess… " he shrugs "I don't know I didn't ask. We all get knocks from time to time that no one notices" 

"You sure about that? That it was from the spin up?"

"What the hell is this?...You blaming me for a mark on Clay?... You know I can't keep an eye on him night and day for every little mark he gets!"

"No, but did you ask him how he did it?"

"Ash what the hell are you getting at?" he frowns as Ash stares harder at him "Geez Ash!... If you forgot, he's a Seal .. bumps and scrapes go with the territory!"

"Yeah well that's how she starts… little bumps and marks"

Jason frowns, he's thinking but he's confused by the conversation "You've lost me now!... What the hell are you talking about?...She starts?"

"Did she do it? That mark on his face.. you need to ask him" 

"Jesus Ash, is that morphine making you crazy?...You mean Ann Marie, did Ann Marie do it?... Christ, have you seen the size of her? .. I think Clay can handle it. .. He's trained for a lot worse!" Jason laughs, shaking his head

As Ash sighs his infuriation with Jason not listening is now obvious.

Seeing the look that he gives him Jason's not sure if to be puzzled or laugh "You're serious .. you think she hit him?" Jason laughs again "Oh!..Okay ,so maybe they had a fight .. it happens!... but it's none of my damn business .. or yours! .. You got other things to be worrying about by the looks of you laid there!"

Jason shakes his head he laughs again at the thought of Ann Marie hitting Clay  
"Look if you want . .. I'll keep an eye on him but if he can't handle a five-foot six blonde then the next Jihadi we meet, they really don't need to worry!"

Ash doesn't stop glaring at Jason who lets out a longer sigh "Look… I'll get him to swing by tomorrow. You can ask him how it happened, perhaps he can put your mind at rest that he's safe!" Jason rolls his eyes as he heads to the doorway.

Ash calls him back before he can leave "Jason!" he hesitates for a moment before he speaks "She did this!"

Jason stops and turns "What?" he frowns "What the hell are you talking about?.. She did what?"

"This to me.. stabbed me, I mean"

Jason laughs "What the hell Ash!...Have you lost your mind?" he watches him as Ash stares at him, his face blank and composed "You're actually serious?... You really think she did it don't you?... Did you see her?"

"No!" he takes a deep intake of breath, as he grimaces again with the pain "No! I didn't actually see her .. she caught me from behind…but I know it was her"

"But you don't know.. not for sure!"

"No!" he pauses, he has to concede that he doesn't know, not for sure and he sure as hell doesn't have proof  
"No, not for sure, but I know it was!"

"So what?...You want me to ask Clay if she hit him… based on you having some warped thinking that she stabbed you?" he sighs "Ash do you know what you sound like?"  
He thinks for a moment watching Ash who looks deadly serious "So say it was her." He shakes his head "Why?... Why would she do this? What does she get out of it?"

Ash pauses before he answers "I don't know. That's Ann Marie only she knows what goes on in her head" he looks at Jason, he can tell he doesn't believe him  
"Look, Jason … I spoke to her while you were on spin up!.. I … I think she was offering to get back with me, leave Clay.. if I'd take her back." 

Jason rubs his head the tiredness he feels is overwhelming him now and nothing that's being said makes sense

"Alright!….That's it!" he laughs "I've heard enough now!" he looks angrily at Ash weighing him up. Remembering what an ass he is and that what he just said proves it  
" I'm going now… before _you _say something you can't take back... This is all about ego... Just admit it Ash, she dumped you and moved on to Clay and you don't like it. I gotta agree it's not ideal ..but it is what it is, and you need to keep your mouth shut. He's happy right now.. and hopefully it'll blow over on its own "

"No!.. Not it's not it!….Jason, I'm serious. I'm worried about Clay!" he studies the look on Jason's face "look I know what you think and Okay you don't believe me .. then ask her. Ask her where she was, see what she says!"

"No!... No, I'm not getting involved in your game. If you're so sure it was her .. then tell the police.. let them speak to her"

"I can't do that. Come on Jason!" he frowns "What and have Clay never speak to me again?.. She'd twist it.. No! No, it has to come from you .. you have to make him see what she's like"

Jason bides his time watching Ash "No! I'm not buying it… what I see is someone who got knocked back acting jealous over Clay being happy" 

"Jason, open your eyes .. before it's too late, otherwise he's gonna get hurt... I know her.. trust me I know what she does. I know Clay won't ask for help, but believe me he won't be able to deal with her on his own"

"Yeah you might right .. about him getting hurt, but it's you gonna be hurting him if this nonsense gets out!" Jason rubs his head again " Get some rest and think carefully about what you're saying… cos I'm not listening anymore!"

Ash pushes his head back against his pillows and lets out a long sigh as he closes his eyes

Jason walks out the door and stops for a moment in the corridor, looking back at Ash lying in the bed.  
He's angry but also confused. Confused at to why Ash would be doing this. Could someone really be that jealous of their son's happiness, an ego so big you would say things, accuse things like this. Jason doesn't know but something in his gut says something is not right.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Jason gets back to the bar and Clay comes straight over

"So, what was that all about?...With Ash ..at the hospital. What did he say to you?"

"Oh nothing, just.. wanting me to keep an extra eye on you .. in case this was anything more than an attempted robbery .. I told him you could handle yourself. He was just worried" 

Clay nods "Wow! He's worried about me?... that must be a first!... You know I can't believe this happened. I mean they must have caught him off guard to get him like that"

"Yeah.. I guess these things happen .. you read about it all the time" 

Clay looks at his phone again "Oh, look I need to call Ann Marie again. She's called about five times since I left the hospital. I better check in"

"Yeah she'll have you down the aisle soon or under lock and key" Sonny laughs. He shakes his head "I'll get some more beers while we wait"

o-o-o-o-o-o

"Hey.. it's me .. You okay? .. I got your messages"

"Where the Hell are you?... I called the hospital they said you left over an hour ago!"

"Oh, ermm …yeah. We decided to go for a beer..look I'll be back soon"

"Oh GREAT! You went for a beer but didn't bother to tell me! What am I Clay… an idiot? ...Did you even think about me sitting here worrying?"

"Sorry .. I .. didn't think you'd mind.. you knew I was gonna be late"

"Yeah late at the hospital not drinking beer with your friends! I haven't seen you in 2 days.. don't you think you could just come home when I asked"

"Hey! .. I didn't think I'm sorry .. I won't be long" 

"So, you're still gonna stay? Despite what I just said.. fine! Well I'm going home .. I'm not staying here on my own if you're not bothered about me!" She sighs trying to calm how angry she is "I told you …..this is why I don't date Seals … it's always like this. Unpredictable! The _team_ always comes first not me.. you can forget it Clay…. you do what you want!" 

"Ann Marie, please .. just listen" he looks at the screen on his cell as it goes blank "Oh shit!" he sighs "Great! She hung up" 

"Whats that?" Jason frowns as he hands him a beer

"Ann Marie she hung up" he shakes his head "I should have gone back when I left the hospital, she's right I didn't think! _Arrrghhh!_... Stupid!"  
his

"Hey, don't worry she'll come around .. you know what women are like!" Sonny puts the rest of the beers on the table

"No, I'll take a rain check on the beer .. I'm gonna see if I can catch her before she leaves…. Sorry! I'll speak to you tomorrow!"

"Clay! … wait!" Jason shakes his head as he watches him head off

"She got him on a damn short leash there!" Sonny stands at Jason's shoulder and laughs as he sips from his beer 

"Yeah .." Jason frowns not worried more concerned "Yeah she has!"

Sonny frowns watching him "Somethin'.. I should know?"

"No. No it's fine"

"Ahhh!...He's young Jace, he'll learn!" Sonny slaps Jason on the back " you want a tequila with that?"

"Yeah .. yeah why not"  
Jason stares at the exit as he sees Clay leave through the door

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Clay unlocks the door to find Ann Marie still putting her clothes and makeup in her bag. She glares at him as he comes to the bedroom doorway

"I'm sorry. Okay? .. Please ...please don't go.. stay"

"No Clay .. I don't need this .. you didn't put me first now, then how's it going to be when we've been dating longer?"  
She sighs "Look ...this, us,... is headed nowhere .. Your dad is causing trouble for us, your team don't like me and you're still getting texts off your ex! I can't see a future for us like this!"

She continues throwing things in her bag "You know I liked you so much.. I thought maybe.. like you said, you were different, but I guess not!"

"Please. Please don't do this .. don't go! Not like this. Let's talk"

His phone rings and he sighs as he looks at it. He answers reluctantly

"Hey.." he gulps "…...Yeah, yeah. He's okay"

Ann Marie can hear his side of the conversation but she's wondering who's on the other end

" .. on the news?" He frowns "Yeah. That's fine…No. I'm sure he'd be glad to see you"

Ann Marie frowns more she can't work out who's talking to him but she knows it must be about Ash. 

"Look" he stutters in the conversation he can see Ann Marie frowning "I've gotta go.. I'm in the middle of something .. I'll speak to you later"

"So, who was that?"

He gulps "Just someone asking about Ash.. said they'd seen it on the news, about him getting stabbed"

"Who?.. Who was it asking?"

"Just a friend that knows him" he swallows hard he doesn't want to lie but he doesn't want to say right at this moment not while things are the way they are 

"Who was it?" she frowns watching him, studying the awkward look on his face "Oh!" she laughs "Let me guess .. Stella ? Oh my god .. I don't believe you!" she continues throwing her underwear in the bag 

"Look… she just wanted to know how Ash was, she'd seen it on the news. She was worried"

"But did you have to answer?" she stares hard at him she can feel a rage inside her building up watching him acting like he doesn't know what he did "_Argggghh_! You know what….."

She angrily throws the perfume bottle she has in her hand. It just misses Clay but as it shatters and splinters against the wall a small shard catches his cheek and it starts to bleed.

"Ahh Shit!" He puts his hand to it as he looks round at the broken bottle

She stops and stares at what she just did "Clay!... I'm Sorry .. Oh my god! I'm so sorry!... I didn't mean to do that." she lets out a long sigh " I shouldn't have done that!"  
She puts the back of her hand to her mouth, standing there watching him as as he wipes the blood from the cut 

"It's okay... It was an accident. I know you didn't mean it!"

She gulps and frowns "Clay…I'm….." she walks around the bed to him and puts her hand on it wiping the small bit of blood off again. She looks him in the eye "I'm so sorry I didn't mean that to happen"

She slumps down on the bed and puts her head in her hands and sighs "I was angry ..I shouldn't have been. I just I hadn't seen you and I was worried about you and what happened to your dad. I shouldn't have let Stella calling get to me" she sighs again "I was being and silly. I just.. I .. I just care about you so much. I'm afraid I'm gonna lose you"

"Hey…you're not.. okay.. you're not going to lose me"  
He sighs running his hand down the back of her head while she sits there "You're right it's my fault. I should have come back. I did shut you out. I shouldn't have done"

Now he squats down in front her, brushes her hair back and kisses her. She looks him in the eye and kisses him back, wrapping her arms round his head running her fingers through the back of his curls.

He leans forward kissing her again "Don't leave"

"You really want me to stay…after that?" she smiles running her thumb on the cut on his face.

He nods and kisses her again "Of course I do" 

She runs her fingers round his face and watches him as she smiles "Come here!"  
Pulling him on top of her, she carries on kissing him. Unbuttoning the fly on his pants as she does. "You gonna help me or what?" she keeps smiling at him.

He smiles "I guess I could" He pushes her T shirt up and kisses her stomach, holding her arms up and then pulling it over her head. 

"_Mmmmm_! You want me?" she continues to smile

"You know I do!"

She leans up and kisses him "Come here then!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

They're in the shower.  
He's pushing her under the water, her back is against the tiles and her leg wrapped around him. They're kissing and she's gripping his back with her nails, scratching at his flesh as the intensity of the sex increases he can feel the pain as she starts to draw blood along the lines of scratches.  
He moves trying to un-grip her without losing the rhythm of his movement.

As they both relax in satisfaction he grimaces "_ahhhh_!"

She leans her head back against the tiles running her hair under the shower water. He puts his hand to his back.  
"You okay?" she frowns

"Yeah!" he kisses her "Yeah sure!" 

"Let me look" she frowns again "Oh shit!. I'm sorry I didn't realise I'd done that. I blame you this heat of the moment stuff you talked me into." she smiles as she kisses him and runs her hand over his chest, as he leans forward turning the water off.

"Yeah they'll take some explaining"

"You're not going to tell them .. how you got them, are you?" she frowns

" Well I think they might guess" he laughs

"Right" she frowns

he kisses her again "Don't worry about it!"

"I know but…. "

He leans in pushing her against the tiles kissing her "I said don't worry! It's fine"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Mmmm!" Ash turns over and opens his eyes. As he wakes,he jumps nervously in surprise "Oh shit!... What the hell are you doing here?"

Ann Marie watches him. She studies his expression  
"I just came to check on you..is that okay?... Clay said you were here. He told me what happened and I just needed to make sure you were okay" she smiles and puts her hand to his face and brushes his hair back "Just relax, everything's going to be okay now!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: I can show you crazy **

Ash is fully awake now and a little nervous at her presence beside his bed.  
He looks apprehensively at her "What the hell are you doing here Ann Marie?"

"Nothing!" she smiles at him "Hey, don't look like that… I just wanted to know you were alright and find out what happened? I was worried about you"

She looks round at the door, checking they're alone "You know I still care what happens to you" she kisses his forehead.

He pulls his head away from her touch. "Stop it! ..What the hell are you doing?... Why are you here?"

She shrugs tidying the turned over top edge of the bed sheet  
"When Clay said you'd been stabbed, well I felt sick. I felt bad. I mean... last time we spoke, we argued. I just wanted to say sorry. .. You're Clay's dad if I'm going to carry on seeing him .. we should get on. Don't you think, for Clay's sake?" she smiles.

He frowns at her, studying her face, looking for something that gives away what she did, confirms what he knows. Wondering how she can just come here and smile like nothing happened.  
"What the..… Ann Marie how the hell can you come here like this ... and don't pretend you don't know what happened!" 

She swallows hard as she makes another quick check of the doorway before running her fingers softly round the curve of his face and smiles

"What do you mean I know what happened?.. How could I know what happened?" she frowns at him "I saw on the news they thought it was a possible robbery? Have the police spoken to you? .. What did they say?... Do they know anymore?"

He wrinkles his forehead wondering how she can be so calm. He looks for even a flicker of remorse or even guilt in her eyes, but there's nothing just this smile and a total look of calm  
"No they don't know anymore. Not yet! but I'm sure they will."  
He's nervous now, her strange calmness worries him. He's seen it before, it's just like a calm before a storm. The calm before her rage "Where's Clay?... Is he here with you?"

"Oh yeah!...errrm.. He'll be along soon" she smiles at him "I'm sure you're going to be just fine"

He has to ask her now .. be direct, see how she reacts.  
"Why? Why did you do this?" he stares at her, watching, waiting for something, some sort of reaction

"Sorry?... Do what?" she frowns at him looking concerned "Ash? … What is it? ... Have you got something on your mind?"

She looks staring hard, frowning and questioning "Oh my god!" she lets out an indignant laugh "Do you think_ I_ did this? Are you accusing me?" she stands back, studying him as he now frowns. "Oh… my God! You _are_!"

He was, but watching her reaction he's now questioning himself. Her sudden surprise, her denial, he's wondering did he misjudge, has he got it wrong. He was so sure it was her but now he's wondering if he was too quick jumping to conclusions. Too quick making assumptions some how wanting it to be her as that made more sense and a reason to even more push her away.

She shakes her head "Why?.. Why would you think I did this? .. You think I'm crazy enough to stab you?" she watches him "Ash!" she takes a breath "What the hell?.. Why would you think I would hurt you?"  
She looks at the doorway again she can't risk Clay hearing the conversation "Ash…." She lowers her tone "You know I love you… I would never hurt you, not like this"

Ash looks at her in utter disbelief "Why?...Why would I think you would hurt me?" he shakes his head the feeling of astonishment that she could question this "Ann Marie, do you not remember what you did?.. Why I ended it!"

"You!.. _YOU_… ended it? _Huh!_... I don't remember that!" she steps back annoyed by him now "What the hell…You think you ended it? Seriously Ash .. WOW! You sure as hell think a lot of yourself"  
She shakes head watching him then angrily leans over his bed. "If you remember…." She spits her words out through gritted teeth "..you slept with someone else and _I _ended it"

"Ann Marie…. You know it was already ended!

She shakes her head "So, that's how you justify it?" she sneers blowing her long sigh through her nose in contempt of him."Telling yourself it was already ended?"

He's carefully watching her face. Seeing that look he remembers from many times before  
"For God sake!...You slashed me with a broken bottle. I needed stitches!"

"Oh…please, it wasn't that bad… You just wanted to make some drama of it … get some attention!"  
She closes her eyes and bites her lip hard taking a few moments to calm herself "Okay .. maybe I went a little far that time.. I'm sorry.. but you made me do it. You made me so angry…. I mean sleeping with her, when I thought we were trying to fix things"

"We were _OVER_!... And what about the other times? The _accidents!_"

"Other times?" she frowns "I don't know what you mean?" She's confused, she has no idea what he's talking about "What other times?... Are you saying I hurt you…deliberately? because…." she shakes her head "I love you Ash .. You know I'd never hurt you"

"You need to go…. Clay will be here soon… He can't know we're having this conversation"

"I know!" she smiles "He can't know anything about this. Anyway... he's here already here. He's talking to the doctors to see when you can come home"

"Home?"

"Yes… I've spoken to Clay about it, I mean… you'll need taking care of for a while…Just till your arm and shoulder are better!"

Clay enters the room and she removes her hand from his face turning to Clay "Hey babe. What did the doctors say?"

Clay puts his arm round her waist as she leans forward and kisses him  
"Yeah they said he'll be good to go, tomorrow with any luck. You should get full use of your arm back. There doesn't seem to be any lasting damage to your shoulder"

"That's great news! Hear that Ash you're good to come home" she smiles "Well he thought my suggestion was good. We think it'll be for the best don't we babe!" she wraps her arms round Clay's waist as they both look at Ash's reaction

"Suggestion?" Ash frowns "Sorry did I miss something? … What suggestion?"

She laughs "Ash, how much morphine are they giving you there that you forgot already about my suggestion ….that we move in with you…. for a while…just till you're stronger"  
She frowns as Ash frowns at her "Look I know we got off to a bad start but .. I'm prepared to put that behind me if you are, for Clay's sake… it will be awkward if we don't' get along, right?"

Ash is concerned "Right! I mean... yeah I guess so!" he really has no idea what she's talking about or more like what game she is playing. What situation she's trying to manipulate.

" Well I mean you can't move into Clay's" she looks at Clay "well he can't… it's too small .. it would be awkward there…So yours is kinda ideal… you've more bedrooms, so plenty of room for us, and as I work freelance, I can be around more if Clay gets spun up! …. Clay thought it was a good idea, didn't you? " she kisses Clay as she watches again for Ash's reaction

"Yeah I suppose" Clay's not sure if he really thinks it is, a good idea, but she's right it does make sense "I mean… it's just for a few days, right? .. Till you're on your feet again!"

Ash is horrified at the suggestion and doesn't remember her discussing it with him and now he feels on the spot. If he refuses he might have to explain why  
"No! …No! I can't ask you to do that .. I'll be fine!... I'll get a nurse in or something"

She shrugs "Clay tell him .. Ash we really don't mind.. like Clay says it's just for a few days till you're up and around bit more … You're not going to be able to do a lot with that arm"

She frowns seeing the unwillingness on Ash's face "Look!... you need to be practical here. Just let us help you" As she sees the look on his face harden and that he doesn't want to budge on his stance she now gets slightly annoyed

"It's me isn't it? … Because we got off on the wrong foot the other day" she sighs as she looks at Clay "Look I said I was prepared to move on from that but…" she sighs again and drops her smile to a frown "Sorry .. I just thought it would make things easier…. I guess I was wrong… look I'll go. Let you two talk"

"Hey. No! It's a great idea.. you were just being kind .. I mean offering to help" Clay kisses her and looks at Ash. He frowns annoyed that his dad is rejecting her offer of help "It would make sense, yes?... Ash, what's the problem?"

Ash frowns "Look son … just….." Ash is apprehensive he know full well who's pushing for this and how she's maneuvering it to get her own way. He knows this is such a bad idea but for some reason he reluctantly agrees "Sure, why not? .. like you say it's just for a few days .. till I'm back on my feet!"

Clay shrugs "Not much else we can do?... Unless you sleep on my couch.. at least at yours you've got room"

Ash frowns the whole idea worries him some but on the positive he can keep an eye on Ann Marie around Clay. "Sure.. let's see how it goes"

She smiles again now  
"Anyway.. could be fun and… it's a way for us to all get to know each other better" she looks round at Clay "Right?…..Tell you what, if we take the keys now we can get the house ready for your discharge tomorrow"

"Oh! I don't think that's necessary…. I …"

Clay's phone interrupts the conversation as it starts to bleep

"Oh Damn! Talking of getting spun up... Looks like I've gotta go" he frowns at Ann Marie as he holds her head and kisses her "Will you be okay to handle this?... I'm sorry.. leaving you with it… I'll make it up to you when I get back"

"Yeah you will, I can promise you that!" she smiles "Hey, don't worry.. I've got this! Just go!... Go be a hero" she smiles and kisses him. This time much longer, slower and more passionate as she watches Ash over Clay's shoulder.  
"I'm sure me and Ash can find something to occupy the time while you're gone… Right Ash?"

Ash turns his head breaking eye contact with her.

"You be careful" she kisses him again holding his face and looking in his eyes " I don't want you getting hurt as well"

"I'll be fine.. don't worry. Hopefully it won't take long!" he gives her one last kiss "Dad, I'll speak to you when I get back"

Ash nods "Sure son. Take care!"

Clay smiles as he looks at her. Putting his lips to hers and rubbing noses he quietly and softly speaks "Thanks for doing this .. You are so special… I .. I .. well you know"

She smiles "Yeah I know!… Now go!" she sighs, biting her lip watching him as he leaves the room.

"He's very special you know that…. your son. He's so like you" she turns to Ash watching him. The look in her face worries him as she turns back smiling "Well Ash… I guess it's just me and you now!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Okay sit up!"

Ash opens his eyes as she pulls the pillows up behind him "I said sit up straight. You don't want to spill it, it's hot!"

"What?" Ash frowns as she turns picking the tray up and places it on his lap

"Some soup…Lunch!... Oh, come on you must be hungry?" She smiles "Do you need me to help you?"

"ermmmm No! no I'm good"

"Oh…. nearly forgot" she hands him two small objects and a glass of water "Pain killers… the hospital said to take before food"

He looks at them in his hand then looks up at her "What are they?"

"Painkillers! Just take them"

He looks at them again "Oh you know I'm okay I'll take them later"

"What the pills?" she frowns "No! You need to take them now, with this soup"

He looks again at the two small tablets in his hand

"Now what?" she looks at him as he still doesn't swallow them "Ash?...What's the problem?" she stands watching him for a few moments as he studies the pills in his hand "Oh!" she sighs "Don't tell me not only do you think I stabbed you, you now think I'm trying to poison you as well?"

She takes the bottle off the side dresser and hands it to him "The hospital… see.. take two!" she reads the label as she sighs and shakes her head "Fine don't! Do what you want! Be in pain I don't care!... I swear I think you read too many books, you're getting paranoid!"

He looks puzzled "No! No.. you're right" he smiles and sighs as he lets his guard drop "I am being paranoid"

"Just take them and eat!"

"Sure" he smiles as he lifts the spoon in the soup "_aahhh! ahhh! _It's hot!"

"I told you it was .. Just give it a minute …Is it nice?"

He nods "It's okay"

"Okay?" she frowns "I made it specially for you"

"Yeah it's errm.. it's good" he's not particularly hungry right now and soup wasn't something he had on his mind to eat and Ann Marie was never a great cook even though she tried on numerous occasions.

She sighs "You don't like it! I can tell"

"No! No, it's fine.. Just I wasn't very hungry"

"Fine!.. Just _fine_?! … Not that I didn't spend all morning making it for it to be_ fine"_ she shakes her head again "You know what?... _FINE!_... Fine, don't eat it!" She sighs "You know, two days now .. I've tried with you.. but you're just making it awkward… What is the problem?"

"Problem? You're asking me that? … Seriously Ann Marie .. this whole thing is a problem.. Don't you get it?...This … Clay and you staying here.. it's crazy! We had a relationship .. and now you're in my house with _my son_… You tell me that's not a little bit of a crazy situation?"

"Crazy?.. No .. its only you making an issue out of it! Clay doesn't even know anything went on and why should he?... It's just circumstances. You see it on TV all the time!" she laughs but she can tell from his reaction he doesn't find it funny  
"Look, you got hurt and need some help…I'm helping my boyfriends' family out…. but that's crazy?... Sure! You're right!" she takes a deep breath there's an anger building to this attitude Ash has with her  
"I tell you what .. you wanna see crazy?.. .I can show you crazy!"

She tips the tray up into his lap. The hot soup tips down him and he jumps up from where he's sitting as the hot liquid seeps through his shirt and pants material onto his skin.

"GEEZ! …. Oh my God! _awww.._ Shit!"  
He pulls the material of his clothes away from his skin trying to cool it "Geez! Ann Marie what the hell!.." he puts the tray down on the floor "_Ahhhh!"_ he can feel where its scolded the top of his leg

She turns away taking a breath, rubbing her forehead trying to calm her anger before she turns back watching him.  
"Oh god!..." she lets out one long sigh "Ash .. Look, I'm sorry .. I didn't mean for that.. you just wound me up…Here let me help you!" she starts to undo the buckle on the belt of his pants

He pulls her hand away "What the hell! What are you doing? … Get off me!"

"I'm just trying to help, you need to get these off... it's burnt you"

"I know what I need to do .. just… I can do it myself!" he drops the top of his pants and can see the red mark where the soup has burnt.

She goes to the kitchen and comes back with a towel with some ice wrapped and as he takes the soup stained pants off and sits down to look at his leg

"Here .." she holds the cloth and ice to the top of his leg by his groin

"_Awww!_ That's cold!"

She smiles "Make your mind up.. too hot, too cold! Which is it?" she laughs and he actually smiles back

She's inches away from him now as she gently holds the ice on his leg "I'm sorry .. You know I didn't mean to do that. right?"

He nods "Yeah, yeah I know"  
He doesn't. He knows that she did it on purpose, but he also knows from experience just to go along with what she says in this situation as the last thing he needs is to make her angry again.

They just stare at each other. Watching each other's eyes. Him looking for a flicker of something, something that will make him stop this, but all he can see, and feel is the passion in that look that she gives him.  
She moves her hand across slowly, gently in a lingering way from where she was holding the ice on the top of his thigh. Now she's right on the groin area of his underwear. Her hand still softly caressing him.

"Ann Marie …" he closes his eyes "STOP!" he puts his hand on top of hers holding it still

She smiles at him watching his face as he closes his eyes to her "You want me to stop? … Ash, look at me!" she smiles "You really want me to stop?"

He keeps his eyes closed a few moments longer before opens them to her looking directly at him. His eyes watching her, taking in her features. Looking her in the eyes. Those beautiful deep blue eyes that seduced him the first time he met her. That captivated him each and every time she said sorry and could do the same again right now if he let them.

"Yes .." he closes his eyes again " ...You need to stop"

"Oh!... You sure?... Cos, I'm not so sure you do"

He's still holding his hand on top of hers, but now he loosens his grip as she continues to move hers gently against his skin. Then he lifts his from hers and rests it beside him, relaxing slightly as she continues to slowly caress him.  
Her lips are only inches from his, so close but not touching. Her eyes piercing into him, asking him if he wants her to stop or if he wants to take this further.

Maybe not his mind but his body is certainly giving into her. Giving into that look she gives. A look that was always his absolute weakness.  
This is wrong so very,very wrong and his head knows it. He needs to stop it. He needs to put an end to it, but that touch on his body and the look in her eyes makes doing it nearly impossible.

"Ann Marie.. Please!… We can't do this!" he shakes his head at her as he lets out a big sigh, but still he relaxes to her touch

"_Shhhh_! .. just relax!... You want this!"

He shakes his head as he bites his lip. He fights with the demons in his head as his body relaxes back into the chair.

Then there's a bang, and a thud!

They both jump. startled as they unexpectedly hear the outside door shut.

"Hey!... It's me! .. Where are you?... I'm back? Ann Marie?...Ash?... Are you here?" Clay frowns as he closes the front door. He can't hear anything and wonders if they're in the house.

Ann Marie stops and takes her hand off Ash and smiles at him  
"Remember you wanted this" she smiles again "Don't forget that!...Yeah Clay! We're in here!"

Ash closes his eyes now stricken with guilty feelings _"What the hell!_ " Ash sighs as he starts to gather himself "Wait! You can't let him come in here! .. What the …..."

"Clay we're in here!" she smiles leaning over Ash as she calls out again. She's enjoying every minute of the awkwardness she sees in Ash's face  
"Don't worry ... our secret" she quickly kisses his lips

_"Oh shit!.. Ahhh!"_ Ash rubs his head as he leans it back and sighs, swallowing hard, berating himself at how stupid he's been. Trying to regain his composure just as Clay opens the living room door.

As the door opens Ash grabs up the soup soiled pants from the floor and awkwardly covers himself. Putting his hand to the stinging sensation from the burn on his thigh.

"Oh, there you both are ….." Clay stops in his sentence seeing Ash sitting there and Ann Marie stood between his legs "What the hell's going on?"

She laughs "Well this looks awkward" she smiles "Blame your Dad!"  
Ash frowns at her, wondering what she's about to say

"Mr Clumsy, spilled his soup in his lap and he's burnt his leg! Good job I was here, isn't it, Ash! ...I got some ice on it .. I don't think it's gonna leave a mark!"

"Son.." Ash feels so awkward. He doesn't know what to say. His mouth is dry and he coughs "Good spin up?"

Clay frowns "Yeah not too bad .. You know I can't talk about it … You know I won't talk about!" he stares at his Dad "You okay?... I mean your leg?"

"Yeah! yeah, I'm good.. it's nothing .. just over reacted!"

Ann Marie holds the towel up "Looks like I'm not needed now!" she smiles as she comes over to Clay and brushes his curls back. It's all full of sand and dirt "Wow ! Look at you .. been playing in the sandbox?"

Clay smiles "Something like that... I missed you!" he kisses her

"Hey!...Down boy, you need a shower first!"

"Yeah... yeah you're right ... Look if you're both okay then I'm going to get cleaned up… Take a shower. I came straight back after de brief, couldn't wait to see you" he smiles at Anne Marie who's now in front of him wrapping her arms round his neck

"You need some help, getting cleaned up? Someone to wash your back,maybe?" she smiles

Clay nods as he looks awkwardly at Ash and bites his lip, looking at her, thinking about her offer before he answers "Maybe .."

"Oh, just maybe?.. Nothing I can do to tempt you to a more definite answer?"

"Let's see what you're offering first!" he laughs then kisses her. He stops as he looks at his Dad and coughs slightly embarrassed.

She looks round "Oh, I'm sure your dad can cope without a nurse for a while. That right Ash?...Nothing you can't handle yourself?"

Ash ignores her. He's angry. Angry for letting her get him into this situation.  
He's also angry with himself, wondering how far he would have gone if Clay hadn't come back and now he hates himself that he even for a moment that he had those thoughts but this, this he remembers, is how she manipulates things, how things always became his fault.  
"Yeah I'm good. I'm just gonna get some clean clothes… then I think I'll call my publisher .. see about getting back to work"

She turns frowning at him. There's a tinge of jealousy in her look when she thinks of him with his publisher.

"_Hmmmm_! ...Well come on soldier boy. Your Dad's got stuff to do so you can show me some action!"

Clay blushes slightly as Ash catches his eye. Both of them looking away awkwardly "Yes Mam!" Clay picks her up in his arms as she squeals "I missed you!" he kisses passionately totally forgetting, now, his Dad's in the room.

"Good .. I hope you did!" she leans in and kisses him. "I know I missed you!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Shows over **

Ash lays on his bed with his eyes shut. He takes a deep sigh.

All he can hear is giggles and laughter from the other room. He tries to block out the sounds as he isn't having to imagine too hard what's going on in the next room.  
Hearing them in the shower was as much as he could stomach but now this.

He sighs again turning over "Awww!" he rubs his shoulder he needs some painkillers but he left them in the bathroom and it feels awkward for them to hear him wandering around to fetch them.

"Clay, stop!" she pulls away from his kisses

"What?" he frowns at her "What is it?"

She smiles "Ash is in the other room. What if he can hear us?"

Clay hadn't thought about it and looks round at the door  
"Don't worry… I'm sure he can't" he kisses her neck again and his hand wanders down the curve of her waist

"NO!. .. Clay stop!.. I can't not while he's in there.. Anyway, didn't you have enough in the shower?" she smiles then kisses him back again.

"No!... I could do that all day with you"

"Clay…" she untangles herself from his grip "Just stop!" she laughs as he runs his hands over her some more. Wrapping his hands round her running them over her curves.

"Mmmm! As much as I want to stay here and do this again." she bites her lip watching him "Why don't we go out?"

"What?!" he frowns "Seriously? .. You wanna go out?"

She pushes him back "Don't you?... I'm sure your team are out drinking. I don't want you missing out.. Anyway, we can finish this again later!"

"Mmm!" he kisses down her neck and chest "You sure?"

She nods and pulling his head back up towards hers she kisses his lips "Yeah! Come on let's go out!"

She sits up and reaches for her panties from the floor to put on looking round for the rest of her underwear "Hey.. You know what… why don't you ask your dad to come?"

"What? No .. No, he doesn't need to come… it's awkward with him" he frowns at her questioning her reasoning about asking him "You know with his book!"

"Oh that!.. Oh, come on Clay.. I don't think they're worried now anyway.. he's been cooped up here with me for two days .. he needs to get out and see some other faces" she leans in and kisses him.

"Hmmm!" he frowns again "Suppose you're right .. but he might not wanna come?"

"Well…" she shrugs "…you can ask him … Clay,be nice to him!" she smiles

"You …" he quickly kisses her again "You are too thoughtful.. You care too much"

"Yeah well .. you remember that Clay Spenser"

She lays him back on the bed and straddles across him leaning forward to put her lips on his "Now I need to get dressed!" she smiles

"Are you sure… I kinda like this outfit"

She laughs and nods "Maybe I'll wear it again later … Now... you go and get something to eat while I get dressed"

She listens as Clay heads downstairs and she can hear him in the kitchen. Ash also hears him go and he heads to the bathroom for the painkillers.

Ann Marie puts her bra back on and hears Ash's bedroom door close. She looks out of her own room down the hallway and sees him head into the bathroom.  
She smiles and tidies her hair. Once she straightens herself she also heads to the bathroom. Without knocking she enters.

"Oh my gosh!... Ash!" she frowns "Sorry… I didn't know you were in here" she lies

"Shit!" he closes his eyes looking at her stood in front of him, dressed only in in her black underwear "What the hell are you doing?... You can't be in here ...Not dressed like that!"

She smiles "What? You've seen it before ... Don't you like it now?" she smiles as she stands in the doorway. She checks the corridor. She can still hear Clay downstairs

"No!" he keeps his eyes awkwardly closed "You need to leave.. Ann Marie go!"

"I just need my hairbrush" she smiles as she pushes him back from the counter by the sink. The door closes behind "Ash.."

"Ann Marie, Please.. Just get out, okay. This is wrong ! You can't do this!" he's angry with her now

"Okay! Woah! Calm down.. What's wrong with you" she frowns watching him "Like I said I just came to get my hairbrush" she picks up the black hairbrush from beside the sink and smiles at him

"Oh god! he looks away "You need to go get dressed!"

Seeing him look so awkward makes her smiles and she enjoys the feeling it gives her "Why?" she takes hold of his hand and puts it on her bra "You use to like this! What don't you like it?"

"Ann Marie! For god sake STOP it!.. You can't do this .. Geez.. Clay's just downstairs!"

"Oh, calm down Ash" she licks her lip watching him "I'm teasing you! Having some fun!" she smiles and coughs  
"You know we could .." she shakes her head and bites her lip "No!"she watches him looking at her "You want to though….Dont you?" She smiles again waving the brush in front of him "Hairbrush!... What I came for!" she turns and leaves

He leans back "Oh god!" he shakes his head thinking how wrong that situation was and that it can't happen again, even If being honest part of him enjoyed it. "She needs to leave!"

She heads back to her bedroom smiling. She knows he still has some desire for her and it makes her feel good.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Ash does agree to join them at the bar, mainly because he thought Ann Marie was staying behind and it was just going to be him and Clay, but as he soon finds out that isn't the case and she's in the car with them he wishes he hadn't.

AS they enter the bar Clay looks around to see where the team are.

Ash spots them too "Look I'll sit here .. by myself" he frowns feeling Clay's awkwardness

"Fine! Whatever" Clay feels he's done his part by asking him to come. He doesn't actually want to socialise with him. He only asked him because Ann Marie insisted.

Clay gets some drinks and they join the others. Ann Marie makes small talk with Ray and Sonny.

Sonny feels awkward just chatting "You fancy a game of pool?"

"Sure" she smiles and nods at him "I'll have another beer too babe!" she smiles at Clay "When you go to the bar!"

He kisses her and smiles back before he heads back over to the bar

Her and Sonny continue with their pool game. As she looks up from her turn she sees some dark-haired girl chatting with Clay at the bar. Her face turns from a smile to a frown as she watches them. The girl's flirty and playing with her hair as her and Clay stand laughing and talking.

"Your turn .. Hey!... Ann Marie. You listening? Your turn" Sonny frowns watching her lost in her thoughts as she continues watching Clay getting the drinks

"What? .. Oh yeah.. sorry"

"Something wrong?"

"No! ..No nothing just... who's that girl?.. At the bar with Clay. Do you know her?"

Sonny shrugs "Nah! I have no idea .. probably just a random bar fly I guess. Trying her luck.. there plenty of them in here"

"Trying her luck?"

"Yeah happens all the time…Hey don't worry about, he's only got eyes for you " he smiles at her trying to reassure the anxious look he can see on her face

She nods "I guess" she hesitantly smiles back as Clay heads back towards them with the drinks

"What did she want?" she snaps at him

"Who?" He frowns taken aback by the anxious tone in her voice and looks round at the bar. He knows what she's talking about but tries to brush it off

"That girl at the bar, what did she want? What was she asking you?"

"Oh her! She…." he flounders thinking of an answer he can't very well tell her she was offering to buy him a drink "… she was just asking if I was being served …. General chit chat while she was waiting her turn"

"Really?" she nods watching his face looking at the lie that she can see on it. "Come here" she smiles at him as he puts the drinks on the table and she puts her arms round his waist.

He frowns some reason he feels kind of worried, but she continues to smile and he relaxes as she kisses him. "As long as that's all it was!" she kisses him again more passionately this time "

"Hey.. can you put him down!" Sonny shakes his head watching the intense display of affection "Poster boy.. your turn!"

Ash is still sitting away from them on his own watching the TV behind the bar. Well half watching. He's also keeping an eye on Clay and Ann Marie when he feels a gentle hand on his shoulder and looks round  
"Stella!... Hey!" he gets up and kisses her cheek "How you doing?"

"Yeah I'm good. How are you?"she smiles "Sorry I missed you at the hospital .. they said you'd been discharged"

"Yeah...yeah I'm doing good .. been home a couple of days now but … you could have come to the house"

She looks up and around the bar catching Clay at the pool table with Ann Marie and Sonny. She nods towards him as he looks up but he ignores her.

"Ermmm … Yeah Clay told me he and Ann Marie were staying with you… so I thought it best not to, but Clay's not been answering me so I was errrmm… over here for a few days and thought I'd pop and check what's been going on. But your okay?"

"Yeah .. yeah I'm getting there! Hey let me get you a drink"

She looks at Clay again "No! No, I won't stay"

"No come on keep me company.. . let me get you a drink. You've gone out of your way to check on me… least I can do"

"Oh umm.. "she looks round frowning at Ann Marie and Clay who are kissing again by the pool table "I think it's best I don't"

"Stella?... Is there something on your mind?" Ash frowns as he watches her concentrating on looking over at the pool table

She shakes her head "No!… just you know … Don't wanna invade their space" she sighs " I mean it's not cool for her the ex-girlfriend being around, Right?"

Ash frown deepens "Stella, you okay?… about them together, I mean"

"Yeah! Yeah sure .. Who Clay sees, it's nothing to do with me anymore" she sighs

"What? .. There's something. Stella tell me"

She lets out a long sigh "I don't know .. I mean she seems nice but .. Do you think she's right for Clay? I mean do you know her very well?"

Ash shakes his head he swallows hard before he lies "No! No I don't know at all really …I noticed shes a bit intense at times" he sips at his drink not making eye contact. He doesn't want to give Stella in further reason to query his reactions

Stella nods and frowns as she watches them "Yeah that's one word for it!"

Ash looks back her watching her watching them "There's something more?"

"Look I don't wanna come across as the jealous ex or anything but…. between you and me. I ran into her at the bakery and… well she warned me off .. Clay.. Told me not to text him that sort of thing. I mean I thought he was fine with it, but… I don't know something the way she was …" she shrugs "She scared me a little … I mean I know it sounds silly, but she pulled my hair and.. Oh, hey... it doesn't matter .. I'm sure I just sound bitter, but I'm not!"

"No!….No, trust me you don't. What else did she say .. to you?"

"Nothing but…." She hesitates unsure if its going too far to tell him "…look someone slashed my car tire and I don't' know it was her but… for some reason … Oh look forget it …I didn't say anything" she smiles and picks up her beer.

"No! No you were right to…Thanks for telling me!" he picks up his own beer and drinks as he looks round and watches Ann Marie and Clay.

She's standing by the pool table while Sonny and Clay play but she's watching Ash with Stella and he can see her. He can feel the vibe from the glare she's giving them. He shakes his head at her and she looks away.

"What's she doing here?"

Clay looks up "Who?" He frowns as he sees Stella stood with Ash "I don't know" the lines on his head increase as he watches them then he looks back at Ann Marie "I don't honestly" he shrugs at her

"Really?… You didn't ask her to come here?"

"No! .. Maybe Ash did .. maybe she's just around and dropped in. I don't know!...Hey does it matter?"

Ann Marie nods but he can see she's annoyed "No! I guess not"

"Look don't worry about her…Do you want another drink?"

"Yeah sure. Why not.. .I'll have a double vodka this time"

"Really?" Clay frowns its not often he sees her drink like this "Okay!.. Here you play Sonny. I'll go!" He looks at Sonny "You want another beer?"

"Sure, why not!" he can see the troubled look on Clay's face. "He okay?"he asks Ann Marie

She shrugs "Yeah! Why wouldn't he be?"

"No reason"

"You know…" she puts the pool cue down "I need the ladies room, excuse me" she smiles and leaves him

As she comes into the bathroom the girl from the bar earlier is washing her hands and doing her makeup and as Ann Marie comes out of the cubicle the girl is texting on her phone.  
Firstly she washes her hands and then stands in front of the girl watching her.

The dark haired girl looks up from her phone and smiles at Ann Marie. Then feeling the intensity of the stare she's being given she collects up her belongings into her bag.  
She turns to leave and as she does Ann Marie barges her knocking her cell phone to the floor.

Ann Marie puts her foot on it "Oh sorry"  
The girl frowns and goes to pick up her phone and Ann Marie grabs her hair

"Awww… What the hell!" the girl cries out as Ann Marie pushes her back against the cubicle door

"STAY AWAY from my boyfriend!"

"Awww! Let go bitch! .. Sorry … What .. who the hell is your boyfriend?"

"I saw you… asking him .. if you could buy him a drink!"

"Oh, that guy.. .Yeah I didn't know he had a girlfriend .. look…. awww! Let go!" She tries to get Anne Marie hand off her hair, but Ann Marie pushes her harder against the wall

"Maybe you should think in future…. about who you're talking to. Before you chat guys up … They might have families and girlfriends!"

She lets go as someone walks into the bathroom. She smiles as they look at her  
"She dropped her phone"

They awkardly nod back. Given the sudden opportunity the girl gathers her phone and leaves.  
As she gets to the door she looks back "You're a psycho, bitch! You need help"

People sitting near to the bathroom door hear her and turn to look as Stella opens the door and walks in

Ann Marie glares at her as the other person comes out of the cubicle. Stella gulps. She really doesn't want to be around her but she tries to act like everything's cool  
"Hey! How are you?" she smiles

"Hi" Ann Marie, smiles back as she washes her hands again the other person looks at them both. They can feel a tension so hurry and leave.

Before Stella knows what's happening Ann Marie blocks the cubicle doorway "What are you doing here?"

Worriedly she looks at her "I errm.. I came to see if Ash was okay. Clay wasn't answering .. I guess he got spun up?"

"No!…I mean yes he did get spun up but… I blocked your number, on his phone... I told you there is no reason for you to call Clay now.. Didn't you listen?"

"Yeah I did but when I heard ... I just wanted to know how Ash was doing… I saw on the news about the stabbing… I was worried!"

"Why?.." she frowns watching Stella intensely "Clay and Ash are nothing to do with you.. You clearly didn't understand me last time we spoke! … You…. stay away from Ash!" She glares right in Stella's face ".. and Clay!"

"Sure .. fine if that's what he wants"

"I want…it's what I want!" she smiles " and I mean it this time. STAY AWAY!"

Someone else now enters the bathroom and Stella pushes past into the cubicle. Ann Marie smiles and leaves. As she comes out Ash is watching her, and she smiles at him.

"Your drinks on there" Clay frowns seeing her face as she picks it up and drinks "You okay?"

She nods "Yeah I'm fine!"

The girl from the bathroom incident heads over towards them and Ann Marie frowns

"You need to tell your psycho bitch girlfriend there to calm down in future. Seems she doesn't want anyone talking to you!"

He looks at Ann Marie who shrugs and ignores her

"Sorry what?" Clay frowns not sure what she means

"Oh, just ignore her Clay. She just had a go at me in the bathroom because I _accidentally_ knocked her phone out of her hand. She's drunk!"

"I am not drunk! Oh my god … you stupid bitch .. You're the one pulled my hair!"

"What? ... No, I didn't! … That's a lie!... Why the hell are you saying that?" she looks at Clay and moves closer towards the girl "but if you have a problem tell me now!"

They front up to each other. Inches away from each others faces. Just staring

"Hey!... Woah! ….Woah!" Clay and Sonny step in and separate them. Sonny positions himself in front of the girl, who is now screaming abuse "Hey! Ladies… come on!...Break it up!"

Clay holds Ann Marie back. She's so angry that she starts to cry

"Hey Ann Marie… Look, just stop this!"

"What?! … You're gonna let her speak to me like that?" Ann Marie looks pitifully at Clay "Why? … she's the one come over here and started the trouble…. She's the one chatting my boyfriend up at the bar.. but…" she's indignant with rage now "But that's okay with you?"

"No! .. No that's not what I'm saying … look this seems like it's got out of hand over nothing!"

Sonny looks behind then back at the girl "Hey .. its best if you just leave" he makes it mighty clear to the girl that is her only option

"Sure, I'm out of here! But…" she points at Ann Marie "You watch yourself!"

Ann Marie frowns "Me? .. Watch myself.. Why you little tramp!" Ann Marie lurches forward as Sonny pushes the girl back and Clay puts his arm out to stop her moving any further "WOAH!... Ann Marie stop!"

"_WHAT?_ .. So you're happy for her to insult me?.. Clay, do something!" she screams in Clay's face

He sighs shaking his head he can't believe how quickly this escalated "What? .. _WHAT,_ do you want me to do Ann Marie.? You're overreacting … I told you it was nothing.. Now just calm down!"

"_WHAT?!_ ….What did you say? _ME!_.. Calm down!" She stares at him incandescent with rage

Ash can see her from the bar, and he gets off his stool and heads over. The whole bar is looking now as the girls argue and Ann Marie screams at Clay.

He puts his hand on her holding her back and then before he can think or say anything else she lashes out and punches him straight in the eye

"GO TO HELL!" She screams at him. He's taken a back holding his face as Sonny gets hold of her

"Hey! Hey calm the hell down. What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Get the HELL OFF ME!" she pushes Sonny in the chest and grabs her coat and bag "You stay away from me!" she points at Clay and glares that the girl who has moved back behind the table after seeing how enraged she is.

Ash is over quickly trying to calm it "Hey Ann Marie what the hell's going on?"

She glares at Ash "Ask your son .. he's the one chatting up other women in the bar!"

"What?" Clay looks round but he's still holding his face his eye is starting to puff up from the force that she hit him "No! . .. No, it's not like that… I told you!" he can't believe she's gotten herself this worked up over nothing.

She swings back on him "_NO?._.. Really? So she didn't offer to buy you a drink and you didn't chat and laugh with her?... AND what the HELL is she doing here?" she points at Stella who's still stood at the bar  
"Why is your ex following you around? Hmmm? Don't have an answer?... No I didn't think so!" she grits her teeth as Sonny still has his hand on her shoulder holding her away from Clay  
"I asked you to stop contacting her …. but No!" she grinds her teeth looking at him still furious "You still text her about Ash…didn't you?"

Jason arrives and see's whats going on, as the Barman tries to calm it down as well.

Ann Marie picks up the glass of drink from the table and throws it over Clay "We're over! I don't need you treating me like this!...You're welcome to him!" she spits at Stella who looks round the bar as everyone is stood looking at what's going on.

"WOAH!" Jason now grabs hold of the glass in her hand and holds her back "You wanna tell me what the hell's going on?" he frowns at her as it takes a lot of his force to hold her back.

"Ask your precious team!" she points around at them all "Get your hands the off of me!"

He can see the tears streaming down her face "Hey come on … lets sort this!... I'm sure its nothing.. I'm sure Clay didn't do anything" he's trying to pacify her, just to calm her down as she seems very unpredictable right now.

"No! I'm sure he didn't! ….He can go to hell!"

"Jason let her go!" Ash nods towards him "I'll take her home"

Jason still has hold of her and watches Ash "No! I don't think that's a good idea!" 

She laughs watching Ash look at her  
"What so you can try it on again….. like you did earlier? In the bathroom!" she looks at Clay who's frowning "Yeah .. He didn't tell you that !.. Oh you can all go to hell! I'm done here!"

"What?" Clay frowns at Ash "What the hell's she on about?"  
Clay grabs hold of his Dad and looks him straight in the face "Is that true? .. What she just said that you tried it on again?"

Ash shakes his head but Clay keeps staring at him "That why you wanted us to stay at yours….. so you can keep trying it on ….like she told me about from before .. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Clay!… Come on don't believe her .. she's lying! …. Clay .. you want the truth.." he pauses a moment "She came on to me!"

"Oh my god!…" Ann Marie stands with her mouth open "I don't believe you!... but right .. of course, yeah believe him .. Why not! …. I mean why would anyone believe me. Go on then .. tell them.. tell them it all!"

Ash gulps he's afraid now of what she might say. That she might tell Clay about their relationship, that Clay may never speak to him again if he finds out and if he finds out he wasn't straight with him from the start.

She can see the fear in Ash as she stands there "Tell them!…. I will then ... He thinks I stabbed him!" she laughs "And now this GREAT thanks a lot Ash .. I knew you didn't think I was good enough for your son but this .. " she shakes her head " Oh you know what .. I'm done .. I'm out of here. I thought you were better than this Clay.. but I guess you're all about your _TEAM_ and sticking together" she wipes the tears from her cheek "I told you I didn't date SEALS for this reason... but I really thought I'd fallen in love with you!" she turns and walks away.

Clay takes a breath and looks at everyone staring at him "Ann Marie!...Wait!.. Don't go! Not like this!"

But its too late she's gone out the door

Clay slumps back in a chair holding his face it's starting to bruise up and is sore.

Sonny shakes his head and laughs looking at him "You know next time you have a fight… I'm having fifty bucks on her!" he laughs again, as do Trent and Brock  
"Hey Jace.. maybe we put her through buds and she can join BRAVO .. What you say?"

Jason tries to laugh but he can't find it funny for now, he looks at Ash then down at Clay sitting in the chair feeling embarrassed and sorry for himself.

"You okay son?" Ash asks concerned "You need to get that looked at?" He points at his face as he watches him a moment and takes a breath "Has she done that before?"

Clay looks at him "Why the hell do you care all of a sudden? Get off me ..it's nothing!"

"It's not nothing son.. you need … just you need to be careful"

Sonny laughs "Hey Ash… calm down alright .. I think he can handle a fight with a woman, don't you?… I mean come on.. we've all been there, right? …Clay, she'll calm down, man. Probably just had too much to drink too quickly .. It just got out of hand.. that's all. No big deal!"

"You okay?" Stella stands beside Ash and frowns at him

"Just leave me alone alright ... Just don't be here! She's right.. it is weird you being my ex.. following me around .. texting me.. It does need to stop!"

Stella's upset by his harsh tone but she nods "Okay .. if that's what you want?"

"Yeah .. yeah it is" he takes a breath "I know she's insecure and … I should have took it seriously. I should have known better and reassured her. Not made it worse by texting you"

"Son.. this is not your fault. You can't see it like that .. Clay believe me ...you did nothing wrong!"

"Get away from me!" he pushes Ash back "She told me ….what you did before!… and really you accused her of stabbing you?" he points to his shoulder "What the hell is wrong with you?... I didn't want to have anything to do with looking after you .. but she insisted .. she was the one trying to be nice .. and…" he shakes his head

"Son…. Please. You don't know what she's like!"

"Oh, and you .. you do? .. How's that? What because she knocked you back…. So that means she must be crazy?"

"Look son .. "Ash shakes his head he so desperately wants to tell him the truth but he just can't find the right words and this really doesn't feel like the right time "No! … No you're right .. I don't! I don't know her at all"

Sonny steps in to ease the tension "Look…Clay it's just a stupid drunken fight .. it'll be fine in the morning!" he looks around at Jason and Ash "He'll sleep on the couch …then tomorrow apologise, buy some flowers and kiss and make up. That's how it works… hell we've all been there, right?"

Jason nods "Yeah you're probably right Sonny.. Clay just let her sleep on it!"

Ash looks at him then at Jason. Jason frowns watching him. He's not totally sure what's going on

Ray looks round at everyone in the bar quietly staring "Okay shows over…. as you were" Everyone starts to go back to what they were doing quietly discussing what's happened.

Jason puts his hand to Clay's cheek to look at the bruise "You good?"

Clay brushes him away "Yeah sure.. .It's nothing" though if truth were told it really hurts and his eye is quite badly swelling up but he laughs  
"What? You think a punch from her is gonna hurt? I don't think so, I've had worse!...Look, I'm fine.. just bruised ego that's all" he laughs again trying to convince them it's nothing.

Jason nods "You got this under control, right?" he looks at him

Clay laughs again not sure what Jason's insinuating "Yeah .. it's nothing .. Sonny's right .. you've all been there … look she just lost her temper .. You not telling me you not lashed out in temper before?.. She was upset.. I should have took her concerns more seriously!"

Jason nods "She lose her temper like that a lot?"

Clay frowns at him again "What do you mean?.. No no of course not it's a one off" Ash shakes his head as Clay looks at him "What the hell are you looking at?" He snaps at him angrily

"Nothing! … Look, let's get you home!"

"YOU… get your hands off me! … I need to go find Ann Marie, check she's okay"

Stella steps in as she notes Ash's concern "Clay.. maybe you should get that looked at ? and leave her to cool down for a while?"

"What the hell is this? .. No! No I'm not leaving her, she's upset.. What the hell you're more worried about me getting a bruise than if she's okay?... I know you don't like her .. but I do!"

"Okay!" Jason nods taking Clay's concerns into account over the others "That's okay.. You're right we go find her .. Come on I'll take you!"

Clay nods "Thanks!" he glares at Ash who's frowning at Jason

"Stella why don't you take Ash back in your car?" Jason suggests "We'll let you know when we find her and .. if she comes back to yours you can let us know!"

Lisa arrives in the bar and looks at Sonny and frowns, questioning him "What the hell's going on?"

Sonny shrugs then laughs "Oh they getting their panties in a wad cos Clay and Ann Marie had a bust up" he sighs "Though I have to say that girl can sure hit .. Woah! I sure as hell wouldn't have wanted to be on the receiving end of that .. he's gonna have one hell of a shiner tomorrow, for sure!" they both laugh "Hey,you want a beer ?" he looks round and whispers to her her "or you wanna get off"

She smiles and looks round "I'll have beer first .. but …..then we'll get off"

Sonny orders a beer and Ray's beside him "What the hell was that all about Ray?"

"I don't know Brother.. but the look on Jason's face .. something's going on. Jason was way too calm there!"

"You think?" Sonny frowns "I mean about something going on? I mean hell Ray, I've seen plenty of women get jealous like that over an ex .. It's what they do .. Mark my words it'll be fine tomorrow you'll see"

Ray nods "Yeah I'm sure you're right man … just I don't know .. not for me to say but.. something's not right"

"What you think Ash really did try it on with her?" he looks at Ray who shrugs "No! No way man … she's his sons girlfriend he wouldn't!… Would he?"

Ray raises his eyes "This is Ash Spenser we're talking about!"

Sonny nods "Oh hell!" he looks at the barman "Better give me some whiskey shots to go with those beers!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Jason's driving round they haven't been able to see her. Clay keeps calling her cell "She's still not answering. Do you think she's alright?"

"Yeah I'm sure she's fine. She probably turned it off make you sweat … probably just licking her wounds somewhere.. for over reacting!"

"Yeah! .. Hope you're right" he sighs leaning back in his seat and rubbing his cheek again

"Hey… that okay?... Do you need to get it looked at?"

"No it's fine" he touches gently round his eye "Well…. it does throb a bit.. You know Sonny's right …she has a hell of a punch!" he laughs

Jason laughs as well "Yeah …. You picked a feisty one there" he pauses for a moment now he's got Clay onside "So what's all that about with Ash?"

"Oh, you know Ash .. always wants the attention" he looks out of the window slightly embarrassed "She told me he tried it on with her….. at a book launch she attended, and that she knocked him back. Took it personal... knocked his ego!"

Jason nods "and you believe that?"

"Knowing him … yeah!... I guess he been trying it again!"

"No I meant that she knocked him back" Jason knows he's on dangerous ground asking this but he wants to see if Clay has any doubts

Clay bites his lip before he answers "Of course I believe her .. why wouldn't I? Why the hell would she go with him?.. No it's all him and his reputation.. thinks he's a ladies man!"  
He sits quiet for a moment "Anyway this is me and him done after this… no more chances! I should've listen to my gut where he's concerned and not let him back in my life!"

Jason's quiet and just nods

"Hey… swing by mine.. You know I wonder if she went there rather than to Ash's"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Clay runs up the stairs to his apartment and there he finds Ann Marie leaned against the door her eyes closed, her makeup running down her face from where she's been crying.

"Hey!" Clay frowns "Ann Marie?"

She opens her eyes "Clay!" she starts to cry " I sorry… I errm.. I forgot my key! I couldn't get in" the tears are running down the black marks of her mascara

He smiles and squats down beside her brushing her hair back from her face "Thank god you're here! … You okay? I was so worried"

She nods "I'm sorry!" she wipes her face "You must hate me?"

"No!... No why would you say that?" he shakes his head "Hey come on .. don't cry.. It's nothing. It doesn't matter!" he looks at her and kisses her lips

"Stop!.. I look a mess!"

"You look perfect .. well maybe a bit of a mess" he smiles as he wipes the black streaks off her face then puts his hand softly on her neck.

She puts her hand to his cheek and gently rubs it "Oh god I'm so sorry .. Does it hurt?" she frowns as she touches the red swelling.

She looks up as a large figure of Jason stands over them with his arms folded "She okay?"

She looks away embarrassed and nods. Clay looks round "Yeah .. yeah we'll be good thanks!"

Jason nods as Clay gets up and opens the apartment door "Let's get you inside and get cleaned up!"

She nods as she picks her jacket and bag up wiping her face, but just before she heads in the door Jason puts his hand on her arm. He looks up checking Clay's inside the apartment  
"If find out Ash is right…" he stares at her "Well... I'm just warning you!" he looks at her long and hard

She frowns watching him "Really?... If Ash is right about what exactly?" she now gives Jason a hard stare back her tears seem to have stopped for now

"Oh, I think you know!"

She smiles "Well .. I guess we'll have to hope he's not... right!" she sighs "You know I think we can manage now… Clay has some making up to do!"

Jason frowns at her he doesn't like her tone

"So if you excuse me … Thanks for giving him a lift home.. Your concern is noted! Good night Jason!" she kisses him on the cheek as she closes the door.

Jason lets out a long sigh and rubs his head "Dammit!" He closes his eyes and takes a moment before heading back down the stairs.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Say it Chapter Text

"Mmmm!" Clay stirs and looks at his watch " Ann Marie" he softly whispers in her ear "Hey, you awake?" he pulls her hair to one side and kisses her neck.

"Mmm!... Yeah,just about"  
She turns over to face him, taking a deep breath as she sees how red and bruised his eye is.

"Oh god!" she puts her hand gently to his face and wrinkles up her nose "That looks so bad this morning" She closes her eyes for a moment "I'm so sorry" She kisses him "I don't know what came over me" she runs her fingers gently on it again "Geez! .. What the hell's everyone gonna say?"

"Hey!.. Don't worry!" he smiles kissing her back "I'm sure it's not that bad, and anyway…they all know what happened" he kisses her again " and … it's me they'll be laughing at not you!"

She frowns "Laughing at you? Why?.. Why would they do that?"

He smiles "Getting a black eye from a girl?!... Yeah Sonny's gonna live on this for weeks"

"Well he shouldn't!" her tone turns more aggressive now "I shouldn't have done it, so they shouldn't take it out on you!"

"Hey! .. It's okay .. I'm a big boy, I can handle Sonny!... Anyway, we made up now!"

"Yeah!... We sure did do a good job of that" she smiles "so….. maybe it was worth it!" she smiles again before gently kissing his lips.

"Yeah!" he touches his face. It feels sore now "Just… perhaps not do it again!" 

She pushes him back and straddles herself across him "Which part?" she kisses him on the lips then gently on his bruised eye "The hitting…." kissing him again "…. or the making up?"

He smiles at her "Definitely the hitting part .. the making up .. " he flips her over onto her back running his hands down her still naked body "…that part I don't mind doing again"

"Guess we should make up some more then?" she bites her lip before pulling him towards her and closing her eyes as he push hard against her "Oh God!"

She closes her eyes and digs her fingers deep into his neck, just as his phone starts to bleep. He leans over and looks at then starts to pull away as she frowns at it

"No! ….. Clay, don't stop!" she grips her nails deep in his neck as he tries to look at the text

"It's work… I…" he's in dilemma now as he kisses her. "Sorry"

"Clay!... oooo god! Please… just ignore it for now… You have to finish what you just started!" she digs her nails into his back and holds him in place

He sighs giving the phone a second glance then closes his eyes and continues to make love to her "but I do need to go soon!"

"No! …. Don't you dare.. not right now!… I need you!" she watches him seeing the conflict "Oh come on, please!.. You don't wanna go like this, do you?" she puts her hands down the covers of the bed touching him.

He smiles and closes his eyes to her touch "No!... but seriously... I can't be too long"

She sexily bites her lip "Well you better do your best then!"

She grips his neck with her nails pulling him in towards her. The pain from her grip makes him grimace for a moment, but soon the waves of pleasure take over.  
The more he pushes inside her the harder she grips his back and soon she's drawn blood on the skin as she rakes her nails down his flesh.

"Ooooooohhh GOD! Clay!... .ahhh!" She only let's go as she relaxes back into the pillow and rolls of and lays exhausted beside her, but he only takes a moment to relax before he jumps up to look at his phone.

It's half an hour since his text and he grabs his boxers and T- shirt

"Oh Shit!" she laughs

"What?" He frowns at her

"Oh god ….I'm sorry!" she laughs again as she points to his back.

It's full of deep scratch marks and he puts his hand on it as he turns to the mirror he can see the deep bloodied lines in his flesh "Shit!... You have to stop doing that!"

"Really?" she smiles at him "What … cos you don't like it?"

"I'm not saying that" he tries to hold back his smile thinking about what they just did "Just… it doesn't look good!"

She sits up looking at him leaning forward on her elbows watching him in the mirror. She sits up a bit more and runs her hand gently over his back "I think it looks great… and… hey… at least they know you're getting it right?"

"You are so bad…." He turns and kisses her "Look, I'm sorry.. I need a quick shower.. then I have to get off!"

"Sure!" her face drops "Clay …" she frowns "Do you have to go? .. Can't you tell them you're sick?"

He laughs "No!" he brushes her hair back from her face as she puts her hand gently on his bruised cheek "I have to go.. I'd have to see a medical officer and .. I don't think he's gonna say I'm sick do you?"

She shakes her head and sighs "But if you were sick or .. injured" she smiles "Then you wouldn't have to go?"

He leans over and kisses her again "I don't think scratches from sex count as injury"

She laughs "Oh well.. I tried!" she kisses him back " Do you know how long you'll be gone?"

"No! .. Sorry…. You know I don't know that… hopefully it won't be too long!"

She nods "Do you think you can call me?"

"Probably not" he watches her face drop "Look if I can I will!"

"Promise?"

"Promise.. Hey you gonna be alright?" he frowns as he watches her look change

She sighs "Yeah ..yeah I'll be fine… I need to go get my stuff from your Dads though .. and I probably should apologise to him"

Clay frowns "Just get your stuff. …. Don't worry about the apology .. Do you want me to send someone to get it?"

"No! … No, I'll be fine" she leans up and kisses him again

"Yeah well don't let him try anything … cos I'm watching him now!"

She nods "You need to go… before I keep you here and don't let you go!"

He nods back

"You know I might look into that!"

"What?" he frowns looking confused

"How to keep someone hostage!" she kneels up on the bed in front of him rubbing his chest then kisses him. She leaves his lips and kisses down his chest and works her way down his body

"Oh god!" he closes his eyes at the anticipation "Ann Marie…" he puts his hand on the back of her head "Seriously…. I need to go…"

She looks up at him "Yeah, you do!" but she doesn't stop and continues further down his body.

He closes his eyes "oh !... shit! Uuuhhhhh!"  
He can't stop her now and he throws his phone on the bed. Embracing what she's doing he gives in running his hands through her hair.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Hey Spenser!... You're late! Everything alright?" Jason frowns at him

"Yeah!" Clay smiles and looks round the guys then pulls his T Shirt over his head to get changed

"What the hell?" Jason frowns "I thought you said everything was alright?...What the hell's going on there?" he awkwardly points at the deep scratch marks on his back

Sonny laughs .. "Well to me by the looks of it, everything's just fine!" they all snigger "Sure looks like it was worth getting punched for… Hooey! You know I've paid for them services" everyone looks round frowning at Sonny "What?... I'm just saying" he shrugs and laughs as Clay throws his T Shirt at him

"Yeah milk it Sonny.. Do your worst .. I can handle it.. . You know.. you're so predictable!"

Sonny shakes his head and picks up Clay's Tee and throws it back "Hey Clay .. you know the make up sex that's always the best part of any fight… just remember that for future reference!"

Jason looks round "Okay enough!" he looks at Clay's eye "Hopefully there's not going to be any more of that .. right?"

Clay nods

"Right….… we're late let's get on this"

Sonny walks past and slaps Clay hard on the back "Owww!...Yeah thanks for that!"

"No problem … You're welcome…. Hey Clay…I'll go check if there's any blondes in the briefing room for ya … Just to be sure you don't get beaten up!" Sonny winks at him

"Ha ha! You think you're so funny!" he laughs as he throws his shoe at the door as Sonny exits

"Missed me! Pity your girlfriend's so good at hitting the target.. eh!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Ash stops and looks up from the computer as he thinks he hears a noise in the house. He listens for a moment, shaking his head at his mistake then he continues to type before stopping again.

He did he did hear a noise and he takes a breath and gets up still listening

"Hello!... Is there someone there?" he frowns nervously as he stops in the hallway and listens harder. Then he suddenly turns around. "Ann Marie!"  
He lets out a sigh "What the ….?" he has a sudden shudder come over him as he sees her standing there in the hall doorway

"What the hell are you doing here?... and how did you get in?"

She smiles "Oh relax… I had key cut"

"You had a key cut? What the hell… why?"

She laughs "Why? Because we were staying here.. it made life easier" she frowns at his face "Oh my god Ash, sometimes you act so stupid!"  
She laughs again watching him as he looks anxious "You okay?.. You look tense. Is your shoulder hurting? Maybe I should get you something"

"No!.. No, you need to go.. you can't be here!" he swallows as he watches her, she's putting him on edge "Where's Clay?"

She laughs "You need to relax …. don't worry about Clay.. he's at work or spun up, whatever you call it. Being a hero… It's just me here" she smiles

"What do you want"?

She keeps smiling as she bites her lip watching him "I don't know. Why, what are you offering?" she laughs as she sees his panic "Oh relax… Nothing!" she dismisses him "I just came to get my stuff… my make up ..clothes.. _hairbrush_!" she's toying with him and laughs as she watches his reaction

He nods "Yeah…. fine.. just get it and go!"

"Thanks .. I won't take long"

He nods again as she heads upstairs

o-o-o-o-o-o

He takes a deep breath and relaxes  
"Oh god!" he rubs his head and heads into the kitchen to get some painkillers for his shoulder. As he drinks the water and washes the pills down he stops to listen. He can hear the sound of running water

"What the …" he stands and listens it sounds like the shower running "What the hell is she doing" He puts down the glass and head up the stairs

"Ann Marie?" he calls out but gets no answer. As he gets nearer to the bathroom door he can hear the shower running and singing

He knocks on the door "Ann Marie!... Are you in there?"

"WHAT?" She calls over the running water she can't hear him "ASH!... WHAT? WHAT did you say?"

She frowns and turns the shower off grabbing a towel and holding it against her she opens the door her hair still dripping wet she rubs it  
"What?" She frowns at him stood in the doorway

He gulps looking at her stood in a towel " What the hell are you doing?"

She laughs "ermm.. Having a shower!"

"Yeah I know that!... but why?"

"Because….. I have a meeting this afternoon and my make up and hair things are here .. and didn't seem much point in going back to Clay's to get showered, when I can easily get ready here"

"What the hell?.. Ann Marie .. you .. you can't do this!"

She shrugs "Why?"

"Because … because you can't .. it's not appropriate"

She watches him and seeing the tense frown makes her smiles as she nods in agreement. Then without warning she drops her towel in front him  
"I'm not appropriate?" she laughs "Is that what you said?"

Ash takes a moment looking at her nakedness stood in front of him then he closes his eyes and looks away "Ann Marie get dressed!"

She smiles again "Oh Ash!...Why so embarrassed?.. You've seen me without clothes before"

Ash keeps his eyes closed "Because this is wrong now! I mean it … get dressed!" He bends down and picks the towel up and hands it to her.

She smiles as she wraps it round herself "I never remember you this shy before"

"You weren't sleeping with my son then!"

Her smiles turns to a frown "You know… I wouldn't be sleeping with Clay, if you'd just returned my calls"

He stares at her "What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

She shrugs and doesn't answer him

"Ann Marie if you don't want to really be with Clay.. then stop seeing him! … He'll get hurt.. you'll hurt him. He falls in love too easily!"

"Whose fault is that?...hmmm?.. Not mine.. it's yours .. _YOU _caused this Ash when you cut me out of your life…You didn't give me any choices"

"Ann Marie, we've been over this .. this can't happen! .. You and me.. it's done and you know why!"

She smiles and lets out a long sigh "Yeah .. I know what you said!"

Her face has no emotion now as she watches him, and he watches her. He rubs his shoulder again the painkillers don't see to be having any effects

"You okay?" she frowns at him "Ash .. are you in pain"?

He nods "a bit…it's alright don't worry …. I'll be fine!"

She puts her hand on his arm "Ash .. let me look!"

He pulls away

"Ash… please!... You're in pain!" she rubs his arm and puts her hand on his cheek "Ash…"

He pushes her away "Just stop!"

She drops her towel again and he stand for a moment just watching her, looking at her body. He feels ashamed of himself, but he can't stop looking at her.

She smiles knowing what he's thinking, and she leans forward putting her hand on her cheek. An inch away from his face.  
Her eyes staring into his then she brushes her lips on his, but she doesn't actually kiss him.

She takes hold of his hand and puts it on the naked curve of her waist as she smiles before she kisses his neck. He takes a deep focused breath and closes his eyes.

She pulls away and biting her lip saying nothing. Just stands watching him, smiling as she feels his gentle touch on her skin. She puts her hand on top of his linking her fingers through his as he runs his other hand over her wet curves.  
Then he leans into kiss her and as his lips touch hers they are interrupted by the doorbell.

He takes a breath and pulls back realising this utter mistake

"Ash!" she frowns at him "Ignore it!" she pulls at his shirt making it all wet "Just leave it!"

The doorbell rings again " I can't I need to answer it … You need to get dressed!... This was a _mistake!_"

She sneers and pulls away as he heads down the hallway.  
"You wanted me!... I know you did … I won't forget it!" she calls behind him

He ignores her and carries on down the stairs trying not to think about what he's just done. He straightens his clothes and runs his hand through his hair before he opens the door

"Oh!" He frowns she sees two police officers at the door

"Mr Spenser. Could we come in?"

"Yeah! .. Yeah sure .. everything okay?"

"Yes, sir if we could talk inside?"

Ann Marie quietly make her way to the top of the stairs, still only wrapped in a towel.

She looks through the balustrade rails and can see the police at the door. She frowns and kneels down listening, but she can't quite hear what they're talking about

"Yeah, yeah sure come through!"  
Ash opens the door. He looks up the stairs and he gulps thinking about Ann Marie in the bathroom and then he spots her at the top of the stairs. A feeling of panic rises inside of him and he stares at her as she watches him.

"Come through!" he takes the through to the living room

She frowns wondering what they want with Ash as she tries harder to listen but can't, it frustrates her, and she comes down the stairs.

Stood in the doorway still only wrapped in her towel she stands watching Ash and the police officers.

"Ash? .. Is everything alright?"

The police officers look up and see her "Oh….sorry sir .. we thought you were alone!"

Ash coughs "errrm…No!"

He feels awkward now "No.. this is errm.. my son's girlfriend.. They're staying with me while .. I recover" he frowns looking at her trying to question what she's doing.

She smiles "Sorry I was having a shower and heard voices I wondered if he was okay!"

"Oh yes Mam!.. We just had some information on the stabbing"

"You do?" she frowns and looks at Ash

"Yes Mam… we think we've arrested someone in connection with your attack"

Ann Marie smiles and looks at Ash "Really? .. That's great news.. isn't it Ash…. They have someone "

"errrm… yeah that's.. . that's .. great!... Who?"

"We don't know at this stage if he was involved but .. we picked him up for some similar robberies in the area and whilst he's not admitted to stabbing you, yet, he has to some other recent phone robberies. So, we're hoping with time we should be able to get more details"

Ash takes a breath "So you're not sure it was him?"

"Well .. not one hundred percent but… time will tell .. we found black clothing in his possession and he fits the description so.. its hopeful we got him. Anyway, we just wanted to come in person so you could relax and …. Look I just wondered while I was here… would you sign a copy of your book for me.. My wife loves it!" he smiles awkwardly

"Err mm yeah sure!" Ash frowns and Ann Marie smiles at him

"Thank you much appreciated.. Look . we'll get off. If we get any further information we'll be in touch. Sir.. Mam!" he smiles at Ann Marie as they get up to leave

As they head out the door Ann Marie smiles watching Ash's anxious look "That's good news isn't it?"

Ash nods thinking about what they just told him and the implications about what he thought

She heads back up the stairs as she gets to the top the door knocks again. Ash opens it thinking the police may have forgotten something and Ann Marie turns to check

"Oh!...errrm.. Stella! Hi…" Ash frowns really uncomfortably now as he looks back up the stairs to Ann Marie stood there only in her towel.  
She smiles loving the look on his face as she sees Stella at the door.

"Err mm.. am I interrupting?" Stella frowns and looks confused

"No! No, it's fine come in .. Ann Marie was just… the police were just here.. she errm. .. her things were here she has a meeting .. please come in!"  
Ash falters and flusters as he tries to explain why Ann Marie's in a towel on his stairs.

"Clay here?" Stella looks around

"No… no he's errr… he's on a spin up" Ash is panicked now he knows this really doesn't look good

"So, you're alone?"

"Yeah .. Ann Marie's leaving for her meeting .. aren't you?" he turns to her

"Am I?" She bites her lip and smiles "Oh yeah… I'll go back upstairs and do my hair and leave you to .. Nice to see you again _Stella!_" she glares at her

"What can I do for you Stella?"

"I guess you can't really talk now" she nods towards where Ann Marie was standing " but … I was just coming to see if you were okay?... after what happened in the bar, and to tell you I'm heading back but…. I should be back in a week or so .. if you had any problems…that you need to talk about" she coughs and looks back to the stairs. They both know what she means

Ash nods "That's great!... Thanks for letting me know.. I'll err speak to you soon, I guess!"

"Ash be careful" she frowns, she doesn't know why she says but for some reason she feels the need  
"Let me know Clay's alright, I think its best if I don't contact him for now…. the way things were the other night"

Ash nods and kisses her cheek "Thanks.. and sure… like I say I'll be in touch.. and don't worry about Clay .. I'm watching him"

She nods "BYE!.. Ann Marie" she calls up the stairs smiles at Ash and leaves.  
He gets the impression there was something more she wanted to discuss but with Ann Marie here it was difficult.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

He turns rapidly and closes the door as he hears a large crash coming from upstairs. He stops to listen  
"Oh shit." He turns and hurries back up the stairs.

He finds Anne Marie in the bathroom with a bottle broken in the sink and her hand bleeding from a large cut to her palm.

He frowns at her "What the hell happened?" looking her in the face, he can't tell if she's crying or angry "Ann Marie, what did you do?"

Looking down at the shattered glass bottle and the blood dripping from her hand onto the white of the sink, he grabs a towel and puts it tight round the cut "Come here, we need to sort this!"

She shakes her head "Why was she here?"

"Who?" he frowns for a moment "Stella? .. She…." He sighs "she was just saying goodbye she's leaving today… that's all"

"Why did she have to come here? Why was she seeing you?"

"She just.. …it doesn't matter… Let me look at that!"  
He unwraps the towel from her hand. The cut is deep and bleeding quite badly. It looks more deliberate than accidental. "We may need to get that looked at!"

She shakes her head "No!...No, it' ll be fine"

He takes some first aid supplies out of the cabinet in the bathroom and starts to bandage it up. 

She smiles and touches his face as she watches him caring for her hand. He's finding it difficult as he struggles with the pain in his shoulder.

"Here let me" She holds the bandage round while he ties it. Once its nearly dressed she rubs his good shoulder, massaging it with her hand softly.

"Ann Marie… Stop!" he stands up straight watching her as he lets go of her bandaged hand

She doesn't say a word just keep watching him as she puts her hand to his cheek to now caress his face "You always did look after me.. when anything happened" she keeps staring at him longingly and he watches her big blue eyes "so…"

"So?" he frowns confused "So what?"

"So…You owe me an apology"

"I do? For what?"

She smiles "Ash!...The police said they have someone for stabbing you.. so … it wasn't me, was it!" she smiles again "So you owe me an apology" Without warning she drops her towel in front of him "How are you going to make it up to me Ash?... For the lies you told about me?"

He swallows hard, his heads in turmoil telling him it's so wrong to look, telling himself to get out of there and leave but it's just so hard as he looks at her physical presence, her nakedness, her body, her eyes all willing him to touch her.

"This can't happen .. you know that" he takes a deep breath "You're seeing Clay now"

She nods "Yeah I am" she continues to stand there and stare at him "But you know you forced me into that… If only you'll admit it"

"I didn't force you to sleep with my son"

She laughs "You wouldn't take my calls. You wouldn't see me. You wouldn't answer my emails! Ash, what was what was I supposed to do? … You cut me out of your life"

"Ann Marie …" he's lost for words and while he flounders she puts her hand on his neck and pulls his lips to hers.

She kisses him so passionately and for a moment he holds himself rigid. He doesn't move or respond but soon his body, his desires, his natural urges take over and he puts his hand on her naked body.

First gently and tentatively on her waist while he still tries to resist her but then as rush of hormones takes over him. He can't help but put his hands on her breast just softly and gently touching and teasing her. Then he pulls her towards him, and she smiles as she kisses him him back. He pushes her against the bathroom counter.  
Now in a frenzy she's unbuckling his pants not letting go from kissing him. It's all a whirlwind of kissing and touching, of emotions and desires. He wants her body so badly now he loses all sense of right from wrong and while part of him still tries to resist she knows its too late and she's got him.

Then she stops. Holding him back away from her, looking him deep in the eyes.

"You _want_ me?"

He nods

"Then say it!... Say you want me?"

He resists shaking his head as she puts her hand on his holding it to her body.

He closes his eyes gently touching and feeling her, the softness of her warm skin. She moves his hand over breast over her nipple her own desire for him obvious.  
More and more he's telling himself how wrong this is but somehow that makes the want even stronger. He fights again with his conscience but he's failing.

"Say it! " she frowns at him an uncomfortable tone about her now "ASH!..._SAY IT!_ Say you want me"

He swallows hard watching her blue eyes flick back and forward reading him. He nods "I want you!"

She smiles and pushes him back as she heads out of the bathroom door. He frowns for a moment wondering what game she's playing now.

"Come on then!" she beckons him "You're not having me here. I want to be back in your bed!"

He watches as the curves of her naked body leave out of the bathroom the door and as it closes for a moment he looks himself in the mirror and tries to gather his thoughts. Wondering should he or shouldn't he do this. Knowing full well just how wrong it is but, the stirring in his groin the rush of excitement he can't fight it anymore  
"Dammit!" he heads out of the bathroom door and down towards the bedroom.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Ash wakes later in the afternoon. He's still naked in his bed and he looks around but there's no sign of Ann Marie or any of her things.

He looks at his watch on the dresser "Shit" he rubs his head "How the hell long have I been asleep"

He rubs his shoulder and picks up the painkillers by the bed. He frowns not remembering them being there early. His shoulder aches and he takes a couple more as he tries to clear the fuzzy and clouded feeling in his head as he tries to remember what went on earlier.

He remembers the Ann Marie's naked body. He remember the blood from the cut on her hand.

He gets up and heads to the bathroom it's all clean and tidy the towels folded and put away. He sits on the edge of the bathtub and tries to focus.  
His head throbs as he bends down to pick up a shard of glass from the floor.

"Oh my god!" He puts his head in his hands and closes his eyes. He's totally ashamed of himself


	8. Chapter 8

** Chapter 8: I have to get back **

"Hey sleepy head!"  
Ann Marie strokes his hair gently, as he slowly but groggily, opens his eyes. She smiles watching him as he moves himself round. His body aches and he stretches is it out gently.

"Ash!" she frowns watching him stir from this deep sleep on the couch "Ash, are you awake?"

_"Hmmm!_" he rubs his head thinking that he really doesn't feel well "What the hell?...Ann Marie?" he frowns at her as he tries to focus "How long have a been asleep?"

She looks at her watch "A while now! I let myself in" she smiles again "Hey… don't worry. You probably needed it ..all those painkillers, I guess" 

Although confused he begins to focus and watches as she stands up from where she's been sitting on the arm of the couch.

"So… What do you think?" she does a twirl in a circle in front of him

"What?" he frowns even more confused as he looks at her

"My dress?!… What do you think? ... I bought something special as thought we might go out!"

"Go out?" he shakes his head rubbing it. For some reason he still feels groggy "Ann Marie, go out where?... What the hell are you talking about?"

"Ash!…. I thought we might go out for dinner, tonight?"

"Dinner!. Who... you and me?"

She's getting annoyed at his constant lack of understanding "Yes… you and me.. I wanted to celebrate" she smiles as watches him come round but he's still rubbing his arm in pain "Here.. takes these. They'll help with the pain" she opens the small bottle and hands him two white tablets

He nods and drinks down the pills with the water from the table. He questioned them before but now he just takes them while he looks at her trying to focus  
"Celebrate?...Celebrate what?"

She laughs "Ash!... For god sake … Wake up!"

"Sorry . .. I don't understand what you're talking about" 

Her smiles drops in serious annoyance now and she frowns at him " To celebrate... us getting back together!"

"Sorry ...What!?"  
Her statement certainly wakes him up and he sits bolt upright looking at her "Getting back together?... Ann Marie, what the hell gave you that idea?.. What makes you think we're getting back together?"

She sighs and steps back. Seriously grieved by his attitude she swallows her disappointment at his reply before she answers him  
"Well err mm … with what happened between us earlier?... You know.. I kinda thought it meant….meant that we were … " she shrugs

His immediate reaction is to laugh. He blinks at her, watching her reaction. He runs his hand through his hair and then realises she's serious "Oh god!" he rubs his head again "I don't feel so well"

She smiles "That's okay .. we can stay in. If you're not well, I don't mind. Hey, I can still wear my dress" she tips her head playfully to one side "or….. I could take it off" she bites her lips and smiles sexily as she starts to undo the zip at the side.

"NO!" he puts his hand up on hers halting the movement of the zip "Leave it on!" he swallows hard again before he speaks "Ann Marie, you need to leave!"

"Leave?" she watches him confused "I don't understand… Why?.. Ash what's going on?" she studies him she just doesn't understand his reaction.

"Ahh!" Ash rubs his head trying to ease the throbbing "Clay!... You know.. my son?"

"Clay!" she sighs "Don't worry, Clay's not back yet.. and look I thought we could tell him together ...cos I know he's not going to take it well but,… well I hope he'll eventually understand. He'll see we were meant to be together"

_"ARE YOU CRAZY!_"  
He stands up in front of her, watching her in disbelief "We are _not_ telling Clay about this!.. About any of it!... Anne Marie, do you understand me?" it's his turn to be angry. His head hurts and he sits down again.

She doesn't like the tone he takes with her, nor does she understand or accept what he's saying  
"But… how are we going to be together…. I mean if, if we don't tell him?" she frowns now as she starts to think over his words.  
She smiles awkwardly "Okay! Okay I'll tell him it's over ...Yeah, you're right, I can't expect you to do it!"

He shakes his head at her "Have you actually lost your mind?"

"Ash!.. Don't speak to me like that!…. Look, you know I really like him, and I don't want to hurt him any more than you but.. Ash.. it has to be done!"  
She puts her hand on his face, but he just pushes her off "Ash! ... If we're going to be together I have to tell him! ... You know that?"

"Oh geez!" he sighs again watching her. His head really aches now "Ann Marie, today...today was a big mistake! .. Oh god! Today should never have happened.. We are _not_ getting back together!"

"What?!"  
Her face drops and he can see a rage brewing inside as it dawns on her he's serious " What do you mean we're not getting back together?...How was it a mistake?"

"Ann Marie…" he pauses he can see he has to think carefully about his words "It's me... not you!"

"Oh _MY GOD_! Are you serious?" she stands looking at him in angry disbelief "_DON'T!_... Don't you dare say that!…. _NO!_ …No .. you wanted me! .. You told me .. Oh my god!" he can feel the sound of her shock and anger " No!" she shakes her head "No!... I'm not accepting that!"

She takes deep breathes trying to calm herself "You're just saying that .. because of Clay!.. Because you don't wanna hurt him .. Ash …. " she squats down beside him "Ash, it's fine … I understand" her eyes flick from side to side trying to read his expression "I'll do it … I'll tell him!"  
she puts her hands either side of his face, holding his cheeks she tries to kiss him.

"**GET OFF ME!"** he pushes her away

She sits back on the floor shaking her head "No!… _Nooooo!_" she screams as she points her finger in his face "Don't you do this to me!"

The look of rage he can see in her face scares even Ash. "Ann Marie, I'm sorry … I don't wanna hurt you, but we can't do this .. I...I can't lose my son over you"

She nods grinding her teeth "You son of a bitch!...You used me!"

She takes a deep breath "You got what you wanted and now.. now I'm nothing?" she doesn't move just stands staring at him with this look "NO!.. No" she shakes her head trying to work out what he's telling and why

"I thought you wanted me … you said you did. I …." She can't get her words out now "No!...You'll pay for this"

She picks the thick crystal drinking glass from the desk and throws it as hard as she can at him. It doesn't hit him full on as he ducks in time but it does catch the corner of his head. The force splits the skin on his forehead cutting it.

She just looks at him as he holds his head. He can feel the blood and he runs his fingers over the sore egg sized lump that's risen, but before he can do anything she's over hitting him hard on the face.

She continues lashing out, hitting and punching him as he struggles with his injured shoulder to hold her back.  
Eventually his strength manages to overpower her and he holds her down on the floor. For a few moments more, she acts like a wildcat screaming and crying till he finally gets her under control.

"Ann Marie, calm down!… I did love you...once... but this… this is why we couldn't be together anymore"

Her eyes flick back and forward trying to read him and the only way Ash can hold her still is to put his arm across her throat.

She still fights and struggles but it's harder for her now without hurting herself "Ash get offfff me!" she screams coughing as she chokes against the force of his forearm.

"Calm down then!" he takes breath "Ann Marie, for god sake ..what's wrong with you!" he breathes deeper as he holds her, worried about what will happen if he lets go.

She screams and claws at his hand now and he grimaces with the pain. His shoulder feel like its burning, but he uses the weight of his body to hold her still until she concedes for a moment.

She watches his face her eyes are searching him, questioning what's gone wrong with them. "I love you.. don't you see that?"

He nods "I know! You do but…this.." he shakes his head.

She puts her hand on his cheek and leans forward as much she can to try and kiss him. He won't let her and forces her back.

She digs her nails deep in his cheek  
"Ah fuck!" he slaps her hard. It's a involuntary reaction to the pain "_STOP_ _IT!_" he pushes his arm back against her again.

The living room door hinge squeaks and they both look round to see Clay standing in the doorway

"What the **_hell_** is going on here?" Clay frowns at them, standing and watching for a moment, trying to work out why Ash is laid on top of her with his arm across her throat.

Ann Marie looks at Clay then back at Ash. He panics as he sees that look in her eyes. She smiles at him  
"Clay help me!" she cries putting her hand out

Clay is still rooted to the spot, still trying to assess what's happening in front of him and then what to do then about it. He takes a deep breath, mainly to calm his anger before he pulls Ash off and throws him backwards.

Ash lands with a thud on his bad shoulder "Aarrgghhhhh!"  
Seeing Clay's look he realises that this does not look good "Son!… Please... don't listen to her!"

"_WHAT_…. the hell are you doing?" Clay leans over him and thumps him. Ash tries to protect his bad arm whilst trying to cover himself from the blows that Clay rains in

Ann Marie takes a breath as she watches. Clay looks round at her "He attacked me.. I tried to stop him... I told him I wasn't interested"

Clay hits him again this time with more force.  
For a moment Ann Marie takes delight in watching this but then her thoughts, her feelings for Ash turn to horror as she realises Clay might actually kill him

She holds back as long as she dare before she calls out  
"_CLAY!_ .. Stop! .. Don't! … Please, don't!" she shakes her head as he looks round at her "Baby don't ..."

She gets hold of her arm and snuggles herself against Clay's chest. He stops, taking a breath gathering himself, then he wraps his arms round and kisses her head. "I'm sorry" he kisses her again "Are you alright?"

She nods "I came back to get some things I left and...and he tried it on. I told him I wasn't interested .. but he wouldn't stop Thank god ..you came!" She wraps her arms tight around Clay "I don't know what I'd have done if you hadn't come .. I think he's been drinking or taken something"

**"What?!**" Ash looks at them both "Clay!...She's lying!.. Clay, you have to listen!...This was her!.. She hit me with that glass"

Clay looks at it and then at his head

"I did yes.. to get you off me!" she looks at Clay her eyes wide and looking at his "He's right I did!"

Clay looks at Ash "What the hell did you think you were you doing?" he's still fuming "Ann Marie go to the car!"

"What?" she frowns watching Ash, wondering what Clay's going to do. Wondering if she's pushed Clay too far

"Just do it!"

She gulps "Clay just leave it now" she stands in front of him begging him to stop "It's fine .. I'm alright. Let's just go!"

"NO! .. Go and get in the car. I need to deal with him"

She feels sick now as she wipes her nose on her hand and looks at Ash. She stares worriedly. Her look telling him she's sorry but that he's to blame for whatever may come now.

He closes his eyes and shakes his head at her. "I can't believe you've said this!...Clay! Honestly she's lying… please don't listen to her!" he shakes his head again "Ann Marie tell him.. tell him the truth!"

"You….._SHUT_ your mouth… don't speak to her or to me!.. We're done now! Do you understand? Do not come near me, _EVER!_ You stay away! You make me sick .. You sell everything out!"

"Clay .. son!" Ash sits up to face them "Please.. I would never…"

"What?... You never what?.. Hurt me? ...You want me to believe that?" he holds his fist shaking his head "For god sake.. she's _my_ girlfriend….but no…. you and your ego" he laughs "Did you seriously think she'd go with you? That she could ever want you!"

"Clay… "Ash bites his tongue he doubts he will believe him even if he does tell him the truth right now.

Clay laughs again "You think you're something, a famous author.. on T V… You're nothing! You know what …. I pity you.. you've got nothing!"

Ann Marie watches from the door. It hurts her heart to hear Clay talk to Ash like that, to see the look on Ash's face. She swallows hard she thought she would be pleased him getting his comeuppance for dumping her, but she doesn't.

Clay puts his hand on her back and leads her out of the door.

Ash is still sat on the floor rubbing his arm "Shit!" he shakes head as he takes stock of whats just happened.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

They get back in the apartment they haven't said a word on the way back. There's an awkwardness between them

"Clay, I…." she pauses and watches him wondering what thoughts are going through his head right now. Wondering if he believes her and what she should say.

She just smiles and brushes his curls back before she kisses him on the lips "It's not your fault.. I mean don't blame yourself"

He watches her staring at her face, taking in her blue eyes watching him. He's not sure he did blame himself, but now she's said it maybe he was at fault for not dealing with his father before

"Hey!" he shakes his head wrapping her in his arms _"Shhh!_ … I can't believe he did this!" He can feel the anger inside him bubbling to the surface again but as she wraps her arms round his waist and relaxes into his chest the feelings subside.

He leans forward and kisses her and as he does he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. Much to her annoyance he pulls it out and checks it  
"Sonny!"

She frowns "What does he want?"

"Nothing! It doesn't matter"

She frowns as she watches him put it back in his pocket "No.. what?" she puts her hand and pulls it out "What does he mean? …. **_Where are you?_.**.. Where were you supposed to be?"

"Like I said it doesn't matter now … I was just gonna meet up with the guys for a drink …that's all" he kisses her again "but I can leave it .. I don't have to go"

She pulls a face wrinkling up her nose. She can see it bothers him not to go  
"I thought it would be nice to stay in?... I mean after the day I've had .. They've had you for three days and I haven't seen you. Probably best if you don't go tonight"

He nods in reluctant agreement. Being honest he was looking forward to sinking a few drinks and forgetting the mission that they just headed back from "Yeah you're right… I won't go.. well perhaps we'll see later?"

"Oh … I think you'll be busy later…. Don't you?" she smiles unzipping her dress "I need to hang this up .. If I'm not going out now!"

"Oh..that might be a good idea" he puts his hands on her hips as she stands with the dress halfway round her waist. Leaning in he kisses her as she slowly backs away to the bedroom

"Look, why don't you order some takeout... save you cooking?" she smiles as she stands in the bedroom doorway taking her dress off. She takes a hanger from the closet "I have some work emails and stuff to finish up.. so why don't you have a shower and sort the food .. then I'll be done"

"Yeah sure! We're okay though?" he frowns as he adjusts the excitement that he felt in his pants for a moment there "You seem .. a little upset?"

"No, I'm good. Just have a shower!" she puts her bathrobe on and walks forward to kiss him "I'm glad we made up. Your dad, … it really wasn't your fault" she smiles and sits down with her laptop.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Clay comes out the shower. He's dressed and just finishing off drying his hair with the towel.

"Look I'll go out and get the foo… " he stops mid-sentence as he watches Ann Marie, now sound asleep on the couch. Her laptop still in position on her lap where she sits the couch

He glances at the screen with her presentation on it and smiles. He puts it on the side table and lifts her legs round so she's lying straight. She stirs slightly as he moves her but doesn't actually wake.

He looks at his watch then at his phone, as he pulls the blanket from the back of the chair and puts it over her, kissing her lightly on the cheek  
"Won't be long!"

He picks up his keys and heads out.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Ohhhhh! Finally … I thought she'd locked you up! Get the man a beer!" Sonny cheers as Clay walks over to their table. He pulls at Clay's T-Shirt "Lemme check!"

"Check?...Check what?" Clay frowns at him as he pulls Sonny's hand off his clothes.

"For more scratch marks!" he turns and laughs to the rest of the team "We need to see what you been up to all this time… I mean I'm wonderin' why ya'all late gettin' here"

" Oh yeah…. You're so funny!.. No, I'm serious. Look I'm just stoppin' by for a quick beer cos I really can't be too long… she errm.. well I just can't be long"

Sonny puts his hand on Clay's shoulder and pushes him down into the chair beside him. "Hell Clay, after the shit shower for the past three days, you'll be as long as it takes!" Everyone nods "I'll get the shots in!"

"Sonny really I can't" Clay shakes his head but the look on Sonny's face let's him know he won't be able to argue.

Jason nods as his number 6. He can see the anxious look on his face as he watches him cautiously look at his phone "You okay?"

Clay looks round at Jason "Yeah!.. Yeah sure..I'm good" he can see by Jason's look that he doesn't really believe him so Clay protests some more "No really... just errm.. you know.." he scratches his head embarrassed "I kinda sneaked out" even Clay laughs at the thought "She wanted to .. stay in" he coughs " but fell asleep" he laughs again nervously.

Jason frowns, nodding, trying to sympathise with the dilemma "She had a problem with you coming out? … I mean being with your team?"

"No!...No course not" Clay shakes his head and drinks from the beer that Sonny's just put in front of him. Truth is, he suspects she will have a problem so he's hoping to be back before she wakes up.

"Toast!" Jason raises his bottle "To BRAVO team!" he looks round "Let no one come between brothers!"

"BRAVO TEAM!" They all cheer

"Now Sonny, where's those shots?" Jason smiles

After the finish up the second tray of shots Sonny leans back in his chair and pulls some cards out of his jacket "Sooooo...you know what?" fanning the cards in front of them "I got VIP passes for Secret Seven!"

Trent and Brock stand up and grab theirs. Jason laughs as Sonny hands him one and Ray shakes his head but takes his. Clay nods reluctantly as Sonny drops one in his lap "No Sonny, not for me!.. I can't. I need to get back. sorry but I... can't!" Clay shakes his head

Jason shakes his head "Get them shots down you! You're coming!" Jason pushes the glasses in front of him and raises his own glass "Secret Seven!… BRAVO TEAM!... Oorah!"

They all raise their glasses "BRAVO... Oorah!"

Sonny lets out a long howl and Clay smiles before knocking his shot back

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Clay stumbles into the apartment as quietly as he can. It's not easy. He's unsteady on this feet after the amount of alcohol he's consumed and with the darkness of the room he takes his cell out

"Oh my god, 4:30am!" He rubs his head as he looks at the screen, using the light from it to find the couch. He crashes down, and is sound asleep nearly as soon as his body hits the soft pillows.

Ann Marie stares through the doorway into the darkness as she hears him.

She's been sat up in the bed waiting since she woke on the couch at midnight. The tiredness she feels is now compounding her feelings of anger. She continues to sit silently as she listens to the deep breathing sounds coming from Clay now.

o-o-o-o-o-o

As the morning light come through the apartment, the smell of fresh coffee and his cell vibrating in his pocket wakes Clay.

"Ahhh!" He rubs his head and looks up opening his eyes slowly to the brightness "Oh god!"

He lays there silently, moving as little as possible as pulls his cell out and looks at it "Oh Shit!...You have to be kidding me!" he now has to focus and get himself together as it looks like they're being spun up again.

Realisng Ann Marie's up he looks around towards her as she's busying herself in the kitchen  
"Hey!"

She nods but doesn't say a word as he turn on his side to look at her "You okay?" for some reason he already anticipates the answer from the look on her face.

"Where were you?" she frowns as she looks back at the cups in the sink not turning to make contact with him.

"Oh errm …" he coughs before explaining himself ". I went for drinks with the guys … you know you were asleep so I didn't think you'd mind"

She silently nods watching him before she turns and answers him "You went without saying anything? Didn't you think to tell me?"

He can tell she's not happy "I know…I guess I should have done...Sorry.… " he can tell she's the annoyed as she looks round he can see the deep frown on her brow "but I really didn't think you'd mind"

She bites her lip and changes the subject "You want coffee?" She picks up the pot and smiles as she places a mug on the small side table in front of him. 

"Yeah sure. Thanks... That be great!" he sits up and puts his hand on the mug to hold it "Look I'm sorry about last night .. like I said… Arrrghhhhhh"

He lets out a sudden sharp, pain ridden cry as she pours the fresh brewed hot coffee, not into the mug but straight on his hand "Oh _my god! _…Shit! What the hell are you doing!"

"You didn't think I'd mind" she glares as she empties the full contents of the pot before he can do anything to stop her. She does nothing to help with the burning sensation painfully biting into his flesh.

He jumps up holding his hand and runs to the kitchen sink. Running the cold water over it to alleviate the scolding heat "Ann Marie... What the hell?!" he turns looking at her as he continues to run the coldness on the burn.

She shows no emotion "I asked you why did you think I wouldn't mind?...but you didn't give me an answer. Why is that?.. Hmm? Tell me!"

He gulps as he watches the sheer look of anger in her face "I … I just thought you wouldn't mind.. because you were asleep… I mean…"

"But I did mind! ..I mind that you didn't tell me." she takes a deep breath "You know Clay... The Team have you when you're away .. but when you come home…then you belong to me.. and that means telling me where you're going. I don't want to share my boyfriend with a ... team of guys"

Something alerts his sense and he duck down just a second before the whole glass coffee pot comes towards him. As it hits the kitchen cupboard the glass shatters into large shards all over the kitchen.

She runs her hand through her hair "If you'd just woken me up… You know I'd have come with you." She shakes her head and looks at her watch. Now picking her bag,that's by the door up, she undoes the latch holding it shut

"I have a meeting." she takes a long deep breath "We'll discuss this attitude of yours about our relationship more when I get back… or I guess" she sighs again and looks at his cell as it lays on the table " .. when you get back. Again!… Oh, and…. clear that up before you go!"  
She points to the glass on the kitchen floor as she opens the apartment door and leaves. He stands in shock and disbelief just watching her walk out and leave.

As the door slams he looks back as his red and now blistered hand  
"Shit!" wrapping it in a wet tea towel he's wondering what he's going to do now as he sees his phone vibrate again "Dammit"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Trent looks at his hand. Applying a cream, then a thin gauze bandage as Jason watches on.

"How the hell did you spill coffee on it like that?"

"You know.. just .. wasn't looking… what with being late last night… I guess I wasn't awake when my phone went off.. Just a damn stupid accident" he laughs "Couldn't believe I did it!" he grimaces as he flexes the bandage now wrapped softly around it.

Jason shakes his head and frowns at Trent "He gonna be good to go?"

Trent nods "Yeah, he was lucky it's just a surface burn really but.. see how you get on holding your weapon, then we'll assess it from there"

Jason shakes his head "You need to get with it .. we can't be affording for all these stupid injuries .. I can't be a team member down right now, need your head right…Clay get in the game!"

"Yeah ... yeah I will. I'm fine though!" he looks as they both stare at him "I am!" he can feel his cell messages bleeping in his pocket and he just ignores it

"You gonna answer that?" Jason frowns at him again. For some reason today somethings off and Clay's already annoying him

"No!" Clay gulps taking a breath "No, I'm good..it's nothing. She can wait"

"Good!... Alright! Let's get to work!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Ann Marie cuts off her phone and lets out a long deep sigh

"_DAMN! so no apology then!"_ she frowns before she hits send on the text send button for the text she prepared earlier a heart emoji and "I miss you already"

"Ann Marie, is everything alright? Are you ready to continue?" the lead voice from the table of delegates calls across the room to her

She takes another breath and puts on a big smile "Yes of course, Sorry about that… my boyfriends in the military …. had to go at short notice" she beams across the room to them, as they all give her sympathetic smiles back  
"Right where were we then….Yes the next topic is… " she looks at her laptop and continues with her presentation ."...bullying in the workplace."


	9. Chapter 9

** Chapter 9: Perfect **

Ann Marie lets herself back into the dark,empty apartment and turns on the light switch.

With Clay gone for two days now she has to admit to herself that she's starting to feel loneliness and boredom this time.

Seeing the note Clay wrote before he left she smiles as she picks it up from the kitchen countertop. Her smile turns to a sigh and then to a frown, as she thinks back to the other morning, the incident with the coffee pot, when she walked out without saying goodbye properly.

She reads it aloud to herself,again. She must have read the words "I'm sorry. I'll make it up when I get back, promise X" at least ten times now. 

She sighs as she checks her cell as sits there on the counter top where she put it when she came in. Checking the messages she realises she has still had no reply to her text. Taking another sigh, she grinds her teeth thinking, then she looks at the keys in her hand and smiles. Picking her phone and bag up she heads out again.

She sits in her car watching as the Uber cab arrives to pick Ash up. He's leaving for his appearance on the cable show he co hosts.

She smiles as she watches him run his hand through his hair but that smile soon turns to a frown as she sees him chat with the female Uber driver, before her opens the rear car door and gets into the back seat.

The car leaves and she opens her own car door and steps out. She can feel the seeds of her jealous emotions rise in the pit of her stomach as she watches the dark-haired driver pull away.  
As the car clears the driveway she quietly walks to the front door and lets herself into his house. Looking around checking the hallway she enters the house and closes the door behind her.

She runs her hand, softly touching Ash's jacket where it hangs on the hook in the hallway.  
"Hello!" she calls out just to reassure herself and when she gets no response she smiles. She knows Ash's routine at the studios and it will be very late before he returns.

Slipping her shoes off, she leaves them by the front door and heads to the kitchen.

Running her hand over the bottles of his favourite wine in the fully stocked rack on the side counter, she takes one and opens it as she takes a glass from where they hang under the cabinets and pours herself a large glass.

Putting her bag down on the countertop she wanders towards the window looking out into the blackness of the night.

She wanders around stopping at the pile of letters on the counter, tipping her head to one side as she fiddles and reads some of the open ones he's laid on the kitchen isle, before running her fingers along the smooth granite of the counter, continually drinking from the glass in her hand, she browses the contents of the cabinets before taking the unfinished bottle of wine with her and wandering through to the living area.

She sits herself in his chair. Standing her glass down on the small side table she puts her hands on the arms and softly strokes them, imagining that Ash's hands have also touched the soft wooden curve of the chair arm.

Sitting contemplating and looking around the living spacemaking changes in her head, that she would make if she lived here. She takes her cell from her pocket and re-reads the message she sent Ash a few days ago  
"I miss you already"  
Unfortunately she didn't get any reply like she hoped. Taking a deep sigh, she pauses a moment before switching in the contacts menu from Ash to Clay

"Please let me know as soon as you get back .. Miss you so much. xxx" she types and hits the send message box on her screen

She stands up and tops up her wine before picking it up. Taking it with her as she heads up the stairs.

At the top she looks down the landing hallway and after pausing for a moment she heads to the bathroom. Undressing and dropping her clothes on the floor she runs the hot water in the shower and steps in.

When she's finished she gently dries herself but doesn't get dressed. Naked she carries her glass of wine through to Ash's bedroom.

Opening the closet door she runs her hand over the shirts that hang on the double rails before reaching up and taking out the soft, pale blue, cotton shirt sliding it from the hanger she holds and smells it before she puts it on over her still damp body to cover herself, then slowly fastens the small blue buttons.

Sitting herself on the bed she drinks her wine and rifles through the side drawer of the nightstand. Sifting through the papers until she spots the Navy-blue jewellery box which she opens and takes out the gold cufflinks. She studies them in her hand, as she remembers when she bought them and she's pleased he kept them. "Perfect!"

She doesn't put them back in the box but lays them beside her wine glass on the top of the night stand. Then takes the book she also found in the drawer and leaning back against the headboard she flicks through it.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Ash arrives home and as his Uber pulls up in the driveway he notices the front door is ajar.

"Thanks!" he nervously smiles at the driver and heads in. He cautiously enters the hallway and calls out

"Hello?!"  
He frowns as he lays his keys gently down on the hall side table and quietly walks through to the kitchen.

He still hears nothing "Hello?!" He calls out again.

Something doesn't feel right when he sees the empty bottle of wine on the kitchen countertop. Picking it up he puts it in the garbage. He tries to remember when he drank it and why he didn't clear it away earlier. He rubs his head as he looks around then heads back into the hallway.

Now something, a fear, a feeling, really sets him on edge and he swallows hard and calls again  
"Ann Marie!" he pauses "Are you here?"

He still hears nothing and cautiously heads quietly, almost creeping up the staircase.

Seeing the bathroom door open and the wet towel on the floor makes him take a breath. He turns around and heads out, pulling the door shut assuring himself that no one is in there and he's checked that space.

Now he slowly and apprehensively pushes the bedroom door open. Taking a deep breath which, he holds, trying not to make a sound, he peers in the small gap he creates.

Much to his relief the room is empty, and he breathes out but he notices immediately the bed covers are thrown back, not how he left and he spots the empty wine glass on the night stand along with the book and the cufflinks that now lay there.

The closet door is still wide open and the pale blue shirt on the floor. He closes his eyes and swallows to clear the dry fear in his throat,  
"Oh God!" he sighs as he bends down and picks up the crumpled shirt.

He pulls it towards his face and takes a deep breath of the smell and sighing as he takes in the heady floral tones of perfume that now linger in the fibres of material

"ANN MARIE?!"

He takes another deep lung filling breath and looks back at the doorway.  
The nervous tension he feels makes him sweat slightly as he remembers back to the first time she undid the buttons on this shirt. The shirt she gifted him the second night they went to dinner, and she would always mention how it was one of her favourites whenever she picked it out for him to wear.  
"Perfect!" she would say

Strangely those thoughts and the smell of Ann Marie's perfume bring an unwanted smile to his face.  
"Shit!"  
The wonder lust the memories of times gone create suddenly fade, as the dark reality dawns on him that she's been in his house uninvited. Even worse he considers the thought, what if she's still in the house?

"Oh God!"  
Taking a moment to think, his throat's dry and he swallows hard to contain the nervous feeling deep in his stomach. Checking the rest of the room he heads to the doorway.

His emotions are racing all over as he wonders if she would still really be in the house and if so the question is where?

"Ann Marie!"  
He calls out again, louder this time trying to suppress any sounds of slight panic he might have.

Heading quickly into the bedroom next door, the room they were in before they left, he wonders the scene that he might find and opens the door with purpose this time only to find it's empty as well. 

He looks around the landing hallway while he thinks then heads to the top of the stairs "ANN MARIE!... I know you're here!"

He wipes the sweat drops from his brow then listens. All he can hear is a car quickly pull away from the road outside and hurriedly he runs down the staircase and opens the front door, but whether it was nothing or he wasn't quick enough, he fails to see anything.

Now rubbing his aching shoulder, he closes the door and re-actively puts the chain on.

He didn't realise how long he'd been holding his breath till he lets it go now and dropping down onto the bottom step of the staircase he relaxes.  
Massaging the cramp in his arm he wipes the last of the panic induced sweat from his forehead. A cold panic and not one he experience often

"Oh God!"  
He's relieved but furious with her, no with himself. Furious that she still has this ability, this power, to have a fearful control over him.  
_"Pull yourself together… come on Ash you're better than this!"_

He takes a moment and stands up heading into the kitchen. Running a glass of water, he downs some more of his painkillers, flexing the ache in his shoulder to help ease the stiffness.  
Despite his own pep talk, his mind is churning through all kinds of random thoughts as he considers his next move to deal with her.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"You should feel more secure now that's all done" the repairman watches her thinking how attractive she is.

She gives him a beaming smile back "Thank you so much. I'm so glad you could come out so soon"

"No problem.. if you need anything in the future don't hesitate to call"

He gives her the keys to the apartment door  
"I will" She closes the door and looks at the two brand-new silver coloured keys in her hand.

Laying them on the kitchen countertop while she take a glass out of the cabinet. Opening the bottle and pouring a full glass of the red she brought back from Ash's wine rack.

After taking a large mouthful and watching out of the window for a while she remembers the store bag she stood on the table when she came back.  
Lifting the pale blue cotton shirt out she strokes the material, moving the store tags so she can put her fingers on the small blue buttons.  
"You're gonna look perfect in this"

She smiles and puts it back in the bag as she takes out her phone, which for the third time this morning, is buzzing with a call.  
She looks at the screen and smiles as she hits the screen to reject call again.

The third message notification to say she has a voicemail flashes up. Clicking on play message she listens on speaker as she slowly wanders around the apartment while drinking her wine. It doesn't surprise her that once again it's Ash's familiar tones recorded.

"Ann Marie!... Pick the goddamn phone up!…. I need to speak to you. …I know you're there!"

She takes another large mouthful or wine and smiles to herself as she replays the messages again and again. Each message sounds more frustrated than the previous.  
Taking her phone to the couch she lays it on the table in front of her as she turns the TV on and finds something to watch.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

She's fallen asleep on the couch and is woken to the sounds of someone fiddling with the apartment door lock. Then there's a hard solid knock.

"Ann Marie!"

She takes a breath as she checks the time on her phone, she smiles as she sees the text message she missed earlier and wearing only her black lace underwear, she gets up and opens the latch.

"What the hell's going on?"

She steps back as she smiles at Clay frowning at her with his key in his hand. "What's going on with the lock? ..My key's not working… Is there something wrong with it?"

He looks her up and down wondering why she's answered the door dressed the way she is.  
"What's going on?" he frowns as he looks at the half empty wine glass then back at her

Leaning forward she kisses him. Relieved as she is that he seems to have forgotten about what went on before he left. "I got the locks changed!"  
she says it so naturally and unbothered that it confuses Clay even more.

"Changed?... Why what was wrong with it? I've never had a problem before"

"I didn't feel safe.. that's all… it's no big deal" she shrugs as he frowns at her " I just .. I don't know... I just wanted a new lock it just felt more secure, knowing that I was the only one with the keys"

He frowns, it still doesn't make any sense "But no one else has got keys, so why would you need to that?"

"Does it matter… I mean if it makes me feel safer?... I mean you never know who might get in. Who _might_ have a key.. I mean Stella could or…. or even your Dad?"

He still frowns watching her wondering what's made her so paranoid "but….Stella gave her key back and … and Ash...Ash has never had a key!… Why didn't you just ask me?"

"You weren't here. You don't know what it's like… being here alone while your away...when you're god knows where! _With_ god knows who?… I just ..Look I know it's silly .. perhaps I shouldn't have done it?"

He drops his rucksack to the floor as he sees the look of fear in eyes  
"Hey!… No.. no, it's fine .. if it makes you happier .. then that's fine. You don't need to be afraid" she nods, and he watches her "Ann Marie what is it?... Has he done something again?... Something to make you afraid"

She rapidly shakes her head "No! …. No, not really!"

"What do you mean _not really? _Has he or hasn't he?" Clay can feel his anger beginning to bubble.

"Clay.. Don't it doesn't matter! It's fine now the locks are changed and you're home, I'm good now"

She leans in and kisses him as he puts his hand gently on her waist holding her a few inches away so he can check the look in her face.  
"WHAT! What has he done…? Ann Marie, just tell me!"

She gulps and hesitates "If you must know… he keeps calling me.. at first I just thought he wanted to apologise… but now." She sighs "He just... he sounds so angry Clay. I didn't know what to do! I thought he might come here!"

"Calling you?" Clay takes a deep sigh "Right!.. That's it I'm going to sort this once and for all. I won't stand for it now! He's gone too far"

"NO! ….NO Clay leave it! .. Please. … That's what he wants to cause a scene between us …. So, he can blame me.. Maybe he'll make up more lies. He'll turn you against me...Who knows what he's capable of."

She stares straight at Clay looking him in the eye "Hopefully he'll stop now you're back … I know it was stupid but… getting the lock change just made me feel more secure. You're not angry are you? About the lock"  
She gives him this sorrowful look from her big blue eyes and Clay can't help but melt into it.

"Angry?" he kisses her back "God no!.. Just took me by surprise when I got back that I couldn't get into my apartment but if that's what it takes to make you feel more secure that's fine! ..You know just do what you want, especially when I'm away. I'll live with any decision you make and as for him turning me against you..." he shakes his head and kisses her "That's never gonna happen... I know what he's like... He's a manipulator.. so it won't happen believe me"

She nods and smiles. Though she doesn't show it, inside she has a warm smug feeling "You want some wine? It's a good one!" she holds up the bottle to show him

Clay smiles "Yeah! Yeah sure" as she pours them both a glass he looks at the bottle and laughs

"What ?" she frowns

"Nothing, It doesn't matter .. Don't worry" he drinks from the glass ironically he thinks this is Ash's favourite. He decides it's best to not mention it or him right now.

"Hey Clay" She stands in the bedroom doorway and tilts her head sexily to one side "Why don't we drink it in here? You know you've been away a few days now…. A girl gets bored with nothing to keep her entertained" She drops her bra strap off her shoulder and smiles at him.

He smiles back at her seducing him "Lets forget the wine!" he takes her glass off her and stands it down on the counter then push her back towards the dresser in the bedroom, kissing her and running his hands over the curves of her waist.

"Sounds good to me" She leans back as he kisses down her neck

They're in the bed now still passionately kissing and Clay's very aroused as he slips her panties down and starts to undo her bra as she wraps her arms round him kissing him.  
As he puts his hand on her breast she freezes and suddenly stops pushing him back just before he's about to fully immerse himself in her.

"Clay!…. Sorry... can we stop!"

"What?" He looks at her wondering if she's joking considering the position they're in "Are you serious?"

"Sorry I … I can't right now"  
As she pushes him back off her she can feel his arousal as he moves and lays on his back. He continues stroking her arm. If he's honest he's hoping she will change her mind.  
He's hoping because its painful being that close and stopping like that, but also because he wants to know what's upset her.  
Was it him? Did he say something? Did he do something wrong? His mind races and plays over the last few moments before she said stop!

She runs her hand through her hair "Oh God!... Look, I'm so sorry! ..What's wrong with me?" she turns over to face him "Sorry… I just can't not right now… it just feels a little rushed since you got home. I wanted it to be so nice"

"Hey" he brushes her hair off her face "This _is_ nice. It doesn't have to be perfect… This .. this is good for me" he smiles. He has to take deep breathes being this close to her it's not easy to lay here and not touch, especially knowing he was that close.

"Just hold me.. . Please!"

"Phewwwww!" he takes a breath trying to get his hormones back in check "Wow! Talk about close call" he smiles and pulls her closer and kisses her neck

"I'm sorry….I don't know what came over me .. I just panicked for a moment I guess" She lays kissing him, running her hands over him "Let's just stay like this"

He nods in agreement, but he doesn't think she realises how painfully frustrating it is  
"Pheww!" he keeps sighing trying to calm himself. "You know… I'm gonna get some water.. you want some?"

"NO don't!...Just stay with me. Just hold me!" she smiles pulling his arms that are wrapped around her, tighter, holding him in place , not letting him go. 

He kisses the top of her head. "Okay!" He closes his eyes trying to think about anything except her naked body lying against him. The only good thing is two days on a spin up and lack of sleep so it's not long before they're both asleep.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

He wakes as the morning light from the open curtain makes him blink. He can hear noises from the kitchen and the smell of something cooking.

Ann Marie's making breakfast, as he stands wearing only his boxer shorts watching her.

"Hey" she smiles "You sleep aright?" she can't help but notice the red patch on his hand from the coffee burn. It catches her attention and he notices but neither of them mention it.

He comes behind her at the cooker and wraps his arms around. Sighing lightly, he doesn't say a word while she finishes up and turns the cooker off

"So… What do you want to do today .? Let's go out!" he suggests… "Just you and me… Where ever you want!"

"Or we could stay in?" she smiles as she turns around and puts her hand on his groin gently massaging it.

He frowns confused "I thought .. you know... last night…. You didn't want to?"

She looks him deep in the eyes and smiles as she can feel her touch is having an effect on him "Oh that!... That was last night.. this is now" she smiles again as she drops his shorts down.

"Oh god! …Ann Marie!" he calls her name in pleasure now as she's now aroused him again "Are you sure this time?" he's not sure he could handle the frustration of stopping again

"Yes!...Mmmm" she smiles "There how's that?" biting her lip just watching the pleasure in his face "Hmmm!.. You like that?.. Clay... tell me you want me"

" Oh god Ann Marie you are so..." he leans in to kiss her, but she pulls her head back. He frowns as he tries again and again and she keeps rejecting him but the whole time her hand still working on him . He laughs "Are you teasing me?"

"Tell me you want me!" her eyes dart back and forth watching the spark of pleasure light up in his face 

" I want you .. but you know that!"

She smiles "Well sometimes things are better when you have to wait!" she smiles again and pulls away completely

"No!...No don't do that again… Oh Geez Ann Marie.. this … "

"What?" She smiles her head on one side watching him struggle with the arousal running through his body

"Oh god!.. You know what…" 

She drops her bathrobe and beckons him forward putting his hands on the lace sides of her panties helping him to take them off her, and then she pushes herself up on to the kitchen countertop

"Come on then … If you want me...show me!"

He smiles he doesn't need to be asked again as he pulls her to the edge of the counter and supporting her weight he takes her right there. Releasing all the pent-up frustration from the night before

"Ummmmmm!" She smiles "See .. that was worth the wait wasn't it?... oooooh God!" she grips into Clay's neck scratching deep with her nails as he feels her own wave of pleasure now arrive

She leans into kiss his neck and bites his shoulder  
"Aww!" He grimaces but he's on the point of no turning back and it just adds to the intensity of the pleasure "Awwwhhhh!" he lets out a long sigh and feeling the weight of her now in his arms he relaxes but she grips him even harder on his back

"No!" she's breathless "Not yet!" she breathes deep and rapidly as she closes her eyes to an intense feeling of satisfaction "Ohhhh!"

Her claw like nails bite deep into the flesh on his shoulder now. It's becoming a regular thing as she scratches and draws blood. He grimaces and bears the pain just until she relaxes enough he can move her and get her to release

"Mmmmm!" she smiles "See… Isn't it better when you can't have what you want straight away?"

He puts his arms round her lifting her off the counter carrying her through to the couch where he leans in and kisses her "You did that on purpose.. leaving me frustrated like that all night?"

She smiles with this wicked look on her face "Maybe!" she lets out a contented sigh " but made it better this morning didn't it… You wanted me!" She kisses him and bites at his lip in a playful way

"Oh…..you…." he closes his eyes and kisses her back "Don't do that again!….You just don't know frustrated I was"

She laughs "Didn't I?" she kisses him again "Keeps you on your toes though"

He goes to stand up and she digs her nails into this arm scratching him. He frowns looking at her hand as she realises and let's go "Where are you going?"

"To get the pancakes you made"

"Oh okay… I thought you were leaving again"

"No … just pancakes" he smiles looking quickly at his arm trying not to make an issue of the scratch marks she just made

"No, Clay wait!… ..I have something for you… a present!" she reaches for the store bag she stood at the side of the couch and hands it too him "Open it"

"A present?" he looks at the expensive branded bag and frowns "You didn't need to"

"Just open it … I hope you like it? .. When I saw it, I knew it would be perfect for you!"

He smiles as he opens the bag and pulls out the blue cotton shirt "WOW!.. its.. it's great!" he's cautious in his reply.

"You don't like it?" she frowns

"No, I…..I love it! … It's great!"

"Put it on!" She smiles helping him undo the buttons

"Err mm….What now?"

"Now!…. I want to see how great you look" she leans in and kisses him as he slips the shirt round his shoulders and she helps him with the small blue buttons and smooths the soft fabric down over his chest

"Mmmmm!" she sighs, seeing him wear it makes her tingle with excitement again "I was right…It's perfect!"

She leans in kissing him, as feelings of pleasure start to fill her body and she pushes him back on the couch, straddling her legs across him.  
He now feels a second wave of arousal running through him as he watches the flush of excitement in her face.

Pushing her hair back to kiss her "No!… It's not perfect …. You are"


	10. Chapter 10

** Chapter 10: watching the game **

Clay brings the warm pancakes over to where they're sitting snuggling themselves, still undressed, under the large woollen throw that normally covers the couch.

The pancakes have cooled in the time they took making out, though Clay admits to himself he's glad of the break. In a complete turnaround from the frustrations of last night, he's now having problems keeping up with Ann Marie's sexual appetite this morning.

He leans forward to reach for the remote and turns on the TV. Flicking the channels before finding the football game, he settles back into the softness of the couch pillows.  
Ann Marie rests the plate of warm pancakes on his lap as she cuts them into small pieces, feeding herself then using the same fork and feeding some to Clay

Her gaze doesn't leave him the entire time that she continues to do this while he concentrates on watching the TV.  
Holding his chin gently she spoons in each piece. Him smiling occasionally as he has to wipe the syrup when it dribbles down his chin.

After a long continued spell of her staring at him he looks away from the TV and frowns  
"What?"  
He turns quickly to look as her, smiles, then turns straight back to the TV

"Nothing" she smiles "I like watching your face when you're concentrating"  
She puts the half- finished plate on the side table and wipes the rest of the syrup off his chin, before licking the residue off her hand.

She finishes chewing her last mouthful then just before he goes to wipe the last of the syrup for himself, she straddles across his lap and kisses his chin. Licking her tongue across the remnants of the syrup on his skin then planting her lips fully on his.

Although he kisses her back, it's a half hearted side kiss. She still doesn't have his full attention while he continues to watch the screen over her shoulder.

Trying to arouse his desires once again she continues to kiss at his neck. Still his concentration is with the football, him even pulling away from the distraction of her touch, he sits forward to concentrate more and as his team scores ,he fist bumps the air. 

She takes a deep sigh as she realises she's not his entire focus  
"Clay!"

"Hmmm…. what?" he quickly looks at her again "Yeah whatever.. it's fine by me" 

She sighs loudly now to register her disapproval at the lack of attention. The fact he has no idea what she said tells her he's more engrossed in the game than he is in satisfying her needs.

As a reaction to this sustained in-attention she pinches him hard on the soft underpart of the top of his arm.

"Clay!… _LOOK _at me" she frowns.  
Her annoyance is totally laid bare for him to see. The pinch on his flesh is really hard. So hard that it makes a large red mark and makes him look round

"What?!" he snaps back.  
He's more annoyed at the distraction from the game as he rubs the sore part of his skin "What the hell was that for?"

He looks first at the mark then at her. The deep furrow lines in his face indicating he's less than happy about it. He firmly but playfully nips her arm back in reply "How about I do it to you!" 

"Awww!" she grimaces as he marks her arm "Why did you do that?" she frowns long and hard at him "Clay that hurt!"

"Because you did it to me!" he laughs thinking nothing of it

"Only because you're ignoring me for some dumb football game"

"Sorry!…. Look… I'm just watching the game then I'm all yours…It's a really tight game" 

She rubs her arm again and looks at the mark studying it carefully. She's really annoyed that he retaliated back. In fact it's something she's not use to, and now she can feel, that what was only a mild annoyance, starting to bubble into something much more.

"Right!...So football is of more interest than making love to me?" She shakes her head as she picks the remote up and turns the TV off "AND _that_ hurt!" she frowns showing him the mark on her arm.

"Hey! .. Hey, come on give me the remote!" he turns and looks her dead in the face annoyed she's making an issue out of this, and more annoyed he's now missing the end of the game  
"Ann Marie…. I'm sorry alright.. I shouldn't have done that but I'm watching this game. Please …give it back there's only ten minutes to go, then I'm all yours"

He laughs thinking she'll find it a joke and laugh it off and he tries to playfully grapple the remote from her hand. She won't give and hangs on to it for all her worth.

Standing up from the couch she taking the large cover with her it leaves him sitting there naked.

"Ann Marie…Give me the remote!"  
He frowns now using a more insistent tone. It's his turn to be annoyed "You're being selfish!"

He can tell this doesn't go down well and he tries to back track his words "Please?" he sighs tilting his head and giving her one of his boyish smiles "Just let me watch the end of the game. It's not much to ask is it?"

He holds his hand out for her to hand him it and she looks at him as she holds the cover over her naked body with one hand and the remote in the other.

He boyish charm is going to have no affect and he can tell she's taken offense at the way he's spoken to her. He can see that simmering look she's had before when he's tried to stand his ground over this type of behaviour.

"FINE!... You wanna watch the football and ignore me?...Have your stupid remote!"

She throws the black plastic remote deliberately hard and it hits the top of his head.  
He's shocked and rubs the area the remote hit, then searches the pillows to find where it went, while she gathers the couch throw and wrapping it round her, heads to the bedroom and slams the door shut hard.

"Damn!" he sigh as he picks up the remote and turns the TV back on. He realises he's missed some vital points and the end of the game is only a few seconds away.  
"Awww Geez!" He sighs again looking at the closed bedroom door and rubs his head again where she hit him with the remote.

He's now questioning himself. Wondering why they went from the relaxing moments of pancakes to an argument like this over him not giving her attention when he's given her plenty of attention this morning already.

"Ann Marie, come on! …..Please! …What's this about?" he takes a half-hearted sigh as he turns the TV off "I'm sorry okay?.. I wasn't ignoring you"

Closing his eyes to think he then gets up and picks his shorts from the kitchen floor where they left them earlier when they made out, and puts them on.

Putting his hand on the bedroom door he knocks softly. "Ann Marie"  
With no answer he tries to open it but she's holding it shut by leaning her weight against it. He pushes one way and she pushes back on the other side.

"Ann Marie!... What's going on? .. Why are you being like this? I just wanted to watch the game. Ten minutes and I was all yours" he sighs again as he still gets no answer "It's finished now.. please come out… Come on let's talk about this!" He lets out a deep long sigh "Oh for god sake!"

Now he can hear sobs from behind the door "Y-You hurt me"

"Hurt you?...How?" he's unsure if she means physically or emotionally

"You hurt my arm! …..I didn't think you could be like that"

"What?.. That?... No! Ann Marie that couldn't have hurt ….I was just messing"  
He takes a moment thinking did he actually hurt her? Perhaps he should have considered his strength over hers. He looks at the bruise she made on his own arm and notes the fact that she's actually hurt him and he'd retaliated. Had he used to much force in his annoyance?

He bites his lip thinking for a moment as he leans against the door  
"Ann Marie,… I'm sorry! .. I never meant to hurt you. I guess I don't realise my strength sometimes. But you know I would never hurt you deliberately. Please…. Come out" he waits but still no reply " I was just joking around" he swallows and laughs "Hey!...If it's any consolation …You hurt my arm too"

He hears her sigh "But you're the Navy SEAL…seriously how can someone like me manage to hurt you? "

He sighs as he thinks about what she said.  
She's right how can a small, female, like her hurt him enough to cause injury. That's just ridiculous.

He leans against the closed door as he listens to her crying.  
"Ann Marie, please come out. You're right.. I'm sorry ..I didn't mean to hurt your arm and I shouldn't have ignored you. Let me make it up to you"

She doesn't answer and just pushes herself back against the door as he pushes it again to try and open it.

Each time he pushes he gets it a few inches ajar and this time when he opens it he manages to get a grip on the edge of the door. It allows him to push it more firmly.  
She looks round and sees his fingers round the edge of the door holding it. The fact she can't keep him out makes her more angry and in retaliation for him invading her space she gives one almighty push back against it in temper.

He isn't expecting it and she hears him cry out as the door snaps back on his fingers trapping them in the gap as it bangs against his hand.

Rather than releasing she stands still where she is and closes her eyes

_"Awwww_! Shit!... Ann Marie!…PLEASE!…. Get off the door!… _Awwwww!_…..My hand!"

She swallows and smiles as she hears the pain in his cry

"Arrrrrghhhh! Please..,"  
For the few moments his hand is trapped the pain is intense and he worries that it might break his fingers.

His natural reaction is to force the door open and he pushes against it hard with all his strength then gives it one mighty hard kick. It opens and he pulls his hand back from the gap

The force he uses is so great and unexpected that it causes Ann Marie to fall forward onto the bedroom dresser and she slumps down hitting her head on the edge  
"Awwwww!"

He bursts in to find her sitting on the floor holding a swollen and cut lump on her head.

" Oh shit!... Ann Marie?" he's down by her side. Her holding her head, freely crying and slumped back against the wall. 

Ignoring the pain in his swollen fingers for now, he checks on her seeing as the big tears roll down her cheek. She gently holds her hand to her head and softly touches the painful lump.

"Awww!"

He brushes the strands of her hair back that are stuck to her wet tear stained face "Oh god … I'm so sorry … I didn't mean for this! Why didn't you just let go of the door?"

The burning sensation in his own hand starts to cause it to throb. His fingers they have deep red lines across his knuckles where they were trapped by the edge of the door.  
His fingers are really swelling now and he's wondering if they might be broken. He can see small patches of trapped blood forming under the skin

For now, he totally ignores his own well being and gently touches her head again.  
"Here.. let me look"

She drops her hand, and he studies the egg sized lump "We need some ice on that" he tries to garner a smile from her but fails  
"Sit tight… I'll get some"

He kisses her lips as way of apology but she pulls away from him and with a reluctant sigh he goes to the ice box in the kitchen.  
Taking two kitchen cloths and wrapping some ice in both. One for the throb in his hand and one for the ball sized lump on her head.

Back in the bedroom he gently applies the cool compress to her skin, softly holding her cheek. As he applies the cold she flinches and as it starts to leave a numb sensation she pulls her head back. Although it's painful for him with his hand the way it is, he holds her head as still as he can.

"Leave it on…..It'll take the swelling down!"

She smiles cautiously and nods as she stares him deep in the eyes. Taking his swollen hand in hers she examines it. Gently holding the other ice filled cloth compress round it she softly caresses her fingers through his and puts her other hand on his cheek.  
She smiles and apologetically frowns "Does it hurt?"

He smiles, then lies "Not much …. Don't worry it'll be fine" he smiles reassuringly at her

She leans up and kisses him before letting out a long sigh "It was so stupid of you to put your hand there…. it never would have happened if you hadn't"

"I know" he smiles "It was a stupid thing to do" he's worried about her head, the lump is quite large "You feel okay?"

"I think so!" she sighs and gently her fingers touch the painful swollen lump as Clay helps her up. She wobbles and is slightly unsteady on her feet "I do feel a bit dizzy"

"Come, sit on the bed"  
He watches her as she shudders with a chill and realising she's still naked, the dropped the cover she had round her when she fell on the floor, he picks it up and puts it round her shoulders. She pulls it round to cover herself.

"Clay… I…"

"Shhhh….Just let me look"

She grabs hold of his hand forgetting it is the one he just shut in the door "Awwww!" he cries out in pain as he pulls his hand quickly away.

"Sorry!.. Oh God did that hurt?" she frowns again "I didn't mean to do that!"

"Yeah! Not good!" he shakes the pain out again and smiles

"Here… let me look" she watches his eyes as she takes the ice he's holding on her head and holds it round his hand. She smiles a comforting smile as she does.

He bites his lip watching her nurse his hand.

Staring at him for some time while still holding the ice then she lets go and unwrapping the couch cover from her shoulders she's naked again as she pushes him back on the bed.  
Her lips are now kissing his lips, and she begins to slowly work her kisses down his chest. Further and further, slowly kissing down his body till she's below his waist.

"Oh god!" he sighs in aroused anticipation "_phewwww!_"

He closes his eyes and relaxes to the overwhelming sensation of her warmth against him and despite the considerable pain in his hand he runs his hands through her hair  
He can feel the intense ache from the swelling in his fingers but he still keeps his eyes closed just concentrating on replacing the feelings of pain with the ones of intense pleasure she's now giving him.

o-o-o -o-o-o-o-o-o-o

A few days have passed.

Bravo have been stood down for ten days rest, but he hasn't seen the guys in nearly 4 days now.

Too busy wrapped up with Ann Marie at home. Sonny has texted him constantly asking when they are meeting up and today finally Ann Marie agreed they can go out for drinks as long as she's invited.

They're both showered and dressed and she's just finishing her makeup as Clay enters the bathroom  
"How does it look now?"

He frowns "Yeah!...You can hardly notice it" he brushes her fringe over to cover it more "That's better .. I'm sure no one will notice"

She looks back in the mirror fixing her hair "You're lying… it's still really obvious" she sighs. Though the swelling on her forehead has gone down, the cut is there, and its now surrounded by deep blue and black bruising

"What am I going to say if anyone asks? "

He kisses her "I'm sure no one will ask"

She pushes him back "Mind my lipstick" she frowns "Clay… I have a huge bruise on my head of course someone will ask!" she sighs again putting more powder on "Oh, let's not go!"

"Hey … " he puts his arms round her "…it's just the guys ..they won't say anything but… if they do just…..Just say you hit it on the kitchen cabinet door!" he smiles "Who's not gonna believe that?...You know it's not as bad as you think .. well …not as bad as it was now" 

That doesn't reassure her but she takes a breath and reluctantly nods in agreement

"Look…." he turns her around "Sonny's not going to leave me alone till I meet up with them … it's been 4 days now. I never go this long without meeting up .. rest days or not!… They just wanna see us for a few drinks…. that's all"

She nods "You're all such good friends aren't you? .. I mean you and the team"

"Yeah!... The best!… We're more than friends …we're brothers"

She nods "So… it's important…..seeing them when you're not at work?"

He nods "Yeah… I guess"

She sighs "but what if they don't like me?"

He laughs "Ann Marie we've been through this …. Why do you think won't they like you?"

She shrugs "I don't know … all that with Ash last time. That girl causing trouble in the bar. I mean .. what if they think I'm not right for you?"

"Then….I'll put them straight" he kisses her again "Look…as long as I'm happy they're happy…. And I'm happy with you!"

She smiles holding his hand turning it over running her fingers across the red bruising on his knuckles "Does it still hurt?"

"Only a little. No really, its fine… trust me" he leans in and kisses her again "you'll be fine"

He kisses her one more time and she runs her hands over the arch of his butt  
"Come on .." he removes her hands knowing what she's trying to do "…. They'll be wondering where we are and Sonny will probably send a search party" he smiles

She kisses him "You won't leave me alone though"

"No!.. I won't" he shakes his head "I'm right there with you!" He brushes her fringe back covering her head again "Perfect" he smiles

She brushes the pale blue of the soft cotton shirt, smoothing the fabric on his chest.  
"This looks great on you. I think it's my favourite" she smiles as she plays with the small blue buttons and then leans up to kiss him


	11. Chapter 11

** Chapter 11: We're done! **

"Well finally!" Sonny gets up from leaning back in his chair grabbing hold of Clay and giving him a hard bear hug  
"You know we had money on you calling off again .. for sure!"

Clay frowns pushing him away "See you've been here for a while" he nods towards the table full of empty bottles and small shot glasses

"Hell haven't seen you in a week buddy what you been doin' to keep yourself entertained without the Quinn Master of Good times?"

"It's been four days Sonny...not a week ... we've been busy" He smiles as he looks at Ann Marie

"Mmm hmmm .. busy you say?" He smiles as he leans in and kisses her on the cheek. "Howdy little lady.. hope you've been keeping this one in check?"

"Oh..I have" Feeling slightly awkward she smiles as Sonny stares at her.  
She can tell from the way he falters and his eyes wander that he's registered the lump on her head, though he doesn't say a word, but the way his forehead wrinkles up she knows he's noticed.  
She nervously coughs,as she looks away and fiddles with her hair to cover it.

Sonny feels awkward "You know you all must be doing somethin' good to him " He laughs "I've never seen him so little since he started dating you….. Hope you looking after her Poster boy cos…. she gotta be a keeper if you don't even wanna come drinkin' with ya team!" he play punches Clay in the stomach.

"Yeah,I'm looking after her, just fine" Clay smiles and kisses her lips

She puts her arms round is waist "Hey …don't get too cocky there Clay Spenser" she smiles and kisses him back "there's always room for improvement"

"Awww…Geeez!" Sonny frowns "You two gonna make me puke….enough already with the couples thing… You know I told him he should come alone… make it a boy's night … so I didn't have to watch him puppy dog over you all night"

Clay looks awkwardly at Ann Marie, he didn't tell her she wasn't really invited, but after what's gone on this week he didn't want to tell her not to come.  
"Oh Sonny you need reminding sometimes that the right girl is out there for everyone ….if you can find her and her name isn't Candy Floss" he leans in and kisses her again

"Right!...That's it!... Clay go get the drinks!" he pushes him on his way to the bar "and I'll have you know Candy …loves me lots!"

Clay smiles.  
Ray laughs while shaking his head  
He's missed the teasing between these two and though he thinks he may be the only one that's noticed that Clay's not been himself lately, so it's good to see him getting out with the team again. Watching Ann Marie as she sits quietly on the chair next to Sonny, who has his legs sprawled across two chairs tipping back in the one he's sitting in, Ray laughs. If he had a dollar for the times he's seen Sonny sit like that and end up tipping completely backwards, he'd be rich.

He continues to stare, and she looks up and notices him. She knows he's also looking at the bruise on her forehead and she looks away as he stares at her. Turning quickly to look at Clay then back at her bruise. Something's not right but he doesn't know what.

Ray and Sonny exchange glances as Sonny, drinking the remnants of his beer frowns at him. He and Ray know they are both wondering similar things.

Clay prepares to head to the bar and looks round for the rest of the group "When the others getting here?"

"Brock and Trent are over there..."  
He looks around at the pool tables as Sonny points in that direction and nods as they acknowledge him."….and Hell knows where Jason is, but he said he's comin' "  
Sonny sniffs and drinks down the rest of his beer "but I'll have another beer"

Clay nods then turns to Ann Marie "Do you wanna beer?"

"Oh, err mm….. No… I'll Just a lime and soda please"

"That it?" he frowns wondering if she's alright as she's awfully quiet "You don't want a beer?"

"No!...I'm good." She smiles but notices the look he gives her "It's fine" she manages another smile "I'll have a drink later"

"Okay… You alright?" Clay frowns concerned.

Ray looks at Spenser "Hey brother, I'll come give you a hand with the drinks, you can catch me up on what you've been doing"

Clay nods, still frowning as he continues to watch Ann Marie wondering it they really should have come. He's concerned enough to ask again"You sure you okay?" he leans in and kisses her lips

"Yeah! ….I told you … I'm fine. I said I'll have a drink later. Now stop fussing and go get the drinks" she nervously waves him away

o-o-o-o-o

Ray's at the bar with Spenser he coughs to clear his throat, he's a little worried to ask but broaches it anyway.  
"So, hey man ..what did you do to your hand?" he indicates to the red marks across Clay's knuckles

"Oh that!...Nothing .. just…stupid really … I managed to shut the door on it" he looks away getting the bartenders attention

"How the hell you manage that?" Ray frowns unconvinced

"Oh, you know ….." Clay sighs trying to figure out how to explain "… fingers where they shouldn't be…" he laughs "It's fine.. It's nothing, doesn't hurt at all now"

Ray keeps watching him uneasily, something doesn't feel right with his explanation  
"Just shut it in the door?...Simple as that?"

Clay nods "Yeah that's right…. " he looks away as the barman approaches to serve him "Err mmm yeah, can I also get a lime and soda to go with those beers"

"You should let Trent give it a look … Just to make sure …..I mean you wanna be sure nothing's broken, Right?"

"No, it's good!" Clay flexes his hand and makes a fist though somehow that makes it look so much worse

Ray looks at Spenser, then back at Sonny and Ann Marie. He feels like he's not getting the whole truth and he sure doesn't like the feeling that Clay's lying to him.

Clay also looks round trying to avoid eye contact with Ray, and he smiles at Ann Marie as she sits watching him at the bar  
"Are you okay?" he mouths quietly to her.

She nods back, she is.

o-o-o-o-o-o

Sonny's leaning back in his chair throwing peanuts up into this mouth. Ann Marie watches him, she frowns any minute now she's expecting him to tip backwards in his chair and fall out.

He watches her for a while too "So, what did you do to your head?" he sighs as he throws up the next peanuts missing his mouth entirely and ending up covered in them.

"Head?"  
She tries to make out she doesn't know what he's talking about but that doesn't wash when she awkwardly puts her hand to her head to cover the lump.  
"Oh... err mm .. nothing!" she laughs it off

"Okay if you say so…. but don't look like nothin' to me… Looks nasty. How'd you do it?"

She swallows hard before she answers him  
"It's fine, wasn't that bad…" she looks at his face "Really, it's fine…. just something stupid" she laughs.  
Watching him she realises he's looking for more of an answer and continues with the vague explanation "Would you believe the kitchen cabinet door, open it and..."

Sonny slowly nods, now he doesn't really believe her.  
"Really….kitchen cabinet you say?...Suppose that would do it" he sighs and sits up "You need to be more careful cos…" he brushes her hair to one side and looks at it "… that looks nasty. Maybe get Trent to give it a look over"

She brushes her hair back awkwardly "No!…It's fine…It's nothing!" She looks round at the bar wondering what's taking Clay so long, she can't stand this awkward questioning from Sonny.

"So, what did Clay do to his hand?... Only I noticed he got red marks and some bruising"

She pauses not answering straight away, turning again to look at Clay then back to Sonny who's now sat round staring at her.  
She awkwardly gulps again at the question "His hand?"

"Yeah, Clay's hand .. the red marks and bruising… looks nasty as well" Sonny stares chewing on his toothpick

"Oh errrm .." she coughs "he errm…." She bites her lip, checks the bar again and looks at Sonny "Look you'll have to ask him, I'm not sure"

"Oh, I will!... No tellin' how stupid that boy can be, Right?"

He leans back watching her as she frowns annoyed at Sonny's constant questioning, but she can feel that that Sonny's not going to leave it.  
"I need the ladies room" she stands up and awkwardly smiles.

She can see him still staring at her and she nervously checks the bar again and sighs  
"Look...Please don't say anything…..but…." she sighs "...it shouldn't have happened ….and I'm not angry with him anymore .. it was just one of those things"

"One of those things?" Sonny frowns and takes his feet off the table where he was resting them "How so?" he watches her as she tries to avoid his eye contact "What was one of those things?"

She looks away awkwardly again checking that Clay's still at the bar  
"Really …" she sighs "I know he didn't mean to"

She looks like she's about to walk away so Sonny takes hold of her hand and stops her  
"He didn't mean ta what?"

She bites her lip, a stiff awkwardness in her body as she doesn't answer, doesn't go unnoticed "Hey …either you tell me or I'm gonna ask him outright!"

"Okay… but please just don't say anything, alright … it'll just make it worse…" she sighs "We…we got in a fight. It was stupid...over the TV remote!… I don't even know how it happened … One minute we were all cosy the next the TV went off and we were having a fight" She shrugs "Just one of those things couples do, I guess!"

"Umm hum…..and?" Sonny stands up looking her in the eye

She can see he's annoyed by the way he chews on his gum now. A frustration for answers. She looks at the bar as Ray and Clay chat "And…. it just got out of control… Look, he didn't mean to do it"

"So, what?...He lose his temper and used his fist? Hmmmm what?... What the hell are you sayin' here?"

She sighs "Look …. I didn't say that.. it was just….. just an argument that got out of hand. Sonny he didn't mean... please don't say anything to him"

"Didn't mean it?"

She shakes her head swallowing hard "Sonny you know Clay, he would never …never do this on purpose"

"Hmmmm! No …. No, you probably right… maybe not purpose …. Still, he shouldn't be letting his temper get to him like that"

She takes hold of Sonny's arm "Sonny please …..for me … Don't say anything, it's taken all week for us to get back on track.. I just .. I don't want any more trouble… He's got a lot on his plate at the moment … with work…. and things not right with Ash"

Sonny furiously chews his gum as he watches the begging look on her face asking him to keep quiet. He exhales a loud sigh "Look.. you know it's none of my damn business but… Is this something to do with what went on with Ash?"

"What?. .. To do with Ash... why?"

"All that business the other week … has it been gettin' to him"

"I don't know maybe .. a little I guess.. he was just frustrated that's all… You know Ash just gets to him, winds him up."

"Yeah I know….. but still, that no excuse for losing his temper with you"

Sonny looks round at the bar "You know one thing I won't be holdin' with?... Brother or not .. is him laying his hands on a woman!" he takes his toothpick out and points at her.

She gulps "I know" she smiles "but he won't do it again… Sonny I'm begging you.. let's just keep this between us…..Really it's fine!"

He watches her looking her in the eyes and reluctantly nods. He agrees to keep quiet when truth be told he really wants to go over and have it out with him "Okay….. but hey…. look at me"

She swallows hard and turns to look at him "What?"

"I won't say nothin' this time .. but you promise me.. he pulls this shit again.. you tell me!"

She nods "Yeah!... Yeah okay.." she smiles "Thank you….Sonny, he's a good person … just .." she puts her hand on Sonny's arm holding it "It's gonna be fine!"

He puts his hand on hers "It better be!"

She heads to the ladies room as Ray and Spenser come back to the table with the drinks

"Is she okay?"

Sonny nods at Clay and side glances Ray "Yeah she's okay! Just needs the ladies room"

Clay frowns, he gets the feeling from Sonny's tone of voice that something's off "Something wrong Sonny?"

He shakes his head as he continues to chew on his toothpick "Nope!...Not with me!….No Sir… How about you?"

Clay frowns again as he puts the drinks down "No!… No, I'm great"

She's back at the table and he pushes her drink towards her "Lime and soda!"

She smiles but she can feel an unsettling vibe "Everything okay?"

"Yeah everything's fine" Clay smiles "You sure that's all you want?"

She nods "Yeah sure! So… " she smiles at Sonny and in a ploy to relieve the tension "What do you think?"

Jason now arrives at their table "What do we think about, what?"

"Hey Jace" they all look round as Jason pats Clay on the back

"Thought.. we'd lost you for good there buddy…. You being MIA all this time. We've been a drinking man down for too long"

Clay smiles embarrassed "Why does everyone keep saying that it's only been four days ...We've just been busy"

"Hmmm!...Busy?.. Is that what you kids call it these days?" everyone laughs, and Clay drinks his beer " So….. what do we think about what? What we talking about?"

Ann Marie smiles "Oh….just gonna say about Clay's new shirt .. makes him look good doesn't it?" she smiles as Clay slightly blushes embarrassed He can hear Ray laugh under his breath and is waiting for some smart comment from Sonny.

Sonny laughs " Oh yeah…nice" he feels the collar of the shirt "Gotta say it suits you Poster boy, shows off your muscles" Sonny keeps nodding as he watches for Clay's reaction "Let's just hope his behaviour is as good as his looks, hey Ann Marie?"

"What?" Clay frowns "Sonny, what does that even mean?...My behaviour?"

Jason wonders the same thing, but he just frowns at Sonny and doesn't ask.

"Nothin' just sayin' …it's okay lookin' good but...it's more important how you behave, don'tcha think?" he drinks his beer not taking his eyes of Clay, giving him an intense stare.

"Well I think he looks great!" Ann Marie stands up and kisses him wrapping herself around him again trying to deflect Sonny's comments

"Oh hell! … Put him down!" Jason screws up his face shakes his head as she turns to look at him and smiles " We really do not need to see pawing all over each other….what you wanna remind us singletons what we missing out on?"

Jason laughs as he looks over at Sonny but Sonny's now lost in his thoughts and Jason can see it. He kicks Sonny's feet off the chair "Hey…. What's wrong with you?"

"Nothin'!"

"Didn't look like nothing"

"Well it is … Look, I'm getting another beer anyone want one?"

"Oh hell!" as Clay looks at the bar he spots Ash pulling a stool up. He sighs "Just what I need tonight!"

She puts her hand on his cheek "Hey…. just ignore him ,okay! … Clay please, don't make a scene tonight"

Sonny pushes him back "Yeah!...Listen to the lady and get your temper in check" Clay frowns as Sonny sniffs at him holding his hand against his chest "You get me!"

"What? .. Sonny have you got a problem? … If so let's have it out?"

"Oh …you wanna start something?" Sonny wrinkles his forward as he goes nose to nose with Clay "Come on then… Let's see you take it up with a man this time!"

"What?" Clay looks at him "What the hell does that mean?… Sonny, have I done something to offend you?... cos you seem to have a problem"

"You know what…. I'll tell you my problem… my problem is when she rocks up in a bar with a lump like that on her head … and you have bruised knuckles .. That's when we have a problem!"

"What?.. No!... No, it wasn't like that! .. Is that what you think?... Sonny I would never.. No!" he looks round at Ray and Jason

Ray lowers his eyes "Gotta say brother, it kinda looks that way to me too!"

"No! This is not what happened!" Clay's lost for words and he looks at Ann Marie "What you think I'd do that do her? .. Really?"

Ray shrugs "So you tellin' us you didn't? Hey man I'm just asking what we all thinkin' that's all"

Clay hesitates "Well… I did but … not like that ..it was an accident" Clay closes his eyes he's flustered now as how to explain it "No….look ask her… she'll tell you it was an accident"

Sonny laughs in his face "An _accident_ … Right!... Ain't that what they all say, Hmmm?… You know Clay I thought better of you!"

"Seriously…. Sonny, you think I would hit her. Man… please" Sonny turns his back and drinks from his bottle. Clay's annoyed now that he's not listening and decides to walk away before he ends up getting in a fight from frustration.

Ray and Jason look at them both confused.

"Sonny I asked you not to say anything" Ann Marie appears to be really angry "Oh god!" she sits down and take a deep sigh and looks over to Clay at the bar. "This is why I said not to say anything!... I didn't want all this trouble"

Sonny turns back and looks at them all  
"I'm sorry….just that kinda thing…. " he shakes his head "I…. just can't ignore it! .. Jace come on back me up.. he shouldn't have done that!"

Jason's not sure what's going on and he just shakes his head as he watches the now angry and frustrated Clay standing at the bar, ordering more beer.

o-o-o-o-o-o

Clay stands away from the others trying to calm himself.  
But he can't calm down too much when he's watching Ash keep staring at him from across the other side bar.

The more he watches the angrier and more frustrated Clay gets and after a few more sips of his beer he's ready to have it out with Ash  
"What the hell are you doing here?" he shouts across.

Not only does Ash look over but so does the barman and the rest of BRAVO. Ash looks embarrassed "Just having a drink, son!"

"Yeah well .. there's plenty of other bars, go find some!"

"Yeah well... I wanted to drink in this one"

Clay laughs "Why?" he's really starting to get annoyed with Ash.

"Why?" Ash thinks for a moment "So, I can check on my son"

Clay laughs again "Right!…. Don't you mean check on my girlfriend more like?"

Jason, Ray and Sonny now look round as the argument between them gets louder

"Oh hell!" Sonny puts his beer down "Just what we need!"

Jason puts his hand on Sonny and holds him back for a moment "Just leave them! .. Let him get whatever he wants to say out of his system"

"Yeah…should have guessed you'd fall for her lies. Clay, can't you see…. she's no good for you!"

Clay stands up from his stool now and laughs. Ash's superior, knows best, tone he uses really winds Clay up  
"Oh there we have it! .. She's no good for me?… In your opinion!... What cos she didn't fall for your ego?.. Hmmm.. you didn't get there?"

Ash bites his lip and holds back all the things he wants to say, "What did you do to your hand, son?"

Clay looks at it embarrassed "None of your damn business!"

Ash nods thinking about it, looking at the marks on his hand "Did she do that Clay?"

"I told ya!...It's none of your damn business … but in case you're interested .. I shut it in a door. MYSELF!.. .. It was nothing to do with Ann Marie"

She also can hear them now, and she watches Ash's reaction as he looks over at her.

"Yeah, sure… right! You tell yourself that! You keep seeing her … you gonna have to tell yourself that a lot!" he looks round at Ann Marie who's glaring at him "Hey! You do that to him?...Hmmmm? One of your little _accidents_"

She looks at Jason , Ray and Sonny who are all staring at her now

"So, Clay tell me … what she get upset about this time? Or was it just you weren't you paying her enough attention?"

Ann Marie looks embarrassed as she knows this is the truth. She shakes her head, she's seething inside "Clay don't listen to him.. I told you what he'd try to do!"

Clay looks away not acknowledging Ash as he picks up the beer in front of him. Ash calls her out again and Clay swings round to respond

"You need to shut your mouth!" he stares at Ash "I told you …..it's nothing to do with you!"

Ash is frustrated now as well "Clay,…. son, please … we need to talk" he looks over at her then back at Clay trying to muster the courage to tell him what he needs to hear  
"There's things about Ann Marie you just don't know … That's how I know she's no good for you"

"Right!... See she told me you'd do this .. try to turn me against her. I didn't really think you'd go that far… She told me you were obsessed .. that you wouldn't leave her alone... Now I can see that"  
He looks Ash dead in the face "You can say what you like ….. it's not gonna work…..I love her .. I wanna be with her…. and you can call her all you want but you're not gonna stop that. I promised her I won't let you come between us, and I won't!"

Ash takes a breath and walks round to Clay's side of the bar still keeping some distance between them "Son you need to listen"

Clay laughs "Oh you know .. you really are somethin'! … She told me .. She told me everything about you and her!"

Ash stops for a moment and looks round Ann Marie wondering if she really did tell Clay about them "She did?... What did she say?" he's cautious now. Carefully wanting to know what story or lie she's fed him first

Clay laughs seeing the worried look on his face  
"About you calling her!... How you frightened her!.. Hell, you know I got home, and she'd changed the locks…. because of you! She was afraid you were gonna come to the apartment!"

"Son… she's lying!… She's the one been calling me…Don't you see.. that's what she does!"

"What? … You're some expert now ….Why don't you go write a book about it!... You know Ash you're a joke!.. Stay away from us"  
Clay points at him he's having a hard time holding himself back and decides he might be better off walking away and so heads back to the table

Ash steps forward and puts his hand on him to stop him "Son!.. We need to talk!" he takes a deep breath. He really feels he should just say it all now, for Clay's sake. For his protection.  
"There's things about her… " he closes his eyes, but something holds him back. It's that fear. The fear of losing his Son for good if he doesn't believe him.

Anne Marie's by Clay's side now "Why are you doing this?" she frowns at Ash

Ash grinds his teeth "Tell him!"

She gulps and shakes her "I don't know what you're talking about! Tell him? … Tell him what?"

Ash sighs"Tell him you were in my house … when I wasn't there!...That you showered and got in my bed!... That you …" he pause, realising this actually sounds quite ridiculous "While he was away on spin up… that you were in my house! Tell him!"

Clay looks round and laughs "In your house? .. Why?" he frowns staring at him

"Who the hell knows why?…. That's the reason I called her! .. I wanted to know what she'd been doing there"

She laughs "So… you now admit you've been calling me?"

Ash looks around trying to think how to answer "Yeah" he rubs his head "Yeah…. I called her!.. But only to find out why she'd been in the house! Clay you have to believe me"

She frowns and looks at Clay "Why would I be in his house? I have no reason to go to his house, Ash why are you lying?"  
She can feel herself getting angry now at having to justify his remarks with an answer "You need to leave us alone… You're jealous!... You don't want Clay to be happy . … because you're not!"

Ash's head is flashing with scenarios of how she did this. How she's turning it against him .  
This is exactly what she did when they were together. Talked everything round so he always ended up sounding like he was the crazy one. Now he's wondering if he should just come totally clean about the affair with her.

"Clay.. please .. just let's go somewhere and talk!… I really don't wanna do this here!... Just hear me out!"

She holds her temper now worried that Clay might just give him time to explain and tell him things and she just can't have that "Clay don't listen!... Baby, let's just go!" she gets hold of Clay's arm and tries to pull him away

"What the hell's going on, here?" Jason's towering over them with Sonny beside him

"Nothin'!" Clay snaps at them, his temper is running high now.

"Clay please listen to me…. You don't understand .. she is crazy!" Ash is almost begging him to listen now.

Ann Marie frowns as the words come out of Ash's mouth. She's fuming but she isn't going to give him what he wants by giving in to her temper. She laughs at him  
"I'm crazy?" she shakes her head "Really?.. When you're the one saying I've been in your house when I haven't been anywhere near it! Not to mention you said I stabbed you when the police said I didn't!"

"Geez!" Ash gets so angry he rubs his head trying to make sense of it all, trying to make someone listen to him. He watches her as she keeps smiling while Jason keeps tabs on Clay

" I don't believe this …."  
He totally loses it now and grabs hold of her in some desire for angry revenge, to make her admit the truth. He's not sure what comes over him and he clenches his fist at her "For god sake you need to tell him!"

She laughs at him even more knowing he's losing his temper "I…. don't need to tell him anything!" she's right in his face now goading for a reaction

Seeing Ash put his hands on her pushes Clay too far over the edge and he punches him full force on the chin  
"Get the hell away from her!" then using two hands he shoves him backwards .  
All hell breaks loose now as there's a full on fight between Clay and Ash.

"_Woaahh!..._Woah! Woah!.. Oh Hell!" Sonny grabs Clay and holds on to him as best he can. Pushing him back against one of the pillars in the bar. "Steady there Clay!"

Jason pushes Ash away to the bar, holding him still with his hand while they work out what's going on.

In the confusion of the scuffle with all the pushing and shoving and BRAVO being so quick to intervene, Ann Marie has been knocked over and sits on the floor rubbing her elbow. She fell on it as she went down.

Now Clay fully goes after Ash. Both Sonny and Jason having to pull him off as he ends on top of Ash, grappling on the floor.

Clay's pointing and screaming "You stay the hell away from her! … Do you hear me?! You touch her again and …and I swear to god!"

Sonny manages to pull him off and hold him back "Woah! Calm the hell down there Poster boy"

Clay shoves Sonny off him and it's Sonny's turn to retaliate back. Grabbing him and slamming him back into one of the chairs  
"Now calm the fuck down!" they're staring eye to eye as Sonny holds him by the collar till he relaxes. He lets out a long deep sigh and Sonny loosens his grip

"That's more like it!" Sonny keeps hold of him just in case he decides to launch himself again.

Jason has hold of Ash. Making sure there's distant between them and Ray's helping Ann Marie. He and Trent checking her elbow and seeing if she's okay

Ash still won't let up though "Clay! .. She's a liar.. and she's dangerous"  
He rubs his head pulling himself from Jason's grip "You don't know her…" he takes a moment "but I do!.. Son I don't want to do this….not here, not like this, but you need to listen"

Jason steps in he's had enough, he can see any more talk from Ash and Clay's going to lose it completely "Okay that's enough!"

"but he needs to know!"

"I said enough! … Whatever's going on here .. we don't do it like this! You understand me. You got somethin' to say … we calm it down first"

Ash tries to argue to get his words out, but Jason puts his hand on him "DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"

Everyone takes a breath for a moment as the tension calms

Jason looks at her, then at Clay and then at Ash. He lets out a long sigh "Look, maybe you two do need to talk?"

"NO!" Clay's voice raises "We, don't need to do anything!... We're done." He laughs "She said you'd do this! .. This is exactly what you do when you don't get your own way. You never change Ash.. Your way or no way!"

"Son.. Please! There's things you don't know"

Concerned with what Ash might say now that tempers are calming down Ann Marie decides to divert attention  
"Awww!" she cries out and everyone looks round

"Oh, geez!." Ash points at her with both hands "Here we go !.. .Yeah, yeah you do that … you cry!" Ash now appeals to Jason not Clay "This…. this exactly what she does!"

He shakes his head "Jason ask him… ask him what happened to his hand!... I mean the truth not some story they concocted to cover it"

When Clay won't say anything Ash shakes his head "You know what, Clay...go right ahead. You keep denying what she's doing… All those little accidents you keep having.. the fights.. the .. oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean.. the times you apologise saying it's you, not her"

He watches but Clay's still not responding, not answering, not admitting or denying what Ash is saying. He rubs his neck trying not to admit, even to himself, that at least some of what Ash is saying might be the truth.

Ash can see Clay struggle with the reality, the truth that he might be right.  
"Ring any bells there?" Ash shakes his head and sighs a long sigh "Son you need to end this.. before you get hurt!"

Clay's confused, unsure of what's going on or what to believe. "What? .. What are you saying?... That I'm somehow … " he won't say the words he's too embarrassed to admit what might be happening "No! .. It's not like that! .. It's not … That's not what it is!"

She starts to panic now she can see Clay buying into the words "No!... No don't listen to him …. Clay please! .. You said you wouldn't let him do this! ..You promised me!"  
She puts her hands on his waist looking him in the face "Clay look at me don't let him come between us"

Looking Ash in the face, he's trying to read him because he's confused. The things he's said do ring true with him but No he's not going to believe that his girlfriend is behaving that way. How could he ever admit that?

Jason watches them both looking back and forward trying to take on board and make sense of what's going on

"You okay?" he looks Ann Marie in the face

"I think so!" she frowns lowering her eyes

"Clay!" Ash puts his hand gently on him this time "Let's just go and talk?"

Clay hesitate and Ann Marie sees him waiver "Clay don't! .. He'll only lie again … don't listen to him!"

Clay rubs is head "Oh god… arrrrghhhh !" he looks at Ash then at Jason "I don't know what to listen to any more"

She frowns getting angry now  
"FINE! You know I told you what he'd do .. What they'd all do eventually.. that they'd turn you against me …Well fine… You need to choose!"

"Choose?... Choose what?"

She takes a deep breath  
"Choose if you believe your father, the person whose let you down all your life…. or …." She put her hand to her mouth stifling back the tears that well in her eyes " or…." she cries now and takes a deep breath  
"Oh god!…..Look.. I wasn't going to say anything yet… not like this but…. but he's given me no choice ...and I'd rather know if you want to be with me before this goes any further"  
She takes a breath again, looking angrily at Ash first before she says her words "You need to choose between your father and ..and the mother of your child!"

There's a collective "WHAT!" from everyone and then a silence for a moment as everyone takes in what she just said.

"What?" Clay frowns at her and lifts her chin so he's looking her in the eyes "What did you just say?"

She swallows hard now the words are out of her mouth. She nods at him smiling "I said you have to choose your father or … the mother of your child" she takes Clay's hand and puts it on her belly and nods again giving him this big smile "Yeah… it's true ...we're gonna have a baby, Clay.. .. I mean if you want to be a part of it"  
She looks round at the guys then she glares at Ash "I wasn't gonna say anything, I wanted to tell you when we were alone but.. all this … it's kinda forced my hand.. I'm sorry!"

He watches her as the tears roll down her cheek

"What the hell!" Jason looks at Ash then back at Clay then at her "You're pregnant?"

She give a confirmatory nod.

Ash frowns "What?!...What the hell? … NO! NO!...shes not.. she's just saying that cos she didn't get her own way!"

She laughs shaking her head "Yeah cos .. that's just what I'd do… make something like that up!" she grinds her teeth "You know what Clay.. forget it I'll sort this out by myself .. because you'll probably make a crap Father .. just like him! I mean a man that can do this .." she touches her head "..to a woman over a remote control… Yeah .. he's not gonna make a great dad material!" She shakes her head again "You know what … just leave me alone"

She picks her jacket up and bag "I'm done!" she looks at Ray "Ray, I'm sorry to ask but.. would you give me a lift home please?"

Ray looks round at everyone arguing, he's not sure what's going on but if what she's said is true then best thing he can probably do is get her away from this situation

"Err mm …" he hesitates waiting for some sort of approval from Jason "Yeah sure!" he looks checking it's the right thing. Jason nods giving his agreement and they leave.

Clay sits himself on the stool everyone in the bar's looking round and the barman is trying to cool everything down  
"What the hell" Clay rubs his head, he's shell shocked, unsure of what's just happened.

"She's pregnant?" Jason repeats again looking at Clay

"I … I don't know!.. I guess .. I mean … I don't know"

"Clay.." Ash puts his hand on him

Clay pulls away pushing Ash back "Get the _hell _off me!"

"HEY!...Hey GUYS!" The barman shouts over "Will you KNOCK it off!"

Sonny puts his hand up "I got this .. it's all in hand don't worry" he smiles and pushes Ash back himself "You sit the hell down.. Don't touch him again or I'll knock you down myself!"

"Clay you need to listen to me ..Son, don't let her do this … she's trying to control you" He looks at Jason who's watching him "Get her to take a test…. to prove it! … I know what she's like!"

Clay laughs at him "You're unbelievable, you know that! .. You're still calling her a liar?… Stay the hell away from me!"

"She's a liar, Clay… I know she is" Ash is exasperated that Clay won't listen, that he won't take on what he's saying.

"How? .. Hmmmm. How do you know? You don't know her"

Ash takes a moment "Trust me son .. I do!"  
Ash is now so close to telling the whole truth, but it just won't come out. He's still scared to take that step-in case Clay won't believe him, and once he says it he can't take it back.

"Trust you! .. Hmmmm… you are crazy.…. I told you….I swear to god I won't be responsible for my actions" he shakes his head. "I'm done" he looks at Jason "I gotta go!... I need to check on Ann Marie... Check she's alright"

"Yeah sure! …. Just stay in touch okay!"

"Son!" Ash takes a deep breath and closes his eyes and calls out behind him  
"I _LIED!_"

Clay stops where he is and turns to look at him and laughs "You lied?...About what? Cos you've lied about a lot of things in your life!"

He swallows hard, his throat is dry, and the words are hard to get out "I lied about Ann Marie!"

Jason holds Clay back he has his fist poised to strike Ash again  
"Woah! there Spenser" he frowns and looks at Ash he tilts his head questioning Ash's motives "We sure we wanna be having this conversation right now?"

Ash nods "He has to know the truth … if she's really having his baby… then he needs to know what he's getting into "

"You know what .. I don't need to hear anything from you!… Stay the hell away … for good!"

Before Ash can get one more word out Clay's picked up his jacket and gone!

"Oh _HELL_!" Ash rubs his head in frustration "Jason you need to go after him .. You need make him listen.." He's mad and pushes into Jason

Jason glares and shoves him back "Who the hell do you think you are?"

"He needs to hear me out!"

"Yeah, well maybe right now is not time for that conversation?"

Sonny frowns, he's confused "Jace… What the hell's going on?"

Jason shakes his head. Running his hands through his hair "Shit!" he sighs and tries to think what to do.

"Is Clay in some sort of trouble?" Sonny frowns as he watches Jason's reaction "Jace!...What the hell's this about?"  
He looks at Ash who's ordering another drink then back to Jason who seems to be inside his own head "Someone better start telling me somethin' here!"

Ash sits on the stool and Sonny stands over him glaring "This got something to do with you?"  
Ash drinks from his whiskey and looks away from Sonny afraid his eye contact might give him away "Hey! .. I asked you a question!" watching him not answer he asks again "What the hell did you do?"

Ash shakes his head finishes up his whiskey and orders another. When the barman sets it down Sonny pushes it away and just stares hard at Ash

"Sonny leave it …I'll deal with it!" the first words Jason can get out.

"Deal with it ?... Will someone tell me what the hell he did?"

Ash downs the second double whiskey and it loosens his tongue "Geez! ...Okay! you want the truth... We...Ann Marie …we…"

Sonny tilts his head on one side as Jason puts his in his hands  
"…we had a relationship" he shakes his head. Rubbing his hand through his hair he turns and orders another whiskey, even though the barman frowns.

"You had what?... What the hell? What do you mean a relationship… like dating ?...Oh no!... Like you slept with her, relationship?...Please tell me that's not so?"  
Sonny frowns not really knowing what to say he looks at Jason "Jace .. you hearing this? What the hell's he going on about"

Jason fails to make eye contact with Sonny "Oh …Geez! Please tell me you didn't know"

Jason bites his lip "Yeah!... Yeah I did…I knew they had a thing…well, I knew what he told me"

"A thing? What the hell!" he turns on Ash "What the hell's wrong with you?...You're like twice her age… please tell me this is not still going on?... Oh Geez!" Sonny rubs his hand through his hair. He keeps pacing and sighing all he can think about is how Clay's gonna react when he finds out.

Ash raises his glass "It was over before Clay got with her. or … well it was supposed to be!"

"SERIOUSLY?.. and what you were gonna tell Clay?...about sleeping with his girlfriend?" Sonny looks at Jason questioning this decision "No! No that's a bad idea! .. Jason tell him! That's such a bad idea, that's a bad idea of bad ideas!"

"I don't know " Jason looks around the bar "I have no idea what's for the best now!"

"Well tellin' him … that's a bad idea!.. Especially now… this just needs to stay a secret… Hell Jason! What the hell good will come of tellin' him .. seriously .. you're not gonna...?" he sighs

"No, I'm not gonna tell him .. he won't listen coming from me… but he will from you!" Ash looks at Jason "It needs to come from you Jason"

Sonny shakes his head and looks at the barman "Hey keep the whiskey coming!"

Jason lets out a long sigh as he picks up one of the whiskeys and starts to drink "So, this thing with you and her… it's definitely over, right? I mean there's nothin' else I need to know here?"

Ash gulps and shakes his head "It's over.. just..." he drinks some of the whiskey

"Just what? … What the Hell does that mean?... It's over right? It's done?"

"Oh, geez!" Ash rubs his head "I don't know! .. it was … I just, I screwed up… I gave in"

Jason frowns "Screwed up? Screwed up what?" he grabs at Ash's collar "You need to start being straight with me…. What the hell are you sayin' ..that it's not over?"

"Yeah, yeah it is .. just.. hell!" he hits his head with the palm of his hand "How could I be so stupid!?" he sighs

"Sonny's right .. what the hell did you do?"

"You have to understand… Jason, she was in my house, had a key, let herself in .."

"Why am I not liking this?"

"she was in the shower…..I mean man look at her…. Oh god! I told you what she's like .. Dammit!"

"I'm only gonna ask you one more time!" Jason's fuming now "What the he'll did you do?" he has such a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach and that is causing his temper to boil up.

Ash knocks his whiskey back "I didn't want it to happen …Just .. I couldn't resist her…Naked in my bed, wanting me.. "

"So, you slept with her…HELL!... After everything you said to me about it being over? What she did to you!… So was that all lies?"  
Jason just sits looking at Ash then out of nowhere he gets up and punches him full in the face " You son of a bitch! How the hell could you do that to Clay?"

"WOAH!" Sonny gets hold of Jason it takes most of his strength to hold him back "Woah.. Jace…. not that he doesn't deserve it" Sonny looks round watching everyone in the bar now staring "But not here! Not now!"

"Jason.. I'm…"

Sonny points at him "You shut your mouth! .. You're lower than a snake's belly… I don't wanna hear another damn word from you or I'll knock you out myself"

"Jesus!...What the hell do you think you were doing ?" Jason clenches and un-clenches his fist then running his hand through his hair trying to make some sense of this "You really are some piece of work.. Clay's right you're an asshole!" he sighs "He finds this out it's gonna tear him apart"

"Jason you need to get her away from him…before she sinks her claws in deeper or... before one of those little accidents… turn into something more serious"

Jason doesn't know what or who to believe but he does think Clay might be at risk. "Yeah and how the hell do I do that now?"


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Don't do this to me! **

1/2 a chapter while I work on editing the rest of it as I know some of you are waiting patiently :) thank you

Clay sits on the bed and sighs.  
The apartment seems empty with her not there. He's tried calling her phone several times but each time it just clicks to voice mail.

"Ann Marie pick up please!"

He sighs looking around the bedroom, her things are still here so that's a good sign or maybe it means she just didn't come back when she left the bar.  
Clay rubs his hand over his face just sitting staring at her scarf hanging on the handle of the dresser he looks up when the apartment door hinge squeaks to see Sonny leaned in the doorway

Sonny pretend knocks on the part open door as he pushes it open "Knock, knock…" he stands in the doorway chewing his gum watching Clay sat on the bed "Can I come in?"

Clay nods

"You know you really should shut that properly, might get all sorts of strangers droppin' in" he smiles but seeing no reaction from Clay he puts the beer pack on the table and closes the door with his foot "You okay?"

Clay shrugs "I guess... She's not here Sonny"

Sonny nods "Yeah I know… "  
Clay looks up at him and frowns wondering how. Sonny sniffs as he looks round he's feeling uncomfortable with this emotional stuff "Ray …you know….he errmm ... called. Said she asked him to take her to her place.. and would I swing by, check on you. See how you doin' ?"

He holds up the pack of beers from the table "You know I can go if you want .. leave you to think or…. or we can drink these first ….save me carrying them back downstairs"

Clay smiles "Beer be good"

He comes through from the bedroom to the living area and they crack open the beers. Sonny soon makes himself at home feet up on the table leaned back in the couch. Clay sits himself down next to him and turns the TV on low.

" So…." Sonny swigs from the beer and looks at Clay from under his cap

"So…." Clay nods

"What you gonna do?"

Clay takes a deep breath and sighs. "I don't know… Sonny, she won't answer my calls … I left her voice 's not returned them"

"Hey man .. just let her calm down .. She's upset .. Hell you know what women are like .. probably needs some time to get her head round stuff"

Sonny watches him "So … you want all that?"  
He frowns at Clay wondering what the hell he's doing here having this conversation at this time of night. Then remembering Clay's his friend and he needs him right now.

"Want what?"

"Her….and you know… the whole kid thing… being a dad? … That what you want? I mean I'm not knockin' it just askin'"

He laughs and shakes his head "So what … you think I'm just gonna abandon her… abandon my kid?" He frowns as Sonny shrugs at him "How could you think I would do that?"

"I'm not sayin' you will .. hell Clay ...I know you're not an ass like Ash if that's what you're thinking but… as long as you sure this is what you want .. I mean there are choices, right?"

"No! No… that's up to her .. I ll go with what she chooses but you're right ...I won't be like him and give up on my child no matter what!"

"Okay then …well if you're sure …that's good enough for me. Remember being a SEAL and kids … it's a big commitment. Things need to be on right footing between you and her..You sure she's the one for you ?"

Clay thinks and he can tell what Sonny's doing "You better go!" he gets up and holds the latch on the door

"What?...Clay...seriously... come on buddy I didn't mean anything by it .. just .. just is she really what you want?"

"If you've come here to give me some lecture from Ash ...or Jason on how she's not right for me … then go!"

"Clay…it's not like that! .. Hell you know I'm no good at this relationship stuff… I'm just asking from me… no one else!"

"He doesn't know her… and sure… I'll admit.." he sighs "She has got a temper .. but ….You know I guess its stressful, sitting ,waiting, while we go off and do our thing … Do you ever stop to think about that how one phone call and we just walk out on our lives… not knowing if or when we coming back?"

"Clay.. you know that's part of the job… part of what we do!"

"Yeah … but we choose it, Sonny … she didn't … I just need to be a bit more understanding of how she feels"

Sonny sighs "So we getting another beer or what?"  
Clay nods and calms down and the both lean back in the couch watching the TV

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Clay wakes up he looks at his phone, it's 1am "No messages"

He sighs as he turns to look at Sonny laid next to him on the couch, his head rested up against his shoulder, beer in hand, his cap over his eyes, snoring peacefully.

Clay smiles while he watches how contented he looks before he untangles his arm from Sonny's and gets up.

First he clears the empty bottles to the kitchen then hits the remote and turns the TV off.

Taking another deep breath he lifts the blanket from the chair and gently covers it over Sonny. He doesn't move while he watches as he stirs slightly then resettles himself back deep into sleep.  
Those beers and shots now taking their sleep inducing effect on him.

Checking his phone again and taking one last assuring breath he picks up the apartment keys and leaves.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

There's a soft knock on the apartment door

Ann Marie wakes up from where she fell asleep on the couch. The TV is playing silently in the back ground. Unsure of the time she turns it off and checks her phone

"What the hell" Looking at the time she takes a moment to gather herself, listening as the soft knock comes again, she brushes her hair back, looks at the time again and she gets up. Checking the spy hole first she turns the latch on the door to open it

They stand for a moment just staring at each other, neither saying a word.

"Clay…I don't think this is a good idea, do you?"

"Please .. can we just talk?"

She hesitates shaking her head "No! It's late .. I need to go to bed! I don't want to do this right now… please just go!"

He puts his hand on the door to stop her closing it "Please… I just … I just need to talk to you"

She stifles back the tired tears he can see welling in her eyes "No I don't think so… you all said everything earlier… what you think of me ….So I think this is done"

"NO! ...Ann Marie please just hear me out!… I'm sorry alright .." he can feel her pushing against the door to close it and he holds it firmer "Please can I just come in.. there's things we need to talk about"

"Clay it's late, lets do this tomorrow" She watches his face and studies his forlorn expression "I'm sorry I really do need to get some sleep"

He watches her begging her with his eyes "I can't sleep, I need to know … just tell me.. is it true, about the baby I mean?"

She laughs "What you still don't believe me?..." she shakes her head "Fine!" she pushes the door to close in his face

He puts his hand holding it open "Please… I'm sorry but we need to talk about this"

She takes a deeper breath and nods "Yeah! Yeah it's true" the tears run down her cheek "but I get it.. you don't want that! .. Its not what you chose…with everything Ash said I can see you questioning me so… it's okay, I won't ask you for anything what ever I decide .. You won't have to be a part of it"

"No!... No don't you see … that's not what I want .. if you're having my baby I do want to be part of it!" he frowns frustrated now " I'm not like him .. I don't want my child growing up not knowing me. That's not going to happen. He looks round as one of the other residents come out to check what's going smiles at them and reassures them that its all alright as they go back inside their apartment.

"Please.. just let me come in so we can talk privately"

She takes a moment closes her eyes as she holds back her tears, then she nods and opens the door to him

He steps inside the apartment and takes a sharp intake of breath "Wow!" he looks around "This place is amazing"  
Its huge. Light and modern, big glass windows staring out over the city, black and chrome kitchen area and its huge!

"Remind me again why we stay at my place?" he laughs

She smiles as she watches the awe in his face. She shrugs "My father pays for it! ...So... What did you want to say?"

He's never thought of it till now there'd always been lots of talk about his father, about Ash, but they really hadn't talked much about her father, or mother come to that. All he knew was what she said about her brother training to be a SEAL and he'd never asked much again about that either.

"We need to talk about the baby.. and what you want to do?"

She shrugs "Oh you don't need to worry …. I won't be asking you for anything _IF_ I go ahead with this .. you won't have to contribute anything … incase you were worried" she watches him "You'll be free!"

He frowns at her "_If?_... what do you mean if? .. Ann Marie, please tell me you're not thinking of … No!… No please don't that! "he puts his hand on her arms "Ann Marie take some time… think about this .. we need talk this over .. this is my baby as well"

She shrugs "I don't know Clay… I'm not sure I wanna be on my own with a baby… I mean .. sure I imagined with us... as a couple. A home, a family … but not on my own. I need to think about options here"

He puts his hands on her shoulders now staring her right in those big tearful blue eyes  
"NO!.. Please take some time .. this doesn't have to be over between us"

"Doesn't it?" she shakes her head "What when your Father and friends are questioning me? When our private life, what happens between us, is laid bare for them to pick over .. I can't do that"  
She watches him trying to reason with her "Look Clay I know I haven't been perfect and I shouldn't have behaved the way I did and I'm sorry but… just its hard for me to fit in"

She pauses a moment wiping tears from her cheeks "I've seen a man I let love me once before .. betray me and I'm not ready to deal with that again so … I guess its just easier to hurt you before you hurt me"

"Ann Marie, I'm not going to hurt you and what's gone on.. that's in the past now" He puts his hand gently on her stomach "This ..this is our future… if you'll let me "

"I don't know" she stands crying "What about the lies. I mean why would Ash do that?"

"I don't know .. but don't worry about him …. I promise I'm not listening"

She nods and takes a deep breath "But there is something….something you should know before we can go any further." She stops and watches him "Something I think will make you hate me"

"Nothing! …Nothing will make me hate you .. okay.. You know what … I don't wanna know! What ever it is .. I don't want to know it! It's done"

"No!...You need to know….. before Ash tells you and … and you doubt me even more. I need you to trust me and I can't do that if you don't know the truth"

"Okay!" he deepens his frown and nods. There's something apprehensive about what he thinks she might say "Okay if that's what you want?... but it won't change anything… I promise" he puts his hands either side of her head and looks her straight in the eyes again "Promise.. nothing changes"

"You mean it?... You promise you won't hate me … No matter what?" she frowns as she leans forward and kisses him

He smiles as he feels the soft gently touch of her lips on his "Promise!"

She takes a sharp intake of breath swallowing hard to get the words out " I slept with Ash!"

Clay steps back taken with surprise. His forehead lines deepen confused at the words. This definitely wasn't what he was expecting her to say ""You WHAT?!...I mean …." He stares totally taken aback "slept with him?...What the hell!... When?"

She wipes the large tears that roll down her cheeks "I'm sorry" she puts her hands to his cheeks as he pulls away "Baby please…it was a while back when I was… It was stupid I know but I needed something and he was there! He listened to me .. and then when he tried it on .. I just didn't say no"  
She looks down at the floor as he still stares in disbelief  
She see's the horror of reality in his face and thinks carefully about what to say next "Clay, it was one time and I regretted it immediately … but ….. then he wouldn't let it go .. he called me, text me. He even came to where I was working. He threatened anyone I went out with …. And that's why he's doing this now"

"No!...Please tell me not with him" he shakes his head. He has a pain I the pit of his stomach she may as well of stabbed him with the emotional hurt hes now feeling

"Oh god!" she looks at the horror in his eyes "See... I told you you'd hate me!" she takes in deep breaths to hold the tears back "At the house the other day … he told me he still wants me .. but I never wanted him Clay ..he's jealous and obsessed!"

Clay rubs his head "Shit!...Please Ann Marie, anything but this!"  
He's confused and his head feels like its spinning. He feels sick and falters as she puts her hand to his cheek. He pulls away from her touch "Don't!...Okay.. just don't .. I can't do this!"

She laughs and nods "Yeah right... You better go!"

The finality in the way she said that hits him and he realises he needs to deal with this head on or he might lose her "What?! .. No, wait! . ..No I'm not going … we need to talk… I just need a minute to get my head round this"

"No! ..No, you _NEED t_o leave!" she takes a breath stopping her tears " I knew you'd be like this!"  
This look comes over her, one Clay's seen before. One of anger  
"You …." She points at him "..You promised!.. You said it didn't matter whatever it was…. you said it _DIDN'T MATTER_ !" She's screaming at him now "GET THE HELL OUT!"

"Wait, no!" he's taken aback by her angry response "I .. I mean … No, it doesn't matter! But its over?... you said it was over?...with him"

She doesn't answer his question "**_GET... OUT!_**"

She begins to hit him with her hands. Pushing him back. He firmly stands his ground as she lashes out. Taking hold of her wrists he tries to stop her.

As they tussle with each other she wrangles her arm free and picks up the large metal decorative ornament on the coffee table, striking him hard on the side of the head with it  
"GET THE HELL OUT!" she screams again and again

He's panicked now putting his hand to the wound that he can feel in his hair "Geez!...Ann Marie... Stop!"

He drops his head as the sting from the pain starts to register and he sees the blood on his fingers as he rubs it. Closing his eyes to the pain as she stuns him for a moment, he takes a breath to get control of the situation as she raises the ornament ready to lash out again.

As she drops her arm about to strike him he manages to get hold of her wrist. He grips it tight, tighter than he would like but mainly because he's afraid this time she might knock him out cold or worse.  
"Ann Marie calm down!"  
He holds on to her almost afraid to let go. He can feel as the tickle of blood runs down the side of his head and a surge of fear pulses through his veins as she totally loses control

"NO! No you don't do this to ME!"  
She screams as she manages to strike him again on the shoulder but this time his strength over powers her and he manages to get hold of the heavy metal decoration and remove it from her hands

"STOP IT! …..Ann Marie for god sake!... STOP this!"

She's still fighting him trying to get him to let go, until finally he wraps his arms around her from behind and unable to fight him anymore she relents. With all her energy gone she sinks into this arms as he holds on to her keeping her on her feet upright

He sighs to himself its like calm after a storm even his own adrenaline causes him to shake and finally her body flops in a tearful mess in his arms and he takes back control of the situation

"I'm sorry " he kisses her neck "I'm sorry .. you're right I said it didn't matter and it doesn't .. you told me the truth that's all that matters"  
He's not sure why he apologies but for some reason it feels like the right thing to do. Some how he feels he went back on his word and can see why it upset her.

She takes a breath and he feels her body relax and turns her around "Look at me .. I love you!" he looks down at her stomach and puts his hand on it "I want this.. I want to be a family ..and Ash won't stop that!"

He kisses her even through her face is tear stained, the red anger now subsiding and she puts her arms round his waist, laying her head on his chest.

Putting his hand to the deep blooded cut on the side of his head he grimaces in pain. The bleeding is stopping but not the surge in the painful ache

With everything now calmer he swallows hard as he grimaces at the pain in the side of his head. Wrapping her in his arms as she sobs silently into the taut strength of his chest, she's listening to his heart beat as it slows after the tension

Looking up she stares at him with those huge blue eyes and her hand wanders over his face "I'm sorry"  
She takes a breath gently running her fingers on the cut she made on his head then watches him for a long drawn out moment before kissing him so deep and passionately.

Before he can think about what's happening she drops her dressing robe to the floor and he stands watching her as she stands there naked.

He takes in all the curves of her body before he gently puts his hand on the soft flesh of her waist and leans in to kiss her. His hand gravitates towards her stomach gently caressing it as she smiles at him and kisses him again back.

He smiles and holds his breath running his hands down her curves her back while she unbuckles his pants.

She watches his face not taking her eyes off him "Make love to me Clay" she whispers in a wanting and breathless way. He doesn't need asking again and as he picks her up and she wraps her legs round his waist and he carries her to the bedroom.

Laying her on the huge sprawling bed that has satin covers and a big black velvet headboard.

He's thinking how gorgeous she looks laid there naked against the smoothness of the black bedding. She's willing him to take her, as he hurries to undress .  
Watching him as he stares at her. He runs his hand from her ankle up her leg.

Feeling the smooth softness of the skin on her leg, parting them gently till he's ready for her. Running his hands softly over her thigh and up to her breast she leans back closing her eyes as the waves of anticipation run through every fibre of her.  
He can hear her breathing as it gets deeper and more intense as he caresses her torso then runs his hands in circles over her soft belly stopping there gently massaging it. He's feeling for a connection between him and her and she opens her eyes to watch him. She can see this look in his eyes one of pleasure and anticipation.

"Clay … come here!"  
She beckons his lips to hers as she tingles with excitement. He kisses her, his tongue on hers and then with a firm grip she pulls him inside her enjoying every thrust of the pleasure he gives her.

She smiles totally content now. A pleasurable reward she's now receiving, a release of calm energy after all the angry adrenaline and tension from before.

"Clay…. "

"Mmm hmmmm" he'd concentrating on his pleasure now not focusing on her words

"Tell me you want me"

He looks at her blue eyes as he pauses his movement. Brushing he long blonde hair back from her face "You know I do" he frowns wondering why she needs to ask this when he's showing her he wants her.

"Tell me! .. Say it out loud"

He smiles confused but says the words "I want you"

She smiles "So why have you stopped?" she laughs

He smiles and lets out a laugh under his breath before he continues "_Mmmmm!_" he pushes his body harder against hers " God I love you!…Ann Marie, I don't want to be without you" he kisses her lips

She smiles wrapping her legs round his waist holding him against her not letting him go Running her fingers gently in his hair looks at the blood still from the cut on his head and gently touching it. She closes her eyes and loses herself in the feelings of the moment. She's right where she wants to be with Clay back in her bed.


	13. Chapter 13

** Chapter 13: the second test **

As Sonny starts to wake up he rubs his face. His mouth is moist, so deep was the sleep he fell into that he's dribbled down his chin in the night.  
His neck and leg are stiff from his positioning, legs across the table twisted at an angle and he stretches them out to counter the uncomfortable feeling as his shin and thigh come back to life. Taking a moment he slowly shakes out the neck and back stiffness.

"Ahhhh!" he rubs his leg again as it now burns with a pin and needles sensation "Oh hell!" he sniffs gathering himself as he looks around. It's very still and quiet in the apartment now  
"Clay?!"  
He senses from the silence that he may not even be here. "What the hell?" he's slightly confused, and he frowns as he gets up to check both the bedroom and bathroom.

Rubbing the last of the sleep from his head and unsure of what happened to Clay, he knows one thing for sure that he's in need of coffee.

It takes time to get the coffee machine loaded and working and while he waits for it to brew he texts Clay to find out where he is.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Clay's phone vibrates with a text on the nightstand beside the bed.

"Oh god!" he rubs his head and frowns at the thought of having to wake up.  
He's still really tired from the lateness of the hour when they finally fell certainly used the term _make up sex_ to its full potential, in fact so much so that he had to put her off in the end so they could actually get some sleep.

Now it feels way too early for communication with the outside world but .. if he doesn't answer he guesses whoever it is will probably be worried and start calling.

The tips of his fingers just manage to stretch far enough to slide the phone to the edge of the small table. He checks the time then rubs his eyes so he can focus better on the screen.

He knows it's not a spin up as he has a few more days before they head back to work and so he gently moves Ann Marie's body from where she's sprawled face down naked across his bare chest and moves her front arm from its gentle hold on his torso and unravels her leg that's wrapped round his as he checks the message.

"Sonny!...Oh great!" he sighs as he lies back and rubs his head "Ahhhh! What the hell!" he sighs as he looks at the text:

"Where are you?"

How's he going to explain where he is?  
That he went out and didn't come back. That he's back with Ann Marie in bed. He frowns at the screen, biting his lip as he tries to type his reply.  
Does he keep it short sweet or does he fully explain? No, explanations will come later, when they're face to face later.  
So he types "Don't worry I'm fine!"

He's struggling to type more than that anyway as his right arm is still tucked under Ann Marie's body and trying to move without waking her is incredibly difficult.

He fails as she begins to stir. Running her hand through her hair she turns over on her side, looking at him with her half open eyes.

"Mmmmm!" she frowns "What is it?.. You're not getting spun up are you?"

"No!.. No, it's not that!… Don't worry go back to sleep!" He kisses her "I've got a couple more days off before that happens" he smiles looking at her sleepy face

She nods but she's still curious who's texting this early "So…. who is it then?"

"It's err mm…. Sonny!"

"What does he want this time of the morning?"

"Wants to know where I am"

"Why?" She's nearly awake now and the frown on her face says she's curious and concerned

"Oh, he ermmm … he stayed at mine…. last night. I left him asleep on the couch when I came out.. He's probably just wondering why I left!"

"Mmmm well… " she pushes the phone from his hand, and it falls on the floor "..he doesn't need to know where you are right now!"

She smiles as she slides her nakedness on top of him her breasts rubbing on his chest, he loves that sensation and his hand gravitates over the curve of her butt as her hair falls over his face while she kisses him.  
Her legs straddle either side of him as she lowers herself on top of his body, while still passionately kissing his face.

"Well...I need your attention more than he does!" she smiles pushing his hair back running her fingers round his face, touching gently on the now bruised side of his head.  
She frowns as she touches that part of him "Does it hurt ?" she frowns concerned

"Not much …it's fine.. I've had worse"

She nods and gently puts her lips on it giving it small teasing butterfly kisses while working her lower body in a back and forward motion against him.

She can feel the shivers of excitement that are now filling his body as she sits herself upright. Leaning back putting her hands behind her whilegripping the top of his thigh to support herself while she gently moves herself against him.

"Mmmmm! Oh God!...Oh yeah!" he closes his eyes enjoying it, gently rubbing his hand over the softness of her stomach and then up to her breast touching and teasing gently as she closes her eyes enjoying the moment too.

As her movements get more rapid Clay takes hold of her hips as she now pushes herself harder against him until that wave becomes too intense and he holds her tight against him, thrusting himself into her now, until it stops, and he relaxes.

He opens his eyes to watch her final moment, her lips wet, eyes closes that look of pleasure until she flops down, her hair once again covering his face, kissing him.

"Mmmm!" she smiles "You know I just love making up after an argument, it so much more intense"

Clay brushes her hair back from her face and kisses her intently "Yeah I can tell!" he smiles

o-o-o-o-o-o

Sonny sniffs putting away his cell when he sees the text from Clay saying he's okay. He shrugs that there's nothing he can do for him right now anyway as he pours himself some of the freshly brewed coffee from the machine.

He takes a sip finally waking himself up as he hears a soft knock at the door. He frowns wondering who it is and walks to the door, turns the latch and opens it.

"What in the hell do you want?"

"Is Clay here?"

"You got some damn nerve I'll give you that"

"Is Clay here?" Ash stares at him "Sonny is my son here or not "

Sonny holds the door wide open "Does it look like it! Now if you don't mind I gotta get a shower!" Sonny pushes the door to close, but Ash puts his foot in the gap.

"Do you know where he is?"

Sonny watches him and doesn't say a word

Ash is frustrated now "Do you know or not?" watching the expression on Sonny's face he lets out a sigh "Oh no… please don't tell me he's with her?"

"Truth be told I don't know where the hell he is ..went out in the night while I was sleeping… Hopefully he went and found himself a bar and then whole bunch of strippers and let out some pent-up emotion ..but …." He sighs " I'll more guess you're right and he went to track her down. Now..… move your foot before I break it"

Ash moves his foot from the gap but still holds the door open with his hand "I need to speak to him, Sonny" 

Sonny watches for a moment "Even if I knew where he was, I wouldn't tell ya. Now leave"

"Look Sonny ….please just get him to call me"

"And I told you yesterday ….it won't do no good telling him about all that!.. Hell Ash, you need to leave him alone …. Let him make his own mistake… We'll be there to pick up the pieces when he needs it!"

"I'm sorry Sonny but I need to tell him the truth. I need to try and help him"

Sonny laughs "Help him?...You?!...You serious?" He shakes his head and sighs "What the hell are you not getting here ?... The truth, the truth ain't gonna do him no good .. You need to just leave it!"

"Sonny, you have to believe me….. she's dangerous….Look, I know it was her that stabbed me .. Can I prove it?…No! But it was!"

"What the hell makes you think she did that?" Sonny laughs at Ash's ludicrous accusation as Ash watches him

"Because she did it before!"

"What?" Sonny frowns now concerned and a little intrigued "Did it before?..What the hell"

Ash lifts up the front of his shirt and shows Sonny the scar on his stomach "A broken wine bottle….just after I ended it!"

Sonny frowns "What the hell!.. Why the hell would she do that?"

"Because she's crazy and she just loses it! ..Sonny she's abusive, she abusing Clay and we need to stop her before Clay ends up getting hurt." 

Sonny laughs "_Abusing_?! ….Clay! Are you serious?" he laughs again " Do you know what you sound like… one of those self-help books that's what! ... .Seriously ? You gonna have me believe Clay.. a Navy Seal can't handle a girl?"

"Yeah! …Yeah I know just how stupid that sounds .. cos that's what I thought .. .I laughed at myself when I thought about it … when she did it to me … it wasn't till after when I ended that I could see what went on! .. Sonny you're his friend, so help him."

Sonny frowns this is all over his head, there is no way in Sonny's mind that Clay is a victim.  
Sure she might have a temper, to be honest a lot of women he'd encountered had gone a little nuts at times over stuff he'd done, this was just that, nothing as serious as what Ash is insinuating.  
Anyway Clay would be mortified if he thought they were talking like this about him.

"No!... You stay the hell away from Clay! Just because you pissed her off don't mean he will .. Why don't you leave the worrying about him to BRAVO. we'll take care of him! Now I think it's time you went in case he comes back"

"Sonny you won't be able to protect him, please just tell me where he is? Is he with her?"

Sonny shrugs "I told ya…. I don't know, he didn't tell me….Now turn around and leave"

Ash gives Sonny a vicious stare, glaring at him before he turns on his heels "You know, I'll be back to speak to my son! You can count on it" 

Sonny pauses and stares at Ash "You know I always wondered what it would be like"

Ash frowns "What? .. Wondered what would be like ...to what?"

"This .. "  
Sonny punches Ash full on the chin knocking him down. He smiles and laughs "Yeah!… Yeah, that felt as good as I thought it would .. Now get the hell out of here you snake!"

Sonny slams the door behind him and takes a deep breath.  
He's worried now what if Ash is telling the truth about her. Dare he risk not doing anything? But telling Clay about her and Ash that's first-class ticket to heartbreak for Clay. He thinks for a moment he'll speak to Jason see what he thinks. Yeah that's a good idea Jason will know what to do.

Ash sits on the floor of the hallway rubbing his chin he takes a deep breath thinking he probably deserved that for what he's done but still he wants to know where Clay might be even though deep down his gut tells him he's gonna be with her.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Clay wakes up, he's still in the bed. It's later in the morning now after another session satisfying their desires they fell asleep.

He runs his hand across the empty space where Ann Marie was lying, and he feels the soft cotton of the sheet. He frowns looks around the large bedroom wondering where she is. Then he can hear music and noise from the living area.

He gets up and puts his shorts on and wanders through.  
Messing with is hair he stops at the large mirror by the bedroom doorway and looks at the bruise and cut on the side of his head. He touches it grimacing slightly at the pain as he touches it.

"Shit! How the hell did you get into this Clay" he talks to the tired looking person facing him in the large silver framed glass. Then lets out a big long sigh, fluffs his hair across and heads into the living room.

Standing in the doorway he watches her. The gorgeous, tanned blonde standing at the counter wearing only his blue shirt as she busily makes coffee in the kitchen

Sidling up behind her he wraps his arms round her kissing her neck "Hey! ….You know I was gonna get up and do that…. bring it to you in bed"

"It's Okay…. I couldn't sleep anymore" she smiles "You want one?"

He nods

"Unless…." She smiles as she turns wrapping her arms around this neck "…unless you want me back in bed?" she kisses his lips

"Woah!... Slow down .. haven't you had enough yet?" 

She shakes her head " Must be my hormones" she smiles

"Well if you weren't already pregnant I'm sure you would be after last night" he smiles kissing her

"You think?" She wraps her arms round him kissing him while running her hands over his bare chest.

"So…. you feeling Okay this morning?"

"Yeah!" she nods "Yeah I'm good"

He watches her while he brushes her hair away from her face "You sure you look a little peaky"

"No!...No, I'm good just a little tired but I'm okay"

"I suppose that's understandable given everything"

"Yeah suppose so. I just didn't think I'd feel this way yet"

He stands looking around the apartment. "You know this place is amazing" he smiles "You kept it hidden all this time? Remind me again why the hell we stay at mine?"

She shrugs as she comes over bringing them both a coffee

"Hey ….you think you should be drinking that?" he frowns " I mean what with the baby and all… I'm not sure that you should drink coffee ...I'm sure I read it somewhere "

"I'm sure it will be fine … Stop worrying" she leans in and kisses him

He puts his hand on her waist and pulls her towards him as he kisses her neck.  
He has something to say but he has to choose his words carefully and takes a moment kissing her before he says it  
"Hey you know I was thinking…." He coughs "..maybe we should take another test? You know…. sometimes they are not always accurate .. and we get the excitement of finding out for sure together?"

She frowns "Why?" he can see her mood changing now " What because you don't believe me?" she watches his expression, she laughs "You believe what Ash said don't you?"

"No! No, that's not what I'm saying I meant …..I just mean …..you know to be sure. I mean it be nice to do it together wouldn't it and be totally sure?"

She looks at him suspiciously "Right!… So you don't think I can do a test by myself and get it right?" she laughs to herself "So basically you don't believe me"

He wraps his arms around her and kisses so again "Of course I believe you, just saying ...it would be nice to be sure ….I mean it must be early so these things can be wrong sometimes. You know that"

She takes a deep breath containing her anger at being questioned "Okay fine!...If that's what you want!... I'll go get a test. Tell you what ….you have your coffee and I'll go and get one right now...then you can see I'm not lying!"

"Ann Marie…. That's not what I meant"

"No!" she pushes Clay away from her "No, it's fine ….really…" she's having a problem to not lash out now "…. its fine Clay! I know you don't believe me! We'll do a test like you want!"

She heads to the bedroom grabs her jeans pulling them on. Clay swallows hard, he can tell she's not happy the way she grabs her bag and a purse "I'll be back. It won't take long!"

Clay takes a deep breath "Oh Shit!" He rubs his head and hands through his hair he has a really bad feeling now. He looks at the text again from Sonny and wonders if he should tell him where he is.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Ann Marie's back with the test.  
She pulls it out of her bag and shows it to him then shoves it back in. Throwing the bag on the chair she glares at him.

"You got it then" he smiles

She doesn't even look at him as she pours another coffee "Yeah I did as you asked" she turns around facing him "What now?... I'll do it in a minute alright?... I mean there's no hurry is there? I mean I know what the results going to be .. but I guess it's you with the doubts. I mean you believe Ash more than me"

"Ann Marie please! … Come on don't be like this .. it's just better to be sure! .. .That's what I meant .. Look this has nothing to do with what Ash said okay?"

"NO! This has EVERYTHING to do with what Ash said … you'd rather take his word than mine .. which is fine .. Just so I know where I stand when I make my decision about what to do"

"What?" Clay frowns wondering what she's implying "Hey I thought we agreed you weren't going to do that?"

She shrugs "No we didn't agree anything … I mean you probably don't even want this. … You're probably hoping I made a mistake and this test is negative .. That would solve all your problems"

She picks her bag up and heads to the bathroom "Let's get this done... then you can leave... You'll be free" she sighs then she turns the handle on the bathroom door.

Clay's right behind her and she stops

"Err mmmm…..seriously?" she looks at him puzzled "You really wanna watch me pee on a stick? I mean can a girl have a little privacy please?"

"Oh errrm ….yeah! ….Sorry. I didn't think … No go right ahead" 

She nods "Yeah seems you're good at that … not thinking I mean" She enters the bathroom and closes the door. 

Clay takes a breath. She is right in some ways the truth is part of him does hope she made a mistake but what's done is done and he can only deal with what's in front of him. But it if turned out not to be right that might be the best thing all round.

He paces around its only minutes, but it feels like time has slowed while he waits.

o-o-o-o-o-o

She takes the test out of her bag, along with a can of cola which she opens and stands by the sink while she unwraps the pregnancy test.

Taking a deep breath she removes the sealed cap on the test and dips the test end into the cola.  
"This better work"  
She sighs again as she holds the test in the can for a few moments before taking it out and replacing the cap, tipping the rest of the contents of cola down the sink and putting the empty can in the bathroom trash.

Taking a long sigh, she sits on the edge of the bath and waits then she flushes the toilet and opens the door.

Clay stops pacing and looks up at her "Well?"

"Well what?... You're the one wanted to know so you tell me" she shrugs as she hands the test stick to Clay and goes back the kitchen to refresh her coffee cup.

Not looking round at him she just stares at the wall, biting her lip in anticipation at the result. She can feel a nervous tingle run through her veins but then she feels Clay's arms wrap a around her from behind and she takes a deep breath as he turns her around and kisses her. 

He smiles "You were right!… We're gonna have a baby!" he smiles with excitement, as much as part of him hoped that it wasn't true now he's seen for himself the reality is he's overjoyed as he picks her up and spins her round.

She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes smiling, "I told you!… Perhaps now you'll believe me in future?"

"Yeah! .. Look, I'm sorry if I sounded like I doubted you .. I didn't really I just…."

"You wanted to be sure!... I understand that and like I said, I'll keep that in mind when I decide what to do!"

"No! Ann Marie …Wait" he looks at her confused "Tell me you won't do that? That's not what I want.. I want to be here for you and the baby"

She shrugs "We'll see… I need to know I can trust you first … That we come first over everything else…I can't go ahead with this unless I know that!"

He feels like he has emotional sword hanging over him now and he needs to do everything he can to persuade her to keep the baby.

He kisses her again "Whatever it takes!... I'll prove to you that you and …"he puts his hand on her stomach "… and this baby mean everything to me! You come before everyone now!"


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14****: You need to leave **

Clay leans back on the couch with Ann Marie in his arms reflecting on how the past few days have been. Relaxed, peaceful and calm, even enjoyable between them. Exactly how a relationship should be. He remembers now why he's into her so much.  
It's like she's a different person now everything is calmer and the events of the past weeks are behind them.

Only problem now is his down time off is coming to an end and Jason's already given them the heads-up that Mandy has something big brewing and tomorrow it's likely they will get spun up, and now he's dreading going back or rather broaching the subject and upsetting the special closeness of the past few days. He's right where he wants to be at this moment, and he doesn't want anything spoiling that.

She sighs as she lays back in his arms. Him feeding her chocolates while they watch TV.

"You know you keep this up Clay Spenser .. I'm gonna huge!" She smiles as she watches him.

"No, I don't think so …. and you know why?" He laughs as she frowns at him confused. "Because we're working it off in the bedroom" he kisses her again "I'm starting to wonder if I can keep up!"

She smiles "Yeah I guess!…I don't know what's wrong with me lately, I just.. . I just want you so badly…maybe this being pregnant thing is not so bad after all?" she smiles as she starts to kiss him working her way down his chest

"Hey.. NO! … Stop okay! I didn't mean …. Look, let's go out for dinner" he lifts her chin and looks at her

She frowns "What, you want me to stop? Why?" she tilts her head looking at him "Don't you don't want me?"

He sighs "Did I say that?" he leans and kisses her "Let's just…. slow down okay"

She sits up looking him directly in the face "Fine I get it!... You don't want me anymore, do you? .. What because I'm pregnant, because I'll get fat?"

He sighs "Ann Marie….you know it's nothing to do with that .. so just stop it, okay! You're not gonna get fat … you'll look gorgeous" he kisses her on the neck " I just want to take you out for dinner, show you off!"  
He smiles brushing her hair back "Look I know you don't wanna hear this but… I'm probably gonna get spun up tomorrow…Jason's already given us the heads up something is brewing"

She frowns "Really? … Where are you going? Should I be worried?"

"You know I can't tell you.. not that I know yet .. but even if I did I can't tell you"

"Cos you don't trust me?"

"It's not that .. I just can't tell anyone …. No matter who!….Come on you know that's how it works"

She nods while she thinks  
"Do you really think this is a good thing then…having a baby? I mean I don't want it to grow up without a father…. Maybe you could think about doing something else?"

"I know all the things you're thinking…. I do I get it, they've crossed my mind too, but hey .. Ray makes it work…. It'll be fine" he smiles trying to sooth her fears "You know what …I forgot, I have something for you"

"Something for me? You do?" she smiles excited "What a present?"

"Mmmm hmmmm!" he nods "Well kind of …. It's down beside the couch"

"Really" she picks the blue bag up from it's hiding place beside the couch. Even more excited by the small size "What is it?"

"Just open it"

She opens the bag and frowns, it's not quite what she expected  
"Oh… it's for the baby .. I ermmm .. It's great" She pulls out the small baby outfit in camo colours with "Daddy's little Soldier" printed on the front "It's lovely .. but do you think you should have, so soon?"

"It's only something small…. Just couldn't resist it when I saw it" He watches the slight look of disappointment in her face "It's not what you thought it was going to be is it?" he can tell by her expression she was expecting something else

She shrugs "Well errrmm .. I thought it was for me … so I kinda was thinking .. jewellery, maybe?" she laughs "You know?!… But it's great" she leans in and kisses him "I'm gonna get ready to go out"

Clay sighs as she heads to the bather "Jewellery!" he frowns and shakes his head "Yeah of course…. Stupid Clay!" he looks at the ceiling still shaking his head as she disappears to the bathroom.

She closes the door to the bathroom, locking it and sighs as she empties her bag and make up out on the counter beside the sink.  
The new, boxed pregnancy test falls on the counter as well and she picks it up, looking at it as she starts to organise her clothes. She now undoes the wrapper.

Fifteen minutes later she's dressed, make up on and picks up the used test stick.  
"SHIT!.. Damn it!" she curses as she sees the negative result in the small square result window on the test. Running out of time with Clay away soon. She sits on the side of the bath thinking.

"HEY!… You ready in there?" he knocks on the door

"Err mm… yeah" she coughs "…. just coming. Hold on" she gathers all her things and shoves the test in her bag before she finishes touching up her lip gloss. She opens the door and smiles "Ready!"

"What was taking so long?"

"Nothing just… sorting myself out" she smiles "Shall we go .. we don't want to be too long if tonight's our last time together before you head back to work" she smiles again and kisses him deeply as she runs her hand over his groin

"Mmmm!" she makes him smile "Yeah….. okay we won't be too long"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Finishing up their dinner she looks around "I need the ladies room"

"Okay I think it's through the back. I'm gonna order another glass of wine… you want another lime and soda"

"Err mm…No, I'm good but you go ahead"

"You okay?" Clay frowns at her

"Yeah!..Yeah I'm fine"

She heads off in direction of the ladies bathroom and literally seconds after she leaves her seat Ash sits in her chair.  
He followed them to the restaurant desperate to talk to Clay he's been sat at a table watching them while they ate.

"Son .." he frowns unsure of the reception he'll receive

"What the hell are you doing here?" Clay keeps his voice low and hushed but Ash can tell he's angry

"Please…. You have to listen to me. We need to talk. There's something I need to tell you .. something important … Clay …. she's lying, about being pregnant I know she is"

Clay laughs "You son of a bitch!" Clay looks round "Is that what you came here to say ?... GET the hell out of here before I have you removed!"

Ash's searches Clay's eyes "Son please … there are things I'm not proud of but that you need to know"

"All I need is you to be gone before she comes back!...Do you understand me? I don't need to hear _anything _you have to say"

"But you do! Son… please"

Clay stares watching him, watching the way he nervously shifts in his chair knowing what it is he wants to say  
"I know!" Clay takes a breath still angrily staring at him "She told me .." he swallows hard "…about you and her!"

They just stare at each other across the table as Ash runs his hands through his hair.  
He takes a breath and looks away embarrassed "She told you?" he pauses while he thinks "Son… just please let me explain"

"NO!...No, see we're done!… I don't need to hear anything from you! You should've told me before … before it got this complicated… That's when you should have told me"

"I wanted to, but…. I just thought it might fizzle out and nothing come of it" he takes a deep breath "Son, you need to get out, before you get hurt" Ash touches Clay's head "When did that happen?"

Clay laughs as he pulls away "When did it happen?...After your little scene at the bar which _YOU _caused. When _YOU_ upset her .. I mean it's understandable, being called a liar"

"She is lying… I mean about having a baby"

"No! No, she's not!... We did a test .. I saw it!"

Ash sits back in his chair "Wow!" he frowns "What, so she really is pregnant? But .. she can't be .. I mean .. I thought she was making it up, to…."

"To what? To trap me ..No, cos she was the one ended it with me .. I'm the one went back"

"Son…" Ash is confused "…really you don't know what you're getting into"

Clay's getting angry now "You need to leave .. right now! Do I make myself clear? I can't be doing this with you.. you make me sick .. JUST GO!"

Ash looks round "Fine!. I'll go, but please just be careful and if you need _anything_ .. you call me .. you understand?"

Clay laughs "Don't worry I won't be calling you!" he frowns watching him " Now go before I do something we both regret"

Clay takes a deep breath and drink this wine down and orders another bottle

Ash looks around gets up and goes back to his table to get his jacket and pay his check.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Ann Marie finishes up in the ladies room and exits the main doors.

Unsuspectingly she tries to scream as a hand grabs round her mouth and pulls her backwards.  
Trying to fight and scratch but the strong arms are wrapped around her tight and she can't fight them off as they drag her in to the restaurant storeroom.

She has no idea who is behind her or what they are intending to do and she keeps struggling, fighting back and trying to scream.

They slam her against the storeroom shelving racks and hold her there. As they stand in front of her now she can make out in the dim light the outline and she frowns

"Ash!?"

She takes a breath; her breathing is very rapid from the fear but as she realises it's Ash she starts to calm down.

He shoves her head back with his hand still over her mouth, pressing his body against her to hold her still. "I need some answers" he stares at her eye to eye. Even in this dim light she can see the glint of fiery anger now.

She breaths rapidly slightly afraid of his tone "What the hell do you want?" she says as he removes his hand

"I need to know the truth"

She frowns "About what?"

"Clay says you really are pregnant. … You did a test that he saw"

"You've spoken to clay?" she frowns

"Yeah! Just now …. to warn him away from you .. but you've managed to screw with his head, with this kid thing!" he laughs "I have to hand it to you that was a neat trick .. You knew he'd never give up on his kid… never be like me … you trapped him … but now I need some truth"

"That is the truth. I'm going to be having Clay's baby!"

Ash shakes his head "No!...There's something else I need to know" he pauses and swallows hard, pausing for a moment as he dreads what the answer might be

"Is this baby really his?" he stands back looking away before he continues "Or is it mine?"

She smiles this insidious smile and tries to put her hand to his cheek to touch it  
"Is that what you think... that it might be _your_ baby?" she smiles as he pushes her hand away "Oh my god it is! Is that what you want? … I mean what if was .. then what?"

"Geez!" Ash sighs in frustration as he steps back and runs his hands through his hair, then he slams her back again "Stop fucking with me now Ann Marie … I need to know, is this baby mine?"  
His eyes are watching her closely. Looking for any flicker that will tell him "Because .. you can't do this to Clay if it is.. You'll break his heart!"

She smiles "No! …No, see…. you're the one going to break his heart! .. I'm just gonna break yours, the way you did mine!"  
She keeps watching him and smiling making him more and more angry "I'm gonna make sure you have to watch, as everything you love turns to crap .. and you won't be able to do anything to stop it! Unless…" she bites her lips and leans in to kiss him "….you want to get back with me? Is that what you want.. and have our baby?"

He grabs her hair and pulls her head back "You listen to me you little bitch ..I never want to go near you again… but if you hurt Clay over this I will kill you"

"Now… there he is" she smiles "That's more like the Ash I know.. that fire and spirit. Can you remember what it was like when we use to fight"

She takes a breath as she unwraps his hand from her hair "What makes you think this baby could be yours? I mean did you tell Clay that we errrm .. you know recently .. that you still couldn't keep your hands to yourself even though you knew I was seeing him? I mean what kind of father does that? hmmm?"

Ash looks away the horrible churning in the pit of his stomach knowing she's right. What kind of father does do that?  
"No! No, I didn't tell him that … He doesn't need to know that!"

"But…." She frowns smiling "… I thought you wanted him to know the truth?... I guess not all of it"

He swallows hard ashamed of himself "I don't know how the hell you can live with being the dirty little whore that you are!" 

She takes a deep breath now .. her anger is there in her face for him to see. Worried about her reaction he grips her wrists together and holds her hands tight above her head so she can't move pressing himself against her to hold her still.

"What did you call me?" she spits at him

He laughs "You put yourself on plate to me knowing I wouldn't resist…. behind your boyfriends back … That makes you a whore in my eyes"

She shakes her head "Really!... You think I'd sleep with you while I'm sleeping with your son? You think that little of me?" she glares at him  
"I want you Ash but only you!" she pauses a moment her temper is really boiling now but the way he has hold of her, using his strength against her, she can't move and there's something about being this close that turns her on, she likes it.  
"I never slept with you" she watches his face as it questions her confused. She shrugs " I just made you think we did"

"What?" Ash lets her go, as he stands back looking at her face "But .. you were in my house…we went to the bedroom .. I woke up" he tries to think. The more he does the more of a blur it all becomes he can't actually remember having sex with her

She laughs "Can't you remember? .. If we made love Ash you'd remember!…. Oh, it was simple enough I switched your tablets" she shrugs "Tranquillizers! …. You were sound asleep …I watched you for ages, you know I even thought I'd given you too many to start with .. You were so sound asleep!.. I could have killed you there in your bed … and you would never have known a thing!" she laughs

He slaps her hard across the face.  
Now she's really angry "You'll pay for that, Ash!"

"How the hell could you do that? … You made think we… Jesus, I told Jason we… he thinks… oh my god!" he runs his hand through is hair "What the hell are you playing at?...Why would you do this? You know we can't be together?" he shrugs confused.

"You told Jason?... About us sleeping together!" She laughs "Oh my god!" She stands watching him biting her lip "So they think you're an ass who went behind his sons back .. WOW! Even I didn't see that coming … I mean imagine if he decides to tell Clay?" she continues to laugh "But of course if Clay asks I'll tell him you forced yourself on me"

Ash really doesn't know what to do now and calms himself "Ann Marie you have to stop this!"

She puts her hand on his cheek "But you wanted me, right?... I know you did because you didn't stop it and you liked the idea of having me again didn't you?"

Ash tries to put the thoughts out of his head, but she is right, he did like the idea of having her again he didn't stop it, he did want her that day. "It's over Ann Marie…No more games!"

She smiles "If you say so .. but you're right .. it is time to end this"

He frowns her tone and demeanor "What does that mean?"

"You'll see" she smiles "Like I said you have to pay for how you treated me" She leans forward and holds his cheeks and gives him a long, deep, passionate kiss. He pulls away but she holds him round the back of the head.

He puts his hands on her shoulders trying to push her back but something about the way she kisses him awakens his feelings, his emotions, his desires for her.  
A desire he just doesn't understand something so deep rooted he can't stop it and he starts to kiss her back.  
Pushing her against the wire racking in the storeroom as she smiles wrapping her arm around his head pulling him towards her. She can feel his want for her deep down as he pushes harder against her. His head is having a war with his hormones telling him to get away and stop this madness but his sexual desires are willing him on.

The door to the storeroom bangs open and they both stop right where they are

"WHAT THE HELL is going on?" The restaurant manager stands in the doorway staring at them "You can't be in here… GET OUT!"

Ash pulls back flustered "Sorry! I'm so sorry. This….this was a mistake…. I'm sorry" he pulls away hot and flustered by what just happened. He shakes his head at her and leaves

She smiles as she runs her hands through her hair, straightens her blouse and then pushes past the manager to leave "Oh the fish is delicious by the way"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"You okay?" Clay frowns at her "You've been gone ages… are you alright?"

"No! .. Sorry I don't feel well .. can we go?"

"Yeah!...Yeah sure!... What's wrong?... You okay?... It's not the baby is it?"

"Yeah it's okay .. just baby sickness that's all….I just I don't feel good"

"Okay… I ll get the check!" he picks her jacket up from her chair and wraps it round her shoulders as they leave.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Clay's phone bleeps and he looks at the time. " 5am, Oh! …. Phewwww!" he lets out a sigh "Hey … you awake?"

"Hmmm …..What?… What time is it?"

"It's early" he leans in and kisses her "You feel okay this morning?"

She nods "Yeah! I'm good what's wrong?"

"Listen I'm sorry" he holds the phone up "I gotta go"

"Oh, No please! .. Can't you stay?" she holds his cheek and kisses him "Please … can't you tell them I need you?"

"No, I'm sorry.." he brushes her hair back "... I have to go!"

She nods "Come here!" she smiles at him "I need to give you something before you go…. so you don't forget me!" she laughs

"I won't forget you" he closes his eyes as she puts her hand under the covers "Mmmmmmm!...You know I need to get ready to go!"

She bites her lip watching him "Well I need you first!"

Clay's getting dressed as he covers her over with the sheet. Running his hand over her stomach and lightly kissing her as he watches her. She puts her and on top of his just holding it there on her stomach and smiles.

"You know what …why don't we go away for a couple of days when you get back .. just us .. as a family" she smiles "My father has a fishing cabin… lakeside retreat. Miles from anyone else. You can fish, I can cook…you know"  
He frowns at her and she laughs "Okay .. I'll fish, you cook! but it would be nice. Just us.. away from everyone .. I can get some baby brochures we can choose some nursery furniture. What do you say? Away from everyone no distractions just to be us"

"Yeah! .. Yeah sounds good. We'll see when I get back" he kisses her "I don't know when I'll be back yet though"

"It's fine. I'll check but I doubt my father is using it, so we can go as soon as. Look, just text me as soon as you get back and I'll arrange it. I can pack and pick you up from the base"

He nods "Yeah okay! That sounds great"  
He runs his hand down her neck and kisses her softly on the lips then bends down and kisses her stomach "I need to go"


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: It's gonna be fine

"So, Clay you think you can make that shot from that distance?"  
Jason pauses and waits for an answer but all he gets, is silence.

Sonny coughs to attract Clay's attention but as Jason looks round at the now silent briefing room, Clay still doesn't answer. Lost in a world of his own thoughts

"Hey!... HEY!" Jason shouts across at him "You awake golden boy!"

Still no answer and Jason walks round the table from where he was standing and snapping his fingers in front of Clay's face  
"You even listening?"

Jason's now eye to eye with him and Clay snaps back into the room, leaving behind his thoughts. Thoughts of the things that Ash said and thoughts hoping Ann Marie won't do anything stupid about the baby while he's gone.  
She was really unhappy as he left pointing out that if he was always getting spun up she would be on her own bringing up a child and she wasn't sure if she could do it.  
Clay now worries that if she gets those thoughts while he's gone she might do the unthinkable so much so that he now he can't concentrate for thinking about it.

"Yeah! Err mmm" he frowns "Sorry I was err .. Sorry, where were we?"

Sonny laughs shaking his head "Well we was on the Afghan border, but I think we left you back in the USA … Come on Jace you sure he's fit to go? He seems all over the place to me .. and what the hell happened to his head?"

"Sorry yeah I was just thinking about something …. What was the question?"

"CAN.. YOU... MAKE the shot from that distance?"

Clay studies the line on the map and details "Yeah sure no problem"

Jason frowns at him "Just like that …yeah no problem? .. That's it, no follow up… no tech .. no questions?"

"You asked if I could make the shot .." Clay shrugs "I can, so what's the problem?"

Jason laughs as he looks round at Ray then back to Spenser "You even remember who the target is?"

"Yeah ... Ali Khadim"

"Oh, thank god. Well at least you got that part .."Jason frowns watching him "So What the hell you thinking about anyways?"  
Jason studies his reactions. He's not focusing or concentrating and BRAVO one is starting to question if he should even be going.

"Nothing I'm fine" he puts his hand to the side of his head as he thinks about the other night when she did it. How far would she have gone?

Jason looks round at the others who are all showing the same expressions of concern  
"You sure cos… if you need to stay behind…. get your head straight, then that might be for the best?.. Though I could do without being a man down at this stage"

"NO! No, I'm good .. Sorry!" Clay looks round at everyone and smiles. He too can see them judging him "Just thinking about somethings that was all. Must have zoned out for minute or two…. I'm back focused now…" he looks the others are frowning at him "I am .. I'm good"

He frowns again not convinced that he's reassuring them.

Jason takes a moment longer watching his number six. He has to admit he's worried.  
"Alright…." Jason looks around "….everyone take a break, get a coffee" he looks at his watch "Back here in 30mics"

They all get up to leave as Jason pushes Clay back in his seat "Not you sunshine" Clay frowns as Jason holds him where he his "We need to talk"

Clay takes a deep breath and nods. He's almost relieved that Jason's giving him the opportunity to talk. All he wonders now is what is he going to tell him.

"So, you gonna tell me what the hell's going on?... We'll start with what happen to your head?"

Clay looks round embarrassed as Sonny closes the door behind him giving him one long hard lingering stare before he does.

"Err mm .. it was just an accident"

"An accident?" Jason nods waiting for Clay to explain more but when he doesn't he continues "That's bullshit!... and you know it!.. Now you better start talking or I'm considering your place on the team for this mission, you get me?… I need you on all cylinders for this and at the minute I don't feel I'm getting it"

Clay swallows hard thinking about what to say. Does he come clean or just keep covering it up

"We had a fight and…." He sighs again. His cheeks flush embarrassed he can't believe he's going to say this "She hit me, okay.. I admit it … she hit me"

He looks at Jason again and then breaks eyes contact. He shrugs "We had a fight …. I don't know what the hell happened, I mean it's not like I can hit her back right?" he sighs an exasperated sigh

Jason doesn't say a word for a moment taking in the enormity of what Clay says. Admitting his girlfriend hit him. Hell Jason's not sure if he could have admitted to that either.

Though that's all Clay's saying for now it's enough for Jason to take it seriously  
"A fight .. must have been a hellava fight to do that?" Jason puts his hand turning Clay's head so he can look at it better "What the hell she hit you with?"

Clay frowns and turns his head away putting his own hand to it to cover the bruising  
"It was nothing much just ermm.." he lets out a long sigh. They both know he's lying "..it was a metal ornament … from the table… Jason she didn't mean it..."  
He now finds himself pleading the case of her defense. Finding excuses when there are none for her behaviour.

As Clay pleads her case to Jason he's really only trying to justify it in his own head.  
"She was angry with what Ash said, it was late, and I probably shouldn't have gone there. I should have waited till morning, till she was less upset.. I just…" he shrugs now unable to explain it any more "..I just needed to talk to her"

"Jesus ..Clay!" Jason shakes his head "She could have killed ya … You know that right?" Jason shakes his head over and over trying to make some sort of sense of it all.

He knows how to solve most problems but this this is something beyond his understanding. Oone of his men getting beaten by his girlfriend what the hell is that even all about  
"What the hell is going on? I mean how often you having this kinda fight? .. Clay this is not you! Letting this happen.. Jeez Clay explain this to me?"

Jason runs his hand through is hair as they both sit and look at each other  
"You never had all this with Stella. I mean, I'm not saying I liked her all that much but… just you never had all this!"

He sits on the table looking at Clay "Is Ash right?" he frowns as Clay looks up at him "Is she dangerous? I mean are you in some sort of danger here?... I mean what the hell can we do"

"Dangerous?" Clay laughs "NO! No, that's not it .. No!.. Look, she just lost her temper ..She doesn't mean it. It's nothing like what Ash is making out.. just ignore him."  
He watches the look in Jason's face. He can't have him feeling like this about him. Thinking of him as someone who can't handle his own life someone being a victim to his girlfriend  
"Look we're good. Honestly!… We had a talk, and everything's been okay since. We're just getting on planning for the baby now… that's my priority. I just gotta convince her to go through with it"  
Clay looks down biting his lip "That's the bit that worries me most... that she may not keep his baby"

"So, this baby it's a real thing…. that's gonna happen?"

Clay shrugs "I hope so .. yeah!"

Jason frowns "But she's not so sure?"

Clay shrugs again "It's just hard… you know she's worried about me being away all the time … she got doubts. It'll be fine .. we just need to talk. I told her Ray and you made it work with kids… so can we. .. But yeah, we did another test and it's all good! Look Jason I'm fine .. Really!" He sighs "We're gonna have a couple of days away, some fishing lodge, when I get back so we can have a proper talk…straighten everything out. Jason it's not gonna be a problem. I'm not gonna let this affect BRAVO okay?"

"Yeah well make sure you do! I need your head straight for this mission. You say you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah!… Yeah that earlier .. was just me taking a moment .. but it's all good. I'm straight. Totally focused on BRAVO and this mission" Clay looks up and doesn't say anything more just watching for Jason's reaction.

Jason watches him weighing up his options as Clay sits there still feeling embarrassed.

"Alright… But we get Trent to check that first.. he gives you the all clear then you're good to go! But... I don't want any more of this. When we get back, you sort this out, you understand me?"

"Yeah!...Yeah perfectly clear"

"Right then, Let's get geared up!"

Clay gets up from his seat and heads to the door "Oh and Clay….. get Trent to look at that"

He nods "Sure thing!" and leaves.

As he steps into the corridor he closes his eyes leaning head back against the wall. Part of him feels relieved that Jason's asked and part of him is still humiliated that he's in this position and the final part of him is still worried about himself, Where is this relationship really going.  
That worry he now has to push deep down inside to get his head focused for this mission. He heads into his cage to take a moment of quiet and grab his gear.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

**Three days later**

Ash wakes up in his bed from the deep sleep he's been in. He lays there with his ears buzzing from listening hard to the noise that he's sure woke him. He frowns as he looks at his phone and checks the time.

"Ahhh!" he rubs his arm, though it's healed really well his shoulder still hurts after he lays on it for anytime, and right now it aches quite badly.  
He takes two of the painkillers in the pot by the bed. It's only after he swallows them he wonders about which tablets she switched. He shakes the feeling off this would be new ones by now.

He gets up pulling his shorts on and quietly heads towards the top of the stairs.

Stopping at the top he listens again to the noise he can definitely hear now. As he gets halfway down the staircase he can see the dim glow of the light in the kitchen.

He pushes the kitchen door to find it empty, but the lights are on. He knows he turned them off before he retired to bed and he frowns unsure as he turns, hearing another noise from the living area.

He stands back as he pushes the door gently open. He can see the low light of the desk lamp and then he can make her out.  
She's sat at his desk in the chair, leaning back relaxed, wearing by the looks of it, only a blue shirt. His blue shirt. Her long slender, bare, tanned legs rested on the desk while she enjoys drinking a large glass of wine.

"What the hell are you doing here, Ann Marie?"

"Would you like a glass?" she smiles as she points to the bottle standing on the desk with the second glass she's already poured.  
Watching him frown at her she smiles again "Oh come on Ash … have a drink with me"

"I said what the hell are you doing?" He frowns nervously "You need to leave right now"

She smiles still drinking her wine "I don't think so … You don't want that" she points at the wine. Sitting upright in the chair, unwinding her legs from the desk "Please Ash I just wanna talk"

He looks around for her clothes but can see them

"Just talk" she smiles as she comes round the desk to him. He backs away and she smiles again "Do I scare you?" he forehead wrinkles as she watches him back off

"No! I just think.. it's better if you leave "

She smiles "Why? Can't you resist me? .. That's your weakness. Me I'm your weakness"

"Ann Marie, you've always been my weakness you know that … but we're not good for each other you know that, as well.. but now this …Clay's baby …this can't happen"

"But you let it the other night….. in the restaurant….You would have let it happen?"

"No! No, that was stupid that was me being weak giving into my lust and it's not happening again"

She picks the wine up from the desk and hands it to him "Peace offering!... I just wanna talk. I'm lonely with Clay away"

He takes the wine and takes a sip and she smiles watching him as he perches himself on the edge of the couch and she sits on the edge of the desk.

He looks at her long bronze legs and follows then up, up to the edge of the blue shirt, his blue shirt. He can make out that she isn't wearing anything underneath it and he closes his eyes taking deep breath. He gulps back the wine before getting up and pours another.

"Steady" she frowns "You'll be drunk"

"You need to go. I can't be here with you not like this" he points to her clothing or lack of it. "How did you get that shirt?"

She smiles and shrugs "I pop in from time to time"

He shakes his head "I need my key back Ann Marie. You can't keep coming here like this"

She shrugs "I thought you liked it but…. if that's what you want.. you'll have to search me for the key though" she smiles putting her arms out before returning to sipping her wine.

"Why? .. Can't you see that you can't keep doing this? You are crazy… you need help"

"I guess…maybe you're right" She smiles "Time will tell"

He frowns wondering about what she's saying what she's playing at "What do you want? … Because you sure as hell don't want Clay…so why go through with this whole baby thing.. why put him through that?"

"You know he would be hearth broken if I got rid of this baby…" she stops and watches him ".. unlike you! .. You were much more okay with that than Clay! Why is that?"

"Ann Marie .." he pauses "Is this what this is about?"

She shrugs and drinks from her wine "Why is it your son wants his baby so badly but you….. you couldn't wait to get rid of yours?"

He drinks more of the wine in his glass as she watches him. He swallows hard thinking about things before he answers "You know why we decided that"

"No! No not really…. I don't. I mean you said it was for the best but now I think about it, best for who? .. You or your career?… Your publicist?.. Everyone except me because .. I lost everything after that … You left me!"

He sits watching her "I'm sorry!... I should have been there for you …. but you made it so difficult .. I couldn't handle the fighting anymore.. it would never have worked and I couldn't be the father a child deserves…and you couldn't… it just wouldn't have worked…That's one thing Clay can be better at than me .. He will make a great father!"

"You don't deserve to be a father at all…. and you don't deserve to be happy! You don't know the sadness of losing a child …but you will!"

She takes a deep breath watching him as he watches her. He's looking her up and down but he closes his eyes trying to erase any thoughts he has about her.  
He can't believe even now looking at her how sexy she looks and how much she still turns him on despite all the feelings of anger he has towards her.

Knowing she's naked underneath that shirt, he can't let it influence him but she knows him, she can read him and as she drinks the last of her wine in her glass she teasingly bites her lip.  
She knows what effect she's having on him and as she stands in front of him running her hand over his bare chest she knows how weak she makes him.

He puts his hand to hers "STOP! .. This is not gonna happen!"

She nods with this smiles "Fine… that's your decision! You don't want me?"

He takes a breath wondering how to stop all this "You're seeing my son… You're having his baby…" He sighs losing his patience with her "What the hell…. Why don't you see this can't happen?"

"I see it … doesn't mean you don't want me though .. What if I don't have his baby… we could .."

"Then tell Clay it's over…. I'm begging you don't drag him into something between us!"

"Then what? You'll want me"

"No!" he shakes his head "No that's not gonna happen again"

"But it could .." she looks longingly at him "Ash, please!"

"NO!"  
He removes her hand from his chest pushing her back "Nothing is gonna happen. Definitely not while you're seeing Clay so stop that!"

She laughs "You must think I'm stupid. You want me to end it with Clay?" he looks nodding at her as she smiles "Then you have to tell him .. Tell about us. Tell him we're together"

He sighs "Ann Marie there is no us! There never will be.. we're over!"

"But why?... We're good together Ash, you know we were"

"NO! ….Jeez!" he runs his hand through his head "It was crazy and should never have been like that! Now, I need you get dressed and leave"

"Fine!" she frowns "I'll go but… lets just have a drink first. Old times sake.. hmmm? Come on it won't hurt" she pours the rest of the bottle into his glass "I'll open another" she smiles at him as she wanders to the kitchen and takes another from the rack.

He sighs "Jeez!" He drinks the wine back and shakes his head.  
Turning he sees her clothes on the couch and he lets out a long sigh as he thinks. Drinking the rest of the wine for courage he picks the garments up and heads into the kitchen.  
Gripping her roughly by the arm he shoves her clothes at her "Get dressed!"

She frowns "No… You said you were going to have a drink with me!" she carries on pouring the wine

"I said get dressed … Ann Marie, I mean it "

"NO!" she takes a sip and watches his face then throws the wine including the glass at him

"Jeez!... Ann Marie!"

The glass catches him on the side of the head and breaks with a slow trickle of blood down his face. He puts his hand to it. His anger boils over and he grabs her and her clothes, dragging her to the front door, opens it and shoves her out the doorway.

"ASH!...What the hell are you doing? .. You can't do this!" she stands in the cool night air in just the shirt and bare feet

"I don't care! You need to be gone!... GO!"

She's fuming now as he chucks her clothes at her on the floor and she starts to scoop them up. "You ll pay for this! You can't treat me like this!" she screams at him

"Sure fine …Get the hell out of here! I will make Clay listen! I will get him away from you!"

"Ash… please.." she has this pitiful look as she starts to unbutton the shirt she's wearing until she's standing there naked in his driveway.

"What the hell!? Ann Marie what the hell are you doing?"  
He looks around checking that his neighbor's can't see. Then what comes next throws him off balance as she lets out a high pitched scream  
"HELP!"

Ash panics and looks around as he grabs her "SHUT the fuck up! What the hell are you doing?"

"HELP ME!" she screams again

He covers her mouth with is hand "Put your clothes back on Ann Marie" he quickly tries to cover her up as she smiles at him, grabbing his hand putting it on her naked body.

"HELP!" the lights on the house next door start to come on

Ash is panicking more now and grabs her hard as she starts to hit him. "Get off me!" she lashes out.

He slaps her back hard across the face catching her in a way that makes her nose start to bleed. She puts her hand to it.  
Now naked with her face and hand covered in blood Ash realises how bad this is starting to look.

"Oh shit! Ash runs his hand through his hair "Ahh Jeez!" he wipes the sweat he's now feeling from his brow. Grabbing her and her clothes he pulls her back in the house.

She collapses naked, bleeding and in tears on the bottom steps of the staircase. He gets a towel from the kitchen for her nose and holds it to her before grabbing the blanket from the hallway chair and wrapping it round her shoulders

He now paces the hallway. Angry, panicked, sweating and sick with worry at the situation he's created. "Jesus Christ! Ann Marie .. this this is why we can't be together"

"You hit me!" she sobs

"You push it too far!.. Jeez!" he looks round seeing all the blood on the towel from her nose "Okay let me look" he lifts her chin as he looks at the bleeding .

"It's going to be fine .. Look, lets get you cleaned up"

He picks up his blue shirt and wraps it round her putting her arms in and helping her do the buttons it catches her and gets blood down the front. He sighs as he watches her face as he leads her to the kitchen and cleans up her nose with the cloth.

She smiles and puts her hand to his cheek then leans in to kiss him. He pushes her back "Stop okay .. this isn't going to happen!" Ash rubs his head he feels so tired now it must be the lateness of the hour.

She tries again putting her hand to his groin "You want me….. I know you do" she places his hand on her naked stomach under the shirt where the button are not done up "I want this to be your baby inside me… I want the child we gave up"

"Ann Marie,we…."

He closes his eyes, sighs and rubs his head then walks away. Taking the bottle of wine she opened, and a glass, he starts to fill it drinking it quickly down  
" I loved you Ann Marie but… not now,not after this. Not after Clay"

She nods "Okay.. okay we can't be together permanently, I understand that... but… once more for old times sake?" She smiles as she tilts her head watching him drink the wine.  
He rubs his head feeling so confused "No!" he steps back as she steps forward towards him.

"Yes!" she runs her hands through his hair and lifts his drooping chin "Yes.." she kisses him

He doesn't feel well now. Feeling dizzy and confused he tries to shake the feeling off "I… I…"

"Shhhhh!...Just relax" she strokes his hair "It's fine .. I'm gonna take care of you now" She runs her hand over his face

"Mmmmm" he feels dizzy and confused and she starts to kiss him. He knows its wrong but his arms feel like lead and he's finding it difficult to resist.

She smiles "It's the wine. Don't worry .. it's 'll be fine!...Just relax"

"What .. what's going on?"

"I know you want me .. Ash just say it .. say you want me"

He looks at her eyes they are so blue now and he puts his hand wiping the last of the blood from her cheek before he leans in and kisses her. He feels so out of control and drunk and he's not sure why, but she slips the shirt from her shoulders and he runs his hand over the naked curves of her sides and her moves his hand over her stomach.

"No!" he pulls back "Clay .. I can't"  
The blurred dizziness he keeps trying to fight it "I can't you're having Clay's baby"

"No! ..No I'm not .. There is no baby, ..not yet! Ash it's you I want .. you know that!"

She watches him seeing his eyes cloud into a drunken stupor "Clay was... I wanted you to pay for what you did to me but.. this this can make it right… I can have your baby"

He closes his eyes "I need to sit down" he's unsteady on his feet now

She smiles "Steady.. you'll be fine. I promise"

She leads him by the hand onto the staircase. He can hardly get his foot on the bottom step it feels like he's stepping on water "What the hell's wrong with me?"

"Shhhh! I told you, you drank the wine too quickly. Its gonna be fine!"


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: You're gonna lose everything **

As she leads him into the bedroom pushing him back on the bed she leans in kissing him hard on the lips. Her tongue entwined with his. She's missed this between them, and she lets him know as he gently and softly runs his hand over her naked skin but as she straddles her legs across his body he holds her back away from his face  
"Somethings wrong .. this .. I don't feel well"

"No! Ash,...sshh! It's fine .. it'll wear off" she smiles "But you want this? You want me?" she leans back in to kiss him, her long blonde hair falling either side of his face as she places her lips against his. Looking him deep in the eyes "Tell me…say it. Say you want me"

He runs his hands down her back looking straight into those deep blue eyes. Eyes of so very blue only inches from his face  
"I don't know about this. Look Ann Marie you need to end it with Clay because this is wrong…" he's eyes are blurring over now and he rubs his aching head. "Wait.. stop!"

"I will.. when I'm sure .. that you want me.. then I will end it with him, now just relax…. Ash let's just enjoy being with each other" she kisses his naked chest.

Taking a moment running his hand through her long hair as nothing makes sense. He knows this is wrong, but he can't seem to control himself "What the hell did you do?"

"Sssshhh! It's fine .. it won't hurt you .. just makes it easier for you to relax. Don't fight it"

"Did you give me something?... What did you give me …in the wine?" he frowns confused even more now

She smiles brushing his hair from around his face "Nothing .. its fine" she leans in kissing him. He's trying to resist now but her naked body against his is too much for his senses

"You want me so much don't you … I can feel it" she smiles. Indeed she can see and feel how much he wants her. He watches her. Not totally sure what's going on but yes she's right he does want her. He can't physically stop his body wanting her even if his brain tells him it's wrong.

She knows she's turning him on, the touch of her flesh against his is definitely arousing him and that's a fact he can't hide. He pulls her head towards his and kisses her hard and deep ""I always want you know that .. but."

"Ahhhhh!" She lets out a long groan as she eases herself on top of him pushing her body tight to his. Then closing her eyes she gathers her hair and pulls it up on top of her head holding it so he can see all of her nakedness on top of him and she relaxes and enjoys every soft touch to her skin as he he runs his hands over her.

"Mmmmm! You're enjoying this I can tell" she smiles letting her hair cascade back down over her shoulders she rocks back against him causing him to moan in enjoyment.

She smiles with pleasure again "Ash… let's make our baby!"

He nods sitting himself up forward. He's not sure about making a baby but he does want her body. He teases her now with his kisses on her breast as they sit locked in pleasure facing each other.

"That's better" she smiles as he relaxes, and she pushes her hips further towards him.

He closes his eyes feeling the rush of excitement coursing along his veins. He wants her so badly now he can't control the urge any longer and he turns her around, holding her head down with one hand and pushing into deep from behind. The force with which he wants her causes her to gasp and even to grimace with pain as his hand grips her neck tightly holding her still. Then riding the waves of blurred adrenaline, he lets out a long gasp

"Ohhhhh Geez!"

And just as suddenly as his desires overcame his body they stop. He stops, he doesn't move. The moment of absolute pleasure empties from him and is now rapidly filled with a feeling of self-loathing.  
A feeling of disgust with himself that the once disciplined man is undone by her. That she's teased his senses the way she always did and caused him to regret his actions

He lets her go and lies back on the bed rubbing his head.

"Ash, what's wrong?" she frowns at him the rapidness of him ending it makes her show concern

"Oh god what the hell" he feels out of control as she continues to runs her hand over his chest "NO! Get the hell off me!" he removes her hand and pushes it away "What the hell did we do!"

He sits up pushing her away while he tries to shake of the drugged up feeling he has in his head. Then getting himself up he staggers to the bathroom, running the cold water in the sink he splashes his face trying to shake off the feeling clouding his judgement.

"Shit!"

She stands in the doorway watching him firstly it's a look of pure love and enjoyment just watching him but as he looks round frowning at her it changes to one of pure anger.

"No!...You don't do that…" she shakes her head at him "You don't just leave me there, like that!... Not after we made love"

"Ann Marie.." he doesn't know what to say. He doesn't know how he feels only how disappointed he is in himself "What the hell?... That wasn't making love .. that was sex. We had sex.. whatever you just did .. I don't know .. but ..I wasn't in control"

"But you wanted me.. I could tell"

He looks at himself in the mirror and sighs. The man who stares back at him he doesn't recognise. He nods "Yeah, yeah I did" he can't deny it, he wanted her body, he wanted to have sex with her. The same as the first time she came to his hotel room offering it and he couldn't resist but even his own reflection is disgusted with him. He lets out a long sigh  
"You need to go!"

"What?.. Ash no… please let me stay!" she runs her hand over his back

"No!... " he's so angry now with himself mainly but the only person he can take that anger out on is her and he did lashes out, pushing her hard against the bathroom wall.  
She hits her head on the side of the door frame. As she gets up a small trickle of blood runs down her cheek

Now it's her turn and she screams in anger and while he still stands leaned over the sink looking at himself in the mirror trying to gather his thoughts and emotions, she grabs the large glass vase from the shelf and smashes it hard over his head.

He drops down onto his knees, hitting his head on the counter as he falls and letting out a large groan of pain, his head blurs more and his eyes darken over until he can feel nothing, and he crashes onto the floor unconscious.

He lays there naked on the floor not moving and she just stands watching him. The anger in her face isn't subsiding  
"You son of a bitch.. You're not treating me like this!"

She looks in the mirror at the cut on her head. Touching it she grimaces at the soreness and pain "Shit! What did you do!"

Then she frowns looking down at his still body lying there. Just watching the slow deep breathes he's taking "You're gonna lose everything now. You're gonna pay for this, Ash!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Clay puts his rucksack on this back as she waves at him from the parking lot, and as he crosses the tarmac to where the car is parked she runs to greet him. Throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him as he wraps his arms around her.

"I missed you so much"

"Hey .. I missed you to" he leans in and kisses her. His tongue finding hers he can't get enough of her. He steps back looking at her putting his hand on her stomach "How's baby Spenser doing?"

"He's good" she smiles

"Hey what did you do to your head" he frowns

"Oh…." She touches the sore cut on the side of her temple ".. nothing .. actually, was the kitchen cupboard this time" she smiles "Don't worry I sorted it out it" she kisses him again  
"I packed everything .. we can go straight to the fishing lodge and look... I got a stack of brochures" she picks them up from the passenger seat through the open window "There's errm…. some great baby furniture I like.. maybe we can go shopping when we get back"

He kisses her again "This means you've made your mind up to keep the baby?"

She nods "Yes… Yes, we're gonna have a baby" she wraps her arms around his neck kissing him

"Maybe I should go back to the apartment and get cleaned up first?"

"No!.. What's the point? We can do that when we get there.. let's just go … before anyone starts looking for us" she looks around at the parking lot now filling up with the guys loading their trucks.

He looks at the time on his phone and some of the texts he's received while he's been away. She snatches it from his hand  
"I'll take that for now!" she switches his phone off "I don't want us to be disturbed! I just want some us time for a little while.. yeah?" she frowns at him "I want you to just us!" she puts her hand on her stomach again as she the takes his rucksack off his back and hands him the car keys  
"You can drive!"  
She leans in giving him a long lingering kiss."the sooner we get there the more time we have for … me showing you how much I missed you!" she gently massages the groin of his jeans.  
He swallows hard at the thoughts now stirring in his loins and looks around the parking lot making sure no one notices what she's doing.

"Oh god I have missed you… let's get going!" he smiles

She sexily bites her lip "Go on then" she points to the driver side "Hey, maybe we can stop off somewhere on the way?" she licks her lip teasing him

"Hmmm! Maybe we can!"

He opens the driver's door and gets in all the images of the mission, him missing his target the balling out Jason gave him on the way back. Are all now faded away as he looks at her. He puts the pile of baby brochures on the back seat as he smiles and then starts the car.

She settles herself in the passenger seat running her hand over her stomach while looking at him intently as he pulls the car out of the space and they drive away.

Jason and Sonny look round "Oh lover boy looks like he's happy now"

"Yeah well let's hope he gets his act together these next few days. I can't have another mission like this one where he's not focused. That was a complete shit shower!"

Jason loads his bags into his truck as Sonny puts his in the trunk of his car

"No … let's hope not!.. You fancy a drink?"

"Yeah! Yeah sure I could do with one!"

Sonny closes the trunk and turns to look as Clay drives away. He shakes his head and lets out a long sigh as they disappear out of sight.

Ray calls out from across the lot "Hey! Jason… what's that!" pointing to where Spenser car was parked not only a few minutes ago

Sonny shrugs to Jason "Dunn no!" he wanders over to the now empty space and picks something up. Holding it in the air to show Jason "Clay… he's left his rucksack" Sonny shakes his head "Geez that boy will lose his head at the moment "

He walks back to the vehicles

"I tell ya Sonny .. he needs to switch back on!...and soon"

Sonny opens the bag and looks inside "Don't think it's anything important .. Just a Tee and some sweats.. oh shit! His phone is in here!"

"What .. why the hell would he leave that….." Jason sighs and shakes his head "Geez!"

"We'll take it to the bar .. he's bound to realise and come back for it .. Where the hell did they say they were going anyway?"

"Dunno really … thought some lake side retreat… fishing place.. I don't remember"

Jason frowns as he shoves the rucksack on the passenger seat of his truck. "I'll meet you at the bar" he turns around "Ray .. you coming for a drink?"

Ray nods and puts his hand up to acknowledge that he is.

Ash comes around he's in pain

"Ahhhwww!"

He closes his eyes to the ache in his head. It's throbbing so much and as he goes to put his hand to it he can't. He can feel the wetness of the blood on his face, but his hands won't move.

He shakes his head trying to focus. The only way he can describe how he feels is like he's hungover. He looks at his face in the mirror and he can see his blood-soaked hair. He also notices the syringe on the counter by the sink.

"What the hell?" he frowns as he struggles to move but can't. His arms are taped with thick black tape to the arms of the wooden chair he finds himself sitting in. The same with his legs he can't move, bound tight to the wood

"What the…. ANN MARIE!"

He struggles and fights against it, but it won't budge. He looks round the bathroom again at the large cut on his head which is dried but has bled quite a lot by the looks of it.

Then he notices that the mirror is broken, and shower screen smashed into a million small shards of glass that spread around his bare feet. His focus and attention start to come back and he notices all the shelves empty and everything is smashed and on the floor

"Holy shit!"

A panic and fear starts to rise inside him "ANN MARIE!" he calls out but hears nothing.

He now has full focus and looks at himself naked in the chair taped by the hands and feet unable to move.

"ANN MARIE for God Sake! HELP!"

He calls out to no reply. His breathing deepens as he wonders what the hell he's going to do. The bathroom door is shut "Oh shit!" he gulps trying to think. His mind racing trying to go over everything that happened earlier

"Earlier? Is it earlier or how long has he been here?" He doesn't even know the time let alone the day.

He looks again at the empty syringe on the counter "What the hell is that?" then twists his neck to the biggest,most unbroken part of the mirror. He can see a large red bump on his neck, and he frowns wondering if she gave him something "Oh shit!"

The sweat of fear starts to run on his forehead now "Focus Ash, focus!" He calms himself while he tries to think what to do. Then he notices the medicine cabinet behind him reflecting in the large broken mirror.

Turning his neck as far as he can he looks at the lipstick writing "Time for you to lose everything now! Always remember I love you x"

"ANN MARIE! Please!" He screams out loud again "Shit!" then he focuses for a minute struck with a total fearful dread and panic comes over him. One that would make him unable to move even if he was unbound.  
"Oh God…. CLAY!"


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: Karma? **

"Oh!...Cheers" Jason looks up as Sonny puts the beer on the table.

Clay's bag sits on the chair and Sonny picks it up and moves it "Well he never came back for that" Sonny frowns

Jason shakes his head as Ray looks up from his phone and picks up his beer up "You think he even noticed yet he's missing his phone?"

"I don't know" Jason shakes his head "What the hell's the matter with that kid lately?" Sonny looks at Ray.  
The thing is they all know what's wrong with him

"So, we even know where they've gone?" Sonny frowns as he sips from his beer bottle

"I dunno" Jason shrugs "What he say to you?"

"Nothing much just .. they were going to some fishing lodge…. get away and talk about the baby."

"You know she's got him under some sort of spell about this baby and that worries me"

Ray looks up again "What…you think maybe she gonna talk him into quitting?...the team I mean."

"I dunno.. maybe!... Maybe she will"

"No!...No, Clay would never quit the teams for a woman"

"No … not for a woman … but he might for his kid!"

Ray and sonny look at Jason knowing he might be right

Sonny thinks for a moment as he nods in agreement with Jason's statement "Yeah!...No way would he wanna be like his old man…. But quit? …Seriously!… No, it won't come to that… Think he was just wanting to be sure she keeps the baby"

Sonny looks round and drinks some more beer its now seriously concerning him that Clay might quit.

"Whats wrong with you?" Jason kicks his leg

Sonny shrugs "I dunno… but we can't let him quit… You know Jason you have to put this right!"

"Hey .. look no one said he's gonna quit, right1….We need to give him sometime .. sort this mess out.. Now drink your beer and shut the hell up"

Sonny smiles but it's still praying on his mind that Clay might quit and even the thought worries him.

Jason looks at the rucksack on the floor. He drags it over to his seat and opens it up. Sifting through the clothes he takes out the phone out. He looks at it pressing the glass with his thumb "Shit!...Password protected.. anyone got her number?" he frowns as he looks at Ray and Sonny

They both shrug and shake their heads with a blank expression

"Hell, I don't even know her surname" Sonny admits

"Jenkins….I think he said" Ray looks up from his phone "…or did I get that wrong?"

Sonny shrugs again "Like I said I don't know!"

"You know who will know…." Jason sighs as it's his turn to look at the others "Ash!"

"Worth a try…you got his number?"

Jason takes a deep sigh an finds the contact in his phone "You know I don't even remember why I have his number in my phone" he searches till he finds it "but maybe a good job I do!"

He swallows hard as he calls. Coughing to clear his throat before he speaks but then he stops as the voicemail kicks in "errm….Ash.. it's Jason….Hayes. Look, can you call me when you get this.? I need to.. look…just call me"

He shrugs "Voicemail…. You want another beer?" he looks at Sonny who nods but Ray shakes his head

Jason sighs as he sits looking at Clay's phone then he looks at his own again wondering why Ash hasn't called him back. It's getting late and he looks at his watch before hitting the call button on Ash's stored contact "Yeah ..Ash it's Jason again…. Look.. .please….can you call me .. It's ermm.. about Clay!"

He shakes his head and finishes his beer before he throws Clay's cell phone back into the bag and zips it up.  
Ray's long gone home, and Sonny and Davis are engrossed in conversation "You know what guys….. I'm gonna head home"

"Sure, thing!" Sonny frowns "You get hold of Ash?"

"No!… Hopefully he'll call me in the morning.." he lets out a long sigh "Night then!"

"Night!" Sonny frowns at Davis he can see Jason has the weight of the world on his shoulders "Now he's gone…. you wanna call it a night too?" he runs his hand up the thigh of her jeans

She smiles "Sure thing! Your place or mine?"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Jason sits at home toying with Clay's phone again. Something just doesn't feel right. "There is no way Clay would leave his phone like this without coming back"

Jason has a really bad feeling and he hits call again on Ash's contact but once again it goes to voicemail

"Look Ash… " he coughs "I know we don't get on but.. But can you just call me? Please!... It's important… things you said about Ann Marie… I'm worried about Clay and I need to know where he is"

o-o-o-o-o-o

Ash puts his head up again shaking off the tiredness of sleep as he hears his cell ringtone again.  
He has no idea where his phone is but it's the third time he's heard it ring now. Only good thing is that might mean someone is looking for him.

He looks at himself in the mirror. He's had very little sleep. Only dozing off from time to time as he's so uncomfortable sitting like aches from head to toe and as he looks at himself in the broken mirror he can see what a disheveled mess he looks.

"Oh no!" The sudden feeling and urge comes over him again he's been trying to put the moment off, but he looks up at the ceiling and closes his eyes. "Oh god!"

He's held as long as he could but once again he needs to pee. The only choice he has to let the warm liquid flow from his body on to the floor. He doesn't know whether to feel angry or embarrassed as he watches it run down onto the floor with what must have been yesterdays.

That's the second time he's had to go now, though due to his dehydration it's slightly less this time. He realises he's going to have to do something otherwise things are only going to get worse in here.  
If he tips the chair he will fall and the floor is covered in shards of shattered glass, and now his fluids, but if he does nothing … well then he could very well die here in the bathroom, naked, tied to a chair.

Either way the options aren't great. But doing nothing … that's not an option now.

"Shit!" he frowns and tries to wriggle around in the seat. It's gotta to be at least two day that he's sat here and his buttocks and legs ache from sitting.  
His shoulder aches with pain and he tries hard to break the tape several times but she's done it so tight and so many turns that it just won't come loose.

"Okay!...Phewwww!" he takes a breath and forces his feet onto the floor

"Arrgghh!" he quickly lifts them again as they touch the glass and it cuts into the bottom of his soles. "and again….arghhhhh" he grits his teeth and pushes his limits mustering his strength he forces them down.  
He can feel the chair wobble and he steadies himself again "Shit that was close!"

If he can just get to the sink tap for some water that would be a start.

He tries to move again but the chair wobbles too much this time and before he can stop it he over balances and comes crashing down to the floor and now he's laying in the mixture of glass and his own urine. He begins to wonders if this is some karma hell for what he's done to Clay.

Now he can't move at all

"Arrrrrghhh!... God damn you ANN MARIE!" he closes his eyes and in total frustration he wants to cry but he can't even do that. All he can do now is shut his eyes and hope for some sleep.

o-o-o-o-o-o

Sonny looks up "Oh hell!"

Davis grabs his neck "Don't stop!… Sonny…. ignore it" she breaths deeply arching her back willing him into her.

He smiles watching her face and goes back to kissing her, but the stupid phone keeps ringing and it's putting him off.

She grabs at his buttocks "I'm telling you Sonny Quinn… ooooohhhh! DO NOT stop right now… ooohhhh! Geez!" Lisa's about ready to ride a wave of fire as Sonny pushes himself deeper against her but then the annoying ring tone he has doesn't stop playing.

He manages to keep the momentum and rhythm against Lisa while trying to stretch his neck enough to see who's calling. He doesn't want to ignore it as part of him is worried it might be Clay "Jason! Oh hell!... I'm sorry babe!" he kisses her and stops "I'll make it up to you I promise"

"Oh! Shit!" Lisa closes her eyes in frustration pulling the sheet from Sonny's body to cover her own "You son of bitch …..this better be for a good reason!"

She lays back on the bed taking deep breaths trying to calm down her emotions "Do you know how close I was?" she lets out a long sigh.

"I'm so sorry babe.. but it's Jason… shhh!" he puts his fingers to his lips gesturing her to be quiet while he calls Jason back  
"Jay man… what's up.. Do you know what the time is?"

"Yeah sorry about that .. were you busy?"

He looks round at Davis with her back turned to him "No… just sleepin' What the hell's up? Can't you sleep?"

"I need you to meet me at Ash's place"

"What now?.. Why?"

"I don't know. Sonny somethin's wrong.. I just called the studio to speak to him about Clay, but they said he never showed, for his cable slot…for two days now, and he's still not answering his calls or messages!"

"Maybe he's getting' laid?" he looks round at Lisa's sexy butt sticking out from the sheet and sighs _"Like I should be doin'!"_

"No… they said he never misses his TV slot!… So, can you meet me?"

"Yeah sure… but what…like right now?"

"Yeah if it's not a problem?"

He looks round again "No.. no problem! ..I'll meet you there!" He starts to pull his pants on, and Davis turn over

"You going out?"

"Yeah… yeah sorry….Look, you go back to sleep! I gotta meet Jason at Ash's place"

"Why.. what's happened?"

"Nothin' …. At least I don't think there is" he leans in and kisses her "Now just go to sleep .. I won't be long"


	18. Chapter 18

** Chapter 18: We need to find Clay **

Jason pulls the truck up outside the house. Sonny pulls the passenger door open and gets in

"Hey!"

"Hey!... So what's going on?"

"Nothing … I don't know, just.. somethin's not right"

The house is in total darkness, but the blinds are all open

"You think he's gone away?"

Jason shakes his head "Why wouldn't he tell the studio if he was going away? No... somethings not right for him to just not turn up?"

"I dunno" Sonny shrugs "Who the hell knows how Ash Spenser thinks!"

Jason sighs "We need to find him … he's the only one might know where Clay and Ann Marie are"

Jason opens the truck door and gets out followed by Sonny they ring the doorbell and knock. Jason stands at the door waiting while Sonny tries to look in the dark of the windows.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Ash comes round he as he hears the sound of the doorbell  
"HELLO!….oh my god …..HELP! he shouts with all the energy he can muster "HELP!"  
He listens the doorbell rings again "HELLLLLLPPPP! I'M UP HERE!"  
He knows he's probably calling out in vain, but he has to do something. He tries to wriggle the chair round but since he fell he's been wedged fast laying in the broken glass. Every time he moves the glass shards cut at any skin he has in contact with it.

"HELP!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Sonny keeps squinting in the window he turns the torch light on his phone and shines it in into the darkness  
"Oh shit!... Jason!...Check this out"

Jason leaps the two small steps by the door and is beside Sonny and peers into the room where Sonny indicates it's hard to make out what's gone on inside but it concerns both of them

"Jesus Christ! What the … ASH!" Jason calls out loudly. He goes back to the door and tries the handle and it opens "It's not locked" he looks at Sonny and Sonny looks at him and they nod at each other. Now all their training kicks in as they enter the hallway.

Sonny quietly checks the kitchen "CLEAR!"

Jason the living room "Clear in here!… But what the hell happened?" Jason looks round at the scene in the room it's totally trashed. Strewn with broken glass and paperwork everywhere and a very similar scene greets Sonny in the kitchen. Broken crockery and glass covering the floor and they retreat and meet back in the hallway

"What the fuck happened?" Sonny's alarmed by the mess. "You think he's been attacked again?"

Jason picks the blue shirt up of the hallway floor. It has blood stains down the front of it and on the arm "Something sure as hell happened" he sighs "Let's check upstairs!"

They quietly move from the hallway to the top of the staircase. Checking the landing then moving forward silently, Jason nods as he goes forward to check the bedroom first.

Sonny puts his hand on the bathroom door and quietly opens it. The first thing that hits him is the smell and he puts his hand to his nose and mouth  
"Jeez! What the hell happened….." he stops in disbelief at the scene in front of him "Oh Jeeez !...JACE! Get in here!"

Ash looks round, he closes his eyes in a sigh of relief. It dawns on him for a moment the embarrassing situation he is in. Naked, bound to a chair and now laying on a bed of glass surrounded by his own bodily fluids of blood and urine.

Jason pushes the door open "Shit!… Ash, you okay?"

As the words come out of Jason's mouth Sonny starts to laugh as the sight of Ash laying bound and naked "Does he look okay?" Sonny laughs again unable to help himself.  
Despite the seriousness of the situation it tickles Sonny's sense of humour, in fact so much so that he just had to take his phone out to click a couple of pictures. "That's funny as..." he looks at Jason

Jason frowns. He doesn't find it quiet so funny as the seriousness of it hits him and as he looks at Ash's fearful face "Sonny pack it in now!.. This is serious."

"Yeah! Sorry…yeah you're right. I'm sorry"

"Are you gonna get me the hell out of here or just stand there?"  
Ash sighs he's quite distraught after the whole incident and it's humiliating enough that it has to be Sonny and Jason that find him but leaving him there while they stare is making even worse.

They manage to carefully tread through the glass and pick him up Jason takes a knife form his pocket and cuts the tape holding his arms and legs and Ash sighs in relief as the pressure is released.

"You okay? Do you think you can stand?"

As they try to stand him up he virtually collapses form exhaustion in his arms. He's weak and leg muscles have seized up they won't hold him.

"How the hell long have you been here?"  
Sonny is now a little more concerned and he wrap a towel round him to give him some dignity. They ease him out of the bathroom and Sonny carefully walks him to the bedroom. That too has been totally trashed.

Jason's on the phone "Trent… can you bring your kit ..We need some medical assistance at Ash Spenser house…. I'll text you the address"

"Yeah sure boss .. there a problem?"

"Yeah! Yeah but I'll explain when you get here" he hangs up and heads into the bedroom where Sonny is tending to him as best he can.

"What the hell happened?"

Ash looks up and around the room he shakes his head running his hand through is hair realising the smell that's filling his nostrils is from him and its smells really bad. He looks at Jason "I need to take a shower and get some water"

"Just stay there till Trent gets here. He'll get you some fluids. Sonny will get you some water to drink"

Ash tries to stand up "I have to have a shower" he's weak on his feet "I stink.. I can't stay like this"

Jason sighs as Sonny comes back from downstairs he's brought a Jug of water . The smell from Ash stil hits him "Jace he needs a shower, man"

"Yeah .. I guess you're right … let's just get some of the is glass cleared up first then"

Ash comes through from the bathroom he's still weak on his legs and his arm hurts, but he smells and feels better after the shower.

Trent takes a look at the cuts on his body and treating the more serious ones on his feet from where he tried to stand up. He puts him a fluid line up for the dehydration and they make him rest on the bed. He looks better than he did but still not great.

Trent puts the syringe in his bag he looks at Jason "God knows where she got that sedative from"

Jason frown "You think she'll have any more"

"Depends how she got it

Jason takes a big sigh "We gotta find Clay! .. So, Ash, you think you know where this fishing lodge might be?"

Ash shakes his head" I don't know .. I never heard her talk about it before"

"Jeez!" Jason rubs his head

Ash frowns as he looks around the room "Is the rest of the house as bad as this?"

"Worse!" Sonny shakes his head he's stood in the doorway chewing his gum.

Ash lets out a much longer, tireder sigh and looks at the drip in his arm. Jason puts his hand on him and pushes him back into the pillow "Just get some rest!"

"What the hell we gonna do Jace?" Sonny's voice showing his concern

"I dunno.. we'll think of something"

"Jace.. we gotta find him, man. All this .. she's lost it I mean she could be doing anything to Clay!"

"Yeah I know We'll find hi Sonny …we will! .. We just…ahhh! " Jason's angry with himself he blames himself for not taking the situation seriously much sooner. If only he'd listened to Ash when it started. He leans head back on the wall and tries to think

Ash opens his eyes after falling asleep for a short while "Her father!"

"What?" Sonny half asleep in the chair he's been left watching Ash while Jason and Trent went to tidy some stuff up downstairs and wait for Ray.

"Here Father! …The fishing lodge it might be a place of her fathers … he owns the apartment she lives in .. he's errm.. a Doctor, plastic surgeon"

Sonny frowns he calls down the corridor "Jace!… Jason! .. You need to come hear this "

Jason's in the room as Ash explains "Okay! You got his number… then call him!"

"Err mm…" Ash hesitates "I don't think he'll speak to me"

"What? .. What do you mean he won't speak to you? Just tell him what you want to know!"

Ash swallows hard "We didn't exactly hit it off"

Sonny and Jason frown as they watch him "What do you mean you didn't hit it off?"

"Exactly that … He doesn't like me!"

"I'm not asking him to like you…. just to tell you where this fishing place is." Jason sighs "Alright if we can't call him… we go to him!" he looks at his watch as he sees the daylight through the window now "Get up .. you need to get dressed!"

"What? .. No, you don't understand .. he won't speak to me Jason!"

"Oh, he will." Jason frowns and rubs his head he's exhausted and worrying about what might be happening to Clay isn't helping his patience and he drags Ash from the bed "I said get dressed!"

Sonny smiles. Why does Ash never learn about pushing Jason's buttons.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

They arrive at the expensive office. It impresses Sonny "Woah!"

"Her father's a doctor?" Jason looks at Ash as they stride down the corridor. Ash is more running to keep up because he's still struggling to walk with his legs still feeling very weak

"Yeah! A plastic surgeon.. It's how he affords the apartment she keeps"

"So why do you and him not get along? I'm guessing he knew about you and Ann Marie?"

Ash sighs as they arrive at reception. He's glad as it gives him time to avoid Jason's question

"Can I help you, gentlemen?"

"Yeah errm…. we need to speak with Dr Jenkins?" Jason smiles at the receptionist

"I'm afraid Dr Jenkins isn't seeing people to day but if you'd like to make an appointment."

"No we need to see him right now!... Just tell him it's urgent"

I'm sorry as I said…. "

"Oh, he'll see us and _RIGHT_ now!" Jason smiles at her again

"Look,Sir, I'm sorry but…as I said"

"DR JENKINS!" Jason starts to call out "DR JENKINS … My name is Jason Hayes I need to speak to you!"  
Jason's up and down the office corridor Shouting his name "Dr MAX JENKINS!"

There's a silence for a moment and an office door opens "Can I help you?" as a tall well-groomed man stands in the doorway to a large office

"Dr Max Jenkins?"

"Yes, I am he… how can I help you?" he frowns not recognising Jason

Jason and Sonny look him and down. He's very well taken care of and looks like he works out, a lot. Tall is an under exaggeration and he's well-built but in no way does he look old enough to have Ann Marie as his daughter.

"Jason Hayes.." Jason puts his hand out " and this is err mm … Ash…"

"I know who he is" his pleasant stance now changes "What the hell does he want is more the question?"

Ash stands in front of him "Max… we need to talk"

"What the hell are you doing here Ash?" He looks him over. Despite being cleaner now he still looks disheveled and has cuts to his face " and what the hell happened to you?"

Ash takes a sigh "Max we don't have time .. we need to find Ann Marie do you know where she is?" he swallows hard

Max scoffs with a laugh "You son of bitch. You still can't leave her alone even after everything … I warned you what would happen if you came near her again!" he takes a breath "Have you upset her? Because if you have!"  
He watches Ash's reaction seeing him looking for the words to explain and before anyone one expects it and out the blue he throws a punch and it catches Ash clear on the jaw.

Ash goes down like a pile of bricks.  
He lays on the floor rubbing his face. Max leans over him again with a threatening tone "If I find out you're sleeping with her again you dirty pervert….so help me god!"  
Jason steps between them. He puts his hand on Max chest to hold him back. He sure has strength Jason can tell that by the way his chest flexes against Jason's strength  
Max points at Ash as he looks at Jason "Get him the hell out of here…. and keep his dirty hands off my daughter!"

Ash doesn't answer he doesn't want to lie anymore, and he looks away embarrassed as he stands up "Max…. I know what you think of me … but please we need to find her"

"I asked you a question .. are you sleeping with her again?"

Ash swallows hard "Look.. I know you don't wanna hear it but.. I can explain"

Max takes another step forward and both Jason and Sonny step him

"Forget him … _I_ need to know where she is …." Jason sighs "She has one of my team, Clay,… I need to know where she might have taken him!"

Jason pauses now choosing his words carefully last thing he needs it to piss this guy off into silence "Have you heard from her? .. You know where the fishing cabin is? Look err mm.. there's no easy way to put this but… I think she might need some help"

Max frowns "Help .. what sort of help … and what's the fishing lodge got to do with it?"

"She errrm.. well she trashed Ash's place… tied him up and now she's gone off with Clay"

"Clay her boyfriend?" Max nods

"You know him?"

"I don't know him, no .. but she told me she was seeing a new guy…that he was nice, and they were staying at the apartment for a while… so why this with Ash now?"

"Clay… he err mm …he's Ash's son!"

"Oh my god! " Max lets out a sigh as he speaks "You really are some piece of work, so not only did you not stay away .. What now you've slept with her behind her boyfriend… no worse, your son's back? You know I should just…. I'm gonna ruin you for this … know that!"

Jason coughs "Can we just focus here… Look, did you know she was pregnant?"

"What? No! .. No, she didn't say anything"

"She's not!" Ash embarrassedly looks up from the floor "She made it up … she …Oh god!" he rubs his head "She wanted a baby with me"

Max loses it now and drags Ash from the floor "What?….. No! Not after the last time .. What you put her through… she never got over that!…How the hell could you let this happen.. you knew she was vulnerable. Why didn't you come to me before?"

"Oh and you would have listened?"

"What? Wait! What last time?" Sonny looks at Ash and takes Max's hand off him.

"Oh, didn't he tell you?... He got her pregnant and then he coerced her into a termination.. and then….. he left her!"

"It wasn't like that.. Max I told you she was violent"

"She's vulnerable .. she lost her brother and then when her Mother killed herself.. but you knew all that and still "

Jason frowns "So what you're saying she's not having Clay's baby?... Is she even pregnant?"

"I don't know…I don't know the truth anymore!" Ash sighs

"But you did sleep with her?"

Ash looks away, he swallows hard as everyone looks at him with disgust "Yeah, yeah I did…. Oh god!" he puts his head in his hands

"And that's why she left you the way she did in the bathroom!" Sonny laughs "You know I don't really blame her .. If we hadn't needed to get Clay back I would have left you there.. you piece of shit!"

Sonny walks away he can't even look at Ash now.

Max takes a breath and looks at Jason "I have a fishing cabin. Lake Montana about an hour's drive away…" Jason nods thanking him for the information  
"Mr Hayes do you think she's done something to Clay?"

Jason shakes his head "I don't know .. but I hope not"


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19: I love you Ann Marie **

**While Bravo rescue Ash, Clay is blissfully unaware of the situation and danger he might face as they continue to enjoy the peace of the Fishing retreat.**

"Hey, you okay? You've been quiet since we got here"

"Hey!" she manages to raise a small smile "I'm fine!"

"You sure?"

"Yeah sure….. What are you doing?" she looks round from where she's seated on the end of the small wooden fishing jetty dipping her feet in and out of the lake water. Leaning back enjoying the last of the late afternoon sun before it disappears behind the trees for the day.  
"You know this water is so freezing!" she frowns as she looks round at him

"It will be it runs off the mountain and the lake...and it's deep that makes it colder"

She takes her feet out and rubs them to warm the ends of her toes "It's nice on my feet but…way too cold to swim!" she laughs "Clay, you alright?" she furrows her head watching him search in the bag on the floor near where she sits.

"Have you seen my cell?"

"Cell ..no,why?... Last time I saw it was…" she thinks "...when I put it in your bag…. when you arrived back, the rucksack you had. The brown one!"

"Well I've looked everywhere and I can't find it"

"What the bag or the phone?"

"Both"

She shakes her head "No sorry…. Why, do you need it?"

"I was gonna call Jason…just check in with the team… I'm not sure I told them where we were goin' to be staying."

"Do they need to…know, where we are I mean?" she shrugs again "Oh, did you try the trunk of the car?"  
She turns to look at him squinting with the sun in her eyes as she watches him standing smiling at her "What?"

"You know look perfect sat there!"

She smiles at him again now standing up to look at him shading the sun from her eyes with her hand. The light summery floral dress she has on is nearly see through in the sunlight and he can make out the curves of her body underneath. He's trying to imagine how she will look when she fully pregnant with his baby.

Her face loses its smile and drops to a frown "Oh no!"

"What?" he furrows his head "You okay?"

She shakes her head "No! ….don't be angry, but …I think I left your rucksack in the parking lot at the base! Now I think about it, I remember I put your cell in the bag, zipped it up then stood it down when you kissed me.. I think I forgot to pick it up…. Oh my god I'm so sorry!"

"Okay … It's alright." He smiles "Hopefully Jason or Sonny will have picked it up … Look, let me use your phone and I'll call Jason and ask him"

"Mine?" She frowns "err mmm…. yeah sure" she swallows hesitating as she takes her phone from the pocket in the side of her dress "The signals pretty poor here though"

"It'll be fine!"  
Clay steps forward with his hand out to take it and he's suddenly aware of her scream and a cry followed by a loud splash in the water. He watches helpless as she slips off the edge of wet wooden jetty and falls into the cold dark blackness.

"Oh SHIT!" Clay is frozen to the spot for a moment with his hand still outstretched. His mouth opens and he screams her name "ANN MARIE!"

He hears her scream and cry out again but then she disappears under the surface of the calm still water.

"Oh My God!" A controlled panic of movement and actions takes over him like a second nature as he strips off his T-shirt and dives in after her.

She was right the water is absolutely freezing, even Clay is struggling trying desperately not to gasp as the ice cool hits his lungs. It the involuntary gasping for the first few minutes that can drown you, but with the severity of the cold it's nearly impossible not to experience the shock on your body as he swims around trying to find her.

"ANN MARIE!"  
For a moment he really thinks all is lost and he won't get to her in time then as he turns for a second time he sees the bright blonde of her hair in the black of the water.  
His strength means he's able to cover the water and pull her to the surface in minutes holding her head above the surface he drags her backwards, gagging and choking towards the bank.  
Pulling her cold limp body up the slick mud of the shore. He checks as she coughs and lets out a heavy breath, her teeth clattering together with cold.  
He scoops her up in his arms and hurries back the cabin.

Stripping her wet dress from her body then undoing her bra he helps her remove her wet underwear as she shivers uncontrollabl . Taking the nearest throw from the couch he wraps her in it, rubbing at her arms and back vigorously, frantically trying to warm her up.  
She starts breathing fast and deep inter spaced with panicked sobs, as she lean her head on to his taut, cold, chest.

"You 're okay .. I've got you, just stay calm!" he continues to rub, trying desperately to keep her warm.

Unbothered that his own body which is tight and taut and covered in goose bumps of cold which she can feel as she puts her hand on the pert nipple on his chest "You're so cold too!"

He looks at her "Don't worry about me I'm fine. We need to get you warm, then get you to a doctor!"

"Doctor? I'm fine, just cold" She frowns

"No, we need to check everything's okay with the baby!"

She watches him taking his cheek in her hand. She reaches up planting a kiss on his lips. He runs his hand through her wet hair and kisses her back wrapping his arms around her as they both shudder with cold.

"Give me your phone I'm going to find the nearest doctor"

She shakes her head "I can't I.. I d-dropped it in the w-water!"

"What? …Yeah.. okay don't worry! We'll err mm…We'll take the car... go into that small town we passed on the way up here! I'll get the keys while you get some clothes on"

She nods her head "They're …in my dress pocket"

"What?"

"The car keys ..d-dress pocket, I t-think. Oh god...I hope they haven't f-fallen in the water" she cries "We won't find them now!"

He picks the wet dress up from the floor and searches the two small pockets in the side "Oh…God! ...No keys! Why were they in your pocket?" His tone is annoyed showing his frustration and cold!

"I took something out of the car and slide them in my pocket earlier…I'm sorry!"

"Oh shit!" he rubs his head wondering what to do.

Rushing back outside and down the wooden jetty, frantically searching everywhere. He lets out along resigned sigh as he puts his hands on his head thinking.  
Standing on the wooden edge of the walkway and peers into the deep dark water he knows without any gear he stands little chance of finding them but what can he do? He has to try they need a way out of here and there's no way he can hike a pregnant Ann Marie that far back to town.

He takes a breath and plunges back into the dark and cold water. Knowing what to expect this time the shock is not so intense and he swims deep down to the bottom of the lake hoping he's near to where she fell. Sifting his hands in the mud below the water, he desperately dives again and again until he's too cold to continue in the freezing water.

She's standing at the end of the jetty walk  
"CLAY! STOP!" She's cold but also angry now "I told you .. they dropped in the water. You won't find them!"

He swims to the edge hauling himself up the wooden frame. the cold has sapped most of his energy and he lays on the decking while he recovers. In his head he knew he had no chance of finding them but through frustration of needing to do something, he had to try.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she screams at him. "You're so _STUPID!_ .. I told you, you won't find them! You could have killed yourself out there!"

"Alright, just calm down! .. It's not going to do the baby any good you getting upset like this" He can see somethings not right. "We need to get you a doctor!"

"I don't _need _a doctor… I told you that!"

"But we need to make sure the baby's okay"

"Is that all your worried about .. _the baby_?.. Do you even want me.. or just this stupid baby?"

"What?" her words cut like a knife he knows she's upset but there's no need for her talk like this "No, of course I want you! .. Come on let's get you inside… we're both freezing out here!"

Clay can feel his muscles tensing up with cramp from the cold, even being a frogman getting in water that cold for that length of time he knows is dangerous and even though he's trained for it normally he would have his equipment.  
His body starts to shudder. "Ann Marie please .. I need to get dry can we just get inside .. we'll talk"

"Clay …. I need to tell you something" She looks at him her eyes welling with tears "Something happened while you were away .. and you're gonna hate me! You won't want to be with me anymore"

"Hey…. " he stands up wrapping his arms around her "…don't be silly. Come on let's go inside, I'm freezing now.. I need to get these wet jeans off!"

Clay's so cold now it actually feels painful. She can see by the raised goose bumps all over his skin and the way his nipples protrude from his chest muscles. She touches him with her delicate fingertips as he make light involuntary shudders. " Please…..lets go inside to talk"

She shakes her head "No! … You listen to me _now_!"

He closes his eyes it's taking all his concentration as the cramp pain in his leg hurts. "_Aahhhh!_...Please lets get inside first!" he walks past her to head to the cabin

She turns her eyes follow him but she doesn't move and then she just blurts it out behind him "There is no baby!"

He stops where he is. It doesn't register for a moment unsure if he heard her or if it was some side effect of the cold water.  
He turns looking at her just stood there " I don't understand?" He stares trying to make some sense.

He's cold, confused and feels like he had something ripped away from him unable to put it into did she just say?  
"What do you mean no baby… but I thought?" since the moment he got back and she told him they were keeping the baby he'd been on cloud nine now in one sentence his world starts to collapse and as it does the deep chill in his body consumes him.

Seeing the hurt in his eyes as she stares watching his body tremble "I lost it" she takes breath to gather herself to tell her lie "While you were away.. You weren't here for me Clay…"she starts to cry " it was horrible. I needed you and you weren't here! Is that how it's going to be?"

"Oh my god!" he's stunned and shocked he doesn't have words to answer her "Why didn't you say anything before we left? .. Ann Marie, are you okay? I mean is everything alright with you?"

"I didn't say anything because I wanted to be with you. I wanted this time alone…. just us and knew without a baby you wouldn't come. Because you would have blamed me."

"I wouldn't have blamed you... it not your fault! ...Of course I want to be with you. Ann Marie…" he swallows hard the words are there but can he say them "….. I love you!"

Despite his body willing him back to the warmth of the cabin he's back wrapping himself around her at the end of the Jetty. Her blue eyes searching his face "I wanted to come away... I want to make another baby .. but it isn't going to happen is it?"

"You want another baby?" though he'd adjusted his head to wanting this baby with all his heart for some reason the idea of making another takes him aback.

"Yes! You know… I didn't want your baby at the start...but after you were away, I thought about it and I do I want a baby" she takes a breath

He brushes her hair back, pulling the throw he put round her nakedness tighter to keep her warm. He knows how cold he is, so the last thing he wants if for her to feel like this.

"Please… lets go inside. You're cold and I'm freezing. We can talk about this better when we're warm!"

"You 're gonna leave me aren't you?"

He closes his eyes to the creeping pain of cold which is now like a burning sensation in his arms he needs to get her to move because part of him is scared to leave her.  
Part of him worried that if he turns and leaves her she might do something stupid that he's not sure if she went in the water again if he could get her out so despite the pain she's inflicting on him he will bear it and he walks back to her putting his hands through her semi wet hair brushing it back  
"No! No, I'm not going to leave you but I _do_ need to get dry. I'm freezing …I _need_ to get warm" he holds his leg as she frowns "I've got cramp in my leg and it h-hurts" his body is shivering more violently now and his words harder to speak.

"You don't want to listen to me?"

He sighs exhausted by her "It's not that!...Please… " he holds his breath the cold is creeping into every part of him now and he rubs his bare arms and chest trying to warm himself but she looks so pitiful with her sad eyes and straggly damp hair so he can't walk away and so he tries to lead her to walk back slowly. Closing his eyes trying to bear the cold pain he now feels aching his bones its like a slow aching torture of sorts.

Once inside he strips off his wet jeans and dries himself and takes the other spare cover around his shoulders

She smiles looking at him standing there naked then drops her own blanket on the floor, pushing her still naked flesh against him. He wraps the large blanket throw around them both.  
"You are feel cold!" she runs her light touch over his lightly goose bumped skin and over his chest which is tense and taut now.

"I'm better now!" he kisses her "Don't worry I'll be okay .. You wanna talk about it... what happened, I mean?"

She shakes her head "No!" she runs her hands over his skin "No more words" she reaches up and crashes her lips into his. The passion behind it takes him by surprise but it's nice, she's soft and warm and her need for him is obvious "I want a baby, Clay!" she puts her hand on his groin.

_Oh she feels so warm_.  
He closes his eyes to her touch his head swimming with a million emotions. He's still cold deep inside but fired up as her hand strokes and massages his flesh.  
Confused saddened and still not understanding about the baby loss but he puts that all to one side as his natural male instincts take over and he relaxes to the touches she makes on his body. How can he have so many emotions swirling at once?

Nature takes over and the next thing she's lying her back on the floor and his hands are all over her. He softly touching the curves that he loves, pushing himself in deep inside her warmth to show her that love. He still has a cramp in his leg but bears it as his sexual excitement takes over.

"Give me a baby!" she smiles

He brushes her hair away from her face he sighs still unsure and confused but that's not going to stop him right now  
"You know ….you probably won't get pregnant straightaway not so soon after… I don't think it works like that .. we may need some time .. but that's good… we don't need to rush this"  
He's confused but oh how he wants her. He sighs and kisses her. Deep and soft with his lips over hers "We'll try again .. I promise!" he says it but really he needs time to think, but right now he's only thinking about one thing. Now he's just concentrating on giving them both pleasure.

"Tell me you won't let anyone talk you out of it"

"I won't …. _Ohhhhh!_ God Ann Marie I lover you!..." He looks at her he's close to the edge but he can see the thought swirling in her head. Talking is frustrating stopping him from taking his pleasure but he reassures her. "They won't, we don't have to tell anyone .. not yet" He closes his eyes its hard to hold himself back and he leans in against her. She wraps her legs around his waist as he rocks back deep inside her.

_"Ahhhhh!"_  
He feels a sudden spike in the pain sensation as she digs her nails deep in his back. He's so use to it her hurting him like that now that pain seems to increase his pleasure.

She smiles seeing the effect that it has and does it even more purposefully closing her eyes now to enjoy the moment.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20: You're pathetic! **

They're sat on the floor, her sitting between Clay's legs, as he rests his back against the couch. He shuffles slightly to get comfortable as she'd actually really hurt his back making it sore with her nails. He can feel the puncture like wounds and scratch marks as they rubs where he leans.

He strokes her hair as he she sit here content, her head leaned back against his chest; she's playing with his hand examining his fingers in hers.  
It feels nice as she leans back into the strength of his chest, it makes her feel loved and protected. He pulls the large throw tighter round them, so they don't get cold, shielding both of their naked bodies.

She looks at his hand " Which hand do you use on your gun?"

"What?" He frowns unsure what she means

"Which hand... When you shoot, which hand is on the trigger? Which finger pulls it? Which one kills?"

"Err mmm..." he points to his right index finger and she feels it softly, squeezing it gently "So this one?...The one, the one with all the power... This is the one you use"

He nods "I guess but .. really you need both hands to ... to hold a weapon especially a high powered one"

She nods "Teach me"

"Teach you...to shoot?"

"Yeah ... I want to know what it's like to shoot someone"

"No.. no" He laughs "I'll teach you to shoot ... a target.. not a person"

"But you do it.. I mean that's what you train for, to kill!"

"No.. well, Yes but.. it's complicated...It's not all about killing people" he sighs

"Makes me feel safe.. knowing you can kill people ...knowing you've got it in you .. Hmm! Yeah I like that!"

Clay wraps his arms tighter around her "I'll never let anyone hurt you ... you know that?"

"Hmm...I guess" she takes a deep sigh "Oh, this is so nice...You know I never want it to end... If I died right now, I'd be happy".

He laughs moving her hair to one side he kisses her neck  
"Well I hope that's not going to happen because I'd like to do ...what we did a bit more ...before we go" he smiles and she watches that beautiful smile of his as she turns around and kneels up between his legs looking at him.  
She smiles watching his eyes, running her fingers through his hair. "I hope I get pregnant while we're here, because this would be perfect! To know the baby was made now, here, while it's all perfect" she smiles still brushing his hair with her fingers.

He's more cautious in his smile "Well... we'll see!.. Ann Marie, don't expect it to happen too fast... your body needs time to heal"

"It'll be fine... I... I just want us to be perfect, a perfect family. I want you to be the Father Ash wasn't and I don't want anything to ruin this .. me and you .. that's all that matters .. right? We don't need anyone else...just us!"  
She kisses his lips then moves to his neck where she nuzzles in softly. Gently biting and sucking his flesh as he smiles.  
He like it the softness of those delicate bites and he starts to respond with low pleasured groans, and she can feel it beneath her. Where she leans on him, her body against his she can feel the awakening sensation in his loin. So she continues that soft gentle biting while he continues stirring beneath her. The more she does it the more reaction she gets.

As she bites again, his hands move on her nakedness and she can defiantly feel and see his desire for her.  
She sits back and look at him watching him "Oh!.. I see someone likes that"

He looks her in the eyes and puts his hands on her breast "Oh my god you're so beautiful" he kisses her lips "I love you so much!"

"Hmm!" she smiles as she takes his hand from her body and holds them both down at his sides on the floor. "Don't touch!"  
She starts kissing his neck again working her small kisses and gentle bites down his shoulder. Now each move she bites a little bit harder and each time he flinches and groans to the touch.

He's so turned on by her now that he keeps lifting his hands trying to move to touch her, and each time she pushes down against his hands pinning them down on the floor "I said don't touch!"  
She smiles and he takes a deep breath as she starts again at the top of his neck kissing and biting. This time the bites are a little harder in touch and a couple of them make him wince.  
Each time he pulls away she starts again at the top of his neck. "Keep still!"

She sits back again watching him feeling his desire for her "You want me?"

He nods. She shakes her head "Not yet!... You have to earn me!"

He closes his eyes as she continues to hold his hands down. Not being able to touch her just makes all his feelings that much more intense.  
"Ahhhh!... FUCK!" he pulls away "What the hell!"

This time she bites hard on his shoulder but she she pushes him back and tries to hold his hands down again and before he can move she bites hard again this time forcing herself over the top of him as she bite into his flesh.

"STOP!"  
He pushes her back examining the bloody bite on his shoulder and chest "What the hell was that for?" he frowns

"I thought you liked it. It seemed to be turning you on!"

"Gently yes .. not like that!... Jesus christ Ann Marie ... that hurt!"

"I'm sorry... Hey baby, don't be angry I .. I didn't mean it!... I thought you liked it?... I thought you wanted me"

He closes his eyes, his hurt and slight annoyed anger that snapped at her are back in control " I just wasn't expecting it... that's all, Sorry I shouldn't have snapped"

"I was just trying to imagine how you deal with pain! .. You know when they torture you!"

"I haven't been tortured" he frowns

"I thought when you're training they torture you?"

"Yeah but... that's different... they don't bite me for one thing!" he laughs rubbing his neck

"Oh, they can hurt you but if I do it then you can't handle it?.. Oh, I see!" she pulls herself up taking the cover with her "I'm gonna get something to eat"

"Ann Marie .. come on don't ... " he sighs as he sits wondering what he did wrong. He looks at the deep bite mark on his chest and he gently rubs it to ease the sore skin around it  
"Aww!... Shit!" he grimaces as he touches it. "Ann Marie ...I'm sorry... I didn't mean to shout! ..Come on, come back! Where are you?"

He finds her sitting in the kitchen crying  
"Oh!" he sighs "Ann Marie, come here... " he wraps his arms around her "It didn't hurt..." he lies "I'm sorry I shouldn't have shouted!...It just caught me off guard. Took me by surprise... you know I was getting turned on I must have been more sensitive" he tries to kiss her but she pulls away

"You're trying to put me off .. You don't want to have sex with me... not now .. you don't want us to have a baby! .. That's why when I mentioned it you got angry"

"No.. no, it just... look.." He shows her the bite "It just hurt...and I just reacted .. I shouldn't have I'm sorry!" he kisses her again "Let me make it up to you...come on come back through!"

She puts her hand on the bite rubbing it gently "Is it sore?"

"No!...No, it's fine.." he smiles "I promise.. it's fine!"

"Let me put something on it .. sit down... I think there's a medical kit in the washroom"

"Ann Marie...No!... Really it's fine .. please" he takes her hand and as he sits on the wooden kitchen chair. She stands between his legs and drops the blanket round her shoulder. He stares at her body, her nakedness the beauty of her just standing there as she straddles herself across his lap, while he sits on the chair holding her to him with his arms.

"So, do you like this?"she kisses his next again gently teasing at the skin this time

He nods "I like ." he kisses her.

"Do you forgive me?"

"I forgive you!" he kisses her again and nuzzles into her neck taking in the delicate scent of her body

"So ... say you're sorry for making me upset!"

Now he stops kissing her neck. He looks confused for a moment, unsure of why he needs to apologise when it was her who hurt him.

"What?...Oh, you're not sorry?" she looks him deep in the eyes "Fine then!" she goes to get off his lap and he holds her back.

"No.. wait! I'm sorry, okay ...if I upset you, then I shouldn't have!"

"You won't do it again?"

"No! .. No, never. I never want to upset you know that... I love you Ann Marie"

"And did I hurt you?"

"No.. no, you didn't hurt me!"

She smiles and kisses him. As she touches his neck with her lips kissing at the bite mark. Her touch is gentle this time but it still makes him flinch. She looks back in his eyes questioning his reaction "What .. you don't want me to?"

"It's fine... No there's no problem!"

She sighs "Good because I'm not finished with you yet!"  
She puts her hand down between his legs gently caressing him as she sits across his lap. Then she moves her hips forward joining their bodies together and crashes her kisses onto his mouth.

"Oh! ...Huhhhhhh... God!" he can feel her warmth as she pushes her body against him, but he also winces as she bites on top of the bite on his neck.  
She bites much harder this time and he closes his eyes to block out the pain. He re focuses all his thoughts concentrating on the pleasure she's giving him between his legs and the harder she bites the harder he pushes himself into her, trying to lose focus on the pain and concentrate only on the pleasure.  
As she surfaces from her wave of pleasure he now has a now deep red mark on his neck, and she smiles "Give me a baby Clay! I want a baby!"

He nods it's involuntary as he can't react any other way. He's confused and the pain on his neck burns deep, but he smiles as she rocks her hips back against him, then the sudden thrust as she comes down hard against his body, causes a sudden release of his energy. Now he's putting his hands to the flesh on her hips to hold her in place, so that he can make deeper thrusts against her, giving himself the pleasure he now wants.

o-o-o-o-o-o

"Hey, you want to make me pancakes?"  
She smiles as he helps pull her up from where she's laying on the wooden kitchen table. Their passion having spilled over from the sitting position on the chair.

"Urrm... yeah sure! .. Just give me a minute to get some clothes"

"Oh!..really?...That's a shame. I was hoping for a naked chef...you know like on the TV?" she smiles

"Really?" he frowns

She nods "mmm hmmm ... a naked chef...What? well there's no one here only us... why do you need your clothes? .. Are you embarrassed?...I want to watch you cook .. look at your body is that wrong?"  
She runs her hands round his back and over the naked curves of his butt staring him deep in the eyes. She smiles this sexy smile and does that thing with her tongue on her lip. He can't resist it as he kisses her lips.

She nods and smiles "Careful .. or we won't be getting any pancakes" she takes the large red apple from the dish on the table "Can you pass me that knife... I'll eat this while I wait for my pancakes"

She does this sexy lip thing again and Clay smiles "Sure... I'll be right back...Just need the bathroom.. you know" he kisses her cheek as he hands her the small black kitchen knife "Careful with that it's sharp "

"Oh I will be!"

Clay pushes the door on the bathroom to shut but doesn't quite close it. He switches on the smaller pull cord light that illuminates the mirror over the sink.

"Ahhhhhh!" he grimaces as he examines, the now, five deep bite marks on his body.  
Each one is a round ring of deep teeth imprints with a large red tender circle around.

Each one burns and stings in its own unique way, dependent on how he flexes his body. The one between his shoulder and neck seems the most painful at first touch. He thinks because of where it's located, and she revisited it several times while they made love. The one on his chest stings more, the skin tighter and tauter there. The skin doesn't give so much and so it pulls the whole time.  
He looks at them marking his torso and takes a deep breath in.

_What? Why the hell would you let her do that?_  
His inner self questions the Clay he can see in the mirror. _You're pathetic just tell her to stop for god sake are you a man or what .. if it hurts so much don't let her do it. Tell her no!_

"I did... I did tell her to stop! .. She doesn't mean it... Just she's passionate .. She just gets out of control. She doesn't mean it."

This conversation with his inner self and _pathetic_ Clay in the mirror, continues as he runs the cold water onto the washcloth which he then dabs gently on each mark. The coolness of the wet cloth on his skin easing the burning hurt. The one on his side really hurts now, and he dabs it much more gently.

"Ummm!.. knock knock!"

There's a cough from the doorway that makes him jolt back from his inner self conversation "Errm I'm coming now!"

"Do you have a problem?" she stands naked eating the apple and he watches as she cuts each small slice out of the flesh with the black kitchen knife he gave her.

"No!.. No, I'm good!...Just .."

"Are they sore?" she frowns as she's standing beside him looking at him in the mirror. Looking at the reflection of what she did "I'm sorry... I guess I got carried away" she smiles

"It's fine!... Really they hardly hurt!"

"What not even this one?" she frowns as the one on his side it's deeper and the blood is raised to the surface a lot more. She points with the end of the knife at the scarlet red mark. It looks by the dark deep colour like its bruising up already.

He takes in a breath "No .. no not really!.. A little ...just that one it's a little more tender I guess!"

"So... more tender than this one?"  
She makes her voice in this husky and weirdly sensual tone as she points out his wounds with the knife blade.  
Something about it puts Clay on edge and his body tenses. He smiles "Yeah I guess.. more than that one"

She nods as she lays the knife by the sink, and for some reason he finds himself breathing out a breath he didn't realise he had held. The fear, he didn't realise he had in his head, subsides for a moment, replaced by thoughts of could he get to the knife before her? Why was he thinking those things he didn't know?

She takes the cool washcloth from his hand and starts to dab lightly at each wound. A dab of the cook cloth followed by a warm gentle kiss. Kissing and dabbing he loves the feeling it eases the pain and feels so nice.  
She's standing between him and the sink now, still dabbing each one. So gentle is her touch that he knows she could have never intended to do them. Never intended to hurt him.

"Did I hurt you?" she frowns "Tell me if I did... I won't be angry? I just .. I never want to hurt you... I love you, so, so much!"

"No!.. No, you didn't hurt me ... I love you too!"

"You sure... they look like they hurt!" she kisses at his stomach, so it doesn't hurt when I do this?" She puts her teeth against the sore mark on his side "and this?" she bite and pulls gently at the skin

He closes his eyes "Ann Marie .. don't! ... I'm not..."

"What?...You don't like it?...You don't like me kissing your body ... Why?"

"It's not that .. just maybe it's a little sore you .. we, got a little rough there!"

"You got rough with me?"

"No, I just meant..."

"So, you didn't like it? .. You didn't like having sex with me?...Is that what you're saying!"

"No...no that's not it... I love having sex with you"

"Do you even really love me Clay? ...I mean really love me, more than anything else"

"Yes!...You know I do"

"Then say it ..say you I love you Ann Marie" she kisses his body again "Tell me you love me... that you love me doing this to you, say it!"

She bites a little harder again and he tries not to flinch "I love you!" He closes his eyes trying to make himself say the words while she bites at his skin "I love this .. "

She smiles as she bites again into his flesh "I just want to eat you like that apple" she smiles "_My _little apple" she runs her hands through his hair staring him deep in the eyes then she starts to kiss her way down his body, gently biting and kissing, working her way down.

"Ohhhh!" he lets out a deep sighful groan, putting his hand to the back of her head pulling her in closer as he looks at himself in the mirror.  
Then he closes his eyes he can't look at his reflection. He can't look because he feels ashamed. Ashamed that he can't stop himself from wanting her as she wraps herself around him kissing him taking him deep and he can't resist her doing that. "Oh god!"

His inner self screams at him _You're pathetic for letting her do this Stop her tell her no!_  
Bu he can't because she makes his body feel like fire and because he's afraid.  
Yes, right right now he admits it only to his inner self that he's afraid. That vulnerable like this her doing this he's actually scared of what she could do. He's conscious not to anger her because he really isn't sure what she might be capable of.

_You're scared of her?... You really are pathetic_  
Yes he must admit she frightens him, and he hates himself for being afraid.

He opens his eyes again to look at the scared and pathetic Clay in the mirror. The one he can see with the marks on his body.  
He can also see and the top of her head on his groin as he relaxes into her. Is it wrong he asks himself that he enjoys this?  
But then does he, does he enjoy it? because now his body isn't responding how it should. His ardour and want for her has disappeared and as hard as she tries it won't come back. Every touch she makes it won't respond to her.

She stands up and looks at him "What's the matter baby... don't you don't want me to do that?"

"I... .I don't know!" now he feels ashamed what's wrong with him why can't he respond to his girlfriend "Perhaps we over did it earlier... maybe I need some time to recover... you know... get it back .. I just errm.. Look, I'll make the pancakes!"

She frowns at him "That's a pathetic excuse... I mean I do this for you ... I offer you this .. and you .. you can't keep it up? I mean .. what kind of man are you?.. What man doesn't want this?"

"I know... I'm sorry .. I don't know what's happened" he kisses her "I just need some time; we have done quite a bit this morning ... really it's not you!"

"And how am I supposed to feel? Hmmm do you care?... I mean I feel so humiliated... that I can't get you aroused!... My body doesn't turn you on.. I mean how am I supposed to feel about that?" she shakes her head and storms out.

He puts his head back and sigh a deep unsatisfied and frustrated sigh. Looking at himself standing there with nothing registering between his legs.

He looks around, checking the doorway, and for some reason finds himself sliding the knife she left on the sink into his wash bag. He lets out a long almost relieved sigh.

He returns to the living room to find her wrapped in her robe laying on the couch watching TV. She just glares at him as he heads into the kitchen area "Shall I make those pancakes?"

"Up to you .. If you want!" she shrugs "If you think you can manage that?"

"Baby please .." there's a cutting sting in her words "it'll be fine I just need some time!" Clay sighs he decides to leave her and heads into the kitchen

"Err mmm Clay!" she leans over the back of the couch smiling at him now, doing that thing again with her tongue on her lip "Shorts!" she winks. He frowns unsure what she means as he looks down at the white boxers he put on when he left the bathroom  
"Take the shorts off! ..Remember ...you promised me naked Chef!" She keeps smiling and watching him

"Err mmm...Oh .. yeah sure" he smiles but he feels awkward as he slides his shorts down and steps out of them as she keeps watching and smiling " Oh!...Yes I like that .. that's much better... I Love looking at your body. You don't think you realise how much I love you"

Clay lets out a deep breath. He's never been awkward about his body but right now he feels ashamed and embarrassed and it doesn't help that he feels pathetic for not standing up to her. For not saying No!

" I'll have syrup on my pancakes, please baby!" she turns back to the TV


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21: I'm not in love with you **

"Are we ready to go now? ...Jeez! How long does it take to use the bathroom... Why the hell did we have to bring him anyways?" Sonny sneers at Ash as they open the doors of the truck "and where the hell are Ray and Trent?"

"They're gonna head up there and meet us at a gas station at that small town we saw on the map! And him..." Jason sighs reluctantly ".. yeah well we might need him!...Just don't ask!" He watches the look that Sonny's giving Ash "Look, let's just get there alright ... and the sooner the better! Did you see where it was on the map?"

"Yeah! .. It's about an hour and twenty away.. I don't know why you just don't call the cops to go check on them?"

"Look if she is planning somethin' ... then the last thing we want is her to get spooked... we do this our way...Clay's ours, we should have been there for him... now we need to put this right!"

"Yeah well let's just hope we're not too late!"

Jason glares at Sonny, but he sighs because he's also worried they may end up getting there too late.

Ash sighs about to say something

"No!..No see... you don't get to speak.." Sonny glares at him furrowing his eyes. He hates him "You just sit there ...and don't fuckin' speak to anyone!"

"Sonny, just get in the truck and shut the hell up!" Jason turns to Ash "He's right... I'm letting you come.. doesn't mean I wanna here from you!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Clay's cooking the pancakes as she comes and pours some more wine in her glass  
"You put your pants back on?" she frowns. She stands watching him biting her lip. She has her robe on but it's open and he can see her naked body calling him from underneath it "Are you hiding yourself from me now?" she puts her hand on his waist and runs her hand on the butt of his jeans. He can feel the tautness of her breast rubbing against the bare flesh of his back as she runs her fingers of the curves of it.

"No!...It just...just didn't feel right...I just felt...it was just weird, uncomfortable... I " he shrugs, feeling unsure of why he's justifying putting his pants back on. Why was he doing that his head asks him. _If you want your pants on put them on!You don't have to do what she says_.  
He keeps telling himself over and over but some how it feels wrong, not doing what she asked.

"Sure!..." she smiles "Whatever you want! You know it was just a bit of fun, right?... You want more wine?" she tops his glass up "I should have brought another bottle ...I know this is your favourite!"

"Yeah that would be great but ... .and that wine... it's Ash's favorite not mine!"

"Really! ...Oh, I must have got confused" she frowns concerned by the tone of his comment

"Look, err mmm... can we talk?"

"Sure Baby.. something wrong?" She pours more wine in his glass "Here you go!" she hands him the glass "What did you want to talk about?" sitting herself on the kitchen table she lets her robe fall open and sits her legs just far enough apart he can see her warmth,her womanly-ness, the softness he wanted so desperately but now .. now it makes him nervous, being with her makes nervous, because being with her hurts. _You're pathetic.. you're a SEAL man up! _He gulps the wine down to steady his nervous for what he wants to say  
_She's a woman. You're a strong man. How could you let her do this? Just tell her no! _His inner voice keeps berating him, confusing him but it was right he needed to man up and stop this.

She laughs "Woah!...Steady!" she smiles as she watches him siphon the wine down "Anyone would think you were nervous... Clay you seem a little on edge, are you sure you're okay?...Maybe you're you coming down with something?" She gets off the table and puts her hand to his forehead. "You do feel kind of clammy!"

"I'm fine!" he brushes her away "I'm not coming down with something... I just need you to listen!"

"Mmm .."she takes a sip "...This is nice wine!"

"Err mm yeah!" he puts the pancakes on the plate "So I was thinking ... how about we eat these and... we walk back to that small town ..or I will... so we can use the phone and get a tow truck, get us a ride out of here"  
He drinks more wine looking at her over the edge of the glass looking at her reaction "or...maybe I can see if I can flag down a ride along the main highway, you know just so... so, we can get home! I mean no one even knows here... once I get to a phone I can call Jason, get him to come get us... what do you think?"

"Okay! She frowns and shrugs her shoulders "If that's what you want ..but really is there any rush?...We could wait till tomorrow? I mean have another night together!"

"No, no rush I just figured we may as well get it sorted" he drinks the last of his wine. He can tell from her face that she doesn't consider it a good idea "I think considering everything ...just it maybe it would best if we got out of here!"

"Best, ... best for who?"

He tops up his glass again "Mmmm!.. For us.. Look, I just ...really wanna get back .. I have stuff to sort out, you know work and that!"

"Okay!..If that's what you want?... You do what you think is best?"

He sighs he's unsure of her tone and he continues to drink the wine, the warming effect settles his nerves.

"Mmmm you know, Clay, these pancakes are so nice do you wanna make some more?"

"errm... You want some more?" he frowns " Sure... But did you listen about getting out of here?"

"mm humm! Yeah sure... I said if that's what you want?"  
Her smile drops behind his back and she can feel this rage building inside her. _There's no way we're going back._

He puts the heat on the pan, sploshing it with oil. She's behind him again wrapping her arms around him leaning on his back "Clay, why do you want to go back so soon? ... Did I do something?"

"No!" he chooses his words carefully now "No...I just think it would for the best... no reason"

She watches him "You know you're much better cook than Ash ever was!"

The statement catches him by surprise and for a moment he's not sure how to answer, "Sorry what?"

"Yeah...you know you 're a good cook .. sexy too!" she smiles "Ash wasn't terrible .. just fussy .. I mean he can cook, just not pancakes... no, he was never good at pancakes. I think he only ever cooked them once for me!"

Clay's confused "What are you talking about?" he frowns

She still has her hand round his waist. She takes his hands in hers studying it again  
"Did you say it was this finger?... The one you use?... You know considering what you do ...you have very soft hands. Strong ... " she smiles as she feels his hands in hers. It makes Clay nervous. He rubs his head he's starting to sweat.  
He's not sure if it's her making him nervous of if he drank too much wine, too quickly.

He continues what he's doing but she has this tone to her voice, not one he's heard before but it's adding to the nervous feeling and he's unsure why, and why is she mentioning Ash? Bringing things up about him. Yes now Clay definitely feels uneasy.  
He leans over to get his glass of wine. He rubs his head; he still feels very hot and sweaty now.

"Clay are you okay... you don't look well?"

"No, I'm fine.. I just .. just feel a little hot... I just need a minute"

Clay stares straight ahead he doesn't know what to say. He's unsure what to respond but something about her comments cut at him emotionally deep inside.  
Yes, those words about Ash they stab at his heart. Was she comparing them sexually? He rubs his head he's not sure why, but he doesn't feel right.  
He feels hot and confused "Sorry what.. what are you trying to say?"

As she leans round him still hugging his waist she watches as the pan on the stove's smokes "Clay, the oil!" she points "The oils too hot!"

"What?... Oh yeah Shit!" he looks at the smoking pan in front of them and turns it down.

He's not sure what happens next but somehow in his distraction, the hot sweaty confusion he's in, the nervous apprehensive panic some how in that distracted state the hand she had in hers, the hand she was holding, and studying. It comes into contact with the hot pan

"Arrrrrghhhhh!...SHIT!...Jeez!"  
He's in agony his hand is burnt. He lashes out pushing her away from for him to get to the cold water at the sink. He stands holding it under the cool water wondering what happened. The water is cold but he's getting hotter and hotter, he can feel the sweat running on his forehead now. His head spins the room is starting to move like being on a ship. His vision clouding over.

"Oh my god! Clay... Are you alright?"

He staggers at the sink, finding it hard to keep his balance. He's still running the cold water, but as he checks his red burnt hand it's starting to blister. A vision keeps coming in his head of her pushing his hand in the pan. _  
No that didn't happen, you're confused, it's the pain from the burn or the wine? No, no she didn't do that ?_

She touches his arm "Baby .. what happened?... I mean .. did you not see the pan was hot?"

"Get the hell away from me!" he tries to push her away, but he can't his body's not working properly. His arms are not responding all he can do is stand leaned against the countertop  
"You did this! .. you.." he's confused he doesn't know what's happened, his head is blurring "What did ...you.. do?" his words slur

"Me!?.. Clay .. let me look at your hand.. we need to look at it! ...Clay sit down you don't look well!"

Clay feels dizzy the room starts to spin round and round and he's not sure if it's some kind of shock from the burn  
"No! ... I need to get out of here... somethings not right!" he staggers from the counter to the table. Trying to shake off the blurred feeling in his head.

She stands and drinks her wine watching him falter "Clay sit down before you fall down!" her tone has authority but no feeling.

"What's going on ...I ...I can't... I can't focus!"

"Yeah ...that'll be the fentanyl..." she smiles "...tends to have those effects if you're not careful with the dosage"

"What?!"...his breathing labors and he feels like he might pass out.

"I told you.." she pulls out the chair "... Sit down!"

He does what she says mainly because his legs are shaking, and he can't hold his weight and the sweat pouring off his forehead makes him feel like he might pass out or be sick.

"You know no one treats me like this Clay .. you .. you turning me down and wanting to go back .. why? Weren't you happy? Did you think you could just leave me?"

"I .. I don't understand... What did you do?" His muscles ache, his arms won't move properly, and he feels like he walking underwater. He struggles with is words "Did you give me something?"

"Must be the wine! .. I told you not to drink it so fast!" she drinks from hers watching him sway in the seat "You know me and you Clay... it's just not working!"

"What .. I don't... get it... I thought.. you loved me" his head keeps listing forwards his eyes heavy.

"You thought...thought I loved you?" she smiles "No...no I'm not in love with you!" she sighs this huge resigned sigh "Why couldn't you just be more like him.. more like your father...You know he's the real man...but you...you're pathetic. Oh, the sex was good .. but now you can't even do that.. so, what use are you? Just pathetic... you know that!"

"Do you love him?"

She laughs "Who Ash?" She bends down in front of Clay and smiles. He can't move now slumped in the chair; his body feels paralyzed "Yeah... Yeah I loved Ash... he was special .. he was my real first love... but look what he did he took it all and destroyed it .. so, he had to pay!"

It's like a knife in Clay's heart hearing her say these words. Comparing them telling him she loved Ash, his father "I don't understand .. why would.."

"Shhhh!" she runs her hand through his hair "Just give in to it .. don't fight it!... Awww.. did you love me? Clay that's so sweet!"

"If you love Ash..." He struggles for words he struggles for breath, he struggles to stay awake "he... he wouldn't want... you doing this ... if you love him .. he won't want you doing this to me!"

"Why .. because your his son?.. Because you think Ash cares about you?" She laughs "Awww no! No, Ash doesn't care about you... if he cared he wouldn't have slept with me while you were away!"

"What?!" Clay can't keep his eyes open now his head keep drooping forward

"When I found out I wasn't pregnant .. he comforted me and then he took me to bed!" She sighs and sits down in the floor next the chair.  
She sits there for minutes just thinking "Did you know we were going to have a baby.. Ash and me .." she looks into her glass at the last of the wine then she drinks it "but he didn't want it.." she sniffs, shaking her head in despair "... not like you ... and he made me get rid of it... _It's for the best Ann Marie .. Now's not the right time._..." she laughs "So I did and then... he left me! Told me we couldn't be together anymore... I can't forgive him for that!"

The remaining consciousness that Clay has left now spins in his head. He can't believe what she's saying.  
"Are you doing this deliberately,... to hurt me ... trying to be cruel?" he struggles to breath he can feel his chest pounding and his heart racing.  
Does she know how deep this cuts him emotionally. These things about his father, that his father would sleep with is girlfriend, his pregnant girlfriend. That she would do this to him. While he wasn't here, while he was content thinking they were having a life and a baby, and its now all being ripped away from him.

She stands up and holds his head against her stomach. He can't stop her touching him because his body won't respond it won't do what he's trying to make it  
"I wonder if we'll have a baby now Clay!"

She can feel him trying desperately to resist and she scowls "Don't fight it Clay!... Did you know .. fentanyl increase your heart rate .. pumps your blood quicker.. so, if you cut yourself .. you would bleed out much faster! Did you know that? .. I learnt that from my father.. He has all these medicines, pain killers, drugs for his patients. but the good thing because it's for pain you won't feel it so much" she laughs

She looks round and Clay's body is slumped in the chair his eyes closed and not not responding any more.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Are we nearly there yet?"

"Yeah about 30mics out now .. There's the gas station, where Ray and Trent are gonna meet us .. pull in!"

They pull and look but Ray and Trent are not there yet so they sit in the truck just looking around.  
There's a knotted tension of nerves in all of them. One of impatience and urgency and Jason taps his hand on the wheel. Sonny keeps sighing and Ash is apprehensive as hell.

"Where the hell are they ... Jason sighs "We need to get moving!"

"Jason, we just need to go ...we need to get there!"

"I told you to shut the hell up!" Sonny frowns as turns to the back and glares at Ash "This, this is your fault!" Sonny grinds his teeth it's taking all his effort to control his anger " You know.. if anything.. I mean anything happens to Clay .. well that punch the other day.. that'll be nothing compared to what I'll do to you! .. What she did to you in that bathroom... that won't even come close!... So just shut the fuck up and stay out of my way!"

"Sonny, just relax, we all just wanna keep Clay safe... but he is right" Jason sighs " we do need to get there; cos I have a really bad feeling about this !"


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22: That's better! **

She smiles as she looks at him in the artificial light of the bathroom.

_"Phewwww!"_ she lets out a long weary sigh as she wipes away the moisture of sweat from her brow.  
She stops to rest for a moment, sitting perched on the edge of the tub. She's almost exhausted herself and all she can do is just sit, her hands resting, gripping her thighs as she leans forward to get her breath.  
She smiles as she watches Clay, studying his posture looking at the way he's slumped in the chair.

Dragging his unconscious weight, in a wooden chair, from the kitchen to bathroom, that wasn't an easy feat for a woman her size to achieve.  
She'd had to take several small breaks as she did, regaining a second wind each time.

Being honest, it had now sapped all her energy. Getting him through the doorway of the washroom, there was a moment that she thought she might have to abandon her planned vision but, with determined brute force she managed to do it.

Now she's sat here, her eyes working their way slowly over his body, looking at him in the position she wanted.  
He looks so at peace, okay maybe he did look a little uncomfortable with his unconscious head hanging like a weight straining on his neck, but still he seemed like he was at peace, certainly not fighting against it anymore.

Deep inside that heavy, drooped head, she hoped he was enjoying the peace of the drug and that hopefully he was having pleasant thoughts and maybe a welcome escape from reality.

She knew, herself, the highs and dreams fentanyl could produce. The high could make you contented and euphoric but then after, she admits, the come downs weren't so good.

She did wonder what was the effect of having too much was, as from what she'd been told, physically it could send your body into shock, causing all sorts of issues and even longer term hang ups, but she wondered what it did to your mind inside while you were under? Was it just one bigger rush or was it more of a crazy confused mind babble.

Still Clay's big and strong, what she gave him had to be enough to render him out cold, she couldn't have dealt with him coming around too soon as his physical strength would have easily overpowered her.  
Anyway, being honest, the dosage didn't matter now if nothing else, he'd just never wake up from his high.

As she sat there thinking she began wondering if any of it mattered now.  
What was the point of this effort if Ash hadn't survived. What if he hadn't escaped from her game with him? Then this wouldn't matter because then he'd never know what it felt like to know the pain of losing his child anyway.

She berated herself for perhaps making it too hard for Ash, but she couldn't afford for him to come after her before she was ready.  
Plus, it was important he felt at his weakest, that he needed to feel what it was like with someone else in control over his life. Him unable to do anything about the humiliation of the situation he would find himself in.  
To look at himself in the mirror and see what that humiliation looked like. The feeling staring at him and not being able to get away from it, because that's what he'd done to her.

That day in the restaurant when he humiliated her, and she saw herself in the mirrors on the wall. He called her "_sick and deranged"_ in front of everyone and he got them to call the police. How humiliating that was.  
How they fought when he told her they were over and he grappled with her in an attempt to get her to leave and her dress ripping, exposing her body to everyone, and the pitying looks and sympathetic smiles that hid everyone's laughs. Yes, she'd had to look at herself being humiliated by him and so he needed to know how that felt.

She watches Clay. He's still having a few odd twitches every now and again. His breathing seemed laboured and she runs her hand around his neck, feeling the taut pulled muscles holding the weight of his head as she tries to make him a little more comfortable.  
She holds his face in her hands "Clay?... Clay can you hear me?"  
When there's no response, no reply and no movement she knows for sure that he's out of it now and she smiles "Just enjoy it, baby!"

She takes a deep breath as she sets about removing the rest of his clothes. This is no easy task, given his weight and the way he's slumped in the chair but after a struggle she decides scissors is the only way.  
She cuts slowly and carefully at the fabric, she's enjoying watching him, and she wonders if she was wrong. What if she did love Clay after all? _he was kind, attentive and sexy as hell but.._  
She sighs. But despite all of that he wasn't Ash. He was too different to his father and that's why he didn't satisfy her need.

Finally as she removes the last piece of his pants she slumps back on the floor, the jean fabric by her feet  
"Mmm!...You have a beautiful body Clay!"  
She runs her hand on his leg and up his chest stopping at the bite marks she put on his torso, gently running her fingers round them.  
"I just don't understand why you wanted to leave?...We could have enjoyed ourselves more"

She sits back with a jolt as he takes a sudden unexpected deep breath "Shit! .. _Pheww_!" she smiles "Oh my god!"  
She holds her chest, her heart leapt for a minute thinking he was coming around already. He isn't, it was just his bodies reflexes. He'd probably stopped breathing for a moment and jolted when he restarted.

She got up from where she sat by his feet on the floor. She needed to make sure he was secured soon, just in case he were to regain consciousness.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Okay...that's it!..." Jason throws he cell phone in the front foot well "We're not waiting... Ray's stuck in traffic...we can't afford to wait; we need to go!"

"Thank God for that!" Sonny takes a deep relieved breath. Sitting here waiting he didn't understand Jason's logic. Why were they waiting? There was three of them, three trained SEALS, against one small woman why would they need Ray and Trent?  
Okay so they didn't know the circumstances, what they were walking into and they didn't know what she'd done to Clay but he knew whatever was happening, they would handle it, and anyway he was praying they didn't need Trent, because the thought they needed Trent's skills, well that gave him a chills in his flesh.

Ash sighs in the back of the truck. He's agitated, as a full spectrum of emotions soar through him. Guilt, rage, anger all tinged with embarrassment and humiliation.  
The thought that Sonny was right, that this might be his fault, that once again he'd caused his son hurt in his life, well he hated that feeling.  
But like Sonny he wanted to get there, so he could make it right if that was possible. But could he, could he ever put this right after all he'd slept with his sons girlfriend behind his back and he could lie all he wanted in public, use every excuse about how she coerced him, how she made him _How do you turn a sexy woman, offering you sex, down? _  
But inside, deep inside, he knew in his darkest thoughts he'd slept with her because he wanted to, because he lusted for her, that some unexplainable reason he still loved her.

Because he did love her once, well the version that was kind, that was sweet, that was sexy. It was the dark, vicious, abusive side he didn't love, that was the one he fought to leave.

He admits he got ugly himself and he did things and said things that he wasn't proud of.  
She was right, that day in the restaurant, only two days after he'd finally pressured her into giving up their baby, that there was a point he did set out to humiliate her.  
He wanted power over her the way she'd had power over him, and for a few moments, in front of everyone he had it.  
Perhaps he was responsible by his actions for her downward spiral and that not only did she try to kill him maybe she would harm or even worse kill his son.  
If that was the cost of humiliating her he had to ask had it really been worth it? This was the pain that was eating at him as he sat silent in the back of the truck.

He made regular glances at Sonny sat in the front, chewing the toothpick, that seemed permanently attached to his lip, and he knew that's what Sonny thought, that this was his fault. Any pain Clay was now in was all his fault.

Jason was different Ash knew he blamed him but then not entirely. No Jason shared his pain because in his head he also shared the blame. He blamed himself for not acting sooner, that he didn't do anything about Ash's warnings and that was his fault that Clay might be hurt, or worse.

All they could hope, as Jason starts the engine and drives off, is that they get there before it's too late.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

She pulls at the roll of black duct tape as she binds his hands.  
_Yes, hands first so if he comes around he will be less capable of doing anything .. I must secure his hands first! _

The tape is tight, this type of tape has no stretch it doesn't give and keeps his hand tight to the chair arm. She wraps it round and round and round keeping his wrist flat to the wooden arm and she pulls at it several times to check there's no slack, allowing no room for movement.  
_No that's not going anywhere. _

As she takes his right hand to give it the same treatment, as the now bound left, she looks at the red swelling on the palm. She frowns at the formed blisters along his fingers, turning it over in her hand examining it.  
"That looks sore Clay.. maybe we should bandage it"

She gets up from her knees and goes to the cabinet on the wall and takes some supplies.  
Wiping it gently with the antiseptic, his fingers involuntarily twitch in hers as she strokes them. She wonders if he feels any pain or if the drugs take it away because painful is how it looks.

After she cleanses it with the cotton wool, she takes the wad padding and places it against the worst of the blisters. Then wrapping it round with the crepe bandage, covering all his hand so it like a little neat white mitten.  
She smiles admiring her work it takes her thoughts back to when she was small and she used to play nurse with her father. He would teacher her how to dress wounds, and she would practice on her dolls when she use to sit in his office, where she'd also watch the nurses at his practice dress the scars for her Father patients. Yes, she was proud of her skills with bandages, they were neat and they were clean.

"There!... That's better" she strokes his face then gently kisses his sleeping lips  
Then she places his neatly glove bandaged hand back on the arm of the chair and starts to secure it with the black reel of tape pulling it round and round looping it it over and through the arm of the chair.  
Then she spreads his legs apart taping each one to the legs on the chair.  
When she's finished she places the tape on the side by the sink and looks at herself, looking at Clay, in the mirror.

"You know Clay, I look tired" she takes a deep sigh and runs her hands through her hair. Then admiring herself in the mirror she runs her hand over her stomach.  
Checking herself in the mirror, twisting and turning angle as she pushes her stomach out repeating the same motions. Twisting angle as she holds her frame.  
She smiles. She brushes her hair and re applies her lip gloss from the wash bag on the side then packs up the rest of her toiletries by the sink.  
Taking the small black zip bag with her she puts it in the suitcase, she has laid open, on the bed.

She folds Clay's clothes and lays them beside her case then she smiles as she picks up the small teddy bear on the nightstand, the one Clay bought for the baby, and packs it in the case.

She sighs as she goes to the kitchen. Then she changes as a rage a huge rage comes over her. It's so bad she can't stop it and she pushes all the plates off the countertop. Everything she pulls everything out of everywhere and just smashes it on the floor. Then she stands in the calm of her wrath; she's sweating trying to compose herself.  
She smiles looking at the overturned knife block lying on the floor as she bends down and starts picking them up and putting them back in their correct slots before standing the whole block back neatly on the countertop.

Now she's back in the doorway of the bathroom staring at a motionless Clay. He looks so peaceful and innocent but so vulnerable sat there naked and bound.  
She feels his pulse on his neck. His heart rate is still racing. It's the drugs, they cause it. She wonders if she gave him too much, but to be honest, right now, she doesn't care.

"I'm so sorry Clay .. this has to be." She sighs " I can't not do this now. I wish it could be different" she kisses his lips then with a swift, unthinking, swoosh of the knife blade she makes a cut on the top of his arm.  
The thick red blood takes but only a glancing second, before it starts to run down the length of his arm, dripping slowly on to the floor.  
She intended to do the same on the other arm but something about seeing the blood flow brings a rush to her head and a panic engulfs her body.  
She drops the knife as a sick feeling lurches from her stomach to her throat, and as the bile fills her mouth she rushes to the toilet bowl where she proceeds to throw it up.  
She retches and reaches before flushing the pan and then dropping down on the floor she leans against the cool of the porcelain to compose herself.  
She looks at Clay and giving this head achingly deep frown she watches as the blood starts to pool on the floor by his feet.  
Now she wonders if he will die and if he does how long it will actually take?

She wheels the small packed suitcase outside the cabin. Feeling the breeze of cool evening air on her face she stands, momentarily enjoying it. The head rushing sickness and panic from the bathroom is now gone.

She opens her purse and unzips the small inner concealed pocket and removes the hidden key to the car.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Jason's speeding along, often checking the rear view mirror.  
Sonny's sat forward in his seat, he's feeling so on edge sitting forward some how feels like he's willing the truck along faster.  
Jason frowns at him again, as he removes his gun from the holster to check it for what's a third time.

Ash frowns "You don't really intend to use that, do you?... I mean .. we're not seriously thinking about killing her?"

Sonny chews his gum and looks at Jason

Jason swallows as he looks at Ash in the mirror "We'll do what we need to keep Clay safe...You can hope it doesn't come to that!"

Ash sits back in his seat and takes at deep breath, the reality of what might now happen "Shit!" could they really kill her... the woman he loved once.

Sonny frowns as he watches him in the vanity mirror of the truck visor. He has no issue using it and has every intention of doing what ever is necessary, if it means it will save Clay from harm.

Ash's phone vibrates with a call and Jason and Sonny check him over their shoulders. The number is unrecognized as Ash stares at it, hesitant to answer, afraid of Sonny's wrath if he speaks.

As it continues to buzz it begins to annoy and Sonny looks round "You gonna answer the damn thing?"

"Sure...yeah sure!" he sighs

He hits the screen accepting the call "Hello... Ash Spenser speaking" There's no answer from the caller "Hello.." he can just hear light breathing for a moment. He's about to hang up then a panicked realisation comes over him "Ann Marie?"

Sonny and Jason swing round in their seats watching Ash's face. He swallows hard, apprehensive and scared to dare ask "Ann Marie is that you? ... Please... tell me...is Clay alright?"


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23: Someone help me! Chapter Text

"Ann Marie?" Ash swallows, his breathing slows and he listens to the silence on the end of the line "Hello?...Ann Marie are you there?" He's cautious with a fearful dread in his voice wondering what he'll even say if she answers but he still hears nothing. He looks at his phone screen its blank.  
_She's gone! _  
He looks up, swallowing hard, trying to keep the nervous sick feeling contained inside his body. The last thing he needs is to throw up in Jason's truck. His face drains of all color and emotion as he just sits blankly, looking at his cell phone shaking his head as Jason stares him out from the drivers seat.

The truck isn't moving now. Jason pulled over to the side of the road so they could listen to the call. He looks at Ash staring and searching for answers "Well... what did she say?

"Nothing!..." Ash's emotionless eyes glance up, flicking between Jason, Sonny then back to his phone " ...she didn't answer me!"

"What do you mean nothing?...Then how the hell did you know it was her?"

"I don't know .. ..I mean...I'm just guessing...call it a feeling. But it was her I know it!"

"Shit" Jason furrows his eyebrows, then puts the truck in drive. The wheels spin in the gravel on the side of the road as he pulls away again, at speed. _We've wasted minutes on nothing _

Sonny re-checks his weapon again, it's becoming like a nervous ritual. It reassures him, keeps his mind occupied and gives him a feeling of control over a situation out of his hands.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

_Urrrrghhhh! Mmmmmm! _Clay tries to move his tongue in his mouth to lick his dry lip.  
He can't even tell if he's managed it because not only is his mouth too dry, his tongue feels like it's numb and so exerting any control over it is impossible.

Now to open his eyes. He can't. His eye lids feel locked shut by his lashes, too heavy to lift and as everything becomes a blurred fog they keep rolling back in their sockets.  
The tiny squint he's occasionally able to make only allow for a flash of bright, white light, to pierce his brain like some surgical laser. _  
If only someone would put the light out_! he sighs.

He'd ask someone to turn them off, but ask who? Even in this state he seems acutely aware he's alone. He resigns to the fact that he'll never open his eyes in this brightness, because it causes too much pain for his sore, aching head.  
He has a headache so bad it's like having a crushing strap on his skull, every tiny movement or twitch his body makes and the plate across his temples pulls so tight that he can't think.  
He blanks out again from the effort of being awake and his head lolls to his chest. It feels like his brain just slid from the back to the front of his head.

Eventually as he comes round a second time, he registered the fact he's conscious.  
So does that mean I'm alive?

If he is then it's not a very pleasant type of alive because he can't move and he can't open his eyes, but he thinks he must be alive because now he feels pain. Albeit it's gut-wrenching pains that include a stiffness from the weight of his drooped head pulling and stretching the muscles in his neck and a burning hot pain, tearing at the flesh in his arm.  
He's actually not sure which is the worst and does it matter because he can't do anything about it. But... he is aware he hurts, aches, and can't move_.  
So that must mean I'm alive, right? _

He'd like to think more about the situation but as he does his head swirls with colors and the blurred euphoric fog creeps over his brain then before he can do anything, he slips back into an unconscious dream.  
His eyes shut down, his head lists to the side and his body goes still once again.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Jason fishes in the front footwell for the now ringing phone he dropped earlier. He answers as he drives  
"Trent!... What you got for me?" he takes a breath wondering what he could possibly need to tell him. All he's willing them to do is drive, to get here, to be with them because for some reason for Jason, it will feel better having all of his team with him when they find Clay.

"Yeah... ummm I just thought I'd let you know .. I got the chem results back from the syringe we found in Ash's bathroom"

"Yeah and?"

"Yeah... well, it was Fentanyl!"

"It was what!" Jason frowns " I mean I know what Fentanyl is..." he looks at Sonny whose eyes are staring into the side of his head, not only listening to the call but willing him to drive faster "...but what the hell was she doing with it?"

"Well .. there's several ways she could have got her hands on it .. but the quantity even just what she gave Ash, that's serious dollars... But this is the thing.. it's normally used in a clinical setting . I mean it can be abused... but that's it legit use, ..anyway point is, you mentioned her father was a plastic surgeon so I got in touch with him because I thought that's where she might have had access to it"  
Trent pauses for any reaction but when one doesn't come he continues  
"He's checking his drugs inventory, see if he has any missing... I wanted to know if she had more than the vial we found...Jason that stuff is lethal, even the smallest OD.. can be..."

Trent stops he doesn't want to say it and anyway they all know what he means so everyone's willing him to not say it "and Jace we had a talk... he's concerned about her mental state ... he, err mmm... he told me she has had serious problems in the past... and she did have an abortion ...it was not long after she found her Mom dead!" Trent pauses again and Jason turns, glaring at Ash " .. well anyway I just thought I'd keep you in the loop. So you know what you're dealing with .. I mean if we'd have known this sooner... then..."

"Shit!" Jason runs his hand through his hair as he turns quickly round and stares at Ash again wondering how much he knew about her problems. But he'll deal with Ash later his first priority now is getting to Clay "Alright..." he sighs " so .. how far out are you?"

"We're about 25 mics out now.. . Oh, and we picked up Brock and Cerb .. Brock didn't wanna sit around clicking his heels, waiting"

Jason sighs "Yeah yeah that's fine... Look just tell Ray to hurry ... we'll see you at the cabin!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

It's the second time Clay's aware that he's conscious. Though he has no idea how long it was since the last time. Seconds, minutes, hours, he just has no idea.  
His brain has been in some sort of euphoric hell but it's now urging him to move, but as hard as he tries, as hard as he concentrates, his limbs won't do as instructed.

The feeling of his body not working panics him. His eye lids flicker involuntarily, which only serves to let in the blinding light from the bathroom.  
But slowly the constant flickering stops, and he can open his eyes in a more controlled way.

Slowly at first, just squinting, building it up, letting in more and more light until he can finally fully open his eyes.  
His pupils start to adjust, they are like wide fixed black discs that won't dilate and so it takes some time to accept the rooms brightness.

As shapes in the room start to appear in the white lighted room, he can make out the silhouette of a person sitting watching him from the mirror opposite. _  
What?... Hello... is someone there?  
_  
The room is spinning too fast for him to know who he can see and the swirling side to side motion, he's experiencing under his feet, feels like waves under a boat.  
It doesn't stop, he's swaying and the sensation produces a queasy churning feeling in his gut.

He gets a flush of heat and sweat breaks out on his forehead, then this rush fills his throat, as the contents of his stomach rise inside him. He tries hard to swallow, to keep it down and keep it contained.  
Where his mouth that was dry, suddenly now it floods with saliva and this awful feeling he can't stop, comes over him.  
Then there's nothing he can do. The feeling just keeps rising until he can't hold it any longer. Heat sweat turns to cold sweat and as he tries to lift his head it won't stop, and with no control he vomits on the floor in front of him. _Oh god!_

He's not sure if it's the muscle spasms from being sick, or he something wrong in his head, but no sooner has he thrown up than he gets another sudden rush of feeling to his brain. This time it's from his bladder telling it he needs to pee.  
_No! No!...Nooo! _His brain calls out to his body, though no actual words leave his mouth, but he tries desperately to fight this feeling, this is not something he wants to happen, but as his eyes drop down to the floor he notices the yellow liquid running down his leg pooling around his feet.  
He never felt it happen in his body, only his head trying to tell it not to.  
_NO!. Please, NO! _Why can't he control his own body? Why can't he move? Is this is permanent or is he in some sort of nightmarish dream?

The shame of what he's just done is making him cry inside. _What the hell's going on? _  
His heart sinks. _Someone... help me!...Please, somebody help me!_

He closes his eyes again, he needs to regain his focus. He feels so ill and his arm is on fire, but he can neither move or understand what's happening to him.  
With his eyes closed he's lost in his thoughts he tries to convince himself that he's dreaming and if only he'd wake up properly everything would be okay but then again maybe he's not even alive and this is hell.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Hey!...HEY! Jason Stop!...STOP! ...That was her!"

"What?!"

"That car...the silver one that just went past I swear that was Ann Marie!"

"You sure?" Jason frowns as he slows checking his mirrors he can't see anything now the road snakes back down the hill side. His chest tightens and he starts to breath more quickly as he's hit with a sudden rush of adrenaline

"Yeah, yeah! I'm almost positive"

Sonny and Ash turn to look out the back window, checking the now clear road behind.

"Almost positive, ...What do you mean almost?... What the fuck does that mean? Sonny either it was, or it wasn't, which is it?"

"Yeah...Yeah it wuz!" Sonny frowns looking back down the road, replaying the car going past in his head over and over remembering the driver, how she looked_. I'm sure it wuz!_  
He was sure but now a moment of doubt creeps in and that turns to more doubt which makes him feel on edge, but he goes with his gut "Yeah it was!"

Jason pulls up on the side, he sits and just stares out of the windshield. _What now?_

"What do we do now?" the questions more to himself, as Ash and Sonny look at each other  
"SHIT!" he rubs his eyes and head trying to focus, trying to clear his mind while his brain runs all the scenarios.  
_Do they follow her back down the mountain pass or do they carry on forward hoping Clay's still at the cabin? Which is it Jason?_ _Come on focus! _

He's half ready to say they continue forward, that they let her go. But as he lets the car roll forward Sonny frowns questioning him  
"Whoa Jace!... We not gonna go after her?" Sonny's confused "I mean... what if Clay's in that car?"

"Did you see Clay? ...I mean in the car, as she drove past"

"No! .. but ... I mean...I didn't get a good look" Sonny lets out this hopeless sigh "But what if she has him ...what if he's lying on the back seat... or say in the trunk?" he sighs again. "Oh god!... Jace if we let her get away and she saw us... what then?"

"Shiiittt!" Jason's heart races. "Sonny, did you see him?!" he frowns as his voice raises.

"I told you know I'm not sure!"

"So why are you not sure.. hmmm! ... Tell me Sonny, why don't you know!"

"Jace..."

"Shut up!..." he sighs this exhausted sigh "Just shut the hell up and let me think!" He leans forward against the steering wheel resting his forehead on his hands.  
_Oh god! What to do_? _Does we turn around and go after her?... But then what if she doesn't have Clay? That could be wasting precious minutes if he's hurt in the cabin...But what if she does have him ? What if he's in that car?_

He runs the risks variants and plays out each scenario in operation mode in his head. He analysis the situation the same way he would for any other target. Risk versus reward.  
_Work the problem Jason!_  
_Trent and Ray are too far away. The risk that Clay might be in that car does that outweigh him needing help if he's in trouble in the cabin?_  
Jason looks up the road in the direction they were going then back down the road. He lets out a deep sigh his brain's running at one hundred miles an hour, running the numbers on every outcome, even the ones he doesn't want to consider and after all that, his gut says...  
Turn around and go after her.

He gives Sonny and Ash one final look then he puts the truck in drive, swings the steering wheel round and heads back down the way they came.


	24. Chapter 24

** Chapter 24: Is this how I die? **

Clay finally opens his eyes again, he's not sure how long he had them closed but to him it felt like hours. Hours of dreams and calmness, all swirling and filling his head, taking him far away from pain and the light in this bathroom.  
Truth is it's only been five minutes since he last tortured himself by being conscious.

This time he wakes, he feels more coherent, he can move his head a bit more, so he's trying to work out what's causing such an excruciating pain in his arm.

He can look and see the cut better, well not so much the cut, more the thick, bright red of his blood, that's continually leaking and running down the the curve of his bicep. It's forming a small congealed pool on the floor under his chair.  
What every caused it, he doesn't know, what he does know is it hurts.

It hurts so bad, that every time his muscle twitches, every small flinch his body involuntarily makes, it feels like he's being burnt. It's like someone's putting a blow torch to his skin, and as he tries to counter some of that that pain by tensing against the wave, he becomes more aware of the restraints to his wrists.

He pulls at them and flexes his hands, but all that does is make it hurt and gripe, making the blood flow faster and the pain worse. _What the hell's going on!_

Those words formed in his head don't actually come out of his mouth. The only sounds he can properly make are the ones of his raspy breathing, and he isn't able to swallow properly, in fact, it's a struggle for him to breath at all.  
His throat muscles feel tight and swollen, so much that he's having to force the air out and if this continues he wonders if he might stop breathing altogether and actually die. _  
Perhaps it's just panic?_ ... _So, don't panic Clay, Just stay calm!_

His eyes dart around the room as he hears a voice, and looking at the reflection in the mirror he wonders if it's that person who's talking to him, the person he's now answering.  
_Okay you're right, I need to stay calm!_

He looks, staring at the sweaty, tired person, he can see staring at him _  
Who are you_?..._.I need help.._.. _can you help me? _He wants to cry out but he can't so he just stares, trying to get some idea of what's going on. _Oh God!.. Why do I feel so out of it?_

The person in the mirror is taped to a chair, he can see it, it's clear as day. So if he can make that guy out why can't he see or feel his own body?

"Help me please!"This time the husky, dry words are forced from his throat, but the effort it takes for just those few words, it's too much and he's exhausted.  
Again he tries to flex against the black bindings on his wrists, mirroring those of the person sitting opposite him.  
When the reflection moves, Clay moves, and it seems like their bodies are in sync.

Now mustering every scrap of energy he has, he forces against the tape that's securing him, but nothing, nothing moves, and his arms and feet are still just as secure as before, only difference is now they just hurt more. _That was dumb Clay!  
_  
Everything in his body hurts so much, and where before the feeling was blurred, it was numb, he felt anesthetized to it, now the pain is sharp and clear. He knows it hurts but he knows he has to fight it.

He sighs, while he rests, wondering if there's anyone in the house who can help him. He wants to cry out, but there's no way he can make the sounds come out and if he did they wouldn't be loud enough_. If anyone was here surely they would help me?_

Then a paranoia sets in, it questions his thinking, scrambles his logic_.  
Does anyone actually know I'm here?...How will they ever find me?... How the hell did I get like this?_  
He thinks hard, searching his memory, trying to recall exactly what happened. Then this silent panic engulfs him, making his throat tighten even more. _What if no one finds me?_

In this drug fuelled, wasted panic that's clouding his head, his own mind starts playing games with him. His brain tries to trick and tease him.  
You'll die here!... Here in this chair. Tied up like this! ... This is how they'll find you, because no one, no one is coming to help you!

He panics more and more, thrusting and thrashing at the restraints. Breathing so hard he thinks his heart might actually burst from his chest. _I have to get out of here!  
_Then something deep inside him, takes over. He doesn't know if maybe it's his training or just a primitive survival instinct and he can see the person in the mirror, they're willing him on, encouraging him to fight this.

His mind is fighting but it's his body that's stuck, unable to free itself, unable to move, secured tightly to this chair. _I have to get out of here, I have to free myself!_

He feels broken. He's tired and he's not in control, but his inner self, the man in the mirror, he's strong, he's fit, his muscles don't hurt, he has strength and he's willing Clay to get free.  
_Come on Clay you can do this, fight it!_

_No, I can't .. I can't do this .. I'm sorry I can't! _He hurts so much that all he feels is that he wants to close his eyes and never wake up.

His head droops again, his eyes blur and he feels sick, but some where in the blurry haze he looks at his hand, the blood covering his arm makes him question _What's that?  
_  
He frowns trying to work out why his hand is bandaged, why he's wearing a white glove dressing on his hand. _What the hell? What happened to my hand? Oh god!...My hand!  
_His breathing gets rapid as he pulls at the tape wrist restraint  
_NO! ...No, not my hand!_

He knows a bandage means something has happened_, _that something's not good. His forehead runs with sweat, his throat tightens and the remaining contents of his stomach start to gurgle.

He has a flashback. Hot. Heat. Burning flesh smell. The hot frying pan, the searing heat, the pain in his fingers and then the cool of the cold water easing the sensation. Then his legs buckled, they gave out, then all there was, was a swirl of contented nothing. _Noooo! Oh my god!... NO!  
_  
The Panic now takes total control. Panic about his hand and what's happened to it.  
_Breathe Clay, just breathe_!  
Weirdly all this fear and panic it starts to bring him round, making everything clearer, like it's cleansing his body of the drugs. He can't stop panting, struggling for breath but things are becoming clearer.

_My weapon, how am I going to hold my weapon? My job!... My fingers .. oh god are they okay? BRAVO! _His head drops to his chest and actual tears, real wet tears of desperation run down his cheek.

His Inner self shouts at him, taking control of the conversation, while he just stares at the man in the mirror  
_Clay! .. Hey Clay, I'm talking to you! ... Calm down!...Just breathe, if you're going to get out of here you need to calm down! _

His heart's racing, he can almost feel the beats thumping in his chest and the pain in the top of his arm, yeah that hurts so bad_.  
Yeah okay!... Okay! Yes...calm, I can do that!_

Now he's having a full-on conversation with his inner self, the strong, calm Clay in the mirror.  
_ Clay.._ Y_ou're gonna bleed out if you don't do something, so you need to get yourself together. You need to do something and do it NOW!_

_I know but I ... I can't! I just can't...  
_His head droops he sobs, a deep chest aching sob._ Is this how it ends... Is this how I die?_

The body pains swamp him, the drug fog envelopes his brain and then there's peace and there's calm. He smiles as he lets go to the nice pain free feeling. _Oh god this is nice!  
_  
He could so easily give in to this as he lets out a deep relaxed sigh. His throat loosens, he breathes calmly and he closes his eyes. Now all he wonders is_ Should I ever bother to try opening them again?_

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Jason picks up his phone to call Trent back. He's driving much too fast really for the road but no one is complaining as they speed down the winding hill. Sonny just willing him on to catch her. He's braced himself, wedging in position between front seat and the dash, in ready position to leave the vehicle the minute it comes to a slow.

"Trent!... How far out are you?...There's a change of plan... we're going after Ann Marie... we think they might have left the cabin!"

"About 20 mics from the rendezvous point!"

"Okay! ... she's driving a silver Tesla...Just tell Ray to keep coming ... If she hasn't got him when we stop her... we'll need to head back to the cabin!"

"JACE!" Sonny braces himself " STOP!"

As the truck clears the brow of the hill, on the second-long bend heading down, they see it.

Well it's the smell that hits them first. The acrid smell of smoke and petrol fumes in the cool of the night and there, silent, in their headlights, is a pile of mangled metal where the two vehicles collided. Black smoke escaping from the hood is the only movement they can make out.

There's a horn sound, so loud, echoing hauntingly through the darkness of the forest, it just doesn't stop.

_"SHIIITT!"_ Jason slams on the brakes as they get closer, but Sonny's already out of the vehicle. His door open and he's running before Jason even comes to a stop.  
"No!" he runs down the hill towards the burning metal pile. "No!... Clay!" he shouts through this deep breathes

He's at the first car, Ann Marie's car. Pulling at the car door. Now he doesn't know why because the interior is empty "Oh Shit!" his head takes over from his heart and he pops the trunk.

Ash is standing staring, just watching the black fumes sailing into the night sky, while Jason's at the window of the second vehicle trying to get the crushed door open.  
The driver's slumped on the wheel. Laying on the horn. Jason pushes him back stopping the noise as he checks for a pulse .  
"Nothing!"  
The body is still warm, so he checks again ,checking for any signs of life. "No, nothing!"  
He can see dark red blood from the drivers nose and a big gash on his forehead. "He's dead!"  
He leans him back and now the darkness falls silent. There's nothing only a hiss of the car engines cooling.

Sonny's in the trunk "No!... Oh God! Shit!" He rubs his head as he stares at the small black wheeled suitcase. It's the only thing greeting him from the trunk. His head had run all sorts of visions of Clay's blonde mop and his cute little smile greeting him when he popped that lid  
" No! ...Oh god no! Clay where are you!...SHIT!" he slams the trunk lid down as he spins on his heels _Where'd she go?_

Now he's searching, his eyes straining in the darkness of the woods and the grass verges, his rage focusing for his target  
"CLAY!" he screams out. Then he listens to the silence for anything, a noise, a rustle, a sign of hope "CLAY!... WHERE ARE YOU?!"

He closes his eyes "Oh shit!" He feels sick to the stomach as he sits himself at the edge of the road his hands on his head _Did they really waste time coming back for nothing?_ He was so sure they'd find Clay in that car. _Was I sure or was I just hoping?_

"Anything?" Jason looks at him he can see him not moving just sitting head in hands "Sonny, come on focus!.. You got anything?"

"He's not here..." He sighs "Oh god...he's not here!"

"Okay, come on pull it together!"  
Jason swivels round, his eyes searching the darkness. He takes a breath while he works out his moves now.  
"If she's on foot and she's got Clay with her ... that means he's moving... so that means he's fairly okay ... cos there's no way _she's_ carrying Clay outta here!"

He checks back up the hill where they came from "If she hasn't killed him then... " he takes a breath the scenarios running his brain ".. then maybe she's not going to ... so... maybe he has a chance. Either way we're not going to find them in the dark with no clue which way they went." he takes a breath  
"So, we go back!.. We go back to the cabin... because if he's not with her, then... " he closes his eyes and swallows hard because he doesn't even want to contemplate the alternatives.

"Arrrrghhhhhhh!" Sonny cries out he's now pacing the road, running his hands through his hair "Oh jeez!...arrrhhh!"

"Sonny! .. Sonny, cool it. .. okay!...We're gonna find him ...we're gonna find him and he's gonna be okay! Trust me... he's is, he's gonna be okay!"  
Jason's not sure he believes his own pep talk but Sonny nods in agreement.

They both swivel their heads round to the sound of a vehicle approaching from the oncoming road. They shade their eyes to the bright headlights trying to make out the vehicle as

Ash flags it down. Stopping it to warn of the accident. "IT'S RAY ...and the others !" he calls back to them

Jason lets out a sigh of relief some how having all his team gives him more confidence . Now they just have to rescue their youngest member to make BRAVO complete.

_Okay Jason make your call! _  
He's back at the scene of the accident with the others at the vehicles. He puts his his hand stroking the dog, somehow the feel of Cerbs fur gives him comfort.

"What the hell happened?" Ray frowns looking at the stress in Jason's face "Hey... you okay brother?"

"Yeah, yeah we're good .. okay here's what we do!" he sighs " Trent you with us ." he indicates to Sonny and Ash.  
"Ray , you call that in..." he points the body of the driver in the other vehicle "...then take Brock and the dog, see if you can track her... she can't of got far this time of night.. rough terrain, woodland she doesn't know ... we're going back and check for Clay!"

Ray nods "Okay, brother"... We'll let you know if we find anything!" he takes his cell from his pocket and calls in the accident.

Sonny's sitting in the grass verge with his hands in his hair. He has this feeling of deep despair "Shiittt!.. Clay, I'm sorry man... God I'm stoopid... so stoopid Sonny!" He screws up his face up trying to hold his tears back.

Ash puts a his hand on his shoulder trying to make peace "Hey, come on, Jason made that call not you... he did what he thought was best!"

Sonny's mad now, and he struggles to hold it in. He's up in Ash's face so that he can see the red anger color, causing Ash to take a step back. " GET ... THE ...HELL ..AWAY from me!"

"Okay!...Look, Sonny calm down, this is no good for anyone ... we just need to get to Clay... we just need to fix this!"

"You telling me to calm down?" he slows his breathing because he knows if he doesn't he might just kill Ash where he stands  
"How the hell can you be calm... when this is your fault!" He jabs his finger into Ash's chest "Did you hear me ... _this_ is _your _fault!" his eyes flick from side to side watching the reaction on Ash's face " And if anything... I mean anything, has happened to Clay .. I'm coming for ya! ... I mean it you better watch your back for the rest of your life... you understand me! Now... you _get_ the _hell_ away from me .. You absolute piece of shit!"

"Sonny come on .. I mean what could I do?...Clay was never gonna listen to me... I mean told Jason... "

Now Sonny loses it an he grabs him, but Jason's there stepping in "Hey!...Hey, Sonny come on!...Just cool it! ... This is not for now!... Come on buddy .. let's back it up!" Sonny and Jason are watching and reading each other "Hey, Sonny... just focus... We need to go!"

Sonny shakes his head as he keeps staring at Ash "What could you do... hmmm?" Sonny laughs "... You serious?...He's your _SON!_... You're supposed to protect him ... You could've stopped this...before it even started ... You knew she had problems.. but still...you didn't do nothin'" Sonny's seething with anger and he grits his teeth while Jason uses his strength to hold him back " and still you let Clay get himself in deep!"

"I'm sorry okay... .. If I'd known she'd do anything like this... but I don't know what you wanted me to do!"

"Well I know the first thing you shouldn't have done...you shouldn't have slept with her" he shakes his head, Ash makes him feel sick "She wuz your son's girlfriend...that he was in _love _with!...And you ... you went behind his back ... what kind of scumbag father does that?"

"Look, she came on to me ...I told her it had to stop.. Come on Sonny, what was I supposed to do?"

That's too much for Sonny, he loses it now pushing Jason away such is his fury "You were supposed to say NO! That's what a good father would have done!"

Ash's face is enough to tip Sonny over the edge and he launches himself, fist ready, grabbing him but Jason stops him, pulling him to the ground. "ENOUGH!...Sonny enough!... We don't have time for this shit!... You need to pull it together .. Look, we're all hurting here but.. you just need to focus ...and we need to go!... We need to find Clay!"

"Jason!"  
Brock calls out from the edge of the woodland, and it re focuses all of their attentions "Cerb's got a scent!" he points in the denser, dark of the overgrown trees.

"Okay!" he sighs letting go of Sonny "You and Ray head after her, we're going back .." he pulls Sonny up from the ground "...back to get Clay!"

"Jace...you know... I'm thinking, if she's left Clay... then...then that's not a good sign...I mean you don't think she's... .. I mean ... "

Jason turns on Sonny grabbing his collar "I don't wanna hear it Sonny!"  
He stares him eye to eye. He doesn't tell him but its the same thoughts running through his own head but he's never saying it out loud.  
"Not a word! ..You hear me...I don't wanna hear that kinda talk...so just shut the fuck up!"

He lets go taking a deep breath "We're gonna find him and he's gonna be okay!... You know it, I know it! .." he looks Sonny deep in the eyes " We have to!" he takes a deep breath in "Because... I don't wanna, even, imagine anything else!"

Jason keeps sucking back the emotion that's now filling his throat "So turn around, ... get in the truck, ... and don't say another word!" he looks at Ash now "That goes for you as well!... We're wasting time ... let's just get the hell out of here!"

Ash, Trent and Sonny climb back into the parked truck closing the doors not saying a word as Jason takes a moment to himself, getting his breath and re-focusing  
"Arrrrghhh!...Jeez!" he sighs as he looks at the star laden sky "Just hold on Clay...we're coming to get ya!"

Sonny closes his eyes, he has that sick, nervous feeling in his stomach again. Jason turns the truck around and putting his foot down on the gas he speeds them away. Back up winding road of the hill, back to the cabin and hopefully, back to Clay.


	25. Chapter 25

**Won't keep you waiting in suspense too much longer next part is nearly ready just need to edit the final bits I know how impatient you all are for his story! ****Lots of emotional feels coming next. I can almost see the one playing out in my head just taking time to get it all down.**

**Thank for reading and comments they really help keep me going! :) Keep readingx**

****Chapter 25: How much longer?****

_Hmmmm!... Mmmmmmm!  
Come on Clay wake up …. Open your eyes! Clay!_

"What?...Who's there?"

_Clay…wake up!_ ..._You can't die here, not like this you need to fight!...Come on Clay, you can do this.  
CLAY FIGHT! For god sake FIGHT! …You're a SEAL… you can't give up without a fight!_

"Shut up!... Just shut up!" he frowns. His eyes flicker and open again, looking round to see who's talking to him.

He still has the same feelings of hurt and exhaustion coursing through body, but now he tries to get loose from the tape that binds him. He twists, turns and pulls trying to free his bondaged wrists from the chair.

"_Arrrggghhh!_... Goddammit!... _Arrrghhhh!_!"  
Frustrated he focuses on the hurt on the top of his arm, looking and checking the deep, blood filled cut. He can see the blood still making its way down his forearm, slower now but every time he flexes it bleeds out more.

His eyes glance upward, now accustomed to the brightness of the light in the small room, he's able to stare directly at the person in the mirror. The person who's staring at him, the person who's willing him to find his strength.  
_Come on Clay!…You can do this! …Get it together!_

His forehead wrinkles with confusion as he now hear's voices he recognises, they're not in his ears but he can hear them in his head.  
He listens hard to the sounds in the room, nothing only silence. As he regresses back into this own head he hears clearly the voices again. Clear and loud _Jason?!  
_  
_Come on Clay! .. Work the problem!... _He listens again as the voice echo's away. No, it wasn't Jason, it was Sonny ….Sonny's voice he can hear  
_Hey Poster Boy… quit whining…this is what you trained for!..You can do this …Come on Clay ...you can't die yet you still owe me twenty bucks!_

_"_What the hell!... Sonny!?" Clay calls out, his voice is cracking but his words are clear "Sonny are you there?...Sonny!...Oh God… HELP ME!" he listens but he gets no reply "No!...wait…. Ray?... Ray is that you?...RAY, are you there?"

A weariness is creeping over his hallucinating mind as he tries to make some sort of sense as to what's happening to him.  
It's so much effort being awake his sense are overloaded. If this is the feeling drugs give you, if this is a high, then there's one thing he he knows that he never wants to experience this again.

He's so disorientated so out of it all takes too much effort to fight, so much so that part of him feels it might be easier just to give up, to close his eyes and just drift into a deep, calm, peaceful sleep.

_Hey Clay, come on man .. you can do this…God gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless…. Find your strength and you can get through this, brother!_

"Ray?" His mind blanks. His heavy eyelids close and he takes one final deep sigh before he relaxes. His breathing gets slower as his chest squeezes tight; he doesn't even fight it. It's so tight now that it squeezes every last drop of air from his lungs until he has no more left and he just stops breathing.

There's a silence in the bathroom. Nothing moves now, except for the dripping of water leaking from the tap and the silent droplets of his blood falling onto the floor, beside the chair.

o-o-o-o-o-o

Jason's concentrating on driving griping the wheels and staring into the abyss of darkness on the uphill winding road.  
Sonny's sat as far forward in his seat as is humanly possible just willing the truck forward. The only way he can calm his nerves is by furiously chewing his toothpick.

Trent's in the back, his anxious vibe has him checking and repacking the supplies in his medical bag over and over _I need to be ready _he repeats silently to himself while his head plans for every medical eventuality that in just a short while be thrust upon him.

And Ash?… Well Ash just sits there, stony silent, not daring to move for fear of reprisals from Sonny, or god forbid, Jason. He's lost in a world of his own thought, to be fair, it's the only place he feels safe right now, and anyway it's not like he'd be able explain how he feels even if anyone actually cared.

"How much longer?" Sonny's anxiety, like some impatient child, asks again. It's probably only minutes since the last time he asked but still he needs to know.  
Jason doesn't flinch at his question; he never moves his eyes from the road. He's just totally focused on getting them there as fast as possible "We should only be about ten mics out now"

"Good!... That's good!" Sonny frowns, staring deep into the dark road ahead, willing them up the hill. He knows they level out soon, and the road will drop down as they get close to where they lake resort is. Then they just have to find the right cabin …. and then find Clay.

The nervous churning in his stomach makes him feel sick and he takes the tooth pick out, replacing it with gum. The hope is the mint flavour will overpower his mouth from the horrid taste of nerves that are playing on his taste buds right now.

Jason hits speaker to answer his phone vibrating in its cradle on the dash "Ray!" they look at each other the same vibe of nervous anticipation hits them all as they hear Ray's voice over the speaker.

"Hey brother… look … err mmm …we haven't managed to find her, but …..the dog tracked a scent to the lake … seems the way it curves round it wasn't that far from the road."  
He pauses and coughs "Jace, we think she went in the water! … It's dark down here brother, and the bank slopes down steep at this point… What I mean is if she was running ….in the dark, in panic… or injured from the wreck ….. the way it slopes... she wouldn't have stood a chance, man!"

Jason frowns while he thinks about what Ray's telling saying "So what you think she's fallen in the lake?" he looks up at Sonny who's watching his face.

"Jace… this water… it's real cold!… We've checked every where we can but….we're limited with equipment and in the dark it's almost impossible. " he lets out a resigned sigh. "Jace I can't see any hope of finding her brother... at least not tonight!"

"Okay!" Jason thinks as he lifts his head looking in the rear-view mirror at Trent sitting in the back "How long? ….I mean in the water … How long will she last?"

Trent frowns and shrugs as Sonny turns and Ash stares at him "I don't know…. If she didn't drown initially …. then" he shrugs again " it depends...depends how strong a swimmer she is …but mountain fed river, that's cold... and in the dark…. I don't know …fifteen minutes …twenty tops…maybe thirty at a hopeful push, depending on what clothing she's wearing …but certainly the cold would get her fast!"

Jason looks at his watch "Ray… give it five more minutes then call it off!...Then get yourselves back up here to the cabin…and Ray, get Blackburn to send a retrieval team, tell him they're looking for a body!"

"Okay brother will do!...Be with you shortly! BRAVO two out!"

Jason sighs as Sonny looks at him "Hey Jace…you really think she coulda drowned?"  
He frowns because the idea of her drowning surprisingly turns Sonny's stomach not because he cares what's happened to her, because he doesn't, and her gone forever seemed something he'd been wishing all the way here.  
No it makes him feel sick because he actually knows how terrifying knowing you're gonna die drowning is. And that's a fate he wishes on no one, not even her.

Jason shrugs. He doesn't answer just puts his foot harder on the gas as the truck lurches forward. Sonny looks around gauging Ash's reaction to the news, but Ash looks away, just staring at the mat on the floor in the back of the truck. He doesn't make a sound not any reaction to it at all.  
His head is trying to make sense of exactly how he feels, torn in every direction. A sad gladness that she could finally be gone from his, and Clay's lives, sad for himself that a woman he cared for, hell loved, could be dead but most of all he's wondering how Clay's going to take the news. How would he feel about her being dead?

He shakes it off, unsure if Trent can read his thoughts, if his face is giving something away but he notices Trent is staring at him.  
Trent's never as forthright as Sonny about letting his feelings be known, but right now, at this moment, Ash knows exactly how Trent feels about him.

Sonny sighs and looks out the window he's not sure how he feels. Is it wrong to wish someone dead, glad they are gone? He looks round from his thoughts as he hears Jason let out a long sigh. And as the road starts to level out they stare into the darkness of the road ahead, just concentrating on getting there, getting to Clay!


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26: calm down if you want to get out of here **

"_Ghuaahhhhhh!_"  
Clay makes an involuntary gasp. Coughing, choking and wheezing as his empty chest now floods with the stale, warm air of the bathroom. As the warmth spreads inside him, the once tight muscles that squeezed the air from his lungs relax, just enough, for him to take another sharp breath.

_Uhhhhhhh! ...Guahhhh! _He coughs continually

_Come on Clay ...you can do this!...Don't give in... not yet! _

"Oh god!... uhhh!"  
He sucks in the oxygen, desperately trying to kick start his body. "Guahhh!"  
Panicked and uncontrolled, it's a suffocating breathing, and it causes his heart to beat so fast that he can feel the vibrations on the outside of his body.

_Clay stay calm ...you need to slow it down!...Steady your breathing!" _  
He watches as the Clay in the mirror breathes with him_ In, out... in... Slow!... You can do this!_

Slowly he gets it back under control and as it calms he sits there reflecting on what just happened. _Did I just die? _He stares at the mirror, just concentrating on breathing _  
"Phewwww!" _He opens his mouth slightly, and with each breath he takes in, he pants slowly out.

"I can do this" he nods watching himself in the mirror "I can do this!" He tells himself over and over. Then he closes his eyes and slumps back on the chair relaxed "_Phewww!"_

He can relax, now that he's breathing calmly and steadily, not choking, drowning and gasping for air like he was doing moments before when his lungs stopped.  
This is proper breathing, his lungs filling with air, his chest rising and falling in a constant slow rhythm.  
"I'm still alive!" he looks in the mirror, the reflection smiling back at him. But now instead of seeing someone else sitting opposite him he can see his own image.  
"Come on,Clay, you need to get out of here!" he nods silently to himself as he sits

"Arrrrrrghhhhh!" He fights. Pulling, twisting and turning the tape bindings. Nothing he does frees his wrists and all he manages to achieve is sore cuts to his flesh. Using every sap of strength he has in his body, he pulls at the tape.  
"Arrrrrrghhhhh!... Come on! ...Arrgggh!" he grinds his teeth, focusing all his willpower as he pulls as hard as he can "Come on... you son of a bitch!"

He grunts and pulls hoping something will just give enough for him to stand a chance.  
"Shit...ohhhhh!...Huh!" he frowns watching himself struggling against the unwanted bonds that hold him but that's when the doubts start to creep back in  
"NO!... Noooo!... No dammit! I'm not dying today... not here, not like this!" he continues to fight against the demons who want him to lie down.

He goes again, pulling first his hands then his feet, each time he pulls to to the point of exhaustion.  
His energy drains and the adrenaline takes over, making his arms erupt into violent shakes.

"Come on Clay focus!" he takes another determined deep breath while he relaxes, regaining his composure. His head aches, throbbing from all the exertion, from the drugs and from the lack of oxygen. _Perhaps it is hopeless_?

He's at the point that he may have to accept his fate now. Giving a last look at himself in the glass, seeing once again his inner self watching him. Staring him eye to eye from the mirror. The strong one telling him _To work the problem. _He drops his head shaking and laughing as hears Jason's voice again.  
Over and over he can hear him repeating _Work the problem Clay!_ Not allowing him to give in.

Now he was determined , if he's going to die then death would have to come for him and it would have to fight to take him.

He takes his time thinking about his situation. Sighing for no reason, while he sits watching as little drops of water fall from the leaking tap into the sink.  
He sighs again, it actually makes him smile thinking about those little droplets, and how much he'd give for some of them in his dry, parched mouth, his tongue sticking to the inside as he has no saliva left to lubricate it.

The wish and desire for that water gets to the point where he can imagine himself putting his tongue to them and he stretches forward trying to reach towards them.

Then he's lurching himself forward in the chair. Again, and again he shuffles forward, straining at the bonds on his arms, pushing his body towards the sink, trying to move the chair. It works, albeit slowly and sideways at first. Then he gets more in control of the movement and inch by half inch the chair moves forward. Tiny little steps as it scraps on the floor but ...it's moving, and despite the effort the fact it's moving spurs him to continue on.

His arms hurt so much and the blood from the deep flesh wound is now covering his arm turning it red in color, but he doesn't care, he needs that water and he's inching towards it.

He stops. He's totally exhausted. He gauges that he must only be three inches from the sink now, but he can't go on he needs to regain some of his strength.  
He lets out a long sigh. The effort required is taking its toll and he can feel burning in his ankles and as he looks down he can see where the tape has made red welds across the skin on his feet which are red raw and starting to bleed. They're so sore and they hurt badly that every movement he was making now has to stop.

As he looks again at his ankles he can see the mess his body has created on the floor He grimaces at the combination of his bodily fluids and it makes his stomach retch.

"Oh god!" he tries to catch his breath, closing his eyes to the bleakness of his situation.

Now he's back in some sort of drug induced dream state, as he imagines himself captured. His Arabic captors tormenting him, holding him, no food or water, bound naked and about to be tortured.  
Yet, some how, this scenario is easier for his head to accept, a preferred image to the reality he's actually in caused by a person he loved , and who he thought loved him. That's a scenario he's trained for, not this!

_"Ana LA A'ref Maza Af'al!_ ... _Ana LA A'ref Maza Af'al!"_ He repeats it over and over _I don't know what to do_! ... _I don't know what to do_!

"Arrrrggghh!"  
He grits his teeth and gives one last push to the basin. Pushing his pain threshold and ignoring the cries from his wounds. They tear and claw with a burning sensation that sears through every fibre of his body "Oh God!..._huuuhhh!_"

Tired and with the sweat from the effort forming beads on his forehead, he stretches out releasing the tension from the muscles in his neck, trying to relax them before he leans reaching his head forward into the sink, which with some adjustments, allows him to lap a little of the water that's dripping into the bowl.  
"Aahhhhh!" he savours the cold wet liquid on his lips. He can't believe how refreshing those few drops taste and it's just what he needs. "Oh God, that feels good!"

Now he's at the counter that holds the basin in place, he's not moving just resting, having used up all his energy reserves "Now what?"  
What exactly has all this effort achieved apart from wetting his lips. Who knows but he doesn't care, he's moved, he had a small amount of water and in his present predicament that all feels like an accomplishment, especially considering he was thinking he was dead only a short time ago.

As he sits there resting his eyes fall on his black wash bag by the sink. He keeps staring at it something about it keeping his attention. The black canvas calling him, but he can't make out what it says. He frowns as he stares at it. Then something registers, something he remembers.

"The apple!... The apple she ate! ... Oh God! .. Yes.. the apple!" His brain is starting to register. "Oh my god!" he nods his head "Yes, the Apple!"

He leans forward, stretching his neck, straining and pulling the muscles. He can feel them burn in the back of his neck as he reaches out, forcing himself forward, ever sinew in his body is focused on reaching that wash bag.

Then he has it, held in a grip, with his mouth on the open zip edge. His teeth holding it as he pulls it forward, hovering it over his lap before he drops it to the floor, watching and searching as the contents spill out.

"There it is!" he smiles "Oh my god!"  
It's the first bit of hope that's come over him since he woke up in this room and as he sees the thing he hide from her ... the thing that scared him at the time when he saw it. The small, black handled, kitchen knife. _The one she had for her apple_!

"Holy shit!" he smiles as he takes a breath, his chest tight from all the exerted effort it's taken just to get this hope, congratulating himself on the fact he remembered it was there. Now he's staring at it, holding his breath as he works on a plan for getting out of here.

"Now what?"  
He looks the mess on the floor, most of it now covered by the red color of his blood. He takes another breath.  
_I gotta do this!_ _It's not like I've got a choice, not if I wanna get out of here._

He gets his foot on the black handle and kicks it to the edge of the room by the wall. Moving it away, as much as is possible, from the vileness on the floor. Then he closes his eyes and rocks the chair pushing slowly from side to side, pushing with is foot until he makes it tip, making the chair and him crash to the ground.

It's a crushing crash, and he lands on his arm "Arrrghhhh!... FUCK! ...Oh god! Fuck that hurts!" he hurts so bad "Arrrggrhhh!...Shit!"  
Laying still in his pain, his eyes screwed shut tight, trying to work through the hurt. He's starting to regret doing that ,as the pain sears through him "Oh God! What the hell! That was stupid Clay!"

He loses all control of his breathing from the pain it pulsing down his arm and through his hand. He hasn't felt this pain since his leg injury then it was out of it and didn't really register. Now he's wishing the drugs weren't wearing off quite so much.

_Clay, calm down!_  
The voice from the mirror is calling him but he can't see them now, not from his position on the floor.

_Clay, focus ... Just calm down... you're nearly there now. Stay calm you can do this!_

It takes all his will and concentration, but he manages to pick the knife in his teeth, luck being on his side the way he fell means he's in a position closer to his wrist.

It's not simple and awkward, and several times he drops the knife and has to start again but eventually stretching he manages to scratches the blade at the tape on his wrist.

It's hard to stay steady and there's more times that he misses the tape, the blade scratching cuts in his flesh.  
"Arrghhhh! Oww!" he cries out every time it happens, but as hard, and painful as it is, he determinedly keeps at it.  
Then finally, just when he doesn't have the strength or pain threshold to continue, the tape starts to give. Just a small tiny tear, but he goes again, and it becomes bigger, than it loosens, and he pulls while he cuts and finally his hand is free.

He sighs as he drops the knife from his mouth and collapses his head against the floor.

He's totally exhausted but he struggles on, mustering the energy to painfully hold the knife in his hand, firstly, freeing his bandaged limb, then clawing his way to a sitting position he releases the tape from his feet  
As the tape breaks on this foot he moves himself away from the chair pushing his back against the wall which he collapses against.  
His body drowns in a flush of heat and sweat with all the energy he's exhorted. He checks the knife slashes on his wrist before wrapping his hand round the heavily bleeding slash on his arm.  
"Arrrrggghhhhh!" he cries out with pain.

There's no way he can find any of the required strength it would take to stand, so all he can do is slump himself in a sitting position, his back leaning against the cool hard tiles of the bathroom wall.

He rests, looking at himself, looking at the room, the chair, the knife and the cut-up tape.

He's broken and exhausted having an emotional meltdown sitting there actually crying. He can't think, he can't focus. Holding his bandaged hand, he draws his knees to his chest in a foetus position. He's not cold but his skin prickles with goose bumps as his Adrenaline surges through his veins causing him to shake all over.

Totally drained of emotion, his body wracked by the pain and his brain still blurring on and off from the drugs. All he can do is sit head resting on his knee's eyes closed, crying, as his body shuts down.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"CLAY!... CLAY!...Where are you?"

Clay lifts his eyes he can't move but he can hear noises again. He puts his hands to his ears trying to shut out his hallucinations.

As he hears the noises again, doors slamming and heavy boots in the corridor. He looks at himself. suddenly conscious of his own body. A bleeding, broken and naked the mess sitting on the bathroom floor. He can't even imagine what the scene looks like.

Then the bathroom door handle rattles and his eyes watch as it turns in a blurred slow motion. Then in the fog of reddened, drug frosted eyes he thinks he can see his father. _Ash?_

"Clay?" seeing him Ash sighs "Oh, thank god.. Son lets..."

Ash stops in his tracks at the door as Clay screams out  
"NO!" he screams again gathering his knees tighter to his chest, sobbing as he screams "NO!... GET the HELL OUT!... Don't come in here!"

Ash stops where he is in the doorway taking in the scene in front of him "Clay.. son!" he gasps at the horror that confronts him unable to move just frozen in the doorway

"I SAID GET OUT! ...GET OUT!. No!..." Clay's screaming "I don't want you here, get out!" he sobs "Please, don't come in here!"

It panics Ash, he's confused and steps back from the doorway to the hallway partially closing the door "Okay.. Clay Clay.. calm down.. please son... let me come in and help. Please, son .. .. it doesn't matter, just let us help you!"

Clay totally loses it now and just cries as he screams "I SAID GET OUT! ...Just GET... AWAY... FROM ME!"


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27****: Let's get you out of here! **

Sonny and Jason are beside Ash at the door to the bathroom.  
Though Sonny's not exactly sure how, Ash was first out of the truck, before Jason even stopped, running towards the cabin. Sonny hot on his heels, as Jason parked and Trent gathered his medical kit.

They watch as he stands there silent, holding the door closed, his hand on the brass door handle. Having not dared go back in since Clay's outburst at him, his head is now processing hundreds of conflicting thoughts, while he tries to decide what he should do versus what he can do!

He can't comprehend the anger in Clay's voice when he told him to get out, and if he was honest, he's taken it as a sort of personal insult, although, considering his own recent experience he knows it probably wasn't personal, just the effect of the drug.

But _why didn't Clay want me in there? _It's a rhetorical question as he knows deep down the answer, W_hy didn't Clay want him to rescue him?_  
And...O_h god what was that smell! _ That weird over-powering, smell of warm trapped warm air that's what hit him the most. It was awful, and it took him back to when she left him in the bathroom at his house. It was a smell you didn't notice after a while, not when you were confined, but as soon as you were hit with fresh air, then that's when it smelt so much worse.  
It was an indescribable scent, one that contained hurt and fear, a hideous smell of being trapped and confined and it brought back all Ash's feeling of being out of control and the humiliation he felt when he was rescued, and perhaps Clay was feeling those very same things, and that's really why he didn't want him going in there.

"What's going on?... He in there!" Jason's beside him, frowning and why Ash is just standing there, why he isn't getting Clay out? The look on Ash's face worries him and he's wondering if that means the worst has happened "Ash is he okay?"

"Yeah... err mmm…. I don't know!…" he swallows the deep knotted feeling in his stomach "…I mean he's alive, yeah, yeah he's alive... he...err mmm... he just won't let me in … just keeps screaming, get out! …. I'm worried!...It's like he's totally lost it!"

Trent pushes the door slightly, only a few inches, and slowly puts his head around, not saying a word, just checking and assessing the situation.

He can see Clay curled into a human ball on the floor _Oh God!_ he sighs and pulls the door to "We need to get him out of there!" There's a sense of urgency about Trent's words and Jason pushes at his hand, but Trent holds the door firm  
"No wait!…We need to get him out but... we need to take this slow. Calm and steady! The way he's acting .. it's a reaction,... a come down of the fentanyl! It's making him paranoid, panicky …. We do this slowly; we make it easier on Clay … last thing we need is to panic him, stress him out … upset his breathing!"

Jason nods heeding Trent's advice. He knows Trent wouldn't be suggesting this unless it was necessary, he's not happy about, it but nevertheless he'll follow Trent's lead.

"Okay come on Sonny help me!" Trent grabs his bag and hurriedly starts to get his kit unpacked. Although he's calm in his actions and words, his head is running medical terms and procedures at speed, remembering all the protocols for the drug. It's not normally something he'd need to deal with, but he made sure he knew what to do and has, hopefully, brought all the things he will need.

Ash looks at them both, he laughs "Wait… are you kidding?... We can't leave him in there, surely? I mean did you see him .. see the blood? "

Trent nods "Yeah .. and like I say we do this carefully . We _do_ what's best for Clay! It's only going to take a minute then we'll have him out!"

Jason grinds his teeth looking at Ash "Trent has the lead … you just stay out of the way…..you're lucky I even let you be here!"  
He looks at Ash's face, questioning his decision, and Jason tries to control the anger he feels. The anger he's been holding ever since they knew Clay was in trouble, and at some point Ash will push it too far and then Jason's afraid of what he might do. So, for now he'll just have to try and contain it, anyway he can.

Sonny's standing silently looking at them both. He swallows trying to drown the anxiety in his throat. "Tell me again… why we're leaving him in there… why we're not getting him out?... Trent .. what the hell?" He watches Trent, rushing from bag to bed taking out all the things in his kit "We need to get him out. Surely it's not best for Clay to leave him in there ..Jeez " he runs his hands through his hair.

Trent puts a calming hand on his shoulder "We will …. thirty seconds, just hurry up give me a hand to get unpacked"

Sonny nods he takes deep breaths somehow Trent's touch reassures him.

Jason chews his gum; he doesn't like waiting either he wants to go in there, bursting the door open and tell Clay to get up and come out, but he won't. He won't, because he trusts his number four to the do the right thing for Clay. So, for now he'll take Trent's advice and take this slow.

Trent, with Sonny's help, is getting his kit laid out ready. He brought kit to cover nearly every eventuality, medical wise, he could imagine Clay being in.

Sonny's watching as he fills the syringe from the vial and puts on the nightstand.  
"What the hell's that for?" he frowns, concerned about giving Clay more drugs. He knew a little about the illegal uses of Fentanyl, from the clubs he frequented, he knew it was potent and wasn't good for the body. He'd seen, and heard about so many people overdosing on it, and here was Trent about to give him more drugs.

"This?..." he can see the concern in Sonny's eyes "...Don't worry… it's Narcan….an antidote, it'll counter the effect of the fentanyl" What he doesn't admit is that he's worried as well. His head re- reading the medical advice for using it, knowing keeping Clay calm and watching his breathing were going to be key to getting this right, because though this was a controlled measure he had no clue how much of the drug or how close to an overdose Clay had come. So, while it was going to help he also knew it could cause complications.

He pulls a bag of blood from his bag and sets up a drip line "Come on Sonny hurry up give me a hand here… by the looks of him he gonna need some fluids" he lays out the bandages and dressing and a sutures kit.

Sonny frowns all this medical stuff for Clay, he didn't like it, but he trusted Trent and that was all he needed to know. That Trent would do everything in Clay's interests to save him and that kept him calm for now.

"Shouldn't we be getting him out now?" Ash questions Trent's judgement "It can't be good waiting like this!"  
"It's only been a couple of minutes …we're nearly ready to go!"

"No!… You know what.. I'm not standing here doing nothing .. he's my son I know what's best for him and leaving him there, .. in that hole, alone, that's not good for him!"

Trent looks at them "You're right …it's not great leaving him in there but .. like I said we need to keep him calm….and you're not helping that!.. We need to be ready for when we do get him out .. the calmer he is the better for his breathing...Look,..." he stares at Jason "I need to keep his breathing right .. because .. " Now Trent hates to admit this mistake "...I haven't got the resus kit, it's still in the trunk of Ray's car .. I forget to take it out when we swapped vehicles down the road... so if he stops breathing... well I haven't got it till Ray gets here!... So we _need_ to keep him calm!"  
He can see everyone's sensitive with a little paranoia right now "He's alright, it's only going to be a few minutes more…..Hell, he yelled at you right!" he looks at Ash " So, that's a good sign!"

Ash stares at him, then at the door "No I'm not listening to this bullshit …I'm not waiting for you!" now he turns his focus on Jason "And who made you God...Hmm? Why do you get to decide what happens with _my_ son!"  
He goes to the door and pushes it "Clay! ..It's your dad.. let me get you out of there, son!"

"NO!...No!..._.Nooo!_... I told you _don't_ ….. _DON'T_ COME IN HERE! I don't want you seeing me like this! ...Get away from me!" Clay puts his hands in his hair in distress.  
In reality, seeing the blood on his arms he knows he needs help, but he just can't imagine letting anyone come in, let alone Ash. He doesn't want anyone to see him in this mess. He's feeling so ashamed. They tried to warn him, Ash warned him about her, and he didn't want to listen! _No! _He can't have them all laughing, saying they told him so, that she was no good for him, and he should have listened. He can't so he just wants to sit here not letting anyone near him.

Sonny grabs Ash and pulls him away and pulls the door back to the three inches open. He slams Ash on to the wall opposite the bathroom "You! … You, stay the hell away!… Did you hear me!"  
Sonny's right up close in Ash's face now "When Trent says we go, we go … not till! …Did you not hear what Jason said?"

"But he's my son, I need to help him!"

Sonny laughs "You gotta be kiddin me right?... You serious…._YOU_ don't get the right to say nothin' now!...Get the hell out of here!" They're nose to nose, neither backing down and Sonny is raging.

"You can't make me leave. He's _MY_ son!...And certainly not his!" he points at Jason

"You think I can't make you leave?... You seriously wanna try me?!" Sonny sighs "Maybe … _you _should have thought about acting more like a father before then .. hmmm?….Don't you think!. …_Now GET…_ the _hell_ away from me, or Clay's not gonna be the only one needing a medic!"

Jason gets between them as he glares at Ash "Back the hell off!… You heard Trent!"

"But Jason.. you didn't see the mess in there... .. He needs help _now _!"

"And he's gonna get it … when Trent's ready! Now get the hell away from the door or me and you,…. we're gonna have even more of a problem than we've already do!"

"But…."

"I don't wanna hear it! … You wanna stay … then you shut the hell up! …Trent, what's the sitrep we ready to go?" Jason looks at his watch, it surprises him, it feels like Trent's taking hours when it's literally only five minutes.

Trent nods "Just about!"

"So, what you wanna do?...Just go in, like a snatch, and bring him out?"

Trent nods "If we're gonna do it that way then let's do it quick, get him to the bed .. I'll give him the Narcan …then when he calms, we'll get that blood and line up! Just remember he still under the effects of that drug so he's likely to say or do things that might not be pleasant .. remember it's not him .. don't take it personally! and let's just _try _and do it as calmly as we can!"

Jason nods.  
Sonny takes a quiet peep round the edge of the door. The pungent smell hits him first, it's definitely not Clay's normal sweet scent of aftershave, it actually makes his stomach heave. _Oh my God!  
_  
Then when he adjusts his senses, the next thing that strikes him is the red of the floor, how much liquid red there is. The chair tipped over and then there in a human ball by the wall "_Clay_!"  
He says it quietly under his breath shocked by the scene he can see! His friend, his brother just a small curled up ball of flesh, cover in blood.

"Oh jeez!" Sonny looks away his eyes well with tears "Clay!... " _What the hell "_ Jace, as much as I don't wanna agree with him" he looks at Ash "We need to get him out of there"  
He looks back around keeping as still and quiet as he can just watching Clay, he has his head tucked between his knees and his chest. He takes a breath and calls softly to him "Clay…..Clay buddy!"  
He says it quietly, his voice cracking with emotions "Brother, you gonna let me come in?…Please Clay, let us help you…let us get you out of there!"

Clay doesn't answer but Sonny can hear him crying, it's a soft quiet cry and he's hiding his head trying to mask the sound but Sonny can hear it  
"Clay, please…. it doesn't matter, just let it go! .. You want me to come get you?... Clay?"

"Go away Sonny! … I don't want you to see me like this…..I don't want anyone to see me like this" he can feel his chest tighten again as his stress levels start to soar. Everything starts to confuse again as the room starts to spin.

"Clay .. please … please just let me come in!"

Ash is at Sonny's elbow and he pushes the door wider "Son! ..Let us help you!" he lurches to step past Sonny but as he does Clay puts his hands on his head and screams again "I told you DON'T COME IN HERE! I don't want you in here!"

That's enough for Sonny to completely lose it with Ash, he felt he was seconds from reaching out and Ash has upset him. He shoves Ash in the chest pushing him back against the wall  
"What the hell did I tell you?... Now get back!"  
He shoves Ash so hard this time that he falls to the floor. Sonny standing over him glaring, focusing all the hurt Clay's going through and blaming it on Ash, but he's so angry he can't even find words to express it so he just kicks him hard in the gut with his boot.

"Woah...Sonny!" Jason pulls him back " Calm down! This isn't doing anyone any good!"

Ash doubles in half with the pain, curling up to protect himself in case any more kicks reign in. He knows why Sonny's so angry and he doesn't blame him, he'd feel the same. He snivels an apology while still trying to hold his own stress and emotions, that have built up in the past few days, inside him.

Selfishly he's wondering why no one cares how he feels, logically he knows why, that they blame him for what's happened, and that he shouldn't have betrayed his son by sleeping with Ann Marie, even if he, still, blames her for that and not himself.  
He has this urge that he just wants to hold his son,be a father to him while he needs someone. But he also realises that he did this, he contributed to this situation so he has no one to blame for the way Sonny's treating him, except himself.

Trent's there now hearing Clay cry out has worried him and the urgency for getting him out just stepped up " Hey can we just keep it down .. keep it stress free…..Sonny you ready?"

Sonny turns around as Jason and Trent are at the door beside him. Jason takes a deep breath "Okay on three, we go in, grab him and bring him straight the bed, Trent can give him the potion and we'll take it from there!…Okay…" he looks at Sonny and Trent ".. on my count of three!"

"Wait I don't know .." Sonny shakes head "I mean he looks a real mess in there…and us going in mob handed like this .. that's gonna freak him out, right?… Come on there's gotta be another way!"

"What the hell are you talking about Sonny you're wasting time now .. just lets get him out! Cruel to be kind we just do it quick…..and clinical."

"Oh man, clinical!...Seriously?!"  
Sonny shakes his head, he's unhappy doing it this way, treating Clay like this "Jace.. that's Clay in there!" Sonny shakes his head again the thoughts of upsetting him by doing it like this weigh heavy on him "No! … No I don't wanna do it like this!" he looks at Trent "There has to be a better way to get him out!"

Jason looks Sonny in the eyes "Look Sonny, I get it... and I don't wanna upset him either … but we have to get him out of there! ...There is no _other_ way .. he's just gonna get more stressed and paranoid ….you heard what Trent said about it being the effects of the drug!"

"I need to give him the Narcan, Sonny!…. And we need to stop the bleeding, we can't waste any more time now!"

"Alright .. wait just give me a minute alright" he rubs his head. He sighs as he speaks. He's going to open up and be honest about his feelings now.  
"Look…. I know how I felt when I was stuck in that tube… he's gonna be feeling alone and little scared right now! He's probably gonna feel a little embarrassed, right…I mean hell last thing he needs is us all weighing in"  
He remembers back to how he laughed at Ash, tied to the chair, the photo he took and now thinking of Clay in the same situation, well it doesn't seem quite so funny "Give me a minute… let me talk to him… Jace, let me try! .. If I can't get him to come out then we do it your way"

Jason nods he takes a breath "Okay .. I'll give you one minute but… we need to get him out! Sonny… times ticking" he looks at Trent for a nod of agreement

"Okay a minute.. I can do this!"  
Sonny grabs the small quilt cover that lays on the end of the bed. He nods at Jason as he opens the bathroom door.  
"Clay!… Clay, it's Sonny again .. you alright buddy?"  
He listens for an answer but just as expects he doesn't get one "Look Clay, I'm gonna put the light out.. so, its gonna go dark .. then no one can see you. Clay you hear me… then I'm gonna come in! … I'm gonna come get you, brother!.. Me and you buddy, we gonna walk out of there"

He looks at the ceiling taking a deep breath while he stops and tries to get the lump of emotion, lodged in his throat, from spilling out .  
There's nothing no sound as they listen there's just calm. Sonny takes another deep breath then reaching inside the door he pulls the light cord.  
The room goes dark apart from the chink of light of the doorway to the hall. He hears Clay take a deep breath as the room goes dark "It's just me Clay, no one else!"

Sonny opens the door slowly, just enough to get his body round. He looks in the direction where Clay is on the floor as his eyes adjust to the dimmed light. "Clay I'm coming in now .. just sit tight little buddy, we have you out of here soon .. you hear me Clay, I'm coming"

He keeps softly talking and calling to him as he carefully and slowly makes his way into the room. Moving the chair on the floor, until he's sat down beside the small bundle of man on the floor, with his back pressed tight against the wall, hugging his knees for protection.

Sonny's shocked by Clay's appearance, he can see the deep wound on his flesh and the bandage on his hand, he frowns wondering _What the hell happened there?_  
But he ignores all of it now, his only focus is getting Clay out. Carefully he wraps the throw from the bed round his hunched bare, shoulders covering all of him over. He wraps it around pulling it tight to his chest.  
The weight of the fabric on his shoulders makes Clay relax, it's a comfort, the quilt on his naked body, covering him and making him feel protected.  
Then Sonny puts his arms around, pulling him close to his own chest "I've got ya buddy .. Sonny's got ya! It's gonna be alright now" He holds back his own tears as Clay starts to sob in his arms "Just let it go Clay .. it's fine!"

Then as Sonny looks at Clay's blonde mop of curls, matted with streaks of blood, his head buried in Sonny's chest, sobbing into him, asking him for help without words, Sonny can't hold back. He's suffocating from the lump of hurt swelling and closing his throat and then the large tears drip down his own cheeks catching in his beard. He sucks in his breath, mustering his strength _Come on Sonny hold it together! _He has to be strong now, he has to be strong for them both as Clay clings to him.  
He wraps his hand around the side of Clay's head holding him tight "Come on Clay, let's get you out of here!"


	28. Chapter 28

** Chapter 28: How's he doing? **

"Let it out Clay...It's alright I got you, man!"  
Sonny takes a deep intake of breath. He looks up registering his relief with Trent in the doorway. Trent nodding in acknowledgement.  
"Hey buddy, you ready to get out of here...cos I don't know about you but it don't smell none too great in here!" Sonny laughs his way of breaking the intensity of the moment and he can hear Clay make a small breathless laugh, as he nods acknowledging Sonny.

He wraps the quilt cover tighter round him. "So, you think you can stand up ...walk _yourself_ out?" He imagines it would be important for Clay to feel in control of this. Walking out on his own two feet, his way of keeping a sense of pride.

Clay nods again as Sonny takes his weight, slowly helping to his feet. It's takes Clay a lot of effort, his adrenaline pumps and makes his legs shake "Sonny, I'm sorry!"  
He sucks in his tears, trying to get a grip on his emotions and for the first time they make eye contact.

"Hey .. Hey now you listen to me...I don't wanna hear it, right! Right!" he holds Clay's face and looks him in the eyes "You!...You have nothin' to be sorry about, understand me ... nothin'!" He's firm but kind "You didn't do this Clay. This is not your fault, none of it!"

Hearing Clay apologise just breaks Sonny's spirit inside, his heart tearing in two for his friend. This is not Clay's fault and Sonny's anger towards Ann Marie, and Ash only intensifies for breaking Clay like this.  
But, for the moment he sets anger to one side, his heart crying for his vulnerable, broken friend. A large watery bead of a tear drips from his eye, as he carefully leads Clay out keeping him, tightly, wrapped in the quilt.

At the door Trent's ready as they both take Clay between them "Hey buddy you alright?" Trent checks his face. Clay manages to nod.

Jason's shocked by his appearance. He tears up inside and he can't actually look at him. He feels awkward, angry and emotional and he looks at Ash in disgust, as he wonders _What went wrong? _and how quickly it all got out control. _Why the hell didn't I see this happening?_

_Fuck!_ ... Jason's angry with himself as leader, he should have taken the situation more seriously, because this wasn't funny, this wasn't a joke and in reality this could have cost Clay his life!  
And all because he thought Clay should _Man up! _And that _No way as a man, let alone a SEAL would a woman be able to ... to ..  
_He can't even think the word, let alone say it. _Abuse!...How the hell can that happen right in front of our eyes? _  
He couldn't forgive himself for not believing, not taking the threat seriously. For god sake if Clay had been Davis or Mandy he would he'd have done something so much sooner. He would have believed them, so why couldn't he believe it happening to one of his own!

Ash moves forward reaching out to his son " Clay..." but Jason turns on him, his strong hand's stopping him, holding him in place against the wall  
"You, you don't move! Understand me! You don't go near him, not, till he says it's okay!"

Jason towers over him giving this _Don't mess with me right now_ look that riles Ash"But he's _my _son! I need to speak to him... to explain..."

"Yeah well... maybe you should've thought about him being _your_ son _before_ you did what you did! Now you back the hell off or we will have a problem!"

As he blinks in the light again trying to get his focus. Overwhelmed as the fresh air hits him and the exhaustion he feels takes its toll causing his strength to let him down, as it rapidly leaves his body.  
Sonny feels it as Clay's legs buckle and his weight drops into Sonny's arms, but before his body can hit the floor Sonny and Trent take him. Sonny has his hands under his arms, as Trent takes his legs, and between them they carry him to the bed, laying him down gently.

"We got you Clay, don't worry, everything's going to be alright! Trent's going to sort you out!" Sonny looks at Trent, he needs the reassuring smile that Trent manages to give.

Trent expression changes as he's switched from friend and team mate, to Medic. Getting a control of his emotions, he starts with the necessary medical interventions "Let's swing him round, get him in the middle of the bed!"

They adjust his position on the bed, as they do they look up and turn around, interrupted by a familiar voice  
"Ray!" Sonny acknowledges his presence with some relief. Someone to share his burden of worries with.

"How's he doing?" Ray frowns seeing Clay laid out on the bed.

"Ray you wanna get that line up?" Trent issues his task before Ray even gets an answer to his question.  
He nods and hurries round the side of the bed and starts pulling at the tubing, connecting the fluid line to it, as Trent buries the cannula needle into Clay's vein, then pulling some white stretch tape cutting it with his teeth, taping it in place.

Ray holds the bag above his shoulder "Ready?" Trent nods and Ray rolls the little switch on the bag release and watches as the clear fluid starts to drip. Trent watches it for a few moments before adjusting the flow. He wants it run through much quicker than its current setting.

Now he makes a check of Clay's body, laid on the bed, the state of it shocks him. He can see the bite wounds on his flesh, he's not the only one they're concerning, as Sonny asks, "What the hell are they?"

Trent glances between Sonny and Ray's confused faces. He shrugs "I'd say... they're bites" he shakes his head and shrugs.

"Bites?! What the fuck!" Sonny's head wrinkles wondering how the hell Clay got bite marks on him "How the hell? What you think someone bit him? I don't get it ...Hey wait you think she did that to him?"

Trent's still checking his body over for more wounds. The red raw welds on his ankles from the tape, the small fine slashes on his wrists from where he cut himself free and then this big gaping knife wound, bleeding, on his arm.  
He already applied a large wadded dressing to when they brought him out of the bathroom, though now it's changed color, soaking up his blood and turning dark red.  
He preps another one then changes it, pulling off the old one and chucking it to the floor with all the other empty packets, tube covers, and needle stop covers.

Sonny's eyes are moving over his flesh to the bandage on his hand "What the hell's he done there?"

Trent frowns "I don't know yet, but it's covered so we'll deal with it when we get him stable!"

"Jeez..Clay, what the hell happened to you!" Sonny's head wrinkles with thought "I mean how long as this been going on?" He now notices he has bruises and cuts everywhere! "Why the fuck didn't we see this before?.. I mean ...some of these marks I've seen... but why didn't I realise what was happening?"  
He takes a deep breath wondering if he should blame himself from not seeing what was going on. Would he have taken it seriously even if Clay had asked for help?  
_I mean I made enough jokes about him getting beaten up by his girlfriend.. I even thought it was funny! _

He swallows the disappointment in himself for not helping his friend "How the hell was I that stupid?" he looks away, swallowing the tears that are choking him.

As he looks back he's aware that the quilt cover is no longer wrapped around Clay's body. Trent's had to move it to get all the drip lines into his arms.  
He's lying there once again exposed and Sonny makes a conscious effort to get a towel from the pile on the chair in the corner. He lays it across Clay's midriff, giving him back a little bit of dignity by covering him over.

Ray smiles acknowledging him. That even when the most important thing is saving his life that small gesture of Sonny's protecting him, helping him to hold on to his pride, but he can also see the pain etched in Sonny's face, he knows how close these two are now.  
Ray laughs to himself, how different from when Clay first arrived with Bravo, and Sonny didn't rate the _"Cocky little asshole!" _and always teased him with made up nicknames. Now they were more like pet names, given with love not derision.

Trent takes the syringe from the nightstand "Let's roll him on to his side"

Sonny grips him on the shoulder and thigh, holding him in place as Trent stabs, with some force, into the muscle on Clay's buttock.  
It makes Clay flinch, but he's had his eyes closed for some minutes now and he still doesn't open them.  
Trent sighs, muscle injections he knew always hurt but he had to do it. He depresses the syringe and Sonny watches the clear liquid, Narcan, begin to slowly disappear into Clay's body.

He holds his breath the same as Trent does. They look at each other, then as he pulls the fine needle syringe out of his flesh, taking a look at his watch. "Five minutes! Then it should start to have some effect"  
He rubs the injection site with a surgical wipe which joins the growing pile on the floor beside the bed.  
"Okay we can roll him back now, gently" as they do they both acknowledge the deep scratch marks on his back. Then they adjust his position and Sonny re-adjusts the towel covering him, watching as Trent preps the dark red, pouch of blood.

First pulling the tourniquet tight around his arm then tapping his wrist, he uses his teeth to pull the lid off the needle cannula and finds the vein, then slowly inserts it "Sonny you want to grab that!" he indicates to the bag of blood he just prepared ready.

Sonny's already sorting the tube and holding it into the air.  
He closes his eyes, all these medical treatments going on with Clay's body and him lying there still "He gonna be alright?" he frowns as he sees Trent checking his pupils  
Clay's eyes flicker with the light. Trent looks at him and despite the fact he knows Clay's not in a good way, the drugs and blood loss having taken a heavy toll, and he still has to get through the _'come down'_ plus any side effects, he still manages to reassure Sonny with a smile "He's gonna be good!"

Jason's over them now, he's been on the phone to Blackburn giving him a sit rep "How's he doing?"

"We need to get him to a hospital,like ASAP! I gotta be honest... he's not in great shape, but, he's doing what he does best, fighting it!"

Sonny laughs "Yeah come on G.Q .you gotta fight it!" he says it and laughs. He knows Clay hates when he calls him that "and Hey, you know, you still owe me twenty bucks, so don't be thinking this lets you off the hook!"

Sonny will say anything now, anything for some reaction, anything to take his own mind off what's happening to Clay.  
Clay's eyes flicker and there's a small curl to lips as Sonny holds his hand. He can sense it's registered with him as he squeezes his hand a bit tighter. Then he smiles as he feels the small squeeze back, it's nice and it reassures Sonny that Clay might just make it.

Now the lines are up and the blood flowing, the Narcan, hopefully starting to have its effect, Trent turns his attention the blood-soaked dressing on his hand. He unwraps it carefully and slowly. It comes to his attention how well it's bandaged. Despite the blood and what's happened the bandage is virtually intact  
"Clay never did this himself!" he frowns "I mean _he_ didn't bandage it!"

But his stomach turns with anxiety when he finally removes it. Inside the bandage glove is a yellowed wad dressing, the liquid that has oozed from the once fluid filled blisters on his hand

"Oh shit!" Trent close his eyes at the sight of the burn beneath. Even he grimaces at what must be a painful, sore, open red patch on his palm.

"What the hell is that?" Sonny gulps as he looks at Trent wide eyed

Trent coughs "A burn!"

"A burn?...What the hell do you mean a burn?" Jason looks at Trent "How they hell did he burn his hand like that? What the hell did he do?"

" I don't know! I can't even guess,but it's serious!... Ray get me that antibiotic bag in the case, I need to get that up now!" Trent shakes his head and takes a really deep breath the concentration starting to wear at him.

"How serious. I mean will it heal?" Jason's concerned, and it doesn't take much for them all to realise if Clay's hand is damaged he may not be able to hold, let alone a fire a weapon.

Trent shrugs "We can hope with some treatment ... if we keep on top of an infection, then... I don't see why not! We need to get it cleaned up though! " Jason sees this look on Trent's face "What, what is it?"

"Jace who ever bandaged this knew what they were doing ... I mean it's neat work"

"And? What's the problem? Trent, what are you saying?"

"And... Anne Marie!"  
They all turn to look at Ash as he breaks the silence he's been keeping "She.. err mm... she was pretty good with stuff like that and the bite marks... " he takes a breath putting his hand to his mouth taking a breath "...they'd be her too!"

"What, what the hell?!" Sonny frowns at him "You mean you think she did this, then bandaged him up? I mean how? Why would Clay let her do that?"

"I don't know but... " Ash nods "it's more than likely!"

Jason frowns he now wonders what she might have done to Ash that he would know this, and if he did know she was capable of this sort of thing  
_Why the hell he didn't speak up sooner!_

Trent's prepping another vein, as he inserts another cannula for the antibiotics.

Sonny looks away it's making him angry and a little queasy all these procedures happening to Clay while he stands there.

"These should help to get on top of any infection." Trent's hooking up the bag that Ray hands him getting Ray to hold that one up too. Then he begins to redress the burn on his hand "When we get him to hospital, they can look at it better!"

Brock's back in the room, he's brought with him a bowl of warm water, some soap and towel and washcloth he found. He starts to clean at Clay's feet and legs  
"Here give me that!" Sonny takes the washcloth and towel from Brock and continues to dab at the blood and sweaty grime on Clay's legs. Washing and squeezing it out the bowl of water soon turning a dirty red color. He's wiping round him cleaning him up.  
Trent's cleaned most of his arms with surgical wipes to prep the veins for the intravenous lines that are now embed in Clay's skin.

He looks at the slashes on his wrist and treats those next, all the time watching the bags with the blood and fluids in.  
"We're gonna need some more fluids and antibiotics .. I've exhausted my supplies, so we _really_ need to get him to a hospital _now_!"

"Okay!" Jason claps his hands; he's been waiting for something he can do to help.

"Okay, we move him, then I'll get Black burn to arrange transport for him, back to Virginia Beach, from there once he's stable! You set to go Trent?"

Trent looks at the liquid bags "Just get this fluid through then I'll have him ready to travel!"

"He is gonna be okay though?" Sonny feels on edge now they're talking about hospitals and moving him. He wishes they could leave him here just let him sleep it off, wake up in the morning and everything will be okay again. He knows in reality that's not going to happen and they do have to move him.

"I'm gonna need the resus kit, from the trunk of Ray's car" he sees the look on Sonny's face "It's just a precaution!"

Sonny frowns at him "What the hell? He is gonna be okay... right?"

Trent shrugs "He's doing great, I'll just be happier when we get him to hospital and get some more fluids into him!"

Sonny sighs "Okay!"

"We'll take him in my truck. Trent, Sonny, you with me ... Ray you take Brock, the dog and Ash, we'll meet you at the hospital!"

"Wait!...What?" Ash frowns "No! I'm coming with Clay!"

"NO!...No, you're not! There's no room! You go with Ray"

"Wait ...No, Sonny can go with Ray, I mean come on.." he laughs "..you're kidding, right? For god sake, _I'm_ his father, Jason come on be serious!"

"Oh, I am serious! You go with Ray! ... You lost all rights to calling yourself his father, when you did what you did! So, get in the car with Ray and... shut the hell up!"

"No! No, you can't do this! You have _no_ right!" Ash sighs frustrated now "Jesus Christ! You need to remember something ... you're his team leader _NOT_ his father!"

"What did you say?" Jason turns on him

"I said _I'm _his father, not you! You don't get to tell _me_ what to do! So I'm going with Clay!"

Sonny smirks he's ready for it now, as Jason loses it.  
He smacks Ash square in the face, his nose crunches under the force of the punch, the blood starts to pour down his face.  
The force knocks him to the floor with a thud, but Ash stands up again, fronting Jason, the SEAL in him not lying down. "You wanna take this somewhere, Jason! Do you?"

"Oh, you really wanna do this ...like _right_ now!"

"Hey! HEY! Will you just cool it!" Ray, stands between them "Now, let's just cool it, calm it down...okay! We're doing the right thing by Clay, now. Yes?"  
Ray looks between them holding them both back from each other. "Ash, I know you wanna go with him, but Trent needs to be with him okay. Just come with me and we'll follow behind, we'll stay close" He keeps eye contact with Ash "Okay? Ash, I said okay?" he hands Ash a towel from the pile for his bleeding face.

Ash knows he's not going to win, not now Jason's made up his mind. He takes a deep sigh "Okay... alright! I'll go with you!" he nods.  
Ray nods as he takes his hand off the both "but I want you to know he's back in Jason's face "This is not over!... Not by a long shot!"

"Oh really?" Jason's fuming

"Jace, brother, just cool it! "Ray frowns at him with a serious look "We need to get Clay to the hospital! Alright! What ever this is .. it's not for now!"

Trent shouts "I'm just about ready to go, now!" He's taken all the empty lines out only leaving the taped cannula's in Clay's arms they'll make for quicker access at the hospital.

Clay starts to come around a bit making a groaning sound "Clay! Clay... you hear me?" Sonny smiles

Clay nods his head. He aches so much he doesn't want to talk but he does indicate that he wants to sit up. Trent and Sonny help him up. "We're gonna get you to hospital now?" Trent watches him seeing a bit more color flood his cheeks

Clay nods again "I need my pants!"

"No, you're good! Don't worry about that!" Sonny smiles letting out a breath of relief

"No!...I said I need my pants!" He starts to get insistent which in turn makes him get anxious, which makes him breath harder and get breathless.

Trent can see the stress in his face "Okay! Just stay calm Clay and we'll get you some pants! Just keep yourself calm, Sonny, find him some pants... like now!"

"Yeah! Yeah sure thing!"  
He searches the bedroom till he comes across some sweatpants, which they help him into. He sits on the edge of the bed with Sonny holding him upright.

"You think you're good to go?" Trent looks watching his eyes his pupil still dilated. He still looks very vacant but he nods again. His mouth is so dry and he feels like he has a major hungover and so focusing enough to talk is too difficult.

Everyone stares at him and he can feel it. He's hoping they don't ask him anything he can't cope with questions right now.

Jason checks him "You okay? Ready to go?"

Clay nods. He won't look at Jason and just holds Sonny's hand as he wraps him in a clean blanket "You're gonna be fine .. come on, let's get you out of here!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Slowly they head to the truck. Jason watching him not saying a word. As they get in Trent sits in the back with him and Sonny in the front, though Sonny sits side on so he can keep one eye out the windshield and one on Clay

"We ready to go?"

Trent nods. Clay closes his eyes and leans back in the leather seat. It feels good to be driving away from there.

Ray, Ash and Brock are following up behind but as they're about fifteen minutes into driving Trent is starting to get concerned.  
He see Clay's chest rising and falling faster as he lays with his eyes closed, now slumped against the door and regularly checks his pulse.  
Jason keeps looking at him in the rear view mirror and Sonny doesn't take his eyes off him "Everything alright?" Jason frowns from the front

Trent doesn't answer he's watching Clay and he bites his lip while he watches "I think we need to stop

"Okay!" Jason indicates and slows he pulls to the side of the road. He can see Ray behind in the car and he pulls over too.

"Something must be wrong!" Ash and Ray stare out of the car window "Why have they stopped?"

Ray breathes "Let's just sit tight .. Jason will let us know!"

Trent checks on Clay "Think he's just sleeping! He's okay, carry on!"

"You sure?".

Trent frown's he's concerned "I'm keeping an eye on him just keep going. We need to get there!"

"Okay! Just let me know if you need me to stop"

Sonny's sat at an angle on the seat so he can watch Trent. He's willing Clay to fight, praying to get to the hospital.

They keep driving the dark the road, the trees as they pass the scene of the accident. The cars now being loaded on to tow trucks, the flashing orange lights sting their eyes in the dark, but no one says a word. Then they're back in the darkness of the road and they just look at each other all having similar thoughts but no one wanting to voice them. Wondering_ What happened to Ann Marie?_

Another five minutes of driving in silence and Trent fidgets in his seat. He's got his fingers on the pulse on Clay's neck again, and a certain agitation inside. He listens as the sounds from Clay's chest get fainter

"How long do you think till we..." Sonny continues to chatter but Trent stops him

"Shhhh!... Sonny Shhsh!" Trent stops his words while he listens

"Shhhh what?" at first Sonny's annoyed but then as he turns to the back watching Trent frantically moving around. It's then that a fear, a dread and a panic rise inside him "Trent, what's wrong? Is there something wrong with Clay?"

"Will you... SHUT UP!" Trent's own breathing increases and he holds his breath so he can listen better. He swallows hard as he puts his ear to Clay's mouth "Shit!... JASON we need to STOP!"

Jason and Sonny swing round in their seats facing a stony-faced Trent pulling at Clay's now slumped body  
"He's stopped breathing!" Trent looks up "We _need_ that resus kit from Ray's car" the one they forget to get out. Jason nods and jumps out flagging Ray to stop as Trent gets out and opens the door on Clay's side "Sonny give me a hand to get him out!"


	29. Chapter 29

** Chapter 29: Mr Perry we have some questions **

"I need that kit in the trunk!" Jason's rushing as he comes around the far side of the car while Ray gets out of the driver's seat. They dive into the trunk gathering all the bags  
"I'm not sure what he needs so bring it all!"

Ash opens the car door staring at the unfolding scene in the road. Trent in his quiet impatience, pulls Clay's legs round as Sonny takes care of his head, laying him on the blankets Sonny used to wrap him in before they left the cabin.  
He's quite a sight, laid out in the road, half dead, half alive, Trent rushing round pulling things out of bags and Sonny on top of him now doing chest compressions. 

"You stay in the car!" Jason points telling Ash to stay put, but he still makes an attempt to get out "I told you, you don't move!"

"Go to hell Jason, you are really pushing my patience now!. You need to remember, you're not my team leader! I don't know who the hell you think you are, keep telling me what I will and won't do!"

"You know what I don't give a damn what you think! I'm tellin' you to **_stay in the car!_** So, you stay in the car, unless you need me to demonstrate again what will happen if you don't!"

Ash laughs at him ready to rise to the challenge.

"Hey...HEY! What the hell... Can you both do this later, Jace... get that kit to Trent!"  
Ray's stern tone and look as he raises his eyebrow, frowning his disappointment in both of them "This is _not_ the time for this, Brother!"  
He stares hard. Jason takes on board Ray's lecture but doesn't answer as he heads back to where Clay's still sprawled in the road with Trent and Sonny.

They have him uncovered and Sonny's pushing up and down on his bare chest, and even in the cool night air his sweat is beading on Sonny's forehead.  
"One, two, three..." he's counting in quick succession calling out desperately "_CLAY Breath!" _Counting and calling to him through gritted teeth, only occasionally using his arm bicep to wipe his sweaty head.  
"Come on Clay! For god sake, listen to me for once .. just fuckin' breath!"

Trent starts unpacking the defib and ambu bag. He takes in his own huge breath, it's one of sheer concentration and it makes everyone look at him. Even though Sonny continues with his compressions they all know when Trent sighs like that it means he's worried, they've heard it before in times of trauma  
"Come on Clay... _please_! One, two, three, four, five, six...Come on God damn you!... Ten, eleven, twelve, ... Oh god hurry up Trent! ...Twenty..."

"Okay stand clear!" Trent starts putting the pads on Clay's skin, while Ray puts the ambu bag from his kit over his nose and mouth and starts pumping.

Sonny sits back on his heels rubbing his hands over his head. There's a lump of emotion that threatening to seal his throat closed. He doesn't know about Clay, but he almost can't breathe himself.  
Sitting watching at the bag going up and down "Oh Jeez .. come on Clay!" he grips at his head "Come on, come on!.. SHIT!" he looks up at Jason both of then willing a breath to come out "Oh shit...he's not gonna breath!"

"Sonny _SHUT _the hell up! Trent knows what he's doing!"  
Jason can feel his heart pumping twice as fast, and Sonny keep calling out is turning his blood to pure adrenaline "How's he doing?"  
Trent just ignores both them and just carries on concentrating, preparing the epinephrine auto injection pulling Clay's sweat pants down and holding the injection device against his thigh skin, depressing the button, then rubbing quickly as the injection site.

Sonny gulps so hard that he can hear himself swallow. He puts his head down not daring to look any more, _I hope to hell Ray's praying hard._

Ray is silently praying to himself _So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you_; As he Trent and Jason take over the medical interventions.

With nothing to do to help Sonny now has no focus, and he finds himself just glaring at Ash_.  
He's hovering over the proceedings Like some god damn spectre!_  
Ash is silent there is nothing he can do or say that will help Clay, so all he can do is stand there.

He's showing no emotion because everything he feels he's keeping it all contained inside, because what good would it do to show it, as he knows that none of them care how he feelsl!

It makes sonny's blood boil watching him. His calm seemingly, uncaring presence.  
_You did this! _He grinds his teeth as he keeps repeating it over and over _You fuckin' did this!_  
He's willing Ash to somehow hear his unspoken words.  
Ash does. He can tell what Sonny's thinking, as he constantly glances at him, and every so often and he can tell by the look in his face, giving a look that ranges from frustration, to anger. Whichever emotions Sonny's feeling, Ash can feel that vibe.

Then it just builds too much and Sonny can't contain it, he gets up in a full fit of rage and the only thing he can focus on is launching himself at Ash. "Get back! " he shoves him hard in the chest pushing him back, pushing him away "I said get the hell _back!..._ Jason told _you_ to stay in the car!"

"I'm not doing this with you right now Sonny! My son is... is laying there dying there in the road, and you really want me to stay in the car? Get the _hell _away from me!"

Sonny laughs right in his face "Clay's dying you say?... You know you did that!"  
He points behind him but not taking his eyes off Ash staring him long and hard in the face " You take a good look at what you did, and all because you can't keep your dick in your pants. I swear to god, as plain as I stand here, if anything...anything happens to him, then you better pack up your shit and get far away from me, because otherwise you're gonna be checkin' out caskets and headstones!"

"You swear to god!" Ash laughs "What the hell do you think you're gonna do? Hey? Tell me big man" he now pushes Sonny back " I didn't see you looking out for your friend, No I saw you laughing telling him to _man up_, not _let his girlfriend do that_ So big man where were you when your friend needed help? "

Everyone looks round it's almost like they can hear Sonny's fist clench together, but it's okay because Jason's on him "Hey!... Hell no Sonny! ... Look at me...just cool it, alright!.. Just knock it off! Sonny come on! Not now brother, save him for later! He'll get what's coming don't worry!"

Sonny takes a breath as he looks round to hear Clay coughing. "Oh, praise the lord!" Sonny looks to the sky! Trent's moving around with a stethoscope round his neck and still sifting through various things in his various bags.

Ray's kneeling beside him still in position_. O Lord, who lends me life, lend me a heart replete with thankfulness._

Clay's hand comes up to meet his trying to push the bag away from his face and as Ray smiles putting his hand to his there's a deep collective sigh from the whole team. _Thank god!_

"Just stay the hell away from me, okay!" Sonny points at Ash warning him.

Ash just laughs.  
Well on the outside he laughs, inside he's not quite so cocky, he knows he has the full wrath of BRAVO coming his way even if nothing happens to Clay.

But as he hears Clay coughing he takes a breath sitting down on the hood of car and grasping his thighs "Thank god!.. _Phewwww!_" he lets out a long sigh, his hands are shaking , as he watches the rest of the team sit back and take a silent breath.

Clay trying to wave all the medical stuff away from him and Sonny smiles as he watches his friend, he almost daren't speak the words "Is he gonna be okay, Trent?"

Trent looks up, sweat breaking on his forehead. He's nodding but trying to come to terms with his own inner terror, the one he felt deep inside of himself, the one that _said They might just lose Clay right there in the road!  
_ "We just need to get him to hospital! ASAP " inner Trent thinking _I can't go through that again!_

It doesn't really answer Sonny's question, so he knows that means it isn't over, but at least Clay's breathing is sounding better and he's starting to get back to being his normal pain in the ass self as he watches him struggling to try and sit himself up already, and push the breathing mask away again.

"Hey golden boy! You just lay still and do as you're told for once, or you know what, Sonny Quinn here might just come over and make you lay down!" he laughs "You're nothin' but trouble for BRAVO and the biggest pain in my ass so just do as you're told, I don't wanna have to kick your butt, do you hear me?!"

Clay nods with a smile curling on his lips. He can see the worry in Sonny's face, and he can feel it in himself. No matter how brave he's trying to be and despite feeling like shit! He knows he's just glad to be opening his eyes and seeing their faces .

"Alright let's get him up and get him out of here!" Jason claps his hands rapidly getting them all moving.

Trent starts packing up his gear, just throwing it all in the bags there's no time to sort it, nor can he be bothered. No, he'll do that when he has the time, when they get Clay to the hospital. When everything's alright.

"Err mm... where you do you think you're going sunshine!" Jason stares at Clay as he makes unsuccessful attempts to stand himself up "I don't think so!" His large hand on Clay's shoulder pushing him back down "Clay you've put us through enough shit tonight so you just lay still until Trent tells you, you can move!"

He pushes him back as Ray grabs his feet, Jason his shoulders and they carry him back to the truck.  
Sonny's through the other side passenger back door on the opposite side pulling and sliding him through, as they lay him out fully, onto the leather seat in the back of the truck.

"Now _STAY_!" Jason points, as Clay tries to sit up "Sonny you go with the others in the car, Trent and I will go on ahead and _You_ ... You can stay lying down! That's an order!"

Clay nods and smiles as he looks up at Sonny who's hovering inches over his face "I'll see you when we get there buddy ... and Clay...don't go doing that again or I'll kick your butt so hard you'll never sit down!"

Clay smiles and nods "Sonny .." he says whispered and breathless, hardly able to get a whole sentence out, and so he just sighs again, taking Sonny's hand, that's leaned on the head rest by his arm and squeezes it reassuringly.

"Hang -in there, buddy!" Sonny pats him on his arm and then ruffles his hair, he knows Clay hates that but it's the only way he can make sure the tearful emotion welling inside him, doesn't spill out in front of everyone.  
He takes another deep and focused breath as he heads to Ray's car. Ash is just getting back in the front passenger seat beside Ray when Sonny grabs his collar and hauls him out "In the back sunshine!"

Ray smiles.  
Ash would argue but Ray gives him this frown and he gives in, and without argument he just opens the back door and gets in next to Cerb and Brock.  
Even Cerb gives him a look of disdain, while Brock just looks out of the window not even acknowledging him, and though he hasn't said anything Brock knows he has to share the back car seat with him for the rest of the journey, but that doesn't mean he has happy about it either.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

As they arrive at the hospital they push Clay through on the trolley that Sonny grabbed and brought to the truck door to load him on.  
As they push him through the double doors the Doctors are waiting and hurriedly catch all the details from Trent who keeps walking at double quick pace with them as he, the trolley and Clay, disappear down the corridor till they're all out of sight.

Blackburn's already been on to the hospital and made the necessary arrangements for updated sitreps at regular intervals, even though Jason's already on the phone giving him one. He's also organizing getting Clay returned to Virginia Beach ASAP. 

As Trent disappears behind the double doors at the end of the corridor the rest of Bravo slump in the hard plastic waiting chairs. Shattered by the experience and worry of the evening .

"Ahhhh! Shit!...Phewwww!" Sonny lets out his frustrations as he slumps his head back against the wall.

Ray sits quietly reflecting on what's gone on and how _blessed_ they've been, his hands dropped between his knees in a prayer hold as he leans forward.  
Brock rests his elbow on the chair then impatiently gets up again "I'm just gonna walk Cerb around for a bit!"

Jason nods giving his okay "Don't go too far in case we need you!"

"Sure thing!" He pats Jason on the arm, as he takes a dog ball out of his pocket and throws it in the air, catching it.

Jason runs his hands though his hair slumping his back down the wall, so he's crouched on the floor. The only one left standing is Ash who's now pacing around.  
" You know I think I should go see what's happening! .. Go down there!" he looks at he double doors it seems a while since they took Clay

"You stay there!" Jason stands up "You're not to go anywhere near him, till he asks for you!" 

Sonny sits and glares he's ready in case Jason's somehow not enough to stop him leaving.

But if truth be told, Ash doesn't really want to go down there, it scares him what he might see or more what Clay might say.  
So, he's glad in a way that he has the excuse not to go. He doesn't want to see his son in that state again, all drips and tubes and medical devices.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The time ticks by and they've heard nothing. Brock's back having run Cerb around and now left him in the car sleeping in the car. Ray's closing his tired eyes as he slumps as much as he can in the hard chairs.

But they all jolt up from where they're sitting when they hear the main doors go bang as they open then close, but it's not the doors that Trent and Clay disappeared through, it's the ones behind them, the ones that lead to the outside world.

Two large, plump built men stride through they're wearing cheap looking suits, one in a brown nylon type thing and one matching but in grey. Both with matching cheap ties and they're now flashing badges and talking to the receptionist. She gives them the phone.

They seem to be asking her a lot of questions and Jason stands up folding his arms as he watches them.  
Now she's pointing in their direction and Jason's frown intensifies, as they come striding towards him.

"I'm looking for..." he looks in the notebook he has in his overly large, chubby hand "... a Raymond ...Perry, is that one of you?"

Jason looks round and Ray stands up, his eyebrows giving away his sudden surprise and confusion of hearing his name called. He's not recognising these guys and it concerns him " Err mmm... That'd be me...who's askin?"

"You Mr Raymond Perry?" he checks again as Ray nods in reply "I'm Detective Roberts and this Detective Malone, from the county sheriff's office. We'd like to ask you a few questions regarding the disappearance of a ..." he looks again at his notebook "...Miss Ann Marie, Jenkins. I believe you called in a missing person's report?"

"What the hell is this?" Jason stands between them and Ray

Detective Malone looks round continually looking at Ash until finally his curiosity peaks "Do I know you?"

"No, I don't think so!" Ash shakes his head not recognising the man in front of him

"No, I do! Where the hell do I know you from?"

"Oh god!" Sonny frowns "Don't tell me another Ash Spenser fan! ...Jeez kill me now!"

"TV!... that's right ..I've seen you on TV!" he nods and smiles "You're the SEAL guy, the one who wrote a book, I have a copy on my desk... Ash Spenser I knew it, I knew you !"

The other Detective, Roberts, looks at Jason. He's assuming from his stance that he's somewhat in charge of this group "So you a seal too?... You all seals"

"What the hell is this?" Jason's cautious not to answer the question directly

"Sorry you are?"

"Jason Hayes!"

"Okay well Mr Hayes ...I will assume for now that you are in charge of this group but we just need to take Mr Perry in for questioning."

"Questioning ...questions about what? You can't just come in here like this now and do this!"

"Oh I can, I'm a Detective with the county sheriffs office and I need to ask Mr Perry here some questions in regards to what he knows about the disappearance of Ms Jenkins. It's possible he could be the last person to have seen her alive!"

"Wait!...What?...No I didn't see her alive! No, I didn't see her at all, I just called it in!"

"Well that's what we need established. We need to establish quite a few things about this evening, a lot of loose ends her that don't make much sense so... Mr Perry if you'd like to come with us! Oh...don't go too far gentlemen we well be calling you all in for statements soon... be interesting to find out why I have a bunch of Navy seals running around my county on the night when a woman goes missing!"


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30: A father and son thing! **

Jason's pacing back and forward in the entrance to the sheriff's office. Sitting down for a few minutes then standing up and pacing again, constantly checking the time on his watch.  
The female sheriff's officer behind the desk gives him an occasional pitying smile to which he keeps forcing a polite upturn of his lips in reply.

She likes him. Well she has been studying him for at least the past two hours.  
Tall, rugged, strong arms. Which he constantly has folded making his biceps look bigger, yeah she likes the look of his physique but not of the expression on his face, because he looks angry, with a demeanor that says, _don't talk to me because at any moment I'm going to jump right over that counter and do something I shouldn't. _

She did offer him a coffee a couple of hours ago, but the moment she asked, the look he gave her made it seem like a big mistake, so she hasn't asked anymore.

Jason looks at her as she smiles again "What the hell is going on here? What's taking so long and where the hell is Ray?"

She shrugs "I don't know but I can go find out for you, if you want?"

"Yeah, yeah you do that! And tell whoever the hell you speak to, that I want Ray back, like right now!"

Just as he finishes his rant Detective's Roberts and Malone, followed by Ray, push through the glass double doors.

Ray's pursing his lip and raising his eyebrow. He looks tired, but okay. "Ray!" Jason acknowledges him as he turns to look at Roberts "What the hell is going on? Has Blackburn been in touch with you?"

"If you mean Commander Blackburn, then yes we've had a conversation!"

"Well if you're done with this bullshit then we'll get out of here. Come on Ray lets go!"

"Err mm... Mr Hayes, before you go. A word!"

"What now, we need to get back and check on Clay. Do you know how long we've been here."

" I appreciate that but I'm sure you will understand, we have a job to do. A young woman has gone missing, that's my priority. So I just wanna say, don't go too far! I will have more questions yet, once I get a chance to speak with Mr Spenser"

Jason frowns turning back from the exit to look at him "You've not spoken to Clay yet? So, what the hell have you been doing then? ... I want this cleared up!"

"Patience Mr Hayes. We have to do this by the book and according to the Doctor, Mr Spenser is still too incapacitated, by drugs, to cooperate fully with our investigation."  
He sighs looking Jason up and down, working him out in his mind "Tell me something Mr Hayes, your man, is he a known user of prescription medication or... any other drugs for that matter that you know of?"

"Clay?!... Drugs?! No, no he wouldn't" Jason's face scowled confused at the thought of Clay and drugs. Hell even when he had the worst of injuries he would always struggle through denying anything if he could. So the idea of Clay taking drugs for fun that was just laughable.

"But am I correct in what I'm told that he had a recent serious injury, so would he not have been on medication for that?"

"Yeah I guess ,but... he's better now. Back in the field so if he was taking anything it would be minimal"

"So, you don't think there's a possibility he would be using?"

"What?" Jason frowns he can't believe how this guy is wording this "No.. Clay doesn't _use_!" he laughs "Have you seen him? He works out.. He doesn't take drugs!"

Jason looks at Ray, the look on his face must be one of utter confusion because Ray raises his eyebrows and shrugs "Don't look at me man! I've already been through is bullshit a hundred times tonight!"

Jason turns his attention back to Detective Roberts "What the hell are you getting at here? You know Clay didn't do anything, right?... _He_ was attacked by his girlfriend, Ann Marie "

"Yeah you see Mr Hayes..." he sighs "... this is the part I'm having a hard time with. Mr Perry told me the same thing, but then I look at Mr Spenser and as you say, he's a very fit man, strong. So the the bit I'm not understanding is how a pretty little thing of Ms Jenkins size and build could over power him. I have to be honest, I have met her a couple of times when her father stayed here, and well..."he laughs "I don't see a sweet little thing like her being capable of something like what Mr Perry described"

"Drugs!... She gave him drugs, that's how she did it! You said it yourself, he still has the drugs in his system, you must have a tox report?"

"Yeah we do, but err mm... what it doesn't tell us is if he took them himself, I mean willingly! You know I looked into this fentanyl and, well it's a big thing these days, with the younger ones!"

"What?! Are you serious, No!" Jason rubs his head he can't believe this is even a suggestion "NO! Just no! Clay didn't do this! He wouldn't ...he wouldn't take drugs! Never!"

Seeing how aggressively upset Jason is becoming Detective Malone steps in, putting his hand on Jason's chest and pushing him back from Roberts who just stands there staring at him.  
"Hey just watch yourself ! I don't wanna have to be arresting you tonight, though I will if you push it!"  
They go eye to eye, Malone thinking he's not standing for any of this macho bullshit from Jason. Jason wondering if he stepped into an alternative reality because are these cops really seeing them as the bad guys.

"Mr Hayes I know you're upset, so let's just calm down" he looks at his watch "It's late, so I'll let the attitude go, but see I'm wondering if this is a .." he coughs awkwardly "... a lovers tiff that got out of hand. Maybe they _partied_ a little hard, then you know... had one of those kinky fun time sessions everyone's talking about."  
He turns and looks to Ray "My wife has that book, err mm... what's it called.." he clicks his fingers while he tries to think of the name ".. fifty something? You know the one, Malone that one with the ... the bedroom stuff, where they get all tied up."

He laughs, but Ray just scowls at him, an even more confused look on his face, his eyebrow cocked in disgust.  
"Well anyway... you know people like to play games, is my point. Maybe they played some _games_, maybe it got a bit of out of hand. They argued and she stormed off, left him there to teach him a lesson? Hell you know what women are like about making a scene if they can!"  
He sniffs taking his handkerchief from his pocket and wiping his nose. "Perhaps she'd taken some drugs herself ? Maybe that's how she crashed the car. Then, in confusion ran and ...fell in the lake, like in Mr Perry's version of events!"

He shrugs content in his theory, which to Roberts, makes way more sense than the version Ray told him during interview. No, trying to imagine that she attacked Clay, then tied him up, without him stopping her, that seemed too wild of an accusation.  
He thought about it for a while how she would have done it. A strong physically fit man, let alone a Navy Seal, allowing a small petite woman to do that to him. No, no he just couldn't see that as a theory.

"What the hell?" the scowl on Jason's forehead shows how annoyed he is that they're not being taken seriously "No, that's not what happened, ask Clay. She's been... been.." Jason's words falter some how its hard to say the words of what's been happening,  
I mean why would Malone believe it when he hadn't wanted to believe it. When it was going on right in front of him and he hadn't seen it "She's been doing stuff to him for a while now!"

"Stuff?" Malone is the one with the lines on his forehead now "What stuff?"

"You know scratches on his back, bruises from hitting him, a cut on his head from a cup. She bit him, he has bite marks all over!"

"Bite marks... bite marks as in more than one!" Roberts is also frowning " So he let her bite him?" he laughs "So this could just be .. like I said, foreplay, bedroom games, you know maybe getting a little rough with each other!"  
He looks round at Malone "So, did Mr Spenser report these things, to you or ...his superiors? Did he say that she was attacking him?"

Jason looks away. He's awkward the fact that no, Clay didn't come to him, didn't report it. But then hell why would he? How the hell would Clay ever admit to him or the guys what was going on. No one in the team would.  
Seriously, you're girlfriend beating on you. No, no one would have wanted to endure the ridicule of that. Jason knew he certainly wouldn't, so no way in hell would Clay either  
"No" he says it more quietly, more subdued. Feeling like he's being ashamed on Clay's behalf. "No, no he didn't report it"

"Right, so she was doing all these things but ... he didn't think to report it to anyone, not his team mates, not anyone? So then could it possible it was something he liked, I mean something they did in the privacy of their bedroom. Like I say people do all kinds of weird shit!" he laughs looking at Malone "You remember that guy we found in stockings with a plastic bag over his head that time!"

"Oh yeah!" Malone remembers back to the motel room they were called to "What the hell was that all about?"

"Like I say, people like to do all sorts and I'm sure big tough guys like you ... well I guess they like to get a little rough sometimes and perhaps that's what happened this time?"

Jason scowls at him.  
Ray stares shaking his head in disgust, but he's not surprised because he's put up with this bullshit attitude during his questioning earlier. That and him insinuating that he had pushed her in the lake as some sort of revenge.  
But whilst the detective is not on Ray's favorite person list, he hopes to god Jason doesn't hit him because he can see that now brewing by the look on Jason's face.  
"Jace, Brother leave it! Let's get out of here!" he puts his hand on Jason's chest holding him back.

"Hmmm!" the detective smiles as he watches Jason, eye to eye, he can feel the aggressive vibe building. He can see what hot heads these guys can be, he saw it earlier with Ray.

"Yeah..." he sniffs "Mr Perry is right, let's wrap it up for tonight ... we all need to get some rest. Why don't you go check yourselves into the motel down the road, cos I'll need to speak with you all again tomorrow. Oh... " He turns back as Jason and Ray head to the exit "... and let's hope, for everyone's sake's, Ms Jenkins turns up by then!"

Jason steps back in front of him, towering over the large chubby man "I don't know what you're trying to insinuate here but _she_ did this! You need to speak to Ash. Ask him about the things she did to him."

Ray looks horrified that Jason's now going to make it worse and rile up the Detective "Jace, leave it tonight, everyone's tired. Don't say anything you might regret, just leave it brother!"

"No Ray, I won't leave it, cos this ... all this .. your theories it's _Bullshit!_ That's what it is!" he pushes the detective with his fingers " You need to speak to Ash!"

The detective smirks and rubs his forehead. He's tired as well and this attitude of from Jason is really getting on his nerves now "Ash..Ash Spenser? The TV book guy ...Mr Spenser's _Father_? What the hell's he got to do with this?"

"Jason!" Ray frowns. He's thinking it's not a great idea to get into all this. Wondering if this is now only gonna make it all seem much more complicated, and somehow cast another shadow over whatever went on.  
He even made sure he was careful in interview that he didn't mention what went on with Ash and Ann Marie. Largely because he wasn't sure of the whole story and also because this Detective seemed to manage to twist all his words.  
It even crossed Ray's mind what a great military interrogator this guy would make because of his ability to tie you in knots with just a few words.

Jason looks awkward perhaps wishing he could take it back but he can't " She did things. Things to him like she did to Clay!"

"Things! Why would she do these _things _to Ash Spenser? What's Spenser senior got to do with all this?"

"They ummm... "Jason coughs now fumbling for words knowing that perhaps Ray was right this was only complicating the situation, but that if they only just spoke to Ash that he would straighten it all out and tell them what she was like "They err mm... they had a thing!"

"A _thing_?" the detective shrugs "What the hell sort of _thing_?"

Jason looks awkwardly at Ray "A relationship. They were seeing each other!"

The detective raises his eyes and laughs "Seeing each other!? ... Mr Spenser's father was was seeing his girlfriend? Oh... " he laughs again looking at Malone "Did you hear this Malone, a real keep it in the family affair. What the hell... so when was this?"

Jason decides not to mention recent events perhaps thinking that might not look so good "Err mm... a while back. I don't know you'll have to ask him, but he'll tell you what went on!"

"So let me get this straight...Mr Spenser's _father_, was seeing his girlfriend first, then she... finished with the father?... and went to the son!"  
He and Malone look at each other and both laugh "A father and son thing? Alright then!" he sighs trying to get his head round this new turn of events  
"_Phewww!_...Well we'll speak to the book guy, see what he has to say. So what, you say he was into this kinky bedroom stuff as well?" he frowns a big smile spreading across his face "WOW! She sure picked the right father and son team!"

As Roberts laughs again Jason growls at him and Malone looks at the floor trying to hide his amusement "Never can tell boss, takes all sorts!"

"No! No it wasn't like that!" Jason's furious at the insinuation that this was something Clay was willing participant in "Look just speak to Ash, he'll tell you what she did!"

"Oh, we will don't worry. And I don't suppose he reported this _stuff_ either?... Perhaps he at least told his son what he was getting in to, if like you say she's really done all this stuff before. I mean surely one of them would have reported her, or ... or told someone, don't you think?"

"No!" Jason closes his eyes and takes a deep sigh remembering his conversation with Ash.  
That Ash had warned him, even asked him for help and though at the time he had had a gut feeling something wasn't right and that Ash was serious, did he do anything.  
No, he hadn't done anything and now he had to live with that. But if he had done something then Clay might not be lying in a hospital bed, and a dumb out of town Detective would not be making accusations about Clay's lifestyle.  
He sighs. He has to be honest in his reply "No!...No, I don't think he did report it!"

"Soooo,... neither of them reported_ any _of this _stuff_, these injuries that occurred to them? Her _'attacking' _them?"

Jason looks at Ray who shrugs at him shaking his head thinking he's already been through all this during his earlier questioning and he's wondering why the hell Jason even mentioned about Ash.

"So Mr Hayes, could it be that they didn't report it, because they liked it!? You know it was their _thing_, and maybe they're not gonna tell you that, right, because.. you might be a bit judgey about what they do in the bedroom!"

Jason give a frustrated, angry, laugh "Yeah right! _YOU_ think I'm judgey?" he sighs trying to hold his temper back "Whatever! .. Look, just speak to Ash, he'll explain it!"

"Oh, we intend to. We will get to the bottom of this Mr Hayes be sure of that! Because the alternative that maybe,... maybe lets say she did attack your guy, for reasons unknown, but then after finding him in that state, that then you and your guys, perhaps dispensed some sort justice of your own!? Well that doesn't bode well for any of you!"  
He sighs staring Jason in the face "So, you and your team get some rest Mr Hayes!..Because we will be looking deeper into this. You better just hope Ms Jenkins turns up somewhere, preferably alive!"

Jason swallows hard he's now starting to realise how complicated this all looks.  
_But it'll be fine once they speak to Ash and Clay_. _Yeah they'll tell them what happened and clear it all up! _

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

At the hospital Sonny's pacing the waiting room. All he can do apart from keep staring at Ash. He's sat slumped in the waiting chairs with his head in his hands.

Brock comes back through the entrance doors "Right, I've err mm.. organized rooms down the road, at the Lakeside Motel, like Jason asked. He said, him and Ray are gonna be back soon!"

"He straighten it all out with those sheriffs? I mean, do we know why they took Ray in?"

"He didn't say, just to get some rooms and get some rest. I left Cerb there so I'm gonna head back. Thought I'd drop you the keys!"  
He looks at Sonny handing him three room keys. "err mm... I'll leave it with you to decide who shares with who!"  
He looks over at Ash who looks up. "Me and Cerb will be happy with whatever you decide!" He's guessing he will get lumbered with Ash because there is no way in hell that Sonny will share with him, but right now he's too tired to care, and he has Cerb for company so he doesn't actually have to talk to Ash.  
He heads to the hospital exit door and stops turning back "Oh and hey guys ... did you know there's TV crews outside!"

TV Sonny frowns "What the hell are they here for?"

He looks at Ash who looks up from staring at the floor "Probably coverage of the accident. The victim was bought here." he frowns thinking " But not sure how long before they get wind of Ann Marie's disappearance!"

Sonny stares at him "Why would they be interested in that?"

Ash laughs at his naivety "Sonny this has potential to go mainstream! Oh come on ... prominent plastic surgeon's daughter goes missing after a fatal accident! We just gotta hope ... " he sighs "they don't get a sniff that we're involved, cos that could kinda be a big problem!"

The doors of the corridor swing open diverting their attention as the doctor who's been treating Clay addresses them "Do we have any of Clay Spenser next of kin here?"

"Err mm... Jason's not here at the moment!" Sonny replies wondering and hoping if everything's okay with Clay "Doc how's he doing?"

"Sorry you are?"

" Ummm... Sonny Quinn. I err mm ...we, we work together!"

"But you're not related to him. Not next of kin?"

"No... no not next of kin, nor related but...Sorry does this mean somethings happened? Is Clay alright.. I mean...you know "

"He's doing okay!" the doctor gives him a sympathetic smile "But I'm sorry Mr Quinn I can't speak with you. Family only, you understand!" the Doctor looks at the forms on his clipboard "I see an Ash Spenser listed here, on his medical records?"

"That would be me. Ash Spenser. I'm Clay's father!" Ash stands up from his seated position.

"Okay, would you like to see your son then, Mr Spenser?"

"Ummm!... Yeah, that would be good!"  
Ash rubs his hands through his hair, taking a deep breath, straightening his clothes and gathering himself. His brain is frantic now trying to decide what, _what the hell is he going to say to Clay? _

Sonny frowns looking around with no one else here he's wondering whether he should stop this. It seems wrong letting Ash go see Clay, and so just as Ash is about to disappear down the corridor, behind the swing doors Sonny grabs him and pushes him back against the doorway "Hold it there!... What the hell do you think you're doin'? Jason told you to stay away!"

"Oh yeah... Jason said! You know what Sonny, I don't care what Jason said, because Clay is my son! You heard the doctor, family only! That's me not you and_ not _Jason! So if you'll excuse me I need to see my son now!"

Sonny grinds his teeth, he's seething with rage. The tone Ash uses, he could wipe the smug look off his face right here in this corridor. In fact he has to stop himself doing just that  
"Jason's gonna have somethin' to say about this! He's gonna be real pissed!"

"Sonny..." Ash is in his face. Smug in his attitude "Do you really think I care what Jason says! He's not my team leader and he's_ NOT_ Clay's father! He can't make decisions for my son no matter what he thinks!"

"You might not care but...perhaps you should!" A large strong hand comes out of no where and pulls him back "What the hell's going on here?"

"Jace!" Sonny smiles as Jason and Ray appear beside them.

Jason's now holding Ash back "So, someone going to fill me in on what's going on?" he frowns at Sonny "Clay alright?"

"I'll tell you what's going on shall I. I'm going to see my son... The doctor said _family_ can see him. That's me! Not you."

Jason sighs "Come on Ash you know better than that! You might be blood but BRAVO will always be Clay's family over you any day of the week, so I'll come as well!"

"I'm sorry!" the Doctor puts his hand on Jason stopping him "Only one at this stage... I don't want to overwhelm him just now he's err mmm... still very fragile"

Jason frowns at the Doctor "Fragile?... He is okay though?" the Doctor nods. Jason thinks for a moment "Okay fine.. let him go!"

"Fine? Jason are you crazy!" Sonny questions him "What do you mean fine? Hell, Jason it should you! You should be the one going to see him, not this asshole!"

"Yeah maybe Sonny but ... but he's right. He is his father"

Ash smirks at Sonny "Thank you! Some sense at last!"

Jason puts his hand on his collar before he disappears through the doors "You upset him in anyway and ... " Jason glares at him grinding his teeth at the thoughts of what he'd like to do to Ash right now holding him here in his grip, this close to this waste of space father "Well let's just say don't! And Ash...we need to talk when you get done with this!"

"Okay, fine we'll talk. Look, I better go!" Ash disappears though the double doors.

"Jesus Christ, Jace! I can't believe you let him go. Clay's not gonna wanna see him! Jason you should have gone!... He needs you!"  
Sonny sighs, his tiredness and worry affecting his emotions as he paces the waiting area again. He wanted to see Clay, to know that he's okay, to be there for him.  
He runs his hands through his hair as he lets out another exasperated sigh "He needs BRAVO... not that piece of shit!" he points down the corridor, he can't hate Ash anymore than he does right now.

"Sonny!.." Jason grabs at him and makes him stop pacing "Sonny,calm down alright! Don't worry,Trent's through there, he'll keep an eye. He won't let him upset Clay! .. And anyway...right now, we might have bigger problems than Ash!"


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31: Let's get you out of pain! **

Ash takes deep calming breathes as he walks, what feels like, a never-ending corridor of white walls to get to the end room where Clay is.  
His mind has been running scenarios of things he is going to say to Clay and things maybe he shouldn't. Should he tell the truth, should he lie? Should he only answer what Clay asks or lay it all out there.  
He swallows hard, his apprehension about seeing his son is stuck like a knotted lump in his throat.

As he approaches the end of the corridor he can see Trent hovering outside. Pacing back and forward, back and forward, just like he'd just watched Sonny do in the waiting area earlier.

Now he's within quiet speaking distance, he sighs.  
He's glad that it's Trent that's been here with his son. Always quiet, always calm, measured in his responses. His skills had saved Clay, and others, on many occasions.  
He thought how lucky BRAVO were to have such a great medic. Someone who could be calm but take charge when it counted.  
If he was honest he was glad Clay had such a tight team, even if he knew they didn't like, himself.  
He didn't care much for any of them really, especially Jason.  
Sure, him and Sonny clashed but that was Sonny's way, he'd always butt heads with someone but Jason, he was on another level, and this with Clay, what had happened with Ann Marie, it was building a vibe of deep-rooted hatred between them. A hatred that Ash knew at some point would boil over.

He consoled himself that he'd been a SEAL too. Same training, same determined will to survive, and sure Jason probably would take him in a head on one to one clash, but there was no way he'd just take it lying down. No Ash knew he would fight back, and that was something Jason would do well to remember.

"Hey!" Ash looks Trent in the face wondering if he'll even get a response. He's never sure with any of BRAVO about the reception he'll receive, except Ray. Ray was always polite enough to respond, because Ray always looked for the good, even Ash.  
Trent had a much quieter persona, and though perhaps he would not be as out and out rudely blunt as Sonny or Jason, Ash could still tell that right now, it was an effort for him to answer.

"Hey!" Trent struggles to be polite. He has to admit, even if he hasn't voiced it, he's not been impressed by Ash's behaviour towards his son and so his tone errs more on the side of dislike than friendly welcome.  
Being brutally honest, he's only tolerating Ash for the sake of Clay's health, and only because he has respect for the fact that he was in the teams, a high calibre SEAL and at the end of the day despite bravos dislike, he is Clay's father!

"How's he doin'?"

The doctor watches them both, the atmosphere so thick you can almost touch it "Physically he'll be okay, mentally... "he sighs "...he's taken a big hit! We'll reassess him when the drugs are out of his system. Trent did everything that was needed and kept it all under control which is good for going forward with recovery. He was lucky you all got to him when you did. Minutes either way and he wouldn't have made it."

Ash looks through the window at Clay, slightly alarmed by his appearance. He takes a shock intake of breath that the Doctor notices "Oh, the oxygen mask, that's purely there as a precaution, just till the drugs wear off. He keeps getting short periods of paranoia, which is to be expected, and it throws his breathing out, so as I say just precautionary."

"And his arm?" Ash frowns seeing the large dressing and bandage.

"Yeah, that's good. It was a clean wound so we've stitched it and it should make a full recovery, with minimal or no damage to the muscle. His hand, the burn, that's slightly more concerning. We're gonna assess that more in a few days. See how well it heals and check for any lasting damage to the nerves in his fingers. It was a deep layer burn, so it will depend how it scars as to how much movement and feeling he will get back!"

Ash whips round from watching Clay through the glass to looking at Trent. Trent nods he knows exactly what Ash is thinking.  
"So, do we know if it's going affect his weapons handling. I mean if he can't get full feeling back he won't be able to hold a weapon. He's a sniper, if he can't... Oh my god it'll crush him!"

Trent shrugs "They don't have any idea yet. Like the doctor says, they need to reassess. I spoke to Blackburn they're sending a military specialist to look at him"

"Can't we get him back to Virginia Beach, to the Naval hospital, so they can treat him?"

The doctor shakes his head "Not at the moment the umm... sheriff's department have asked for him not to be transferred until they conclude their investigation. I have no medical reason to transfer him, is doing just fine here."

Ash and Trent stand watching him through the window "Does he know about his hand or anything else that went on?"

Trent shakes his head "If he does, he's not saying anything, or at least not to me or the doctor. Ash, he's not in good place right now, so you need to be careful what you say to him!"

Ash sighs wondering if he should have just let Jason come, this all seems so complicated now. _How the hell am I going to know what to say that won't upset him?_ "Does he know about Ann Marie yet, that she's dead?"

The doctor frowns "err mm ...no we haven't discussed that with him yet but, well I didn't know she was dead. I thought they weren't sure if she went in the lake or not?" He frowns at Ash wondering if he knows more than he does  
"Sorry I knew Ann Marie. Well actually, her father. Really, nice man, generous. When he's stayed at the cabin, my wife and I have had dinner with them a few times" he smiles at Trent  
"This whole thing with Clay, I've got to say has shaken me. She just doesn't seem capable of that level of violence. Makes me wonder if she'd taken some drugs too. That maybe they both didn't realise the effects. Because this just seems so out of character from the woman I've met. I mean she's such a petite, sweet little thing, from what I remember. My wife liked her no end. It was so tragic what happened to their family, losing her brother then her mother ending her life that way"  
He sighs "But I guess you know her better than me?"

Ash stares at him this shocked look on his face wondering what the doctor knows. Had Trent, or Clay told him about what went on with him and Ann Marie?

"I meant her being Clay's girlfriend, you must have got to know her?"

"Oh, I don't really know her, I only met her a couple of times!" he swallows hard as the lie he's now telling gets stuck in his throat almost choking him. It's late, or early morning, he doesn't know but it doesn't feel like it's the right time to get into the heavy details.

Trent catches his gaze and for the first time there's a real disappointed look of disgust in Trent's face, one that says _You are a one hell of a liar!_

Ash swallows and looks away. Looking back through the window to watch Clay, who's lying on his side, facing away, just staring at the blank wall opposite.

"Do you want to go in, Mr Spenser?" the doctor smiles cautiously.

Ash wrestles with his conscience, does he want to go in or not? If he's honest, not really!  
"Is he asleep? I don't want to wake him."

"No, he hasn't been asleep much, still a little wired from the drugs. He's very vague at times, so you might not get much talking from him. Please, just go in. You never know you might get through to him where the rest of us haven't been able!"  
The doctor frowns as Trent coughs and snorts a laugh as he tries imagining Clay actually taking to Ash.

Ash sighs _Maybe I should have let Jason, or even Sonny do this! _He swallows hard the reality is that he's here now and he can't turn around and walk away. But that's what he wants to do! but what then?  
Say he just turns and heads back, what the hell would Jason do? Knowing he didn't even have the courage to talk to his son, after everything he did! He'd have to take even more of their hate if he did that.  
_No! _He takes a deep breath. _He has to do this! _But then just as he puts his hand to push the door the doctor stops him.

"Oh, umm...Mr Spenser, sorry, this is a bit awkward given the circumstances but, I just wondered if you might stop by my office on the way out. I err mm ..." he coughs " I have a copy of your book and thought you might be able to sign it for me?" he smiles "It's a great book by the way!"

Ash smiles to be honest the request relieves some of his tension "Umm... yeah sure! Not a problem. I'm glad you liked it; I have another one out very soon!" he smiles but it drops away quickly when he sees the scathing look on Trent's face.__

_Not the time or the place for book PR! _Trent sighs. It's deep and loud and pissed off enough that Ash registers it. _For God sake his son's in a hospital bed and he thinks he's some sort of celebrity signing autographs!_  
Trent doesn't make eye contact, he can't because as cool and laid back as he is, he could so easily walk over there and punch Ash in the mouth right now. He's just so glad that it was him here and not Jason or Sonny! "Ash, just be careful what you say to him._ If _he talks to you!"

"Well the Doctor said I could go in! So, he must be kind of okay?"

"Yeah sure, even I can go in, doesn't mean he'll speak to me! But you can try!"

o-o-o-o-o-o

Ash takes a breath and pushes the door. As his deep breath fills his lungs he wants to turn around and walk away._ I mean what am I going to say that won't upset him? What could we talk about now, the weather?  
_Ash debates with himself. How about just saying _Hey how are you_? and then just turning around and walking away. But as he reasoned before he can't and anyway, he needs to know for himself where Clay is at. Hell, there was going to be hundreds of questions from Sonny, so he needed some answers at least.  
"Hey son!" he pauses gauging Clay's reaction to him "How are you doin' ? "

Clay turns around to face him then quickly turns his head away again, not saying a word.

"Ummm...the doctor I just spoke to said you're doing really well! That you just have to wait for the drugs to leave your body, then you can get out of here! That's good, right?"

Clay takes a deep breath still not answering. Deep inside Ash is already causing a stir of emotions and he just wants him to leave.  
He doesn't want to speak to anyone and more so, he doesn't want anyone seeing him like this.

Ash looks at him laid there the standard pattern hospital gown, too short because of Clay's build. He looks cleaned up now, they must have washed him. His hair a fluffy mess of curls, clean but could probably do with a cut.  
His wounded arm bandaged tight around his bicep and his hand protected in another clean, neat mitten style, wadded bandage.  
Each arm has a line of drips and antibiotic cannula's with tubes coming out.

Ash sighs as he sees the bag of yellow urine hanging on the side of the hospital bed. He looks up, their eyes catch each others gaze. Clay knowing that he's noticed it and the tube protruding from the hem of the gown.  
Clay sighs covering his embarrassment. He can feel the ache in his groin that gripes every time he moves. It reminds him of the catheter they fitted. _Just so you don't have to get up!_ _Until you're steady on your feet!_ The nurse told him, apologetically, while she did it just after he arrived. _We'll reassess, the need for it, in the morning!  
_  
He hoped to god when morning came they'd remove it. But he'd had to console himself with the fact that at least this meant he wouldn't have any more _accidents. _Not only the ones he'd had when taped and bound to the chair in the bathroom, but the one he'd had to endure on the way to hospital. The wet through sweatpants as he lay in the back of Jason's truck, just after Trent resuscitated him at the roadside_._  
It happens Clay, involuntary response. Don't worry Trent reassured him. Still didn't make him feel any less embarrassed.

All of this had been humiliating and all he wanted to do now was to get out of here, go home to his apartment, close the door and curl up in his bed by himself. No more questions, no more prodding and certainly no more Ash! "Go away Ash! Just leave me alone!"

"Son please!" Ash looks him over, not knowing how to look at him, the gown hardly covering anything making him feel awkward standing there watching Clay. Him looking so vulnerable and small in the bed. "Clay, we need to talk!"

Clay sighs and laughs him away, it's an effort and it's an acknowledgement more than Ash deserves "Talk? You wanna talk .. about what?"

"About what happened to you!"

Clay closes his eyes shutting everything out. Taking a deep breath "Nothing!... Nothing happened to me! I don't want to talk about it! Not with anyone and especially not with you!"

"Please Clay... I know! I know, how you feel. I know what it's like. I know you feel embarrassed, humiliated, weak. Just let me help you!"

Clay laughs well it's almost more a cry. Hearing his father saying he's weak and embarrassed it's like he's saying he should be ashamed of what's happened. When all clay really feels is hurt.

His body aches, his mind aches and he hates that people keep doing things to him he has no say in. "You don't know how I feel. so, leave me alone!"  
He turns his head back to face the wall he can't look at Ash because all he can see is Ash staring at all the tubes, looking at all the medical devices. He doesn't see Clay, the person, his son.  
No, he sees some weak victim being treated in a hospital bed and Clay knows that's what they all see. A pathetic weak man lying in a bed.

"Clay, I do know! I've been there...Yes, granted not to this degree! But I know what she did to you! I know how that hurts. How it makes you feel, as a man! Please son, let me help you"

Clay turns staring at him his eyes boring into Ash's soul, searching his face and his gestures for some look of love and not just pity. "You don't know how I feel! To have everything I wanted ripped away. A woman I loved and all the thoughts of the family we were going to be just gone! Ruined, because of you! "

Ash frowns "Clay this wasn't because of me, you can't think that! This was Ann Marie, she did this! Clay she had problems; she wasn't right in the head. She needed help. Son, she was _really _messed up! She had lot of pain going on and .. she needed help"

Clay just keeps staring at him not saying a word. It makes Ash uncomfortable and he wonders if he should leave. He feels awkward stood here all this hate Clay's putting on him for things that, as he sees it, really weren't his fault.

Clay swallows hard, his emotions building up. He really wants to cry but he won't because he won't give Ash the satisfaction of thinking he is even more weak  
"Did you love her? Or was it your ego, that a younger woman wanted to have sex with you?"

"Son!...Please don't do this, it wasn't like that! It was nothing!"

Clay laughs out loud. He takes deep breath tears welling in his eyes  
"Seriously, it was nothing? Great! So you did this to me, but it was nothing! She meant nothing. But you still had to sleep with her ... my girlfriend and you had to fuck her anyway. Why, would you do that?"

"Son, please! Clay..." Ash feels terrible looking at Clay's pitiful pleading, but angry eyes. He shrugs he can't really answer "I don't know and that's the truth!"

He's lost for words unable to explain his actions. "Yes!" he sighs "Yes, truth be told, I was in love with her and I don't know maybe it was ego as well! An attractive girl like her wanting to be with an older man like me! Yeah I gotta admit that was nice, it made me feel good! But ... it was her coming on to me not the other way around. I didn't go looking for it, she laid it in front of me and ...and I just couldn't say no! But this was nothing to do with you, I never thought about you when we had sex"

Clay gasps "Oh my god! You are unbelievable, you knew I was seeing her, that she was my girlfriend. We were sleeping together! For god sake she was having my baby! But you never thought about me? Get out! GET OUT OF HERE!"

"Clay calm down! Please, Son I didn't mean it like that! I didn't mean I didn't care of course I cared; I've always cared! I just... go the wrong way about things. What I meant was she was just sex ... there was never going to be anything more, even if she wanted it!"  
Ash curses himself now the more he speaks the bigger the hole he digs he just can't explain himself.

"You need to leave!... I don't wanna hear this! Just GET OUT! You disgust me!"

"Clay, Clay I'm sorry. Ann Marie and me it was complicated. She was messed up. She had so many problems!"

"Was?...You keep saying _was_ ! _Was,_ complicated!" he stares at Ash watching his expression "Has something happened? Oh my god... is she dead? She is isn't she. What happened?"

"Don't worry about that Clay, you don't need to know all that right now, I'm sure it ll all be explained in time. You need to rest, get some sleep. Get well so you can come home! Maybe you can come to mine and I'll look after you?"

Before Clay can answer his disgust at that idea, they both look towards the early morning light at the partially open window. There's a lot of noise from that direction, from the outside world.

"What's that, what's going on outside?" Clay asks confused by the noises as Ash looks out.  
He sighs as his heart drops just what he worried would happen! More TV crews and mobile units have started arriving outside the hospital "TV news crew!"

Clay frowns "TV crews! Why are they here?"

Ash sighs "Cos a man died in a car accident!"

"Sorry? What, I don't understand. Why would they be interested in that?"

Ash sighs again "Look, Ann Marie was involved in the accident before she went missing!"

"Is she dead?" Clay takes a breath wondering why he cares so much. Why something inside him hates the fact she might actually be dead "Why are the media interested?"

"I don't know if she's dead or not. She went missing after the cars crashed. Ray and Brock looked for her, but they think she fell in the lake, further down. There's search teams looking for her now!"

"So why all the media coverage? Oh my god!...Did you do this? Did you call them!"

"No!... well not exactly, but ..." Ash sighs " I did call the studio and my publicist to tell them where I was and some of what had happened! I'm guessing someone thought it might make a good story. Missing daughter of a plastic surgeon. Famous author and cable TV host involved! I don't know!"  
Ash runs his hands through is hair and lets out a large sigh"I didn't think at the time about it spiraling out of control!"

Clay laughs "Oh my god you really are some piece of work! You're turning this some publicity stunt for your new book aren't you?!... GET OUT! GET... The .. HELL .. OUT!"  
Clay's visibly upset now he can't move properly and his breathing becomes erratic. The drips and catheter tube hurt when he move, adding to his feeling of panic of being trapped.  
His chest tightens and Trent can see somethings wrong, acting quickly he comes in attaching the oxygen mask to his face.

"What the hell did you say to him!... Clay, calm down! You need to breath slowly, It's just a panic attack .. Clay, listen to me, calm! Slow. Let the oxygen do its work!"

"Clay listen to Trent. Calm down, because we need to talk! If they do get hold of this story it could blow up really quick! I'd rather the stuff that happened between us, with Ann Marie that it didn't come out! We need to present this as a tragic accident. Any other stuff coming out, about what she did, it's not going to do you any of us any good! Your names gonna be all over the media. You can see it Navy Seal gets attacked by his girlfriend. Click bait right there! Clay we need to talk this through get our stories straight"

Trent turns on him "Shut the fuck up! Can't you see what you're doing. You're upsetting him making his breathing bad What did I warn you! You know, I'm gonna get Jason, he can deal with you!"

"Yeah you do that! You kick this into a an even bigger shit storm than it's going to be already!"

Clay sits staring at him not saying a word. Utter hatred for Ash in his tear-filled eyes.  
He rips the oxygen mask off so he can speak even though he struggles to get his breath "You son of a bitch!" he laughs "More like asshole author sleeps with son's girlfriend ...gets her pregnant makes her have an abortion! Yeah that won't look so good for you either!" he gasps for his breath

"Oh god! Awww!" He moves too quickly and the catheter tube pulls "Ahhh god!" he can feel the warm liquid flood on to his gown "Oh shit!" The pain rips through him as it starts to leak Trent trying to do what he can to stem the flow and keep the tube fixed.

"Clay keep still you'll make it worse. I'll get the nurse"

Ash looks down at the floor. He can't disagree there are too many really bad headlines that could come out of this. But right now he can see the pain Clay is in. The shortness of panicked breaths "Clay please stay calm. I'm sorry, I didn't mean for any of this!"

"GET the hell out!" Clay's breathing starts to quicken, his head starts to spin.

The nurse enters the room "Come on Clay, calm down. I'm going to sort his for you make you more comfortable again!" Clay pulls at the gown covering himself "Clay please, I need to look see what's happened and put it right!"

Trent looks at him "Clay let her do this! Please let's get you out of this pain! Everything will be alright!"

Clay just lays there as Trent puts the oxygen mask back on his face. He turns his head away because he can't look at anyone while the nurse examines him.

"Okay Clay" she goes round to face him to talk "I'm sorry but I'm going to have to change this tube, the last thing we need is you getting an infection. I'll re do it, then we'll get you washed and clean and I'll put some cream on these flesh wounds as well!" she indicates to the bites on Clay's neck that look sore.

She sits him forward pulling at the now wet gown, threading the drip bag through the hole in the sleeve and uncovering his chest. Clay takes a deep breathing holding the fabric to his skin before she's able to uncover him any further.  
He looks away a flush of embarrassment fills his cheeks as she looks round at Ash watching him "Oh sorry did you want them to leave, or are you comfortable with them being here?"

Clay closes he eyes. He doesn't want any of them here. He doesn't want her touching him, but he knows he'll have to endure that, but he doesn't want Ash looking at him, watching. He wants him gone!

The nurse registers the hurt and awkwardness in his eyes " Okay, understandable, I know it's not pleasant but it has to be done! You're going to be very uncomfortable if I don't and it's temporary, just until you're back on your feet!"  
She smiles trying to reassure him. Understanding how a man must feel with her about to do what she has to do. She looks round at Ash " Mr Spenser, if you wouldn't mind giving your son some privacy!"

He smiles at as he nods in response "Sure! Clay I'm so sorry. Look we'll talk later!"  
He's at the door as he turns the nurse has him uncovered and is starting to pull at the tube.  
Ash looks away, then stopping in the doorway, awkwardly tapping the wooden frame "We'll talk more later but Clay, just be careful what you say to anyone, the media could turn this into a circus!"

Trent growls his displeasure now and he pushes Ash out of the door. "Get the hell out!"

As they leave Clay lays back in the pillows closing his eyes, so he doesn't have to look at the nurse. So he can block out what's happening to him.  
It feels so uncomfortable as she tugs on the tube in fact her pulling it out is just as uncomfortably painful as when she inserted it  
"You know, I'm sure I can get to my feet now!" he desperately begs in the hope he can persuade her not to reinsert another tube.

"I'm sorry but the Doctor still feels it's for the best. They don't want you moving around until they get the results of your drugs test back."

He swallows hard. His body aches and all these, even small interventions, make him dizzy with pain. They're not even giving him any pain relief now as they want to cleanse his system.

He has the shakes and tremors from the withdrawals but then all the fluid they're running through in the drips, flushing his system, means he would have to pee more, means more risk of him having to keep getting up, more risk of getting dizzy.

He sucks in air as she takes the new sterile tube from the packet. "Oh god!" he closes his eyes as she takes the end carefully re inserting the new tube. "Awww!" he grits his teeth as the aching, burning pain works its way up his groin to this stomach muscles. His body fighting against the invasion.

"Clay try to relax. It'll be easier on you if you're less tense!"

Why can't people just leave his body alone and let him rest.  
"Arrrgghh!" he can't hold out from making any sounds completely but mainly he cries inside his head.

He flinches against the warm pain. He feels like he's going to wet himself again, such is the rush of feeling inside his bladder with the tube prodding at it. He knows he won't that's what the tube is for but it's an awful feeling.  
As he tightens his muscles against it she can feel his tension "Sorry I am trying to be as quick as I can. I know it's uncomfortable, but it will help you! Just concentrate on breathing through it!"

Clay nods as he feels her insert the tube further the pushing against his insides. As he does open his eyes for a moment he can see Trent at the window, smiling trying to reassure him.  
The nurse has her back to the window so though Trent can't actually see anything he knows what she's doing and so he turns away, giving Clay some privacy while she finishes the procedure.

"There all done! Now let's get you cleaned up!" She takes the gown away leaving him exposed on the bed as she leaves the room "I'll be back in a moment, just get you a clean one!"

He feels uncomfortable and his groin aches so much, but he pulls, what he can, of the sheet around trying to cover himself.  
He lays back in his pillow closing his eyes tight shut, as he does it forces the tears he'd been holding back to uncontrollably roll down his cheeks.


	32. Chapter 32

** Chapter 32: We need to talk to him! **

"Clay! ...Clay, are you awake?" he stirs in the bed coming around to the clicking of fingers "Shhh.. shh! It's okay!"

He opens his eyes and blinks as the light finds a way into his head and he can see a dark-haired woman leaning over him. He scrabbles back into this pillow pushing himself away from the stranger that's up close checking his pupils  
"Clay. Are you okay?" She frowns concerned as she watches him "Where were you? You spaced out, do you remember what you were thinking about?"  
He shakes his head vaguely "It's okay" she smiles. He notices has friendly, kind and patient her smiles is and it makes him relax "Do you wanna sit up?"

"Err mmm ..." he takes a breath feeling rather confused "Yeah, ummm..." he looks around getting his bearings "What time is it?"

"Just after one ... you're okay though. Do you know where you are?"

"Umm ...yeah, I'm fine!" he frowns as he sees the trolley with packets and tubes on it  
Oh no not again! His heart sinks for a moment.

"Do, you want some water?" she takes the jug from the night stand and pours a glass "Slowly let yourself come round."

"Hmmm..." he sighs "Yeah sure!" he frowns with a scowl. He's annoyed at having been disturbed from his thoughts, even if now, he can't remember what it was he was thinking about.  
He feels a little disorientated but as the disinfected smell of the room filters through his nostrils he's soon back in the reality of the hospital bed.

"_Yeah sure!_ " she frowns "So, what's with the attitude?"

He looks at the trolley again "Nothing!"

"Oh nothing, okay... and I thought I was coming with good news!"

"You were?" he frowns at her as she smiles "Such as what?"

"Like ...you can have that tube out now! The Doctor got your bloods back and your levels are nearly clear, so I just have to do a quick urine test and then hopefully if that's all clear we'll get you up on your feet and a shower?" she smiles her hand resting on his shoulder.

"There was another nurse?!"

"Maria ...What, you want to wait? She won't be back in for another few hours. You don't want me to get it done now?"

"Oh, no... I meant... " he's confused he doesn't know what he means or why he's asking "I just wondered where she went that's all!"

"Unfortunately, even nurses need to sleep" she laughs

He smiles back for about the first time, as he lets out a breath of relief. "So you okay to get this done then?" she takes the glass of water from his hand.

He smiles apprehensively at her "What's your name?"

"Me?... I'm Jenna"

"I'm Clay!"

"Yes, I know" she smiles at him " I can read your chart" she jokes and he laughs as he relaxes some more "You know, Trent filled me in on what happened to you!" Her face now fills with pity and he flinches in the bed adjusting his positions. She can see how awkward he is "Don't worry just means you don't need to go over it all" she smiles again.  
There's something about her smile that really puts Clay at ease "I'm just going to get some gloves, and then we'll do this, right?"

He nods and sighs.

She's so much nicer than Maria. Maria was rough. She didn't seem to care and she just did things without even asking. He's more relaxed now than he has been since he got here!

He looks towards the inner glass window and he can see Trent smile at him. He takes a deep breath and looks away. As much as he wants to speak to Trent he can't. He can't let them see him like this.

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Trent sighs he's really worried, he's never know Clay like this "How's he doing?"

She smiles as she looks at Trent and puts her hand on his arm "Seems a little brighter now he's had some sleep. The doctor said his toxs results came back almost clear. I'm now going to get that tube out and that should make him more comfortable, I'm sure"

"Look, do you mind if I get a coffee while you err mm... you know!"

"Yeah sure!" she nods "Why don't you use the orderly's room, just down there. The coffee's fresh, much better than the machine. Hey... why don't you bring him one back!" She points at Clay through the window as she watches him lying there, staring at the ceiling "Might be an opportunity to talk?"  
She smiles again, rubbing his arm.

She likes Trent, she likes his loyalty, his commitment and that he cares so much about Clay.

He's been here throughout the night since Clay was brought in. She found him asleep this morning when she started her shift. He looked so uncomfortable in the plastic chair, that he found somewhere, so he could sit outside Clay's room, on guard duty.

"Yeah I will" he smiles back at her thinking how patient and kind she's been "I might just check on the others as well!"

"Yeah that's a good idea! Maybe you get the Texan one... to stop pacing, I think he's going to wear the floor out!" she laughs

"Sonny!... Yeah I'll have a word." Trent smiles back. Sonny has badgered him non stop on text about how is Clay.

"And, maybe once we get him cleaned up, he can be persuaded to let them see him!"

Trent sighs a deep sigh from the pit of his stomach "I don't know, he was pretty adamant last night about no one seeing him" he shrugs and his face drops "He's stubborn at the best of times. I just don't know what the problem is"

"I know, it's hard" She smiles "He just needs time, if what you told me is right he's been through a rough ride but... new day, and hopefully he'll start to feel a bit better about things. We just have to be patient and positive."  
She frowns looking at Trent's downcast frown "Trent, he's going to be alright!" She smiles again but as much Trent hopes, he looks at Clay and he can see a different person. He's afraid of how broken Clay might be.

She can see the worry in Trent's eyes "Trent, get your coffee. Speak to the others, and in the meantime I'll get him sorted." She smiles hoping she's reassuring him. "You need to get some food as well" she calls behind him "You need to eat!"

Trent walks slowly down the corridor thinking how much he likes her. She's been so nice to him, much more than the other nurse, he wasn't as keen on her.  
She saw him as a hindrance, with his constant questions, his over the top worry and wanting to be kept up to date with everything. She didn't see why he needed to be there, but Jenna did. He smiles to himself_ I like her! _

Jenna had been an army nurse, well that's what she told him over coffee this morning when she started her shift. She understood his need to be there what made their brotherhood connection different.  
Trent liked she was kind; she smiled a lot and... pretty fire hot, in his opinion, and even though tiredness was creeping over this body she made him feel god made him smile.

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

"Alright then Mr Spenser, are you ready?"

He sighs and nods "As I can be!" his heart sinks at the thought of this as he pulls at gown up exposing himself.

She doesn't want to laugh but a smile creeps across her face "Urrm..." she closes her eyes and a small choking laugh comes out, she can't help it

"What?" Clay frowns wondering what she finds so amusing

"Sorry, just I really don't need to see it quite that obviously. We can be a little more discreet, save both our blushes!" she covers him back over.

"Oh!" he smiles "Just Maria she..."

"Yeah... Maria's a little heavy handed. Kind of a get it done type nurse. I know!" She pulls the trolley up beside "Just try to relax and it'll soon be over" she smiles at him.

He wishes she hadn't smiled so nicely because now he can see how pretty she is and that's not good, not with her sitting so close and about to handle him so intimately.  
His anxiety resurfaces and he starts to worry _Oh god! What if I can't control myself!  
_The thoughts start to invade his head space and he can't stop them making him more and more anxious. It's a vicious circle and he can't stop it _What if when she touches me, I ... _The panic races through Clay's mind how embarrassing that will be. Maybe Maria's rough and uncaring nature had its advantages _I mean I can deal with pain but this_! The thought of this was horrifying.

"You alright?" she can see the look in his face, the worry etching his forehead "It might be a bit uncomfortable but won't take a minute. I'll try and be gentle!"

_Oh god!_ He wishes she hadn't said that, not in that kind tone. _Stop looking at her Clay_ ! He tries desperately to focus on anything else in the room _Why did she have to be so nice!_ He closes his eyes _Just don't look at her it'll be fine! _  
His anxiety starts to take over and he wants to tell her to stop. Then he gets anxious that she'll want to know why! "Ohhhhh!" he grimaces and tenses his body.

She takes him gently in her hand leaving him partially covered by the gown, and as she starts to pull gently she hears him groan "You okay?" she looks at him, but he doesn't look at her.  
She can feel all his muscles twitch as he tries to counter any thoughts that might set his body off, keeping his eyes closed as the burning sensation goes up his body.  
It's uncomfortable but there's no pain this time, apart from the feeling he has like he needs to urgently pee "Oh ... uhhh!" he lets out a sigh

"Alright then, we're all done!" she smiles as he finally opens his eyes, watching as she clears all the things on the trolley

"Done?"

"Umm hmm!" she continues to smile as she covers him back over.

"But I didn't' even feel it!" his body muscles relax and he's relieved.

"Well that's how it should be ...I know it's not pleasant! Always worse going in" she smiles again "Right, let's get you cleaned up, then! Oh, ... Just to say it might take a while to realise if you need to _go_, so just watch for it! The shower room's through there, so you want some help to your feet?"

"Shower I thought..."

"You thought what? Oh, I see ...you like Maria's sponge bath then?" she laughs "Well, I think you're quite capable of getting on your feet. Your leg okay to stand?" she notices the scarring and remembers what Trent told her about his injury.

"Oh yeah I just..."

"You just what? You think I'm going to wash you?" she laughs again "Tough luck soldier, this one's on you!"

The door opens and Trent stands there holding two large paper cups "Ahh! look, there's Trent with coffee. Why don't you have that first and talk for a bit then I'll come back"

She looks at Trent, both of them hoping Clay will let him stay, though she can see him hesitate for a moment as his face blanks and he drops the semblance of a smile he had.

"I thought you said I could get a shower?"

"You can. There's plenty of time, you're not going anywhere yet" She looks at Trent, concerned by the fact he won't even be with his friend, even for a few moments "Tell you what, I'll just clear all this away" she indicates to the trolley and tubes "and then we'll get you showered. Have some coffee!"

She puts her hand on Trent's arm trying to reassure him. Trent knows she said they had to be patient but .. it's hard. Still it's a relief that he's in the room and if he won't talk to him, then he's glad Clay seems to be talking to Jenna.

"So how's it going?" Clay nods as Trent hands him the coffee but doesn't speak "You know ummm... Jason wants to talk to you, well and Sonny!"

"No! No, I don't want to see them, not like this!"

"Clay... " Trent frowns "Okay but ummm... you'd be doing us all a favor if you at least spoke to Sonny!" He laughs as Clay frowns at him confused "He's really stressing ...I actually thought he might kill someone, possibly Ash!" he laughs.

The joke falls flat as Clay retreats back into himself at the mention of Ash. As soon as Trent says his name he wishes he hadn't.

"You know what I don't want this coffee, I just want a shower and then get out of here!" he sits himself up quickly, too quickly, and gets dizzy "Wait Clay!...Just wait,let me help you"

"I don't need any help! Get off me!... I can manage!" Clay pulls away from Trent's grip just as Jenna arrives back at the doorway

"Clay! What do you think you're doing?" her tone is more stern with him now "Slowly, take your time, you can't rush things!"

Clay nods. His chest is tight there's this anxiety building deep in his stomach and he needs to get up "I'm okay, I just want out of here!" he's pulling at the bed covers trying to stand.

"Clay wait!" she takes hold of the drip stand as he pulls not thinking " Just wait, I said!"

"I'm good I just... ahhhh!" he sits down holding his head feeling light headed again. His arm aches and he sits staring at his bandaged hand. "Ahhhh!"

She can see the look of concern in his face "You in pain?" He nods at her "Just take a minute." She disconnects his drips " Then we'll get you in the shower. I'll see if you can have some pain relief for that arm!" she sighs. She feels so sorry for him "Trent do you want to give me a hand to get him up!"

"Sure!", Trent smiles

"I'm good. I can manage!"

Trent sighs and looks at Jenna. She lets out a loud sigh "Okay you do it!" and resignedly they watch as Clay cautiously staggers to his feet. His gown gaps as the back and she holds it closed but she doesn't fail to notice the way he flinches as her hand touches him, and she also notices the deep lines of red inflamed scratch marks on his back. "Keep going. You're doing great!"

He's unsteady on his feet, his previously injured leg is stiff and he still feels slightly light headed, though he makes a point not to say anything when his head clouds with dizziness and his legs shake.

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

They get to the shower room and she opens the door. As they stop in the doorway she's quick to notice how hesitant he is to enter "You okay?" she frowns listening to the deep breaths he's taking "Clay are you alright?"

Confusing him more there's a sudden rush of panic inside him that he wasn't expecting. He's unsure if it's the tiled room, the artificial light or the large lit mirror but suddenly as the shower room smell hits his senses and he's trapped again. _Come on Clay pull it together its just a shower! _ He digs deep inside as he holds the door frame _What the hell is wrong with me?_

The Doctor has warned him some of the side effects of the drug might be paranoia or panic attacks but surely by now, he thought, he should be coping better.

Jenna and Trent look at each other they know something's wrong but as Clay doesn't say anything they're not sure what  
"Clay... are you ready to do this?" She kindly asks and he nods. She gently takes his arm and as she does, she feels the tremble in his body. She's careful not to mention it and she grips him more reassuringly. "Do you want me to help you get undressed?"

"No!... No, I'm fine!" he holds the gown against him

"Would you maybe like Trent to stay?" she's concerned now

He shakes his head "I'm fine, I can manage!" He takes a breath, looking at himself in the mirror. It's like he doesn't recognise the person he can see standing there and he closes his eyes, holding the counter to steady himself. As he looks at his reflection he can see behind him there's a chair and then he hears an imaginary sound of it tipping over. Then there's a smell. A smell and he can taste it. "Phewww!" He breaths out.

She takes the plastic chair from the corner "You want to sit down?"

He stares at the chair and can feel himself start to sweat "No! No, I'll stand" he panics gripping the edge of the tiles as he continues to look at himself. He can see the sweat beading on his forehead as he feels hot and sick.

"Okay, well the water's warm!" she smiles "I'll ummm... let you sort yourself!"

He fumbles with the gown and can't undo it and starts panicking again "Relax, do you want me to help you? He shoots her a look he's unsure "Maybe if I just undo it you can take it off when you're ready!" she smiles but he doesn't relax.

He still looks concerned, he's really unsure but what can he do. _Come on pull it together!_ He keeps berating himself inside his head. As he stands there wondering what to do he notices that his groin aches. He can feel a burning, pressing, rush in his stomach. It's one he hasn't felt, not for a while, not while he had the tube inserted but now he's standing up he can feel it.

"Clay what's wrong?" she can see him searching for something looking around.

He puts his hand down holding himself "Oh god!" he closes his eyes embarrassed but the feeling is now intense and he's not going to be able to hold it "I need to pee!"

She smiles and looks away "It's fine!" she gently takes the gown from his shoulders down over his arm noticing him looking at the bandage "Just get in the water! Don't worry we'll re dress that. Just do what you need to do!" she sighs seeing the look of shame in his eyes.  
"Clay it's just side effects from the drugs, it'll wear off! It's just going to take a few days for things to get back to normal! Don't worry, I've seen a lot worse. Just shower. I'll be right,here in the corridor, just call if you need me!"

She peels the cotton gown from him, noticing how taut and tight his muscles are, but she also notices the scratches and bites. She looks him in the eye they both know what she's looking at. "I'm right here!" she touches his hand.

As she pulls the door behind her he calls out "Don't close it!"

She frowns for a moment "Okay!" she puts her foot in the door holding it ajar for him but closed enough to give him privacy.

He stands under the warm water an lets it rolls over his back as he allows himself to enjoy it. He's not exactly washing but the water is cleansing him and it feels nice.

Jenna and Trent stand in the corridor chatting as they wait.

"Is he okay?" Trent asks he's really concerned now.

She frowns her forehead "You know, I'm not sure ... it's like almost a PTSD anxiety. I don't know what happened to him, apart from what you were able to tell me, plus, I don't think the side effects are helping. He'll get there!" she smiles at Trent her hand on his arm again.

Trent puts his hand on her hand "Err mm .. would you like to get something to eat... when you finish I mean? I mean if you don't that's fine .. I just there's a roadhouse down the road Sonny said they do a great burger and, .. well if you don't..."

She smiles "I'd love to!"

"I mean, I'll understand... if you don..."

"Trent!... I said I'd love to!" she looks him in the eyes as he smiles back "Oh no!"

"Oh no?... What?"  
Trent turns around watching her face as he sees what she sees. The two detectives striding down the corridor towards them

"Nurse Jenna!" Roberts smiles "I hear he's up and about? Can we talk to him?"

Jenna checks the shower room she sees him standing under the water "No! He's showering and needs to get dressed and something to eat first!"

"Oh, come on Jenna, this is us. Let us talk to him!"

"I said no ... Maurice!" She addresses Malone "You need to give him some time he's been through a lot!"

He laughs "Right! So, he's sold you on this bullshit story, about being held hostage by his girlfriend?"

Roberts frowns at Malone's words and though he admits he has doubts himself he doesn't want those voiced in public. "I'm sorry Nurse Jenna but ... We _need_ to talk to him. As you'll appreciate, a girl has gone missing and we need to find her!"

"Well, Detective Roberts, you can wait! This is not going to happen right now!" she steps away from the door pushing them back and Trent stands behind her.

Monroe laughs "What you got a new guard dog?"  
He stares at Trent. He sniffs with attitude towards him. Looking at Trent's physique unsure if he should confront him "I wouldn't bother she's kinda fussy, that's why she's on her own. Wouldn't surprise me if she's more into women the amount of men she turns down!"  
He and Roberts both laugh. They know just how many times Malone has tried to ask her out and she's turned him down every time. It makes Malone very sour every time he has to deal with her.

She shakes her head "Maurice Malone, the only guy I've turned down is you! And that's because you are an asshole! Now, ...you need to leave! Shall I remind you this area is for patients and staff only!"

"Well he's not patient!" he looks and points at Trent.

"No, he's medical staff!"

"Medical staff? No, he's not!"

"Well I said he is! I also said you need to leave, until I tell you you're welcome!"

Roberts is frustrated and he takes a deep sigh "How long is he going to be?" he looks at his watch "Because,I'm sorry but we _need _to talk with him, it's a matter of urgency, now he's feeling better!"

"What do you want? To do your interview with him in the shower?" she shakes her head "You need to give the man some space!"

There's a sudden clash of doors as Jason and Ash are in the corridor "Can we speak with Clay! We need to talk to him before they do!" Ash asks her

"NO!" she puts her hand up "None of you are speaking with him until he's dried and dressed and I say so! Did I not make myself clear!"

"And you .." she pushes Ash back "... after the way I've heard you've behaved, you need to stay well away!"

Trent snigger as she prods Ash in the chest and she stares at him eye to eye.

A clatter from the shower room makes them all turn around "Oh shit!" She forgot for a moment that she'd left Clay.

She rushes back "Clay!... You okay?" she calls but gets no answer. She cautiously opens the door and as she does she doesn't see him standing where she left him.

As her eyes survey the small space of the room she makes him out, crouched and cowering on the floor, under the spray of the water.  
He has his hands on his head, his knees pulled up to chest and faintly over the running whoosh the still running shower she can hear what sounds like him crying.  
She takes a shocked and concerned breath as she turns the water off "Oh Clay! I'm so sorry!"


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33: I want to go home **

"Clay, Clay are you okay?" she gulps at the panic stricken look on his face. "I'm coming in, alright, just be calm!"

She leans in and turns the water off, grabbing one of the towels she laid on the chair. All she can see is a naked bundle of Clay crouched on the floor.  
She takes a deep breath "Clay..." she swallows hard, her heart beating fast as she tries to quickly triage the situation "Are you alright? What happened?"

"I don't know. I .. I..." he drops his head not looking at her" I just heard the door close, then my head went blank. I don't remember!"

She can see him panicking "It's okay, just take slow breaths!" she searches around him "Did you hurt yourself?"

He holds his hand, it hurts and aches as the sting of the water seeps into the bandage "No!" he shakes his head

"Okay let's get you up, and dry you!"

He shakes his head "No!"

"Clay you're going to get cold, and I need to change those wet bandages!"

"I can't be like this . I don't want to be like this!" he looks up at her, his eyes sad and glazed over "Jenna what's happening to me?"

She can hear him sucking back his tears "It's okay! Clay, you're going to be fine. You just need some time. You've had a lot going on, with the drugs, the abuse..."

"NO!" He looks at her shocked, stopping her before she can continue "No!..That's not what happened the abu... No! That didn't happen to me! I .. I..."

"It's okay! Clay, you don't have to explain, not right now, just calm down!"  
She gets hold of him but it's difficult for her to help him up. He's well-built and with the water she can't lift him "Can you stand up?"

He won't move. "I'll get a towel" The one she had in her hand is wet from where she dropped it on the floor trying to lift him "Stay right where you are!"

She goes to the doorway, the other clean towels on the chair, then she opens the door and calls "Trent! Can you give me a hand please, I can't get him up!" Sonny, Jason and Ash all step forward "Ahhh!...No, sorry just Trent!"

"We need to get him up!" she frowns as Trent steps in the door. He's shocked when he sees the small figure of Clay heaped on the floor by the wall. Jenna touches his shoulder "He's okay, we just need to get him up and dry."

"Okay, what do you want me to do?"

"If you lift him, I'll wrap the towel round him" she pulls the chair out "Then sit him here!"

Trent get in the shower stall with him "Come on Brother, let's get you up!"

Clay shakes his head resisting Trent's help and Jenna calls to him "Clay, please! Let Trent help you. I can't lift you. You need to let us get you dry; I need to look at your hand!"

Even though he still resists the help Trent lifts, and in one easy movement has him on his feet.

Jenna wraps the first towel round his waist covering him and the second one round his shoulders. The towel is a little small due to the size of Clay's muscles and she smiles. Trent sees her trying to make it fit and it makes him smile as and they exchange glances "He works out!" she feels Trent's arm "Looks like you all do!"

He smiles back and though it's not obvious Trent blushes "Come on Clay, let's get you sorted, man!"

They sit him on the chair and Jenna checks him over but there are thankfully no more injuries "Clay, did you faint?"

"No, I don't think so" he shakes his head "I just ... the door. What's that smell?"

"I can't smell anything!" she frowns " But it's good you didn't faint!" though she definitely thinks he blacked out " I thought for a moment we I might have to get Maria back with her tube!" she smiles as something in the humor makes Clay laugh, and Trent looks at her, he smiles appreciative of her effort to help him. "Hold on a minute!" she looks at Trent "Let me just clear the corridor first!"

She's out into the white light of the bright corridor taking a moment as she rubs her head. It's damp with sweat from the steam and her efforts with Clay in the shower room "Right you all need to get OUT!"

Trent hears her shout at the guys in the corridor. She's authoritative without being nasty but she does expect what she asks to be done "The waiting room is that way gentlemen! Now please, move!"

Roberts interrupts, standing in front of her making demands now "I need to speak with him!"

"And you will! When, _I _say he's ready! But for now, he's not so... OUT!"  
She points motioning to the double swing doors. The tone she uses, and the stern look means no one feels like arguing with her and without another word they slouch off to the waiting area.

Her and Trent carefully walk Clay back to his room. He gets up on the bed "Let's take this wet towel off you!"  
She pulls it away, leaving him feeling exposed until she covers the bed sheet over his lap "I'll get you a clean gown in just a moment!"

She looks up her eyes meet with the doctor stood in the doorway "Everything alright?" he asks concerned "How did the shower go? Was he okay or you think he needs more bed rest?"

Clay looks up at her he assumes bed rest means not letting him out of bed and he frowns at Jenna. She's in dilemma now, tell the truth and have him confined to bed for another day or "Everything went fine, he's just a bit tired. Needs some quiet, but he'll be fine!"

She sighs as she looks at Trent, she knows it won't do Clay any good being strapped back in the bed hooked up to tubes and drips. She sighs hoping that's she's made the right call.

The doctor leaves and Clay lifts his forlorn eyes to her, thanking her.

"Yeah well just don't go fainting on me now or I will be in trouble!" She gives him one of those special smiles and he leans back into the pillow relaxing a bit. Despite everything that's just gone on having had the shower he feels so much better.

She turns to the doorway as she hears the sound of someone coughing.  
_Detective Roberts, great!_

He has an unmistakable, raspy, smokers cough and as he standings there, watching them, she watches him putting another nicotine gum in his mouth. Being stuck in the hospital means he hasn't been able to have a cigarette and he can feel the cravings starting to niggle at him.

Malone stands just behind him, he's taller and skinny and he towers over the chubby more rounded Roberts.

"I told you a few moments ago he's not ready for questions!"

"Jenna, I'm sorry, I don't care, ready or not, we've waited long enough. We _need _to speak with him, it's vital now!"

"I told you... "

"And I've spoken with Doctor Lloyd! He says it's fine to talk to him, so, if you don't mind we'll get on with it!"

"What's going on?"  
Clay lays there naked except for the sheet that Jenna covered him with and Malone and Roberts can't do anything but stare.

Malone stands up straight, taking a breath, pulling his stomach in and puffing his scrawny chest out, as he can't help but notice how toned and muscular Clay is. He also can't help but see the bite marks on this body, and he frowns as he stares at them long and hard. _What the fu...!_

Clay feels awkward. He can see the way they're looking at him. Jenna notices their inappropriate stares too. There's an awkward and uneasy vibe which makes Clay feel even more self conscious.

Jenna picks up on it "Can you just wait then, while I get him a gown, and I need to re bandage his hand!"

They feel just as awkward. Roberts averts his gaze and shuffles where he stands taking his packet of gum from his pocket and depositing another tab in his mouth "Yeah sure! We do need to get photographs of those injuries though"  
Clay looks up at him frowning wondering why and Roberts can see his reluctance "For the ongoing investigation"  
He chews his gum but as Jenna glares at him he awkwardly looks at Malone who still hasn't stopped staring at Clay's muscles wondering how much exercise these guys must do to look that way.  
"But we'll just wait outside!... Malone!" he nudges him, breaking his stare "Outside!"

"I'll be right back Clay .. just get you a gown!" she puts her hand on his arm "And I'll bring some clean bandages, we'll have a look at that hand!"

"Thanks!" he looks down at the damp bandage on his hand trying to remember exactly what happened to it.  
Having not seen the damage, as it's permanently had a dressing on it, the thoughts he hasn't had about how bad can it be are now entering his mind.  
His attention is suddenly distracted away from his hand when he hears a commotion outside the partially opened window.

He pushes himself up off the bed, pulling what he can of the sheet around him covering himself as he staggers towards the glass.  
He flicks at the slats on the blind and looks out towards the numerous media and TV network vans parked on the grass.  
There are cameras, people with microphones, and cell phones taking pictures as people come and go at the front entrance.  
_  
What the hell?!_ he stares his forehead deep with frown lines as he makes out what looks like Ash leaving.  
The flashes and noise as his father crosses the pathway, Ash putting his hand up saying something, not that Clay can hear what it is. _What's he doing?_  
He sees him sign some autographs on books that women at the back of the fray are thrusting towards him _Son of bitch!_

Clay breaths deep he can't look, confused wondering what's going on. He feels like he's stuck in a soundproof bubble where he's missing out on what's happening in the world.

He searches around the room, he can't see his clothes or his cell. His chest tightens as he feels like he's trapped. His head goes dizzy with anxiety and the room blurs as he slumps sideways against the wall, hitting his wounded bicep against the cool hard of the wall.

An excruciating pain shoots through him "Arrrrrghhhh!" and he grabs a tight hold the top of his arm trying to deaden the sensation. It's almost like an electrical current that zaps through his muscles "Oh god!" but as he lets it go there's a release of pain and he relaxes _Hmmm!_

He closes his eyes, there's a weirdly nice feeling of first the intense pain then the release sensation as it subsides, it calms him, and he does it again. Grabs tight at his arm causing him to silently scream then lets it go so he gets the quick the rush of relief. He smiles. It's odd how good and in control, it makes him feel.

"Oh my god! Are you okay?" Jenna comes back and sees him slumped upright against the wall "Clay!...Let's get you sat down. What on earth were you thinking?"

"I'm fine I just .. I heard a noise"

"Hmmm!" she frowns "Yeah those vultures! I really don't know how they have the nerve! I mean it's a hospital for god sake! And I'm sorry but your father..." she sighs "... well! Sorry, I know its not for me to say, but.." she takes a breath "Lets sort this arm out!"

First she gets him covered with the cotton gown. Then she unwraps the bandage on his bicep. The muscle flexes to her touch and it makes her smile.  
She's not thinking about Clay but instead she's wondering if Trent's arms look like this. She felt his earlier and she's sure they do. The thought makes her tingle _Jenna!_ She scolds herself for those thoughts shaking Trent from her mind as she bathes and dries the, stitched wound on Clay's arm, noting that it looks clean with no infection. She's pleased about that.

"It might scar a little, but I think it's going to be good" she smiles but Clay doesn't look, he just continues to stare at the wall. "Okay then, let's look at this hand!"

He grimaces as she starts to unwrap the bandage. It's not so good, already she notices it has an odor and that means a possible infection and as it gets closer to the wound she notices how red and inflamed it still is. "Oh!" she frowns "This is not so good!" she's afraid it might have an infection "Can you move your fingers?"

He snaps round looking at her then at his hand. He's shocked by what he sees "Oh my god! What the hell happened?"

"It's a burn. Do you not remember how you did it?"

"I ... I .. " he rubs his head trying to think "Is it gonna be okay? I mean .. will I be able to use it?"

He looks at the bright red, sore, blistered patch on his fingers and palm. He just stares at it, as he tries to flex his fingers. It's hot to the touch and he grimaces, his fingers smart when he moves them.

"Clay, they're going to look at it. Hopefully it will be fine. It's a second degree burn and will need a few weeks to heal. I will get you some more antibiotics but let me put this dressing on for now!"

She turns around, she can make out Roberts and Malone hovering by the window, impatient to get in here and speak with Clay, now.  
She sighs "Clay, the Detectives need to speak to you are you going to be up to that?" She takes a breath "Do you want me to get someone to be with you? Trent?... Jason maybe?"

"No!" he takes a deeper calming breath still holding his hand out for her to dress it "No, I can cope by myself"

She frowns at him "Okay..." she's cautious in her reply as she places the gauze round the burn on his hand.

**o-o-o-o-o-o**

Roberts and Malone stand by his bedside.

"Clay..." Jenna is in the doorway, she smiles apprehensively now "I'll just be down the corridor, if you need me!"

Malone turns around following her out. He smiles thinking how cute she is.  
Roberts in turn smiles trying to think just how many times Malone has tried to ask her out and she's refused him. Must be at least every time they've had to visit the hospital on business which is a lot of times!

He puts another nicotine gum in his mouth. "She's a nice cute nurse to have! You're lucky Mr Spenser, or can I call you Clay? Malone here, he'd like to have her nurse him, ain't that right Maurice!"  
Malone nods in agreement odd fantasy thoughts running through his head _Oh yes definitely she can nurse me!  
_  
"So, _Clay_, I'm detective Roberts and this is Detective Malone, we're with the local sheriff's office and I'm guessing you know why we're here?"

Clay shakes his head "Not really .. I mean sort of .. no!"

"Well see, we need to talk to you about your relationship with Ann Marie Jenkins. Did they tell you she's missing?" Roberts frowns thinking how confused Clay looks "Mr Spenser, are you okay?"

"What happened, to Ann Marie?"

"We don't know yet. We're working on that! What I need to know is what your relationship was like! Word is she did ...this...these, things, to you?"

Clay sighs. He looks away "What do you want to know?"

Roberts smiles "You mind if I sit" he doesn't wait for an answer and pulls the chair up close beside Clay's bed. "So ummm... you're a fit guy. Work out, that sort of thing!"

Clay pulls the bed sheet up over his gown, he feels awkward at the compliments as Roberts chews on his gum. " But ummm...the Doctor, Doctor Evans, he said when you came in you were under the influence of drugs. To be specific, Fentanyl. You umm... you taken that before, or was this like a first time?"

Clay shakes his head and still doesn't make eye contact, he watches as Malone paces the room to the window, looking out at waiting media "They're like a pack of wolves out there!"  
He looks at Clay "Ready to make a meal of this story. Though, gotta say, I think your father is loving the attention!"  
He watches as Ash does another "no comment" speech to the waiting cameras.

Clay closes his eyes, his head wrestling with flash backs of the night that now appear in his head. He's remembering drinking the wine, then not much else. He also remembers pain as he looks at his hand. He begins to sweat. Hot and slightly panicked, he notices his mouth is dry "Could you get some water!" he looks at Roberts

"Sure thing!.. Malone, get the man a glass of water!" Roberts looks at Malone "You uncomfortable Mr Spenser?" he frowns "So tell me more about this drug! Is it something you thought maybe you'd experiment with? Did you both take it?"

Clay has some sips of water, he struggles with his bandaged hand and the anxiety shakes he now has "I'm sorry, I don't remember!"

"You don't remember?" Roberts looks at Malone "What taking it, or if she took some, which Mr Spenser?"

Clay takes a deep breath he can feel a panic in his chest and doesn't answer

"Mr Spenser!" he pauses looking at him waiting for an answer "Clay... you're not being very helpful here! I mean for a man that alleges he was attacked by his girlfriend or... according to your friends outside, worse! I mean they're saying she _abused_ you in some way. Is that what _you_ think?"

Clay closes his eyes and still doesn't answer.

"Clay, I can't help you if you won't answer me! I mean some people, they would say all this silence, it might mean something went on, something you don't wanna to tell us!"  
Roberts takes a deep breaths "Those marks look painful!"  
He stops talking to Clay and looks at his partner "Malone, we need to get some photographs of those injuries, just in case, Mr Spenser decides to pursue this allegation"

"Sir, you want me to take some?" he holds up his phone "Or you want me to get someone down here?"

Clay pulls his gown over his shoulder he wishes Jenna had tied it at the back now rather than just covering him over.

"So, err mm... you wanna tell us how they happened? I mean there's more than one, so, was it somethin' you let her do? I mean something you liked!"

Clay feels his cheeks flush with embarrassment "No. No not really!"

"Not really? But you did let her do it more than once?" he looks at Malone who smiles "Clay!" he tries to grab Clay's focus "What were you doing when she made these, _bite_, marks? I mean why didn't you stop her? _If_ you didn't really like it."

"I don't know, I don't remember"

"You don't remember that either! Well ... were you ummm... having sex?"

Clay closes his eyes his chest is tight, he doesn't like these questions. They make him anxious they make his thoughts cloud his head.

"I mean, I'm an open-minded kind of guy, and I hear people like that sort of thing... the pain and pleasure thing .. is that what happened? Did she bite you during sex?"

Clay nods

"And you let her?"

He shrugs "I guess!" Clay thinks back wondering why he didn't stop her, Why did he let her do that, but how could he stop her? He wonders now if perhaps he did like it!

"Okay, so let me get this straight, you didn't stop her... but you didn't like it! But I mean you're a fit guy, strong, you could have stopped a woman, a petite woman, like her surely? But you didn't! Perhaps ...maybe...because you enjoyed it? Look.." he smiles at Clay putting his hands up "... I'm not judging you here! I just find it hard to understand, that man who does what you do, as strong as you .. that he wasn't able to stop that happening if... he didn't like it?"

"It wasn't like that!"

"Okay! So tell me what it was like?"

Clay's silent "You know I feel tired! Can you get the nurse for me?"

"Sure, in a moment I have a few more questions!"

Clay moves around in the bed as best he can. His arm is aching now, his hand is sore, and he feels like he's going to need some pain relief soon. He fidgets as he can feel his bladder griping again in his stomach muscles as he concentrates on holding on. "Could you get the nurse please!"

"Mr Spenser, what happened to your hand?"

"I err mm... I think, I burnt it on the pan. We were making pancakes, but I don't really remember. I was drinking wine and then... then, I felt dizzy that's really all I do remember!"

"You were making pancakes and drinking wine? How much wine did you drink Mr Spenser? Did you take the drugs while you were drinking the wine? Is that how you burnt your hand? Were you drunk or the drugs and you didn't realise what you were doing, were you careless?"

"I don't know, I don't rem...!" Clay glazes over, he's concentrating hard as he feels the burning sensation between his will need to go soon. "Please will you get the nurse!"

"You want the nurse? Are these questions making you uncomfortable Mr Spenser?"  
Roberts goes to his pocket and takes a handkerchief out and wipes his nose, it's hot in the room and sweat is beading on his forehead "Clay, did you argue with Ms Jenkins while you were drinking? Did you fight?" Roberts stares at Clay "Clay,do you know what happened to Ann Marie?"

"Yeah ummm..."he's confused now "I think we argued... maybe. I don't remember"

"You don't remember? You don't remember much!" he bites his lip watching Clay's reactions "Was she angry with you, Clay? Did you do something... maybe upset her?"

Clay remembers back, he does remember her being angry, so angry, and her voice flashes in his head. He can hear her, and he looks round "Yeah! Yeah, she was angry!"

"Angry with you? What was she angry about? Had she been drinking?"

Clay thinks back he remembers that clearly she wanted sex and he couldn't  
I can't tell them that! I can't tell these two guys I couldn't do it with my girlfriend! But it wasn't like that!  
"I don't know I really can't remember!" he panics more, his breathing stalls and his chest is tight. His face flushes. "I don't know! I really don't know how much she drank so .."

"Then I put it to you that you perhaps passed out and burnt your hand? Was she pissed at you, left in a temper? You know what women can be like! Maybe... she'd had too much to drink and that caused her to crash her car?"

"I really...I don't remember! Can we stop this please, I need the nurse I don't feel well!"

"You don't feel well, what's wrong with you?"

"I just need the nurse!"

The detective sighs and looks around behind him "Malone go get the nurse. Mr Spenser do you want to pursue a charge against Ms Jenkins for assault?"

Clay puts his head down and closes his eyes wondering why he feels so ashamed. He just wants these questions to stop. _Come on Clay your trained for this what's wrong with you? _  
He questions himself as he begs for them to leave him alone. He's so confused but he does know he needs to pee soon.

Malone comes back in the room "The other nurse is going to get her"

"Mr Spenser did you hear me?"

Clay keeps his eyes shut and grips on the top of his arm its hurting badly and he squeezes it hard weirdly causing more pain but once again when he lets it go it feels like a pleasant release.  
He slowly shakes his head "I need the nurse!" Clay screws his face up tight "I need you to leave!"

"Mr Spenser I have a few more questions!"

"NO!" Clay sadly shakes his head "No, please just go!"

"So, you don't want to pursue a charge, is that what you're saying? I mean if she did all these things then? Clay, did you tell anyone about what was happening?"

Clay rubs his head. He's confused "Please just go!" he is on the verge of tears

Roberts can now see a blank glazed look in Clay's face like he's not really in the room. A vacant look like he's concentrating on something "Are you alright, Mr Spenser"

They're interrupted by Malone's cell phone which he answers. "Malone..." he turns around watching as Jenna comes to the room!

"What's going on?" She sees the forlorn look on Clay's face "What did you do?"  
She looks at Roberts a worried frown on her face as she looks at Clay "Are you alright?"

He shakes his head as he grips at the sheet and she can now see what's happened, and so can Malone. He puts his hand over his phone "Err chief... I think we need to go!"

Roberts looks at him "I have a few more questions..." he trails off as Malone nudges him raising his eyebrows awkwardly as they can all now see the yellow colored stain on the sheets

"Oh, right ummm... look, we'll leave you!" he looks at Jenna. She sighs so annoyed with them "We'll come back later. Mr Spenser..."  
He looks at Clay unsure what to say for the first time he's starting to feel sorry for him "I'm sorry!" Malone and Roberts exchange more glances as no one moves. Malone still quietly listening to the person on his cell.

Jenna sighs "Get out!" She looks at Malone who's putting his phone away "Did you hear me... get out, now! Don't stand there with that look on your face!"

"Chief that was Sanderson, somethings happened! We need to go!" Malone suddenly looks all serious. Roberts frown and nudges him indicting outside the room.

Clay puts his head down. Jenna sighs "Clay, don't worry I told you, it's just a side effect of the drugs. They should have got me sooner" She smiles as Clay closes his eyes "Let's get you cleaned up!"

"Hey Poster boy!"  
They both look up startled as Sonny puts his head round the door "The Doctor said I could come see you ... " He stops mid-sentence as Clay look away. Jenna sighs and puts her hand on Clay's shoulder comforting him. Sonny feels awkward unsure what to say or do but he can sense Clay's upset by something "What the hell's going on?"

Jenna smiles at him "It's alright, it's nothing. We're sorting it. Can you come back in a while, we need a little privacy!"

Clay opens his eyes suddenly looking at Sonny, calling him back "No wait!"  
He takes a deep breath looking at Jenna, then at Sonny "I need your help Sonny, I need to get out of this place. Can you get me some clothes. I wanna go home!"

Jenna looks at him frowning "Clay you can't, you're not ready. The doctor still needs to check somethings, your hand for one, you need some ..."

He cuts her off mid-sentence "I'm fine, alright! I just need..." his chest is tight as his anxiety takes a grip of him again "... I need to get out of here! Sonny will you help me?"

"You sure about this?" Sonny's stuck for words torn between the look on Jenna's face, her shaking her head, saying its not a good idea and the look from Clay begging for help but eventually he, reluctantly, nods "Yeah, yeah sure brother!...Clothes? I'll be right back!"

Clay nods "Sonny thanks!" he lets out a deep certain sigh of relief. Imagining being home in his apartment in his own bed, away from all this.

Jenna shakes her head "I need to speak to Trent! Clay you can't just discharge yourself like this!"

Clay grabs her hand "I need to get out of here! I can't be like this." His face drops and his eyes dull with sadness. All he can think is he can't answer any more questions and wants out.

She sighs it's deep and reluctant, but she does understand "Alright! If that's what you want, I'll make arrangements. But Clay please don't be so hard on yourself, what you went through.." She looks at him the understanding and pity she feels she just wanted to help him get through this. She places her hand reassuringly on top of his and squeezes it tight " I do understand though!"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Roberts and Malone pass Trent in the corridor. Malone glares at him. He's noticed the way Jenna looks at him, the small soft touches, the smiles, the laughs they share, and he grumbles under his breath _Who the fuck does he think he is!_

They stop walking and stand watching as Trent disappears at the end of the corridor. Thoughts about Clay and the scene they just left are playing over in Roberts head, the curiosity inside him questioning things "Poor bastard, imagine ending up like that! "

Malone shakes his head, he sighs unable to comprehend what he witnessed "Makes you wonder why people mess around with drugs in the first place, thought, I mean if it's going to do that to you!"

Roberts frowns he's more lost in his thoughts, something concerns him about Clay's situation " I don't know what happened to him, but somethings not right for sure!"  
He takes a deep breath still staring towards the end of the corridor "So...what did Sanderson want?" he looks at Malone "What's so important?"

Malone looks up and down the corridor "Chief, He said they've pulled a body out of the lake!"


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34: How the hell did I not see

Notes:

**A quick short scene link Chapter to keep your interest while I edit the next part :)**  
**I hope you're enjoying this? I have a plan where I want this to go but what are you hoping for with the rest of the story? Do you want it quickly resolved or happy to play out?  
**

"Oh god!" Jason rubs his face with hands as he drops from the edge of the bed where he was sitting to lying flat on his back against the hard lumpiness of the cheap motel mattress. He's contemplating taking a shower, but right now, tiredness and the decision dilemmas swimming around in his brain are over taking his ability to get up.

He sighs thinking about his decisions._ Was I right to let Sonny and Trent take Clay home? The kid was desperate to go and though that nurse agreed I could see she was apprehensive!_ His brain turns the decision over and over until his head aches.

_Those two detectives are complete assholes!_  
He wasn't sure what was going on, but Roberts had told Ray and Brock not to go anywhere, that they'd possibly have more questions for them and Jason sensed Ray was particularly unhappy about it because there was something to the tone of their insinuations and the way they twisted words, and yeah sure they all understood that they needed to be impartial, and in some ways they could see the points they were making, but it still didn't mean they had to like it.

Bravo knew what she'd done, what had happened, the truth, but to the outside world it wouldn't be so clear cut, and with Clay adamant he didn't want to pursue any charges, then what the hell else could they do?  
He sure wasn't gonna push the kid right now, and the Nurse, Jenna, had warned him to give it time,_ not to pressure him in his vulnerable state_.

_Vulnerable state! _  
It wasn't something Jason wanted to hear about one of his men, it made him want to go back with them, check he was okay, see if he could change his mind but he had to accept that he was in good hands with Trent and Sonny because he was needed here with Ray and Brock. Worried that the questions were leading in the direction of accusations.

Blackburn had offered to drive up and deal with the sheriffs, but he'd also told him for now, they were obliged to cooperate with any questions as this wasn't a military matter, but he was in conversation with Roberts and would step in if it became necessary.

The biggest problem they all had, and one of the main reasons he finally caved and let Clay leave, was the media!  
It was fast becoming a circus outside the hospital. The intensity of their relentless questions, which were being stoked in part by Ash, or as he'd tried to explain, his publicist. But even he admitted it had now gotten out of control and whilst Ash had said nothing to them with regards to his involvement, he did love hyping them up with his "_No comment at this stage_" line each time he felt it necessary to leave.  
In fact, he said it that often Sonny had threatened to "R_am those words down your throat if you say them one more god damn time!"_

Things were getting tense and fraught, so yes Jason concluded _Perhaps it was best to send the kid home!_

Jason sighed again for the umpteenth time, He had sighed that many times even he was fed up with sighing but somehow it relieved the stress in his head.  
Closing his eyes to the world as he laid on the bed, all he could hope was that perhaps when he woke the nightmare would all be gone.

In reality all that closing his eyes did was flash pictures of them getting Clay out of the bathroom, his injuries, the mess, those marks on his skin all those images were burned in his brain.  
"How the hell did I not see what was going on? For once Ash had tried to help Clay and I let him down. I didn't believe, didn't want to believe, this was happening! I mean a guy getting ... " he rubs his head blocking out his own thoughts. A girlfriend doing this it just didn't happen, well not in Jason's world!  
Sure, he knew couples had rows, things got thrown. Hell, slaps got given, he'd even seen the odd punch thrown in the heat of the moment but continual, sustained, _deliberate_ hurting? That was something he hadn't encountered.

Clay looked different when he left the hospital. The way the kid was, it shocked even Jason. Broken, small and not the normal cocky wise ass that he normally was.  
He was only glad the nurse took them out a back-service entrance, away from the glare and noise of the waiting media hounds. They'd have been ready to prey on him, waiting to eat his words and gestures.

Clay was sensitive. Jason knew that under all that bravado, that courage, that determination to succeed there as sensitive little boy who just wanted to be loved, wanted a family, needed a father, one that Ash, hadn't, and probably could never be.  
In some ways Jason tried to fulfill the role, firstly as team leader. Showing him the way because  
Jason could see, that one day, Clay would make a great team leader, well if he could learn to control his arrogance and get his cockiness in check and if he didn't let his need to prove himself override his decision making. Yes with time, Jason could teach him what it was to lead.

But it was when the kid sort counsel for his personal life that's when Jason stepped up, trying his best to father him, impart his wisdom, his age and experience. Be to Clay what he was to Mikey.  
It made him nervous advising any of his men on affairs of the heart. Never sure it was a good for him to interfere. Hell, it wasn't like he had the best track record in knowing what women wanted, but still Clay came to him often about Stella and he offered what he could.

He hadn't liked Stella nor had he worked out what she wanted. He knew she probably loved him but her issues with Clay's work, with his job, with the teams, that problem was never going to fix.  
She just wasn't cut out for living this life and Jason saw it. He tried, in his way, to make Clay see it, and so when Ann Marie came along, he thought, she was like a breath of fresh air. She seemed right for Clay, he was happy, she was happy and they all liked her. Sure he had concerns about her previous relationship with Ash, and now, now he wished he'd listened when he warned him what she was like.  
He sighs rubbing his forehead "Just why they hell didn't I see it!"

He closes his eyes for what feels like only seconds but is actually quite some time and he's rudely awoken by the loud knock on the door that makes him sit forward with a start  
"Yeah coming!"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Brock's passed out on his motel bed.  
He came back from the hospital to sort out Cerb, but Jason had called and told him not to return to the hospital. That he'd sent Clay back home with Trent and Sonny and that with all the media parked outside, it was best if he didn't come back, but that he had to stay for now as the Detectives may need to question him and Ray.  
It didn't really worry Brock, but it did concern him why they were constantly asking about what him and Ray did when they went to look for her.

Waking briefly from his deep sleep he still couldn't shake the images of Clay when they pulled him out of that bathroom. That god-awful smell it crept through everything, if he thought about it now, he could still smell it.  
Brock thought he'd seen some things in his life, but this had shocked him. Just because it was all so personal, it was Clay.

Cerb was curled tight to his chest his head resting on his hip as Brock puts his hand on him stroking for comfort while he closed his eyes again.

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Ray was freshly showered, he's tired and his mind aches from questioning himself over the interrogation he'd been subjected to by the sheriff's detectives.  
Staring at the ceiling asking how anyone could think that he or Brock, or any of them, would do anything to her. _She wasn't there , we didn't see her! _

They'd looked so damn hard. They searched the water's edge; the undergrowth and they'd called out into the dark for as long as they could. They even looked in the wooded area in case she was hurt. And whilst he hated what she'd done to Clay, their motive was to find her, alive, because they wanted justice, and answers. So, finding her was their thoughts, not to harm her.  
But when Rays logic questioned why the detectives would think they might have done something unthinkable to her, he could actually see why and that worried, and scared him.

A team guy, a friend, was hurt badly and his friends, a team of Navy seals go off tracking her, with a dog! What would be their motivation to the outside world? Were they seeking justice and retribution for their anger?  
Yeah Ray knew they could all be hot heads at times. In the heat of the moment, in front of bad guys, but really when faced with a woman like her would any of them , even Sonny and he was beyond angry, would any of them really have killed her?

No, no Ray didn't think so, he couldn't see it or at least he hoped he couldn't. Sure, they were killers, trained, it was second nature and they could all kill in cold blood when necessary, when life preserving, when given a target.  
He thought how many times he'd looked down a gun barrel and squeezed the trigger just like that, _Bang!_ Gone.

But this this was different, they wanted her to answer for what she'd done, to explain in some way. Hell, to try and understand.  
So no, no they wouldn't have wanted her dead, but the doubts were creeping in and he wonders, did they look hard enough that night? Did they search long enough? If she'd fallen in the water, like they thought, how long would she last what if she was there and was it they didn't see her when they searched or was it they didn't search hard enough because they didn't _want _to see her !  
Those thoughts and deliberations had crossed Rays own mind. What if subconsciously they left her because of what she did to Clay?

He sighs pulling his pants back on and his T Shirt over his head. The detectives had said him, and Brock weren't to go anywhere, and Ray knew that wasn't good!  
That were still obviously under suspicion. And why hadn't the detectives answered Jason's questions when they hurried away? Where were they going they left in a rush. There was something wrong and it gave Ray a bad feeling.

Ray was also wondering how Clay was. He hadn't seen him since they took him from the road where Trent revived him. But the things Trent was saying before they left, they didn't sound good either.  
He sits on the edge of bed contemplating some sleep when his stomach growls and he realises he hasn't eaten in quite a while. Maybe he should see if the others wanted to get something to eat before he slept.

Suddenly his attention is distracted from his empty stomach grumbles and he looks up at the window listening to the noises coming from outside. _Is that shouting? No, it's arguing!  
_  
He furrows his head with a deep frown as he stands up from where he's sitting on the bed. Putting his boots back on as he listens intently to the raised voices. _What the hell! _


	35. Chapter 35

** Chapter 35: He's not thinking clearly **

Ash takes a breath, puts his fist to the door, then he drops it.  
He steps back, giving himself a moment to gather his emotions, then, taking another deep breath, he knocks hard against the door of Jason's motel room.

Jason sits up slowly, awoken by a loud thud to the outside entrance of the room.  
Moving forward he slides off the edge of the bed, while putting his hand to the cramp in his knee. The ache is warm and painful as he staggers across the room to answer the pounding thud being made against the flimsy motel door.

He opens it and sighs. "What do you want?" he glares at Ash, even the sight of him puts the hackles on the back of his neck up."I was about to take a shower!"

"We need to talk!"

"Okay, speak!" he holds the door open, not letting him in, he doesn't trust himself to be any closer to Ash than he needs to be.

"Can I come in?"

"No, out here is just fine! Being honest whatever you've gotta say, I don't wanna hear it!"

"Fine!" Ash smirks with amusement at Jason's dismissive attitude. He takes another deeper breath before he begins, he knows full well Jason's not going to like what he has to say. " I get that but well, I just thought I'd let you know, I'm heading back...to Virginia Beach!"

"You're going? Why?" Jason frowns suspiciously

"Yeah! Because, if Clay won't see me here, then there's no point me staying! And there's things, arrangements, I need to make, and I have a meeting with my publicist. Plus there are some other things I need to look into!"

Jason's suspicious. Something about the cagey manner and the tone in which Ash speaks making the feeling in Jason's gut raise to high alert. "What the hell are you up to?"

"Look Jason, I know you're not gonna like this but..." he coughs awkwardly "I'm doing it in the best interests, putting Clay, my son, his future first."

Jason stares at him, a vibe of apprehension descends over him. He doesn't know why, yet, but he's not liking the way he says any of this "You're what?"

"I'm... well I was trying, to get a couple of interviews lined up!"  
He stops, allowing the enormity of what he's now proposing to sink in "If .. if this thing with Ann Marie blows up then, well, I'm looking into ways for him to benefit from it, put his side, before the media run with it!"

"You're what?!" Jason blinks, really not understanding what he's talking about "What the hell?!..._.Interviews_ ? Interviews about what?"

"About you know.. ... what she did. What happened to him, giving his side, from his angle, his story! Hell, he could raise awareness of the issue, tell people this happens!"

"Oh my god!" the disbelief in Jason's face, his mouth drops open "Are you actually serious? Have you spoken to Clay about this?" he frowns watching him "Is this why he won't speak to you?"

"No! No, I haven't mentioned it yet! Look, all I'm doing is putting a few feelers out for possible interview exclusives, see what's on offer! You know headline, ... Navy seal has to give up career, girlfriend...blah blah! My publicist is thinking over the idea of a book!"

Jason looks at him still dumbfounded "Christ, what the actual ...Seriously! What are you talking about!? Hell NO! ...No! You're not doing this! Have you actually gone mad? Oh my god!"  
Jason laughs at him "I can't... I can't believe you're even suggesting this with, or without Clay on board!"  
He breathes out, shocked at this ludicrous idea "You know you'd finish his career if you do this!"

"No! No see if Clay's hand doesn't heal, then his career _is_ finished! This...this gives him options! This gives him a way out; this gives him money! He's gonna need this. It's me looking out for him, putting him first over everything, even if he can't see it right now!"

Jason's can't speak, lost for words. The whole idea is abhorrent and he can't even let it sink in yet "His hand's gonna get better! He's gonna get better, and we're gonna be there for him!"

Ash laughs, smirking "Like you were there for him up until now, hmmm?! Where did your help get him Jason?"  
He shakes his head "My son's laying in a hospital bed, his _girlfriend_ is god knows where, probably dead! And like it or not, the media are probably gonna run with this! And when the details come out, it's gonna be splashed over every media outlet and stream available! All I'm trying to do is get Clay some bucks from it, try and let him control it, as much as we can!"

Jason can feel his temper rising it's building like a large volcano of rage. Ash can see it and he takes a step away from the door. Lucky for him he does because just then Jason steps forward towards him. "What the actual hell ! Get away from me and...and you stay away from Clay, you understand! He doesn't need this!" Jason pushes him in the chest "Stay the hell away!"

Ash shakes his head laughing at Jason  
"Sorry but you're not gonna stop me, you don't control me! Don't worry, I'm gonna speak to him before I go... explain to him! He may not get it right now, but eventually... eventually he'll see that maybe it's the right thing!"  
He pauses, he knows that Jason won't get it but he's hoping Clay will see the benefits, _if _he'll just listen.

"All I'm doing is looking at the options...just options! He's not gonna be thinking clearly right now, he can't make decisions, he's confused so...I can look at how he can make this work in his favor. We do this right ... get it signed up now exclusively. But the book deal, we need to act on it now!"

"You're _NOT _seeing Clay!"

Ash laughs at Jason's determined but pointless effort "You can't stop me! I've told you, he's my son."

Jason laughs "No, you're not seeing him... cos he's not here!"

Ash frowns "What do you mean, he's not here?"

"I mean he's gone .. he's gone back to Virginia Beach! Trent and Sonny took him a few hours ago. He wanted out, so they took him back! Thank god by the looks of it!"

"What the hell?! And none of you thought to tell me?"

Jason laughs at him "I didn't see why you needed to know! I mean you don't deserve to be told anything; you forfeited your rights!"

Ash laughs as he moves in closer, staring at Jason goading him "Oh I see, this... this is guilt. This attitude, it's you acting out on your guilt. The fact that you failed to act. You're his team leader and you didn't keep him safe!"

Jason frowns "Don't lecture me! You're his father and you stood by too!...What the hell did you do, hmmm?"

Jason grinds his teeth staring Ash deep in the eyes " What did you do Ash? I'll tell you what you did! When his back was turned you fucked his girlfriend! This isn't about what I didn't do, this is about what you did!"

Jason shakes his head Ash has gone way too far this time "What are you gonna do when that all comes out? How're you gonna look then, when they run that story, about a father that betrayed his son!?"

"Who knows..." Ash smirks "I guess it all adds to the story!"

What he said was supposed to be a joke. A throw away quip. But the moment Ash says it he realises it was a mistake, and now he's about to regret it, because the minute the words are out of his mouth and Jason hears them, he feels a crunching thud and then a crack to his ribs, as a blow from a clenched fist hits him right in the gut.

"Aarrgghhhhh!" he cries out, doubling his body in half, trying to find some way to ease the pain of that hard, sharp blow. Catching his balance, just in time to stop himself from hitting the hard, hot tarmac of the parking lot ground.

"You son of a bitch! " Jason scream at him. He's livid "You're planning on writing about this in some god damn book?!"

Ash struggles to stand up and just as he straightens himself, getting the breath to answer, he can't because he doesn't have time to prepare and is forced to cry out in more pain as he receives another sickening blow from Jason's hand. It follows the first hitting him right in the centre of his gut, the exact same place as the first painful blow.

Ash feels all the air in his lungs expel, in one large forced breath, and he puts his hand to his torso, doubled up in more pain.  
He checks himself, trying to straighten his stance, he knows for sure now that he has at least one broken rib and he grimaces, spitting words filled with venom back at Jason "This what you want, to fight me? You really wanna do this?"

"Oh hell yeah!" Jason laughs " Do you know how long I've waited to do this? To have my moment with you!"

"Well then hit me, Jason! ...Come on!" Ash musters all of his energy to scream at him "If that will take you guilt away, then _hit_ me! Come on! Come on Jason _HIT ME_!"  
Ash opens his arms, beckoning Jason towards him, encouraging him to throw his punches.

Jason pauses, hesitating for only seconds, he only wavers wondering if he's giving him what he wants, so he can say that Jason's hit him, but as he sees Ash laugh he stops pondering, any remaining cares he had are gone, and closing his fist tight he lands a punch square on Ash's jaw!

Then he pounds another and another, punch after punch. But where he thought Ash would resist, fight back, hell swing at least one at him, he doesn't. No instead he just takes it, forcing himself to stand and suffer the blows.  
He's struggling to breath, but determined to absorb the impact of the force that Jason unleashes, and he's still smirking, despite his bloodied mouth which he's wiping on the back of his hand. "That the best you got?!"

Jason takes a deep breath as that smirk only succeeds in making him more angry. Sure he wonders why Ash is not fighting back, giving him a real contest, giving him a reason to hit him more, but with that smirk, even Ash's passive stance won't stop him and now he swings another thunderous low blow to his gut.

Jason smiles, he's worryingly, enjoying the resounding thud as his fist makes contact with Ash's body.

Ash takes another deep breath as he faces his opponent again, his lip split with a wide bleeding cut and his body half doubled in pain  
"Come on! You can do better than that!" he's willing Jason to do this, still goading him, he now unexpectedly retaliates and lands a blow back. Ash's clenched hand hitting Jason square on the jaw, the sound of fist on face thuds as the two meet.

For a moment it catches Jason off guard, halting him, making him pause. After having had nothing he wasn't expecting it and he stares Ash full in the eyes. reflecting on his anger and hate.  
But then before either of their brains register, it becomes a full on fight.

A frenzy of pounding punches, punishing low blows, pushing and shoving. Groan inducing cracks and dull thuds, mostly from Jason's fist meeting with Ash, but the odd one of Ash's connecting back on Jason.

Blood splatters cover both of them as Jason next punch catches Ash full on the nose, the sound makes Ash grimace, and shudder. Is it broken? He doesn't know.  
But the pain that rips through his face is so intense that it finally floors him. Now what ever happens will be at Jason's choosing as Ash sits on the ground holding his bleeding face, arm round his ribs, unable to move .

Jason felt the bruising crunch from his face on his fist and before that the crack of his rib, unable to cope with the continual weight of his, tightly, gripped hand pounding into them at full force.

"Get up!" Jason's ready for more, almost rabid for the fight now but for Ash is over. He's sweating and the pains that are ripping at his bones and muscles are too much for him to continue.  
Bloodied and exhausted from the beating, he shakes his head and relents. "No, no more!"  
He puts his hand up conceding defeat. He'd wanted this, brought it on, asked for it because he saw it as a way to cleanse and purge his feelings of guilt.  
But it didn't, it didn't come close to taking the pain away for what he'd done to Clay. But, if it made Jason feel better than it would be worth it.

Ash knows his son will need someone, someone to be strong for him, that he could rely on and Jason needed to let go of some of his anger. Hopefully releasing it would allow him to focus again.

"STOP!" Jason looks round  
"Woah man! What the hell!" Ray's running at him pushing, shoving him away from Ash "Jason, brother, stop!.. What they hell!"

Ray has hold of Jason's T shirt holding him in place "What the hell's wrong with you, man! Don't you see, this ... this is what he wants!"

He looks at Ash, at the blood on him, how broken he looks "Jeez man what the hell !"  
Ray lets out a long-exhausted sigh "Jason.. you can't do this, Brother come on! This ... this is not you!"  
Ray rubs his head. This is a moment he's not sure if he's glad Sonny's not here or if he needs him, he certainly could do with Trent here right now! "Shit man!" Ray looks at Ash "What the hell did you do?!"

Ash continues to sit on the ground  
"Aarrrgghhhh!" He groans in agony, his hands holding his aching and sore ribs, his mouth and nose bloodied.

Jason trying desperately to get his temper in check Ray holding him back  
"You know what he's going to do?" Jason points "Do you? ..His latest little book idea! Listen to him Ray listen to what he's planning, then tell me I wasn't right to do this!"Jason's beyond livid still.

"Jason man, calm it! I'm sure he's not going do anything ... not without thinking?!" he glares at Ash questioning, hoping Jason's not right that he's not doing something stupid "We're just gonna calm it down" He looks down at Ash again, he's concerned "You okay?"

Jason pushes forward against the arm holding him "What the hell, Ray! You're asking him if he's okay, seriously?"

Brock's now standing at the door of his room. They too heard the noisy commotion. Cerb barking telling him something was wrong.

He's over , schooched down on the ground, and much as he feels uncomfortable about it he helps Ash up. The blood pouring from his nose covering his hands and his clothes.  
He's holding his ribs, struggling and even with help he's finding it difficult to stand. Every move, every breath hurts but still he finds the strength to laugh.

Ray has his arms on Jason using all his strength to hold him back as Jason pushes forward against him, still unable to calm his temper, still ready to go at him again

"What the hell are you doing Jason!" Ray shakes his head"Calm down brother!"

Ash spits the blood from his mouth, it tastes like he's been chewing on coins and he can't swallow, his chest's aching, his mouth sore and he has a gaping bloodied split on his lip.  
His head throbs with sharp aches and his nose is so painful it's numb "I'm going! I need to get back to Virginia Beach!"

Ray look's at Brock who has hold of him, his arm under his trying to hold him up. "You're going no where!" Ray tries to think "You better drive him!"

"But... those cops, they said we needed to stay!"

"Yeah, we'll deal with that, but he can't drive."

Jason pushes forward again as Ray grabs his T shirt holding him tighter "We'll get to the bottom of what's going on then head back!"

"You stay the hell away from Clay you hear me!" Jason thrusts his finger in Ash's direction "I'm gonna be calling Sonny... you go anywhere near him I swear to god!" he takes a breath

"You'll what, Jason?!" Ash holds his ribs, even talking is painful "All I'm doing..." he grimaces ".. is looking out for my son, he'll need something if he can't come back from this!"

"What the hell!" Jason pulls himself away from Ray's hold, rubbing his head, exasperated by Ash and his words "What the hell did you do to her to make her do this?! You must have messed her head, real good!"

"Jace ..." Ray shakes his head ".. come on man, leave it now! We don't know what was going on in her head! She's not the victim here, Clay is! Brother, go back inside, calm down!"

"Get the hell off me Ray!" Jason pulls away. He seems calmer but as he turns to leave Ash mumbles something under his breath, he doesn't catch what he says but before Ray has any chance to get hold of him he thumps Ash full in the gut.  
His legs give out and Ash drops to the floor. Every breath in his body has gone and he gags, almost throwing up from the punch.

Ray pulls Jason back before he can do anything else they are now nose to nose "You want to Jason? Really!" Ray confronts him "Cos I'll do this if you want to! Jeez brother, this... what the hell's this achieving, hmmm?" he turns him around "Get back inside!"

Brock frowns as he helps Ash up he can hardly move now, and Brock would admit he's seriously concerned as Ash groans holding himself "I think we might need to get him checked out!"

Ray rubs his head this has seriously got out of hand now "Yeah!" he sighs "I think so too!" He watches as Ash is continually spitting up blood.

"What you wanna do Ray?"

He shakes his head watching Jason pacing his room, Ash gagging on his blood filled mouth.

"We can't go to the hospital, not with all TV there!"

Ash frowns slumping down on the floor "Too many media...ahhhhh!" he grimaces in serious pain now "... know who I am!"

"Okay let me think! Oh hell!" Ray rubs his head as he tries to think what to do "That nurse, the one that helped us get Clay out .. perhaps we can get her to come look?"

Brock nods "Ummm.. I'll call Trent, I think he said had her number!"

Ray turns around, he's watching Jason pacing his motel room. He's flexing his sore swollen hand and rubbing his knuckles as he strides back and forward.

Ray sighs again "How the hell did this happen!"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

"Hold on there, Sunshine!"  
Sonny steadies Clay against the corridor wall, putting the key in the apartment door, unlocks it and opens up.  
He checks around the empty apartment as Clay staggers in behind him, tired from the journey, but annoyingly determined, to walk up the stairs without any help.

"You look like shit!" Sonny laughs at him as Trent enters the room behind them.

"Thanks Sonny! That's just what I needed to hear!"

"Hey man, I'm just kidding ya!... You okay though?" He frowns, this must be the tenth time he's asked him and still Clay's painfully quiet.

In fact the whole journey back he hasn't uttered a word which is not the prank pulling, wise ass he normally is. He's only this quiet when something's bothering him and so it worries Sonny as he frowns at Trent.

Sonny's frowns are their own sign language, asking the questions of Trent, that Sonny can't ask out loud. _Is Clay alright? Should we should be doing this, leaving him here like this? What's going to happen? Will he EVER be the same Clay!_  
Trent reluctantly shrugs and smiles, he doesn't have the answers because has no actual idea _how_ Clay's coping.

Sure physically on the outside, so far, he doesn't seem too bad. Although he hasn't checked properly on his hand because Clay didn't want it looked at again before they left.

He'd wanted him to go to the Navy Hospital but he wouldn't do that either, though tomorrow he may have no choice as he'll probably be summoned for a medical! Trent knows it, Clay knows it but no ones mentioned it yet.

And Trent knows his arm must be sore because despite him not saying or answering when asked, Trent watched him rubbing at quite a few times as he checked on him, using the vanity mirror on the journey back.  
But how he was coping mentally and emotionally, that Trent has absolutely no idea. He'd asked, they'd all asked and they all got the same response "I'm good!" So all Trent can do is look at Sonny and shrug.

Trent sighs as he checks his ringing cell screen "It's Brock!" he sighs, he's tired and now more concern is adding to his woes "I better take it."

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

"Oh Jenna!" the nurse, Judy, at the reception desk call her back as she walks past

"Yeah!" she frowns

"These came for you!" she hands her the large lovely, pink bouquet of flowers "Your birthday?" she enquires

"Umm .. no! No, not my birthday...I don't know!" she frowns again hesitating looking at the lovely flowers "Is there a card?"

"Umm hmmm!" Judy, hands her the card that was attached the flowers cellophane

Jenna picks it out of the envelope and smiles

"Secret admirer! Judy looks a Jenna. She can see the non obvious smile on her face, as she leans on the front desk "Who is he? A Patient? I always heard you gave a good sponge bath!" she smiles and Jenna laughs back.

"No, no not a patient! A ... " she smiles as she looks at Trent's neat handwriting on the small card. His mobile number and "_We will have that dinner I promised! Thank you for everything! x!" _so neatly written**.**  
She can't stop smiling as she looks at the number on her screen. "Excuse me!" she frowns "I need to take this!"

"Hey Jenna, it's Trent... look, I need a favor, sorry to ask but, what I mean is Brock and Ray need a favor!"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o  
**

Roberts frowns looking at the body lying face down in the mud by the edge of the lake.

"Jeez! What the hell happened to you?" he sighs as he takes his nicotine gum from his pocket and puts two tabs in his mouth. He sighs again and shakes his head. His head looks up as he's suddenly disturbed from his thoughts by the sound of a van door clanking shut with a bang.

Turning around he watches as the two forensics people are finishing up putting on their white overalls, preparing their camera and kit.

Malone finishes his chat with them and walks back in Roberts direction. He's standing a few feet from the body, conscious they need to preserve the scene of the crime.

"So Malone, we know who he is yet?"


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36: keep an open mind **

Jenna arrives at the motel rooms where BRAVO are staying. She frowns as she notices Jason outside pacing up and down.

"You alright?" she looks at him, watching as he rubs his knuckles, noticing the they're split with cuts and red bruising "What happened?"

Jason just shakes his head but doesn't answer  
Ray comes to one of the doorways "Thanks for coming!"

"It's okay" she frowns confused "Trent phoned me, I'll help if I can but..." She sighs "..well, I'm not a doctor!"

"I know, we just need you to take a look, patch him up, make him fit to travel! Trent will take care of the rest when they get back!"

She shrugs as Ray pushes the door open, now she can see a very badly bloodied and bruised Ash sitting on the bed.  
She takes a deep breath "Oh my god! I didn't know it was this bad, what the hell happened?" she looks around at the guys faces but no one answers her. "You do this?" she frowns at Jason.

He still doesn't answer, rubbing his head as he walks away.

"He needs to go to a hospital!" she sighs again "I mean look ...Jeez! I should call the police, this is too much!"

"No! No police" Ray frowns at her concerned "Like I said, we'll take care of this ourselves! It's a team thing!"

She's annoyed "No, no I'm not involving myself in this .. this this is too much! I mean..." she sighs the sight of Ash, he's slumped where he's sitting, he's so bruised it concerns her. "this .. this what you do!Take care of business! Is Roberts right .. did you off that girl because of what she did...what she did to Clay? Did you?" she frowns looking for answers from Ray.

"NO!..No, of course not! Why the hell would you think that? .. This this was different this .. "  
Ray sighs he can see what she's saying, how this doesn't look good and she's right, is this the way they sort things now. Took care of their business! "No! I swear to god! We did not touch her in any way! Please, will you just look at him?"

Ray has this tone that makes her soften, that makes her trust his word and she sighs "Alright, okay... but I'm doing this because Trent asked me, and that's the only reason! If I find out you had anything ...anything to do with what's happened to that girl...then I'll turn you all in myself! Do you understand me?"

"Yeah, yeah sure" Ray sighs with relief "Jenna, thank you!"

She starts to unpack her bag. She's made up her mind that she will be calling Trent to vent her annoyance, the moment she finishes with Ash.

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

"So, what you wanna do? Couch, bed... shower? You tell me!" Sonny frowns, he's watching Clay and the blank, nothing look on his face.

He shrugs "I -I need to pee!"

"Okay!" Sonny frowns "Do you need a hand?"  
Clay stares hard at him "Sorry... that didn't come out how I meant. Ignore me ..stupid question. You umm...you do that, and I'll put some coffee on!"

Sonny feels awkward, he takes a deep breath and tries to smile in the most reassuring way he can, he's never felt this uncomfortable around Clay before.  
He finds himself watching him, the painful way he walks, a slow, unwilling shuffle towards the bathroom.

Sonny continues to observe him, the way he hesitates in the bedroom.

Slowly and painfully he takes his jacket off. Trent gave it to him to wear for the journey back and he now lays it neatly on the bed, feeling the fabric in his one good hand. He recognises that it's Brock's and bizarrely all he can think is _I wonder where he got it?_

Still watching him, Sonny's full of concern and he turns to Trent, looking for answers. "Give him time!" Trent smiles trying to reassure him, it's hard because he has lots of worries and concerns of his own.

As Clay switches the light on in the bathroom, he hesitates at the silence. Looking at the familiar space, but this time rather than the welcome of being home, being in his apartment, he can feel his chest tighten with anxiety, hear the rise and fall of his own breathing and he stands frozen, in the doorway.  
A weird smell that's not really there, hits his senses and the light in the room feels wrong, he just stands staring into the space not wanting to move forward.

Sonny's, standing in the bedroom watching him "You okay?"

"Err.. yeah, sure! I.. I just..." he turns and smiles at him as he makes the conscious step over the threshold "I need to ummm... you know!"

"Yeah I know... like I said, I'll get the coffee!"

Clay closes the door, leaning back against it, taking a moment, calming himself.  
_Come on get it together, what the hell's the matter with you?!_

He rubs at his arm, it's sore and aches, then he turns his attention to his bandaged hand, turning it over in front of him, looking at his palm, trying to flex his fingers, they hurt. He frowns, not even wanting to consider what's going on under the bandage.

"Phewww!" he lets out a long sigh as he lifts the pan lid and unzips his pants fly. It's awkward because he's having to operate one handed,left-handed.

Standing there he closes his eyes, ready to relieve the burning sensation that's been pushing against his insides for the last few miles of the journey back.  
It surprised him that after the way everything had been that he was able to hold on all this time. _Perhaps things are getting better? _

Jenna had warned him, before he left, that the effects of the drug might still play havoc with not only his emotions, but his body functions, at least for a few more days. It was all ifs and buts and he was hoping he might escape most of side effects, but now, as was about to be demonstrated, it didn't look likely.

He stands over the toilet looking down at the water sitting in the bottom.  
He's concentrating on what he's doing, probably over thinking the whole situation of using the bathroom, making it a much bigger thing in his head, that it should be.

Before long, much too long, he realises he's still standing there and nothing's happening. He concentrates more on what he's wanting to do, thinking about the burning feeling on his insides.

_Come on!_ he frowns, frustrated that still nothing's happening. He can feel the pain pushing against his bladder, the severe need to go, but he can't.

He takes a deep breath_. Come on concentrate!_ he sighs "Christ, what the hell's wrong with me!"  
He musters all his focus on the task, holding himself steady by putting his bandaged hand on the wall behind the toilet.  
He closes his eyes _Yeah don't look, just do it! _Still nothing. _Okay, just think about letting it out, Stop over thinking it! For god sake how hard can it be!_ He shakes his head frustrated but still nothing!

He's in pain now and shifts around foot to foot, then just when he thinks he's about to go, a knock on the bathroom door makes him jump.  
It disturbs his attention and makes his body flinch. Everything tightens and _Damn it!_ He was close. _Just pee ... for god sake, Clay just do it!_

"Clay! .. It's Trent, you okay in there?"

"Shit!" Clay's so frustrated now, wondering why can't they just leave him in peace. _  
For god sake, how many times do they need to ask if I'm okay!?  
_  
"Yeah! Yeah just give me a minute!" he sighs _Come on!... hmmmm_!  
He shakes his head totally frustrated, unsure what to do, how to solve this problem. Hot, sweat beading on his forehead from his over concentration.  
"What the hell!... Just don't think about it, think of something else. Relax.. just relax!" he screams at himself staring at the water in the pan, he even considers running the sink tap but nothing.

Reluctantly he decides he'll have to give up, despite the griping pains in his bladder.  
He struggles to do his pants up, conceding that he has to leave them undone.  
The zipper just won't pull up and the button is beyond him one handed, plus it's too tight pulling against his stomach.

He sits on the side of the bath taking a moment, trying to ease the pressing need he feels to go. It's like a pressure a deep burning pain stuck in his stomach.

"Oh god!" He grimaces bending double. It's the most uncomfortable experience and now he's afraid that he'll end up at some point, wetting himself again. But he gives up, deciding he'll have to cope with the feeling for now.

He continues to sit, rubbing his arm, it gripes with pain and his hand feels like an aching burn, as it continues to throb under the bandage.  
Right now, he feels unusually sorry for himself. Wondering how long he will take to fix this time, when will he get back to normal with all this coming just after his problems with his leg and the explosion.  
He sighs, starting to question if he'll ever be the SEAL he once was or even a sniper ever again or will this be a last straw, and finally hammer the last nail in the coffin of his career.

He looks the tight white strip of crepe around the top of his arm, it's covering the neat row of stitches, he saw them at the hospital but they now feel like they're pulling at the skin, too tight and aching.  
He puts his free hand over the area, holding it. Then he squeezes, nipping at the wound so hard, increasing the pain by ten-fold.  
He holds it tighter in his grip, squeezing harder-and harder until there's a point where either the pain numbs, or he will black out from it.  
He gets there, that point where the pain stops and he holds it, enjoying the relief it gives.

He takes a deep breath and then let's go, feeling the rush of blood going back to the wound. He sucks in air as the sting and the pain also rush back, filling the painless void he had been feeling only moments ago.  
The ache travels down the nerves in his arm, and he cries out "Ahhhh, shit!...awww!" He shakes his head trying to make it go away, hoping it subsides, but it doesn't, and he grabs at it again.  
The only seeming relief he can get is from hurting it more "Arrghhhhhh!" he breaths out.

Then just as he's weirdly enjoying the release, there's a knock on the bathroom door and it yanks his senses back to reality.

"You okay?" Trent bangs on the door

"Ummm... yeah, yeah!" he lets go, flooding his body with the ache as he unlatches the door and Trent steps in.

"You okay? Only you've been in there a while!" Trent looks at Clay's face he can see the look of un-comfortableness etched in his eyes "You in pain?"

Clay nods "Yeah a bit!"

"I'll get you some pain killers, if you want?"

"I guess, yeah, be good!" he rubs, more gently the top of his arm, trying to shake off the pain without inflicting any more in front of Trent.

"I wouldn't touch that too much, the stitches! Everything else okay?" Trent frowns he suspects there's more than Clay's letting on.

"Umm..." he shakes his head and hesitates. He so badly wants to tell Trent about the problem he's got, that he can't go, but he decides he can't  
"Yeah everything's fine!" He smiles awkwardly sucking down the burning pain he can still feel in his groin.

"You sure?" Trent's not really buying it as he watches him hesitate.

He's not but there's nothing he can do. Perhaps, he justifies it, it's the pressure of having both Sonny and Trent here, that they're putting him off. If he could just be on his own and relax, take his time then everything would just be okay!

Sonny hands him a coffee and Clay sits down. He's so uncomfortable and keeps shifting position often.  
Moving from side to side his stomach is in agony now and he's having a hard time hiding it. He'll have to leave the coffee, he can't risk adding anymore fluids to his already bulging bladder problem.

"You sure you're okay?" Trent frowns as he watches him.

"Christ!.. Could you just stop asking me that!" Clay snaps at him.  
It's not like he's going to tell him anything, so why do they keep continually asking.

He's too afraid to tell them because right now there's no way he wants to end up back in hospital, with tubes fitted or being examined.  
He knows enough from experience that right now, with the burning going on down below, that he doesn't want anyone messing with him.

Trent gives him the painkillers, leaving the bottle on the kitchen countertop. Clay watches him wondering if they're the same ones he had for his leg injury, remembering how out of it they made him feel, he doesn't want that, he wants to stay in control  
"You know guys I'm tired and I could do with some time alone, take a bath, get some sleep!"

"Yeah!..Yeah sure. Look, I'll take the couch for tonight! We'll work something more permanent out tomorrow!"

Clay frowns "No...no, I just wanna be on my own!"

"Clay, sorry but the only way they let you go from the hospital, is if one of us stays with you! That was their condition, hell that's Jason's condition, that you weren't alone. So, sorry but one of us has to stay!"

"You know I'll be fine!" he watches Sonny's face but he knows he won't relent so he reluctantly nods, sighing loudly.  
He was hoping for some time alone, some time that so no matter how long he took in the bathroom, that no one would disturb him. No one asking what's wrong!  
"Okay!...Alright" he sighs again "Sonny, you can stay on the couch!"

"Thank you!... Hey, you won't know I'm here!"

_I doubt that!_ Clay frowns as he forces a smile.

"What did Brock want?" Sonny looks at Trent but he avoids the reply.

"Doesn't matter, I'll explain later!" he looks at Sonny, and then smiles awkwardly at Clay.

Sonny frowns he can tell there is something wrong, something Trent doesn't want Clay to know but as everything goes silent for a moment, they turn their attention from Brock's phone call to realise that Clay's fallen asleep on the couch.

Sonny smiles and takes a breath.  
He picks up his legs, gently lifting them up on the arm of the couch and covering him over with the throw! "Guess I'll take the bed then!"

Trent's phone buzzes again and he smiles as he sees Jenna's number "Look, I need to take this.. so, I'm gonna head off!"

Sonny nods as Trent answers the call "Call me if you need me, I'll come straight back, if not I'll see you first thing!"

Sonny sits in the chair opposite watching Clay as he sleeps. He's worried but at least for now, he looks content, and for now Sonny can rest for the first time in he can't remember how long.  
He heads to the bed and lays down on top of the covers and it's not long before he's also asleep.

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Trent's walking back to his car as he speaks to Jenna "Hey!" he smiles "How are you?"

She smiles "I'm okay sort of!" she sighs "Oh by the way before I forget, thank you for the flowers, they were lovely and I'm sorry we didn't get our dinner!"  
She takes a breath "Look..." she sighs again " this with Ash, you know he really needs to see a Doctor, I'm only a nurse Trent! I've patched him as best I can ..but I think he may have some broken ribs. This thing with Jason... it got really out of hand!"

"Yeah, yeah Brock told me! He told me Jason lost it. Look, you don't know Ash.. it's .. it's complicated, goes a lot further back. They'll work it out!"

"Trent you didn't see the state of him. He needs medical attention, he's got fractured ribs and his nose... " she shakes her head in despair "I didn't like leaving him, sending him on his way like that. But he insisted he had to get back!"

"It's not your fault, Ash can decide, he's quite capable of making stupid decisions! Anyway it's probably best he's away from Jason right now!"

She changes the subject "How's Clay?"

"Hmmm...Yeah not good. He's not really talking to anyone"

"You need to be patient with him, let him take his time. Don't push him to do anything he doesn't want to!"

"Yeah but if, if he doesn't open up soon .. I'm worried. Worried that this might turn into something bigger!"

"Look Trent, when you're a victim of anything like that ... you need.. need to get some control back!" she sighs "He just needs to feel like he's got a say in things, not having things pushed on him!" she sighs again "Oh...I wish I could do something to help! It's gotta be so hard for him. Perhaps I could speak to him tomorrow, see how he's doing!"

Trent sighs "Hey...I've got an idea! You could come here, come with the others when they head back, then you can talk to him, perhaps help him, and...and I can buy you that dinner I promised!" he smiles thinking about her.

She laughs "Trent I can't just come...I have work, and things!"

"Work, do you not get time off? Look, I'm worried about Clay and he listens to you, it's only an hour and twenty minutes Please say you'll come! I'll buy you dinner and I'd like to see you again."

She sighs "Okay! Look, I'm not promising, but let me see if I can swap some of my shifts around. I'd like to help Clay if I can. I know what he's going through, but as I said I'm not promising anything!"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Sonny wakes with a start hearing a sharp screeching sound "What the hell" he gets his bearings in the room. "Clay!.. Clay where are you?"  
He stumbles from the bedroom as he wakes up and he can see Clay sat on the couch, his head in his hands. He looks up as Sonny stares at him worried "You okay?"

Clay shake his head he's woken from a bad dream"I don't know Sonny! I-I can't stop thinking about her, she's like in my head going over and over, what she said...what she did! I..."

He grimaces with the pain in his stomach despite his best efforts he's still been unable to pee. He sighs "Why the hell did I let her do that stuff! Look at me Sonny, I should've been able to cope with... with some girl, stop her, I mean I deal with bad guys all the time ...so why didn't I stop her?" He sighs again, as he doubles over "Argghhh!" the pain burns so bad.

"Clay what the hell, are you okay? You got pain? ... Let me call Trent!"

"NO! No, I'm okay just ... just a bit of cramps that's all .. you know all those antibiotics, plays havoc with you!" he smiles, laughing it off.

"Yeah, yeah I can imagine. Look, err... you want something to drink, water, juice? You gotta drink plenty if you got cramps"

Sonny runs the tap and fills the glass, taking it back and handing it to him "Drink!"

Clay sighs he can't bear to think about drinking this water and he takes a small sip

"Drink it all, you'll get dehydrated!"

_Oh god!_ he gulps back the water. Worried, this is only going to exasperate the problem he has.

"And as for her ..." Sonny take the glass going back and refilling it ".. none of us knew what she was like, what she was capable of! Clay, it could have happened to any one of us!"  
He stands the glass of water on the table beside him.

"No!...No, it couldn't, it wouldn't! No one else would be this stupid!"

Sonny sits beside him on the couch putting his has hand on his should "Hey man, come on. don't be so hard on yourself!"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-**

"So, do we know what killed him?" Roberts looks as the paper suit clad forensics guy as they take a break from bending down by the body.

"Quick first impression, blunt force to the back of the head.. something like a heavy piece of wood or .. maybe like... a hammer, something that smashed the skull right there!"

Roberts nods, he can see for himself, despite the mud, as he looks at the body where it lies face down in the water. He can see the side part of the skull is crushed in, blood in his hair. "We got any idea who he is?"

Malone looks around facing his boss and gets his notebook out. "Err yeah .. McCready, Thomas McCready. You know McCready farms, his son."

Roberts frowns "And what's he doin' here?"

"This is the fishing lodge they own. He comes here quite a bit, for a spot of night fishing. I spoke with the old man; he was supposed to return home yesterday and didn't show. Some trekkers found the body and called it in this morning!"

"Okay, we know how long he's been dead?"

"They're ummm ..." he points to the forensics "they're saying at a guess, a day or so, they'll know more when they get the body back for autopsy"

"Was he alone up here?"

"Looks that way, though we haven't really had time for any forensics, yet. They've only just arrived!"

Roberts takes a deep breath and then lets it out slowly "Jeez!"

He rubs his head and takes his nicotine gum from his pocket, realising he's on the last two he puts them back.  
"What the hell's going on here Malone! First I have a missing girl, a guy who says he's he may or may not have been attacked by his girlfriend, a dead person in a car accident and bunch of Navy guys running around.. not to mention a hospital under siege from TV crews!"  
He sighs again, still rubbing the ache in his head "I tell ya all this shit being sent my way, if I didn't know better I'd blame my ex-wife, that she's trying to kill me off with stress!"

He spits out the gum in his mouth, fondling the part packet in his pocket. "Alright then... let's get checking this place out and see if we got any clues! Oh, and get this crime scene sealed down, all this media attention, I don't want them getting all over this as well!"

"SIR!"  
Comes a loud shout from the small wooded area to the back of the house "SIR! YOU NEED TO COME SEE THIS!"

Roberts takes a sigh and wanders away from the body. "What is it Connors? I god damn hope its good news and you've found me whatever killed this guy!"

"No sir, I haven't but...I have found you another body!"

Roberts and Malone exchange glances "What the hell!" Malone walks over to where Connors is crouched on the ground.

Roberts closes his eyes, he's exasperated by the whole situation and now he does take the last two nicotine tabs and puts them in his mouth, as he walks over to where Connors and Malone are studying the body of a blonde female lying partially hidden in the grass. Her dress pulled up and her panties torn.

Roberts screws up his face horrified to see her "She our missing girl?"

"We don't know yet?"  
Connors beckons the forensics guys over, and they start to seal the area for investigation "There's no ID on the body. But, looks like there was a struggle, she's been strangled for sure" he points at the obvious bruising on her neck and from her partially undressed state "and I'd say she's been assaulted!"

"Oh jeez!" Roberts shakes his head "Let's cover her up, and get an ID on her! Find out if this is Ms Jenkins. Hmmmm!" he sighs _This is just getting worse_ "Let's find out what the hell happened here, Malone!"

"Sir! ... you know Sir, if she is our missing girl then surely it can't be those SEAL guys I mean, they'd have never had time to get here, do this and get back!"

Roberts sighs "Alright!... Let's just keep our minds open for now, till we know if it's her!"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Its been a long drive and Ash has been leaned against the passenger window most of the way back. Groaning occasionally, but fairly subdued after the pain killing injection that Jenna gave him.  
She's bandaged his ribs, which she suspects are fractured in several places. His nose isn't broken but severely bruised, with a big cut between his eyes, which are now starting to bruise and swell up. He looks a mess and will take some time to heal.

She's recommended rest and painkillers and she gave him a bottle to tide him over for a few days.

Brock pulls the car up near Ash's driveway they both see all the TV media vans on the lawn and outside road.

"Oh shit!" Ash groans, slumping back in the seat, his ribs are aching so bad. He just wants to lie down and sleep.

Brock looks out of the window staring at the media "So, what you wanna do?"

Ash sighs shaking his head "I can't stay here.. we get out the car and they'll be all over us! " he sighs again "You know what, take me to a hotel. Hopefully a day or so, things will calm down, I do need to get some clothes though!"

"Alright I'll call Jason see what he suggests!"

Ash closes his eyes, he was looking forward to a long bath and his bed. He sighs, keeping his eyes closed as Brock turns the car around and heads off.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37: How is Clay? **

Detective Roberts is back and forward pacing at the side of his car, talking on his cell to Eric Blackburn.  
He's anxious, confused and annoyed at being told what to do. Every time he takes a pause in his conversation he chews furiously on the last piece of nicotine gum in his mouth. Gum that he's had in his mouth that long today, that the only effective thing its doing is giving him jaw ache.

Finishing up the call, he finally relents and tells Eric "Yes Mr Perry and Mr Reynolds are indeed free to head back and could I just thank you for your co operation but as this is an open investigation I would appreciate it if we can count on their help if we need to speak with them again!"  
He sighs, tutting as the conversation ends "Blah blah, yeah and goodbye to you, asshole!"

Looking up from his cell he acknowledges Malone who's standing frowning, patiently waiting to hand him the polystyrene food container.  
Roberts forehead wrinkles as he opens the lid looking, disapprovingly, at the limp, possibly inedible contents "What the hell is this?"

"Steak burger with grilled cheese!" Malone takes a bite out his own contents, looking less enthusiastic about the taste as he chews.

"No, I mean the this?" He pulls at the green shredded, strings, of salad.

"Oh hell, that one's mine!" he closes the lid on the one in his hands "Here swap!" Roberts frowns looking at the contents he's now been handed, a burger with a huge bite out of the side, as Malone fills his mouth with the swap "Sorry I didn't notice!"

Roberts shakes his head, closing the lid on the unappetizing meal, throwing the container through the open side window of the car, on to the seat. "So how they doin' ?"

Malone nods "Yeah well it's ... gonna take time!"

Roberts sighs, running his hand in his hair, pushing his flopping fringe back "I don't get this, I mean what the hell's gone on here?" He sighs again, as he opens the car door, leaning across to the glove box and routing inside until he finds the hidden, 'emergency' packet of cigarettes that he threw in there when he quit.  
He opens the packet then almost immediately closes it up, slipping the pack into his outer jacket pocket. He sighs again "So,where we at now?"

"Well they just finishing up with the first grave, and they're making start on the second body, we got, ...three females vics, and our dead guy McCready! Those forensics guys are saying the two covered bodies are at least a month or more old, but our latest vic, she's a couple days at most. But they won't know anything concrete till they get results back to the lab"

Roberts takes a breath frowning "And so far we got no link between any of them?"

"No, nothing as far as we can tell but there is one strange thing, the two earlier vics, they both had their purses and we got ID, but the girl in the grass, we got nothing, no purse, no ID, we don't know who she is. Fingerprints are not coming up with a match"

"So, we know she's not been in trouble. Is she McCready's girlfriend maybe?"

"No, no according to his father, no one he knew of on that scene. Bit of a loner just his fishing and farmin'"

Roberts paces "I spoke to that Commander ummm... Blackburn, told him I'd let his guys go back, though I did say we may need to question them again, but for now I don't see any reason to hold 'em!"  
He sighs, opening the cigarette packet, looking at them, longing for them but then closing the pack and putting it back in his pocket again.  
"So, we got no connections, no ID." He rubs his head frustrated and lets out a long sigh "Malone, what the hell's going on here?"

Maurice frowns watching his boss fidget with the cigarette pack, this time putting one in his mouth "I thought you gave up?"

"Yeah well it's exceptional circumstances and besides, I'm out of gum!" he coughs "So, we still don't know if the blonde is our missing girl or not?"  
Taking a long inhale in he frowns, as he looks at the lit cigarette, disgusted. It gives him the hit but doesn't taste how he hoped, not like the minty taste of the gum.

"No, no not yet sir" Malone rubs his head, he really has nothing useful to add  
"Squints have sent DNA back to the lab, and we're trying to get a recent pic for identification. Oh, and I sent some guys up to that cabin, where the boyfriend was found, see if they can get some DNA samples of her from there!"

"Yeah, yeah we may need to speak to him again!" Robert's sighs as he takes a long drag on his cigarette again, while he leans back on his car to think.

"You gonna eat that burger, Chief?"

"No!" he frowns, looking disgusted by the thought of the food "Tell ya what, as we can't do nothing useful for now, well not till forensics finish up. Let's head up to that cabin, look around for ourselves and see what was goin' on up there!"

Malone looks at his watch "Chief, it's getting late, you really wanna do that now?"

"You got somewhere to be Maurice?"

"No sir!"

"Then shut the hell up and get in the car!"

**o-o-o-o-o-o**

"Hey!"

"Hey!" Trent smiles and stands up from his seat at the table "You made it!"

"Hmmm, yeah finally! Thought you said an hour and twenty when you asked me to come last night?" she frowns "It's taken me nearly two hours in the traffic!" she tips her head and then smiles at him.

He kisses her on the cheek."Sorry, here let me order you a drink, some wine?" he nods to the waiter "So, you managed to get the time off?"

"Yeah, kind of!" She sighs taking her coat off and sitting down in the empty chair "Did a bit of shift juggling, with Anna, she wasn't too happy but ..." she shrugs "..here I am!"

She smiles watching the beaming grin on his face, as the waiter brings her a large glass of white wine.  
"To be honest, it was kinda nice to come, what I mean is , I liked Clay and well... I was worried about him. I'd forgotten how long it's been since I came to Virginia Beach. Doesn't change much"  
She takes a sip of her wine "So how are _you _and how is Clay?"

"Me! I'm just tired, been a long few days, and Clay, well... to be honest, he's not too good!" he smiles at the waiter standing with his note pad "You wanna order?"

"Yeah sure, I'll have the Parmesan Chicken please!" she smiles, then smiles again as she notices Trent staring at her. She coughs nervously, embarrassed by his attention "So the others get back okay?"

"Yeah Jason and Ray got here a few hours ago."

She drinks some more wine "And Ash, how's he?" she frowns

Trent nods "Yeah, yeah he's okay" he drinks some of his own wine "Don't tell Jason but.. I err mmm...I checked on him, he's staying at a hotel. Media are camped out at his house, so he's waiting for it to die down!"

"That serves him right, the media I mean." she laughs "But I have to say, what Jason did, it was...it was out of order!" She frowns, turning her wine glass around awkwardly on the table "He could have killed him Trent. For god sake..." she sigh "... he broke his ribs!"

Trent nods "I know!" he puts his hand on her hand "It got out of hand. Jason knows that and I'm sure he regrets it!"

"Does he? Cos stuff like that, it really doesn't help Clay" She still awkwardly plays with her wine glass "But... thank you for this!" she smiles

"You got somewhere to stay?"

"Yeah, just a motel down the block!" she smiles as the waiter comes with the plates "Shall we eat?"

**o-o-o-o-o-o**

Clay wakes rubbing his head, he aches, and he still feels tired. He's laid on the bed, his ears prickling to the sounds of talking and he sits forward listening  
_Jason?_ He frowns, thinking he can hear his voice mixed with Sonny's.

He turns over on his side and looks at his phone checking the time _It's late!_ He realises how long he's been asleep.

He closes his eyes again "Awwww!" he groans as his stomach hurts and his back aches. He rolls to his side and sits up on the edge of the bed. Feeling hot, his face flushes with sweat as he holds his himself feeling this urgent rush to go to the bathroom.

He opens the door and shuffles in, standing himself over the toilet pan but frowning after he finds himself in the same familiar pattern as earlier, nothing coming out!

"Oh jeeez!" he frowns at the definite burning sensation and pain in his lower groin. It hurts so much, and he drops down on the floor pulling his knees up and closes his eyes.

Jason and Sonny are talking about what's gone on, and the situation with Ash. Sonny's fuming "If you don't kill him the next time he surfaces, then I will! Who the hell does he think he is?"

There's a knock on the door and Sonny answers, smiling at the sight of Trent and Jenna stood there. He lets them in.

Trent holds up a folded white paper bag "Doggie bagged you some food!"

"Oh man that's great, I'm starvin'!" Sonny grabs the leftovers and heads to the kitchen to eat. "God this steak burger, it's damn good!"

"Hey, don't eat it all, some of that's for Clay! Speaking of which how's he doing?" Trent indicates towards the bedroom.

Sonny shrugs, wiping the mustard mayo from his mouth "He's sleepin', we left him alone for a while, thought he could do with the peace!"

"Probably for the best. Has he said anything, you know about...?"

Sonny shakes his head and smiles at Jenna "Evenin' Mam! How'd dinner go with this big lump?"

"It was good!" she smiles at Trent.

As she now looks at Jason her face turns to a scowl and he can tell she's still annoyed by coughs "You get here okay?"

She nods but there's an awkward tension.  
They may hate on Ash but she still thinks Jason went too far, and now she's not sure how to respond or what to say about the whole situation. But no matter how uncomfortable it might make things between them all she feels the need to say something  
"You know you fighting with his father, it's not going to help Clay. You need to sort things out, make the peace" she sighs still frowning at him "For you, as much as Clay!"

Jason chews the gum in his mouth he knows the part about Clay is right but there's no way in hell that he'll admit it "With all respect you don't know Ash and he deserves what he gets, it's been coming for long time!"

She sighs again he really annoys her now "That may be so, but Clay needs your help right now. Can't you see he's hurting. This is tough on him; it's going to knock his confidence. Whether he sees it or not, it was ... abuse and he needs you to show him that he's not to blame, but he also needs to remain in some control. And you fighting with his father is not going to put him in a good place, he'll feel like he has to choose between you!"

Jason frowns at her "Hey, team comes before everything! We're all the family he needs!"  
He makes the choice that he's going to ignore what she says now "You want a beer Trent?" he heads to the kitchen and opens the refrigerator

Trent looks at Jenna, his look and smile are trying to apologise for Jason's tone and she cautiously smiles back accepting "Look,do you mind if I use the bathroom?"

Sonny frowns, the atmosphere is tense "Sure, just ... Clay's asleep but it's through there!"

She heads to the bathroom, stopping in the small bedroom looking around, she's confused she doesn't see Clay on the bed but the bathroom door is a jar and she knocks gently pushing it ever so slightly.  
"Don't come in!" he calls out desperately, sitting on the floor, still doubled in pain.

She can see the reflection of him in the mirror, he's still sitting on the floor by the pan. She gasps "Clay!... Clay it's Jenna! Are you okay?"

He looks up panicked by the sound of her voice and without realising he's doing it he grabs at his hand, tightening his grip around his bandage, squeezing it hard, causing it to hurt. He's found it as a new way to stop the pain he feels.  
He stares as his eyes meet hers in the doorway. For one moment he wonders if he's hallucinating again.

She can see the fear he exhibits, so she lowers her voice as she calls, softly, to him  
"Clay... It's okay, it's Jenna, remember from the hospital" she frowns wondering he's okay, the pale haunted look of shock and almost a fear in his face.

"Stay there!" he puts his hand up stopping her in her tracks

"Alright, I'm not coming in" she pauses thinking "I'll be back in a moment!"

He sighs and relaxes as she pulls the door to close.

She heads through to the living room where the guys are still talking. Trent smiles at her "Everything okay?" he frowns watching her face  
"So hey guys... I was just thinking, why don't you all go _out _for a beer? Just for bit, I mean I'm sure Sonny you could do with some time out? You've been cooped up here, would do you good don't you think? I'll keep an eye on Clay!" She smiles staring at Trent.

"He okay?" Jason frowns, her sudden suggestion causing him some concern.

"Yeah, yeah he's fine, he's ... he's just in the bathroom I talked with him, he said he's fine!" she smiles awkwardly

Jason still not feeling reassured "I'm gonna see him, check he's okay!"

"Look..." she puts her hand on him holding him in place " .. he probably won't want to be overwhelmed by questions right now. Just, go get some air" she stares at him and though it pains her, she smiles at him.

Trent picks up on her hint and puts his beer down "Yeah come on guys, I'm sure she can manage after all I that's why I asked her to come!"

Sonny laughs, standing his empty bottle on the table "Oh! That's the line you're stickin' with is it and I thought you asked her to come cos you wanted to get her in the sack!" He slaps him across the shoulders and laughs, Trent feels awkward and just glares at him.

"What?" Sonny frowns then laughs "Truth though, right!" he smiles at Jenna "Sorry that was a bad joke, I apologise, come on Jace, lets get a proper beer!"

Jenna laughs smiling at Sonny "Just go, I'll be fine, I'll make some coffee. Anyway, if that's the standard of your joke then Clay can probably do with some space from you!"

Sonny laughs at her quip "I'll errm... I'll just say goodbye to him!"

"Why don't you just leave him, he's in the bathroom, doesn't need loads of you crowding him!" She hurries to usher them out of the door, stopping Trent before he leaves "Trent... "she smiles taking hold of his arm "Just... just keep them out for a while" she frowns at him

"Is he okay?" Trent looks concern

She shakes her head "I'm not sure! Just give me some time with him! I'll call you in a bit"

He looks at her, they are close as she speaks watching over his shoulder as she notices the others waiting in the corridor for him. She puts her hand to his cheek "He'll be fine!"

Something comes over Trent, he's not sure if it's a caring warmth of her voice, or her touch but he suddenly plants a kiss gently on her lips. It's so unlike him, and he immediately pulls back, as she flinches. He looks at her awkwardly "Sorry! I just umm..."

"It's okay!" she smiles, as she nods toward the others "Just go!"

As they leave she takes a deep breath, closes the apartment door and then forgetting about herself and Trent, she hurries back to the bathroom.

Gently she pushes it to open the door again, only to find him sitting on the side of the bath.  
She can't help but notices his pants undone. "Do you need to ...use the bathroom, shall I leave you?"

He frowns for some reason he's unsure about everything, unsure if he needs to go because he does, but he can't, and he's also unsure if he wants her to leave.  
"Yeah!" he stands up gripping at his stomach before he sits down again unable to stand "Aaahhh!" he grimaces

"Clay!" she frowns concerned by the look of pain in his face "Are you okay?"

"Yeah! Yeah, just leave me, it's just a cramp!"

"Clay look at me, that looks more than just a cramp. Can you tell me where it hurts?" her expression summing up her worry for him.

"No! No, just leave me. I'm fine!" He closes his eyes. He wants to tell her what's wrong and he comes close, but he can't.

"Clay, you know whatever it is, you can tell me. Please trust me... anything!"She smiles trying to reassure him  
"Clay I know what you're going through, please let me help you." She notices him also holding his bandaged hand "Is your hand hurting?"

He hesitates then nods, then changes his mind, shaking it "I don't know, it just hurts, everything hurts!" he doubles over again a knotted burning pressure in his lower stomach that aches  
"I just need to... You know,go!"

She nods and goes back into the bedroom where she waits, sitting on the bed until eventually he wanders out.  
"You okay? You've been in there for nearly fifteen minutes, not that it matters but is something wrong?"  
She frowns looking at the expression on his pale and sweaty face "Clay, sit down... Are you not well? Please just tell me, we can fix this, but you have to tell me what's wrong"

He closes his eyes takes a deep breath than feeling his cheeks flush with embarrassment he tells her " I can't go!" he feels like he wants to cry, the burning constant pressure in his stomach is relentless now

"Can't go?" She frowns for a moment until she understands "Oh right! Okay, so how long has it been?"

"I haven't been, properly, since I came back, the little I have, it burns like hell!"

"Oh, jeez Clay!" she sighs "And you didn't tell Trent or anyone?" she stares at him "You must be in a lot of pain. Can I take a look?"

"Look?" he frowns concerned

" I mean feel your stomach."

He reluctantly nods, as she moves the pillows on the bed, making it more comfortable for him "Here lie down!"

Hesitating for a moment as thoughts flash around in head. His pants are still unbuttoned, and she lays her hands on his tender but swollen abs.

He flinches from her touch as she moves her hand lower, and she can see the apprehension, feeling his body tense. "It's okay!" she smile "I won't do it if you don't want?" she questions him for permission

"It's fine!" he closes his eyes turning his head, his face flushed with the pure embarrassment of finding himself in this predicament. He's gripping at the top of his arm concentrating on the pain in his arm, zoning out and forgetting about her.

She frowns, watching him "Your arm hurt? Only you keep holding it"

"Not really" he shakes his head "It...it just aches a bit."

"I'll take a look in minute. You got any medical supplies here, bandages? I guess you must doing what you do, knocks and scrapes are an everyday thing I'd say" She's trying to engage him in conversation as she gently feels at him rounds his bladder "You have any back pain?"

He softens, his body relaxing to the sound of her voice, her kindness soothing him "A little I suppose"

"Clay..."she sighs ".. we need to get you to hospital!"

"No! No." he sits up aggressively pushing her away.

She puts her hand on him trying to hold him in place "Clay, listen to me. You need to go, you've probably got an infection, it can turn serious!" she frowns  
"Clay please! ...I know you don't want to, and I know it's not nice, but you need something to relive that pressure! Something to help you go. We need to fix this!" She sighs again "You're going to be ill if you don't!"

"Fix me? What do you mean fix me?" he frowns as the panic comes back "Like what?"

She concerned about carefully choosing her words "They'll need to ummm... drain it, like before." she sighs "then, if you have got an infection they'll probably start you on some stronger antibiotics. But they'll need to examine you and see what's going on"

"No! No, it's okay I just... Let me just go again, I feel like I can go now!" he stands up and heads in the bathroom locking the door this time.

She sighs, she's frustrated with him but determined to stay calm. "Clay please, listen to me !" she calls through the door

"I'm not going to hospital Jenna!"  
He pulls down his shorts and stands over the pan again, this time as he bears down, he forces some water out, but it burns so badly, causing more pain that his body tenses up, shutting down then nothing  
"Oh please!" he cries leaning, hot, sweating beading on his forehead which he rests on his arm as he leans on the wall behind the toilet.

"Clay!" Jenna drops to a sitting position on the floor beside the bathroom door "Clay, talk to me! Have you been drinking ..I mean fluids, water?"

He hesitates before he answers her, dropping himself down to the floor " , I thought it would make it worse!"

"Well you need you to drink, to keep you hydrated or this is going to get serious, very quickly. Clay, please come out"  
She sighs "Look Clay, I understand, I really do! I know what you're going through, please let me help you"

"I can't .. I mean can't be like this, Jenna. With what I do I can't be like this. I need to be fixed"

"I know. Clay I know, but this is not your fault .. that drug it's very powerful, but even without that you've been through an ordeal!"

He stands up and sits on the edge of the bath, again squeezing at his bandaged hand. Grimacing at the pain. He holds, then releases and repeats. The release makes him smile, the release makes him feel good.  
"I should be able to deal with this, be in control! For god sake, I'm a grown man, a SEAL, how did I get like this?"

She sighs, letting out a long breath, hesitant "Clay...Clay, I'm going to tell you something and not many people know this, so I'd appreciate if you don't say anything to Trent and the others"

He looks up, looking at the closed door listening to her voice, he likes her voice it calms him, makes him feel like everything might be alright. "Okay, sure. I won't say anything "

She takes a breath "I've been where you are, well not exactly where you are!" she laughs , trying to break some of the emotional tension now filling her body.  
"But the situation was similar. I had boyfriend... fiancée, he said he loved me .. I err mm... I let him do things, not pleasant things, that make me feel sick now. But then when I said no he didn't stop, he'd get violent, control me, make me do those things. He'd tell me he was sorry and that he loved me, and I thought I loved him. He promised to get help, but he didn't. Then he really hurt me one day and I ended up in ER and ... then I realised he didn't really love me, he controlled me."

She sighs pausing, not even sure if he's listening "That's what hurts I let someone control me, because I thought I loved them, and I couldn't stop it. That's what Ann Marie's done to you, you didn't notice it at first because you loved her, and she probably said she wouldn't do it again."

As she stops talking, looking at her hands with are nervously shaking in her lap "And that's the hard thing to deal with" she pauses again, a reflective silence "Clay... please come out. Please let me help you!"

There's a silence for a while then she hears the click of the door lock and he stands in the doorway.

She smiles at him as she stand up  
"Come sit down." She runs her hand on the bed indicating a space for him to sit

"You need some help. And I know, I know it's embarrassing for you, people pulling at you and I imagine as a man, who does what you do, a man that has to be tough, in the worst of conditions, this must be really hard. But it's not your fault?" she puts her hand on his arm reassuring him with her touch.

"Jenna, how do I face them?"

She frowns, watching his pitiful sad eyes "Face them?"

"The team, the guys ... I mean, what're they going to think? I bet I'm a laughingstock! Someone whose girlfriend..." he closes his eyes ashamed "What are people going to say when they find out?"

"Clay, from what I see, the guys are just worried about you they want you to get better" she takes a deep intake of breath "Clay you're the victim here, you just need some help to feel better!"

"Victim!... " he breaths fast that word panics him "Do you know how that sounds?!" He shakes his head and grips at his arm so hard now grinding his teeth to the pain.

She frowns, she can see his face flood with pain and he looks like he might pass out "Let me look at that arm, come on take this T-shirt off!"

He sighs, pulling away, looking at her but he can't take it off not in front of her now, he's nervous.

"Okay! It's okay, leave it on it's fine. I'll roll the sleeve up!" she smiles "You got some bandages?"

"Yeah, in the cabinet in the bathroom"

She smiles, she can feel his tension, his insecurity "Perhaps I'll make us a coffee first, yeah?"

He nods, hesitant, but he nods, his mind wondering how he's going to drink it

"It's fine, we're going to sort you out, Clay. I promise!" she holds his hand and he smiles as he grips her hand tight in his .


	38. Chapter 38

**This is just a little connecting teaser update for you all. Just while I finish editing the next part!  
Sorry two ongoing stories I'm trying to give them both attention. Hope you're all still reading as you've all gone very quiet out there! **

**Okay here we go ...**

**Chapter 38: Chief what's going on? **

Roberts is opening the new packet of nicotine gum he just bought as he heads out of the store, at the gas station where they stopped.

He's watching Malone as he finishes pumping the gas, then heads back to the store to pay "You want anything else Chief?"

Roberts raises his head "No, no I'm good! "he holds up his packet of gum and soda as he waits by the side of the car for him to return. Chewing furiously, on the gum as he watches the large blue truck pull up next to him at the opposite pump.

"Chief Roberts!" he looks around at the sound of his name called

"Al!" he smiles acknowledging him "How the hell are you?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm good!" the large bearded man steps from the truck "How are ya Chief?" he smiles "Busy? Guess you are , I see all the patrol cars up the hill, at the lake lodges. What the hell's going on up there?"

"Oh you know" Roberts shrugs "just investigating a few things!" he laughs, cautious with his answer to the question

"Somethin' serious?" Al frowns trying to get some information "Only I just got stopped, and questioned the way down!"

"Yeah...yeah, we got a bit of a situation up there, but it's in hand! You been fishin' ?"

"Yeah look at these beauties!" he opens the back of the truck to show him the four large fish he's caught "I been up there all week. Just me, drinkin' and fishin'! Me and the ol' lady had a bit of tiff so...I went up there to let her cool down"  
He laughs as he closes the truck up "So what's going on up there?"

"We got a bit of a situation" Roberts sniffs "Al, you been up there all week, right? You seen anything suspicious? Anyone that shouldn't be up there?"

"Nah, just the normal folk" he frowns "Is this to do with Mcready?"

"What makes you say that?" Roberts furrows his forehead suddenly more interested.

"Just... hadn't seen him for the last couple days. Normally I see him every day when he's up there. I thought maybe he'd gone home but... ?"

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"err..." He sighs thinking "I dunno ... I saw him was a couple nights ago. We were both doing a spot of night fishin'" he frowns "Why has somethin' happened?"

"Did you speak to him?"

"No. No, he was across the water. My lodge is across the other side from his. Chief is he okay?" he frowns a little concerned

"Al this is important, when was the last time you saw him?"

"Ummm... couple nights ago" he frowns "I don't know I can't remember exactly. As I said I've been doin' a lot of drinkin' this week, not much sleepin' so I kinda lost track of the days, but yeah, I'd say a couple of nights"  
He starts filling his truck with gas, slightly concerned by the questioning "To be fair I think he's got a new woman! Guess as they say, there's someone for everyone!" he laughs "Wish my old lady would come fishin' might stop some of the arguments, but she hates it!"

"He's got a woman?" Roberts frowns "You saw this woman, you talk to her?"

"No, no as I say they were across the lake, we didn't speak. I just put my hand up" he frowns more wondering where this is leading "Am I gettin' myself in trouble here Chief?"

"No, no just asking some questions" he smiles trying to reassure him but his mind is thinking the conversation over "You ever seen him with any other women?"

"No. I'm only guessin' she was his girlfriend, I mean for a woman to be out in the boat, that late at night, she gotta be kinda crazy about him, right?" he laughs

"Can you describe his woman?" Roberts looks round as Malone comes to his side

"Hey Al, how's it goin' ?"

"Yeah I'm good Maurice!" He smiles as he continues to answer Roberts question "No, I couldn't really see her that well. It was late, dark, there's no light up there and besides they was too far across, but... she was a blonde I could see that"  
He frowns watching Roberts face thinking "What the hell's gone on up there is McCready alright?"

"No! No, McCready's dead." Roberts sighs

"Dead! Jeeez... what the hell happened?"

"We don't know yet. But you say him and this woman, it was two nights ago?"

"Yeah like I said I think so!" Al nods as he finishes pumping his gas "Look I gotta go, Chief "

"Yeah, yeah sure! Look Al, we might need to ask you some more questions, so don't skip town!"

Al laughs "Well you know where to find me! I'm not going anywhere!" he frowns "Nice seein ya Chief. Maurice, see you soon!" he smiles cautiously before he walks away

Malone nods as he looks back at his boss "Chief, surely you don't think Al had something to do with McCready's death, do you?" he frowns watching him.

"No,no I don't think so!"  
Roberts is now lost in his thoughts, standing there thinking, staring at the truck with the fishing gear on the back "Come on Malone, let's get going, it getting late!"

**o-o-o-o-o-o**

They pull out of the gas station and he's still mulling over the conversation he just had "So, Al saw him alive a couple of nights ago. He said he was in his boat fishing with a girl. So who do we think this girl is?"

"I don't know" Malone shrugs "Guess it must have been the girl we found dead?"

Roberts pulls the car over and parks on the side of the highway. He's just sitting and staring out of the windshield, watching the traffic drive up and down the road. He's lost in his thoughts and they both sit there in silence

"Somethin' wrong Chief" Malone frowns watching the blank expression on his bosses face he looks around at the spot where they are stopped "What are we doin' here? Don't we need to get goin' ?" Roberts is still quiet, and Malone continues to stare at him.

"Malone, how'd he get his fishing gear there?"

"What?" Malone swings round and looks confused by the question

"Al, he had his truck loaded with gear, so how did McCready get his fishing gear there?"

"I dunno!" he shrugs "Maybe he keeps it at he lodge, stores it there for when he drives up? What's the fishin' gear gotta do with anything?"

"No, not the fishin' gear, how he got it there! How did he get there? You said he drives up, yeah? I mean it's too far to walk, so how'd he drive up there?"

"I don't know, maybe he gets a lift? Chief what's this about?" Malone frowns unable to get the point of the questions

"Get a lift, a lift with who? You said his father said he was due back, makes it sound like he was driving back, right?"

"Maybe, yeah I guess, I dunno? Chief, am I missing something here?"

Roberts thinks, sitting in silence a while longer "Where's his vehicle? If he drove up there where the hell is his vehicle?" they frown at each other " I never saw a vehicle at the lodge did you?"

"Ummm well... no, now you mention it I didn't!"  
Malone is frowning, tentatively wondering if he's missing something in this conversation "Chief what's going on?"

"I don't know but we need to go back!"

Much to Malone's confusion Roberts turns the car around and starts to head back down the road

"Call his father. Find out what he drives, then get on to the squints, get them to check for Ann Marie's DNA in the boat. Someone else was up at that lodge and I think they took his vehicle. We need to find it!"


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39: Worried about Clay **

"How'd you go"

Clay shakes his head "No good!" he lets out a deep breath, holding the door frame. His stomach aches, his face pale and he really doesn't feel well.

"Here, sit!" she sighs, smoothing the covers on the bed "Clay, I'm worried about you. Please let me take you but let's just go to the hospital now"

He hesitates, he knows he should "I can't ... I can't Jenna!" he sighs shaking his head as he lays back on the bed. "What about if you do it... you know" he grips at her hand."You could do it here!"

She looks down at his hand then back at his face. His skin sallow,eyes sunken deep in their sockets and she's worried by how sad he looks  
"No Clay, I can't" she sighs, biting her lip thinking over his request for help "For one thing, I don't have the equipment and you need to get checked out! You're probably gonna need some antibiotics as well "

"Please!" he almost begs now "Trent could get you what you need!"

"Clay..." She takes a deep breath "No! If something was to go wrong. Sorry Clay but, you _need_ the hospital, a doctor. I'm just a nurse"

"Ahhh!" He groans in pain as he grips tighter at her hand "You did it before!"

She sighs, still thinking "Look, I'll stay with you if you'll let me take you, but don't ask me this, because I can't"

She looks around, the door clicks open and the sound of voices fills the apartment as Jason, Sonny and Trent stand in the main doorway. They're laughing and joking as they return from the bar, now looking much more refreshed and relaxed than when they left but that's all about to changes as they notice her looking at them nervously.

"Hey!" Trent frowns, he's watching her, staring at the worried look on her face.

"Hey!" she smiles back, trying to look confident but giving away her anxiety.

"What's going on?" Both Trent and Jason frown as they watch Clay lying there "Is he okay, only he doesn't look good?" Trent frowns

She looks at Clay and sighs "Clay please!"

"No!" he shakes his head, his forehead starting to bead with sweat "No! Jenna I can't. I don't want to!"

She closes her eyes trying to weigh up what to do. Jason looks at Trent then at her, then back to Trent "Okay Trent what's going on?"

She swallows hard "He's not well! I'm sorry Clay" she turns to look at Trent "He needs to go hospital"

"What's wrong with him?" Jason frowns looking at her then at Clay "You alright?" he questions him

"Yeah, I'm fine!" Clay smiles trying to reassure them while at the same time trying not to grimace with the pain.

"Well you don't look fine" he turns looking at Jenna "What the hell's the matter with him?"

She looks back at Clay who's shaking his head "Look, for his privacy I don't wanna say, but he needs to be checked!"

"Then what's the problem" he shrugs "He goes to hospital! Simple as! Sonny..." he shouts through to the living area "... give us a hand. Let's get him up!"

"NO!" Clay sits up, still clutching at his stomach "I said no! All of you just leave me alone!"he snaps at them angrily

"Whoa! Just hold on Spenser, what's Trent got to say about this?"

"Yeah, sorry Clay, but if Jenna says she needs to go then ...you must need to go! She knows what she's talking about."

"Hey golden boy, don't argue! If I have to damn well pick you up and take you we will!" Sonny frowns wondering _Why the hell Clay's being so stubborn?_

"NO! I'm not going! You can't just come in here and do this!"

"What the hell is the problem here? You're going and that's an order" Jason steps forward, grabbing at Clay's arm and tussling with him.

"Jason!" Jenna puts her hand on him holding him back "Just wait! You don't need to do it like this! Please, this isn't going to help anything."

"Does he need to go or not?" Jason's twists round staring at her his tone is stern and overpowering. He glares and she reluctantly nods "Fine, then he goes!"

Jenna can see the angry look of annoyance that Jason has as Trent steps between them, using his body to shield Jenna from Jason's sudden aggressive stance.

Trent looks at Clay, he can see how pale his face is, the sweat on his brow, the on and off red flush of his cheeks "He's running a temperature by the looks of him" he looks at Jason "Can we have a minute?"

"Sure, but Trent, if you say he needs to go, then we take him, no ifs, no buts. That's an order!"

Trent nods as Jason leaves the room, he looks at Jenna and speaks more calmly "Okay what's going on?"

Jenna sighs. "You know him acting like that, it's not helping!" she sighs "I think Clay's got an infection, I think, he ummm... " she hesitates, lowering the tone of her voice acutely aware of being sensitive to Clay's feelings. "He hasn't umm... urinated properly since he came back. Did he not mention it to you?"

Trent glances awkwardly at Clay then his eyes come back to Jenna "No, he just said he was fine" he frowns  
"Hey! You didn't mention any problems to me?" he sighs, running his hand over his face, wondering how he missed the problem "Clay why the hell didn't you say something before now?"

Clay looks away embarrassed. Just sitting there, now rubbing at his bandaged hand.

"Trent" she puts her hand on his arm "Just go easy on him okay, he's going through a rough time!"

Trent nods "Yeah you're right." He sighs "Clay look, you need the hospital, I'm sorry. It's the only way to sort this"

Clay puts his legs over the edge of the bed and heads to the bathroom. He's shaky on his feet grabbing at his arm. He's squeezing it so tight, giving himself so much pain then releasing. It distracts his mind from everything, especially the thoughts of going to the hospital "No! No, I'm not going! You can't do this to me!"

Trent looks at Jenna as the door to the bathroom slams shut "Why the hell's he being so stubborn? He must know it's for the best!"

"Trent!" she puts her hand on his arm "I know you're worried but give him a few minutes. Just let him calm down and he'll come around!" she smiles, she can see Trent's face still full of anxiety "Hey! You couldn't have known, not if he didn't say anything!"

"I should have seen there was something going on with him" he closes his eyes letting out a long sigh "I'm the team medic, it's my job to make sure they're all okay!"

"Hey come on, Trent this is not your fault!" she smiles at him before leading him back to living room to wait. Jason's pacing and Sonny sits perched on the arm of the couch.

"So? Does he need to go to hospital or not?" Jenna and Trent just look at each other as Jason frowns asking again "Trent, I asked you a question! Does... he... need.. to go?"

Trent nods "Yeah, yeah he does"

"Right!" Jason sniffs, trying to control the annoyed aggression he's now feeling, all part of his mixed-up fears for Clay. He shakes his head "I can't believe you didn't see this earlier! I told you to keep an eye on him!"

Trent shrugs "I know, but he kept saying he was fine!"

"He said he was _fine_ and you just took his word for it?" Jason mockingly laughs "Well does he look fine? Hmmm, does he?" he sighs trying to calm himself "Tell me Trent do you think he seems fine to you?"

"No!" Trent sits on the chair, his head in his hands as Jason paces around him.

"NO?! No, you're right Trent he doesn't seem fine, he a fuckin' mess!"

"Alright" Jenna frowns as she steps between them "Just calm down! Taking this out on Trent is not going to help anyone!"  
The lines on her forehead furrow deeper and she sighs. The more she sees of Jason's attitude the more she doesn't like it "You know all this behaviour of yours, it's not helping anyone!"

Jason lets out a long sigh rubbing his face "Okay, I'm sorry. Trent, I didn't mean it!"

"So, what do we do?" Sonny asks. He's so worried he just wants to be able to do something to help.

Jason runs both hands through is hair "Okay, well first we need to take him to the hospital then we'll take it from there." he sighs again "Trent call Blackburn, make the arrangements you need with the base"  
He looks at Jenna then pushes her to one side as he heads to the bedroom.

Jenna puts her head down "I wish I'd helped him like he wanted now! I mean it's not that I can't do it, but.. but not here, this is not the right place." she shakes her head "I'm sorry!"

"Hey this is not on you!" Trent stares her deep in the eyes. Placing both his hands on each of her arms he smiles at her "You're right, he needs antibiotics and treatment. You did everything you could"

They all stop their conversation and look up at the sudden loud crash that comes from the bathroom "What the hell was that?" Sonny stands up.

They go to the bedroom. Jason's at the door to the bathroom "Clay!" he calls though the locked door but gets no answer to his knocking  
"Clay! Clay can you hear me. Are you alright?" still he gets no reply "Something's happened!"

"Stand back!" Sonny pushes between them and begins barging at the door, shoving hard, panicked by the quiet from inside.  
At first it doesn't give at all then second try, as he thuds his arm harder against it he can feel it start to buckle.

"Come on Sonny, get it open!" Jason then helps lumping with his shoulder, giving even more force to it  
"Clay!" Sonny calls out as he forces again. This time the lock splits the wood in the door frame and with one more heavy thud from both of them the door breaks open. "Clay!"

As the door forces open Trent rushes inside to the unconscious Clay collapsed on the floor. His head is bleeding from where he hit the countertop on his way down.  
"We need an ambulance!" Trent checks his breathing and carefully turns him over "Clay-Clay can you hear me?"

He groans slightly as he starts to come around "Ahhh...what's going on?"

"You okay? What happened?" he checks his pulse, his hearts beating fast and he feels really hot "It's okay, we're going to sort you out!"

Clay shakes head "No, no I'm fine!"

"Clay, shut the hell up and keep still!" Sonny looks at Trent "You wanna get him out of here?"

"Yeah let's get him on up the bed!"

Sonny gets his arms, under his shoulders as Jason and Trent take his legs and they lift him and get him on the bed. "Careful, careful!"

Jenna sighs. She covers him over; his pants are still undone but she also notices he's wet through.  
She frowns as she checks the bathroom and can see the large puddle of liquid where he laid. She frowns more as she thinks about the situation, she also grabs what she can of bandages and dressings from the cabinet.

Trent checks his eyes, while Jenna tends to the bleeding gash on his forehead. She looks at Trent their eyes meet, they're both really concerned about him.

Jason's eyes flicker rapidly back and forward between them "Okay give me a sitrep here Trent!" He frowns at them both. He can see something's bothering them "So? What is it ? He need to go?"

Trent nods his head he knows "He's not gonna like it though"

Jason frowns "To hell with what he likes! We do what's best for him!"

**o-o-o-o-o-o**

The apartment door is wide open as the paramedics arrive. Sonny and Jason backing off but continuing to pace in the living room, while Trent and Jenna are engrossed in conversation with them.

"No!" Clay shakes his head "No, I'm staying here!" There's an anxious panicked pain to his voice.

Jenna takes his hand in hers as she tries to reassure him "Clay please just let them help you"

"God damn it!" He squeezes at his arm again. He can now feel the wet of his trousers seeping through to his skin, aware and conscious of what's happened.

"Is your arm hurting?" the paramedic asks

"No ..no I'm fine it's nothing, I told you I'm fine"

"Hey! Jason shouts from the doorway "Just shut the hell up and let them do their job, you're going ...no arguments!"

Jenna smiles trying to reassure him "You want me to come with you?" she takes his hand, removing it from the top of his arm.

He reluctantly nods  
"Okay!" she smiles "It's going to be fine. Once they sort you out you'll feel a lot more comfortable and then you can concentrate on getting better" she sighs as they lift him on the trolley to take him away

"Trent..." she catches his arm "Did you ummm.. noticed.. the wet?" she frowns "I'm worried. Worried some of this is in his head. That maybe he was holding himself, psychologically, like a control thing"

"No?" he frowns at her "You think? But all that time? Not to mention the discomfort? Why would he do that? No.. it can't be that."

"I don't know ... there's definitely something not right! I mean have you noticed how he keeps clutching at his arm, even though he says he's not in pain?"  
She sighs again "Trent, he's not coping. I think he thinks being a man, doing what you do, this shouldn't have happened and he's struggling with it."  
Trent stares at her as she frowns, her face full of the same concern he has "He's gonna need some help to get over this!"

"Hey, don't worry!" he smiles "He'll be okay, we got this! We'll be there for him"

"Trent you're gonna need to tread carefully on this. Jason's constant aggression.. it's not gonna help. He's not just gonna _snap _out of it, just fix because Jason tells him to!"

"I know" he puts his hand on her arm "Jason's just worried, he doesn't know how to deal with it, none of us do, we overcome physical problems, shut the other stuff out. Jason just wants to protect him; I know he's be blaming himself, for not being there for not preventing this"

She nods "Okay well just make sure you keep him in line, last thing Clay needs is being bullied and you only have to look at Ash to see how out of hand Jason can get!"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Clay wakes in the hospital bed. They've transferred him to the Navy hospital on the base.

He opens his eyes and groans, putting his hand down to his stomach. He can feel that now familiar dull painful ache in his groin. The one that only comes with having a tube  
"Oh no!" he sighs closing his eyes and realizing what's happened. He pushes his head back against the pillow, feeling incredibly sick and spaced out.

"Hey!" Jenna smiles at him "You okay?"

"Oh hey, am I glad to see you! Where am I?" he frowns "Why are you here?"  
He wonders for a moment if he's back in Jenna's hospital and if the rest of what happened was a dream, another hallucination.

"You're at the base hospital!" she flashes her badge at him "Trent got me special permission to come see you" she smiles as she holds his hand "How are you feeling?"

"I feel sick, bit spaced out"

"That'll be the Morphine and painkillers they gave you" she smiles "You got any pain now?"

"Not pain more like ... " he sighs trying to move "...I feel sore" he sighs pushing his head deeper into the pillow.  
He looks at his arm lines of drips coming out of it but this time his hand feels free. He can feel his fingers moving and he looks down and checks it noticing now it only has a light dressing on his palm.

"Yeah you'll be a bit uncomfortable. You're running a temperature and you've got a bit of an infection going on" she notices him looking at his hand, wiggling his fingers gently  
"And yeah they took the bandages off" she smiles reassuring him "They said you hand is healing nicely, if you leave it alone. The burn wasn't as deep as they thought and there's movement in the fingers So should all be okay!" she smiles again "That's good right?"

Clay lets out a sigh "Does that mean I can get back to work?"

She laughs "Yeah maybe! but umm... you have a bit of a way to go yet " she frowns "Clay don't rush it give yourself sometime"

He shakes his head "I need to get back, I can't... I can't sit in hospital bed again, not after the time out with my leg. I need to be operating, keep my head clear and focused!"

"And you will, you just have to heal first" she turns filling the glass with water "You need to drink some of this"

"No, I'm okay thanks!"

"Clay, you need to drink. You've got a bladder infection you need to keep the fluids up; help flush it out!"

"Is that what this tube and bag is all about" he frowns at her

"Yeah, it'll just be short term, don't worry. You passed out; do you remember?"

He shakes his head "No, not really. I can't think. I sort of ... I .. " he sighs frustrated

"Okay!" she rests her hand on his arm "It doesn't matter! The guys should be back soon. Trent text and said they'd landed"

"What? They got spun up. How long have I been here?"

"They've only been gone a day and a bit!"

He nods trying to put his life of the past few days back together "So how come you're here?"

"I err mmm... I took some extra time off! I told Trent I'd stay till you woke up. You gave us all a scare!" she smiles still really worried about him "I never had a vacation in a hospital before!" she laughs

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean... "

"It's okay, I'm just joking!" she holds his arm looking around at the cell phone that vibrates on the side  
"Oh by the way..." she points at it ".. Jason left your phone. It was in with some of your things the police sent back that they recovered from the lodge."  
She unplugs it from the wall socket "I put it on charge in case you wanted it. You've had quite a few calls, you might wanna call some back later?"

He takes the phone from her and looks at it. The screen is filled with the missed calls and texts, a lot of unknown numbers, Jason, Sonny's left some messages and Ash! he sighs wrinkling his forehead with disapproval "Yeah I'll deal with them later. Jenna can I ask you something?"

"Yeah sure. You okay? " she frowns

"Yeah I'm good." he sighs "Did they find her?... Ann Marie, did the police find her yet?"

"Err mm .. I haven't heard. No one's told me. I could try giving Maurice, one of the Detectives a call, see if he'll tell me anything, but really you don't need to worry about that right now."

"I just wondered, you know if..." He closes his eyes trying to put her out of his mind "When do they think I'm getting out of here?"

"Well possibly later today or tomorrow" she smiles "They're just waiting for that drip to go through then they said they'd assess everything and then if you're feeling up to it.. we can see. Trent and me said we'd keep an eye on you if you can come home"

She turns as Sonny arrives at the doorway "Hey, Goldilocks, how you doin'?"

Clay looks away embarrassed, trying to pull the sheet over himself Jenna notices the awkwardness and helps by straightening the sheets up.

"Look I have some things to do I'll check back with you later. Give you two some time!" she squeezes his arm again "I'm sure Sonny will keep you company, perhaps even tell you some bad jokes" she smiles as she looks Sonny in the eyes. She can see his apprehension, unsure what to do or say.

Her nursing instinct cuts in as she smiles trying to reassure him as well. "Just take it easy, don't get too heavy! He'll be fine!"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

As she walks down the corridor she meets up with Trent "Hey!"

"Hey how are you?" he smiles

"Yeah I'm good. You all get back okay?" she frowns looking at the large red cut on Trent's arm

"Yeah, nothing major. Few cuts and scrapes" he sighs "How's he doing?"

"Yeah!" She nods "He's on the mend. Should be able to come home later today or tomorrow" She looks at her watch "Look I err mmm ... I need be somewhere. Shall I call you later?"

"Be somewhere?" he frowns "Where? I thought you didn't know anyone here?"

"I don't, really... I just... " she pause awkwardly wondering if she should admit where she's going "I just want to check on something" she smiles hoping he doesn't question further but he's suspicious of her words

"Jenna?" he frowns "What's going on?"

She sighs "I ummm... Look don't get mad, but I wanted to check on Ash. I called him!" she frowns she can see the look on his face "Trent, he was in a bad way. I just ...wanted to see that he was alright" she shrugs

"What? Why the hell would you want to check on him? You didn't tell Jason what you're doing did you?"

"No! No, not that it's got anything to do with him. I'd just feel better if I saw he was alright!"

He frowns and sighs "You know you don't have to do that!"

"I know but... Trent he is Clay's father, and somewhere along the line, in helping Clay heal, they will need to talk"  
She stares at him "Don't look at me like that you know as well as I do it's no good just cutting him off. The situation with them it has to be dealt with!"

"Hmmm I know but... Jenna I'd rather you just left it for now" he puts his hand to her cheek "Please! Jason really won't like it if he finds out. He wants us to cut Ash off."

She laughs, shaking her head "And since when do I answer to Jason? I'm sorry Trent, you asked me to come here to help, and ... well, I just need to check on him!"

"Okay, alright. Are you going to the hotel he's staying at? Cos I was gonna take you for lunch I could meet you there?"

"No, no I spoke to him. He said he was going home today. He says the media have calmed down"

Trent takes her hand "Just, just be careful around Ash, he's not the good guy! He... I mean Clay and him... well it's complicated before all this!"

"I know" she kisses his cheek "I just want to see for myself if he's okay, talk to him about Clay, stop him doing anything stupid, if I can! Look I won't be long, then I'll let you buy me that lunch!" she smiles, kissing his cheek again

"Okay well call me when you're done, and I'll come get you"

"Okay... I will!"


	40. Chapter 40

** Chapter 40: I know what I saw **

Clay wakes in the hospital bed and he rubs at the ache that's forming in the front of his forehead. He blames his headache on the deep, drug induced, sleeps he keeps having since he's been here.  
He frowns, letting out a long and frustrated sigh before he sinks his head back deeper into his pillow.

Laying back in the bed trying to relax, he stares up at the ceiling. He hardly dares to move because when he does, there's a painful ache in his groin, which is caused by the tubes they've inserted, for the time being.

His frown creeps over his features as he listens to the weird breathing noises that fill the room. He laughs, turning his head and smiling as he watches Sonny who's sleeping soundly in the chair beside his bed. He's been there, unmoved, since they got back from the spin up.

The snoring sounds he's constantly emitting from his wide-open mouth are now starting to bother Clay. But as he lays still, silently watching him, he laughs again at the picture before him. He has to admit, that no matter how annoying Sonny's snoring is that in some ways, it's also giving him comfort, because it breaks the awful, lonely, silence that was making Clay feel so on edge.

"Argghhh!" He sighs as he breaths through his pain. A pain he's inflicting on himself as he grips at the top of his arm where it's bandaged.  
He's keeps holding and squeezing it so often now, that most of the time, he's not even aware of the pain he's causing. Now he's nipping it so hard that it makes him grimace in agony.

Slowly and steadily he releases the tension in his fingers, and with the rush of blood back into his muscle, is also a rush of pain, and as the feelings flow back it gives him the most weird feeling of pleasant relief. He closes his eyes, enjoying the sensation. The stress and tension in his head flows out of his body with the release of pain. Yes, it hurts like hell, but then when he does it again, it gives him a feeling that totally relaxes his body.

"Phewww!" he sighs. Then he frowns looking round at the side table, he's being interrupted by the sound of his phone vibrating.

He picks it up as he checks the time before he answers."Hello... " He listens but once again there's no reply "Hello?" There's nothing only silence in the background, and then the call clicks dead

"Hello? Who the hell is this?" He frowns even deeper, annoyed by the fact that it's the fourth time he's received a similar call. Mind, he's had several other calls from various media outlets, asking for his take on a story relating to his father.  
He sighs again wondering if this some more of the same. It irritates him but he dismisses it as he lays the phone back on the side table. Turning his head, watching as Sonny slowly wakes in the chair.

"Hey, what? Where the hell am I?" Sonny looks around the room, frantically trying to get the bearings of where he is .  
He was so tired after the mission that he crashed into a really deep sleep. Dreaming about a lot of weird things that now he doesn't actually remember where he is.

"Sonny! Sonny just relax. You're at the hospital with me. Remember?" Clay shakes his head; he can see the confusion in Sonny's expression. He smiles, wondering just who has the tension and anxiety here.

"Oh yeah!" Sonny rubs the sleep from his face as he frowns at Clay "Hey buddy, you okay?"

Clay smiles "Yeah, yeah I'm okay!"

Sonny sniffs, closing his eyes relaxing for a moment. He licks his tongue over his dry lips "You want me to grab us a coffee or somethin? You know, I could do with stretching my legs!"

"Sure, why not!" Clay smiles

Sonny adjusts his cap and stands up "Okay, I'll be right back! Hey..." he nods at Clay as he frowns "you heard from Trent and Jenna?"

"No. No, not for a while. I know Trent said they were gonna go for some lunch, so..."

Sonny smiles "Woah! Trent sure is keen on her. You know they'll be playin Medic and nurse soon!" Sonny winks as both he and Clay laugh "Mind, I can see the attraction!"

Clay smiles "Yeah, for sure she's a really nice person!"

"Nice person?" Sonny laughs "Oh, okay, right! And that's all you noticed about her?" Sonny smiles again but then seeing the awkward look on Clay's face he drops his smile to a frown "Oh hell, look Clay, I'm sorry I didn't mean nothin' by that! I guess with the whole Ann Marie thing.. look I'm sorry!"

Clay smiles "Look, it's okay Sonny" he reassures him "I know you didn't mean anything! I just gotta get my head round it all"

Sonny smiles, unsure how to deal with this emotional side of Clay "Look you hang fire. I'll go get us the coffee!"

Clay nods "Yeah it's not like I'm going anywhere is it!"  
He lifts the sheets looking below at the tubes still coming out of him and he leans his head back. Letting out a really frustrated sigh.

Sonny leaves him, glad to be disappearing down the corridor towards the coffee machines. 

Clay's alone, he lets out a long sigh.  
Now taking a moment to study his loosely bandaged fingers. Turning his hand over, gently stroking the burn marks. He flinches, pulling his hand away from his own touch. Even the feel of his light fingertips makes him smart in pain. _But that's good right? That I can feel pain, means my fingers still working?_

He decides that it's good, even if it's really painful right now.

He sighs again moving his hand up to the top of his arm, and once again he pinches at the bandaged area hard, he keeps holding it, not loosening his grip, squeezing _really _hard this time.

"Arrrghhhh! Shit!" He closes his eyes as a searing pain rushes though him. It's more than he anticipated  
"Fuck!" He keeps his eyes closed because the hurt just won't stop this time. Now he worries he might have gone too far "Oh hell!"  
He grimaces, tensing his body and holding his breath. "You idiot Clay, what the hell did you do that for...Arrghh!" He breathes through it and eventually the pain starts to subside  
"Ohhhh!" he breaths more slowly as he relaxes. Then the warm pleasure of the relief slowly seeps through his joints "Oh, that's better!"

He lets his breath go and now smiles to him himself, enjoying the comforting feeling, reminding himself if he does it again that that is his limit of pain.

He opens his eyes again, watching the bustling hospital corridor out of internal window of his room.  
There's a nurse with blonde hair and she catches his attention, making the frown on his forehead deepen. He watches intently as he can see her hovering outside the room  
"Oh my god! Ann Marie?!"

He keeps the frown fixed as he watches her. His face now a contortion of confused lines. He very nervously swallows the huge lump of panicked emotion he feels.  
"Ann Marie!" He calls out, but she can't hear him in the closed room "Oh shit! What the hell!"

He can feel himself panic, and he tries to get himself up out of the bed. Grimacing in pain, he un-clips the urine bag, swinging his legs around over the side of the bed, the ache from the tube in his groin throbs as he tries to stand up.  
His breathing is through the roof and he can feel a sweaty mix of adrenaline and anxiety coming over him, forming small beads of perspiration on his forehead

"Ann Marie!" He calls out again as he struggles with the door, pulling it open, juggling with his gown, the tubes and the bag .  
He feels so weak standing up and the bustle of the corridor makes his head spin. He's not able to get far before his legs give out, buckling under him and he crashes down to the ground.

As he gathers his thoughts from the fall, he looks around from where he lays on the floor, his eyes frantically search for her. _Where did she go? _  
"Arrggghhh!...Ann Marie!" he calls again and again, his body filled with an unknown panic. He feels dizzy as his head clouds with trying to work out what's going on.

"Oh Shit!" Sonny puts the coffees down as he notices a nurse standing over Clay, who's laid on the floor outside room  
"Hey what the hell happened here?" he frowns "Clay what's goin' on?" He frowns questioning the nurse as she shakes her head, she's waiting for help to come  
"Why the hell didn't you wait for me to come back, if you wanted somethin' ?" Sonny gives her a hand to get him upright. Supporting his weight and helping to get him back in his room to his bed.

"I saw her!" his breathing is erratic and panicked.

"Saw her?" Sonny frowns confused. "Saw who? Clay what you talking about?"

"I saw her. I saw Ann Marie! She was here, outside my room!"

Sonny looks confused, frowns at the nurse who just shrugs at him "That's all he keeps saying, that he saw her!"

"Clay!" Sonny frowns "She's not here buddy. It wasn't her" he looks at him concerned then turns back to the nurse "Is he alright?"

She smiles at him sympathetically "It's fine, it's probably the pain medication. I can make you feel confused. I'll get the Doctors to look at the dose!" she smiles as they settle Clay back in the bed, trying to calm him down as he keeps insisting he saw her

"No! No, I saw her it was her; she was here! Look, she's been calling me, my phone, she called but didn't speak when I answered. Look!"

He pushes the phone towards Sonny who's just staring at him "It's okay buddy. Clay, it's alright. Just keep calm. Let's get you some water" he sighs "Just take it easy, man!"

"NO! Sonny it was her, I know it was her! I told you she's been calling me!"

"Clay, buddy it can't be her!" she sigh the frown on his face showing his worry "Look, there's no way she can get on the base. It must be a misunderstanding. Look, have some water. The nurse said it's the pain medication, making confused"  
Sonny pours from the jug filling the glass "You need to just calm down. We'll wait for the Doctor"

Clay pushes the glass from his hand, spilling the water all down the front of him. Wrestling to try and get out of the bed "NO! No, I know what I saw!"  
The nurse fiddles and fixes the drip, injecting something into the tube as Clay turns watching her. "What, what are you doing? What's that?" he frowns panicked pulling at his drips

"Clay, you need to just stay calm" the nurse puts her hand on his arm trying to reassure him "I'm just giving you a little more sedative, just till the doctor comes, it'll help keep you calm. Your heart rate and blood pressure are little high right now!"  
She smiles at him "Don't worry I'm sure it's just the medication. The Doctor will sort it out!"

"No! I know what I saw! It was her" he pulls at Sonny "Sonny you have to believe me!"

Sonny sighs looking at the spilled water covering him "Clay, look I'm sure you think you know what you saw but... you've had a rough couple of days. So, let's just keep it calm and like the nurse said, wait for the Doctor"

Sonny takes a towel from the trolley near the door and wipes himself. As the nurse goes to leave he catches her arm "Hey, is he gonna be okay? I mean is this normal, like to see things?"

"I'm not sure what he saw, I mean is there any chance it could be the person he's talking about?"

"No..." he looks around and sighs "look, she was his... girlfriend and ummm... well they kinda think she's dead"

The nurse frowns she can see the concern in Sonny's face, and she smiles reassuringly, holding his arm "It's okay, I mean this is not unusual, with grief. He just needs some time. Let's just wait and see what the doctor thinks"

Sonny nods "Yeah well, I'm not sure it's grief. I'm not sure he knows she's not coming back but..." he sighs as he looks around, wiping his hand over his beard. He sighs again as he looks at Clay who now has his eyes shut and looks like he's asleep.

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Ash apprehensively turns the key in the lock, slowly opening the door to his house. Then standing in the hallway he stops, taking a long deep sigh, before he fully enters the quiet of the house. He closes the front door and stand his overnight bag down.

He hasn't been back to the house since everything happened with Ann Marie, and he has to admit, he feels a little nervous, even though he's had plenty of time to adjust and get his head round what she put him through.

He grimaces at the pain in his ribs. Holding his hand to them as he moves.  
Slowly walking to the kitchen, every movement is painful, every breath makes him grimace and flinch in pain. "Oh god!" he holds the side of his torso hoping the pain from his cracked ribs eases soon, but knowing it's going to be a long painful recovery.

He enters the kitchen, noticing more than anything else, how quiet and calm it is, and also everywhere is clean and tidy  
"Hmmm!" he sighs as he frowns thinking "I guess my publicist must have organized cleaners!"

He smiles. The fact it's all back in order reassures him. Then he frowns at the only thing that's not been cleared, a near empty bottle of wine, stood with a glass the countertop. He empties the remaining contents into the sink, then rinsing it out he puts the bottle in the trash.

He runs his hand on the worktop. The feel of the solid mass under his hand is quietly soothing and calming.  
He grimaces again at the aching bruises on his ribs which are hurting again  
"Oh shit!" the ache in his side is too much and reaches in the cupboard taking out a new bottle of Whiskey, then he takes a glass from the cupboard and runs some fresh water ,filing it up.  
Then taking the small pill bottle from his pocket, putting two of the small white painkillers into his hand and then he drinks the water adding the tablets to his mouth and swallowing them. Forcing them down.

He sighs, taking a moment now looking at his hands, turning them over in front of him. His knuckles are cut and still very bruised from the fight with Jason. "Fuck!" He lets out a long sigh.

Then turning around he notices another open bottle of red wine on the counter by the doorway. He frowns his thoughts wandering back to Ann Marie  
He rubs his face and lets out another long sigh "Ahhhh!" he holds his ribs then taking a clean glass from the cupboard he heads through to his office with the bottle of whiskey.

As he stops in the hallway he looks up the stairs, towards the landing. His forehead wrinkles, as he looks at the dark space at the top. He wonder about heading to bed, he's tired and he hurts but he's suddenly overcome with apprehension and decides against it.  
Then he's not even sure why he does it, but he turns the deadlock on the front door and puts the chain on.  
Leaning his head against the back of the it he catches his breath, taking a moment before he walks into the dark quiet of his office.

He looks around everything is tidy in here, and he goes to the window, pulling the blinds closed. It's awkward to twist the cord with the bruising to his arms and sides, but he manages. "Jeez I'm definitely getting too old for fighting" he gently rubs his side "and Jason still has a hell of a punch on him!"

He rubs his neck and takes another two painkillers from the tub in his pocket. He looks them over, wondering if he should take them so soon after the others "Oh what the hell, at worst they'll just make me sleep, that's gotta be no bad thing!"

He puts the glass down and pours a large whiskey into it, then adding the tablets to his mouth he washes them back with the alcohol. all he's really wishing for now is a nice long deep sleep.

He runs his hand over his desk, while listening to the silence of the house, a weird apprehension lingers with him, creeping over his brain. He tops the whiskey glass up again, before he slumps down in his favorite leather armchair, letting out a calm deep long sigh as he does.

He sits quietly, drinking the whiskey, then he closes his eyes.

He wakes with a start as what he thought was a noise. He's unsure how long he's been sleeping, and he rubs the unconsciousness from his eyes, and his hand over the rough of his chin, thinking about how he needs a shave. He feels like crap and his head is heavy with both drink and sleep.

He stands himself up. Unsteady on his feet, holding his aching sides. He feels worse now despite the pain killers and he's stiff from the sitting position.  
He decides he needs his bed and picking up the empty whiskey glass he heads back to the kitchen.

He rubs the tiredness from his face, massaging his temple, while he checks his phone which he put on charge._ Still no calls from Clay, or anyone for that matter!  
_He sighs he hits Clay's number again, but before the phone answers the other end, he cuts it off. Rubbing his chin thinking "Shit! I need to go see him!"

He decides he will take a shower, and then get a cab to the hospital "Hopefully he will speak to me by now"  
He turns around to put the whiskey glass in the sink, but his attention is caught by the open wine bottle on the countertop.

"What the hell?" he frowns picking it up turning it around in his hand. He's confused for a moment wondering if he took too many painkillers after all. _I'm sure I put that in the trash earlier?_  
He opens the cupboard to the trash bin and there sits the _two _empty bottles that he placed in there earlier. "What? I don't understand?" he questions himself

He quickly turns looking around the kitchen "What the hell is going on?" he thinks again. His frown is deep set and he's totally confused. He can't remember this bottle being here earlier.

He tries to think, picture the scene of the kitchen before he slept. He rubs his head as he stands the bottle by the sink.

" You know, I'll have another one if you're pouring it? I sure need it!"

"What the hell!" he turns quickly facing the doorway. In shock he drops the bottle which smashes, the remaining contents of and glass are all over the floor.

"Oh Ash, that's such a waste of good wine!"

His face is fill with a look of shock, combined with that of fearful horror. "Oh my god!" he sighs "What the hell are you doing here, Ann Marie?!"


	41. Chapter 41

** Chapter 41: I'll put some coffee on. **

"Come!" Roberts answers the knock on his office door

"Hey Sir!" Malone frowns watching his boss who's sitting at his desk eating. The contents of the sandwich he has in his hand are spilling out, not only over the plate, but his desk and legs too.

Robert's look up "So, what you got for me, Maurice? Them forensics back yet?" He shovels more of the pastrami bagel, into this his mouth as he speaks.

Malone frowns watching him for a moment before he puts a folder down in front of him on the desk "Yeah, yeah, I got the forensics back from the lab" he smiles "Looks like your hunch was right boss!"

Roberts looks up, stopping his eating momentarily "Hunch? Hunch about what?" he frowns "Go on then!"

"About Ann Marie Lewis. Her DNA, they did find it in McCready's fishin' boat!"

"Shit, really?!" Roberts has a look of perplexed intrigue on his face as he drops the rest of his bagel on to the plate. Well that was the aim, but unfortunately most of it drops into his lap "Damn!"  
Sitting himself upright in his chair he wipes his mouth with his hand, while he looks for a serviette to wipe himself. "So, what about our Jane Doe? From the look on your face I'm guessing that she wasn't Ann Marie?"

"No, no we still have no, confirmed, ID on her yet." He sighs "It was strange though, because unlike the other two vic's, she had no identification, no phone, no nothin'. But we're still working on a lead with that."  
He frowns looking at his notebook "But umm...we do have some info back on the other two girls. One, Leanna Major was a missing backpacker. Her friends reported her missing eighteen months ago. They were all staying about ten miles away, but um... she was never found, well not until now. and um..." he sighs again, rubbing his head and thinking about the two dead girls, their names written on the notepad in front of him.

"So, what about the other body?"

"Yeah again, she was nineteen-year-old, Serena Taylor, on a camping trip. She used to go up every summer with her parents, but this time she went alone. Told her parents she was going with friends. However friends we spoke to seem to think she was meeting a man that she met online. She kept him a secret. We're looking at her computer now."  
He takes a moment, there's silence in the room while enormity of what's happened sinks in with both of them.  
Then Malone breaks the quiet by continuing "Like I said though, they both had their ID and phones where they were buried"

"So, what makes this latest one different? Why did she have no ID? I mean come on a girl that sort of age, she's gonna have a phone right? I mean they all do!"

"We'll we have a theory but we're still searching the property!"

"Okay! Well keep working on getting some ID for her. Someone out there knows who she is!" Roberts frowns opening the folder " So what the hell's this?"

"Oh um.. those are photos from the cabin, where Ms Lewis was staying with Mr Spenser! As you can see something definitely went on up there. Look at the place, it's a mess!"

"Jesus Christ!" Roberts looks up from the file with a huge frown on his face "What the hell happened there?" he keeps flicking through the scene photographs "So this all fit with the story he gave? I mean, about her attacking him."

Malone takes a deep breath in "I don't know Sir. We can't really tell what happened up there. They did find traces of Fentanyl in the forensic reports, but whether she gave it to him, or he took it willingly, that we just don't know! There's no CCTV up there so ..."

Roberts sighs and leans back in his chair thinking "I don't know Malone, I can't get my head round what the hell has gone on here!"  
He shakes his head while he sits thinking "Okay, let's think this through! So how did she get her DNA in McCready's boat?"

Malone sits on the desk thinking "Sir I um... look I have a bit of a theory but, it's just that, just a theory! I haven't quite worked out how it all fits yet!"

Roberts shrugs "Alright go on then!" he sighs "We got nothing else, so let's hear your thoughts!"

"Well... " Malone pauses wondering if he's thought this through enough to put to his boss "... say something did go on at that cabin. That, you know, they did some drugs, then had sex. Perhaps things got a little rough, you know maybe a little .." he coughs "you know... perhaps they tied each other up, playing games" he pauses awkwardly feeling embarrassed discussing this "But then they had a fight about something. I mean..." he points at the photographs in the file "we can see, the place is a mess!"  
He takes another breath "Say she went a little crazy and he called his friends to come deal with her, but somehow... she got away, she took off, sat it out in the car somewhere. Cooling off but they went after her and that's when drove off and then crashed the car" He pauses to look at Roberts to see if he's still listening

"Alright, you still have my attention,go on!"

"So, she gets out of the car and runs, and she does fall in the lake, like they said themselves."

"Yeah but you know how cold that water is, she wouldn't survive long in there, and they said they searched for some time!"

"No, I thought about that, but didn't Al say McCready was night fishing? What if he pulled her out?"

Robert's nods sitting himself more upright in his chair. Malone's theory interests him more. "Yeah, Al did say he had a blonde in the boat with him. So what? You think he rescued her? I mean it's a possibility but ...that doesn't tell us how McCready ended up dead! I mean even if they knew he fished her out, it would take them time to drive round from that side of the lake"

"Yeah, I thought about that too but Mr Spenser, he's a SEAL right? I mean that's what they do, swim. So, don't you think he'd easy be able to swim that lake?"

Roberts nods "Yeah, yeah maybe! So what, you think him and McCready got in a fight over her?"

"Well..." Malone takes a deep breath again "... that would explain Mr Spenser injuries. I mean more than _she attacked him_. Don't you think?"

Roberts leans his chair back, rubbing his chin thinking "Yeah, yeah it does kind of but ... so you saying Mr Spenser might have killed McCready? But then... " he frowns "...how did she get away? I mean Ann Marie; how did she get away from Mr Spenser?"

"Yeah well I thought about that too! So, these two guys are fightin', and she decides to get away." he lays another file with more photos in it. It contains pictures of a grey pickup truck

"What's this?" Roberts frowns

"It's traffic cam pics! A truck matching the description, and reg, that McCready's father gave us was picked up on several traffic cams out of the area"

"Really?" Roberts frowns opening his packet of nicotine gum, pushing two tabs into his mouth "So you think she took his truck to get away?"

Malone nods "Yeah, yeah I do" He sighs "The interesting thing is the last picture of the truck was a gas station camera. Someone called Abigail Johnson, used her credit card to buy gas!"

"Okay where was that? I mean where was she headed?"

Malone laughs "Would you believe it was just outside Virginia Beach!

"Shit! What the hell!" Roberts sits bolt upright looking at the photos he's thinking long and hard "So this Abigail Johnson, could this be our latest vics credit card?"

Malone nods "We're just checkin' on that as we speak! A phone, registered to an Abigail Johnson, also pinged a cell tower from that location, we're still checking to see what numbers were called!"

Roberts sighs loudly rubbing his face "Well, I don't know what to say, but that's sure a plausible theory. I will say one thing, there's only three people know for sure what went on at that lodge! One's dead,one's missing but err...well, we know where to find Mr Spenser!" he lets out a long sigh thinking about what to do  
"Come on Malone" He stands up, looking at his watch, picking up his nicotine gum, from the desk, putting it in his jacket pocket, after he puts it on.

"Sir ?" Malone looks confused "Sir, where are we going?"

"We're going to check out what Mr Spenser has to say about your theory! Come on, let's get some answers and find out if he feels like being a bit more co-operative now! I want to know _exactly _what happened to Ms Lewis, not this bullshit story they've been feeding us, because I think he knows more than he's told us so far!"

"Sir you mean drive to Virginia Beach?" he frowns "Like right now?"

"Right now, Malone!" Roberts looks at him from the doorway "Why you got somethin' better to do?"

"No sir!"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

"So, are you gonna open another bottle of wine then?" Ann Marie smiles at Ash, as he frowns, nervously staring at her. The look on his face is confused "How the hell did you get in here?"

She laughs "Well I do know where the spare key is! You know, the one I made you put there when I couldn't get in once before! But unfortunately with all the media you had outside, it made using it impossible!" she laughs again "So I'm sorry to say that you need to replace that glass on the door at the back now!"  
She smiles again, tilting her head to look at him "Come on Ash, open the wine. I really could do with a drink! I've had a pretty shitty week, if I'm honest!"

He reluctantly smiles, feeling himself fill with a fearful dread. "You've had a shitty week?" he laughs out loud "You know, I don't believe this!" he sighs, lost for words, taking a moment, trying to understand what's going on here.  
His eyes scurry around the kitchen trying to locate his phone, and though he's sure he put it on charge he can't see it now "I can't believe you're standing there like nothing's happened?"  
He frowns at her waiting for an explanation "Have you forgotten what you did?"

"Oh, come on Ash" she shrugs "So we had a little fight, all couples do that. I'm sure we can put that behind us now?"

He takes a sharp intake of breath, amazed by her comment "_Not_ what you did to me. I mean what you did to Clay!"

She shakes her head "Clay? I'm sorry I don't understand!"

He rubs at his head exasperated, wondering how she can just stand here like this "Ann Marie! I'm talking about what you did at the fishing lake?" he frowns "You must remember what you did!"

She nods as her face goes pale "That was... that was not meant to happen. He just.. I mean it was .. I didn't mean.. " she sighs trying to gather her confused thoughts "I mean it was just an argument, he wouldn't listen to me."

"He what?! Ann Marie, Jesus! Look, I saw him, I saw what you did to him. That was not just an argument!"

She puts her hand to her mouth and Ash notices the way her hands are shaking, and she rubs at her head as he speaks. But she continually shakes her head. He can now also see how agitated she's getting.

"Look, don't make this sound like it was all me! Clay... well... Look, I didn't mean for any of this. That poor other girl" she looks around confused thinking about her story "I mean, he killed that other girl, I was..."  
She pauses, staring at Ash. She has this look on her face of lost confusion, as she thinks about all the swirling thoughts going on in her head. "I was just trying to get away! I never ... " she starts to shake, her eyes cold and fixed, staring at him "Ash please, you have to help me, I had no choice!" She wrinkles her forehead trying to keep her emotions in check "You don't understand he... he was hurting me and ..."

Ash stares at her, he's so confused by the babbling words coming out of her mouth, she is making no sense with anything she's telling him "Ann Marie, what the hell are you talking about?" He frowns at her "I'm talking about Clay! I don't..."

He steps forward and as he does she uncovers his gun she has under the towel on the worktop. Then picking it up she turns it over, examining it in her hand, before pointing it at him.  
"Shit! Ann Marie, what the hell are you doing? Where did you get that?"

"You need stay where you are! Just stay away from me!"  
She takes deep breathes looking at the gun then occasionally looking at Ash. He stops where he is, half-way across the kitchen "I don't think you're listening to me!" she pauses as a look of anger crosses her face "That was the problem Ash, you never listened to me!"

"Okay, okay, I'm listening" he grimaces in pain holding his ribs "Owwww!" he closes his eyes "Can I sit down?" he points to the chair by the breakfast counter as he holds his ribs.

Pulling out one of the high stool out from under the breakfast bar. She frowns watching him. "Are you in pain?"

He nods "Yeah a bit! I could do with a couple of my pain killers?"

"Why? What happened to you?"

He clutches at his side that's giving him the most pain "I've...I've got broken ribs! Me and Jason we ... we got in a fight!"

"A fight?" she frowns "A fight over what?"

"A fight over..." he stares at her wondering if it's a good idea to continue. Trying to phrase what he says carefully, because one thing he's learnt about Ann Marie from the past is when she's like this it's easy to antagonize her "About, what we did, I mean what _I_ did ..." he sighs "behind Clay's back!"

She frowns "I don't understand. He got in fight about that. Why?" she takes another deep breath "If this is a trick, to fool me, to make me feel sorry for you?"

"No, no it's not! Look, I'll show you." he puts his hand on the bottom of his T- shirt and starts to lift it, showing her the bruising to his torso "He broke my ribs and it's painful if I stand for too long. So please can I sit down and get some pain killers?"

She frowns nodding "Okay" she watches him "He really broke your ribs?"

"Yeah, but it's okay. I'll be fine. I just can't do much for a while, and as you know it will take a while to heal" he apprehensively smiles at her

She frowns watching him struggle with the pain as he sits down "Oh my god!" she looks him up and down "Jason? Jason, did that to you?"

He can see flashes of anger cross her expression "Hey, don't worry I'm going to be alright, but looks like we need to sort you out?!" He nods towards her acknowledging the bruising on her arms. He hadn't noticed how much until he stepped closer to her "Are you alright? Did something happen to you?"

She nods "Yeah, yeah I'm good!" she looks at the bruising "I took care of it!"

"So, do you remember what happened between you and Clay?"

"Yeah, I um... " she nods, rubbing the hand containing the gun across her forehead and for a moment Ash feels a fear inside him. "You know I'm sorry about Clay. I didn't mean... I mean, I tried to explain to him. But Ash he wouldn't listen, he didn't want to hear it" She pauses looking longingly at Ash, appealing to him. "I tried to tell him, about us, that we were in love, and that we were sorry! That I- I wasn't in love with him."  
She swallows hard, her head again spinning with confusion "You know, if I could make it right with him. Do you think I should see him, try and explain? I mean do you think he'll listen?"

"Ann Marie, Clay's in the hospital because of you. He's in a really bad way." he watches how confused she is "Do you actually realize what you did?"

She shakes her head "I'm sorry! I am. I didn't realize he was going to take it so badly. I tried to explain!" she wipes the tear off her cheek still turning the gun over in her hand

"Do you remember you tied him up, cut his arm? Did you give him drugs?"

"Drugs?" she frowns confused "No, we drank some wine and he got angry" she cries wiping the tears running down her cheeks "I mean he couldn't ..." she lets out a small laugh "... you know couldn't _perform_ and he got frustrated, and then, then I suppose it, got a little out of hand. I didn't mean to hurt him!"

Ash tries to think what to do. He knows he needs to keep her calm and as he looks at the gun in her hand he knows he needs to get it from her. He also knows with his ribs and the bruising to his arms that he can't get in a struggle with her "Oh! Owww!" he closes his eyes

"What's wrong?"

"I'm in pain. I really need those pain killers"

She shakes her head and laughs "I know what you're trying to do, trying to catch me off guard" she points the gun at him and smiles looking at him down the barrel

"Please, Ann Marie, I'm not trying to do anything. Please just put the gun down. We can talk, like this, just keep talking" he smiles "Look, I'm listening now, so tell me!"

She smiles letting out a soft laugh "Do you remember this gun?" she turns it over in her hand smiling as she looks at it "It's your gun! The one you taught me to shoot with. Do you remember that Ash?" She frowns looking at him, questioning him "Remember the fun we had when we went to the range?"  
She smiles as she looks at the gun again "You said I was a _natural._ Do you remember? You were always so up for it when we got back. You said watching me shooting turned you on! Do you remember sayin' that?"

Ash nervously nods watching her stony faced looking at her holding the gun "Yeah, yeah I remember!" he smiles at her he can feel the anxious nerves coursing through him "You were you were a natural. You picked it up fast!"  
He smiles at her "Look um.. I was thinking, how about I call your father? If you're hurt, you said someone hurt you? We could get him to come pick you up and take a look at you?" He smiles again, desperately trying to win her affections round "What do you say? I'll get my phone?"

"No!" she sighs shaking her "NO! You stay sitting down! I don't want my father!" She shakes her head confused "Just be quiet! You're getting me confused!"

"Okay!" Ash puts his hands up surrendering as he calmly sits back down on the stool  
"Look, it's okay, we'll just talk. Ann Marie, it's fine! We don't need to call him, but just put the gun down. I'll open some more wine!"

She laughs "You really think I'm stupid, don't you?"

"No really, I don't. Look, I'll just open the wine"  
He gets up and takes another bottle from the rack, noticing how empty the stocks are. One thing he prides himself in is a full rack of good wine and it makes him wonder how long she's been here, as there are several bottles now missing!

"Open that Merlot" she smiles " I like that one"

He nods changing bottles "Yeah I can see!" He frowns "So, have you been here long?"

" A few days!" she sighs "Did you notice I cleaned up? That I made it nice for us."

"um.." He swallows hard "It was you? That cleaned up?" he frowns "Yeah, the um.. place looks great. Thank you!" he nervously smiles

"You know it was a real mess. I think it's a good job I came back, don't you?"

"Yeah, yeah it is!" Ash nervously takes the glasses out of the cupboard his mind still contemplating his next actions as he pours the wine "This is nice. I mean us talking!"

She smiles lowering the gun "Yeah it is. You know it reminds me of the good times we had" she bites her lip " We always use to end up in bed after we chatted like this"She keeps smiling at him.

Worried and unsure what to do, Ash just smiles back at her. "Yeah um.. yeah we sure did. Do we need the gun coming between us? We can talk without it."

She laughs but ignores his comment "Shall we take this through to your office? More comfortable in there and there's your _big desk_!" she laughs pointing with the gun towards the doorway, ushering him out of the kitchen "We can_ talk _more"

"Okay!" he frowns apprehensively. "Owww!" he grimaces again as the pain from his ribs shoots through his body "Oh god!" he holds his side taking a moment to ease the pain. Having slept in the chair the effects from the painkillers have now worn off and what was a dull ache is now back to sharp pains "I need a couple of painkillers"

She frowns "Where are they?"

"They're in the office!"

"Then go!" she steps into the hallway keeping her distance, whilst still holding the gun. He watches her as he slowly walks through carrying the two glasses of wine.

"Sit down!" she smiles at him as he puts the wine on the desk and sits himself back in the leather chair. Wandering behind him, she traces a line across the back of the chair with the gun in her hand. "This was always your favorite chair" she smiles, now running the barrel of the gun down his neck.  
"We made love in this chair once" She laughs "Do you remember how awkward it was?"

"Yeah!" the sigh that comes out of his mouth is nervous. He's on edge with the fear remembering how unpredictable she can be when she's like this. He takes a breath closing his eyes _  
Get a grip Ash! _He berates himself, wondering if he should just risk snatching the gun. _No just wait for the right moment. Just keep her calm._  
She can be so strong, and fierce when provoked, and at the moment with his broken ribs he knows that she would only have to catch him wrong, and he'd be a crumpled heap on the floor. "Can I get the pain killers?"

She nods "If you need them. Where are they?"

"There on the desk!"

She nods and moves towards the tub, turning it over in her hand, looking at the label reading its contents "These are quite strong!" she looks around at him "No wonder you were sleeping so soundly when I check on you earlier!"

He frowns watching her pop the lid open. It sends a shiver of fear through him, that he hadn't even realised she was in the house and hadn't woken.

She smiles again as she hands him two of the large white tablets, registering the unease in his eyes. Then she's distracted and her hear quickly turns to the doorway at the sound of the ringing on the doorbell. She looks at Ash then back to the hallway  
"Shhh!" she puts her finger to her lips as she aims the gun at him "You expecting someone?"

"No, no one I can think of!" he takes a breath as he looks at her. The panic rushing through his body, his heart beating so fast he thinks it might burst from his chest "Ann Marie, just ignore it. They'll probably just go away !"

She frowns, watching the look on his face, something tells her he's lying "So you're not expecting a visitor?"

"No!" he shakes his head, swallowing his anxiety back down his throat "Like I said I'm not expecting anyone!" he pauses watching her stare at him "Can I get a drink for these?" he indicates to the pain killers

"No! You just sit there!" She takes a breath. Her forehead lined with deep frowns as she heads to the window and pushing aside a few slats of the blind. she checks outside.  
The frown on her head deepens as she stares at the slim woman standing on the step outside the door. She quickly turns questioning Ash "There's a woman at the door, who is she?"

He shakes his head again "I don't know!" Watching her as she watches him shift awkwardly in the chair, staring then looking back out of the blind "Ann Marie!" he tries to get her attention "I swear I don't know who she is!"

As she looks again she's aware that the woman has seen her at the window. "Shit!" she frowns letting the blind go.

"Ash!" The voice call's out. Even Ash hears it and he looks up from his seat wondering if to call out but changes his mind as Ann Marie stares at him "Ash are you there?"

Ann Marie laughs, her annoyance obvious "Well, seems she knows you!" She sneers at him, taking a deep breath while rubbing the stress in her forehead "You just sit quiet" she points at him "If you don't want anyone to get hurt!"

Ann Marie goes to the office door to leave as she does Ash tries to stand up to face her. Seeing him move causes her to turn quickly and she lashes out at him, hitting him hard in the ribs with the gun. "I said SIT DOWN!"  
The hard steel catches across his broken ribs, causing the sharpness of pain that takes his breath away and he drops quickly back to the chair "Arghhhh!" he puts his hand to his ribs the pain searing through him.

"Ash!" she frowns "Please... just stay quiet. I'll get rid of her! Don't try anything, I mean guns can go off accidentally can't they? And I'm sure you wouldn't want that on your conscience"  
She smiles. Ash nods, he would admit right now he's afraid of what she could be capable of.

Ann Marie closes the door to the office, tidying her hair in the hall mirror before taking a deep breath, laying the gun on the small hall table then she opens the front door.

"Hey" Ann Marie smiles as she faces the woman at the door "Can I help you?"

"Oh um.." The surprise as Jenna's face as she's confronted by the woman standing in the doorway of the house "err..sorry! Have I got the right address for Ash, Ash Spenser?"

Ann Marie smiles "Who's asking? I mean if you're a fan, then I'm afraid that he doesn't do autographs!"

"Oh, err um.. no. No, I'm not a fan" Jenna frowns confused

"So, who are you then?" Ann Marie frowns looking her up and down

"Oh, I'm Jenna, I'm a _friend_"

"_Friend?_" Ann Marie stares at her harder which makes Jenna feel awkward and uncomfortable "He's never mentioned you before!"

"Oh, really um yeah sorry, I didn't expect anyone to be here. I didn't catch your name!"

Ann Marie sighs, she still has a pleasant smile on her face "Oh, I'm Ash's girlfriend, _Abigail_!"

"Oh um...right!" Jenna feels confused " I err, well...sorry he didn't ever mention a _girlfriend,_ I mean not that we talked about it!"

"You talked with Ash, but he didn't mention me? No, no I bet he didn't!" She sighs a deeper breath "So how do you know Ash?" Ann Marie looks at her with a lot of angry suspicion

Jenna feels nervous and awkward, and there's something about the tone of the woman in front of her "Oh um... I was nurse, at the hospital, where his son, Clay, was brought in after ... after an incident!"  
Jenna smiles as their eyes exchange looks. She's trying to remain confident when she admits that this woman is making her feel uncomfortable.

"A nurse? And what do you want with Ash? I mean nurses don't normally make house calls, do they?"

"Um..." Jenna feels very nervous now and she's starting to think about leaving "I just ... I just wanted to check how he was. I mean with his ribs, after the fight he had with Jason"  
Jenna looks her up and down trying to work her out, wondering why Clay never mentioned her in their chats.  
"Did Ash tell you he got in a fight. I treated him as the scene and so I just... I just wanted to check that he was okay. But look , I'll go, it's fine. You're right I probably shouldn't have come." Jenna smiles "I'm sorry to have troubled you!"

Ann Marie takes a moment, biting her lip while she looks Jenna up and down. "No wait!" Ann Marie takes hold of the top of Jenna's arm "Don't go like that! You made the effort to come all the way here to check on him"  
She smiles again " Look, Ash is asleep at the moment, he's been in quite a bit of pain, but ... well why don't you come in? You can wait until he wakes. I'm sure he'd be glad to see you"

She pauses, still smiling, pushing the door open wider "I'll put some coffee on. I mean, I'm sure he won't be asleep too long, and it'll be nice for him to know his_ friend _came by to check on him!"

Jenna has an apprehensive feeling now "You know what, if he's sleeping I'll just leave it. I'll call him and come back another day. I'm supposed to be going for lunch with a friend"  
She looks at her watch "Oh look, I'm going to be late, I should really call my friend, I've taken up enough of your time, _Abigail_!"

Jenna nervously, takes her phone from her bag. Ann Marie can see her hand shaking and frowns as she watches her, then she removes the phone from her hand, switching it off, dropping it back into Jenna's bag  
"No please, I would hate for Ash to think I didn't make you welcome!" she holds the door and indicates for Jenna to enter. "Please just come in, I insist!"


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42: I need to leave! **

"Chief!" Malone calls out as he searches the interior of the vehicle. McCreadys' truck is parked in a side street of a residential suburb "I've found it!" he holds up the cell phone, "It was in the glove compartment!"

"You find anything else of use?"

"No, nothing, few of McCready's belongings, and there's some fishing gear in the back!"

He drops the phone into a plastic evidence bag then seals it. "Get that checked by forensics for prints." He hands it to the detective from the local station then turns back to Chief Roberts  
"I got them checking phone records of the last known calls. They should be getting back to me any time now!"

Roberts nods. He's thinking about the situation, looking around the area, as the detectives continue to check the vehicle over "So, we think Ann Marie brought the truck here?"

"Well, so far it's the only explanation we have, Sir!"

Roberts sighs, taking another look up and down the residential street "And do we think she knows anyone that lives around here?"

"We'll we're still checking that. It's definitely not her father, we have his address, but one of the local detectives is checking with him regarding friends or associates"

"Right, well chase that up. Otherwise get some uniforms out here door knocking! I don't know but I have a feeling she's parked here for a reason"

"Yes sir!" Malone nods heading away as his cell rings. He stops walking, interrupted by the call. "Oh, excuse me Chief, I need to take this. It's the phone forensics guy!"

He walks away still speaking into the handset, then as the call finishes up he heads back to Roberts "Okay, that was the phone guy, they've pulled some information from the cell. There were five outgoing calls made in the past few days. And Sir, you won't believe this, but all of them were to the same cell phone. A cell registered to ...a Mr Clay Spenser!"

"Well, well now you have my interest!"  
Roberts has a deep lined frown on his face "What then? Do we think she's actually spoken to Mr Spenser in the last few days, arranging to meet up and see him, maybe?"

"Well I'm not sure" Malone frowns "As I understand he's still at the hospital, at the base, I can't see how she's gonna get past security to see him there. Not without someone knowing. No, I'm thinking she's somewhere else, somewhere she knows, somewhere she feels safe."

"You checked that credit card? The one for Abigail, the one she bought gas with? I mean, are there any charges to hotels, motels, anything like that?"

"No nothing, not since the gas station. Chances are she's not staying at a motel"

"Okay then, what about her apartment? I mean could she have gone back there, after leaving the vehicle?"

"No. No, again we checked that. She's not been seen back there since they left for the fishing lodges."

Roberts lets out a deep long sigh and rubs his head. Then digging deep in his pocket he takes out his nicotine gum and pops two tabs in his mouth. He looks around again  
"I think she's here somewhere! She knows someone, there's a reason she parked here. She wasn't thinking, about the vehicle, about hiding it because I don't think she was thinking about us finding her. No, she's around here somewhere, we just need find the connection"

He looks round at Malone, rubbing his head "In the meantime, we need to go speak to Mister Spenser. Find out what he knows about this. Let's see if he's ready to give us the real story, now!" he sighs, chewing rapidly on his gum  
"You know, I'm not buying all that bullshit they gave us about her attacking him" he rubs his face taking his car keys from his pocket "No! He's trained to kill. He's got more to do with this than they're telling us!" he sighs again, thinking "C'mon Malone, we need to find out why she called him. I mean if she was scared, trying to get away, then why would she call his cell so many times? No, something here doesn't add up, and I intend to find out what!"

"I don't know Sir, maybe she was so scared of him, she was trying to smooth it over. Make peace after their fight? I mean, if they did have a serious falling out, maybe she was apologizing so he didn't come after her, or...maybe she knows what he did, to McCready and they're trying to get their story straight. The one thing we do know, is he didn't kill himself!"

"Yeah, you're right there's a lot more to this. I can feel it. And I definitely think he's more involved in McCready's death. He's got some questions to answer and we need to find out what he knows!"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

"Please..." Ann Marie smiles as she continues to hold the door, gesturing to a hesitant Jenna to enter. "come in!"

"Look, really I need to go, as I said ..." Jenna looks at her watch " I was really only dropping by before I meet my friend for lunch. In fact, I'm late now and I really must call him, he'll be worrying"  
Jenna reaches apprehensively into her bag for her cell. Her hands are shaking and as she tries to take it out

Ann Marie grabs at her bag, snatching it away "No!" Her tone is short and sharp. Then seeing the worried look on Jenna's face she calms herself, softening her tone  
"Sorry! Look, please come in, for me. I could do with the company." she smiles "If I'm honest, I'm getting a bit fed up, cooped up here with Ash, looking after him. It's just a coffee, you can call your friend from inside, and I'm sure it won't be long before Ash wakes up. I know he'll be glad to see you!"

Jenna is really nervous. She doesn't know why, but something about _Abigail _puts her on edge "Really I think I should just go. My friend, he booked a table, he'll be worried!"

Ann Marie still holds Jenna's bag in her hand, ignoring her comments and with her free hand she motions Jenna in the direction of the hallway. "Go through!"

Jenna takes a deep apprehensive breath, with no bag and no phone she feels compelled to go inside, but as she steps over the threshold and enters the hall, a cold shiver of nerves runs down her back. Then as Ann Marie slams the outer door shut a deep-rooted fear fills her, and she stares, looking as _Abigail_ puts the safety chain on the door.

Ann Marie notices her nervous reaction " Oh don't worry about that" she smiles "It's me! I'm just over cautious with security. It's a condition I have, like OCD" she laughs "Besides you never can be too careful, there's some dangerous people around. I mean Ash got attacked in the car park at the studio not so long back"

Her smiles makes Jenna more uncomfortable, nervous, and she wrinkles her forehead.  
The deep frown lines thicken as she stands, staring, at the locked front door. She focuses on it, wondering about opening it , thinking about leaving.

Then her thoughts are suddenly disturbed, by a voice in the background as Anne Marie calls her from the kitchen  
"So how do you take your coffee?"  
As Jenna stands in the kitchen doorway Ann Marie holds up a bottle of wine "Or perhaps, you'd rather a glass of red wine?" she smiles

"um... No thank you, coffee will be fine!" Jenna smiles before taking a deep breath while she looks around the kitchen, searching for her bag.

As she spots it, laying on the countertop by Ann Marie's side, she contemplates how to get it back. What she can't see is that hidden underneath it, is Ash's gun. Ann Marie picked it up from where it laid on the hall table before she came back to the kitchen

"Ann Marie!"

Both their heads snap round, looking as each other, surprised by the sound of Ash's voice calling from the other room.

Ann Marie smiles, as Jenna looks at her confused. "I thought you said Ash was asleep?"

"He was. I guess he's just woken. I better see what he wants. He's probably a bit confused. Disorientated. The drugs he's taking, they make him really out of it!" she sighs " Look, why don't you wait here, I'll check on him!"

Jenna nods, she's confused and really concerned "umm...why did he call you Ann Marie?" she frowns.  
Recognising the name from what Clay told her about what happened to him, a panic rises inside her, and knots of fear form in her stomach "I thought you said your name was Abigail?"

Ann Marie shrugs, laughing "I told you, the drugs he's taking, they confuse him. Don't worry yourself about it" She smiles reaching out with the coffee mug, holding the hot drink towards her "Here, drink your coffee, I'll sort Ash out!"

Jenna sees her opportunity and makes a grab for her bag. Turning back to check the doorway is clear. She puts her hand on it, managing to pull the cell from inside but just as shes about to turn it on, something pulls it from her hand, lurching her forward. She feels a hard smack to her face, the force knocking her to the ground, and the phone dropping from her grasp.

"Ahhh!" she holds her cheek looking around confused. She tries to reach out for the phone she can see lying on the floor only a few feet away from her.  
But as she reaches for it a foot stands on her hand! "Awww!" she cries out, looking up to see Ann Marie standing over her

"I told you to finish your coffee!" she takes a deep breath trying to calm her anger " Who were you going to call anyway?"

Jenna frowns, worried "I needed to call my friend, Trent, to let him know I was gonna be late for lunch, that's all!"

"Trent!" Ann Marie laughs "And I told you, that don't need to!" she stares at Jenna as she lies on the floor beneath her foot.

As they stare at each other their attention is distracted by a heavy thud from the room cross the hallway. Ash cries out with a desperate tone "ANN MARIE!"

"What's going on?" Jenna frowns "Is he alright? Oh my god, what have you done to him?"

Ann Marie laughs " Done to him? Why would I do anything to him?" she frowns, her deep dislike for Jenna is growing "Why would you think I would do anything to Ash? I love him. I would never hurt him!"

"But you hurt Clay! He thought you loved him .. _Ann Marie!_"

She scowls looking at Jenna " Just be careful what you're saying! You don't know anything about it!" she lets out a deep breath, taking her foot off Jenna's hand "Now excuse me, I need to check on Ash!"

Jenna sits up, rubbing her sore cheek and flexing the ache from her fingers. She hesitates for a moment before speaking "Why are you here Ann Marie? You must know they're looking for you? They thought you were dead!"

Ann Marie laughs as she frowns at Jenna "I'm here because Ash loves me, and I love him. We're going to be a family!" she smiles but then her lip quivers and she rubs her wrists "I ...I nearly was dead!"  
She looks confused rubbing her head "Why did you say I hurt Clay? I never hurt clay. We had an argument; things got out of hand. I don't know what happened.. it's all a blur now but... "

"Out of hand?" Jenna frowns watching her "I saw what you did to him. How you hurt him!"  
She stops speaking just watching her. She can see how confused she is "Ann Marie, what's wrong with you? Do you not know what you did?"  
She keeps watching her, concerned by the expression on her face "Are you okay? Do you need some help?" she sighs "Ann Marie, let me help you!"  
Jenna gets up slowly and cautiously, reaching her hand out to touch Ann Marie's arm "Let's get you some help, you're hurt... I could call Trent, get him to come!"

Ann Marie closes her eyes; she's taking deep breaths trying to clear her head then she snatches her arm away "NO! No, I know what you're doing! Don't, don't touch me!"  
She's shaking her head, rubbing her neck "You're trying to trick me, confuse me! I'm not listening. NOW... MOVE!" she points the gun at her and directs her towards the doorway. "I need to check on Ash!"

Jenna stands her ground "No, no I'm not going anywhere. I need to leave!"

"Leave?" Ann Marie laughs "Oh, you're not going anywhere!"  
Her face turns serious and she frowns at Jenna, she hits her again in the face, this time with the weight of the gun it knocks her sideways

" Aww! Please... let me get help for you!"

"I said NO! Now, this is your last chance... MOVE!"

Jenna feels her bruised cheek, there's a trickle of blood at the corner of her mouth. She gathers herself using the countertop to balance, watching Ann Marie as she walks forward across the hallway.  
Again she looks at the door, noticing the chain on. She then looks back at Ann Marie. Part of her wonders if she could make a run for the door. Part of her knows she can't.

"Oh, don't even think about it!" she smiles, shoving Jenna forward towards Ash's study door.

As the door to the study opens, they can both see Ash on the floor. He's on his hands and knees holding his sides, trying to steady himself but he can't get up because of the pain in his broken ribs. That pain is exasperated by the punch he received from Ann Marie. He feels hot, dizzy and sick from the pain and he can't stand up. Each time he nearly gets to his feet he crashes back on to his knees in excruciating pain, unable to keep his balance.

"Ash!" Ann Marie calls out looking worried she can see the pain etched in his face "What the hell do you think you're doing? I told you to rest. I thought you were sleeping. Let me get you some more pain killers"

He looks up "Oh my god, Jenna! What the hell are you doing here?" he frowns "You need to leave!" he grimaces at the serious ache in his sides

"Ash!" Jenna kneels down beside him, worried "Are you alright? God,look at you. Let me help!"

Ann Marie watches them as Jenna puts her hands-on Ash , helping him up. A surge of jealous rage sweeps over her. She pulls Jenna away with severe force. "Get the hell away from him!"  
As Jenna scrambles back on the floor Ann Marie points the gun at her "You dirty bitch! I said stay away from him!"

"Ann Marie!" Ash calls out, worried what might happen "Ann Marie please, just calm down, she was only trying to help please... please put the gun down. Ann Marie listen to me!" he's panicked, concerned at what she might do when she's in this rage.

"What's going on?" Ann Marie stares at him "Is .. there…something going on between you?" she stutters over her words "Is that why she's here?"

"No! Oh God no! Ann Marie there's nothing...nothing going on! Please... just listen to me!"  
He tries again to get up, but his ribs are so painful "Ahhh! Oh god ..please!"  
He looks over at Jenna who looks frightened and confused "Jenna why the hell did you come here!"

"I came to check on you. We hadn't heard from you" she sighs rubbing her arm, it hurts where she fell

"Jenna, seriously you need to leave" Ash struggles with the pain now "Ann Marie, please ... just let her leave, she's got nothing to do with anything. She's just a nurse!"

"Ash, I'm fine" she frowns, acknowledging his concerns " I came by to check on you. To see that you were alright! Are you, are you alright?"

He nods "Yeah, yeah I'll be fine, but you really do need to go. I can handle this!" He can feel his breathing getting more labored as he panics " Anne Marie please... you need to let her go. She's got nothing, nothing to do with this!"

Anne Marie laughs, then her smile turns to a frown . "Oh, she's not leaving. I want to know what's going on? Between you two. Who is she Ash? Hmmm... I mean why is she so worried about you?"

"Please you've got this all wrong. There is nothing going on!" he swallows hard, nervously looking at her. He knows what she's implying, and he tries to reassure her "Ann Marie, look at me... . She's a nurse, just a nurse. I swear!"

"Just a nurse!" She laughs shaking her head, and what? She's just come to check on you. Do you think I'm stupid ? Nurses don't make house calls like this!"  
She turns, her anger growing again looking at Jenna pointing the gun "I'll ask you again Ash, what's going on?"

"Ann Marie, baby, please! You know I'd never do anything like that!" he frowns hoping she'll listen. Jenna frowns at his comments shocked by his words.

"Baby... "she smiles "you haven't called me that for ages. Are you telling me the truth? There's nothing going on between you two?"

"I swear, c'mon put the gun down. Let Jenna go, we can sort this out!"

Her smiles drops again, and she shakes her head "Don't treat me like I'm stupid Ash! You do that all the time."  
She turns to Jenna, looking her deep in the eyes "How do you know him? hmmm, how long have you been seeing him?"

Jenna swallows nervously, shaking her head "No, no I haven't. It's not like that. I told you, I was a nurse, at the hospital where Clay was brought in, I - I treated Ash after he had the fight with Jason"

"Fight? What fight?" she turns to look at Ash "You were fighting with Jason? Why?"

"He um... he blamed me. For what happened to Clay, I was .. .checking some options, in case Clay couldn't operate again... but Jason didn't like it and we fought... It was nothing !"

"And that's how you broke your ribs? Jason did that?" she frowns

Ash nods "Yeah but .. it's fine. "

"No... No, I'm not buying this you're trying to protect her. You want me to let her go! You think I'm stupid"

"No .."Ash manages to get himself upholding on to the desk

"You're sleeping with her aren't you? Behind my back" she stares at him "How could you!" she's furious now "We're gonna be family and you're doing that to me?"

Ash worries, he can see that look, the one he knows, the one when her anger starts to boil  
"No, you know I'd never do that to you. Ann Marie please, we need to talk. Me and you have some time together. You know I've missed you!"he's trying anything now, anything to calm her.

Ann Marie becomes confused and rubs her head. Then they're interrupted by Jenna's phone ringing  
"It's probably Trent, I told you I was supposed to meet him, he'll be looking for me!"

Ann Marie thinks as they phone stops and cuts to voicemail. She calms "You know I never meant to hurt Clay; I didn't want to, it's just .. he kept pushing me! I wanted him to understand that it was Ash that I loved, but I did love him ... I just ..."

Jenna nods "It's okay!" her voice slow and calming "It can be sorted out. Sure you hurt him but... but it can be fixed!" she smiles trying to reassure her.

"What did you tell Clay?" Ash frowns

"I told him you loved me, that you slept with me while he was away"

Ash closes his eye disgusted with that statement as Jenna stares at him .

"I told him that we were gonna be together. He just got so upset." she laughs "He couldn't even make love to me! I mean how can I be with a man that can't even... "she takes a breath, closing her eyes for a minute, trying to sort the confusion in her head. As Jenna looks at Ash she's just as confused by what's going on .

"Ann Marie, let Jenna go, then we can talk. We can have some time to ourselves"

"NO!" she rubs her head trying to block out what's going on "She's staying...she's staying until I speak to Clay. I need to explain. I can't have him telling people I hurt him, like she said!"

Ash frowns at Jenna shaking his head. Jenna's considering what to say, thinking of how to deal with the situation. During her nursing career she's dealt with mental health issues and she knows there's something going on with Ann Marie, she needs help but that also makes her mood unstable and her unpredictable  
"You know, now I think about it, you're right. I probably got it all wrong. I probably misunderstood what Clay told me, about the argument. Look maybe I should just leave you to it, let you talk. I need to meet Trent, he'll be worried."

"NO! I told you, you're not leaving!"  
Ann Marie loses it now and hits Jenna hard across the side of the head causing her to fall, hitting her head on the side of the desk.  
She's now laying on the floor, not moving, a small trickle of blood runs down her temple.

"Oh shit!" Ash grimaces in pain as he staggers to his feet, his side is throbbing, his ribs are so painful "Ann Marie, what the hell have you done?"

Ann Marie turns on him, pointing the gun "Sit the hell down, Ash!"

**o-o-o-o-o-o**

"Mr Spenser!"

"Yeah?" On hearing his name Clay stops packing his toiletries into the holdall and turns around "um… Yeah, can I help you?"  
He looks confused as he stares at Roberts and Malone standing in his hospital room doorway

Roberts smiles, taking a piece of gum from his pocket and starting to chew it, he looks around the room "You going somewhere?"

Clay nods apprehensively "Yeah .. they um.. they said I could leave. My tests all came back clear, Sonny and Trent are now coming to pick me up. Um… did you want something?" He's cautious as he asks "Do you have news?" he frowns " I mean on Ann Marie"

Roberts nods "Maybe! We um… we need to talk with you regarding some other matters first"

Clay frowns as he finishes putting his stuff in the bag, zipping it up and checking his watch. "Look, could we do this later, I'd kinda like to get out of here, and get home"

"No! No I'm sorry but this is important. I mean we can speak to you here now, or we could take you to the local station and ask you the questions there, I mean if you really want to get out of here?"

"No!" Clay shakes his head. A panic starts to build inside him. He can feel his heart racing as it reacts to the anxiety. "No, here's just fine"

Roberts studies Clay, watching the color drop from his anxious face "Mr Spenser, have you heard from Ms Jenkins in the past few days"

"No! No I haven't heard from her. I- I thought..." Clay shakes his head, cautious about what he answers "I mean I don't know what happened to her?"

"So she's not called you?"

Clay shakes his head slowly "What is this? Are you saying Ann Marie is alive?"

"Well.." Roberts smiles "We hope so, but …. we were hoping you might be able to tell us a bit more first? Maybe what you discussed when she called you?"

"Me? Why would I know. She hasn't called me. I told you the last time I saw her was at the fishing lake when…. " he stops his chest tightens as he thinks back to what happened at the lodge.

"Hey… What's going on here?" Sonny stands outside the doorway looking puzzled

"Ah!" Roberts smiles "Mr..."

"Quinn. Sonny Quinn!"

"Well Mr Quinn, it's nothing to worry about. We're just following up some inquires regarding Ms Jenkins disappearance, that's all." he pauses "oh one more quick question Mr Spenser. What can you tell us about a Thomas McCready?"

"Hey, what the hell is this?" Sonny interrupts "What's this got to do with Clay? You know he's been in hospital right? I mean he's got nothing to do with her disappearance!"

Clay looks at Sonny. Confused by the questions, he takes a breath. Something doesn't feel right and he looks first at Malone then back at Roberts. Then swallowing his apprehensive nerves, he answers. "Nothing! I .. I don't know who he is. Should I ?"

Roberts looks at Sonny and smiles "Please, we're just following up leads. Doin' our jobs. Just a few questions we need some answers to." He smiles again "I mean, I'm sure you're as eager as we are to get to the bottom of what happened, to Ms Jenkins?"  
He takes a breath and looks at Malone, who nods "You know what, Mr Spenser, I think we might be better doing this down the station, after all. So why don't you gather your things and come with us!"


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43: Jenna went there! **

Clay rubs his head to wipe away the sweat he has beading on his forehead. He sits, uncomfortably, on the edge of the bed. He feels so confused as he tries to make sense of the questions he's being asked  
"Ann Marie's alive?" He frowns, as he continually keeps repeating the words over and over. He looks around the room and the faces that are all staring at him.

"Mr Spenser?" Roberts frowns, noticing how pale and unsteady he's become "Are you okay? Can we get you something? Mr Spenser, do you need a nurse?" He's worried, and he looks at the other guys, searching them for help and answers.

"Get away from him!" Sonny's annoyed by the questioning and pulls Roberts away "Clay, Clay you okay buddy?" He frowns as he too watches him.  
Worried he rushes to the door and shouts. "Trent!"

Trent's in the corridor, on his phone. He looks at the screen, switching it off, shaking his head. _She must be avoiding me! Wonder what I did?_ he sighs as Jenna's phone has again gone to voicemail. The fact that she doesn't pick up is starting to concern him, but now he's distracted, looking up at the sound of Sonny's calls from the doorway to Clay's room

"Trent! Get in here, NOW!"

Trent's still looking at the screen as he enters the room "You know, I still can't get hold of her! You think she's avoiding me?"

"What?" Sonny frowns, unconcerned and not really listening about Trent's _girlfriend_ issues his focus on the situation with Clay.

"Jenna, she's still not answering my calls. We were supposed to go for lunch. I think I might have pushed it too far?!"

"Yeah, well just forget that!" Sonny's annoyed "It's Clay, there's something wrong with him!"

Trent frowns as he stands in the doorway looking at the pale and sweaty Clay sitting on the edge of the bed

"Clay you okay?" He watches him and he can see the way his chest is heaving, struggling for breath and he rushes to the side of the bed  
"Hey, hey Clay just lay back! Listen to me, you're having a panic attack so just slow down. Just breath, slow ... breathe .." As Clay looks up at him slowing his breath, Trent smiles "That's it! Just slow it down"  
He scans around the room looking for answers "What the hell happened here? He was fine when I left him!""

Clay feels like he can't breathe, like he's suffocating and clutches wildly at his chest. He feels hot, dizzy and sick "I ... I .. oh... Sorry…. I'm fine." he frowns "Is it right... what they said? Ann Marie's alive?"

"Clay, I don't know what's happened, but you need to calm down. Just rest and keep breathing slowly. Just keep calm!" Trent looks around again "What the hell's going on? What happened?" he deepens his frown "Is _she _alive?"

Roberts shrugs "We were just talking, asking some questions when he came over all funny! We just want some answers, but he went all pale, and…." He takes a breath, his forehead furrows as he watches while Trent tends to Clay "I wonder, is there something you wanna tell us Mr Spenser? Something that's made you panic like this. Something you think we should know?"

"No! No, nothing!"  
Clay grabs at the top of his arm, squeezing it hard. This is his new relaxation technique, giving himself the excruciating pain. It gives him a focus, then as it subsides it relaxes his mind. The tension flowing out with the pain  
"No, no I have nothing to say! I just wanna know if she's alive? Please just tell me!"

Roberts nervously looks at Malone. He's still sceptical about Clay's story  
"Well there seems to be evidence …..that indicates that that might be the case. Yes! But we have a lot more questions we need answers too." He bites his lip for a moment watching Clay's reaction " We think you might have some of the answers!"

He takes a breath "Mr Spenser, we found a vehicle. It belonged to a Thomas McCready, he's our murdered victim at the lake retreat. We believe Miss Jenkin's that vehicle to escape! To get away from threats she felt" he pauses again his eyes meet the pitiful look from Clay's. He just sits there vaguely staring at Roberts  
"Mr Spenser…. do you know anyone she might know in Kempsville, or anywhere around that area? Maybe a friend, a relative, a..."

"Kempsville? " Clay frowns interrupting him "Did you say Kempsville?"

"Yeah!" Roberts frowns, nodding. The sudden interest from Clay is concerning and he looks at Malone "Yeah, that's where we found the vehicle parked. Are you sayin' she does know someone there?" Roberts frowns he's concerned now by the way Clay has sat up in the bed.

Clay nods "Um... yeah um... we both do!" he nods, looking at Trent, then round at Sonny, then back at Roberts "Um... my, um …my father, Ash, he lives there!"

The colour and expression drops from Roberts face. "Sorry, your Father lives in Kempsville?"  
He quickly and sharply looks at Malone as impact of what he says hits him "Shit!" Roberts rubs his head

"Why? What is it? What the hell's goin' on?" Clay frowns, worried "Has she gone to Ash? Is that where she is? Oh my god she has hasn't she. She's gone to be with him!" Clay rubs his head the enormity dawning on him .

"I don't know, I don't know if that's where she's gone, but we're gonna find out! Malone get a squad car out there" Malone nods and gets on his phone. "Mr Spenser can you call your father?" he frowns

"Um... Yeah, yeah sure ... where's my cell. " Trent hands it to him from where it lays on the side cabinet. Clay looks at it, thinking, as he stares at the screen "Oh my god it was her... it was her wasn't it! The calls. The ones that didn't answer" he sits, and his breathing slows, the breaths are longer and deeper, as he still stares at the phone in his hand

"She called you?" Roberts frowns "When was this?"

"I ... I don't know I mean she didn't speak, I just .. um …I thought they were sales calls! I ... " Clay's so confused and his breathing starts to get rapid again.

"Clay!" Trent puts his hand on his shoulder "Just stay calm, okay! This isn't going to do you any good. You just need to calm down!

"Hey come on buddy!" Sonny smiles at him, he can see how pale and upset he is "Do as Trent says, just breath, okay! You're gonna be alright, she can't get you in here!"

Clay looks up, his eyes wide and scared. He swallows hard. "She was here though, wasn't she! I saw her. She came here! I ... I saw her here. Earlier..."

Sonny shakes his head and looks at Roberts "No, no it wasn't her .. it was the drugs. He was seeing things. Clay, buddy we went through this"  
He puts his hand reassuringly on Clay's shoulder "It was a nurse .." he looks at Roberts "It was a nurse, in the hospital, yeah she looked like her, but it wasn't " Sonny frowns "Clay, I told you it wasn't her. She can't get on the base buddy, you're safe, you don't need to worry!"

He tells Clay not to worry but right now Sonny's worried. He's worried about Clay, he's worried about how this is affecting him, and part of him wishes that the detectives hadn't come here, that this had gone away and part of him wishes that Ann Marie was dead.  
Because if she was dead she couldn't come back and there was no chance that she could ever hurt Clay again. Right now, Clay, his teammate, his friend, his brother was hurt and scared, and Sonny doesn't like it.

Suddenly Trent looks up there's a realisation on his face "What! What? You seriously think she's gone to see Ash? To Ash's house!"

Malone nods "Yeah, we thinks she's gone somewhere she knows! It's the only explanation."

"Oh my god!" He rapidly dials Jenna's number again looking around "Jenna!"  
He frowns "She's gone there. She went to check on Ash. She wanted to know that he was okay, after his fight with Jason. I haven't been able to get hold of her since she left! I'm worried about her now!" he looks at his phone as he tries her again "C'mon Jenna pick up!"

Sonny looks at Trent as again it goes to voicemail. He's shaking his head rapidly, panicked now "No, no still no answer!" he takes deep breaths "Shit! We need to go. Somethings happened I can feel it!"

Roberts looks at Trent then at Malone "Okay! C'mon, we need to get over there!"


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44: Stay there **

Jenna's cell phone lays on the kitchen floor. It stops ringing and clicks to voicemail, again.

"Hey, it's Jenna, can't take your call. You know what to do"

"Jenna, Jenna pick up. Jenna it's Trent. Please pick up. I need to speak to you urgently"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Anne Marie rubs her head. A wave of nauseas panic comes over her, and she slides down on to the floor. Looking at Ash as she sits quietly, gently rubbing the sore, blackening bruises on her wrists. She has her head down, thinking.

Ash frowns confused about what's going on, and he too, sits silently staring at her.  
"Ann Marie" He calls to her softly, as he grimaces with the pain in his ribs. His head is like a fog. He's lightheaded, dizzy and feeling sick  
"Ann Marie, are you hurt?" He cautiously asks, concerned by how quiet she is. He's seen this before from her and it worries him, a calm before, a usually, violent storm. "The bruises, on your wrists. Did something happen to you?" he frowns

She looks up at him, her eyes large and full of hurt, she's nods silently but still doesn't answer his question.

He takes a deep breath, looking around to check on Jenna. He can see that her chest is slowly, rising and falling, with shallow breaths. He knows she's alive but she's still out cold.  
A trickle of blood runs down her cheek, from the egg sized lump on her forehead, and it really concerns him. He swallows, nervously as he turns his eyes focusing on Ann Marie  
"We need to get her some help. She's hit her head. Ann Marie are you listening? She needs some help."

Ann Marie looks around at Jenna's unconscious body on the floor, "No!" She frowns "No, no one is coming here. I don't want that" her chest tightens, and her breathing becomes harder and faster.

Ash is cautious with his actions and words, he can see even in her quiet calm that just under the surface her fury is starting to bubble "Ann Marie" he softens his tone "Please, for me. She's hurt. We need to help her; you can't want her to die?"  
He sighs watching as Ann Marie doesn't move. Neither does she answer him "Alright" he grimaces as he tries to move his position "If you won't let me call for help, then just let me check on her."

He tries to steady himself, but each movement becomes harder. He feels quite unwell now, the head spinning nausea that comes from the sharp stabbing pain in his ribs when he moves, it makes him feel like he might pass out.

She sighs deeply, and she wrinkles her forehead, anxiously shaking her head  
"No!" she snaps, grinding her teeth in anger as she looks again at Jenna, who's still slumped behind her.  
Then she focuses her gaze on Ash "Is that what you want? Me to help her." she sighs "Why? Why would I? What when she's... " she takes a breath trying to get a grip on the rage she can feel building inside her "Is this because you're seeing her?" A tear rolls down her cheek "Is she in your bed, Ash?"

He closes his eyes, he knows from the past, there's no reasoning with her, not if she's got these types of thoughts in her head "No, no Ann Marie, I'm not seeing her. Really I'm not"

He keeps his voice down and his tone calm as he tries to reassure her, convince her. "What she told you was right. She's a nurse, and she was going to meet Trent for lunch. You remember Trent? He's on BRAVO with Clay."

He sighs, struggling to move toward her, he puts his hand out to touch hers "That's the truth. She helped me, after the fight with Jason, that's all. So please... we need to help her." He sighs "You can't really want her to die? That's not you and I don't want you to be blamed."

He's trying a new tactic, remaining calm, as he talks with her. "Please, just let me check she's alright."  
He's in serious pain now and cloud fills his head, he's struggling to not close his eyes. He feels like he wants to pass out, but he musters all his inner strength, and he powers through the feeling. Slowly moving from where he's perched on the edge of the chair he slides, in agony, on to the floor.

Closing his eyes for a moment as a blackness descends and for a few seconds he can feel himself actually pass out. The room spins around as he opens his eyes, and it takes minutes more to steady himself "Awww ...oh my god!" he groans, gripping his arm around his ribs for support "Ann Marie. please!"  
The pain wracks his body and his tone becomes frustrated by the fact she won't listen "For god sake... we need to help her!"

The tone of his voice doesn't go unnoticed and she glares at him, before standing herself up she smiles angrily "I knew it" she sighs "Maybe I should just kill her, and have done with it"

She turns, waving the gun around, pointing it at him and then back towards where Jenna is still lying on the floor "After all... " she takes a deep breath, another tear rolls down her cheek "It's not like I haven't killed someone before."

"What?" Ash frowns, he panics. Her mood and the fiery look in her eyes worries him "Ann Marie, please...I'm begging you, just think what you're saying."  
His tone changes and he can't hide his frustrations now "For god sake, Ann Marie! Argghh, ...you don't mean that."

His chest heaves, as he struggles with his shortness of breath, he rib feels like it's digging into his flesh from inside. "Aahhhhh!" He cries out in pain and she turns staring at him.  
As he gets a grip of the sore ache, he frowns watching her "What did you mean, that you've done it before? What the hell ... "he sighs " What have you done? Ann Marie, what's happened? "

But as he tries to get to the bottom of what's gone on he's cut off mid-sentence by the sound of another cell phone ringing.

They both look at each other as Ash notices his phone on the desk light up. He frowns taking a deep breath, he can see Clay's name on the screen, and he looks at her "Let me answer that...Please. It might be important"

"No! No, you don't touch it!"

"Ann Marie, it's Clay. C'mon, he hardly ever calls me. It might be important, please"  
He sighs, as he holds his hand on his ribs, trying to keep his balance, attempting to reach for the phone

" I said NO!" she screams at him. Pushing the phone away from his grasp, she sends it spinning across the desk and on to the floor. She lets out a long deep sigh and rubs her head in annoyance. She's tired, she's stressed, and she takes another breath trying to calm herself down.  
Speaking more calmly "I said, NO!"

But then her mood rapidly changes, and she smiles. Looking at him, she can see his pain as he stands in front of her, holding the desk for support  
"Ash we don't need anyone." She smiles "All that matters, is us. Me and you, that's all I care about, no one else."

"Okay!" He nods "Okay, yeah …I know, but... please if you mean that, then let me check on Jenna. It would just make me feel better" His eyes beg her. "Please?"

She smiles, biting her lip , contemplating what she's going to do. "No! No. She's breathing. She'll be fine."

Frustrated and unable to do any more Ash slumps down against the leg of his desk. He's worn out from the pain that he's in. Trying to get through to her is hard work and as he looks up he's hardly able to focus "Ann Marie, whats going on with you? I don't believe that you really want to hurt her. But.. I don't understand why you're being like this"

She smiles "Ash, baby I told you. I don't care about anyone else. I only care about you, about us, about us being a family." She strokes his hair as he leans his head back, trying to breathe through his agony. His stomach churns from the dizzy nausea feeling. He's not sure what's wrong, but the pain starts to ease, but now he feels hot and queasy.

His mouth floods with saliva, and he feels like he's about to throw up "I need the bathroom, I don't feel so good"

She stares, silently watching him as his eyes glaze over. She smiles "It's okay, just relax."

"No! No, I need the bathroom" he scrabbles to get up from floor, heaving himself up, using all of his strength to pull himself to his feet, using the desk for leverage.

Seeing how determined he is to move she gives in and helps him "Okay, alright let me help you"

She's worryingly calm as she helps him up. With the gun still in her control, he considers trying to disarm her, but in his weakened state right now, he's not sure if he could actually take her on. But he knows how strong she can be when she's in this kind of mood. He's witnessed her violent strength before, and despite his own normal strength he's not capable of dealing with her right now.

"Arghhhh!" he takes a deep breath. As he stand up straight a pain rips through his body and he takes the arm she offers to help to haul him up.

"C'mon...Ash get up!" she grits her teeth; it takes all of her brute strength to haul him upright

As he stands his head feels way too heavy for his body and it flops forward, then as he corrects it, it snaps backwards. The room spins and he takes lots of short sharp, deep breaths.

He slowly and painfully, manages to put one foot in front of the other as they walk towards the kitchen, her helping him, propping him up as he leans over the sink.

He makes retching noises, his stomach griping, bubbling then forcing the bile into his throat. Again, and again he retches, until he does actually vomit. "ahhh….Arghhh!" he groans as his stomach churns again. He feels really unwell

"It's okay" she rubs her hand over his back, as he continues to lean over the sink "Don't worry, soon it's not gonna hurt anymore". She smiles "Just relax, just let the feelings wash over you"

He looks around at her, unsure of what's happening. He frowns and tries to focus "Ann Marie, what did you do?"

"Shhh! Ash, like I said, just relax."

He attempts to make a grab at her but in his drunken like state he misses, his hand swiping past her "I said... " he sighs " what ...what did you ... do to me?" His head spins, his eyes blur over as he tries to look at her

"Ash, don't try anything. Just relax." She smiles "I gave you a little something, just to help you cope with the pain"

"What!?" he frowns. Feeling like he's about to collapse he gripes at the edge of the sink, then he leans over. The feeling in his stomach rises and sweating profusely he throws up in the sink, again.

"Ash, come. Let's get you sat down in the lounge. You'll feel much better once the pain subsides."

He's so dizzy, unable to make sense of what's going on around him and as much as he wants to stop her, he can't because right now he's only just managing to stand up, and even keeping his balance is a challenge.

He grabs at various pieces of furniture, to steady himself as they move. Each step is more and more painful and he's sweating so badly "Ann Marie, tell me what the hell did you give me?"

"It's just...some ... " she smiles "just a little muscle relaxant, my father uses it for his patients. It won't hurt you."

As he gets near to the stairs his head clouds "I need to sit down, I can't ...go any .." he sighs

"Just a little further, through here in the lounge. We're going to be getting out of here soon, you need to rest first"

"Getting out of here ?" he frowns. He's so confused now "What? Where? What, the hell do you mean?" he tries to focus, clinging to the stair rail at the base of the stairs as he staggers drunkenly through the hallway to the lounge, at the back of the house.

The sweat is dripping down his face, and his head keeps blacking out. He stumbles into the lounge before crashing down, with a thud, on the low, double seat couch "Oh god! Ann Marie what the hell have you done?"

She smiles, pulling his legs around so he's in a lying down position "Ash are you okay?" she frowns laying the gun on the table beside the couch, she sits herself down beside his partially conscious body, stroking his hair.

As she does he notices the blue and black bruising all over her wrists and he looks at her through is blurred eyes, he gently touches them "You okay?" She nods, rubbing the skin for herself now, lost in her thoughts as he continues to frown at her "What happened, to your arms?"

She shakes her head resisting her thoughts, and she takes a deep breath in as he continues to stroke her arm. He can feel his heart nervously beating hard in his chest  
"What is it? What happened. Did someone hurt you?"

"Oh god!... I… " She nods "I um... I thought he was helping me, but he wasn't"  
She sucks in a deep breath as her eyes fill with tears "Ash…. I was so scared. He um... he pulled me out of the water. I thougth I was going to drown. It was so cold. But he just… he tried to …"

Ash frowns, he's confused as to what she's talking, she's incoherent and he struggles to comprehend what's happened. He can see the tears run down her face "Hey, come on... just um... tell me what happened"

"I thought he was gonna kill me. When I saw that other girl's body... I ... I saw what he did to her" she closes her eyes as the tears continue to roll down her cheeks  
"You have to believe me; I didn't have any choice." she frowns at him, scratching wrist, so hard that the marks start to bleed.

"He grabbed my arms, I was so cold…. he hurt me, tried to … . I just... then I just... I just hit him. I don't really remember what happened after that, I just ran. I took um...took his truck and came here to be with you"  
She starts sobbing uncontrollably, she's only vaguely making any sense and Ash is trying to focus, trying to take in what it is she's telling him, but his head is so groggy that he's struggling to even stay awake  
"I thought I was never going to see you again ...I had to..." she cries, now desperately kissing his face, trying to breath and kissing him over and over " I had to ... keep our baby safe"

In his groggy state her words focus his attention "What?!...Ann Marie, what did you just say?" His head is a whirl, his eyelids keep closing, no matter how much he fights it the heavy sleepy feeling is consuming his whole body and eventually he succumbs and his eyes close.

"It's alright Ash..." She smiles stroking and kissing his face " we're gonna be fine. We can be a family, be together, just us, soon."

She leans her head on his chest, lying herself next to him on the couch, pulling his unconscious arm around her "Just sleep. It's fine, you'll be fine. I'll take care of you" She kisses his cheek holding him. Closing her own eyes as she lays beside him.

She's awoken, suddenly, by a large noisy crashing sound, from the hallway.

She sits upright on the couch unwrapping herself from Ash's unconscious arm, grabbing the gun, she wipes the tears from her cheek and takes a deep breath. Looking at the sleeping Ash she smiles at him "Stay there, baby. I'm gonna take care of this."


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45: Sonny help me **

Jenna groans as she opens her eyes. Grimacing with pain, touching the blood she can feel on her face as she rubs her hand on her aching head. "Ahhh!" She frowns, her head aches so much as she slowly sits herself up.

Looking around the room she can now see she's on her own in the empty office. She leans back against the leg of the desk and lets out a long sigh.

Feeling dizzy and very sick, she starts to come around, her attention distracted by the sound of her cell ringing from the other room.  
She looks up, still rubbing her head, which feels like it has a tightening band that's crushing her skull, around it.

Grimacing with the pain as her fingers, gently, touch the large lump she can feel on the side of her forehead "Aahhhhh!" She groans. She feels at the raised bump, while she sits very quietly listening.  
Her ears ring with the silence, the only sounds she's able to hear is that of a ticking clock in the hallway.

Slowly she pulls herself, unsteadily, to her feet and very nervously tip toes to the doorway.

The whole house seems quiet, too quiet and she frowns wondering _Where the hell is Ash, and Ann Marie?_  
Taking a quick peek around the doorway to the hall, she stares at the outside door. She's wondering if she should try to leave but seeing the chain on the hook, she's unsure if she would be able to get it open without getting caught. So instead, she cautiously opts to head to the kitchen.

Once again the silence is broken only by the sound of her cell. And she takes a deep breath, quickly crossing the empty kitchen space to where she can see it lays on the floor.

Picking it up she lets out a huge sigh of relief. She checks the doorway behind her, so scared of being caught, her heart beating so loud, that she can hear it thumping against the front of her chest.  
Her nerves are making her hands shake, giving her trouble unlocking the screen. Then she hits answer but too afraid to make any sounds, she doesn't speak.

"Hullo..." Trent's voice on the other side of the call sounds so good.  
"Jenna?" he hesitates, listening . He can only hear the sound of her nervous heavy breathing "Jenna can you speak? ...Are you okay?" he sighs "Jenna we're coming for you"

She checks the doorway again, then very, very quietly in a hushed whisper she answers him. "Trent...can you hear me?"  
She sighs, swallowing her nerves constantly keeping her eyes on the doorway "I need help...I'm...I'm at Ash's house. Please... " She stops talking, now listening. There was a sound and she's not sure what it is. "I have to go"

"Jenna!" Trent is relieved to hear her voice, but he now feels very afraid "Jenna!...Jenna, are you alright? Jenna, what's going on?"

"Trent.." she sighs "Please... I can't talk..." she goes silent, listening again

"Jenna, we're on our way. Just stay safe, we're not far now."

The phone goes dead and Trent frowns, he looks at Jason then to Clay. He's sitting next to him in the back after he, vocally, insisted that they brought him along.  
Sonny was fuming that he was even considering it, but Clay would just not take no for an answer, and in the end Jason relented and said he could come. Much to everyone's disapproval.

The convoy of vehicles head at speed towards Ash's house. Sonny and Ray in the car that's in front, of Jason's truck which was then being followed by the two detectives, Roberts and Malone. Police backup has been called to meet them there.

_"This is a police matter. Civil not military"_ Roberts reminded them as they left the hospital. Trent didn't take it well, but Jason calmed the situation. They weren't allowed to carry weapons, or any say over what was about to happen. Robert's and Malone would have full jurisdiction of what was their case. But, it was agreed they could be there.  
They had to do something. So here they were on their way, speeding, to Ash's house, not sure what they are about to find. Trent knew for sure, and so did the others, that if there was anything he could that would save Jenna, or even Ash then they would respond to the situation in anyway necessary. After all, they knew they were better trained for these types of situations

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Jenna swallows hard, trying to supress the knot of nerves that are stuck in her throat, as she hangs up on the call. Putting her phone in her pocket, she searches the kitchen for anything she can use as a weapon to protect herself.

She steps quietly back into the hallway and decides to go for unlocking the front door, quietly sliding the chain off. If nothing else she's hoping it will allow help to get in.

As she turns around her nerves get the better of her and she knocks over the vase on the side table smashing it on the floor. "Shit!"  
She panics, hearing a noise and movement coming from the room at the back of the house and it startles her into moving.

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Ann Marie frowns. She's listening for any noise as she walks quietly down the hallway, holding the gun in front of her.

She stops. Concentrating her attention on any sounds in the house. As she turns looking at the front door she can see the chain hanging loose "Oh god ... dammit!" She rubs at her head with the hand containing the gun.  
An anger builds in her expression as she heads through the doorway into the office. "Arrghhhh!" she's annoyed as she's greeted by the scene that was expecting to see. "God damn it!" she screams out loud.

There space on the floor where Jenna's slumped body was is now empty. _Where's she gone?_  
As she looks around the room she becomes even more enraged "Shit!... No!" She closes her eyes, trying to calm herself, grinding her teeth.  
"No!" she sighs as she slumps against the wall for a moment, rubbing her head frustrated. Then taking a deep breath she stands up, walking slowly back into the hallway, opening the front door and peering out.

There's nothing. Everything in the street is calm, no movements outside that she can see. She takes a breath but just as she's about to close the door she cries out in terrible pain "Awww!"

She drops to the floor, the gun falling from her grip as she grabs at her now bleeding head with her hands  
"Awww" she screams again as another blow reigns down on her and she closes her eyes.

She feels faint, starting to black out, as the glass bottle hits her hard on the side of the head again. Then another blow hits her hard, smashing the bottle this time, and it knocks her out completely.

"Jenna STOP!"  
A groggy Ash calls out. He's managed to drag himself to the hallway and he cries out again from where he's slumped by the wall "Stop . don't she's.. .."  
He retches feeling sick, struggling to get his words out. Still trying to fight the drugs that are forcing him to close his eyes "she might be pregnant. Just stop!"

He lets out a long sigh before collapsing, unable to move, the pain in his rib's surges over his body in a huge wave and he can't cope. Just before he thinks he might throw up he passes out.

Now there's an eerie silence in the house which is only broken by the sounds of Jenna's heavy breathing. "Aahhhhh!"  
She sinks to the floor, in a heap, beside Ann Marie's unconscious body. Swallowing her nerves, sweating with panic, her hands are shaking with the adrenaline pumping through her body. She sits, unable to move, just taking deep breaths, tears streaming down her face.

Jenna takes another deep breath, then leaning over the quiet, still unmoving body of Ann Marie she checks her pulse. She frowns for a moment noticing all the blue-black bruising but she's her apprehension settles as she detects a weak thud from the vein in her wrist against the tip of her fingers.  
Putting her head in her hands she holds the side of her aching head. Dropping the last piece of broken wine bottle, she's still holding, to the ground. Then pushing the gun across the tiled hallway floor, away from Ann Marie's body.

She hauls herself towards the staircase, sitting herself on the bottom stair, her head leaned against the guard rail. She slumps, unable to move shaking uncontrollably. She takes a deep breath, letting out a long sigh, trying to calm herself.

Leaning her head around the bannister rail she checks on Ash. He's still slumped by the wall in the narrow part of the hallway.  
He's not moving. It took all the strength he had to haul himself, groggy and in pain, from the couch and now the drugs have overwhelmed him again.

She's startled and looks up at the sounds of shouting from outside the partially open front door "POLICE!...OPEN UP!"

"It's okay, I'm not armed!" she calls out as the gun points around the open gap in the doorway.

Roberts tentatively looks in, before trying to make entry. He's finding it difficult as Ann Marie's still unconscious body is slumped behind it.

He squeezes through the gap, followed by Malone. They're both checking around the scene, then they look at her sitting there "Jenna! Are you okay?"

She nods "I think so" she holds her still bleeding head as Malone leans over checking for a pulse on Ann Marie

"She's breathing…..Malone, get an ambulance!" he frowns as he notices Ash slumped in the hallway, "We need medic here too!"

He crosses the hall, putting his gun away in its holster as he feels at Ash's neck for his pulse  
"Mr Spenser...Mr Spenser, can you hear me?"

Ash groans coming around slowly, but still unable to focus "Mr Spenser.. " he frowns as he watches him "Alright, just stay where you are, help is on the way"

Ash nods, before closing his eyes and slumping back. The pain and drugs overwhelming his exhausted body.

Jenna sits head in her hands on the stairs watching as Malone retrieves the gun from the floor, placing it in a plastic evidence bag. She looks up, smiling relieved as she sees Trent and Sonny stood in the doorway

"You okay?" Trent frowns as he and Sonny look around at the scene confronting them.

Roberts looks at him "She needs medical attention" he looks at Ann Marie laid in a heap on the floor, and as odd as it seems Trent's training takes over and he starts checking her pulse, her pupils and breathing.

Jenna sighs watching him. She can see all the blood from where she hit her with the bottle.  
As a trained nurse she knows the fact she's still unconscious is worrying  
"Is she going to be alright?" she frowns It now begins to dawn on her the consequences of her actions, and shock starts to set in with her body violently shaking.

Trent looks up and smiles "Jenna!...Jenna, look at me, it's gonna be alright. Don't worry."

She nods, dropping her head running her hands through her hair. Malone stands over her putting his hand on her shoulder "You want to come through here and tell me what happened?"

Jenna gets up slowly from the stairs, he takes her arm and helps her up as he leads her through to the quiet of the kitchen. "Sorry, but I need to ask you some questions, about what happened here."

She nods. Nervously, realising the implications of what she's done "Is she gonna be alright?"

"I don't know, it's hard to tell at the moment. Jenna, did you hit her?"

"Um…yeah, yeah the wine bottle" she sighs as tears start to drip down her cheek "I um... I didn't know what else to do. I thought she was gonna kill me...and um...and Ash, I didn't know what she'd done to him" She frowns, her face crumples the sheer horror of the situation hits her.  
She loses her balance for a moment and Malone steadies her. Pulling out a stool from under the counter he gets her to sit down "Thanks!" she smiles "I um... " she rubs the blood from her head "Sorry do we have to do this now? I don't feel so good."

Trent's in the doorway "Hey" he smiles at her then he frowns at Malone "She's right do you have to do this right now?"  
"I guess I could find something else for a moment"

Trent smiles again "You want me to have a look at that?" he pushes her hair gently back from her face, as he looks at the cut on her head.

She smiles and nods. As he comes closer he wraps his arms around her, holding her close. She wraps her arms around his waist and begins to cry "Oh god! What have I done?"  
Her breathing quickens as she keeps taking short shallow breaths "Trent, I was so scared." she wipes the tears from her cheek, looking him in the face. She frowns looking at him "Have I killed her?"

Trent holds her tight kissing the top of her head "It's fine. She's not dead. They're treating her now and the medics are with Ash, he should be fine"

"And um... Ann Marie?" she frowns "Is she going to recover?"

He nods apprehensively, failing to fully answer her , because truthfully he's not sure. She has a serious head injury from the bottle and whilst she was breathing she wasn't responding "Let me look at that." he frowns examining the cut on her head "How do you feel?"

"Trent ...please...how is she?" she looks him in the eyes, worriedly frowning "Trent...please tell me. Is she gonna be alright?"

He takes a deep breath and nods "She needs medical attention... let's just see. Don't worry yourself about that. She's getting attention now"

"Oh god!" Jenna takes a deep breath, she's shocked and worried

"Jenna" Malone comes back to the kitchen doorway "I'm sorry... I gotta do this, we um... we gotta take you to the station with us, if you're feeling up to it. We need to ask you some more questions. " he frowns "Do you need some medical attention, first?"

"She needs medical attention" Trent steps in "We need to get this head injury looked at"

Malone nods "Okay, I'll make arrangements. But we will need to question you, officially. About what happened here" He sighs he feels really bad. He's always liked Jenna and he knows she would never have done this deliberately, but he also has to follow protocols of the law.

Jenna sighs, nodding "Okay, yeah I understand."

Trent leads her outside into the hallway. Ash is sat wrapped in a blanket on the bottom of the stairs the Doctor is shining lights in his eyes and they're giving him some oxygen and the other medic is giving him an injection to counter the drugs he's been given. He takes off the mask and looks at Jenna "You okay?" he frowns

She's still in shock and she nods "Yeah, yeah I think so. And you?"

He nods in reply "I'll be fine."

They all look around as they hear a noise from behind them. The sudden sounds of crying and groaning that are coming from Ann Marie, as she starts to come around.

As they lift her from the floor to the gurney, she's calling out "Ash!... Ash please…. Ash!"

He stays where he is, not responding to her. Even if he wanted to, he can't, because he can't move. The pain in his ribs is far too much for him to even be able to stand up now.

Jenna and he exchange glances as Trent puts a blanket around her shoulders "Come on let's get you checked out"

As the trolley with Ann Marie is pushed outside, Trent stops in the open doorway "Oh hell!"  
He can see outside the door and Clay is standing over beside the truck, where they parked it.

He's watching, as he stands with Jason and Ray, as they wheel her towards the waiting ambulance. And even in her groggy semi-conscious state Ann Marie can see him standing there and she now calls out to him "Clay!" She takes a deep breath then calls again "Clay. Please... help me."

He takes a deep breath, seeing her for the first time since what occurred between them, sends his heart into overdrive. It's racing so fast that it starts to make him feel like he's going to pass out. His breathing quickens and his chest tightens

"Oh my god! She really is alive!" he frowns. Gripping at his arm as he starts to panic for reasons he can't understand  
"Oh god! Oh god! I can't breathe!" The panic sets in and his head spins as a cold sweat comes over him

"Whoa! Whoa there... " Jason grabs him, as Ray opens the truck door and they sit him inside. "Hey, hey... steady there. You okay?"

"CLAY!" she screams out, crying again

Sonny can see the look on Clay's face as he hears her. He's beside the ambulance  
"Hey, get her the hell outta here!" he frowns, glaring at her with anger. Helping push her inside away from Clay's sight.

He and Trent are over by the truck now. Trent talking to him "Clay...Clay, just calm down. She can't hurt you okay." Trent frowns he can see the panic in his face, the tension in his body "Just remember what I told you before when this happens. Just breath slowly. One...Two... three...breathe slowly"

Sonny frowns, slamming his fist against the side of the truck in frustration "I told you, this was dumb idea... letting him come here. Letting him see her!"  
He shakes his head in fury, he glares at the ambulance. He knows he shouldn't but in his head he's really wishing she was dead.

Jason has to walk away. He's pacing, so angry about the whole situation. As he looks around he can see them bring Ash to the doorway in a wheelchair "Oh hell!" he sighs as he looks around at Clay

Clay can see them wheel Ash out, but he doesn't move. He takes a deep breath looking as they load him into the second ambulance but even though inside his feelings are all conflicted he still doesn't move

"Hey you okay?" Sonny looks at him concerned

"Sonny!" Jason calls overthrowing him the truck keys, "You take him back. I'll get a lift with Ray"

Sonny nods, closing the door on Clay and heading to the driver's side. Clay sitting with a blank stare on his face, just watching the unfolding scene from the passenger's seat.

Jason sighs as Trent stares at him "I'm gonna go with Jenna and Ash in the ambulance to the hospital"

"Okay" Jason frowns "If there's anything you need us to do, then just give us a call"

As Sonny turns the truck around Trent leans in the window "I'll call by the apartment once I finish up at the hospital. Just get some rest Clay."

Sonny smiles. He takes a deep breath looking at Clay "Hey Buddy c'mon, lets' get you out of here!" He pats Clay on the shoulder trying to reassure him.

Clay just continues to stare out of the window, silently watching, squeezing hard at the top of his arm causing a really sharp pain. He breathes into it as the feeling engulfs his body.  
It hurts so badly while he squeezes but it also calms him because he's in control of the pain. But as he watches the ambulance, containing Ann Marie, pull away, he lets go allowing the release of all his tension. He sinks back into the seat enjoying the sensation.

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Back at his apartment Sonny opens the door and they enter. Clay takes a breath as Sonny drops his bag on the floor "I'll leave this here for you, right?"

Clay nods "Thanks Sonny. Thanks for everything " he smiles

"Hey, no problem buddy. You wanna beer, a coffee, water or sum thing?" he frowns not really sure what to do now.

"No, you know what... thanks but I wanna be on my own. I wanna try and get some sleep."

Sonny frowns "You sure? I mean I can stay. Wait till Trent comes. He was gonna check on you"

"No ... no, I'm good." he smiles " I really just want some peace, thanks"

"Okay... alright. If you're sure?" Sonny picks up is jacket, looking back to glance a Clay as he closes the door.

Clay breaths out a long sigh as he slumps on the couch, lying back, his hand on the top of his arm. He grips at it really hard and tight. Once again he's taking a comfort in the pain, he closes his eyes before falling asleep.

He wakes up suddenly. The sounds of Ann Marie's voice in his ears calling him.  
Frantically he clutches at his chest, unable to breath. He makes short panting breaths just trying to suck in some air. Sweating and struggling he becomes really agitated.

"ahhh ….NO!" he cries out, pulling at his T shirt the feeling of it against his skin feels like it's suffocating him. He jumps up from the couch, anxiously pacing the room. The walls feel like they're surrounding him, closing in , trapping him.

The intense feeling of being trapped unable to get out, it makes him panic and he's hot and dizzy. He gags, choking, feeling like he might be sick and hurries to the bathroom. His breathing is more frantic as he gags and retches. Leaning over the sink he throws up.

"Oh god!" he feels a cold chill after the sickness and rubs his hand up and down his arms trying two warm the Goosebumps.

As his hand gets to the top where it's still bandaged he grips at his so hard, squeezing until the pain makes him feel like he might pass out.  
"Arrghhhh" he grimaces, actual tears running down his face. He can still hear her voice calling him and he puts his hands to his head trying to stop the sounds as he slumps down to the floor.  
Holding his knees to his chest, rocking back and forward he tries to calm his breathing. Suddenly he's aware how dark and how alone he is.

He flusters trying to pull his cell phone from his pocket. His hands are shaking so much he drops it on the floor before retrieving it. "Two am."  
He stares at the phone screen as it lights up in the darkness "Oh my god!" he stutters to himself, finding Sonny's number in his contacts he hits call

"Sonny!...Oh god… Sonny help me!" he cries into the phone "I can't do this. .. please"


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46: Dumb idea **

"CLAY!" Sonny thumps hard against the apartment door. "Clay, open up!"  
Looking at Trent he's concerned, there's still no answer to their constant knocking. He can feel his heart beating, thudding hard in his chest as he hits the door with his fists again and again.

Trent frowns "We need to get in there Sonny."

He nods in agreement " We'll break it down!" Taking a deep breath, he turns his arm sideways and readies his shoulder. Trent does the same

"On three... three, two ...one.." In unison they crash hard against the door. ".Urgghh!"  
It flexes but doesn't move. "Again!" They both throw themselves, hard, against the door a second time, hitting it with all their strength, there's a loud crack and the wood on the frame splits. One more strength sapping shoulder barge and the lock snaps free of the door frame, and, finally, they're inside.

Sonny stands rubbing his arm, letting out a deep, relieved breath. Now they stare into the darkness of Clay's apartment as Trent feels for the light switch on the wall.

"Clay!... Clay, where are you?" a panic surges through Sonny's veins and he feels sick with nerves. He's broken through many locked doors in his time not knowing what he's going to find but this time, not knowing what they might find, and knowing Clay's involved, this is the worst. "Clay! Jeez man, where are you?"

They squint at the brightness, as Trent flicks the light on. Looking around, the room is silent, and more worryingly, empty.

Sonny nervously moves forward towards the darkness of the bedroom. His heart feels like it's nearly bursting free from his chest as he, apprehensively, switches the light on.

The bed is still made, and the room is also empty "Shit! Where the hell is he?" Both he and Trent frown. Then listening, they hear a noise, a tearful sniffing sound that breaks the silence.

"Oh god!" Sonny frowns, slowly opening the bathroom door. The fluorescent light from the bedroom floods in and as Sonny's eyes adjust he make out a dark shape, sat on the floor  
"Clay!"

He's hugging his knees with one hand, the other at the top of his arm, which is covered in blood.

"Oh my god! What the hell have you done?" Sonny let's out a deep breath "Clay, we're here buddy, hold on, we got you" he frowns looking at Trent "What the hell's happened?"

Trent frowns before he speedily turns back to the living area to pick up his medical kit. He instinctively grabbed it when Sonny arrived to collect him, to come here.

They both crouch down beside him and Trent slowly peels Clay's fingers away from the wound at the top of his arm. It's red raw and bleeding and it looks like he's clawed at the stitches, almost like he's picked them undone.

"Clay let me look" Trent frowns. His whole arm is red, hot and a wet bloody mess.

Sonny stomach turns as he watches Trent treating him "Is that infected? Jeez it looks painful" He shakes his head, running his hand through his hair. "I don't understand, how has this happened? I mean, how the hell long has it been like that? "

Trent shrugs "I'm not sure. I knew he'd been having an issue with it, just didn't realise it was this bad" he starts to clean it up with some antiseptic wipes "I know the hospital said it wasn't healing properly, hence why they kept him on the antibiotics when they discharged him"

Sonny squats down in front of him putting his hand on his leg, but Clay doesn't want to be touched and pushes him off, pulling his legs tighter towards his chest.

"Clay, did you do this, to your arm?" he doesn't answer and Sonny looks at Trent bewildered.

Trent's sighs, he's seen something similar, once, before. A guy he knew used to cut his arms, it was his way of coping and he wonders if that's what Clay's been doing.

Clay doesn't move and he won't look at either of them. He just sits silently sniffing and taking deep breaths holding his knees.  
Sonny goes to the bedroom to find a blanket. wrapping it around his shoulders. He's shivering, not so much cold, more like shock. Sonny wraps his arms around him holding him tight, as Trent continues to treat his arm.

"We never should have taken him there" Sonny shakes his head. "I told Jason it was a bad idea." he sighs again "God damn! He getting better. he lets out another long sigh "You know what I wish? I wish to god Jenna had...had just finished her off."

Trent looks at him they both thinking the same thing "Let it go Sonny, this is not helping anyone"

"No , you know who's really to blame here?" He sighs again, staring Trent in the eyes "Ash! this is all Ash's fault. He could have put a stop to this, he knew what she was like. And my god...how the hell could he sleep with his sons..." he stops what he's saying realising Clay's listening, and though he's still seething , he doesn't say another word, just tightening his grip around Clay.

Trent sighs, as he finishes with the bandage "Let's get him up" They get either side of him and lift him through to the bedroom, sitting him down on the bed.

He starts shaking uncontrollably, and Trent preps an injection from his bag, he notices the way Sonny's frowning, watching him "Just a mild sedative, calm him down a little, help him sleep"

Clay's also, silently, watching as Trent injects the needle into his leg. Then without even realising he's doing it, his hand goes to the top of his arm and slowly starts to squeeze at it again, closing his eyes to the sudden sharp pain.

Sonny frowns watching as Trent gently removes his hand. "Leave it Clay"

Clay's now asleep on the bed and they cover him over.

Sonny runs his hand through his hair, down his face and over his beard. He lets out a long anxious sigh. "What the hell are we going to do with him? We can't leave him in this state. Who knows what they hell he might do"

"No, we'll get him some help. I'll contact some people tomorrow, organise a care plan. We'll just stay with him overnight tonight, keep an eye on him" Trent pats Sonny on the shoulder. "I'm gonna make some coffee, it's gonna be a long night. You want some? " he sighs and smiles "And... bags I get the couch" He points at Sonny smiling "You get the floor"

For once Sonny's doesn't even complain, he's too worried about Clay to even think about sleeping "You know.." he sighs sitting down in the chair ".. seein' her today, that's what's set him off"

Trent fills the coffee machine and leans over the counter staring at Sonny "Whatever it was it doesn't matter now. It's gonna be fine Sonny. We know he needs help and we're gonna make sure he gets it"

"I just wanna kill her. Like I mean so bad. I wanna kill her. I really do." he shakes his head "How they hell did she do this to him, without us even noticing?"

Trent shakes his head "That's how it works, Sonny. Things like this, it's not a bam, in your face, noticeable thing. It's a drip effect, and seems she was really good at covering her tracks."

"Yeah I know... " Sonny rubs his head, he's tired now "..but I mean, what the hell makes a woman do something like that? Something happened to her, Trent, and it messed her up so bad"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Robert's looks up at the sound of knocking on his office door "Come!"

"Sir!" Malone enters the room, carrying some files. "Can I come in?"

"Maurice, what you got for me?" Roberts leans back in his chair putting his feet up on the desk.

"I got the um.. forensics back, for the McCready murders"

"Oh Jeez, finally. It's about time." He takes his feet down and sits up straight to listen "What is it about three weeks now that we've been waiting ?"

"Yeah, it's been a while " Malone sighs "but there's um…well, there's been some issues. Ann Marie Jenkin's, her lawyer. Basically, he's been an asshole. He um… likes tying things up, dotting the I's crossing the T's if you know what I mean."

Roberts frowns, sighing "Really?So, who the hell is he?"

"Oliver Ashton, some big shot from New York, Ashton Lawyers Ltd. Expensive suit, flash watch and a love of Botox by the looks of him."

Roberts frowns "And she can afford a lawyer like that?"

"Oh, c'mon sir. She doesn't. Remember her father's, a plastic surgeon and did you know, he's actually, one of the top in his field for reconstructive surgery, so course he's gonna have fancy lawyers" Malone sighs "That's where the big bucks are Sir, not doing what we do, we're in the wrong game."  
He lays, the files he's holding, on to the desk "Anyway he's put in a plea of self-defence. Arguing it was reasonable to for her to believe that she was gonna be his, McCready's, next victim"

"Self defense?" Roberts frowns

"Yeah well... well given the photographic evidence, I've seen of the bruising to her wrists, and thighs. I kinda believe it myself. I mean we know from forensics he sexually assaulted those girls before he killed them so...even I would assume he had every intention of doing the same to her. She was unlucky when she fell in that water and he fished her out."

Roberts runs his hands over his head as he flips through the file "So, forensics say she hit him with a hammer. And that just the _one_ blow killed him"

"Yeah, one hit to the side of the skull. M.E did say…" he flicks the report finding the right page "…that…He'd never in all his years, seen a woman kill with so much force from one blow. Making ...and I quote, _it hard to distinguish it from the type of blow that would be consistent to a male making it_."  
He raises his eyebrows looking at Roberts "One fierce, and angry little lady for sure. Anyways, county lawyer's for prosecution are accepting the self defense plea. Ashton, he's tying it in knots saying, he would quote the M. E as culpability doubt on the evidence... basically if pushed on hs plea he'd cast doubt on if we could prove it was her"

"Jeez!" Roberts frowns, leaning back in his chair "So, what this is lawyers speak saying ... he wants to argue it might not have been her, even though she's pleading guilty on a self defense plea? What the hell, that's just so messed up."  
He shakes his head and rubs his chin, confused. He's always hated lawyers at the best of times but _this one sounds a total douche bag._ "Well it's not like we didn't expect the self defense plea, I suppose. But err .. what we looking at on sentencing, minimum I mean".

Malone shakes his head "We'll that's the thing, it's um... unlikely she'd serve jail time. Her lawyer saying, she's not fit to take the stand anyways, and we can't actually know her plea is true due to her _impaired mental assessment_. Judge would have hard time sentencing in circumstances, especially with this Ashton A-hole on her defense team."

"So…" Roberts lets out a long-frustrated sigh "where we at with the families, we've contacted them all?" Malone nods at him "You know Maurice, I can't believe that son bitch did this, and right under our noses"

"Yeah, yeah I know Sir. Makes me feel sick just thinking about the whole case" Malone sighs "We um... we returned all the possession, and autopsy reports are all done."  
He takes a moment quietly thinking "Same MO on all, he strangled them after sexual assault. The computer nerds also found indecent images on his cell phone"

"Dear god! He really was a first class son of a bitch. Just proves, Malone, you just can't tell. Always thought he seemed a nice guy the few times I saw him around town. Same with this Jenkins woman, the odd times I met her and her father, you'd think butter wouldn't melt"  
He sighs a long tired worn out sigh "So,the charges, regarding Mr Spenser, junior I mean how they shaping up?"

Malone shakes his head "No! No, go there. Mr Spenser, Clay, he um... he won't press any charges. Stickin' with his version of events, that it was argument between them that got out of hand"

"Shit! He's not serious right? I mean, Malone we need to talk to him again. If this lawyer is as hot as you say, then he's gonna make ground beef of us, if he won't corroborate the whole story. I'm putting my neck on the line here prosecuting" he frowns seriously worried  
"Do you know how hard it will be to get abuse charge to stick. Jury will take one look. A small petite woman, giving them innocent eyes and him a big strong tough guy, a Navy Seal. They gonna make their minds up right there in that moment. No, no I need him to give a statement, I need him to take the stand."

Roberts takes two of the nicotine tabs from his pack, popping them in his mouth and chewing furiously "God Dammit, this whole case is going to dog dung. We need to get him to change his mind"

"Sir I.. I really don't think he will. He seems to be doing better now. Back at his job says he doesn't want all the publicity that a case like this would bring. Sir, he wants to move on. Ultimately she's not getting out of that place without a damn good reason so…I think he just wants to leave it alone"

Roberts sighs loudly, showing his frustration "Okay,okay then, let's press with the assault charges, intent to wound and kidnap, on Jenna and Spenser senior, we must have a case there" he frowns then snapping his fingers "Throw in handling an unlicensed weapon"

Malone looks down he head drops. He looks at his paperwork as Roberts stares at him "What? There something else Malone?"

He sighs and nods "Yeah um..." he swallows "It um ... it seems, Ms Jenkins lawyer, he um... still wants the charges pressed for assault, Jenna on Ann Marie"

"Shit! What the hell, they can't be serious? Not after what she put them all through."  
Roberts rubs his head taking a deep breath in "Okay, put the charges through, then let's just hope Jenna has a good lawyer too."

Malone shakes his head "Sir, she's a nurse. She's not gonna have a good lawyer. And you know as well as I do, that the hospital will suspend her, if we go through with these charges. Mud sticks, especially round here, you know that"

Roberts sighs, rubbing his head again trying to think what to do "Alright. Hold off on processing the charges, for as long as we can. In the meantime we work on a way to get them to drop them. Just work on something, someway, somehow of getting them to drop those charges. Make it one of the conditions of the plea bargain, but get something on Ann Marie, something we can use as leverage if needs be"

Malone sighs "Thanks Sir. I'll um... I'll swing by and tell her. I know how worried she is"  
He looks down, he's sad and hates the thought of having to be the one to arrest Jenna. Shaking his head at the nightmare of the situation.  
"You know Sir, this is all bullshit. I mean we know this is bullshit, right. We should not be doing this, to Jenna. That woman needs locking up. Sir, we have to find a way; we can't let some big city lawyer ... " he sighs as Roberts nods at him "Fine! I'll get this done."

"Malone..." Roberts turns from the window looking at him "You're right _we_ do know this is bullshit, but... till we find a way to secure this case, then the hot shot lawyers have got our hands tied. But we'll find something. You tell Jenna that. We'll make sure she gets what she deserves"

He sighs again, flicking through the file, looking at the evidence photographs. Scratching his head, he frowns as he reads some more "Shit! That's it …. The drugs!"

He smiles "Drugs, Malone. Possession of fentanyl that's our in. Add that and being in control of prescription medication without a license." he nods "Fentanyl distribution, has a higher sentence. Go at it from that angle. Anything. Just work on driving that plea bargain down. Let's play this lawyer at his own game"

Malone smiles "Good thinking Sir. I'm on it"

"Did they say when we can talk with her, yet? Ms Jenkins, is she fit to talk."

"Um... " he sighs again "yeah there's a bit of a problem there too" he looks away from Roberts glare he knows all these problems that Roberts may appear calm on the surface but underneath he will be fuming  
"Seems her father, he's um... had her indefinitely committed to a place called the..." He scrabbles in his notebook trying to recall the name "..._The Cedars_, a private, secure medical facility, so at this time, we have no rights to question her. Not while she undergoing medical treatment. Well, not until her doctor deems her fit to talk. And when I spoke with Dr Khan, he said she was still under sedation "

Roberts laughs "And let me guess ... they're not going to give us that permission. You're kidding me, right? No don't answer that." he rubs his head  
"Oh my god, Malone what the hell is going on here. " he frowns, leaning back in his chair, closing his eyes.

"You know Sir, this Cedar's, it's a pretty expensive place. Did you know it even has a steam room and pool! " Malone's eyes light up as he scans through the brochure he has in his file

Roberts rolls his eyes. "Alright, keep at 'em. We need to talk to her. And Malone, keep at that lawyer about this plea, work on those charges against Jenna, as priority. Ms Jenkins is going nowhere for now so let just do what we can"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

**Four weeks later**

Sonny sighs loudly again as he paces the corridor. He feels like a caged tiger and he looks at Trent who's just calmly stood leaned against the wall across from him  
"This is a bad idea you know that right? These places, all these Doctors they mess with your head"

"Sonny, sit down, it'll be fine" Clay smiles as he calmly flicks through the magazines on the table.

"Fine?" he shakes his head "How is it fine? You were just starting to get yourself together. That fancy head doctor that Jenkins sorted for you, has been making you better. You're back operating and got back from your first op in one piece. But no, you can't be happy with that, no you gotta do sumthing dumb like this. It's a bad idea I tell ya, a bad, bad idea" he sighs "Trent talk some sense into him"

"Hey don't involve me. This is up to Clay. Look Sonny, if he feels he needs this then... then maybe it's what he should do?"

Sonny frowns "What did your fancy Shrinky person say about this? Did he say you should do it or did he say it was a dumb idea too?"

"Firstly, he is a she.. and yes, she said it was a good idea. Give me closure. Plus ..." he sighs looking at Trent "well ...the other reason and we all wanna move on"

Sonny sits down flicking the magazines before quickly throwing it down, he can't settle and starts pacing again "You know if Jason finds out we brought you here, he 's gonna chew all our ass's, you know that right? We gonna get our ass's chewed over a dumb idea"

"Sonny will you sit the hell down." Trent glares at him, though he might laugh Sonny's being so dramatic he also knows he's right. Jason would really chew their ass's if he knew what they were letting Clay do.

"Mr Spenser?!... Clay, Spenser."

They all look up as Clay's names called. Clay stands taking a breath, wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans. He lets out a long sigh, gathering his emotions together. He looks at Trent and Sonny "Wish me luck"

Sonny frowns "You know you don't have to do this. We can walk right outta here, right now. Just say the word and we get in the truck and be gone"

"No Sonny, I have to do this" he smiles "It'll be fine. I'll be fine"

"Mr Spenser, we're ready for you" The pretty lady in a suit comes through to the corridor where they're standing and she smiles as Clay, nervously takes a deep breath .  
"If you'd like to follow me." She puts her hand on his arm "Don't be nervous, everything will be just fine; any problems then just speak to the staff. Someone will stay with you, just follow their instructions at all times."

He nods. Taking a deep breath, he nervously looks at Sonny and Trent and smiles

"Hey, it'll be alright" Trent smiles trying to sound reassuring,

"You not comfortable in there, then you just come straight out. You hear me?" Sonny frowns, he's feeling as nervous as Clay "You want me to come get you out, just bang on the window. I'm there."

Clay laughs "Sonny, I will be fine, okay" he sighs again " Right, let's do this"

He follows the woman down the corridor entering through the double doors. "As I said any problems speak to the staff. We're just over there."

She gestures with her hand towards the table, she gives him another reassuring smile before turning to leave.

Clay takes a deep breath in, holding it for a few moments as he stares towards the window. His nerves kick in and he can feel a panic in his breathing already __

_Stay calm take a breath._ He keeps telling himself as he takes slow deep breaths. He smiles at the nurse who's sitting on the chair in the corner of the quiet room.

There's bright sunlight coming through the large windows and he rubs his hand through his hair as he approaches the table, nervously. This is the first time since he thought about doing this that he's not sure whether to go through with it or not.


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47: A surprise Chapter Text

"Clay!" she smiles "You came. I – I wasn't sure if you would actually turn up" Ann Marie's face beams with relief "I've been so excited this past few days, when they said you wanted to see me. It's the first time they've let me see anyone, well apart from my father. But he's the one put me here so... he doesn't really count."

Clay takes a deep breath. He gets a little head rush as he stares at her. She's sat there at the table by herself _Slow breaths Clay. Four, three, two ...one. _He keeps reminding himself what Dr Schmidt told him to do, if and when he felt any panic.

Somehow, she doesn't look how he still had in his mind. Not at all how he remembered her. Now she seems calm, almost subdued.  
Wearing a plain grey, oversized, sweatshirt and matching sweatpants, hair tied in a loose messy bun, and with no makeup she just looks tired and pale. Definitely not the fiery, angry person from their final day together. But despite all that, she's still the pretty, attractive and even sexy looking woman that attracted his attention in what feels like a lifetime ago.

He takes another deep breath, smiles, then pulls the chair out and sits in front of her.  
Closer up now he notices her eyes are like big black saucers just staring blankly, no emotion. All the brightness and spark that use to rage inside them has been extinguished.

"Ann Marie..." nervously he smiles "..how are you?"

"Clay, I can't believe you came." She repeats just staring and smiling at him, taking in the simple pleasure of looking at him close up. "I'm okay. I um... I don't like it here much. But I'm hoping I won't have to be here long." She can't stop smiling "It's so great to see you. I would say we could go for a walk in the garden, but they won't let me go outside yet, and I have to have my chaperone"  
Her face drops and she nods towards the nurse in the corner. "But otherwise, I suppose I'm good. How are you? My father said you're back with BRAVO, operating. That the surgery he did, on your hand, helped" she frowns "I still don't remember how you burnt it so badly"

Clay takes a breath and though he's been over the events of that day with his therapist, he's not going to relive it again now. "I'm good." he nods "Got back from my first spin up last week" he flexes his hand "Your father, he ...he did a good job on my hand. Improved things no end"

"He's good at what he does. As you know, it's not all making people look pretty" she smiles pulling the sleeves of her sweatshirt over her hands and nervously picking at the cuffs.

"So, how is it here?" Clay frowns looking around the room, trying to make some sort of awkward conversation.

She nods "It's okay, they um .. they said, if I keep on this current medication and show some improvement that I might be able to go into the garden soon. They have a nice garden; I would show you but.. " she hesitates "Someone said they have a pool too. I haven't seen it yet" she smiles at him.

"Yeah Sonny just said they have a gym and steam room too." He smiles at her "I think he was considering checking in for a week"he laughs trying to lighten the atmosphere with a half attempt at humor.

"Sonny's here with you ?"

"Um hmm" he nods " and, um... Trent."

Clay frowns, oddly he feels a little sorry for her. She seems distant, remote and almost childlike. Dr Schmidt had explained to him in one of their session that they seemed to think she had a complex borderline personality disorder, and how it could cause the extreme ranges of behavior and emotions she displays, and also the denial of responsibility.  
In some ways Clay found comfort in that, it meant that he wasn't to blame, he hadn't caused what happened to him. That unfortunately it was an illness that wasn't going to be easily fixed.

Sonny on the other hand didn't quite see it like that. His ideas about what was wrong with her were a little more cut and dried, but they agreed to differ. Sonny agreed with anything if it brought Clay some peace.

"So, is it helping? You being here. I mean are they helping you?" he sighs carefully wording what he wants to say. Fearful of upsetting or offending her. Even now he feels an overwhelming need to tip toe around his words for fear of making her angry. Fear of an outburst like he'd witnessed in the past.

"I guess.. a little." She smiles pulling the cuffs of her sweatshirt further over her hands, clenching them into fists "To be fair, I don't really leave my room. I'm kinda tired a lot of the time. I just need to sleep. But today...today is a good day, they're letting me have visitors" she smiles staring him deep in the eyes.

He can't stop looking at her but eventually breaking their gaze, he looks out of the large window before turning his head behind his shoulder, towards the nurse sitting in the corner writing on her clipboard. She looks up and gives Clay a reassuring smile.

He sighs, again facing Ann Marie and as he does he notices the frown on her face. She's staring hard at the nurse. "She does that a lot.. I've been watching her"

Clay frowns "Does what?"

"Flirts with the guys in here. Giving them that smile. I've watched her do it. She's doing it with you. I saw her face when you arrived. She needs to stop doing that."

"I'm sure she's just being polite" he looks over his shoulder again and the nurse smiles, a pitying smile

"See .. " Ann Marie lets out a long sigh as she continues to glare in the nurse's direction "I told you. It's what she does."  
Her tone changes and suddenly there's darkness in her voice " So, what did you come for Clay? Why did you ask to see me?"

He shrugs his shoulders and sighs "My um...my therapist, she said it would give me some closure. If I spoke to you, face to face."

"She?" Ann Marie frowns again "You have a female shrink?" she laughs hysterically "Well that's typical of you. Does she flirt with you too Clay? I bet she likes having you for a patient."

She shakes her head dropping her gaze, looking at the cuffs on her sweatshirt "You know, I can't believe my father. I bet he did that on purpose. I knew when he told me he was paying for a therapist for you, that there was more to it than his way of an apology. I knew there must be a reason and that's it. He gives you a female therapist, probably hoping all that alone time, that you'll find someone else, that you'll move on from me. Is that what you're doing Clay? Moving on."

He swallows, slightly nervous, at the way her mind is working. Writing its own fantasy story line. He looks again at the nurse, who's now frowning and speedily writing on her clipboard "Ann Marie are you okay?" she calls over "Are you feeling alright? Do we need to end this?"

Ann Marie closes her eyes and takes a deep long breath composing herself "No! No, I'm fine. I'm good ... Clay's fine.. it's all fine! Sorry I didn't mean.. sorry."

"Okay, well if you get a problem then I'm here. Remember what we talked about, about staying calm and not reading motives into things"

Ann Marie sighs, biting her lip hard "Sorry." she sighs "So… is your therapy helping?"

He nervously nods "Yeah. Yeah, Dr Schmidt has been great. She really thought this would be good for me. Help me process things better. That's one of the reasons I came today. She said it might help me put things in perspective."

She smiles and laughs watching him "What so your mind doesn't build me up to be a that demon in a cage." She leans forward over the table, staring him deep in the eyes, then laughs "Isn't that how they word it? Their psychobabble. So that I don't become a focus of your fears"

Clay nods, he feels apprehensive as Ann Marie repeats almost exactly word for word, what Dr Schmidt said. Feeling slightly uncomfortable and a bit on edge now, he moves his chair back away from the table "Yeah I guess, something like that."

Ann Marie leans back in her chair smiling at him. "Are you scared of me Clay? Is that what this is about. You want to see me like this. Know they have me locked up giving me all these drugs that mess with my head. Make it so that I ... I can't think straight"

"I'm sure they're just helping you. Trying to make you better. That's all."

"I don't need their help. But you could help me"  
She grabs at his hand, digging her nails deep into his skin, holding his hand in hers tight "Get me out of here Clay. Please. Let me come home with you. Tell them we can fix this, be a family. Please Clay. Please, I hate being here alone"

As she grabs at his hand harder, holding it tighter he starts to panic. Feeling a rush of adrenaline flow through his body, his heart beating so fast.  
The nurse is at the table "Ann Marie let go! Ann Marie..." she stares her hard in the eyes ".. we told you no touching." They're both staring at each other, the nurse gently takes hold of Ann Marie's hand, trying to remove it from Clay's "We told you, you won't be allowed visitors if you can't obey the rules"

"Alright, alright.." she immediately let's go of Clay's hand. Rubbing her head in frustration  
"I'm sorry, I .. I just don't want to be here anymore. My father's doing this, making me stay here. So, he can control me. Make me do what he wants but it won't work. I am going to get out of here"

Clay frowns, he rubs the back of his hand. Now he feels a mix of emotions from fear of her to sorrow and pity. The fact she really doesn't comprehend why she has to stay there and the fact that she's going to be there for quite some time. Because Clay knows if she doesn't stay here then she will probably end up in jail. "Ann Marie, he's only keeping you here, so that you can get better. You're not well. You really do need to stay here"

"I can't, I can't be here... there's things. I hate it here. You don't know how awful it is, what they do. They keep giving me things, making me sleep. I … I can't do this, please Clay, don't leave me here. I hate it so much"

"I can't help you Ann Marie, I'm sorry. Your father told me this is the best place to help you"  
He gives her a pitiful smile as he looks at her "You're here because of the things you did, you must realize that."

She smiles "Oh I forgot, he's got you on side now. His new replacement for me. He can't help me, he's abandoned me, keeping me locked up here. But he helps you. If you would just see it. Clay, I'll do anything, anything for you to make it right. But please don't leave me here on my own. Ask me anything, I'll do it"

Clay takes a deep breath knowing he now has the opportunity to ask for what he wants. The _real_ reason for today's visit "Anything? Anything, to make it right between us. You mean that?"

She nods "Anything just ask me "

"Then have your lawyer drop the charges on Jenna."

Ann Marie takes a deep breath in. Taken aback by his request she stares at him hard. "What? Why would you ask that?" she frowns "Of everything, that's what you want?"

"You said ask anything and that's what I want. Please, you don't need to do that to her. She's a good person. She helped me lots, she was there for me"

"She was there for you!" she scoffs. Closing her eyes as she thinks for a moment "Did Ash send you to ask this ?"

"What ? Ash? No, no I- I haven't seen or spoken to Ash since... "

"LIAR!" she jumps up from her chair and slams her hands on the table in front of him making him jump in fear. Pushing his chair back away from the table.

The Nurse is over beside them "Ann Marie you need to calm down. or I will have to get the Doctor. Do you want that? Ann Marie please sit down I'm going to have to ask Clay to leave. You know the rules"

She takes a deep breath, clawing her hand through her hair. Closing her eyes as she takes a deep breath. She pulls her chair in and calmly sits down "Sorry. I'm sorry. I just …"  
She sighs watching as the nurse speaks to Clay before he resumes his seat "Clay, I'm sorry. It's just thinking about him. Is he seeing her? I need to know. I _have _to know"

"No!" Clay shakes his head, confused "No, why would you think that? No Ash is not seeing her, she's seeing Trent. They have a thing going on. Trust me, Ash has nothing to do with this."

"So why? Why would you want me to drop the charges? She attacked me don't you care about that?"

He sighs. This whole thing with her paranoia its hard work for him. She makes no sense in her reasoning and he wonders if Sonny was right. This, coming here, it was dumb idea. That him thinking he'd be able to talk her round where no one else had  
"Ann Marie, she'll lose her nursing license, her career. Trent's my friend and they want to move forward. But these charges...please, if you want to put things right, between us, then start with this. Do this for me"

"For you?"

"For me, yes for me" he nods

"And if I do this, you 'll come and see me again. I mean, if I drop the charges you'll come here again."

He sighs. His head is swimming with dilemma. He has no intention of coming again but also in her vulnerable state he feels an obligation not to lie to her, but he wants her to do this "I'll think about it … Okay?"

"Yes!" She smiles "Yes, you'll come again" she beams with relief "Okay, then sure I'll speak to Oliver. I'll um... I'll tell him to drop the charges. That you asked me, that it's what you wanted"

He can see her picking at the sleeves on the sweatshirt. She seems really agitated and keeps taking deep breathes " You know, I asked him to come see me. But he's just been ignoring my calls"

"Who?" Clay frowns

"Ash. He won't respond to my calls and I need to see him. Will you tell him, that I need to see him?"

"I -I don't have anything to do with him now. Anyway, are you sure that's a good idea. I mean ... after everything"

Clay frowns, but Ann Marie's not looking at him now. She gets up and wanders to the window where she stands just staring out, not saying a word. She looks lost in her thoughts.

He watches as the nurse goes to her side "Ann Marie are you alright?" but she gets no response "Ann Marie.." she can see the frown on her head, how deep in thought she is

"You know I'm tired. I think I need to be on my own. You need to go." She frowns at Clay

He nods "Okay. Um.. yeah sure. If that's what you want."

She nods silently. The nurse nods too "I'll get your medication and someone to escort you back to your room."

"No! No, I..I just want to stay here for a bit. I don't want any more pills they just make me sleep. I just want to look at the garden."

"She'll be fine. Don't worry" The nurse smiles at Clay seeing the concerned look on his face "I'll show you the way out."

He frowns "Ann Marie take care. I hope… I hope you get better soon. Just let them help you okay."  
He hesitates at the doorway. Just watching her. She doesn't reply to him, just staring, lost in her thoughts "Okay, well I'm leaving now."

"Clay!" she turns staring at him "Wait! Please… please don't leave me here. Say you'll find a way to get me out" she can see the look on his face, he doesn't say a word, but his face looks sad "Please if not that then just come and see me again"

"I'll think about it. But please, you'll sort the charges against Jenna?"

She nods "Yeah... I'll sort Jenna."

"Thank you." He smiles "Goodbye Ann Marie"

Ann Marie takes a deep breath looking at the nurse and she smiles "He still loves me. My boyfriend still loves me, did you know that"

The nurse frowns "Ann Marie, why don't we sit down. I'll get you some water and your medication"

She nods and sits in the chair by the window. The pretty lady Doctor in the suit from before comes to the doorway and smiles. "Ann Marie are you okay?"

She nods "Yeah, yeah I'm good. Just a bit tired. Did my other visitor come?"

"Um... no. No not yet. I'll let you know if he does"

"Okay. I'll just wait. He will." She closes her eyes "You know, it's so nice here. So peaceful. I'll just wait"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Ash sits nervously waiting in the reception area. He sighs, not even sure why he decided to come. "Um... excuse me" he asks the receptionist "Do you know how much longer; I'm going to have to wait? I've been here nearly an hour now."

She smiles "I'm sorry. As I told you earlier when you asked, I don't because the Doctor is with her, so you will just have to have patience"

He turns from the desk pacing the corridor. Looking at the time on his cell phone. As he turns someone grabs at his shoulder. A taller, big built guy in a suit  
"What the hell did I tell you. I told you to stay away and not come here anymore. You need to leave."

Ash shakes his head "You know she asked me to come. She won't stop calling me"

"My daughter is not well. And this, all of this, the reason she's here, it's because of you. And for that reason, I asked you to stay away."

"I can't. I need to see her. I need to speak to her face to face"

"Well, that's just not going to happen. You are not going anywhere near her, not now, not ever. Do I make it clear"?

"She asked me to come, and you're not gonna stop me seeing her" he goes to the reception desk "Can you tell Ann Marie Jenkins, that I'm here. " he turns back to face her father "You can't stop me. It's what she wants"

"Oh... " Dr Jenkins laughs ".. but I can. See they have instructions to call me if she has any unauthorized visitors. And that most definitely includes you. So, you are not getting to see her"

Ash frowns angrily "And what will you tell her? What will you say is the reason you didn't let me see her? That I came here, like she asked, but _you _wouldn't let me in."

"I won't be telling her anything. She won't even know you were here. Ash... you need to go, for both of you, you need to leave her alone"

Ash is fuming inside. He hates being dictated to and he also wants to see her for his own reasons "No, I need to see her. She said some things, and I need to know if they are true"

"My daughter doesn't know the truth, at the moment. She hardly knows who she is. She lives in a fantasy world. And that's all your doing!"

Ash takes a breath "Then you tell me. Just for god sake tell me. Cos they won't tell me anything. Patient confidentiality, but I just need to know, what she said... she said she was pregnant? Is that true? Is she carrying my child?"

"Is that what you want?" Dr Jenkins laughs "Just go Ash, you're pathetic."  
He takes a deep breath "I won't have you ruin my daughter's life anymore. This all stated with you. You knew she was grieving, she was hurting from her brother and mother, and you took advantage"

They glare at each other, Dr Jenkins being taller is looking down on Ash "Your ego took advantage of a pretty girl, who, when she was no use to you, you discarded her. Forcing her to terminate her pregnancy that tipped her over the edge"

He takes a breath, grinding his teeth, he's so close to just thumping Ash where he stands "You know I never liked you. Not because of my son, or because you were too old for her. But because you're selfish and egotistical. She was a trophy girlfriend. Because of me, my daughter opened doors for your TV career. She was too naïve to see what you were. But I warned you then to stay away"

"She was the one who kept chasing me. She laid it on the plate to me. What you think no other man would have took what she was offering?"

Jenkins pushes into Ash's chest "You wrecked your relationship with your own son I won't let you do that to my daughter. Now you need to leave, or I'll get security to have you removed"

"You can't. I told her I was coming. I promised her I would come."

He laughs "You didn't come for her. You came because of what you wanted to know because of how it would affect _you_"

"Come on" Ash sighs "Look father to father, you know why I have to know"

"No! I don't care about how you feel and don't, don't even try to make out you could ever possibly be a good father. Have you even spoken to your own son? No, I doubt it after what you did to him. You broke that boy and other people have been left to pick up the pieces. So, I'll just tell her you didn't show. I mean that should be of no surprise to anyone."

"And when she calls me again? Then I'll tell her... tell her what you did"

"She won't be calling you again" He smiles disapprovingly at Ash then looks at the receptionist who is watching them "Get security. And, this man is not to enter the premises again"

"Fine. I'll go. But, I _will_ come back"

"No, you won't. I'm telling you now. You have _no_ reasons to come back. Is that clear enough"

Ash takes a deep breath, reading the look on his face. He smiles "So it was a lie!"

He shakes his head "What was it? Just some game to get me here. Jeez I knew it. I knew she was lying. Like always. She's crazy, you know that. She's always has been crazy and dangerous and no matter how much money and swanky facilities you throw at her, she won't change. The only good thing in all this, is at least she's away from other people now. She's away from me and she's away from Clay. You need to keep your hands off him too. I heard what you've been doing. Trying to ease your conscience, but you need to remember, he's not your son, he's mine!"

The Security guard puts his hand on Ash "Get off me! I'm going. And I'll be blocking her number so tell her not to bother calling me anymore"

**o-o-o-o-o-o—o**

"Ann Marie" the nurse calls to her from the doorway of her room and smiles "Are you okay?"

She nods solemnly as she sits on the bed. She's picking at the sleeves on sweatshirt "He didn't come Maria. Ash, he was supposed to come today, but he didn't'' she wipes the tears off her cheeks

"Oh honey. Did you really think he would"?

She nods "Yeah, yeah. He promised. He promised he would come. I just... I just needed to see him" she rubs at her head "Oh, I'm just so tired. I want this to be over. I feel so confused"

"I know. It's gonna take some time that's all. Anyway, Dr Khan is ready to see you now. Why don't you speak to him, tell him about the way you're feeling? Just take these pills, then we'll go when you're ready?"

Ann Marie nods as Maria hands her he small plastic pot containing a colorful array of tablets. She looks at her pitifully "Can you call Clay again for me. He said, he would call me about taking me home"

"Later" Maria smiles "Just take the meds we don't want to keep Dr Khan waiting do we"

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

"Ann Marie, nice to see you. How are you today?" Dr Khan smiles as he looks up from the screen in front of him. "I hear you've had a busy day. That you had a visitor. How did it go?"

She smiles "It was fine. I'm just ...tired now. Do you know how long it will be, before I can get out of here"?

"What, you don't like being here with us?" he sighs watching her " I thought you were settling in well now?" He looks up at the nurse who's shaking her head, he frowns. "Has something upset you? Some reason you don't want to stay now? I thought we got past this."

"I'm just ...just so tired. I want to go home. And...and Ash didn't come. I wanted him here today."

"I know, but Ann Marie, it's all normal, the way you're feeling right now, we need to get you well. The tiredness will fade once we to get this medication right, it's just gonna take a little time, that's all. But we'll get there, slowly."  
He lets out a long breath as he watches her " I spoke with Maria, and she says you wanted to go to the garden? Perhaps we can fix that, if you're feeling up to it."

She smiles "Yeah, I'd like that. You know, Clay said I could go to his, if I don't want to stay here. Maybe we could look into that, please?"

He sighs "Ann Marie, we talked about this. That's not going to happen. I'm sorry, but you have to stay here for now. But we'll take care of you don't worry." He puts his hand reassuringly on her arm.

"Please I .. I really, really don't want to be here."

"I know, but it's how it has to be. Now let's take a look at how you're getting on."  
He flicks through his notes in the file in front of him " Hop up on the couch. We can perhaps increase the dose on a couple of these tablets and see if that makes you feel a little better. What is it now eleven weeks now ?"

"Eleven.. yeah about that " she sighs

"Oh my, time is moving along. And everything is alright with you, apart from the tiredness?"

She nods "I guess"

"Okay then. Shall we see how things are getting on then." He smiles at her "Now... this might feel a little cold at first" He squeezes the gel on to her bare stomach "Do you know what you're hoping for? Boy or a girl?"

"I don't mind" she smiles "I like the idea of it being a surprise."


End file.
